Gray November
Regulus shivered. It was cold and snowy, the ground was completely frozen and in some places somewhat slippery. It was also very dark. Regulus used to be afraid of the dark, but he was beaten into not fearing it anymore, and he certainly doesn’t fear it now.
He silently wished that he had brought a coat or at least something heavier than a thin black jumper. With a shaking hand he lit a cigarette and breathed in the smoke. Regulus didn’t particularly enjoy the smell or even the taste of cigarettes but it made him warmer and it made the hunger go away. So, here he was at one am in the negative five degree weather, in Novemeber all alone smoking a fag.
He looked up at the sky and at the stars and took a drag of his cigarette. He hated his life, after Siruis ran away he was the center of his parents anger and also the golden child, it was a weird place to be in. He got both praises and punches every single day in number 12 grimmauld place. It was like a really fucked up version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He hated being home more than usual now because Sirius was not there to distract from his parents' abuse. He also hated school. For no real reason, it was the better of two bad options but he still hated it.
He shivered, and looked around in the dark. His feet were going numb and his fingers were red and insanely cold bordering on numb. He should move and walk back to the castle but Regulus finds his feet to be set in place and honestly he can’t even bring himself to care. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t even hear footsteps behind him. Only when the tall figure stood beside him, Regulus flinched back, almost dropping his fag. He turned to face the figure.
“Potter, what are you doing out here?” Regulus said coldly.
“I was about to ask you the same thing,” He replied happily. Regulus shivered and took another drag. James looked at him with slight concern.
“So, why are you out here, it’s cold.”
“Why do you care?” Regulus said, still not facing the taller man.
“I’m just interested, also you’re Siruis’ brother and I doubt he would be happy if I let you get hypothermia.” James says, not unkindly. Regulus doesn’t respond, he only turns when he hears James shrugging off his coat.
“Here,” James says, handing him the black fluffy coat.
“Won’t you get cold?” Regulus says, taking a drag of his slowly shrinking cigarette.
“I won’t, trust me Reg.”
“Don’t call me that,” he says, snatching the coat and putting it on.
James doesn’t respond, then, “Can I have a fag?” He asked, after a few minutes of silence.
“Didn’t know you smoked.”
James shrugged, “Sometimes, not as much as Sirius though.” Regulus sighed but reached in his pocket and took out a smoke for James. The taller boy took it and put it in between his lips. He looked at Regulus asking him a silent question.
“Oh.” The raven haired boy said. Regulus reached into his pants pocket and fumbled out a lighter, he lit it and brought it to the fag. James leaned down the cigarette still in between his lips. Regulus could feel his gaze dance around his face in the light.
He quickly lit the fag and put the lighter back into his pocket. “What are you doing out here in the cold?” Regulus asked after a beat.
“Why do you ask?” James took a drag of the cigarette and looked away.
“You asked me earlier why I was out here in the cold but you never told me why you came out here.”
“Oh, I just wanted to take a walk, get some energy out and then I saw someone out here.”
“So, you came to see why.”
“Yes and you haven’t told me why you’re out here.” James said, turning to face him once more, grinning.
Regulus inhaled that last bit of his fag, “I wanted to think.”
“About…”
“Things.” Regulus said, once more returning to his cold demeanor.
“What kind of things?”
“What it means to exist,” Regulus deadpanned.
“I didn’t know that you’re a poet.” James said seriously.
“I-” he sighed, “I write poetry but I meant it as a joke.” He finished seemingly unable to lie to the older boy.
“Oh! Really? Can I read them?” James said with so much excitement it knocked the bitter numbness crawling through his limbs out of him.
Regulus gave him a pointed look and turned on his heels.
“Where are you going?” James shouted after him.
“To sleep, you seem to be killing my brain cells so I can’t do anymore thinking for tonight.”
“Same time, same place tomorrow night then.”
“Oh merde!”
---
The next day Regulus came back to the same spot. Not because of what Potter said, no not at all but because he had James’ coat and he intended to give it back.
“Hello!” James' voice said behind him, “Bring any of your poetry?”
“No but I did bring your coat,” Regulus started to take off the coat but James held up his hands in protest.
“Keep it mate.”
“W-what I couldn’t, no. James, I have my own coats.”
“Yeah but you don’t bring them do you? Keep it at least I can rest peacefully knowing you won’t die of hypothermia and I won’t die of Sirius' wrath.”
Regulus scoffed, “He wouldn’t care.”
James’ gaze shifted into one of carefully concealed sadness, “He does care about you, he just doesn’t know how to talk to you. He thinks your views align with your parents.”
“That’s not my fault! I’ve spent most of my life with him, he should know what I believe in.” Regulus said, trying to not raise his voice.
“Well it’s not that simple, it’s about who he is. He thinks you won’t accept him for who he is.”
“What, the fact that he’s a poof. He doesn’t think I’ll accept him or the fact that he’s dating some weird half-blood. ‘Cause I don’t really care who he beds.”
James blinked, “Oh okay, right ‘cause he thought you wouldn’t like that. I’ll tell him.”
“No!” Regulus said. James turned to look at him, shooting him an incredulous look. “I want it to be me that tells him that, I want to have that conversation with him but he needs to approach me when he feels ready.”
“Okay, then I won’t tell him. Anyway, wanna tell me what Slytherins strategy for quidditch is?” James asked. They quickly fall back into their banter, when Regulus finally had enough he leaves.
Standing there in the cold gray November James couldn’t have felt happier.