Voltron Season 9

“Rhodonite is a planet composed mostly of forests,” Keith says, referring to a scan, “it has one major city, however most of our work will be in the planet’s wilderness. The Galra colonized their planet in search of a psychoactive drug for the pleasures of gladiator ring attendees. It is found in the roots of certain trees and when those roots were removed it destabilized some of the forest floor. After the occupation was evacuated the forest inhabitants fell victim to various rockslides and even some quakes. Today, the ground is stable, but the recovery has taken resources which is what our shipments are there to replenish.”

Lance sits at attention, watching Keith in his element, his blade uniform stretching around his biceps. Lance thinks he is partial to his old uniform rather than the one he wears now, which is the same as Kolivan’s, but Keith still pulls it off. He watches the rest of Keith’s presentation, trying to distract his prying mind from its anxiety. The mission itself is of course not particularly high stakes, he trusts Keith not to put him in danger, it’s the fact that if he makes a fool of him somehow on this mission it could change Keith’s opinion of him that is driving him mad. And he knows Keith isn’t fickle like that, and of course they’ve been through too much, but that doesn’t stop Lance’s brain from trying to convince him that he’s just one slip up away from Keith finding out what he’s known all along: he’s not good enough. 

Keith takes a seat next to him, Kosmo following at his feet, and he sits close making Lance tense up without meaning to. “What are you so nervous about?” Keith asks, “You’ve got this.” 

“I’m worried that I’ll mess up and then you won’t like me anymore,” he admits in an uncharacteristic instance of honesty. Keith tilts his head like he doesn’t understand, then bursts out laughing. 

“Lance,” he says, scolding.

“I know it’s ridiculous,” Lance says, “You’ve just put so much faith in me.”

“It is ridiculous,” Keith admits, “but I understand being nervous on your first mission back. Just know that I don’t expect you to be perfect, today is just a refresher, and I’ve got your back.”

Lance’s shoulders sag a little, feeling the weight of the world lifted. Keith had gotten so good with words in his time as the black paladin, and now he just always knows what to say. “Thanks,” Lance says in a small voice.

“Of course,” Keith says with a smile that makes Lance feel warm. 

When their ship lands on Rhodonite, the crew stands, and Lance takes a deep breath to ready himself. The ship’s ramp gives a mechanical whir as it lowers and daylight streams in. Just outside is a beautiful green forest with purple-trunked trees and air that almost seems to glimmer. He walks out with the team and sees the aliens waiting. They have pink skin and deer-like ears, and they are gathered around looking mildly frightened. He hears murmurs from the crowd and puts his translator in the ear not occupied by his hearing aid. He’s studied a few alien languages including Altean, the two main dialects of Diabazaal, and various Earth languages, but the language of the Rhodonians is lost on him. Not for the first time, he envies the ability of Altean brains to automatically translate new languages. “Are these the ones come to help us?” the Rhodonian murmurs say. 

His team immediately splits off to get to work unloading the supplies and pitching the aid tents, but Lance catches Keith’s arm. “What are you doing, shouldn’t we say something to these people?” he asks.

“They’re expecting us,” Keith says simply, giving Lance an affirming nod before splitting off with Kosmo at his heels and expecting Lance to follow. Lance looks around at the crowd, spotting a few children hiding behind their mothers. He supposes Allura or Shiro was usually the diplomat in these situations, or when it was Keith, it was usually after a nudge from Lance. Lance presses the button to translate his speech into the native dialect. 

“Hi,” Lance says now, “I’m Lance, former paladin of the red lion of Voltron.” The speaker on his helmet relays what he says as soon as he finishes. Around him he hears the familiar hopeful murmurs of, ‘Voltron?’ “This is my team,” he gestures over to the others unloading the cargo and finds Keith and his wolf both watching him intently. “We’ve brought you supplies. Is it alright with you if we pitch our tent here?” A few of them nod and Lance smiles thankfully before going to help unload the shipment. The aliens crowd in closer, watching them work, and Lance starts handing out blankets, food packs, and compartments of water or juniberry cider while Keith and Acxa pitch the tent, and the others finish unloading the shipment. A few children stay at his feet after he’s handed them their rations. 

“Tell us about Voltron,” one of the children demands, Lance snickers. He takes a seat on one of the unopened crates and corrals the children to the side of him so he can continue handing out supplies as he speaks. He narrates to them The Legend of Voltron, drawing on lines from their old shows to introduce the seven main characters. He tells the story of how they saved the universe from Honerva (while leaving out the parts about how close the battle had come) and the return of Altea and Diabazaal. By the time he’s nearing the end some adults have gathered around too and Zethrid is murmuring complaints about lack of efficiency. 

“These are the seeds of the Altean juniberry flower,” he says, handing a small pack to one of the kids.

“Juniberries!” one of the kids says excitedly. 

The children begin to scatter, entertaining themselves elsewhere, and just in time for most of their crates to have been emptied.

“The rest of the crates have been dispersed throughout this urgent need sector,” Vrek reports, “An infrastructure repair team has been requested and is scheduled to arrive in the following quintant.” 

“Thank you, Vrek,” Keith says. Lance gives the few remaining kids that surround him juniberry seeds and extra blankets, encouraging them to stop climbing on Kosmo’s back, and they run off.

“Do we need to visit any other parts of the planet?” Lance asks. 

“This is the only site on our list,” Keith says, “It’s the farthest from the city so it's the most difficult to transport aid to. However, we could stop by the capitol to drop off the damage assessments in person.”

“We don’t need to do that,” Zethrid points out.

“Do you guys just come in without introducing yourselves on all of your missions?” Lance asks.

“They figure it out eventually,” Zethrid says gruffly.

“Yup, then they always warm up to us,” Ezor adds. Lance looks over at Keith, eyebrows raised.

“We’ll… adjust,” he says, Lance nods and Zethrid sighs. 

Once they’re packed up they reboard the ship and Rentok pilots them back out of the trees. The flight to the city is longer than the flight to Rhodonite from Earth thanks to teludav technology, but the hull remains quiet for the first half of the journey as Keith finishes the damage assessment on his iPad. 

“So, what’s with the suit?” Agrona asks, breaking the silence. It takes Lance a moment to realize she’s talking to him. She’s the only one on Keith’s team that Lance can’t remember ever exchanging words with, and she’s certainly a bit intimidating. 

“Oh, this is Pidge’s work. They insisted on making a new suit full of high-tech gadgets,” Lance tells her.

“They didn’t even insist,” Keith interrupts, “They just made it without me asking and then forced it upon you.”

“They mean well,” Lance says fondly.

“You stick out like a sore thumb,” Agrona says, then, “it’s an Earth saying.”

“I know it’s an Earth saying,” Lance chuckles nervously. 

“We should spar sometime,” she says, “Keith speaks highly of you, and I’d like to see if his admiration is well placed.”

Admiration? The word rings in Lance’s head as he struggles to conjure a response. “Sure,” he says, Agrona nods. 

When their ship docks, they find themselves in a stunning white city not unlike Altea’s capitol. Lance is looking up at the pillars stretching into the sky by the city’s coastline when a hummingbird-like creature zooms by his ear, and he turns to watch its wings flutter as the little thing soars over the city. Kosmo chases after it for a moment, sniffing the air, and when Lance’s eyes follow him back to Keith, he finds the other watching him and blushes.

“You guys can explore the city while me and Acxa take these papers up to the capitol building,” Keith says.

“I can come with you,” Lance hurriedly insists.

“It’s alright, go have a look around,” Keith says, already walking off with Acxa and Kosmo. Lance pouts for a moment, having wanted to explore with Keith once they were finished dropping off the papers.

“Come with us, rookie,” Agrona says, waving him over to where she’s standing with Rentok and Vrek after Zethrid and Ezor have already wandered off hand in hand. 

“I’m not a rookie,” he mumbles, walking over to join them. 

The city is busy and full of nice shops. Being a port city, it seems to be a hub for interplanetary goods like the markets around the Garrison on Earth. Lance eyes the windows of jewelry stores and a few outdoor stalls with alien looking plants, some of which have eyes, but he nearly runs into Agrona’s back when she slows for the first time since entering the market. He follows her eyes to find his fellow blades eyeing a weapons dealer and sighs. Expecting the other blades to move on as they were already well endowed, Lance considers if he should stay back and go in to find something for Keith, even though Keith certainly doesn’t need a new knife either, maybe they have a knife keychain, he thinks. He shakes himself out of it realizing that he really shouldn’t be buying Keith anything– aaaand his companions were going in. 

He wanders the store while the others look at weapons, sheaths, and holsters, and notices that they also sell an array of gloves, bandages, and even some soothing creams. He couldn’t see Keith using anything on his calluses, but Lance certainly wouldn’t be opposed to a balm after a long training session with the ruthless Keith Kogane. He spares another look at the gloves, thinking of Keith’s old, tattered ones, and spots Vrek baring his teeth in a grin at Rentok as he slips a glove on the other blade's hand, color rising high on Rentok's cheekbones. Lance quickly looks away, picking out one of the balms and moves to the register. Sure enough, there is a collection of comically tiny knives awaiting him at the counter. He snickers and picks one out before paying. “You’re a strange man,” Agrona says, once his purchases are bagged.

They go to wander some more before Lance proposes he split off to go find Keith; Rentok declines, and his companions end up following Lance through the market towards the capitol building. “I cannot smell them amongst so many other people,” Rentok tells him apologetically when they don’t find Keith and Acxa outside the capitol.

“That’s alright,” Lance says, looking out from the bottom of the steps leading out from the capitol building at all of Keith’s possible routes. There’s nothing that catches his eye so he figures it’s safe to assume that the pair would take the shortest route back to the ship that went through the market. They would kill some time looking in shop windows and have less waiting to do when they arrived back at the ship. That path is the third to the right and Lance leads the four of them down it, eyes peeled for things that would catch Keith or Acxa’s attention. The bright colors on this route if anything would deter them so Lance keeps walking, looking in restaurant windows just in case one of them had gotten hungry. When they reach a fork in the path Lance spots a stand with stuffed animals and veers towards the hippopotamus displayed in the front.

“I thought we were just going back to the ship?” Agrona asks, following him regardless. Lance peers into the shop finding a basket of assorted Voltron paladin dolls at the register, and he doesn’t miss that a few of them have been signed. Lance swoops in quickly to grab one of each, knowing that these are probably the same kind Keith had been raving about seeing across the quadrant. After his purchase he hurries on, looking in every shop to try and spot his partner, and only a few shops down he finds Kosmo wagging his tail excitedly at the sight of Lance. “You stopped to sign dolls?” Lance asks, walking up behind Keith in a food stall and getting the other’s attention. “Do you know how cute that is?” he asks, Keith flushes.

“That’s what I said,” Acxa comments. Lance ignores the wave of jealousy that washes over him to continue poking at Keith. 

“You’re one to talk,” Keith tells him, “Did you buy one?” 

“I did, I also got something for you at a shop on the other side of the port,” Lance says, also choosing to ignore the cuteness accusation. Behind him Agrona and Vrek snicker, likely realizing what item he’s talking about.

“What is it?” Keith asks.

“You’ll have to find out when we get back to the ship,” Lance says. 

“How did you even find me?” Keith asks.

“He tracked you over here,” Agrona tells him.

“I don’t have a tracker on me,” Keith frowns.

“You’re just that predictable, Keefy~” Lance teases. He walks on ahead of Keith, leading the team forward and pulling Keith’s wrist. 

The group of them walk back to the ship leisurely, Lance and Keith standing close all the while, and they find Zethrid and Ezor already waiting for them and eating some kind of cold desert. They all climb aboard, and Lance pretends not to notice Keith trying to look in his bag. They sit down and when Keith sits close again, Lance scoots even closer until their thighs press together and they’re practically on top of one another; Keith goes a bit rigid. He files it away as payback for how infuriatingly attractive Keith was gunning it on his motorcycle with Lance’s arms wrapped tightly around his torso on the way to the Garrison. “Are you ready for this?” Lance asks him lowly.

“Yes?” Keith says, unconvincingly.

“Are you sure?” Lance asks with a smirk.

“Yes,” Keith says seriously. Lance’s smile widens and he pulls out the tiny knife, not even the length of Keith’s finger, and hands it to him. 

Keith stares at it, trying to process what the quiznack Lance had just handed to him, and Lance begins to hiccup with the laughter that he’s been trying to hold in. As Rentock takes off to leave the planet, Lance snickers with absolutely delighted laughter and doesn’t see Keith looking at him like he’s the sun that lights his world. 

The rest of the journey is the long part, traveling to the nearest planet or base with teludav technology, but Lance and the rest of the crew move together in harmony on the small ship. He sleeps surprisingly well at night, though he misses the castle’s artificial sunlight in the morning, and they reach the planet in question without issue in under 36 vargas. “So, what do you think?” Keith asks him, sitting across the cabin with his feet rested next to Lance’s lap with Lance mirroring his position.

“I missed this,” Lance admits.

“Fulfilling, isn’t it?” Keith asks, as if he’s been able to see right through Lance all along. 

“It is,” Lance confirms. 

When they dock back on Earth, they walk out together to greet their family that’s waiting for them. Hunk hugs Lance and insists he tell him everything , Pidge asks about the suit’s performance, Shiro asks him how he’s feeling, and Coran just pats him on the back and commends him for a job well done. On his way home it occurs to him that he should have gotten something for Nadia and Sylvio in Rhodonite’s markets and not just a gag for Keith, but the opportunity has passed. Lance has Keith drop him off a wase out from his house so that his family doesn’t mall him, though Keith insists he doesn’t mind. They dismount from his bike and Keith offers to walk him to his door (which entirely defeats the purpose of parking so far away, Keith ). Lance declines and they stand almost awkwardly for another moment before Lance can finally ask for what he wants. 

“Can I hug you?” he asks. Keith seems a little caught off guard and Lance scolds himself. He’s being too forward, Keith doesn’t like him like that, he reminds himself. All their closeness today was just Keith being kind and oblivious as usual. 

“Yeah,” Keith says, derailing Lance’s train of thought. 

The pair of them just stare at one another, because now they actually have to initiate the hug. Keith won’t do it for him because Lance is the one that asked, and Lance internally sarcastically commends himself for putting himself in this situation. When he eventually does decide to rip off the Band-Aid, he reaches up to wrap his arms around Keith’s shoulders, one hand cradling his head. Keith’s arms then automatically go to Lance’s waist, and he leans in a bit even though he’s still so tense. Lance adjusts his hold to be more comfortable and bring more of Keith’s weight onto him, and Keith goes where he moves him. Then, when Lance indulges himself by nuzzling his face in Keith’s hair, Keith finally seems to relax. 

It’s like all the tension leaves Keith’s body at once. His arms warp more snuggly around Lance’s waist and his head rests on Lance’s shoulder, stealing the red and blue paladin’s breath away. He makes no move to pull away, so Lance doesn’t either, and instead he starts moving his thumb back and forth where his hand rests on Keith’s shoulder. He wonders when the last time was that Keith was actually hugged this way. He wonders if Keith knows that this is something he can ask for. A few minutes pass before Lance steps away and he finds Keith looking a bit guilty. 

“Thank you,” Lance says, “I needed that.” 

Keith looks relieved when he says, “Anytime.” They’re so close Lance can see the violet specks in Keith’s eyes. 

“Come back soon,” he says, “I miss you when you’re away.”

“I’ll be back soon,” Keith agrees, and Lance smiles and starts on the path toward his house. 

***

The morning after his first mission back, Lance wakes to the smell of breakfast and he lays in bed staring at the ceiling replaying all of the moments he thinks could count as flirting from the days before. Flirting with Keith . He rolls over to smother a groan of agony in his pillow then gets up to head downstairs. 

He finds his mamá and papá along with Rachel and Marco already gathered at the counter and goes to join them. “Ronny vuelve a casa, (Ronny’s coming home,)” Marco informs him.

“¿Cuando? (When?)” Lance asks.

“Esta noche, (Tonight,)” his mother says excitedly, “Dice que tiene a alguien a quien conocer. (She says she has someone for us to meet.)”

“¿Lo hace? (She does?)” Lance asks.

“Mamá pensó que podrías saber quién es, ya que eres tú quien más la ha visto últimamente, (Mamá thought you might know who it is, since you’re the one who’s seen her the most lately,)” Rachel says. Lance thinks. Maybe this was the reason she hadn’t been making eyes at Keith lately, and if that’s the case he’s thankful for this person. But, as for who it could be, he was at a loss. The only other person Veronica seemed to have eyes for was Acxa and he didn’t think they’d figured that out yet. If they had, Veronica still wouldn’t bring another girl home… unless she would. If that were the case Veronica would be coming out to their family tonight, which could either go well or very very poorly. Lance clears his throat, realizing he’d been silent for too long, and they were all still waiting for an answer. “ No, no tengo ni idea, ( Nope, I have no idea, )” Lance says. Their mother hums dismissively but Rachel eyes him with suspicion, only thankfully seeming to drop it after properly petrifying him with a prolonged cold stare. 

It’s not that the Mcclains were opposed to queer people, it’s just that they generally remained… uncomfortable with them. When Lance was young, he had always been spoken about as a lady’s man, and he’d heard his parents speak disparagingly about gay people in the context of religion. So, when he realized he also liked boys around the age of 13, he may have begun to overcompensate a bit in the lady’s man department. More recently, his mother had repealed her words about queer couples when their family had attended Shiro and Adam’s wedding, however Nadia and Sylvio had not been allowed to attend the wedding by both their parents and their grandparents because ‘the children don’t need to see that’ and ‘it would be too confusing’. All of this considered, it was unlikely that there wouldn’t be at least an awkward silence and some pained looks if one of his siblings (or himself) came out as anything other than straight, especially if they brought an alien home. While Lance is glad to say he doesn’t think his parents will outright oppose one of them dating someone of the same gender, he doesn’t see himself coming out at home anytime soon. 

“Ok, spill,” Rachel demands when Lance is outside feeding the cows later in the morning. 

“¿Qué quieres decir ‘spill’? (What do you mean spill?)” Lance asks with feigned incompetence.

“Sabes a lo que me refiero, te pusiste pálido cuando le preguntamos a quién iba a traer Ronny esta noche, (You know what I mean, you got all pale when we asked who Ronny’s bringing with her tonight,)” she says, “¿Es Keith? (Is it Keith?)”

“NO!” Lance practically roars, startling Kaltenecker from where he’d been petting him.

“Okey okey, Cielos, (Okey okey, geez,)” Rachel huffs, “ Entonces, ¿cuál es tu problema? (Then what’s your deal?)” 

Lance eyes her as if enough starring will reveal any homophobic views she may possess. Lance’s own views had been melded by years in space on countless planets that clearly didn’t share the same reserves as those on Earth, a gay space dad, an agender tech gremlin, two pansexual best friends, a gay Keith, and a very supportive and queer space uncle. All this to say, his gay positive second family had a big effect on his mindset and his acceptance of his own sexuality, even if he hasn’t explicitly told them yet, and Rachel hasn’t had that. With that on top of their near decade apart in their youth, Lance really can’t say with confidence where she stands. 

“Creo que sé quién es, (I think I know who it is,)” he says.

“¿Okaaaaay?” Rachel says back, prompting.

“No te lo puedo decir; no le voy a quitar eso a Verónica, (I can’t tell you; I’m not going to take that from Veronica,)” he tells her. She looks at him strangely again.

“Vamos, solo dime. Prometo que todavía actuaré sorprendido, (Come on, just tell me. I promise I’ll still act surprised,)” she insists.

“Rachel,” he says in a serious tone, “En serio. (I mean it.)” 

She frowns. “¿Qué, se van a casar o algo así? (What, are they getting married or something? )” 

“No creo, (I don’t think so,)” he says, going back to his task.

“Multa, lo que sea, (Fine, be that way,)” she pouts, turning to walk away.

“Solo tendrás que esperar unas horas más, (You’ll only have to wait a few more hours,)” he points out.

“Ya ya, más vale que valga la pena, (Ya ya, he better be worth it,)” she says, Lance’s stomach sinks. 

When the doorbell rings that night Lance is setting the last plate of food out on the table. Their mamá went all out since Veronica hasn’t been home in months, and she’s anxiously awaiting their first romantic guest since… well since Allura. His father is the one to answer the door, then Marco walks downstairs while Rachel Nadia and Sylvio rush from the living room. Lance joins them in the entryway and, sure enough, standing on the other side of the threshold is his sister with Acxa at her side. Everyone seems confused for a second and Lance wonders what he should do. “Oh mija, when you said you were bringing a guest, we thought you meant a boyfriend,” their mother laughs, going in to hug her. Lance wants to go up there too and hold her, hide her away from their family’s judgmental gaze, but he knows that this was her decision. Rachel seems to be disappointed until she sees Lance’s pitying frown and her expression shifts to one of trepidation. 

Luis and Lisa come out of the kitchen, and they all move towards the table. Veronica and Acxa are sat across from Luis and Lisa with Lance to their right and their parents at either end of the table. Rachel, who is usually stuck at the kids table with Nadia and Sylvio, pulls up a chair to Lance’s right. “I wondered why you were being so weird earlier,” she murmurs. 

“Acxa,” their mother says, “I’m so glad to see you again, I hear you’ve been doing good work with Keith.”

“Yes, he’s a good friend and a great leader,” Acxa says.

“Unfortunately, we didn’t get to see him yesterday after he dropped Lance off at home,” his mamá comments, giving Lance a look that says if you pull that again there will be consequences. Lance nods his understanding.

“The mission went well, Lance’s contributions were impressive,” Acxa says. 

“Enough about Lance,” Rachel interrupts, “why don’t you tell us how you two have gotten so close.”

Veronica chuckles nervously, taking a sip of her drink. “Veronica welcomed me into her team back on the Atlas when I was still isolating myself. She was a great friend and ally and I’m grateful that our relationship has endured in recent years,” Acxa says. 

“Well, that’s good to hear,” their papá says, looking at Veronica proudly.

“Speaking of which,” Veronica speaks up, “Our relationship has grown to be more than just a friendship, Acxa is my girlfriend,” she announces. 

The clanking of silverware quiets and Luis and Lisa look between Veronica and their children a bit frantically. “Oh,” their mamá says, recovering from her momentary freeze.

“I’m bisexual,” Veronica tells her.

“And you are as well?” their mamá asks Acxa, more rhetorically than anything. 

“I’m a lesbian,” Acxa corrects. Their mamá flinches a bit at the word and the silence stretches on. When it’s clear they are at a loss of what to say Lance reaches out to squeeze Veronica’s hand.

“Congratulations,” he tells her, she smiles and nods her thanks. The rest of the table hums in agreement, starting to eat again.

“Congrats,” Rachel says, leaning in front of Lance so Veronica can see her.

“Thank you,” she says gratefully. 

Only a few minutes later the table conversation turns back to Keith and Lance wonders if they know that he’s about as straight as boiled spaghetti. Keith this Keith that and Lance finds that this may be one of the few instances where he doesn’t want to rave about the other man, the only other situation he can think of being when people ask him for advice on how to ask Keith out. One time in their last year with the lions, Lance told a guy to tell Keith how much he likes exotic cheese and ask him out for milkshakes, knowing full well that Keith is lactose intolerant. And he’s proud of that. 

“You know Acxa is also a chemist, she worked with the Garrison tech staff on new designs for the blade recently,” Veronica mentions. 

“Wow,” Lisa says.

“What kind of new designs?” Rachel asks, and when she gets Acxa talking the woman goes on robotically about the details of the job for nearly the whole remainder of the meal. At the end of the night Luis and Lisa take their kids upstairs after a brief goodbye and everyone else hugs Veronica in the doorway. 

“You sure you don’t want to stay the night?” their mamá asks.

“That’s ok,” Veronica insists without elaborating. The pair of them walk out the door and their parents go to start cleaning up. It only takes a moment for Lance to be out the door after them. 

“Ronny,” he calls, and when she turns around Lance wraps her in a tight hug. She lets him and wraps her arms around his shoulders. “Are you ok?” he asks quietly. It takes her a moment to answer.

“Ya, I’m ok,” she says, “Just feeling a bit drained.” He pulls away to look her in the eyes and recognizes the smile on her face as fake from practicing his own fake smile in the mirror so many times before. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, “about them.”

“Lance, you don’t have to apologize–”

“Someone should,” he says, “and if there’s anything I can do to… mediate, just tell me. Just know that I’m always here to support you.”

“I know,” Veronica says, brushing and hand over his face. 

“Do you really have a place to stay? It’s late,” he says as she’s turning to leave.

“We got a hotel,” Acxa tells him. Lance nods, letting them go. 

***

The Garrison is busy on Tuesday morning when Lance comes in. Three days since Veronica brought Acxa for dinner and Lance hasn’t heard another word about it around the house. He can’t decide whether that’s good or bad, but he knows who he needs to talk to in order to sort these thoughts out.

“Lance?”

Lance turns around to see Keith holding a massive stack of papers followed by Krolia. Kosmo wags his tail when he sees him. “I didn’t know you’d be coming by, just give me a second and I’ll–”

“I’m just looking for Shiro actually,” Lance says, “Have you seen him recently?”

“Oh, um… I think he’s at home today.”

“Right,” Lance says, trying to plan his next steps.

“He lives not far from here, just let me finish up with these and I’ll take you over there,” Keith offers.

“I don’t know, that sounds like a bother–”

“I’ll do the bothering,” Keith says, “you just tag along.”

“Alright,” Lance agrees, smiling at the man in front of him and unwilling to admit how relieved he is to see him. 

“This shouldn’t take long,” Krolia assures him, Lance nods.

“I’ll just go pester Pidge while you finish up.”

Keith comes to get him a few hours later when Pidge is about to lose their mind from Lance’s nagging and intentionally stupid questions. “Sorry that took so long,” he says. He’s in his leather jacket but his hair is down, and Lance thinks this might be a good way to die. Then, Keith gathers up his raven locks to tie them back into a ponytail and Lance is certain he’s done for. 

“Did you ever change your shampoo like I told you to?” Lance asks, observing the other man’s split ends. Keith looks nervous, which means no, but it’s adorable while he’s still holding his hair tie in his mouth so Lance just sighs. 

“Alright. Bye, Pigeon. Don’t miss me too much.”

“I won’t,” Pidge assures him. 

The pair of them walk out to the parking lot and when Keith mounts his bike Lance gets on after him, trying his damnedest not to let the proximity get to him yet again. They ride to Shiro’s house in silence as the wind whips around them, and when they arrive Lance takes an extra moment to detach himself from the other man. 

Keith knocks on the door and Lance picks that moment to be the one where he has second thoughts, but it’s obviously too late as Shiro comes to open the door. “Keith?” he says, “and Lance. Is everything ok?”

“Ya, we’ve just come to bother you,” Lance assures him.

“Lance wanted to talk to you,” Keith says traitorously, walking right past Shiro to go inside without invitation. Lance frowns at him. 

“Ignore him, he knows nothing,” Lance says, “As I was going to say… I really need your advice.” 

“Okay,” Shiro says, smiling calmly and stepping out of the way to invite Lance inside. Lance makes his way into the house to the living room. The place is as clean as the few other times Lance has seen it, only a few books and papers strewn about, and Lance takes a seat in one of the chairs just in time for Keith to come back from getting water. “So, tell me what’s bothering you,” Shiro says in his space dad tone. 

“I guess… this isn’t really mine to tell people about, so you can’t say anything to anyone,” Lance says, “But I just, really don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Okay, do you need Keith to leave?” Shiro asks. Lance considers Keith who is standing stock still in the middle of the room, on his way to give Lance a glass of water.

“I mean… he won’t tell anyone,” Lance decides, before a lightbulb flicks on in Lance’s head, “Unless he already knows.” Lance squints suspiciously at a very confused looking Keith. 

“Umm,” Keith says.

“Did you know that Acxa is dating Veronica?” he questions.

“As in your sister Veronica?” Keith asks. Okay, so that’s a no.  

“Yes,” he turns back to Shiro, “and I just found out when she told my whole family.” 

Shiro tilts his head like he doesn’t see the problem. “Okay,” he prompts gently. 

“And it’s just that… Well–” Lance buries his face in his hands, hating to bring this outside of his home, “my family is homophobic.” He winces at the use of the word and he can see the issue click with both Shiro and Keith. “I don’t know how to mediate,” Lance says, “I don’t want to try and stick up for her and just end up making things worse, but there’s only so much telling her I’m there for her can do.” 

Shiro looks at him like he’s a small child, and while if it were anyone else he’d be offended, now he’s just relieved because it means that Shiro knows exactly what to do. “I think you underestimate the significance of the acceptance you’ve given her,” he says, “and I would encourage you to trust your own judgment in those situations where you may want to intervene, you know your family best.” Lance huffs because that wasn’t what he was hoping to hear. It certainly doesn’t give him hope for his own hypothetical coming out, but he supposes that’s nothing urgent. 

“So, I just have to wait around and hope they’ll understand someday?” he murmurs. 

“Unfortunately, that’s sometimes how this goes when it’s family;” Shiro tells him, “though you could try talking to them about it, help to teach them about the queer community. I could even give you some pointers if you’d like.” No offense to Shiro, but Lance thinks he probably knows more LGBTQ+ terminology than almost anyone else in his life from trying to figure out his own identity. He accepts Shiro’s offer anyhow and finds that he does of course have some helpful pointers, though he encourages Lance to make the judgments on what he says in consideration of his own specific situation. He also encourages Lance to talk to Veronica because he's “not the one that will be most affected by this”. 

Shiro hugs him before he leaves and tells him he’s a good brother, which almost makes him cry. By the time they’re leaving, it’s too late for Lance to make the full 5-hour drive home so Keith offers for Lance to stay at his place. Lance realizes he’s never actually been to Keith’s apartment, but he supposes there’s no time like the present. “You can have the bed if you want and I can sleep on the couch,” he offers, which Lance thinks is very Keith of him. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’m not taking your bed!”

Keith brings them to a modest looking apartment building and parks his bike out front, then leads them up a few flights of stairs to his door. When he opens it Kosmo comes bounding out to greet them, having been dropped off by Krolia when Keith and Lance were at Shiro’s. “Hello,” Lance says in a high-pitched voice, “oh, does Keith need to get a car to accommodate you? I’m sure Shiro would have liked to see you.”

“He doesn’t even fit in a car anymore,” Keith points out, “besides that tank of a car Krolia owns. She usually drops us at home after missions, but I prefer to take my bike when I can.” Lance hums, finally looking up at the apartment ahead of them as Keith switches on the lights. The place is even more baron than his old room in the castle now that there's more space for him not to fill, the walls are painted a shade darker and it’s somehow colder inside than it is in the open air. 

“It’s just for between missions,” Keith says when he notices Lance’s judgmental stare. 

“Still, would it kill you to put up some posters?” 

“You mean like that old poster you have of Shiro?” Keith teases/deflects. 

“That isn’t even up anymore, okay! When will you let that go?” Lance whines, “He was my idol!”

“Whatever you say,” Keith agrees unseriously. 

Lance walks through the doorway, seeing the living room with nothing but a couch and the kitchen with takeout containers at the bar. “It’s an upgrade from the shack,” he admits.

“That was the idea,” Keith says, returning from the room that must be his bedroom with some clothes. “You can wear these,” he offers, “we can order in?” 

Lance blushes, taking the clothes, but then processes what Keith said and looks back at the containers in the kitchen. “When was the last time you had a home cooked meal?” he asks.

“The last time your mother made me one,” Keith admits plainly and Lance’s heart squeezes.

“You don’t cook?” 

Keith raises a thick eyebrow at him, “You know I can’t cook.” Lance shrugs.

“If I ever have to come over here after missions, we’re getting groceries and I’m cooking,” he decides boldly, quickly passing Keith to hide the flush rising higher on his cheeks. Keith looks a bit taken aback, stumbling over his words when he agrees.

Lance looks over the clothes Keith gave him, mentally preparing himself before slipping on the pair of black sweatpants that are a bit loose around his waist. He pulls the string tight, then dawns the intentionally oversized white t-shirt. He’s disappointed to find that the clothes don’t smell like Keith, because of course they’re clean, but when he looks at himself in the mirror he still blushes at his plain attire because he’s wearing Keith’s clothes .

When he returns from the bathroom, Keith has changed into sweatpants and pulled up a menu for a Thai place nearby. After ordering the pair of them sit on the couch, bickering coming easily between them. “I’m just saying, you can’t expect me to drive all the way home if we need to make a stop at the Garrison,” Lance defends after Keith playfully accuses him of infringing on his space. 

“I know,” Keith sighs, his fond expression betraying his tone. “I can put up your old Shiro poster if it will make you feel better, I’m sure he’d get a kick out of it.” Lance laughs harder than he has in a while.

“What do you have against decorating, seriously?” Lance asks, his laughter calming down.

“I guess I’m just used to keeping what I have with me, not getting too attached to any space. Because of my job, and the war obviously, but also foster care before that,” Keith discloses.

“Yeah?” Lance says softly, “You don’t talk about that much.”

“It wasn’t pretty,” Keith says, “I didn’t end up in good homes.”

“I’m sorry,” Lance says, “You deserve better than that.”

“But when Shiro found out what they were doing, beating me, that is, he and Adam took me in. Even then, I didn’t get too long to settle in before Shiro left, and now, I think after traveling so much with work for so long I’ve learned to find my home in people.”

“I want you to know,” Lance says, “that you’re always welcome in my home.” Keith smiles. “And I know what I told Shiro about the way my family reacted to Veronica, but I promise you’ll always be safe–”

“Lance, I know,” Keith says.

“You do?”

“Of course I do. I’m not going to stop coming to visit.”

“They just, they don’t understand, and they don’t want the kids to see…” he says, while taking in Keith’s silent promise not to think any less of his loved ones for their recent mistakes.

“Are you doing ok after everything that happened?” Keith asks. Lance looks up, surprised at Keith’s question, to find him with slightly squinted eyes and a furrowed brow. It’s his mildly appraising look, and Lance is sure Keith doesn’t even know he’s doing it, but Lance feels… seen through. 

“I’m fine,” he says, “just upset is all.” Keith nods, drawing back on his piercing gaze. 

It’s not long after that when their food arrives. Keith and Lance put on a movie on Keith’s laptop while they eat their coconut curry, and they have an excuse to sit close together so they can each see the small screen. Lance’s head is in the clouds for most of the film, thinking about home. In Cuba, in the US, in the Castle of Lions, and in people, in Keith .

When the movie ends, Keith brings him a pillow and blanket from his own bed because his house is void of extra anything, clearly not made for more than one person. Lance puts his hearing aid in his portable case and wraps himself up in the covers. “Goodnight,” he says quietly once the lights are off. Lance shudders at the sound of his deep voice in the dark.

“Goodnight,” Lance says back, and Keith’s bedroom door closes, leaving Lance in the night’s silence. 

Are you doing ok after everything that happened? Keith’s voice rings through his head along with those piercing eyes. He hasn’t thought about it really. Maybe he’d laughed to himself that all the others didn’t know that he’s part of the club, that his family didn’t suspect, Shiro didn’t see. Did Keith see? Had Lance gotten too close lately after being so happy to have Keith’s attention again and be back out there in the stars doing something meaningful; had he let moments of happiness trick him into getting carried away? 

When Lance first met Keith, he’d been immediately enamored. He was this bold but mysterious kid that always made his place at the top of the class in a way that seemed so effortless. So Lance, who had never had trouble making friends, approached him with an easy smile and wave only to get ignored completely, making Lance feel ashamed of his enthusiasm. Lance tried to just ignore him right back for a while, and when that seemed to be impossible because his admiration just remained too strong, he did the only other thing he could do: dub Keith as his rival. He worked harder and studied longer to catch up and impress Keith who he imagined was watching, and if he wasn’t watching, well then, he would be . And then came the infamous day that Hunk nervously pointed out that what he was doing wasn’t exactly… normal.

That word wormed its way into Lance’s mind and he turned it over and over again, examining it and wondering what it could possibly be, comparing it to all of his other relationships until he found something similar. 

“Do you have a crush on him or something?” one of the girls in his math class giggled, and Lance’s stomach sank. He played it off of course, but in his head, he was thinking of Rose, a girl he had liked in elementary school. He’d thought of her as much as he thought of Keith, if he hadn’t thought of Keith more, he’d admired her and spoke about her constantly, he’d LIKED her. But Keith was a boy. He furiously searched for what that meant in the dark of his room while Hunk snored above him and to his dread it was exactly what his mamá had warned him about. What did that say about him? Ultimately, he decided that if he didn’t say it out loud it didn’t even have to be real. If he saw Keith’s awful haircut in a new light now, no one had to know, and if he found solace in the rumors about his idol Takashi Shirogane being engaged to another man then he didn’t have to share that part of his admiration either.  

When Keith got kicked out and left him at the Garrison alone, Lance was half grateful and mostly angry (hurt). He let his grades slip and goofed off more than he should have, he stared at his walls at night instead of sleeping. Then, the universe brought Keith back to him and the asshole didn’t even have the decency to remember who Lance was. From taking out his frustrations on the other paladin, to really getting to know him and begrudgingly forming a partnership, to genuinely enjoying their bickering because it meant Keith’s attention was on him, Lance fell . Then, finally he felt had found his place as the red paladin, his place as Keith’s right hand. 

But Keith left him again. It hurt. He’d drawn back into himself, never letting anyone see how much pain he was in and how much he hated himself. He told Keith. That night in the garden at Hunk’s party. He’d shown Keith what he didn’t let the others see and let him know just how much it meant to him that he’d come back, and then when Lance had started to drift again Keith came back again . Would it be ok if Keith knew the rest? If he saw all the other pieces that don’t fit the persona that he puts on to protect himself. Would Keith let go of the rest of his own reservations if Lance met him there in the middle? 

He could hope, especially after ‘everything that happened’. Dinner with Veronica and Acxa felt like a wakeup call NOT to let his guard down, and yet here he is considering letting Keith be the exception like always, letting Keith become as much of a home as any family home he’d ever lived in. Lance thinks again, about all the reasons he’s kept this in for so long. It was always more than the internalized homophobia that had begun to dissolve long ago. This whole night that he’s been here nothing remotely suggestive has happened besides what has been in his own head, they’ve just been two friends hanging out. What if these feelings caused him to lose Keith for good this time? Keith, the orphaned boy with no friends, that went along with Lance's petty bickering, that’s so smart yet so dumb, that’s blatantly honest, that never thinks about his own safety, the kind, cluelessly gorgeous boy that actually does work so hard. Lance doesn’t think he’ll ever be good enough, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever recover when Keith leaves him for that final time. 

He’ll be okay not coming out to anyone, there wouldn’t be much of a point anyway considering Keith will be the only boy he ever loves. He’ll be fine being there for Veronica and his family like he’s always there for everyone when they need him. He doesn’t need to ever tell a soul, but the pieces of himself that he hides will gradually slip through the cracks when he can’t help but let his guard down in front of Keith, and he’ll be content to watch as Keith slowly picks him apart, unraveling him until his center is exposed, until he’s left open for only Keith to see. 

Lance wakes up in the morning to the smell of coffee and Keith gracelessly lumbering around the kitchen. “What time is it?” he groans, “I work on a farm and this still feels too early.”

“You were never a morning person,” Keith says unapologetically. 

“I’ve gotten better,” Lance defends. He sits up and stretches, hearing the sound of an egg cracking from the kitchen.

“Don’t try to cook something,” Lance says, “I’ve got it.”

“Too late, there are already shells in the eggs,” Keith tells him, Lance groans. When he arrives in the kitchen, he sees that Keith had cracked the egg directly over a hot pan. 

“What the quiznack, Keith? You’re eating that one, don't crack anymore.” Keith is looking down at it like he’s disappointed in the egg for what he’s done to it and nods his agreement. 

Lance shows Keith how to make eggs, scrambling and seasoning it with the only three things in Keith’s cabinet. “I’m surprised you even have Italian seasoning,” Lance comments. And when he’s done Keith assures him that he’ll still find a way to mess it up even if he follows Lance’s process. 

“Are you going to drive home or do you want me to take you?” Keith asks when they’re sitting on Keith’s couch because he only has one chair at his dining table. 

“Are you going to drive me home on your motorcycle?” Lance laughs with egg in his mouth. 

“If you want,” Keith says seriously, “but you’d have to leave your car at the Garrison.”

“I’ll drive home,” Lance says, “But you’ll bring me on another mission soon, right? So, I’ll be seeing you.”

“Right,” Keith says, sitting up straighter. A thoughtful look crosses his face and Lance hopes it’s because he’s planning their next mission.

When they finish breakfast Lance changes into his clothes from the day before and says goodbye to Kosmo. Keith drops him off back at his car at the Garrison and they talk with his driver’s side door half open for a long time, stalling their goodbye. “See you later, greñas,” Lance says finally, getting into his car.

“What does that mean?” Keith questions. Lance just laughs, closing his car door. Keith asks again but it's muffled and Lance just waves him off, receiving an unimpressed look in response. 

***

Keith: What does greñas mean?

Hunk: Like someone thats disheveled or has messy hair

Keith: Uuhhhhhhggg

Hunk: Did Lance call you that?

Hunk: lol

Keith walks into the Garrison, he feels bad leaving Kosmo alone for long, but figures he may as well grab some paperwork to get done while he’s here. He stuffs his phone in his pocket and heads for his office. 

Once he has a stack of reports under his arm he efficiently makes for the exit, only to be stopped by Matt clamoring by and, unfortunately, spotting him. “Keeeeith,” he says, “hey buddie, you wouldn’t mind helping me out with some of these?” He gestures to the crates full of seemingly random mechanical parts he’s barely supporting. Without waiting for Keith’s response, he drops one into Keith’s arms and starts walking, clearly expecting Keith to follow behind him. Keith sighs, Holts, he thinks. Then, readjusting the crate now in his arms, and trails behind him. 

When they arrive at the lab Keith puts down his box where Matt asks and receives a thank you, preparing to go on his way before– “Keith!” Pidge calls, “Come here for a second.” Keith walks over, finding Pidge at their desk and raises an eyebrow in question. “You’ve been hanging around Lance a lot lately, haven’t you?” they ask. Keith blinks, aligning his thoughts to the conversation he was certainly not expecting. 

“Yes?” he says.

“Right, what’s that about?” Pidge prods. 

“I don’t know, I just…” Keith thinks back to Lance not eating, to the other’s not realizing when he wasn’t acting like himself, when he was hiding away and cutting them off, and to their conversation in the garden in the Dalterion belt. “We’re working together now.”

“And how did that happen?”

Keith thinks about making Lance smile as he learned to wield a sword, and about falling asleep with Lance after watching a movie and Mrs. Mcclain making him breakfast in the morning. “We got to talking at Hunk’s birthday party in January and I thought to make him the offer,” he says half honestly. Pidge narrows their eyes at him.

“Suspicious,” they say.

“What? It is not!”

“It’s definitely strange,” another voice says. Pidge turns their tablet around to reveal that they’ve been on a video call with Hunk this whole time.

“What the fuck?” Keith says.

“Language,” Pidge says smoothly.

“It just seems like you’ve been seeing each other a lot lately,” Hunk says, “Like more than I see him actually,” he mutters. Seeing each other, Keith’s traitorous brain repeats.

“So what?” Keith asks, more defensive than he’d meant for it to come off as. Pidge looks at him like it’s proof of whatever they’re accusing. 

“So ,” Hunk says, “I’m just wondering if when you’re driving 5 hours to see him your head’s in the right place?” 

The question stings more than it should, and it must show on Keith’s face because Hunk looks a bit guilty. “We’re just looking out for you,” Pidge says, “you know how Lance is.”

“And how’s that?” Keith asks, genuinely at a loss for what they’re referring to. 

“He’s just been fragile since we lost Allura,” Hunk says, “I don’t want either of you getting hurt.” Keith feels his stomach sink at that, Allura may not have been the lover to Lance that they all thought she was, but at the end she was still his closest friend. But could Keith liking– who was he kidding, loving – Lance really hurt him? 

“I just think you should talk to Shiro,” Hunk says. Keith turns to leave.

“Keith, don’t be emo you know we love you,” Pidge says. Keith waves them off.

When he returns to his empty apartment it feels bleaker than it had two days before. 

***

Their next mission is on a small water planet that was colonized as a part of a larger solar system. The main city is just off the shore, and the capitol building they’re visiting for a diplomatic party is vast and bright. Keith watches Lance shine as he moves through the water with ease, socializing with the party guests before swooping in on Keith’s conversation with the queen to secure their leader’s agreement to join the coalition. On the way back to Earth Keith finds that, unsurprisingly, Lance has already charmed all of the people on his team (except maybe Zethrid) and the hull is louder than ever as Agrona and Vrek’s laughter echoes through the recycled air. 

They land at the dock near Lance’s home and take Keith’s bike to his house. He walks Lance up to the house, only to be bowled over by Nadia and Sylvio as soon as the door opens. “Keith,” Lance’s mother greets, coming up to hug him.

“No le gustan los abrazos, mamá, (He doesn’t like hugs mamá,)” Lance tells her in words that are lost on Keith.

“Oh nonsense,” his mother says in response and wraps her arms around him. “Will you be staying for dinner?” she asks once she pulls away.

“Unfortunately, the rest of the crew is waiting back at my ship,” Keith says, and she gives him a disappointed look.

“He won’t have any way to get home, mamá,” Lance tells her.

“But I can drop them off at the Garrison first next time,” he offers.

“Oh, alright,” she concedes, though Nadia and Sylvio are still pouting. Lance tries to move them all inside, and when he finally succeeds, he turns back to Keith. 

“You really do need to stay for dinner next time,” Lance says.

“I will,” he agrees, “Though our next mission might be a bit more intensive.”

“Hmm… Well, I could always stay the night on your couch again and you could drive us back for lunch or dinner the next day,” he suggests. Keith blushes. He definitely needs to talk to Shiro, he’s been putting it off. 

“Ya,” he says simply.

“Ok, have a safe trip back,” Lance says, and he closes the door on him abruptly leaving Keith to walk back to his bike.

***

The next day, instead of going to talk to Shiro, Keith goes shopping. He buys some extra blankets and pillows and orders another chair for his kitchen table. No posters or decorations of any kind, nothing so obviously to please Lance. It’s all for convenience, he reasons. He figures he may as well get some food while he’s at it and stops by a grocery store for high protein foods, frozen meals, and all the other necessities. When he and Kosmo pass by the baking aisle with its shelves full of spices, they stop. Keith backs up, unknowingly blocking the entire path with his giant space wolf, and enters the aisle. He takes out his phone and, before he can think about what he’s doing, he dials Hunk. After the second ring Keith finds himself hoping that he won’t pick up, he’s probably working anyway. 

“Hello?” Hunk’s voice says through the speaker, Keith curses himself internally. 

“Hi… I had a question. What are some good… spices… and stuff?” 

“Spices and stuff?” Hunk asks.

“To have, like in my apartment. All I have is like salt and pepper and Italian seasoning.”

“What?!” Hunk yells through the phone, sounding scandalized.

“I don’t do a lot of cooking,” he says, “But I’m at the store now and I saw all the different stuff they have, so I was just wondering if you have any suggestions.”

“Keith, how have you survived this long without me providing you with your every meal?” Hunk asks, Keith snickers. “Okay, let's start simple with chilis, bay leaves, garlic–” and by the time he’s finished Keith has a basket full of different seasonings and aromatics along with a promise from Hunk to provide him with all of the things his local grocery store doesn’t offer. Keith will have to find a place to hide the majority of these so that Lance won’t laugh at him. 

After returning from his shopping, he realizes he REALLY should talk to Shiro. 

Shiro opens the door shortly after Keith knocks, and he looks like he just got back from an Atlas mission. “Keith,” he says, “we weren’t expecting you.”

“I need to talk to you,” Keith says, looking frantic, and immediately Shiro ushers him inside, only sparing a moment for Kosmo who is very happy to see him. Adam is in the kitchen, and he greets them. 

“Keith, is everything alright?” Adam asks.

“Fine,” Keith lies, clearly not fooling his former guardian. “Has Shiro told you about… Lance?” he asks vaguely.

“I’ve met him,” Adam answers, his eyebrows scrunching in confusion.

“Oh boy,” Shiro says, taking a seat on the couch. Keith and Adam follow him and Kosmo lays at Keith’s feet after he’s plopped down in a chair across from Adam and Shiro. 

“Alright, what is it you wanted to tell me?” Shiro asks.

“I’m–” Keith tries before stopping himself and starting again, “I’m in love with Lance.” 

Shiro nods sagely while Adam’s eyes widen slightly, now understanding what Keith was asking before. “You’ve told me,” Shiro reminds him, and Keith frowns.

“Still , I mean. I’m still in love with him,” Keith corrects.

“I see,” Shiro says, “Are you hoping to get over it?”

“No.” Keith shakes his head like the idea is preposterous.

“Then… you’re struggling to cope?”

“No. Just– I’m here because Pidge and Hunk noticed that Lance and I have been spending more time together and they’re concerned that… I don’t know, that I’ll fuck it up somehow because I’m gay for him.”

Shiro just stares at him for a moment like he needs time to work through what Keith just said, and Adam seems to be sitting this one out for now because he clearly has some catching up to do with the family drama. “Do you think that?” Shiro asks.

“I didn’t until I realized that you all seem to think that I will,” Keith confesses. 

“I never said that.”

“Then what was that question for?!”

“I’m trying to gauge the situation; I wasn’t even aware that you’d been seeing each other so often. Is this just because of work or is it outside of that?”

“It’s outside of that; I started going to visit him more since he came to welcome me home after my long mission last October.”

“Well then it has been a while,” Shiro says, stating the obvious. “And how is it?” he asks.

“Being with Lance?” Keith asks, Shiro nods. “It’s great. I’d missed him and we still work so well together.”

“And are you being cognizant of his boundaries?”

“Of course, I’d never do anything he didn’t want me to. He’s the one flirting with me.” They both pause at his last declaration. Keith hadn’t meant to mention that part of their relationship; he didn’t want to come over and tell Shiro that he’s ever had any inkling that his feelings might be reciprocated because then Shiro would look at him the way he’s looking at him now. Look at him like all of the pieces are snapping into place and he finally sees the problem.

“You think he–”

“No,” Keith half shouts, cutting him off, “no, I…”

“Listen,” Shiro says gently, “Keith, I think you’re right that you and Lance have a good thing going between the two of you. It’s just that I’d hate to see that come to an end over a misinterpretation.”

“You think that would be the end of our friendship?”

“Your relationship has always been tenuous,” Shiro tells him, “I think it would be in both of your best interests to shut down this ‘flirting’ you mentioned. I know Lance doesn’t mean to…” he pauses to search for the right word.

“Spur me on?” Keith finishes. Shiro sighs. 

“I know he doesn’t mean to hurt you,” Shiro says, Keith looks down at the floor. “I’d hate to see you put yourself through that; I can’t say I ever fell for a straight boy myself, but–”

“You think Lance is straight?” Keith asks, Shiro rethinks what he was getting ready to say.

“You’re right, we shouldn’t assume,” he says, “But that isn’t my point, I just don’t think–”

“That I’m his type?” Keith guesses.

“Look, you’ve known each other for years Keith, and I’ve seen the way you look at him, I just don’t think he understands . To him you’re good friends .” Shiro’s words are final, and Keith knows the man is observant. He watches, he asks the right questions, takes the right details into consideration and draws the right conclusions. Keith wants to ask what moments he’s thinking back to that make him so sure that Lance’s feelings aren't comparable to his own. When had Lance not been there for Keith, not made him a priority– The priority? Keith thinks about the way Lance looks at him when they’re alone in the dark, when his guard finally falls…

“Shiro–”

“I know you didn’t come here to fight,” Adam interrupts, “but I think it’s clear now that you’re not ready to let this go, so we won’t push you. I think what Takashi is trying to say is that, of course, Lance does care for you, but right now you need to decide if the way he does care for you is enough even if it isn’t in all the ways you want, or if it would be better to let this go.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t mean entirely, but you may decide that it’s not healthy for you to be so close,” Adam says.

“Pidge and Hunk are worried we’re going to hurt each other.”

“... Keith,” Shiro says, like it pains him to say it, “You know how he felt about Allura.” Allura, Keith’s mind supplies, and he realizes that Shiro has been dancing around her name for this entire conversation. She is what Shiro sees in Lance that has inclined him to dismiss the possibility of his feelings for Keith. And yet, some of the other things Shiro said still hold weight. Tenuous relationship , he thinks. He remembers Lance’s words, asking how he was supposed to trust that Keith wouldn’t leave him again, his eyes begging Keith to stay. Keith had never wanted to make Lance feel that way. He thinks he’ll be leaving here more confused than when he arrived. 

“Regardless of everything else, I don’t think he’s ready,” Shiro says.

Keith’s mind remains in the garden. “People move on,” he retorts, voice rising.

They sit there a while before Keith gets up and Kosmo stands to follow him. 

“Keith,” Shiro says.

“Do you want to stay? I can make tea,” Adam offers.

“I think I need to just go home for tonight, I have something getting delivered anyway,” Keith says, “Thank you both.” 

“Of course,” Shiro says, getting up to walk him to the door, “Take care of yourself. Okay?”

“I will,” Keith promises. Shiro says goodbye to Kosmo after giving him some scritches on the head while Adam pats Keith on the back, then Keith walks to the car that he borrowed from his mother. 

As Keith is starting up the car, Shiro walks out into the driveway still in his house slippers and leans over to talk to Keith through his driver’s side window. “Thank you for talking to me about this, I’m sorry I couldn’t be more helpful,” Shiro says. 

“No, I’m sorry for being difficult,” Keith says, Shiro smiles.

“You know you can bring this up again any time,” he says.

“I know, thank you again.” 

With that Shiro lets him be on his way while Adam waves him off from the front steps, and when Keith gets home, he puts his new blankets and pillows on the shelf in his closet and shoves the spices in a box under his bed. When the chair arrives, he unboxes it and puts it together, then eats dinner in his bedroom to avoid looking at the proof of how easily he changes his thinking when Lance is involved. 

***

Keith and Lance stare out over the fields of Antidoll. As the wheat-like grasses grate together in the sweet wind, the planet’s setting sun glimmers off the plants, revealing the hints of green, pink, and purple sparkling in their fruit. It had been a long mission spent removing structures of both the Galran occupation and the occupation of another planet in the Xrito system. After the Galra had left the three-planet system, war had broken out between them in a quarrel over resources. Now, after the planet's joined the coalition, the blades are assisting them in an effort to rebuild. 

“When you said this was going to be intensive you weren’t kidding,” Lance laughs, sitting down on a hay bale beside the fields. 

“Luckily there is a teludav nearby, so we can go straight home from here,” Keith says. His feet carry him to Lance, but instead of sitting down, his exhausted state leads him to pick up Lance’s hand from his lap with no forethought into what he was going to do next, only a desperation for contact. Once he realizes what he’s doing, his eyes shoot up to find Lance’s. Except, Lance isn’t pulling away, he’s just watching Keith like he’s a puzzle he can’t seem to solve. 

“Sorry,” Keith says, “just tired.” He hasn’t been sleeping well since his talks with the rest of the team, suddenly afraid that he’ll realize that they’re right. After all this time spent thinking he was helping Lance by sticking around and showing him just how much he means to him, could the comfort only be on his end?

“Sit with me,” Lance says, gripping Keith’s hand to pull him down. Keith follows and their hands don’t break apart as he settles on the hay bale. As Kosmo hops up to settle behind them, Lance’s softened gaze doesn’t leave Keith either.

“Do you remember our conversation in the garden?” Keith asks. Lance stiffens, then wills himself to relax again.

“Yes,” he says.

“Do you still feel alone?” Keith asks. Lance seems to ponder for a moment before coming to a decision.

“No,” he says definitively. Keith looks for any sign of untruthfulness in his eyes and finds none, so he nods. He looks away and tries not to allow his heart to beat out of his chest simply because their hands remain connected. When Keith looks back at Lance, he finds him staring at their joined fingers, and when Lance’s eyes flick back up to Keith’s he starts moving his thumb back and forth experimentally. 

“I would have been lonely, on a mission like this,” Keith says. Lance tilts his head, a smile beginning to form on his lips.

“But now you have me,” he says. Keith blushes. 

“I’d hoped we wouldn’t drift apart after the war ended, even though I always thought I would just end up the loner again.”

Lance’s expression drops. “Keith no, you deserve so much better than that. And that’s never going to happen with me around, I want to be with you always.”

“Always?” Keith repeats.

“Don’t play coy, you know how I feel,” Lance chides, Keith shakes his head. “I’ve always admired you. I told you on the game show with Bob, when I thought it was life or death: I think you’re the future.” Keith’s stomach sinks when remembering the game show and Lance notices, his expression turning pitiful.

“Lance–” he tries, but the other looks away. He squeezes Lance’s hand and Lance meets his eyes again. “I didn’t mean it, and I should have cleared things up. You must know that I wouldn’t have picked to save your life over the others’ just because I didn’t want to get stuck there with you. I just wanted to get you out of there after how cruel he was to you, and I was too cowardly and embarrassed to give my real reasons.”

“Which are?” Lance asks.

“You are the most amazing person I’ve ever met, Lance. If you had been the only one to get out of there, I knew I could trust that you would have united the remaining rebels, found a way to win the war, and brought peace to the universe. Plus, I know your family needs you, and…” I love you is on the tip of his tongue, “I wanted you to get home,” he says instead.

“Thank you, Keith,” Lance sighs, falling against Keith’s shoulder. Keith freezes, unsure of what to do with Lance so close. 

“I think you’re pretty claw-some too,” Lance snickers.

“Don’t start with the cat puns,” Keith scolds weakly.

“Purr-fect even,” Lance adds. Keith feigns an annoyed sigh while Lance laughs before giving in and joining him. 

“Seriously though,” Keith says, “I’m sorry, I was cruel.”

“It’s ok, we’ll consider it pay back for me telling you I forgot our bonding moment when I actually remember,” Lance says.

“LANCE!!” Keith yells over the other boy’s hysterical laughter. 

After their team arrives back on Earth, they drop off the other six blades at the Garrison. “Do you think we can make it back tonight?” Keith asks.

“Are we allowed to take the ship?” Lance questions.

“Technically we’re not supposed to use it for non-mission related purposes, but it is my ship,” Keith tells him.

“So maybe just this once it would be ok?” Lance asks, Keith smiles.

“I’ll take you home on my motorcycle next time,” he says. 

“Are you flirting with me?” Lance asks. A surprised laugh escapes Keith’s throat.

“Am I?” he asks. Lance laughs in way of a response, walking in front of Keith to take the pilot’s chair. Keith’s head is spinning in the silence of the cockpit and he thinks about the fact that they’re not going back to his apartment. He feels a bit silly for the things he hastily bought, and he mourns the way Lance would tease him after seeing the new spices in his cupboard. He supposes it will happen eventually.

When they arrive at the Mcclain's it’s as home-y as ever. Mrs. Mcclain swarms them with motherly affection and insists that they shower before dinner. Keith ends up in Lance’s clothes and Nadia and Sylvio braid his and Kosmo’s hair while they’re waiting for the food. Dinner is lovely as always. The food is amazing and even Kosmo gets some scraps under the table, the atmosphere is warm and alive, and most of the family is kind enough not to pester them with questions after their long week away. That only changes when the conversation shifts to Acxa. 

“Keith, you know Acxa well,” Mrs. Mcclain says.

“Yes, she’s a good friend and my second in command in the Blade.”

“How would you describe her?”

“Well, she’s loyal, she has strong morals, and she’s very smart and driven,” Keith praises, leaving out praises of her combat skill because he suspects that’s not what she’s looking for. 

“Is she…” Mrs. Mcclain starts, “Cómo se dice… sweet?” she asks.

“Sweet?” Keith repeats.

“She just always seems so serious when I’ve spoken with her.”

“Ya, kinda scary,” Marco says.

“You’re scared of all women,” Rachel mumbles under her breath.

“Am not!” Marco defends. 

“She’s pragmatic I suppose?” Keith guesses.

“Think of it like this,” Lance buds in, “What did you think of Keith when you first met him?”

“Ummm…” Mrs. Mcclain hums.

“Intimidating right?” Lance asks.

“What?” Keith says, mildly offended.

“Because he seems so serious until you get to know him,” Lance states definitively, “But noooow…”

“He’s sweet,” Rachel says. Keith blushes. 

“Exactly. And the reason Keith and Acxa get along so well is because they’re like-thinkers, overly ‘pragmatic’ on the outside with a heart of gold on the inside,” he explains. 

“Is it a Galra thing?” Marco asks. Keith tilts his head.

“Your mother seems to be the same way,” Mrs. Mcclain adds.

“I’m not sure if that comparison can be drawn to all Galran mothers, Krolia wasn’t there for most of my life,” Keith says.

“Oh, of course, querido,” Mrs. Mcclain assures, “I don’t mean to pry, I’m just hoping to get acquainted with this Acxa friend of yours.” 

Keith thinks that’s a good sign all things considered; he wonders if Lance feels the same way. 

After dinner, he and Lance help with the dishes while Kosmo is kidnapped by the children. 

“Sorry for the awkward dinner conversation,” Lance says quietly.

“I don’t mind,” Keith tells him, “Do you really think I’m intimidating?” he asks.

“Do I think you’re intimidating?” Lance laughs, “No. But you make an intimidating first impression.” 

Keith can feel himself frowning, “hmmf.”

“Don’t ‘hmmf’ at me,” Lance mocks, “it’s one of your best qualities.”

“It is?” 

“Yup, people know from the start that won’t take their shit,” Lance says, “I’m jealous.”

“You? Jealous of me?” Keith asks.

“Yes Keith, unbelievable I know,” Lance says, like he thinks Keith is joking. He reads Keith's expression a moment later and realizes he’s serious. “Didn’t we just have this conversation?

“I’ve always been jealous of you, and how easily you can talk to people and get them to like you,” Keith says. Lance looks a bit stunned, then he snickers. 

“Really?” 

“Really,” Keith reiterates. 

“Did you ever even hate me?” Lance asks.

“No,” Keith says without a breath of hesitance, “Did you hate me?”

“Never,” Lance confesses, “It was always more about getting you to look at me.”

Keith sets the now-clean dish in his hands aside and just looks at Lance, piecing together all of their words and actions from the day, and from the past few months. It feels like they’re on a precipice. 

“You’ll stay here tonight, won’t you?” Lance asks.

“Yes,” Keith says.

“I’ll help you set up the couch,” he offers, pulling the plug to drain the sink.