The Plan
Monday in the Great hall during lunch
“If you don't shut up I'm going to hurt you” Regulus threatened
“You love me too much to kill me”
“No I really don't Barty” Regulus glared
“But you love my di-” Barty started to say before Regulus cut him off
“We agreed not to talk about that!” Regulus exclaimed cutting Barty off
“Oh no Barty please talk about it” Dorcas laughed
“Ok so last year-” Barty started before Regulus covered his mouth with his hand
“You say another word and will you never use that dick of yours again” Regulus threatened with daggers in his stare
“Don’t lick my fucking hand!” Regulus exclaimed whipping his hand on Barty's robes
“Oh merlin I don’t think Cas can breath” Evan said dying of laughter as him and Dorcas fell all over each other on the bench in front of Barty and Regulus
“Don’t worry Reg we all know about what you and Barty’s relationship included last year” Pandora said laughing with the rest of them
“Me and Barty’s ‘relationship’ is and was friendship” Regulus said appalled
“I think you forgot a share a room with you two” Evan said wiping tears from his eyes
“And you two forgot to cast a silencing charm way to many times” Dorcas added
“What- no- we never” Regulus struggled to deny what was being said while his face started to get really red
“Aww your blushing” Barty said pointing out Regulus's embarrassment
“UGHHHH” Regulus exclaimed into his hands
“Its ok Reg sex isn't a thing to be ashamed of” Pandora said putting her hand on Regulus’s shoulder
“I’m not ashamed of sex” Regulus said muffled by his hands
“Oh so I get it your ashamed of it being homosexual sex” Dorcas said with a smirk
“I am not ashamed of any of the hetero or homosexual sex I have had!” Regulus said lifting his head from his hands with a look that said ‘this bitch just tried to call me homophobic’
“So you admit to having sex with another man?” Evan asks smirking
“Oh, mes étoiles!(Oh my stars), Yes I have had sex with a man” Regulus said exasperated “Multiple times actually thank you very much”
“That man was me” Barty said proudly pointing both his thumbs at himself
“BARTY” Regulus exclaims through gritted teeth as he started hitting Barty
“Ow stop hitting me!” Bary said laughing
“Je vais te tuer!(I’m going to kill you!)” Regulus said incredibly angry
Evan (who speakers broken french) snorts laughing again as others in the great hall start staring
“I don't understand French, please Evan save me!” Barty begged
“I can't help you” Evan says
“You dug your own grave Barty” Dorcas adds laughing as well
Over on the Gryffindor table
“Sirius, why is your brother beating up Crouch?” Mary asked trying to understand the situation playing out on the table beside them
“How would I know?” Sirius asked
“I don't know you’re brothers” Mary shrugged
“We haven’t lived in the same house since I was 17,” Sirius said
“I don't know I’m an only child” Mary shrugged
“You act like it” Marlene said laughing slightly
“Hey! What's that supposed to mean” Mary asked
“Yah what that supposed to mean” James repeated
“Nothing bad” Lily said “It's just that it's obvious when someone doesn't have siblings”
“Lily you are too nice to them” Peter said “Only children are just.. special”
“What do you mean by special?” Remus asked this time
“A bad kind of special” Sirius said bluntly “When you don't have a sibling you become selfish, self-centered, spoiled, and you just think everything will always go your way” He continued waving his fork around
“Padfoot you are all those things” James said
“But I have a sibling Prongs” Sirius said like it made all the sense in the world
“He’s got a point” Lily said “You are all those things you described, having a sibling doesn't change that”
“But I'm also gay so it balances out” Siruis adds
“Fruity logic” Marlene said
“So going off of your logic Pads, am I a basic only child?” Remus asked
“You're different” Sirius rolls his eyes
“How?” Remus asked leaning forward with a playful smile
Sirius was struggling to think of something
“Because you're Moony” Peter said
“Exactly” Sirius automatically agreed pointing at Peter
“So I'm different because of my furry problem?” Remus asked pretending to be shocked
“Wait no- that's not- I didn’t-” Sirius struggled to correct what was said
Remus laughed at Sirius’s struggle
“Oh you asshole” Sirius pouted “I thought you weren't joking”
“I'm always joking” Remus smirked and leaned closer to him and Sirius's face went red
“Can you two stop flirting for 5 minutes please” Peter begged
“Flirting! We are not flirting!” Sirius said defensively
“Speak for yourself” Remus said “I’m always flirting”
“It's because you're a flirt Remus dear” Lily said
“I only flirt with people I wanna-” Remus started to say
“Nope! Do not finish that!” James cut him off
“Prude” Remus rolled his eyes
In class
“I can't handle anymore of Buckman’s Lecturing” Sirius groaned
“We haven't been in class for 5 minutes” Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius
“OK class I have made a list of partners no complaining or asking to switch” the Professor said already knowing what to expect from his students
Professor Buckman listed out all the partners and by the end, Remus, James, and Sirius were all with different people
“Alrighty everyone get into your pairs and then I will give you the assignment details” Buckman clapped his hands together as if it made them move faster
“What a coincidence that we were paired”
“Don't make this any more difficult than it has to be Rosier” James said sighing
“I won't” Evan smirked
After the class got instructions everyone began to work with their respective partners. Remus with Dorcas, Sirius with Maya Darawish, and James with Evan. This will be fun
“So we can outline what we need to research then after dinner we can go to the library to research it and finish writing the paper tomorrow during class” James said taking out a notebook to start with the outline
“Are you into men?” Evan asked ignoring what James just said
“No. Not that it matters in this context anyways” James said rolling his eyes why did everyone think he was into men
“It's just a question Potter” Evan shrugged “So who were you with?”
“What?” James asked confused by the question
“What guy were you with?” Evan explained
“I’ve never been with another guy” James said “I literally just said I’m straight”
“Wait so you decided you were straight without even being with another dude?” Evan asked genuinely concerned with the revelation
“I mean I've never wanted to kiss a guy so I never did” James said straight forward “Why does my sexuality even matter to you?” he asked
“It matters because I wanna know if I have a chance” Evan said leaning back in his seat and looking at James
“What?!” James asked shocked and wide-eyed
“I’m a slut who would do anything to climb a taller man” Evan said as though it was basic knowledge
“I- um” James stuttered his face growing hot “Let's get back to work”
“Aye aye captain,” Evan said pretending you salute him with a smirk
Later towards the end of class James and Evan were writing the outline in almost silence when suddenly someone was being scolded
“يا حمار اسمع شو أنا أقول لك (You donkey listen to what I'm telling you.)” Maya was shouting at Sirius in Arabic
“Vous voulez crier dans une autre langue, très bien ! Je peux le faire aussi(You wanna yell in a different language fine! I can do that too)” Sirius yelled back
James looked over to Evan who was laughing his ass off
“What's so funny” James asked Evan as Maya and Sirius were still yelling at each other
“You don’t understand French, do you potter?” Evan asked
“No I don't” James said hating the fact Evan was still laughing under his breath
“Mister Black! Miss Darawish! That is enough!” Professor Buckman yelled at the two “Detention for you both!”
“I still think it's absolutely ridiculous that we still get detention even in college” James muttered
“Tell me about it” Evan agreed
“Wait, you get detention?” James asked
“Not often but sometimes I get caught” Evan said starting to put away his things
“Caught? Doing what studying in the library after hours” James joked
“Very funny but no sometimes I forget a silencing charm” Evan says
“Why are you so loud while out after curfew?” James asked confused
“Oh your so innocent” Evan cooed “I get caught fucking people in classrooms, Potter”
“What?!” James asked his eyes wide
“Don't ask surprised pretty boy” Evan said lightly slapping James’s face and walking out of class as the bell rang
In the Great Hall during dinner
“Wait so you and Potter are meeting in the library?” Barty asked
“Yeah I plan on convincing him to sleep with me after so don't expect me till late” Evan said eating
“Do you even know if he's into guys?” Regulus asked
“He’s not” Evan shrugged
“Then why are you throwing yourself on him?” Barty asked a hint of annoyance in his voice
“I’m not throwing myself at him” Evan rolled his eyes
“You sort of are” Regulus agreed with Barty
“He's on my list” Evan shrugged
“So you wanna fuck the straight dude?” Dorcas asked
“No, I wanna turn him gay then fuck him” Evan said matter of factly
“Why don’t you just fuck someone who already wants to fuck you” Barty said annoyed as he got up getting up
“Where are you running off to” Pandora asked
“I just wanna get a head start on my homework” Barty grumbled as he left the great hall
“What’s up his ass?” Evan said rhetorically
“He hopes you” Dorcas murmured to Regulus and they both laughed quietly
In the library
“You’re late” Evan said not looking up from the project
“Dinner just ended” James said as he sat down
“But I’ve been here for 10 minutes” Evan said matter-factly
“So that makes me late?” James asked
“Yes it does” Evan said looking up from the parchment
“Ok then so let's get started” James said “or I'll just get started because you already have”
“Actually I think it's time for a little time break” Evan said closing his book
“But we haven't got anything done” James said moving his open book away from Evan who is trying to close it
“It's ok we can do it later” Evan said taking the book “Now I wanna do you”
“¡¿Qué?!(what)” James asked his eyes round and sort of scared
Evan leaned in and whispered slowly “I want to do you”
James leaned away from Evan “No gracias, n-no quiero(no thank you, I d-don't want to)”
Poor baby he is so confused
“I don't speak Spanish pretty boy” Evan whispered smirking “But I like that you're using your words”
A small sound of fear and embarrassment and although he wouldn’t admit it he was flushed
Was he enjoying it?
Maybe it's because Evan looks like his sister, Evelyn, or maybe… no James only likes girls
But he does want to make Lily Jealous, Maybe he can ask Evan if he can fake date his Sister
Yeah that's a good idea I mean Evan is only pushing his buttons
Right?
“Rosier” James says tentatively
“Yes Potter” Evan says Seductively
“Would your sister be interested in fake daring me?” James asked quickly
Evan pulled back sitting up straight “That's what you ask when I’m practically on top of you?”
“Yes?” James says practically as a question
“Well Panda is a lesbian so I doubt she would want to” Evan said still confused about how they got to that topic
“Not Pandora your other sister, Evelyn” James said like it was obvious
“Fuck you Potter” Evan said as he grabbed his stuff and started to leave
“What did I say?” James asked confused by this reaction
“Dont act so fucking oblivious” Evan hissed
“I genuinely don't know what I said wrong” James said with round eyes
“Everyone fucking knows Potter” Evan snapped before starting to walk away
James had no idea why Evan was so angry
Sure he hadn't seen Evelyn in a while but they probably just had different schedules
Or maybe she’s dead or something
OH shit she's probably dead and James is an oblivious piece of shit
“I’m really sorry Evan I genuinely didn't know that Evelyn is... Gone” James said quickly “I’m really sorry for bringing her up I know it must be hard losing a sister”
“Hold on” Evan said, putting his books back on the table “What do you think happened to Evelyn?”
“I’m not sure but I sort of assumed by your reaction that she died” James said tentatively
“Close but no” Evan chuckled
“Then what happened to her? If you don't mind the question” James asked
“Potter, I’m trans and my name used to be Evelyn” Evan said sitting down again
“WHAT?!” James looked flabbergasted “But how? When? Whaaat”
“I transitioned. I was born female and turned male” Evan explained like James was a toddler
“Oh” James said like he realized something
“Something transphobic better not come out of your mouth potter” Evan threatened
“No I would never” James said quickly like he was defending his honor “I just have a question”
“Think long and hard before you ask me so I don't slap you” Evan replied
“So do you as Evan wanna fake date me?” James asked tentatively
“I know I said I’m not gay but I really wanna make this girl I like jealous so she will date me and I feel like I might be a bit Bi but I don’t know and I really wanna date her so maybe but I don't want you to think that I am saying this just because your trans but because I think you would do it not that you have to but it's a suggestion” James said in one breath
“Sure” Evan replied calmly
“Sure? As in Yes?” James asked
“Yup” Evan said “but we need some rules”
And with that, the two boys made the fake dating rules
Rule #1: No Touching or kissing without consent
Rule #2: No telling anyone even Sirius
Rule #3: One Hogsmeade trip per friend group
Rule #4: When pretending to go to second base no cuddling
Rule #5: NO getting attached