James Potter
He stopped walking, his legs paralyzed, and Sirius did not even notice him. He continued to walk, and Regulus lost him. It didn't matter since even if he followed him, from the moment he and James ended up, Regulus would no longer have existed. He had stopped in the middle of the street, but no one was pushing him. Everyone was careful not to overturn the Black child.
The Black child who felt helpless. Abandoned. And the Blacks were neither. Because the Blacks were not weak. Try not to disappoint me. His mother's voice finally put ideas in place. James Potter was nothing but Sirius's friend. Regulus, on the other hand, was his brother. And blood was the only thing that mattered, his parents had explained it to him enough for him to understand. And Regulus doubted that they were always wrong.
So he began to walk again. Even through the surrounding general cacophony, Regulus came to hear his voice, mingling with another. He had just enough time to get around someone to see Sirius jumping into his friend's arms.
And his heart stopped beating.
How long has he not taken me in his arms?
And Regulus realized that he missed the heat of his brother's arms. He envied James, to be entitled to such attention, which even a brother had no merit in receiving.
Without noise, the young boy approached the two young wizards and stood slightly behind his brother in order to hear them speak.
-I have the impression that it's forever.
As usual, his brother did nothing without exaggeration. Regulus rolled his eyes.
- Me, too.
- Where are the others?
- Peter went Sugarplum's Sweets Shop, he accompanied us with my parents. As for Remus, the last time I saw him, he was heading towards Flourish and Blotts. Of course.
- Of course.
Regulus did not talk, barely moved, to give himself a reason for the invisibility he felt. And while he thought he really had to go through the discussion between the two boys, he felt their eyes on him. He turned his head and found himself for the first time with James Potter.
What he saw did not please him.
The boy wore rectangular glasses and thick frames that did not showcase his face at all, as well as a red T-shirt--of course--and unspoken jeans of alarming simplicity. Regulus wondered if he was really a Pureblood, while silencing the voice that whispered to him that he would have liked to wear this kind of garment rather than his exuberant outfits sometimes. Also, James Potter was vaguely reminding him of someone he had met, without succeeding in putting a face on this memory.
-Is that your little brother?
Sirius smiled at the evocation of his brother, something Regulus did not fail to notice.
-Yes, Regulus Arcturus Black, second son of the Great and Noble House of Black.
Regulus grimaced when he heard his brother take a solemn false tone, similar to that of their parents. He hated feeling like he was the source of mockery. Sirius noticed him and hastened to continue.
- Reggie, this is James Potter.
The boy smiled at him, thing that Regulus did not return him, which did not seem to be an offended.
- Enchanted Regulus.
James held out his hand, and Regulus fixed him for several seconds, wondering whether he would actually take it or not. He had no desire. No desire to touch James, or even make him believe that he himself was delighted to make his acquaintance. When he already knew everything about him. But the Potters were a respected Pureblood family; and Sirius's smile, too happy to see them meet, forced him to look good. So, he clasped the hand of the young Potter and withdrew it as soon as the usages of politeness allowed him to do so.
James's smile did not weaken, as much as Regulus's face was bored. Sirius turned to his friend, and they resumed their conversation. Regulus sighed and looked at the watch that his brother had given him. They only had the afternoon to complete the purchase of their supplies. Their parents had been very strict about the time they wanted to return. But Sirius seemed not to care. That did not surprise him. Regulus could do nothing to force him to leave James now, they had just ended up after all. But the younger one feared that the more minutes would pass the risk that they would end the day with his three friends grow up.
- How long have you been here?
- In the late morning, what about you?
- Ten hours this morning. We spent an hour and a half at Ollivander's.
Regulus grimaced, he had no desire for Sirius to recount that.
- Why?
-Regulus tried half of the products before finding the right wand.
James turned to the youngest.
- Is that true?
Regulus pretended to ignore him. Once again the other did not formalize it.
- Yes, he came out with a wand in the heart of Thestral’s horsehair.
- Thestral’s horsehair ? Does it exist?
- Apparently. But you know the Blacks, we like to be on spotlight.
- Non. Tu aimes être au centre de l’attention.
The two friends turned to Regulus. He had intentionally spoken French, not because of stress, not because of the surprise. Just for the only pleasure of seeing James frown. Sirius did not formalize himself; his younger brother was accustomed to doing so when he was in an uncomfortable situation. But Regulus was not impressed by James. He wanted to be understood only by his brother.
- You split my heart Regulus...
Regulus rolled, once again, his eyes, and the two friends resumed their discussion.
- And you managed to shop before?
- I took Regulus to the Quidditch store.
- Trainé
He had spoken again in French, and Sirius translated for James, without a glance for his brother.
- Trained, yes.
- And you converted him?
- Figure yourself that I did. He told me that he would like to try. But I thought that...
Regulus saw very well where his brother wanted to go. Except that he refused to consider the idea that James was teaching him to fly. But Sirius did not understand this, he still did not see where the problem was. All Regulus wanted now was to leave far from here. Far from the presence of James, who made him feel invisible. He pulled on the sleeve of his brother's shirt to attract his attention.
-Il faut qu’on continue à faire les magasins.
- I know Reg.
-Mère a été très claire sur l’heure à laquelle on devait être de retour à la maison.
- I know. Wait two minutes. So I thought you could...
- Sirius je suis sérieux, on a perdu assez de temps comme ça.
- Whose fault ?
Sirius had at last turned to him and had spat out these last words in his face.
- Co-
- And stop speaking in French do you want?
- Fine !
James looked at them without saying anything, looked embarrassed and amused. Obviously, he did not seem to understand that it was not a mere dispute between brothers. And the animosity that existed between him and Sirius was his fault.
- Sirius, I don't mind if he speaks French. I do in Spanish.
Adios Papa, Mama.
- I know why he does this, that's what annoys me.
Regulus no longer listened to what the two boys said to each other. The memory of 1 September came back to him. He now knew why James was familiar to him. He remembered this shaded child, who spoke Spanish. He remembered that he had never seen him again, or even thinking of him. The chance of things made him grind his teeth.
- Reggie, let's go in five minutes, okay? The time others come.
- The others?
- Well Peter and Remus.
As if it were coming for sure. Regulus didn't know them, and had no desire to change that, but that, Sirius didn't care. Because Sirius thought that Regulus would go to Gryffindor, that he would become one of theirs, a friend with his own, and that together they would confront their parents.
Sirius was still a child. He kept dreaming. And Regulus didn't understand how, after all these years, his brother could still believe that they would win.
- I don't want to.
Strangely, there, Regulus got all the attention of his brother. James and he looked at him, the first grimaced, he seemed to know Sirius enough to guess what was going to follow, and the second did as if he had not understood.
- Why ?
- I don't want to spend the day with your friends. I don't even know them.
- Well, I'll introduce them to you.
Regulus clung his teeth to his brother's obstinacy.
- I don't want to know them.
- Why?
A dangerous gleam of light in his brother's eyes. A glimmer identical to that of their mother, and Regulus could almost have been afraid of it if the eyes that carried him if they did not belong to her brother.
- These are your friends, not mine. As Pandora and Evan are my friends, I do not oblige you to speak to them.
- It's true that it must be really exciting to talk to them.
- Sirius.
- Sorry.
- Can we go now?
- I told you to wait.
- We don't have time anymore.
- So go alone, as a great.
The air left his lungs. Regulus had the impression of being back in Sirius's room, repulsed once more. They were supposed to have a good day. Far from their parents and their toxicity. For eleven years Sirius had been everything to him, and Regulus had begun to realize that for a year he had not represented much in the eyes of his brother. Compared to the friends he had made, he was not enough. It may never be.
And while still breathed, he saw James, visibly uncomfortable, sketching a gesture towards them. Regulus shot him. He would not let him dare to do anything, he did not need his pity. Even less than he resonates his brother when he himself was unable to do so. Regulus could handle the situation. Regulus had to deal with the situation. Then he inspired a great blow, stood up and said, in an equal voice of which his mother might have been proud, if at least she were able to feel for him something other than indifference:
- Okay. I take Kreattur with me, I doubt it bothers you.
- No.
Regulus turned, ready to leave, but the ravaged part of him could not help but add:
- I just wanted to spend time with you.
And he went away. It was as simple as that.
Regulus spent the next two hours buying the supplies he needed. Kreattur followed him, but the young wizard had no desire to speak. His throat was dry and his tongue pasty. The heat had risen again, and his clothes were sticking to his skin. He didn't even remember the last time he had drunk. He had almost finished buying what he needed, and the time continued to pass, Regulus hoped that Sirius would have finished by the time they were to be reunited.
As he left Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, he noticed two blond hair in the crowd. Blond hair that became white on contact with the sun. Regulus accelerated his walk to catch up them. He was far too happy to see familiar faces to care about people's eyes. After all, there was still a child, and in the eyes of these people, he was also only a child looking for his friends.
- Evan. Pandor !
The two brother and sister turned around like one man, and Pandora smiled.
- Hello Regulus. Is your day going well?
- You're not with your brother?
Regulus shook his head.
- No, he met friends of his own, we parted.
Regulus knew that he left nothing visible from what he felt, and any other person would not have noticed anything, but Evan and Pandora knew him too well not to see the veil of sadness that made up his pupils.
- I almost finished my shopping, can I accompany you to yours?
Pandora approached him and passed his arm under his.
- Of course Regulus.
Pandora smiled at him, and Regulus returned him to him. And as the small group walked, he was thought that, although the star Sirius was the brightest in the sky, there was another one that shone just as much, and Regulus had met it today.
He had met the sun.
And that burned his retina.
- I said no Sirius. End of discussion.
It was the first time that Regulus had approached his father's office for some time. All because of Sirius. Not that this one forced him, he had not spoken much since his day at the Diagon Alley, and Regulus had no more effort. No, the youngest Black took risks to make sure that Sirius did not take them. As if he could have done anything if that had ever been the case.
It had been about ten minutes since Sirius entered the office to share with him his desire to be part of the Quidditch team. Orion had not even given him time to finish his sentence that his sentence, clear and categorical, had been heard.
- But...
This was followed by a long debate of the deafness between two parties that listened only to their own arguments. Their father was on a good day. This could not be known in advance, hence Regulus' presence behind the door. Although he’s in no need to stand right behind her, his father's loud voice, and his brother's noisy protests easily passed through the partitioned partitions of the walls. Regulus now understood why her mother always silenced Sirius when she took him here.
- I don't want to hear about it anymore.
Their father was on a good day, but that did not exclude violence. Regulus prayed his brother from his silence. Sirius was on his land. The place where they were doing him things that Regulus didn't even dare to imagine. For fear of never succeeding in imagining the worst.
- I would pay for my own business.
-I understand that this is already did.
- Not the broom.
Regulus closed his eyes, panicked.
- Sirius... Shut up… Please.
- What money are you going to pay with?
- Mine.
- The money placed in your trunk is the money of the Blacks. It must serve the family, not the house you love.
-So Regulus will can ?
- If it serves the interests of the family.
- Father...
Regulus did not listen to what happens next. He had felt her presence long before it showed up. She stood at the corner of the corridor. With arms crossed, staring at his son with an icy glance. Regulus didn't even have the courage to swallow.
- What are you doing here, Regulus? Do you want to talk to your father, too?
Regulus didn't know what kind of interview she was talking about, and he preferred not to know.
- I'm waiting for Sirius.
- Did he ask you to?
He was about to lie, a ridiculous lie without consequence, before he remembered that in this house, every action, however small, had its consequences. When these actions tarnished the name of the Blacks. From what it was deep.
You disappoint me Regulus.
You don't give me a choice.
Don't lie.
Don't lie.
Don't lie.
There was no point in lying. She would know. And then she would take revenge.
- No.
- Go back to your room. And make sure I don't have to see you again until dinner.
- Yes Mother.
Regulus took the direction of his room, without throwing a single glance towards the door. His mother would see it as an act of weakness. To reach the stairs the young boy to pass his mother. The corridor, which was too narrow, he had to touch it. Regulus held his breath, made himself as small as possible, as forgotten. This was impossible when he felt his mother's eyes pierce him from one side to the other.
From the corner of his eyes, he lives sketched out a gesture towards him, and at the same time the door of his father's office opened. Sirius came out of it, his jaw clasped, and turned to the stairs. He stopped by seeing Walburga and Regulus. She held his little brother's arm but no longer paid attention to this one.
- Sirius... I presume that the conversation with your father did not go as you hoped.
- You're presuming well Mother.
Regulus no longer dared to move, barely breathing, and did not even try to escape from his mother's grip. It looked like she had completely forgotten his existence, and he had no desire to remind her of her. She had onlyh eye for his brother.
Sirius walked into the corridor, and it was he who grabbed Regulus's arm, who apologized to their mother, and took his brother following him in the stairs. The last thing Regulus saw was their mother's eyes, puzzled. Then Sirius began to laugh, and Regulus did the same. It was not common to see their mother reveal anything other than coldness in her gaze.
The two brothers stopped at the youngest's room without stopping laughing. Neither of them really knew why they continued to laugh. Just because they needed it. Just because they wanted it too. Just because at this moment they could. But as his ribs became painful, Regulus realized that he could not remember the date of his last laugh. And the less he could stop.
There, at this very moment, he forgot the fear given to him by his mother, the apprehension he felt at the evocation of his father, the solitude which was his when Sirius and James were in the same room. The doubts he had in mind the remains of his relationship with his brother, which seemed to be going to tatters.
And as Regulus was wiping a tear smiling, he felt his brother approaching him and his arms encircling his waist. He found himself pressed against Sirius's chest and realized how much he had missed that feeling.
The feeling of being loved.
- You'll always be my little brother. I hope you know that.
Regulus felt his eyes being wet by hearing his brother tell him the words he had waited so long for utter. He almost prevented himself from letting his tears flow, but he remembered who was Sirius. Just Sirius. And when he began to sob, and Sirius clamp him more in his arms, while stroking his back, he heard his brother add:
- Sorry I didn't have been there for you this year. I know it must have been hard, and you've been strong. There's no doubt about that. After all, you're Regulus. The heart of the lion, right?
The station was crowded, and it brought Regulus back a year. Except this time Kreattur was holding his suitcase as well. He was also leaving. Around him he saw children of his age holding their parents' hand, failing to choose between the excitement they felt and the fear of leaving everything they had known until then.
He felt nothing but excitement. He was waiting for it to be able to get on this train and leave this station without his parents. The latter had again made the trip for a reason that Regulus did not know. Probably because it was their last opportunity to watch over their sons. But Regulus reassured himself that here, surrounded by so many people, his parents would not dare to create a scandal.
Like last year, they went to meet Cygnus and Narcissa. This time Regulus took care to remain attentive to what his family said to each other, aware that his name would interfere in the conversation.
- So this is Regulus' first year now?
- We expect a lot from him.
Regulus doesn't say a word. No one had given him the floor.
- He'll go to Slytherin hopefully.
- We took matters into our own hands for that.
Regulus felt his brother's eyes on him. He refused to turn to him. Sirius waited for explanations which he was no longer prepared to share with him. He intended to keep them deep down in order to silence them. Under no circumstances did he want these memories to become burdens. Then he would leave them on the station platform, alongside his parents, and the memory of the child he had been a year earlier.
Kreattur had just come down from the wagon where he had left the suitcases of the two young wizards when the whistle that announced the imminent departure of the train reverberated over the entire platform. Without a goodbye, Sirius ascended the steps, but Regulus saw him waiting for him near the door. Narcissa kissed her father, a gesture of intimacy that contrasted with the cold attitude that both displayed and the tense muscles of her cousin.
Regulus went to follow her when he felt a force pulling it back. He found himself face to face with his mother without being prepared. She held his arm with such strength that he would almost grimaced with pain. But not in front of her. Especially not in front of her.
- Regulus, you will listen to me very carefully.
He nodded.
- You know what we expect from you, what the whole family expects of you.
He nodded.
- You'll go to Slytherin. It won't be otherwise, can you hear me? If I hear that you have had the foolishness to join your brother, nothing will spare you. It is not a Regulus warning, it is a threat. You have no right to disappoint me. Never.
He nodded.
- Okay.
She let him go and he stepped back several steps in order to put the most distance between them. Without more ceremonies, she and her father appareted, not even waiting to see their sons leave. Regulus didn't expect them to do it.
- So, what house do you think you're going to?
- I would like Raveclaw, but we will know tonight.
Regulus heard two boys climbing the stairs of the wagon behind him. All the other witches of his age questioned the attribution of their house. Everyone was apprehensive about that moment. Strangely, Regulus didn't feel any of that. No apprehension, no more excitement. Because his house was already chosen. The decision had been taken on this platform. His mother had done it for him. She had drawn a line, a path to follow. And for Regulus, who had waited his whole life for having one, he wondered if he did not regret it, in the end.
His mother had made his choice. Undisputable. He would go to Slytherin.
He heard the last whistle before the train left, turned to the steps and ascended them.
And like that, just like that, he went away.