Of Corpse
On September 1st James headed to the train station, his heart heavy. This was his first time taking his walk alone. First time without his parents, first time without Sirius, first time not looking forward to seeing Moony and Peter waiting for them at the entrance. Yeah James hated this day. But a part of him…
A part of him was excited, excited to see his son again. Even if, he thought, feeling an all too familiar pang in his heart, he wouldn’t know who in Merlin’s name he was.
So with little preamble James made his way on the train, looking at all the kids, before he picked an empty compartment and worked on moving his heavy trunk up on the shelf it normally goes on.
He, of course, made sure his spotted owl, Speckle, was content in his cage. It wouldn’t be good to have his owl pissed at him if his cage went flying around the compartment. James didn’t think Speckle would take too kindly to that.
After that James sat down on a bench and started looking out the window at everyone interacting. He saw a few people that might have looked familiar… He saw a gaggle of ginger hair, no doubt Weasley children. Briefly he could remember that when he ‘died’ the family had their sixth boy, Harry’s age if he remembers right.
Well that should be interesting at least, hopefully all their boys were getting on well.
As he watched children start to all board the train and look for a compartment he couldn’t help feeling the bitter nostalgia that welled up.
His own first year he was running down the hallways, trying to make as many friends as he possibly could, talk to as many people as he possibly could. He was always like that, bubbly and wanting to talk with others, get to know them.
However for this ride all James could do was watch the kids search for a compartment and hope none of them picked his. For once in his life he didn’t want people to see him, he didn’t want to talk with anyone.
Distantly he could almost hear how Sirius would act as if he was dying, James Potter not wanting to be social? Blasphemy!
He couldn’t stop the small laugh he let out as he thought of that. He supposed… if Moony and Padfoot couldn’t really be with him this year then he would just… imagine they were with him, guiding him through this.
~~~
Soon they were exiting the boat and walking up to the doors of Hogwarts. James had unfortunately not seen Harry during the boat ride, he had to share a boat with someone with suspiciously blonde hair and two boys who almost looked to be bodyguards. A lovely ride.
Now though, the doors swung open and his heart leapt into his chest. He had hoped that he wouldn’t see Professor McGonagall here. Realistically he knew it wouldn’t happen that way but a part of him still hoped.
As the gaggle of children followed her into the hall James tuned himself out a bit, following the motions of the others. He knew that her speech hadn’t changed from his own first year after he and Sirius had gone undercover as first years during their 4th.
A few minutes after that they were marched into the Great Hall, which looked as majestic as he had left it. Looking up at the glorious enchanted sky he felt like he was finally home. Since waking up he had felt wrong, out of place. Being in Hogwarts however… He was home again.
Soon the starting ceremony commenced. James made sure to pay attention to the students that would be in his year, it was always helpful to know names.
He watched as Abbot, Hannah was placed in Hufflepuff, to the cheering of the house table before McGonagall called out the next name.
“Black, Rasalas!”
James never moved his head so quickly. There shouldn’t be anyone with the last name Black. There was no one to inherit the name, who in Merlin’s name-?
The thought quickly died when he saw the boy sit on the stool, the hat sitting upon his head.
He knew that boy.
He had watched him get sorted, had comforted Sirius as he was actively losing his brother, watched as he stole hidden glances at James and he returned them in kind, watched an older version of that boy sob in the Astronomy tower as they…
…
His heart clenched painfully thinking about Regulus Black.
He was quickly brought out of his own thoughts when the hat shouted, “Slytherin!”
The Slytherin table politely clapped instead of cheering for their new recruit but James wasn’t really looking at them. He was watching Regulus, he knew it was him, it had to be, walking to the table, taking in the sight of new eyes. He caught the hazel instead of the icy cold gray that used to decorate his eyes. Briefly he felt his heart break a bit, the icy gray really suited him better.
After all, Regulus was always adamant that hazel went absolutely horrible with him.