Family
August 25th, 1976
Over his 15 years of life Regulus Arcturus Black has had a total of two different families. His biological family, consisting of his lovely parents Walburga and Orion Black, his uncle and aunt, Cygnus and Druella Black, his 3 older cousins, Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa Black and finally but certainly not least his older brother Sirius Orion Black.
His second family was one he wasn’t expecting. He met Barty Crouch Jr and Evan Rosier on the train in first year after he walked straight past Sirius not batting an eye at his brother.
Regulus walks into the first compartment he sees and there sit two boys the same age as Regulus and he stares at them for a while, not expecting anyone to be in the department.
“Hello, I’m Regulus.”
The blonde boy perks up a little and smiles. “My father told me to befriend you, I’m Evan, Evan Rosier, and this is Barty.” The boy- Evan says with a smile as he offers his hand and Regulus takes it.
“Pleasure to meet you, the name Rosier sounds vaguely familiar.” Regulus decided right then and there he liked Evan as he sat next to the boy and the brown-haired boy looked him up and down before crossing his arms.
“What kind of name is Regulus?” He snickers, trying not to laugh and Regulus throws him his special Black glare.
“What kind of name is Barty?”
“His real name is Bartumis.” Evan laughs, shoving his friend’s shoulder. “Be nice Barty. Sorry Reg, he’s not a people person. I can call you Reg right?”
Regulus wasn’t expecting that, no one outside his family calls him anything other than Regulus but he likes the blonde so he nods. “Yes, that’s okay. I don’t mind.”
And Evan just smiles.
After that, the three boys found out that they would be put in a dorm together and at first Regulus and Barty bumped heads a lot in the first few months. They were too much alike, and just couldn’t stand each other. That all changed after Barty had watched in on Regulus crying with a letter from his mother. Barty stayed with him for an hour and Regulus couldn’t stop the rant that came out of his mouth. About his parents, his cousin, his brother, and how he just misses it. He missed them all.
Regulus didn’t go looking for his second family, they chose him during a time when it felt like no one else cared.
Now here he is, packing his truck for Hogwarts in six days, and somehow, somewhere deep inside him, he knows that this is going to be much different than all the others.
“Come in.” Regulus says to the person knocking at his door, expecting to see Sirius, or James, or even Monty but no, it's the short smiling Potter woman. Now Regulus has opened up to pretty much everyone in the household, he has late night talks with Sirius, he and James's play Quidditch together, and he and Fleamont work on their potion from time to time.
Regulus hasn’t said much to the woman in the time he’s been here. He’s always been closer to his father when he was little, maybe that’s why he feels comfortable with Monty. Regulus’s mother always terrified him, and he knows Effie isn’t like his monster of a mother, but he can’t help it. He doesn’t know how to act around the woman, because he doesn’t know how to act around a nice, caring, loving mum.
Euphemia sat on the boy's bed and looked around his room. “I know you’ll only be with us for a few more days but I was thinking maybe during Christmas break we can take a trip to get you some stuff, you know make your room well, your room darling.”
“Umm.. Y-You really don’t have to do that Mrs. Potter.”
“Nonsense, I want this to be your home, I want you to feel at home.”
And Regulus doesn’t know what to say about that, he never had a home. He’s only ever had a house, it had 4 walls, a red hideous carpet, black walls, and a grand chandelier in the entrance. His parents and brother lived there with him, but it was never home. Regulus never once thought of it as being his home, not in his short 15 years of life.
“I never had a home.” He confessed, looking down at his hands, like they are the most interesting thing at the moment as he flexes his fingers into a fist then opens them, feeling the coldest of his rings against his skin.
The Indian woman gives him a sad soft smile, Regulus reminds her so much of Sirius when she first met the boy that it breaks her heart. She wants to storm to London, to that awful house and curse Walburga and Orion for how they treated their sons. There was a time when that’s all Effie and Monty wanted, a child to call their own, to love and protect. After years, and years of trying, after losing five children before birth and burying two only days after birth they finally got their miracle. James, and heaven forbid anything happens to their son. Orion and Walburga have two polite wonderful children and they treat them like trash on the street, like dolls to dress up and obey their every command. Don’t those ‘parents’ know that some people would kill to have what they have? And they throw it all away.
“Regulus,” the woman starts, her voice soft and smooth but with a hint of determination as she gets up and goes over to the boy who’s sitting at his desk chair. Effie smiles as she gets on her knees in front of him and takes his hands into hers. “You will always have a home here.”
Regulus wants to believe her, believe that they see him how they see James and Sirius, but he can’t.
“You were born into a family that doesn’t always appreciate you, but things are very, very different now.”
His throat is dry, he can’t think of anything to say to that.
She continues. “You can let it go love. You’ve been so strong for so long.” A small whimper escapes the Slytherins mouth, as he tries so hard not to cry. “You’re so strong and brave for leaving Regulus, you know that don’t you? It takes a lot of courage, and if no one’s told you yet, then I want to tell you.” Her grip tightens on the boy causing him to look up at her. “I’m so proud of you.”
That does it, those 5 words is all it took for Regulus’s dam to crumble.
Proud
Proud
Proud
Personally, he’s never heard that sentence spoken to him before.
Someone was finally proud of him.
And strong brave Regulus cries.
“I-I didn’t want to die..” He cries, trying not to sob as the tears leak down his face. Trying with every bit of himself to be strong.
“Oh honey..” Effie pulls him into a hug and just holds him, he’s never been held by anyone other than Sirius. But Euphemia Potter hugs with everything in her, and for a moment Regulus thinks, no- He can feel the fierce protection come off her body in waves. She was a mother, a mum through and through. She was born to love and protect with everything in her, and Regulus knows this because he can physically feel it.
“You are safe here. You are loved, you are so so loved Regulus.” The woman whispers to the crying boy and all Regulus can do in the moment is wrap his arms back around her, hugging her back as he lays his head on her shoulder and cries.
“I tried fo-for so long to be what t-they wanted..” He cries out. Pouring all of his dirty laundry on the woman.
“I know love.”
“I wa-was taught to be p-perfect or I wouldn’t be loved..” He continued, and Effie rubs his back softly, and Effie’s heart breaks for the Black brothers. Their kids, just little kids. They didn’t need all of this on them, they needed to be protected. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Some people are just born with tragedy in their blood. It’s a sick, twisted world they all live in.
She remembers the night Regulus came to them. She heard someone use the floo and woke her husband up at the dead of night to go with her and check. At first, in the darkness of the night she thought it was Sirius, those boys could be twins after all. When she turned on the light she saw that it was in fact not Sirius, but Regulus and he was.. To put it simply, dying.
She notices the boy swaying back and forth and looks at her husband in worry. “Monty..” She whispered, unsure what to do in the moment of shock and Regulus fell.
“Shit!” Her husband yelled as he dived to the 15-year-old, catching him just in time for him not to hit his head on anything and that got Effie out of her shock.
“Move him to the couch now.” She said firmly as she lifted her wand and the living room furniture started to move around, as Monty picked up the small child, laying him on the couch.
“Dad? Dad, is everything okay?!” Her son, James, yelled as him and Sirius raced down the stairs,
“Boys go back upstairs.” Effie commands her sons, trying to shed the younger boy from their line of sight. They don’t need to see this; Sirius doesn’t need to see this.
Regulus is coming in and out of consciousness, when he opens his eyes the whites around his left one are red and bloody, he has blood everywhere from cuts all over him, different sizes, some deeper than others. Effie doesn’t need to feel the boy to know at least 2 of his ribs are broken, she can see them poking out of the poor boy's side.. He’s dying.
He’s dying.
“S-S..” A small broken voice calls out. “Siri-Siri..”
Sirius’s head shoots up as he tries to get past Effie. “Reg? Reggie?!” He goes over but Monty stops him before he can and grabs Sirius’s shoulders to keep him back and Regulus turns to his side and proceeds to throw up pure blood on the carpet.
“That’s my brother, let go.” Sirius pleads with Monty.
“Sirius we can’t let you over there, yet we are tryin-“
“He needs me please, please, please he’s-he’s my baby, okay? He’s mine, I need- he needs-we need-” Sirius stutters, trying to find the words as he looks at his brother with a look Euphemia can’t place, a look she’s never seen in Sirius before.
And that’s when Effie knew.
Sirius and Regulus didn’t have their parents to raise them, to shape them into who they are today no, they raised themselves, or rather Sirius raised himself while he raised Regulus. Sirius wasn’t just looking at the young boy like he saw his baby brother laying before him no, no Sirius was looking like a broken-hearted parent watching their young child fight for life or death.
Regulus was more than Sirius’s brother; he was the boy the Gryffindor raised. And there was no way Sirius would leave the boy's side at this moment. “Monty.” Effie whispers, finding her voice. “Let them through, let Sirius see him.” Monty, good lovable stubborn Fleamont listened to his wife and moved. Sirius ran to his brother, getting down on his knees near the couch.
“You’re okay..” Whispers the scared boy as he moves his baby brother's hair out of his face and lets the tears fall down his pale face. “You’re going to be okay.” And Euphemia can’t tell if Sirius is saying that to assure Regulus or himself.
“I got you; I got you Reggie you’re okay..”
Effie snaps out of her head, of the horrible memory of that night when Regulus finally stops crying and looks up at her. “Thank you.” He whispers, and his voice is raw with emotion, Effie almost asks him what he means but he continues. “For saving us.. For saving him..”
For saving him.
They worry more about each other than they do themselves. That’s the Black brother's greatest weakness, but also their biggest strengths. Each other.
“Oh sweetheart.” She pulls him in even closer and rests her chin on his head, feeling his soft curls. “You guys saved yourselves, I just gave you shelter in the middle of a storm, but you guys are the ones who ran to it.”
“It wasn’t easy.. Running to it, I mean.”
“No, no I imagine it wasn’t.”
Regulus clears his throat and sits up wiping his eyes. “Well still, thank you Effie.”
Effie only smiles and kisses his forehead before looking at the small boy. “You have a home here, no matter what.” She assured him, knowing that he needs to hear that.
They stayed like that for a while before Effie offered to help Regulus finish packing up his school supplies and new robes and shoes. They chatted some more about school and life for a few hours, it was nice actually in Regulus’s opinion. He can tell that Euphemia Potter loves with her whole heart, and her love comes with no bounds, no limits, no questions.
Regulus thinks some people are just born to be parents, nature caregivers, and he knows that Effie Potter was one of those people.
“I’m gay.” He blurts out as Effie turns to leave his room, after helping him pack and joking around and just talking to her.
He’s never told anyone that before, never said it out loud. Dorcas, Barty, Evan, and Pandora know but he never told them, never said that three letter word. He was always made to believe it was a horrible disgusting disease. That he had to hide it in the shadows and never let it see the light of day. He finally fully embraced who he was in the middle of 4th year, after he saw his brother with Lupin. Sirius looked so happy, so loved, like he didn’t care if Hades himself was in the hallway, his brother would still love the boy with the scars. Regulus wanted that, he needed that and his brother, his idiotic, hyperactive, loudmouth of an older brother showed him that it was okay to have that. Sirius helped Regulus in a way he didn’t even know he was, by just being Sirius.
He also wasn’t worried about Euphemia; he knew that she had knowledge about Sirius and Remus. Merlin at this point Regulus is convinced that all of Muggle and Wizarding Britain alike knows about Remus and Sirius.
No, no he wasn’t worried about her kicking him out or making him feel worthless, and he figures that’s why it was so easy to get those two words out, because Effie’s love knows no bounds. Just like her son.
The small Indian woman just looks over her shoulder and smiles at Regulus. “Okay.” She says, like it’s as simple as that, like he’s telling her that his favorite color is blue.
“Okay.” Regulus says back in a small voice.
“Any boy I should know about?” She smirks, a hint of teasing in her voice and eyes and Regulus blushes looking down. “Oh!” She smiles wider and turns completely around to look at the younger Black. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
“I umm.. Th-There’s nothing to talk about.” He bites his lips and picks at the bottom hems of his shirt.
“Are you sure?”
“I think he’s-You know.. I think he’s straight so..”
“Oh, well, you never know if you never try.” She walks over to Regulus and rests her hands on his shoulder making him look up at her. “Take some advice from an old witch. If you never try, you’ll never know, if you try and it doesn’t work out at least you had something. If you try and it does work out well, then you have everything.”
If you never try, you’ll never know, if you try and it doesn’t work out at least you had something. If you try and it does work out, you have everything.
That makes Regulus want to evaluate how he looks at life.
Euphemia notices that Regulus has a lot to think about and she only smiles and kisses the boy's head again. “Get some sleep.” She said softly as she went back to the door to leave. “Also, Regulus, thank you for telling me.” Is all she says before slipping out of the room.
Regulus Black goes to sleep with a lot on his mind but a smile on his face.
Until he’s screaming.
And just like almost every night his big brother is right there to make the monsters go away.
August 26th, 1976
“I can’t believe we’re starting 6th year.” Barty mumbles, his eyes wide as the gravity of it all settles in. Only two more years.
“You know 6 is supposed to be the most powerful number.”
“Powerful Panda really?”
“Yes, it is the number of Venus and it’s a symbol of union.”
“Huh- And what exactly is that supposed to mean?”
“I just think that our 6th year is going to be the best one yet, I feel like a lot is going to happen this year.”
Regulus can’t help but hum in agreement with his friend, he has that feeling too and he can’t shake it. This year is going to be a very important year in their lives.
Barty, Evan, Pandora, and Dorcas are over at the Potters today, they decide to come over and catch up, considering this very likely would be the last time they're together before the 1st. Evan is sitting on the small bing bag in Regulus’s room. He doesn’t know exactly how it got in there, maybe Sirius was uncomfortable sitting in Regulus’s desk chair for hours waiting for Regulus to need him at night. Barty is sitting in Evan’s lap playing with his blonde boyfriend's tie, tying it around his fingers and pulling at it. Pandora is sitting at Regulus’s desk chair, spinning around in it as she tries to balance a book on her head at the same time, and to Regulus’s shock it has yet to fall. Regulus and Dorcas are on Regulus’s bed, Dorcas’s back is against the headrest with Regulus between her legs laying in her while her hands trail through his hair.
It’s comfortable.
Reminds him of their time in the Slytherin dorms.
It’s right where he wants to be.
“As long as it’s not like last year.” Evan mumbles with a grimace.
“I swear on everything I loved; I was so close to drowning myself in the damn lake.”
“I didn’t know you had the capacity to love anything.” Barty raises an eyebrow teasing his ex-boyfriend.
“Obviously he loves stuff. Like rain, and writing, Sirius-“ Pandora rambles on, reading off the mental list she keeps of all of Regulus’s favorite stuff.
“James.” Dorcas hums at her.
“Oh yes, how can we forget about that one? Thank you, Dorcas. James, knitting, cats-“
“I suddenly do not like any of you.” Regulus sits up crossing his legs on his bed and no matter what anyone said he was definitely not pouting as he crossed his arms.
“Speaking of Jame-“ Barty starts, his voice sing-songy.
“I will stab you.” Warned Regulus blandly.
“Oh come on Reg-“
“No.”
“You’re living with the bo-“
“No.”
“Just let me ask this one-“
“No.”
“Regulus Black I swear-“
“Bartimus Crouch Jr, I swear I’ll stab you.”
Barty just stares wondering if he wants to take that risk or not and Regulus smirks. “After all, do you want to talk about Peter? He’s here right now, you know.”
Now it’s Evans' turn to look offended. “And you didn’t tell us?!”
“He doesn’t need the two of you breathing down his back.” Regulus huffs rolling his eyes. “I mean honestly you guys aren’t even dating-“
“Yet.” Barty points out.
“Whatever you want to tell yourself. My point is, I don’t want to talk about James, and I know you don’t want to talk about Peter.”
“Actually, we are quite happy to talk about Pete.” Evan smiles, kissing Barty's cheek. “Did you know he’s a wiz at chest. Like bloody hell mate. It’s a superpower honestly.”
“And he can play the flute,” Barty gushes with a proud smile, “he’s musically gifted Reg.”
“Okay, okay. I’m done with this conversation. Don’t feel like hearing you gush about the poor lad.” Regulus waves a hand dismissively.
“So, we can talk about James?” Barty tried with an innocent smile.
“No.”
“But I only-“
“It will be painful.”
“Oh, come on-“
“I won’t even go to the funeral.”
“Regulus you’re being dramat-“
“I’ll enjoy every bit of it if you don’t shut up.”
Barty shuts up but glares at Regulus and Regulus glares back. Both boys are stubborn, neither is going to let it go anytime soon, Barty will keep pushing and Regulus may or may not actually stab him. It really depends.
The group looks between the two holding their breath, trying to decide who’ll win the standoff this time. Barty turns to look at the others, or well one person in particular.
Pandora smiles sweetly as she continues spinning in Regulus’s chair. “Reggie, how is everything with James?”
Out of everyone in the room, Pandora is the only one Regulus won’t cuss out or threaten her life. Yes, they're all friends, they all love each other, but everyone in the group has a soft spot for the blonde Ravenclaw, most importantly Regulus has a soft spot for her.
Which is why he sighs and lays back down on the bed putting his hands on his stomach as he stares at the ceiling.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Regulus mutters.
“I don’t believe that.” Evan confesses stroking Barty's leg as he looks over at Reg. “He couldn’t take his eyes off you.”
“That is not true.” Regulus huffs.
“Hm.. Nope pretty sure it is true. Babe?”
“Hmm?” Barty looks up at his boyfriend and smiles. “Yes love?”
“What is that thing that Regulus said once, about the sun.”
“Oh yes! I believe it was-“
“Enough you two knock it off. I mean it.” Regulus snaps, causing everyone to shut up. He knows what they're talking about, it’s a poem Regulus wrote in 4th year about the one and only James Potter.
They know realistically that Regulus won’t hurt them, but now it’s all about respect in boundaries. Regulus is fine with the teasing to a certain point but, they have to do good in remembering he wasn’t always comfortable in his sexuality and feelings. He thought he was dirty, and scum on the ground for years, that something was wrong with him.
Regulus couldn’t look away; you couldn’t make him. The castle could be on fire and little 11-year-old Regulus would happily burn within the walls if it meant he got to keep looking.
James Potter was on the other side of the Great Hall, at the Gryffindor tables laughing at something Regulus’s brother had said, knowing Sirius it probably wasn’t even that funny but at this moment Regulus couldn’t find it in him to care. That laugh. Oh, that laugh. The way James’s shoulders shook, and he squeezed his eyes shut, the way his Adam's apple vibrated so much Regulus could see it bouncing in the boy's throat. James’s smile could make the sun go blind, it was big and breathtaking. But the sound of James laughing could solve all the world's problems itself, that Regulus is sure of.
They had just gotten back from Christmas break; Regulus didn’t see his brother for break or on his birthday, but he couldn’t bring himself to care all that much. (That’s a lie he did care very much) All he cared about was that he hasn’t seen that laugh in weeks, hasn’t seen those particular glasses, hasn’t felt the warmth of the boy.
He’s addicted.
He knows he’s addictive.
And he hates himself for it.
That’s how he found himself crying to Dorcas a few hours later, in the darkness of his dorm room while Evan and Barty were gone to get snacks from the kitchen.
He doesn’t understand this, it’s unnatural, disgusting, dirty. His parents, his brother.. They’ll all hate him.
“Why am I like this? Why am I like this?” He repeats in sobs and Dorcas only holds him in her arms, her fingers trailing in his hair.
“I don’t know, baby. I wish I knew but you’re okay, it’s all gonna be okay.” Is all she could stay to bring him comfort and it didn’t work.
For the first time, he allowed himself to speak the truth that’s been in his heart, building up. “I want Sirius..” He confessed, because Sirius would know what to do. If he didn’t think Regulus was a dirty monster for his feelings.
It wasn’t until Regulus’s 4th year, that he figured out Sirius wouldn’t care, because Sirius also has the same feelings about his best friend, Remus Lupin. But still, even knowing that, Regulus is still terrified to tell his brother.
“Okay fine. Let’s talk about my sister's relationship.” Evan smirks and looks at Pandora, who blushes rolling her eyes.
You would think they were twins, and it’s confusing to learn they're not, that Evan is a few months older when they call each other brother and sister but it’s true, they are. Both with the last name Rosier, both with the same father but different mother, their father had an affair with Pandora’s mother and raised her as a single mum for years. Evan and Pandora didn’t even know each other until they started Hogwarts.
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Replied the blonde girl as she stops twirling in Regulus’s chair to get a better look at her brother.
“No, no. I want to know everything about the girl who stole my little sister's heart, Panda.” Evan comments grinning, trying to tease the blonde.
“Me and Lily have nothing going on.” Pandora replies that blush still on her face.
“So, it’s not her that you have been writing to for the past few days?” Barty asks, raising an eyebrow, Pandora looks at Evan with wide eyes.
“You told him!”
“I tell Bart everything, plus it’s no-“ Evan tries but gets cut off by the door swinging open and Sirius rushes in laughing jumping on Regulus’s bed.
“Hide me! Hide me!” He yells trying to get under the covers.
Regulus looks at the idiot confused “Sirius what in the world are you-“
“Sirius!” James yells running in with Remus and Peter behind him.
Regulus understands what’s going on the minute he sees James, his glasses are gone, Sirius stole his glasses and Regulus doesn’t like that. No, no he doesn’t like it one bit.
“Give him his glasses.” Regulus snaps glaring at his brother as he tries to shield himself from James throwing a pillow at him.
“I do- Oy! I don’t have them!” Sirius shouts laughing as he throws the pillow back at James.
“Accio James’s glasses!” Regulus called, causing the glasses to zoom out of Sirius’s pocket and into Regulus’s hands and he handed them back to James who smiled sweetly.
“Thanks sweetheart.” He winks, putting his glasses on, blinking a few times. “Ah, you guys aren’t blurry anymore!”
“Potter, how blind are you?” Dorcas snorts.
“We had to stop him from running into a wall just now.” Remus recalled laughing slightly as he took a seat on the floor and James sat next to Regulus on the bed.
Regulus finally got a good look at the four Gryffindors, his brother had his long hair up in a bun, he refuses to cut it even though he’s heard Effie offer to trim it for him. He also wears a leather jacket with a shirt of some guy on it, the words ‘Bowie’ written at the bottom of the man’s face with some Muggle jeans.
Remus, tall and slim, is wearing a ugly looking knitted jumper with black slacks and boots, Regulus notices the boy also has a new scar that wasn’t there only a few days before, a small one, just across his eyebrow. A small part of Regulus wonders if Remus got his scars the same way Regulus got all of his. It’s not his place to ask though.
James is wearing his award-winning smile as he talks to Pandora about one of the many creatures she’s interested in. He’s also wearing a tank top, gray. Showing off his Chaser arms and body, with shorts that cut off just below his knees. It should be unfair to look at fit if you ask Regulus. Everything the Potter boy does should be unfair, he should curse the boy for how he makes Regulus’s heart jump out, like it’s going to leap out of his throat.
He moves on to look at Peter who stands in the doorway awkwardly, trying not to look at Barty and Evan on the bing bag. Like Remus, he is also wearing a jumper, a black one with jeans that look like Sirius’s and Gryffindor red shoes with something hanging down around his neck. Regulus thinks it looks familiar, some kind of Muggle device, he’s seen Muggleborns with at Hogwarts.
“What’s that?” Evan waves a hand to the device around Peter's neck, almost like he was reading Regulus’s mind.
The timid boy looks startled for a moment before looking down at the metal box. “O-Oh umm.. I-It’s a Muggle camera. Mum got it for me a few days ago, s-so I could document our last year.”
Barty gets out of Evan’s lap and walks to Peter smiling sweetly. Don’t let that smile fool you, Barty is anything but sweet.
“May I?” He asks to reach for the camera and Peter only nods as Barty smirks and takes it out from around the boy's neck, looking at it. “How does it work?”
“W-Well you just t-take this and-“
“Darling, please. We’re going to have to work on that stutter of yours.” Evan interrupted, walking over to the pair.
“He only has a stutter when he’s around you two.” Remus chuckled before putting his hands up in surrender when Peter threw him a glare.
No one knew Peter was capable of such an intense glare, but he was, it surprises the whole Slytherin bunch who doesn’t really spend a lot of time with them. That glare is almost as deadly as Regulus’s. Apparently, there’s a lot more to this group than meets the eye.
“Like you were any better, remember the first time Sirius got a leather jacket in 4th year. Moony you could hardly keep your mouth closed; you were also drooling a little.” Peter shoots back at Remus who blushes and looks away.
James smirks and throws a wink at Pete. “Yeah, but Moony had a crush, you admitting to having a crush Wormy?”
“Oh, fuck off Prongs!” Peter whines looking away. Regulus can see a hint of a smirk on Barty as he examines the camera, before putting it up to his eye and taking a picture causing a flash.
Barty jumps back, surprised by the sudden flash of light. “What the bloody hell was that?!”
“You just took a picture,” Peter replied, smiling a little “we won’t be able to see it until I get it developed though.”
“Interesting,” Barty mumbles before walking back over to Evan, who is still on the bing bag but instead of getting back on his boyfriend's lap he sits next to him on it.
“Um.. Barty m-my camera.. You still have it..”
“Yeah babe, come get it.” Barty smirks waving the device around causing Peter to blush at the name and walk over to get it. Peter reaches for the camera, but Evan pulls the boy down on his and Barty's lap, each wrapping a hand around his waist to keep him there. They start whispering stuff to the shy blonde causing him to blush bright red and Regulus has to look away, it feels like he’s invading on something personal. Something that isn’t for his eyes to see as the trio is wrapped in their little bubble together.
“So, what do we have planned?” James asks casually laying down on his back. He’s still in Regulus’s bed, next to him.
Yes. Regulus thinks.
Yes, please stay like that. Like this is your bed, like this is your space, our space. Like you’re comfortable and calm and familiar with the setting of my room.
Dorcas raised an eyebrow. “We?”
“Yes, we,” Sirius replies putting his hands under his head as he too lays in Regulus’s bed, his feet propped up on Regulus’s leg.
“Firstly, I am not a footrest Sirius,” growled Regulus, throwing his brother's foot off him. “Secondly, why would we do anything with you?”
“Oh, come on Reggie-“
“It’s Regulus.”
Sirius just ignores his brother. “I mean, I want to get to know my baby brother's friends and my best mate’s boyfriends.”
Peter looks over in shock at Sirius’s statement. “Umm.. We’re not- this isn’t- I’m not- their together but I’m not-“
“Peter you guys are dating; you just don’t know it yet.” Remus states, simply, unapologetically waving a dismissive hand.
“Plus, I think it’ll be fun! Doing something together with all of us again!”
Regulus glares, trying to make it look like that sentence didn’t fill his heart with joy. “James, no one asked you.”
“Why are you so mean?” The boy asked but his voice had no heat to it, he was actually smiling, looking interested and entertained.
He’s always fucking smiling.
“I’m not mean. I’m honest.” Stated Regulus dryly.
“It’s being mean Reggie.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Wha- I called you it before!”
“Yes, well it was a lapse in judgment, I don’t want you to call me that.”
“What about Reg?”
“No.”
“Re-Re?”
“Salazar Potter, no.”
“Reginald?”
“My name is Regulus.”
“But I want to call you Reginald.”
“I don’t care what you want James, it is not my name.”
“James isn’t mine either.”
Okay, wait, pause.
What?!?
Regulus looks at James and tilts his head slightly, trying to find any hint that the boy is lying. “Huh? What are you talking about? Yes, it is.”
“Hmm.. No, Regulus I’m pretty sure I know my own name.”
“No, I don’t think you do because your name is James.”
“No, it’s not.” Sirius chimes in smiling and Regulus shoots him his award-winning death glares.
“You stay out of this.” He calls out to Sirius before looking back at James. “Your name is James Fleamont Potter.”
James only smiles and leans up on his elbows looking at Regulus, with eyes that could make the boy fold and reveal all his secrets if the older one dare asked. “Technically my name is Fleamont James Potter Jr, but when I was a few months old apparently mum and dad found out it was complicated because they kept calling me Monty, but dad goes my Monty, and honestly the only other name to get out of Fleamont is Flea and.. Yeah, no thank you, so they decided for me to go by my middle name, James.”
“Oh,” muttered Regulus as he soaks in the new information.
“So, you’re a Jr too? Cool!” Barty smiled at James and James nodded at him.
“Yeah, guess it is cool, I like being named after my dad.”
“Oh, well then that only makes one of us.”
“Anyways!” Sirius jumps up from the bed standing on his feet stretching a little, knocking Regulus out of his train of thought as he thinks about the new information he was just given about James, or well, Fleamont Jr apparently. “I’m bored so what are we doing?”
“Again, I say, we are doing nothing,” Regulus protested.
“Come on Reg!” Sirius whined.
“No.”
“Regulus,” This time it was Barty.
“No, you just want to go and hang out with Peter.”
“Come on Reg it could be fun.” Tries Dorcas, he’s surprised she wants to go with the band of misfits.
“No.”
James looked at him and gave the boy his best puppy dog eyes, pouting his lips out a little. “Please Regulus?”
That’s how Regulus finds himself walking to an old park in the countryside, a few minutes' walk away from the Potter manor an hour later.
Why did I agree to this? Thought Regulus as he rolled his eyes, pulling down his jumper over his hands on the chilly night weather.
“March Sirius! March!” Marlene shouted from Sirius’s back, carrying the girl as they laughed, and Sirius ran through the dimly lit street. The McKinnon’s, Pettigrew’s, and Potter’s all lived next to one another, so when everyone agreed to go to the park down the street Peter rushed over to Marlene’s house and forced her to come with them all.
“Remind me again why I agreed to this.” Regulus looked at Pandora, shivering from the coldness, Regulus was naturally cold blooded and ran cold all the time, he was always seen with a jumper, or sweater, or something of the sort. But tonight, his jumper apparently isn’t thick enough to keep away the chill in his bones.
“Because James asked,” the blonde says with a smile on her face.
“Of course, stupid James,” muttered Regulus “stupid fucking pout that makes me say stupid stuff.”
“I’m quite certain that if he smiled at you and asked for your kidney, you would rip it out yourself and hand it to him.”
“Hmm.. Wanna test that theory, Panda?”
“Rather not honestly. I like you with both kidneys, Reggie.”
“Mhm whatever you say.” Regulus tries to act disappointed, but he looks up at her with a soft smile.
She grabs his hand, intertwining their fingers and Regulus lets her, just like he does every time. He’s not the biggest fan of physical touch but sometimes, with some people it doesn’t bother him, for example, Pandora, Barty, Dorcas, Evan and Sirius can touch him more times than not, it’s not a problem, other people though, it feels like his skin is crawling and his bone will jump out. He feels dirty.
Pandora swings their hands up and down skipping and he has no choice but to follow her with the other group.
“Reg! That’s my sister's hands off!” Evan shouted, glaring but with no real heat, he actually looks like he’s gonna start laughing.
Pandora only pouts and wraps her arms around Regulus’s “But bubby I love him!”
Regulus rolls his eyes at his friend's antics but doesn’t say anything, watching as Barty lights a cigarette and wraps his arms around Peter.
“Bart, give me one.” Demanded Regulus, reaching his hand out towards the boy.
“Oy, get your own.”
“Sharing is caring, Bartimus.”
“That rich coming from you Black,” Barty rolls his eyes but passes Regulus a cig and the Slytherin takes it gladly.
“Got a light?”
“Salazar Reg, want me to smoke it for you too?” Barty chuckles, passing Regulus a lighter and Regulus lights it as the group makes it to the park.
Regulus pockets the lighter as Pandora pulls away, either because of the smoke or because they made it at the park Regulus isn’t sure which one. Pandora was never a fan of the boy's smoking habits, but it’s not like Regulus smoked a lot, he’s more of a social smoker than anything. Or he has one when he needs to take the edge off, or is drunk but other than that. He’s not a chain smoker like Barty.
Regulus watches as the group runs to the abandoned park. Sirius throws Marlene off his back as he and Remus race to the monkey bars with Potter. Marlene ends up going to the big oak tree at the corner of the park and Dorcas follows her, the pair climbing up on the branches. Pandora, Evan, Pete, and Barty go to the castle in the middle of the park, with a slide connected to it as they laugh and go down it one by one. Everyone’s acting like a child. He can hear the laughter of James and Remus when Sirius falls off the monkey bars, or the flash of the Muggle camera Peter brings as he documents everyone around them. Regulus kicks the mulch on the group as he puffs the cig making his way to the rusty swing set, sitting on one of the only two swings on the medal post.
He enjoys the moment to himself, well that is until he smokes through half his cig and James walks over sitting on the other swing.
“You’re not moving, need a push?”
“Go away James.”
He laughs, a full-hearted laugh that makes Regulus' stomach dip every time. “Again, you’re so mean, but I wanted to come over anyway. Are you not enjoying yourself tonight, Reg?”
Regulus let the nickname go and slip out as he only huffs. “I was until you came over.”
“Come off it, you like me, I know you do.”
I do
“You’re rather annoying actually.”
“I like to think of it as charming.”
“Oh do you now?”
“Yes sir, what you see as annoying I see as charming.”
James laughs again, and he has to admit he’s loving this exchange between him and Regulus. Truth be told he came over here because Regulus looked like he needed a pick-me-up and who’s better at doing that than James. The Gryffindor can’t explain it but he’s always had a draw to Regulus, always wanting to make sure he was okay and happy. Like this urge in his bones that he needs to be near him at all times, a pull if you will. It took years for James to properly put a name to it.
Love.
It has to be, because he’s never felt this way for anyone. Yeah he has a pull to Sirius, Peter, Remus, Lily, Marlene and all of them but with Regulus it’s different, stronger, scarier, because he knows, deep in his heart he knows that if anyone made the boy cry James would burn the world to the ground. If someone broke Regulus’s heart he would carve out his own on the spot to give to him, because in his mind it’s already Regulus’s. Everything of James’s is Regulus’s even if the younger boy doesn’t know it yet.
Take my heart, take all of it, make it yours. Use it, break it, hold it. Whatever you want as long as you do it, please. Godric please, please, please Reg.
But James knows in reality he can’t say that, so what he does say is much, much different. “Let me take a drag,” he smiles, reaching over to take the cig out of Regulus’s hand before the boy could answer yes or no.
“Hey!” Regulus pouts, trying to take it back but James already has it between his lips taking a puff.
“You’re cute when you pout,” James says simply as he blows the smoke out. Regulus looks away, hiding his face behind his curls.
“I’m not pouting.”
“You were pouting sweetheart.”
“Fuck off.” Regulus replies as he looks up at the stars and James follows his line of sight.
“Beautiful aren't they?”
“Breathtaking actually,” whispers Regulus, “you know at Hogwarts I would sneak off to the Astronomy Tower almost every night to look at them.”
I know, James wanted to say. I know because I watch you there almost every night, with my map that tracks everyone in the whole school. I use it to track you, to make sure you’re okay, and not anywhere you don’t need to be. To make sure you’re not with Avery, or Snape, or Mulciber. To make sure you’re safe.
“Oh wow,” is all James could think to say, “never got caught?”
Regulus snorted, grabbing the cigarette back from James. “No,” he smirked, taking a puff, “because unlike you guys, I’m actually sneaky.”
“We can be sneaky.”
“You all get caught all the time for every prank you pull.”’
“I-Yeah okay that’s-that’s fair but what’s the point of pulling off an epic prank if you can’t take credit?”
“Mhm, if you say so.”
“I do say Reggie.”
Again, Regulus lets the nickname slide, not commenting about it as he takes one more puff before throwing the cig down. They sit there in silence, listening to the squeak of the swing chains as they flow a little in the window. James stands up and for a moment Regulus thinks he’s going to leave, that he got bored and wanted to go have fun with his actual friends. But James only smiles and walks behind Regulus causing the boy to shake his head.
“No, no James-“ He tries but not quick enough as James starts pushing him on the swing laughing.
“Come on Regulus, have a little fun!”
“Okay! Okay jus-just not too high!” Shouted Reg as he kicks his feet and squeezes hard around the metal chain of the swing, so hard his knuckles might turn white.
James laughs and pushes him high. “You’re fine! Look, it's fun!”
“For you maybe!”
“Open your eyes.”
Regulus shakes his head squeezing them even tighter.
Don’t look down.
Don’t look down.
Don’t look down.
Realistically he knows he’s stupid for being afraid of heights when he’s literally a quidditch seeker, but he can’t help it, at least a broom he trusts, he knows he won’t fall. This is a rigged, old, rusted Muggle swing that could easily snap in two. This swing and a broom are not the same.
“No thanks! I’m good as I am!”
“Come on Reg! Look!”
And he does, he opens his eyes because whatever James Potter wants, Regulus Black will do.
When he opens his eyes, he’s shocked by what he sees, it’s like he’s flying, high in the sky, like a broom. He can feel the wind in his face, moving his hair, James hands on his back as he pushes Regulus, and he feels weightless like he does when on a broom.
“I’m flying!” He shouts, smiling. “James, I'm flying!”
“You’re flying Reg!” James laughs out pushing him harder.
Sirius hears his little brother yelling about flying and looks over to see James and Regulus on the swing, Regulus with that big smile on his face as he laughs, tilting his head back.
“Hey,” Remus whispers, knocking their shoulders together as he too looks at the scene. “He’ll be okay.”
“Yeah..” Sirius mutters smiling at his boyfriend as he grabs Remus’s hand, intertwining their fingers together. “I know. He’ll be just fine.”
That’s his baby brother, Regulus Arcturus Black. He has curly black hair that comes just above his chin, with gray eyes like Sirius. He likes Quidditch, and romance books even though he won’t admit it, cats, the sound of rain hitting the roof, and potions. He also likes being a sarcastic little shit and acting like he’s tough and has no emotions when in reality he loves with his whole heart, he puts his heart and mind into everything he does. When he was little, he used to cry if Sirius killed a bug because “Siwis, what if they ha-had a family..” Sirius is the only one that knows that side of Regulus. Of how thoughtful and caring he truly is, he doesn’t let that side of him show often, and the older Black sibling wishes that he did.
Remus and Sirius are sitting on top of the monkey bars, their legs hanging down swinging as they pass the blunt back and forth. James is more of a social smoker when it comes to weed, and Peter doesn’t like the feeling of a high so for now the boyfriends are smoking one on their own.
“I love you.” Remus says softly as he just looks at Sirius, he does that a lot, just looks at the beauty of the boy. He doesn’t know who he pleased to make Sirius fall for a monster like him but whoever it was he’s forever grateful.
“And I love you Remus Lupin.” Sirius takes a drag from the joint, breathing it in before leaning towards Remus and blowing it into his mouth as they kiss.
Remus groans into the kiss as he reaches up and lightly pulls on Sirius’s hair, which he knows drives the older boy crazy, causing Sirius to lean in more and deepen the kiss. Remus pulls away after a while, needing to blow the smoke out of his lungs as they start burning and Sirius grabs his chin looking at him in awe.
“Oh, oh Remus the moon would be jealous of you.”
Blushing Remus tries to pull away, after over a year of dating Remus still isn’t used to Sirius’s compliments. “Sirius,” he groans a little and Sirius smiles leaning in to kiss down Remus’s chin.
“The moon should be jealous of your beauty,” he mutters against the scars he kisses on. “Merlin, even the stars would be.” Remus groans again, putting his hands on Sirius’s shoulders to keep himself steady.
“Hey! If you guys are done making out, we would love to hit that joint!” A voice calls, making Sirius pull away from Remus and shoot a glare down at Barty for ruining the mood as he, Evan, Peter, and Pandora climb up to the monkey bars.
“Crouch, do you mind-“ Sirius starts.
“Oy! Black has a joint?!” Calls out Marlene jumping out of the tree with Dorcas following behind her, walking over to them.
“Yeah, and he’s being stingy with it.” Evan says grabbing the rolled joint out of Sirius’s hands and taking a push. Sirius tries to look offended, but Remus just laughs and lays his head on his boyfriend's shoulder.
“Yeah, Pads, Godrics, so stingy.” He whispers in Sirius’s ear and the boy only shakes his head as the group passes around the joint.
“Reg!” Calls Barty, making Regulus and James look up at him and James to stop pushing Reg. “Stop flirting and get over here! Your brother has some gas!”
“Flirting?” Sirius asks, raising an eyebrow and Dorcas smiles a little.
“He’s just being a dick,” she kicks Barty in the leg causing him to almost drop the joint before passing it to Evan.
James and Regulus look at each other for a long time and seem to be having a conversation with nothing but their eyes before they both nod and walk over to the group. There they all sit, around the monkey bars, passing around a joint getting stoned, telling jokes, laughing, telling stories, for hours before they agree it’s time to go home.
This. Regulus thinks as he looks around and sees Evan talking to James, Barty poking fun at Sirius and Sirius doing the same to him, and Dorcas, Marlene, Panda, and Peter talking about magical creatures together.
This is the family I’ve been looking for, isn’t it?