Nova

There was a distinct buzzing in Remus's ear, had been for a few hours now. A lamp probably, or a TV? Something electronic that no one else, no one fully human would pick up on.

It had been annoying before. Now he seemed to walk towards it, its hum increasing ever so slightly. He was up in the attic. Dark wood and pitched roofs everywhere.

"Sirius?" Remus asked into the quiet. At first nothing happened. Then he heard the unmistakable sound of claws scratching over wood. He walked deeper into the shadows. He probably shouldn't be able to see here, but he was. There was a tiny glow of light coming from the furthest place to the right.

When he stepped closer his eyes took in the dog curled up tightly into a ball, facing the corner. Padfoot's fur seemed to glow from the little nightlight Sirius must've plugged in right beside him. Hence the humming, Remus thought as he squeezed himself beside the dog and rested his hand on Padfoot's back.

He'd known something was wrong that morning making breakfast. Sirius had been ecstatic. Hair tumbling over his shoulders, throwing jokes left and right, dancing with James through the kitchen.

After a wild breakfast with broken china and a strange atmosphere that was just a little too fun, Sirius had disappeared.

When Remus asked James about his best friend, he'd shrugged a little helplessly and told him to just let Sirius have it out. He'd tell them what had happened soon enough.

James knew Sirius well. Better than anyone maybe. They were brothers more than mates at this point. Not just in the way they talked, but also in the way they didn't.

If they went somewhere together they weren't attached at the hip anymore like they were at Hogwarts. They went their ways, coming back to each other if needed and checking in on the other with quick glances and few words.

When there was a problem they knew it just by the way the other one blinked.

And sometimes that was the problem. Because sometimes you didn't need someone to know what you wanted to say before you had even decided on it. Someone who could read your thoughts as you could theirs. Sometimes you needed to say things. To speak them out loud, to shout them into the world.

"I'm glad I found you," he whispered to the dog, petting its back gently.

Padfoot gave a deep sigh. Then he sat up, his body morphing into that of a boy once more.

Sirius sat with his knees pulled up and his arms curled around them. He turned his head to Remus, the red of his eyes barely visible as his face was dipped in shadows.

"I'm glad you found me too," he said, his voice scratchy.

They looked at each other for a minute. Sirius' eyes scrutinising him in a way that would be uncomfortable if it wasn't Sirius. He had always had this way of looking at Remus. Like he saw every single part of him, and didn't mind one bit.

He wasn't sure if Sirius found what he was looking for in his face, so he moved a little closer to his friend, their sides pressing together and Sirius melted against him. His head falling onto Remus' shoulder.

Then he took another deep breath and shifted slightly, pulling something he must've been sitting on from underneath him and handed it to Remus without looking.

"She wrote to him," he began, a quiver he couldn't seem to suppress in his voice, "she knows where he is and that can only mean he told her. I ..."

Neat rows of letters where on the envelope. Their address.

From: Walburga Black. Shit.

"I'm letting him down Remus, I'm letting him down again. He is ..." a choked sound escaped Sirius and he blinked rapidly against his tears, "I have no idea how to talk to him, what to do. And she's in prison, she's in fucking prison because of the shit she did to us and he's still writing her?"

"He doesn't know any better Sirius. He doesn't have anyone else."

Sirius' eyes flashed. "He has me. He doesn't want to have me, for some reason. I protected him Moony, I made sure he didn't get the worst of it when I could, and now he's just as hateful as her,"

"And I tried, I tried to get him out, I did. But it .. it took time and I-" his voice broke off but Remus waited, "I couldn't go back there. You know I couldn't right?"

Remus didn't know what was the right thing to say, but he saw these brothers every day. Fighting when they were together, miserable when they were apart. Hating each other loud and harsh and loving the other in secret as if it were a crime. Back at Grimmauld place, maybe it had been.

"For him, you left," Sirius flinched and Remus soul ached. "Abandoned him. He doesn't know that you where fighting for him every day. You have to tell him that."

Sirius dark eyes were searching Remus' face. He let him. Siting still. Sirius needed that. That absolute certainty of sincerity. Of loyalty.

He exhaled.

"Yeah." Then more determinedly: "Yeah you're right, I gotta ... I gotta tell James and look at this," he shook the closed envelope in his hands, already half off the floor.

"Thanks Remus. Thanks for finding me."

"Always Pads."