Chapter 1
Regulus didn't like the sun. July was striking in, the height of summer, and all he could think about was how the warmth feeling on his skin made him want to rip himself inside-out.
The amount of time wasted in front of the mirror, putting on old t-shirts and taking them off the second after, was frustrating to say the least.
"You're going?" his classmate ran up to him as Regulus walked outside the building.
"Uh–" he turned to the side, slowing down his pace enough for the boy to catch him, but not to make him stop on the path, "Yeah. Why?"
"I thought you were going to Hestia's house," he said, gripping his backpack strap tightly.
Oh, fuck me, Regulus thought.
When starting his radiology course last year, Regulus didn't actually realise he would have to socialise with his classmates; which is a little bit embarrassing, since you have to socialise everywhere.
"No, sorry," he didn't mean the apology, "I'm going to get a tattoo in about one hour, I really have to get going."
The tattoo wasn't a lie, at least. He had planning on getting a tattoo for months, and once he got the money and the chance to do it, no time was wasted on scheduling it.
"Oh," he seemed a little disappointed, and Regulus breathed in, locking the air inside his lungs.
A polite, awkward smile grew on his face, as he looked to the street, in hope Caradoc would get the message.
"Next time, maybe."
"Sure. We'll miss you."
"Bye, then."
"Bye, Regulus."
A suppressed sigh was released the second Regulus felt he was far enough away.
Leaving High-school fed him with the idea that only teenagers were obsessed with partying and bonding with their classmates — maybe he was wrong, or maybe his classmates were still stuck at the age of seventeen.
It wasn't like they were terrible and insufferable, but Regulus had a talent for finding annoying things in everyone — especially in the ones he didn't know much about. So, having Caradoc and other people in his class invite him to parties and such, didn't make him feel welcome. Actually, it made him disturbed, as if they had the obligation to know that Regulus wasn't the biggest fan of attending parties of people he didn't know.
As he walked down the street, Regulus took out his phone, texting his boyfriend with some updates of his day and didn't wait for a response before putting his headphones on, blasting the only Fleetwood Mac songs he liked on his ears,
Every Time either ABBA or Fleetwood Mac came up on his playlist, Regulus was sent back to the time he and Sirius were actually more than strangers who shared the same genes. It used to be, what Regulus believes, the best time of his life, where he would lay on his sister’s bed and learn more about her in every way he could. Music was the main part of it all, as it was, and still probably is, one of the most remarkable things about Sirius’ personality.
Sometimes, he would hate the songs she would put on. He would find it either too much, or too boring. That doesn’t mean he didn’t fall in love with some, though.
Whenever he did, Sirius would get excited, and therefore, Regulus would be happy.
Now, those songs didn’t mean much for him apart from being comfortable for his brain. It didn’t make him as happy, but, also, it stopped making him feel nauseous after a few years of no contact with Sirius.
He waited for the train, looking at people walking around the station, which was probably the best part of having to take public transport. He enjoyed analysing everyone, and unconsciously making up little stories for each person as if they were characters in his book. Regulus liked the sensation of it, even though, every so often, he felt too overwhelmed by the awareness it came with — the reminder that everyone has a life just like him, that they are not just empty side-characters in the story of his life.
He squeezed himself into the train, holding onto the train pole as the people accommodated themselves onto their seats. His destination wasn’t far enough for Regulus to have time to sit and relax, so, instead, he just scrolled through his phone with his free hand, replying to Remus every now and then.
Gideon’s tattoo studio was always attractive to Regulus’ eyes — the red, yellow and black colour scheme always highlighted itself from the boring, beige street it was placed in. It fit Gideon’s personality so perfectly Regulus could not explain the reason.
He took off his headphones, letting it rest around his neck before he walked in. Someone was talking to Gideon, and Regulus made his way to the nearest chair.
He looked around. Even though he wasn’t getting his first tattoo, nervousness was still making its room inside Regulus’ stomach.
Obviously, he trusted Gideon. Besides being an amazing tattoo artist, he was also a great person, as Regulus met him during his school days. However, the thought of regret, and the insecurity he had on his choice was too much for him to handle.
At twenty-four years old, anxiety was a feeling Regulus was familiar with, so, there was nothing he could do besides taking a deep breath and get through the situation as fast as he could.
“Hi,” he heard Gideon taking him out of his thoughts, “You’re early.”
“Hi,” he stood up, greeting the man with a quick hug, “Yeah, sorry about that. The train only gets on time whenever I am not late.”
He laughed quietly, “No worries. Lucky for you, my last client is done, so I don’t see a reason why I would make you wait twenty minutes to start.”
Regulus followed Gideon around the studio, and soon enough, they started debating about the tattoo. That was the part Regulus hated the most, because he couldn’t quite explain how he wanted it; so, he usually just agreed with everything Gideon said, letting all the work fall onto his hands.
“Alright, Reg,” Gideon started, “I know you have a good pain tolerance, but I hope you’re aware that the rib cage is one of the most painful places to get a tattoo on.”
Ok, maybe Regulus should have taken the pain into consideration.
“I’ll be okay,” he said, hoping that would be enough to make it true.
It couldn’t possibly be that painful. Regulus has around eight tattoos, and none of them were bad — so, this one couldn’t be either.
He hoped so.
After Gideon mentioned the pain he might feel, Regulus became too aware of himself and all sensations. He nodded when Gideon asked if he was ready to start for good, and cursed himself for being nervous about it.
About fifteen minutes later, Regulus realised that, yes, it was terribly bad; but he managed to convince himself it was all anxiety.
“How have you been, by the way?” Gideon asked carefully, and Regulus had to rethink his entire life until that moment to come up with any answers.
“I’ve been fine, I started a radiology course last year, don’t know if I told you.”
“No, you definitely have not. Is it nice?”
“I mean, I chose it. It would be kinda dumb if I started something I knew I wouldn’t enjoy,” he had to take a deep breath in the middle of the sentence.
Gideon giggled softly, “That is a very valid point. I never saw anyone interested in radiology in my entire life. You never fail to surprise, Regulus.”
Regulus let out a shaky breath in order to communicate that he found it funny — ruining the tattoo was not something he was looking for.
“Yes, I suppose it is a… weird interest. I mean– not weird. It’s a very common interest; but for me… Yeah.”
“You’re young, you have nothing to lose in learning new things.”
“Exactly. I just thought ‘Why not?' And I went for it, because, actually, I am good at medicine topics.”
“Good doctor we have ahead.”
“Nah,” he immediately replied, “Would you think I’m crazy if I told you I have no desire to work with this?”
Gideon took a few seconds to reply, “Uh– Yeah, I think.”
“Okay, this is hurting a little bit, so I hope you don’t mind me rambling,” he warned, taking a deep breath.
“Do you want a little break?” he asked in a quiet giggle.
Regulus looked down, shaking his head, “It’s fine.”
These types of situations always caused Regulus to talk too much. Maybe it was the pain consuming his brain, or maybe Regulus was too comfortable with Gideon to deprive him of hearing unnecessary things about his life. Gideon nodded, as a consent for Regulus to keep going.
“So,” Regulus started, lying his head back once again, “I love studying, and I need to put my perfect school grades to work,” Gideon let out a funny sigh, “Which means that, if I have what I need to study things I am interested in, I might as well just do it. Of course, not in an impulsive way, I always talk with Remus or my friends first for a couple of months before jumping into classes.”
“Oh,” he started, looking up. Regulus met his blue eyes, “You and Remus are still standing?”
“We definitely are,” he said.
“How many years is that?”
Regulus blinked, looking at the lights in the ceiling. Remus and Regulus started being friends way back in the day; just a few months after Remus started walking alone around school. They started meeting up in the library for study sessions, even though they were one school year apart. And, soon enough, during the last summer break Regulus had, they started dating. Looking back, he was only sixteen.
“I’d reckon it would be almost eight years,” he took some seconds to confirm, “Yes, eight years in August.”
Saying that out loud made him fall into a temporal spiral. It was crazy for Regulus to think that someone would ever like him enough to stay in his life in free will; but Remus proved him wrong by never leaving his side, even when Regulus showed the worst part of him — the part that he stopped showing people after he realised that, maybe, it was the reason why they all left.
To him, Remus was way more than a boyfriend. He was something he could count on, for everything… Maybe that was the reason they are lasting so long.
“Damn,” Gideon let out, “That’s a whole life.”
“Yeah. Kinda insane now that I think of it.”
“I understand. Time flies, especially when you’re making the best out of it.”
An unplanned laugh escaped his lungs, “I wouldn’t say I am making the best of it.”
“You’re doing the things you want, some people don’t.”
He sighed. Leaving his parents’ house was the reason Regulus stopped caring so much about what he should do in order to get a perfect life. All those years of constant no’s to everything he wanted filled him up until the day he was finally free to do whatever he felt like doing. Therefore, once he moved out with Remus, Regulus started doing everything he wanted to do as a way to make himself feel more free and in control of his own actions and life.
A few hours passed by, and Regulus got himself used to the pain circulating his ribcage. Talking to Gideon definitely helped, as they started to share their life stories, and gossip about people the other didn’t know about.
He wouldn’t consider him a friend, but Gideon was surely someone Regulus could trust — and that meant a lot.
It was around eight o'clock at night when Regulus got home, knowing Remus would be back from work. He let out a deep breath, sliding his back onto the floor.
“Remus,” he called as a warning of his presence.
It didn’t take long for the man to leave their bedroom, still wearing his everyday clothes. He had a tired face, something that Regulus was starting to get used to, but a soft smile was still standing on his lips as he embraced Regulus, leaving a soft kiss on his lips.
“Can I see?” he asked, referring to the tattoo.
Regulus lifted his shirt, showing the protected tattoo of the Coraline movie’s cat. It was simple, but the amount of painting still made Regulus want to faint when remembering the pain. Remus had, at least, fifty percent of the decision for the tattoo.
Coraline was one of Regulus’ favourite movies, and, since always, he mentioned how much he held a deep connection to it. When Regulus explained to Remus how he wanted to tattoo something with true reasoning, his first suggestion was that one. The boy was aware of how Regulus could go on an one-hour long speech about the deep and truthful meaning about the character — and it was something he would forever appreciate.
Regulus clearly liked it, as it was now carved onto his skin.
“It’s so lush,” he said, careful not to touch it.
Regulus chuckled.
“Lush?”
“Yes,” Remus followed his laugh.
Regulus slowly shook his head, taking Remus into a slow kiss, smiling against his skin.
It was nice, warm, comfortable.
“I am starving right now,” he said, and Remus placed his hand down on his waist, throwing his head back.
“Sorry,” he started, “I was so tired from work that I didn’t even think about dinner.”
“That’s okay,” he reassured his boyfriend, knowing how quick he was to blame himself over small things, “I can make something for us.”
“I don’t want to–”
“It won’t bother me,” he said, stepping back so he could move towards the kitchen, “I’ll go to the mall tomorrow, I don’t have classes.”
“Why?”
“Teachers strike,” he informed, “So, I’m all good.”
“How was your day, by the way?”
“Besides the Hestia’s house thing, nothing, really. Just the same old stuff, studying. What about you?”
“Fucking tiring,” he said in a sigh, sitting down.
Regulus laughed quietly, although it wasn’t funny. He opened the fridge, confirming his theories when he saw how many supplements they were missing.
“Your extra shifts are killing you.”
“I know, but I need the money, and I don't have any other option.”
“Your health is more important,” he looked over his shoulder. Remus shrugged, and Regulus had to roll his eyes.
Remus was a hard working person. He never held back whenever the subject was his job — probably the most committed person Regulus ever met. However, it was too much sometimes. If he had to, Remus would work all night, and let himself sleep for four hours before jumping into a new workday. It wasn’t okay, and Regulus wished he knew how to stop that from happening.
“Just one more week and I am done with extra shifts. I will be okay.”
Regulus focused himself on the toasts he was making for them; chatting about the customers Remus faced throughout the day, and laughing whenever he told something too unreal for anyone outside the coffee shop to believe.
With Regulus’ studying, and Remus working in extra shifts, it was rare times they had to sit down and enjoy their relationship — which was something very needed.
Even as a lonely person, Regulus needed love as much as everyone else; and their professional lives were taking it from him.
“I’m going to shower,” Remus warned, leaving the plate on the sink, “Do you mind washing the dishes tonight?”
“Don’t worry, go relax a little.”
“I want you in bed when I come back,” Regulus laughed.
“That was a little bossy,” he joked, and Remus rolled his eyes in a giggle.
“I mean,” he made his way onto Regulus, hugging his waist, “That I really miss cuddling with my boyfriend.”
Regulus forced a serious expression on his face, “And what if I don’t want cuddles?”
“Then I will be sad forever. You don’t want to be sad forever, do you?”
He pretended to think, earning a bite on his cheek. Regulus chuckled, throwing his arms around Remus’ neck.
“Okay, okay,” he said, “Let me wash the dishes and I will put some film for us to watch.”
“Perfect,” the boy stole him a kiss before running up to the bathroom.
Regulus shook his head, feeling his smile leave his face slowly as he turned to the sink.
Nice. That was the word to describe what Remus made him feel. He made him feel nice, and okay — that was something he struggled to feel since a very young age.
Knowing someone for so long, and being aware that nothing changes even during the bad times was the biggest reward Regulus could get for all the shit that he went through. However, sometimes, the thought of the relationship ending crossed his mind; because, even if happy, Regulus was still himself, and things were too steady. Everything was too comfortable for him to be sure that it would stay that way forever — that him and Remus would die together.
He tried not to think much of it, tried to push away all the self-sabotage he knew so well. Remus was there, and Remus was there to stay.
Their bed was warm, and that made a knot grow on Regulus' throat, as he was already sweating; but Remus’ fresh body against him definitely made it better.
They were cuddling in silence as Interview With A Vampire was playing on the TV. It wasn’t the first, nor the second time they have watched this film, but Regulus was still paying attention as if he had never seen it before.
Remus moves slightly, burying his head onto Regulus’ neck, “I’m so tired,” he confessed.
“You should sleep. Do you want me to turn the film off?”
“No, no.”
“I don’t mind it–”
“I’m not sleepy,” he said, carefully sitting down. Regulus paused the movie so the noises wouldn’t interfere with his concentration, “I am just tired. Do you know what I mean?”
Regulus nodded, “You should take a night to have fun.”
“How?”
“When do you have a day off?”
“Saturday, but I still have to do a shift from two to ten pm.”
Regulus took a deep breath, “Why don’t you take Friday night to… I don’t know- go out with your friends or something?”
“I don’t know…”
“Dear,” he held his face, forcing Remus to look at him, “Your life is way more than work,” he said, watching Remus blinking slowly at him, “Please, go have fun. For me?”
It took a while for an answer to come, but as soon as Remus sighed, Regulus knew he was wrapping his head around the idea.
“Fine. I assume I can go out like a normal person.”
Regulus smiled, “Good.”
He didn’t tell him, but deep down, Regulus felt bad for not having any job to help him with all the expenses they had. Remus would never blame him for that, after all, getting a job was not the easiest thing — but, even so, Regulus felt guilty.
“Do you want to keep watching the film?”
“No. I think you should get some sleep.”
“What about you?”
Regulus looked around, unsure if he should force himself to rest or work on his things.
“I am not tired,” he said, and Remus got away from his grip to lay down, “I’m going to write a little bit.”
“Don’t stay awake until late.”
“Don’t worry,” he stole a kiss before leaving the bed.
The smoke made its way out of Regulus’ body as he watched Evan organising his clothes back in his cupboard. He had just returned from a vacation in Rome with his family, and Regulus didn’t waste any time in welcoming his friend back.
“We saw this stunning museum,” Evan said, sitting down on his bed, “I swear I could live there forever.”
“Do you have pictures?”
“Yes,” he looked over his shoulder, to check if his phone was still charging, “I’ll show you once I have enough battery.”
“No worries,” he threw the fag out the window and closed it, walking towards Evan’s suitcase, “Need help?”
“Please. I’m defeated. I have a date with Peter today, which means I am completely overwhelmed by the action my life has been taking these past week.”
“Mate, you just came back from a trip. Do you really need to go on a date?”
“Obviously,” he stood up, helping Regulus with the clothes, throwing them to the floor whenever he found one piece that was dirty, “I mean– I went to Italy just two days after we kissed for the first time.”
“So clingy.”
“No, I just like them,” he corrected, and Regulus rolled his eyes, “Will you help me with the outfit?”
“I have to study this afternoon, so, sorry.”
“That’s fine. I’ll call Barty, then,” Regulus tensed up.
His friendship with Barty ended ten years ago, and still, just the mention of his name was enough to make him want to scream.
Fuck him, he thought.
“Sure,” he managed to reply, as complete silence would just be awkward.
“I-”
“What time is it?”
Evan opened and closed his mouth a few times before realising Regulus didn’t want to talk about Barty — he never did.
“Let me…” he grabbed his phone, “Three o’clock.”
“I have to go,” he said, “Sorry if I wasn’t much help.”
“No! You definitely were. I just need to put these,” he pointed to the pile of clothes in front of his feet, “In the washing machine.”
“Alright,” he let out a quiet laugh, “Welcome back, mate.”
“Do you want me to walk you to the door?”
“I’m afraid I’ve memorised the path by now.”
They shared a quick chuckle, and Regulus left, sighing once the door was closed behind him.
He hated how Barty Crouch Junior still managed to make him angry. They stopped being friends when they were around fourteen, and yes, Regulus should’ve let it go — but he couldn’t. Not when he missed Barty for so long, while he didn’t make any effort to at least keep a small-talk relationship between them. So quick to trade him for his sister and their friends; so quick to drop a six-year friendship. Regulus didn’t get it, and he would never get it nor forgive Barty for hurting him so bad.
Since he was a kid, Barty was the only friend Regulus had, the only person he could trust and the only thing Sirius didn’t have. Of course the universe would find a way to give Sirius the only thing that mattered to Regulus — like it always did.
Customer after customer, running around the shop, trying to manage to get everything perfectly — Remus was tired. The only moments of peace were when he went outside to smoke for at least 5 minutes. The wind hits him every now and then, giving him a second to take a deep, fresh breath, and he feels great.
Emmeline walked out, and suddenly, his peace ran away. Not because Emmeline was there, but because she had left the shop completely alone.
“What the fuck?” he said.
“Sorry, I know it’s your break time, but Daisy doesn’t stop calling me and I swear I am going insane.”
He carefully hit his head onto the wall behind him, throwing his fag to the floor before stepping on it.
“Do you really have to take it?”
She looked inside, checking if anyone was at the counter, “I think it’s cool,” she said, “It’s not that busy inside.”
“What if someone shows up? We need at least one person inside.”
“Remus,” she stopped him in an annoyed sigh, “You are worrying way too much. Everyone is either working or at home right now. We have like 7 people inside, chill the fuck out.”
“I’m sorry if I don’t want any pissed off customers because we are taking a break at the same time.”
“Technically, your break is over in 5 minutes.”
“Enough time for someone to show up–”
He gave up on continuing his complaining, because Emmeline picked up her phone, calling who Remus deduced to be Daisy.
She started walking back and forth, stopping in her tracks after a few seconds.
“I’m working,” she said, “What do you want….No. Daisy- Daisy, no,” big silence, “You can’t just call me mid shift to complain about something that I have been vocal about befo– I don’t care!” she ran her hand through her hair, “Look, I really thought this was, like, something about Mia… I’ve told you a million times, if nothing is happening to our daughter, then you don’t call me!” Remus looked at her, questioning what was happening, and all she did was widen her eyes before turning around, “I- I don’t– You know what? I’m hanging up! Yes. Yes, I am. Bye!”
She angrily hung up, putting the phone back into her pocket. Remus sarcastically laughed as she walked towards him with a defeated look.
“I swear to God, if she calls me one more time today I am driving to her house just to beat her up with my bare hands.”
“What happened this time?” he crossed his arms.
“Just the usual shit– She’s mad at me because I didn’t show up to her house yesterday for a date, even after I told her I wouldn’t give our relationship a second chance. She is… insane.”
“Yickes.”
“I know… If it wasn’t for Mia, I would have blocked her everywhere the moment she started acting like this.”
“You guys having a child together doesn’t mean you don’t need to set boundaries. You aren’t together anymore, and you should knock some sense into her.”
Emmeline sighed, opening the door to check inside the shop.
“It’s hard when she keeps following me around.”
“This is going to sound crazy,” he stepped forward, still deciding if this idea was in anyway useful, “But, why don’t you get a new number?”
“What?”
“Look-” a frustrated sigh left his lips, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of work or because of how useless he felt, “You get a new number, and you put your old number on a spare phone.”
“That is not going to stop her from calling,” she says, “Besides, if something happens to Mia, I need to know.”
Remus grunted, hiding his face in between his hands. Shit, he really sucked at giving advice.
“I really don’t know, I thought that you could use the spare phone for emergencies only.”
“If she called me just for emergencies, that would work.”
“If she does anything more creepy, go to the police.”
“And say what?”
“That your ex-wife is stalking you.”
“They’re not gonna give a shit unless she tries to kill me or something.”
Remus knew that was true for the most part, but he'd rather give her some hope.
“She can’t keep bothering you,” he says, “Try to have a talk, even though that is almost impossible; but… Maybe if you’re aggressive enough she will understand it.”
Emmeline took a deep breath, looking around. There wasn’t much Remus could do, as he, thankfully, had never experienced anything like that before — especially with an underage kid in between.
He grabbed his phone, checking the time just to unfortunately realise it was time to go back inside.
“I’ll just have a break and I’ll be right inside to help.”
“Don’t worry.”
He stared at his best friend, feeling so weak and terrible for having no way of helping her. With all the worries of the extra shifts on his shoulders, he couldn’t even have a rational thought about anything in his life.
His relationship was, somehow, getting distant. They tried texting every time they could, and enjoyed the few hours they had for themselves, but Remus still felt like a terrible boyfriend, only thinking about work all the time.
Once he was inside, Remus brushed away all the thoughts to focus on his shift.
Why did Kingsley have to quit? Seriously, Remus tried to understand and think of every possible reason why someone would resign after so many years working in the same place — still, he felt like he could punch Kingsley of how stressed he was by having to work extra shifts due to the lack of help.
The coffee shop was somewhat swamped, since it was placed in the centre of the city and people stopped by when going to work, during their breaks or even just to hang out and study. Of course, it wasn’t always filled with people, but even when quiet, Remus felt stress running in his veins.
Every time he walked inside and put his uniform in, a countdown started in his head until the moment he stepped outside in order to go home.
Just one more day, he thought, but no day was the last day. Three weeks, and even if Emmeline was going to take his place for Remus to catch a break, it still felt like too much.
He sat on the pavement, opening his calendar to count how many days he had left until he went back to his regular timetable — eight. Shit, he thought, closing his eyes for brief seconds.
Normally, that wouldn’t look like it was too much, but for Remus it was an eternity.
“Want one?” Emmeline sat next to him, handing him a fag.
Remus didn’t say anything as he grabbed one, placing it between his lips. He watched as Emmeline lit her cigarette, giving Remus the lighter so he could do the same.
“When is Amelia coming?” he asked, returning the pink lighter to its owner.
“Edgar is giving her a ride, so it depends,” she took a drag before turning to Remus, “Thank you for waiting with me.”
“No worries. It’s late.”
“Do you have a bus to go home?”
“I can wait, but if it doesn’t show up, I might as well just call an uber.”
She nodded slowly, and silence fell over them.
Remus was saving to buy a car. However, his salary wasn’t enough for him to put a good quantity of money to the side — but, slowly he would get there. Public transport might be terrible, but Remus wouldn’t die from it.
“You know, it’s pretty hard to have some time with Amelia now that she’s dating Barty,” she said.
Remus looked at her.
Barty Crouch was a lot of things, but Remus couldn’t help but remember him as Sirius’ boyfriend — as he was during High-School. Always glued to her, making out wherever they could. Remus never thought they made a good match, but, back then, if Sirius was happy, Remus was happy — now… Well, now he kind of despised Barty for dumping Regulus, because, when they met, Regulus could only say bad things about him.
“How long have they been together?” Remus asked as he released the smoke.
“I’m not sure… Five months, maybe?”
“That’s some time.”
“For Amelia, it definitely is. I’m afraid all her relationships have lasted a maximum of two months,” she laughed quietly, and Remus smiled, “She likes him, though.”
“Can’t say I understand.”
“Weren’t you friends with him? In school, I mean.”
Remus shrugged, “Briefly. He was pretty close with Peter and Sirius. I believe I was just the consequence of it.”
Emmeline shook her head with a soft smile, “You don’t like him, do you?”
“I don’t really care about him, to be honest. I know Regulus hates… Or used to hate him. That was enough for me to lose the small interest I had in him.”
“You can’t just hate someone because your boyfriend does.”
“Barty was a dick to someone I love, and a bad influence on someone I used to be friends with,” he justified, “Not that I really care about how he influenced Sirius, but she really did change once they got together.”
“Barty is… Something, definitely. I guess he is just too not bothered about everything. He likes to have fun and not think about the bad things that come with it.”
Remus sarcastically laughed. To him, not bothering about consequences was a problem. But, it wasn’t his life, so he wouldn’t judge.
“Well, I’m sure he has grown. He’s a man now, after all,” he threw the fag onto the floor, smashing it with his foot.
“He’s cool. Maybe you would like him now.”
“Always up to it.”
Amelia and Edgar took around half an hour to arrive, which caused Remus to start getting cold as the night hit the skies. They seemed to be in a hurry, and Emmeline stood up, running up to Amelia, hugging her.
Edgar and Remus shared a quick greeting by putting up their hands.
“Hi, Remus,” Amelia smiled at him, and Remus buried his hands in the front pockets of his trousers, “Have you met Edgar?”
He took a look at the boy. His face surely didn’t ring any bells, so Remus pressed his lips together, shaking his head slowly. Somehow, he felt bad that he had never seen the man once in his life.
“Edgar,” he stretched his hand for Remus to shake.
“Remus.”
“Well, I would love to make you guys have a proper introduction, but me and Emme are a little bit late,” she said, still holding onto Emmeline’s arms as the girl hugged her waist.
“No worries, go ahead.”
“Thank you once again, Rem,” Emmeline weakly smiled at him before walking away with Amelia.
Remus wondered if they would just walk towards their destination, or if Emmeline had her car with her, but didn’t put much thought into it.
“You’re Emmeline’s co-worker, right?” Edgar asked.
“Best friend, actually, but I guess that is also correct,” they laughed quietly.
“You know, I always thought they were a couple,” he randomly said, pointing to the girls walking away.
“Emmeline and Amelia?” Remus sounded shocked.
“Yeah!”
“Why?”
“Amelia talks about Emmeline like she is the only girl ever,” Remus had to laugh at that.
“I mean- Sure, I guess. They do make a nice couple, but I think Emmeline is too worried about other stuff, and Amelia, well…”
“Dating,” he finished Remus’ sentence, who nodded, “Do you know him? Barty, I mean.”
“Sort of.”
“He’s a nice bloke,” he said, “Not sure if the best person for Amy, though.”
Remus awkwardly bit the inside of his mouth, looking around. He really wished he could just walk away, but Edgar was too hooked in the conversation, and Remus didn’t want to be rude.
“So,” Edgar started, and Remus looked at him, “Do you do this for life?” Remus frowned, “Working here.”
“Oh. Yeah, yeah. I work full days here.”
“How long?”
Why was he so fucking interested?
“I’m not sure, maybe around five years?”
Edgar widened his eyes, laughing right after.
“That’s a lot of time. I started working at a bar, around twenty minutes from here. I was previously on a photography course… Didn’t make my life any easier, but it did help in some ways.”
Remus swings onto his feet, looking around. Shit, he thought. He had to say something.
“That’s cool.”
What the fuck, Remus?
“What are you doing here so late?”
“I was just paying Emmeline some company.”
“Oh. Shoot, am I bothering you?”
“No! No, you're not,” fuck. He couldn’t control the lie flying out of his mouth.
“Oh, okay, cool,” he laughed, “Do you… have to go home right now?”
Remus frowned. Was Edgar hitting on him? Shit, he was definitely hitting on him.
Remus looked around, opening and closing his mouth.
“I-” he stopped himself before he could lie one more time, “My boyfriend’s waiting for me, I should be home by now.”
Regulus wasn’t waiting for him, and Regulus definitely did not care how late Remus got home. Therefore, it was somehow a lie, somehow the truth. Good enough.
Edgar’s mouth fell onto a perfect ‘O’, and Remus laughed awkwardly at him.
“Oh. Oh, I am so sorry-” he slapped his forehead, “I- I thought-”
“Don’t worry,” he raised his hand, stopping him from saying anything more, “It was excellent meeting you, though.”
“Yes, definitely. If you want, we can talk more another day,” Edgar said, and Remus wanted to say no.
He wasn’t bad. Actually, Remus was sure Edgar was an amazing person, but he couldn’t help but feel like they were not going to become friends.
“Yes, surely. I have to see if there are any buses available right now, but hit me up someday!” he said as he started to walk away.
Before Edgar could open his mouth to either ask him for his number or give him his Instagram, Remus grabbed his phone, alarming that he was already out of the conversation.
Great, Remus. That was definitely not awkward, he thought to himself, before shutting his eyes to send the thoughts away.
Maybe a miracle happened, maybe the universe decided to go easy on Remus after such a busy day, but as he was walking down the street, a bus showed up, and Remus ran to catch it. The warm feeling inside made him sigh in relief as he sat down and finally relaxed while listening to music.
All his brain could say was uncountable fucks, because, sometimes, it was very tiring being Remus Lupin — even if only for a day.
When he got home, Regulus was painting in the middle of the living room. The boy stopped his work to look over his shoulder, smiling at Remus, who returned it.
“Sorry,” he started, taking off his jacket, “I stayed with Emmeline after work, she was waiting for Amelia.”
“Don’t worry,” Regulus said, walking towards him, “I missed you, though.”
“You always do.”
They smiled at each other before kissing slowly. Regulus slid his hand to Remus’ hair, grabbing it lightly before sliding his tongue into Remus’ mouth, who welcomed it without a single thought.
“How was your day?” he whispered when their mouths separated for them to breathe.
“Tiring.”
“Wanna relax?” Remus chuckled at that, “What?!”
“I can’t believe you, Regulus Black.”
The boy rolled his eyes, “Just say you don’t like your own boyfriend.”
“Oh, shut up! Were you waiting for me?”
“Maybe… Maybe not.”
“Did you know that Amelia’s brother was trying to shag me?”
“What?!” he laughed.
“Maybe I’m crazy, but he was hitting on me.”
Regulus smirked, tilting his head to the side, “So you would shag him, but you wouldn’t shag me?”
“I wouldn’t shag him! I told him I had a boyfriend.”
Regulus touched Remus’ neck slowly, as he looked to his lips, “Well, maybe you should shag your boyfriend, then.”
“Maybe…”
“Remus!”
The boy rolled his eyes before kissing his boyfriend again, this time, less calmly. Regulus let out a struggling noise against Remus’ lips, as he gripped the back of his neck. They started walking backwards until Regulus fell onto the couch he was sitting on before.
“Is this good enough of an answer?” Remus smirked.
“The best of them.”
Remus sat onto Regulus’ lap, taking off his T-shirt, and the other wasted no time in sitting down, kissing the scar Remus had on his left shoulder. Remus held his hair, pulling it back so he could taste Regulus’ mouth again.
“Let me…” Regulus whispered, pulling back to
take his shirt off, throwing it to the side.
Remus pushed him back, kissing his neck, his chest, and moving up to lick back towards his ear. He sighed quietly, and Regulus threw his head back, giving Remus more space to work with.
Regulus let out a shaky sigh as Remus’ cold hands reached his nipples, and then his mouth.
“Fuck, I missed you so much.”
In response, Remus flicked his tongue around
his right nipple, leaving it to give wet kisses all over the boy’s stomach. Regulus’ hand searched for Remus’ hair, but it didn’t stay there for long, as he sat back up to open up his trousers.
When his hand wrapped around Regulus’ still covered cock, Remus couldn’t help but sigh as if it was him who was being touched.
Regulus covered his own face, moaning quietly.
Remus held his wrist with his free hand, in wish to see the boy’s face.
“It’s okay, baby. I know it has been too long.”
Regulus looked at him with lust pulsing on his eyes. It has been months since they have had any kind of intimacy between them — always so stressed over work.
Fuck work, Remus thought before attacking Regulus’ mouth again. Their tongues were messing with each other as he slid his hand inside of Regulus’ boxers.
“Oh, fuck,” Regulus hugged Remus’ head, pulling him closer. A smirk danced on Remus’ lips.
“You’re so hot,” he whispered before kissing his jawline, going for his neck after.
Regulus didn’t reply, too busy thrusting his hips against Remus’s hand. He couldn’t move it as he wanted to, so he gave up on kissing Regulus’ body, standing up.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“Take off your trousers,” he demanded, and Regulus smirked before quickly sliding the trousers though his legs, throwing it away alongside his underwear. Remus bit his lip, laughing quietly afterwards.
“You know, it sucks that I am fully naked and you are not,” Regulus managed to catch his voice.
“Fuck off,” he said before kneeling down, holding Regulus’ hips to move him into place, so easily as if he didn’t weigh anything,
The boy smirked, adjusting himself before resting his head on the sofa, closing his eyes in expectation.
Remus wasn’t sure why he was nervous. Maybe he hadn’t fucked in so long he barely remembered how to do it, still, he sighed, pushing away every concern still cohabitating in his head. Regulus was his long term boyfriend. They were comfortable with each other, and knew the boundaries they had to respect — there was no reason for Remus to be scared of doing something wrong.
He licked the top of Regulus’ cock, hugging it with the hand that wasn’t massaging his thigh. He looked up, and Regulus let out a moan the same second they made eye contact.
Remus proudly smirked, closing his eyes to focus totally on giving Regulus what he needed.
“Fucking Christ,” he grunted, “You’re so fucking good.”
Regulus grabbed the boy’s hair, pulling it hard one time, just to thrust his hips up after. Remus choked, and had to pull his head back, panting as he cleaned the saliva dripping out his mouth.
“Fuck, I’m sorry.”
“You know I loved to get my mouth fucked, but maybe warn next time,” he joked, before lowering his head.
This time he remained in place while Regulus used his mouth as he pleased. While one of Remus’ hands was holding Regulus’ leg for support, the other was impatiently sliding into his trousers after he clumsily opened them.
The moan that left his throat once he touched his needy cock made Regulus hold onto his hair desperately, fucking his face at a fast, intense pace.
Tears were starting to free themselves from Remus’ closed eyes, and he squeezed Regulus’ leg in warning.
They knew each other well, so well that the other boy didn’t think twice before stopping his movements, allowing Remus to pull away, breathing heavily.
As much as he wanted to jerk off until he was fully satisfied, he wouldn’t let Regulus wait. One goal was resting on his mind, and that goal was to make Regulus cum — which shouldn’t be hard for him.
He crawled over Regulus, kissing his body until his tongue was touching his. They moaned against each other, separating their lips once their cocks brushed onto each other.
“Fuck. Please, Remus,” Regulus sighed, “Just fuck me.”
“Mouth?” he asked.
“No,” he grunted in despair, “I need you inside me.”
Remus stood up, kicking his shoes off, and discarding the last pieces of clothing right after. As he did that, Regulus lay down comfortably on the sofa, putting one leg on top of its back, making sure he was wide open for Remus; who quickly fell over him.
Remus felt the need to talk, to say something about his boyfriend — maybe a compliment, maybe something that would make him even hornier; but, they didn’t talk a lot in bed, it has always been like that — Remus wasn’t sure if he was even good at dirty talking.
He sucked his fingers, feeling his brain yelling at him to please himself. He couldn’t, even if it was hard not to. His eyes closed for a couple of seconds — Remus felt the air enter his lungs, and he stared at Regulus, who was patiently waiting while his hand was working on his cock. Remus lost himself for a while, watching the repetitive up and down movements.
“Can I touch you, love?" he whispered, and
Regulus nodded.
“Please do.”
Remus rounded his tongue around his fingers
one last time, making sure they were wet enough before sliding his middle finger inside the other boy, slowly. He watched as Regulus bit his lower lip, crossing his arms.
Without moving himself, Remus leaned onto
Regulus, supporting his weight on the empty spot next to his boyfriend’s head. He kissed his cheek slowly, his nose, his jawline, and then he started fingering the boy at a slow pace.
Regulus held Remus' face, forcing them to look
at each other. Remus could tell by Regulus' expression how he was begging for more — and so, he gave him what he wanted. His ring finger joined the other as he started to become faster and faster.
Regulus moaned softly, starting to
move his hand back and forth on his own cock again. Remus could cum just by the feeling of his boyfriend’s hand bumping into his stomach. He licked his neck, biting it carefully just to make his way to Regulus' ear, muttering quietly.
"Remus…" he called.
"Yes, baby?"
"If you don't fuck me… right now…"
He smirked, "Are you threatening me?"
"Yeah," he said.
Remus continued penetrating him, opening and
closing his fingers when Regulus' walls weren't squeezing him.
"Oh, fuck," he could feel Regulus' hand getting
more aggressive as the time passed.
One thing was for sure, if they stayed
like that for two more minutes, Remus would cum untouched, and that was definitely not what he wanted. He could feel his own cock throbbing for attention, and with that, he pulled back, hearing a frustrated grunt from his boyfriend, who opened his eyes just to close them again as if he didn't have the strength to do anything.
Remus spit on his hand, letting out a
suppressed moan when he felt his hand hugging his dick. His eyes carefully watched as Regulus
masturbated, now so slowly, that Remus could swear he was stopping.
He thought about warning him, but instead, he
ran his cock up and down the other's ass, before penetrating slow and cautiously so not to hurt the other. Loud moans escaped both of the boys simultaneously as Regulus bit his own arm, moving his ass against Remus' dick, who held his hips down, keeping him into place.
"Please," his voice was slowly losing itself,
becoming high-pitched and desperate. Remus bit his lip to control a smirk.
His chest moved up and down as he tried to
control himself not to start fucking into Regulus with no mercy. He closed his eyes, reaching for the boy’s mouth as he entered him with no rush. Their lips touched, but Regulus couldn’t kiss back. Moans were the only thing that left his mouth.
“Remus, fucking move.”
That was enough for Remus to start thrusting, relieving the knot that was staying in his throat. Regulus’ moans were the boost anyone could need, the music Remus loved to hear.
Regulus was squeezing him every now and then, and Remus was trying not to lose all of his self control. He kissed Regulus’ neck hopelessly, as their hips were meeting, hungry for each other.
He could feel the skinny fingers wrapping around his brown hair, pulling so hard Remus was sure his scalp would hurt throughout the night.
“I’m so close,” Regulus moaned loudly, never stopping the moves on his cock.
Remus didn’t answer, instead, he kept fucking into him faster, chasing his boyfriend’s orgasm. Regulus’ legs wrapping around his waist, making it easier for him to thrust his hips up, searching for more contact.
The room was filled with moans, and their skins were sweating against each other’s. By now, Regulus’ painting was already dry, but Remus couldn’t bring himself to care about it. The only thing in his mind was the pressure down on his body torturing his brain.
“Remus!” Regulus called, high and senseless. Noises left his mouth, but he couldn’t make a proper sentence.
Regulus’ orgasm came with no warning. He threw his head back, shaking as he spilled all over his and Remus’ stomach. The other kept going, fucking him through his orgasm, craving to find his.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Regulus sobbed, and that was enough for Remus to press himself against him, moaning against the boy’s ear.
He could feel himself filling Regulus, fast and warm. As soon as relief fell onto his body, Remus let his head rest on Regulus’ chest, still inside him.
They stayed in silence for what felt like hours. When Regulus found strength to move, Remus pulled back, earning a shaky noise from his boyfriend, who threw his head back.
“Christ,” he said, smirking.
“I was thinking about some cookies and a cosy film on the way home, but this was also a great way of relaxing.”
Regulus opened his eyes, laughing out loud. Remus leaned in, kissing the boy’s warm lips.
“Do you wanna shower?”
“Yes, please.”