Chapter One, The Beginning
Pass me that lovely little gun
My dear, my darling ones
The cleaners are coming, one by one
You don't even want to let them start
They're knocking now upon your door
They measure the room, they know the score
They're mopping up the butcher's floor
Of your broken little hearts
O children
Forgive us now for what we've done
It started out as a bit of fun
Here, take these before we run away
The keys to the gulag
O children
Lift up your voice, lift up your voice
Children
Rejoice, rejoice
Regulus straightened his jacket as he stood in front of the dining room door. He knew it would be uncomfortable and most likely horrible but there was no way of getting out of it now. He wished that James was there to comfort him, or Sirius, his brother would know what to do. Protect him, help him avoid the horrible situation.
He already knew how upset his mother would get when she'd see that he cut his hair. Even more when she'd notice that he wasn't wearing a dress either, he hoped that she'd just let him get away with it until later, maybe he should have left with Sirius when he had the chance, but he was so scared of disappointing his parents that he just couldn't.
He felt her stare at his hair the moment he walked in, doing his best to straighten his posture. He hated it, even more when he realised how quiet the entire room had got, he could feel Bellatrix already cooking up infinite amounts of insults as he looked up, taking his usual seat all the way at the far left of the table.
It wasn't strange, having his entire family coming over for a meal, it had become even more usual after Sirius had left to live over at the Potters, probably to ensure Regulus would not leave too, ensure maximum security, having eyes around everywhere.
He wished Andromeda was here, she'd know what to do, she'd hold his hand and whisper to him that it would all be alright.
But she wasn't. And they wouldn't speak of her.
'So little cousin, cut your hair? Wanted to be more of a disgrace to our family than you already were?' He heard Bellatrix speak, under her breath in an abhorring tone. Her gaze never leaving him, neither did his mom's, she would have a talk with him later.
He did his most utter best to remain at his best, posh posture and to not fall apart instead.
His family remained quiet, and he dared not to speak a single word unless he was spoken to first.
God he missed his brother... so much. Often he was mad at him for leaving him with these horrible people, but maybe Regulus was just not strong enough to do the same. He deeply wished he had as the tone in the room had become bitter and full of despise.
Narcissa would stare at him every now and then. Regulus would catch her eye and she would look full of worry, only to cover it up after a second with a tone of disappointment, the face he feared so much.
His mother, that was who he feared the most. Walburga Black was a monster in Sirius' eyes and Regulus understood why.
Regulus continued to endure the awkward and hostile atmosphere in the dining room. He picked at his food, trying to not seem ungrateful of all the food that had been prepared in advance, despite the harsh glares and biting comments from his family. Bellatrix's insult about his hair still stung, but he refused to let it show. He couldn't afford to show weakness, not in this environment.
He felt his hands clench around his cutlery.
'Mother, I wanted to talk to you about something,' he began, his voice quivering slightly, but he continued, 'I know my appearance might be a concern to you, but I've been doing some thinking, and I believe it's time for me to make some decisions for myself.'
His mother's eyes bore into him, and she remained silent, waiting for him to continue with her mouth in a straight line.
'I understand our family's traditions and values, but I have to be true to myself,' Regulus said, his voice gaining strength withe very word as he continued, 'I don't want to be something I'm not anymore. I want to find my own path and make my own choices, even if they differ from what is expected of me.'
His words hung in the air, a heavy silence enveloping the room. Regulus had taken a risk. He knew how his mother would react, however he needed to be free, just like Sirius.
He straightened his posture, finally looking up at his mother, who'd put down her utensils and was grabbing onto her wand instead. Now, Regulus was usually great at reading people but her expression, for once, was absolutely unreadable.
The next thing he knew curses were thrown around. These people, who were supposed to be his family, were screaming and yelling at him, to the point of making his eardrums bleed.
Then he felt immense pain, the Cruciatus Curse controlling his nervous system to the point he wished to scream until he couldn't, he wished to run but he couldn't. He would only make it worse. This went on to the point he lay there, barely conscious and physically defeated, with nowhere to go. Tortured by the people he was supposed to feel safe with, who were supposed to protect him, not hurt him for not being able to be someone he couldn't be.
The last thing he knew before he lost consciousness was Bellatrix sitting besides him, a small silver blade in her hand, tracing it down his face, his neck, all the way down to his chest.