For him

I awoke early the next morning as I often did,I had slep terribly last night the memories of lily and her death resurfacing throughout the night yet I was fueled with determination and strength which I thought I had long lost I was determined to give the boy the best childhood I possibly could, not only for Lily but also for him, when I looked closely at the child I couldnt help but see my younger self, a skinny child with clothes that are too big for him, a child who flinches when an adult comes near them, a child who was never really given a chance to be a child.
As I left my room I peered into Harry’s bedroom which I had left half open,he was still asleep his mouth was wide open and drooling all over the pillow charming last night he had had many nightmares many of his horrible relatives,and others of his parents death which he informed he often dreamed this disturbed me deeply as it was highly traumatic to relive his parents death often, I decided I would probably train him in occlumency to help protect and clear his mind from nightmares. I went into the kitchen and realized I hadnt owled Dumbledore he would probably want me to inform him on Harry’s situation and development,I wasnt sure how I was supposed to manage teaching potions, being the head of slytherin and simultaneously raising Harry but i'm sure Dumbledore would find a way to convince me into doing all 3, probably then ending sentence with “my boy”.I prerepared a big breakfast for harry,having noticed yesterday they boy looked far too thin.Meanwhile preparing breakfast I planned out the day, I wanted to give harry time to begin to assimilate to his new life and the magical world,last night must have been a very draining experience therefore it would be important for him to well rested for his first day at Spinner’s end. I decided that after breakfast I could talk to him a bit more and give him a through explanation of the wizarding world and magic in general as thanks to his relatives he had been held completely in the dark and had no knowledge whatsoever of the magical world,it was almost ironic thinking jame’s potter’s son didnt believe in magic .After lunch I could read to the boy instilling in him the importance good habits and academic interests.The clock rang: it was 9 o'clock I decided it was a good time to wake him up.I went to his room and gave a soft knock on the door, there was no response I went inside and opened the curtains letting the soft morning light flood the room “Good morning child, how are you feeling” Harry slowly opened his eyes and gave me a small smile and responded animadely “”Good morning sir! I feel good ,thank you! How about you ? ” I gave him a small nod. I'm feeling perfectly well ,come to the kitchen now please ” while saying this I gave him a quick pat on his leg and guided him towards the kitchen with my arm steadily on his shoulder. Harry sat down, he looked at the food with an anxious and preoccupied face yet he didnt eat he just kept staring at his food,maybe he didnt like it? I didnt say anything yet after while I sternly reminded him “I expect you to eat your breakfast, potter” harry looked back at me
“ oh, ye -s so -rry”

I reminded him gently “ try to speak clearly child,ennunciate your words” harry answered back in a high-pitched voice,as if he was trying to hold back tears “ Its just i'm not used to this, with the Durselys I always made their breakfast, and they um they…”
“ try to continue child, its okay” I reminded him in a soft tone ,harry tried to continue “the durselys well they,they would sometimes not give me food, or just the um the scraps” I grabbed the child tightly by his chin “Harry you will never EVER have to go through that again,” the child looked at me again his face softened and he visibly relaxed “ now eat up the pancakes are going to go cold” I added the and gave him a small smirk to which he let out a soft giggle .Harry proceeded to eat,although slowly. He managed to finish all the pancakes he looked at me expectantly after finishing,I gave him a small nod of approval.

“ I believe you didnt have time to shower yesterday, so you can shower now I have left you some fresh towels and and clean set of clothes”
I gestoured towards the bathroom.The boy almost skipped towards the bathroom and a small smirk was visible in his face.After a short while he ran out of the bathroom, still wet yet fully clothed,his robes reached the floor and the sleeves were far to big,we would need to make a trip to diagon alley soon as I was also running short on potion ingredients,especially bezoars “Mr potter in your next showers please dry yourself before putting on your clothes” I drawled, the child gave me a small nod and then fearfully looked at the floor.
“ I am sure you have many doubts and questions regarding the wizarding world and your new guardian,therefore I believe we should spend the morning clarifying any doubts you have and I will give you a brief introduction to magic”
The young child looked up and then quickly looked back down again,Merlin,when will this child stop being so afraid of me?
“well now,if you would please follow me downstairs mr Potter”
the young boy obediently followed behind me,as we went down the stairs harry looked amazed at everything he saw, his small eyes darted from side to side as he brushed his hand against the railing of the stairs,once we reached the bottom of the stairs we went into my ingredients cupboard the minute I opened the door harry looked at me with pure fear.

“please sir, im very sorry, sorry ill be better, sorry”

What is the boy on about now?

then it hit me, the cupboard, the cupboard …
He thought I was going to put him in the cupboard, that's why he was so fearful of me that damm petunia, the minute I get my hands on her.
Harry crouched down to the floor, his tiny hands covering his head, meanwhile murmuring “ im sorry,im sorry, im sorry”.

Snape stood still for a while,unable to decide what to do with the crying child,after a while he slowly lowered himself down to the floor and sat in front of Harry “Harry” he said with kindness yet sternly, “Harry look at me,please “ he softly put his hands over Harry’s shoulders he instantly flinched, snape sighed, the young boy looked back at him, the pain visible in his tear stained eyes, his cheeks red and swollen still wet from the tears, snape slowly moved his hand from harry’s shoulder to his face gently wiping his tears with his thumb “ Harry, I promise, I will never lock you in a cupboard or in your room, you will never have to the live in the way in which you lived with your relatives ever again” as I said this Harry began crying harder he began to sob and his breaths were shaky then he did something which I never thought he would,as he began to cry he brought his arms to me and hugged me tightly.
I looked at the boy paralized the only thing I could think of was lily I shut my eyes,im sorry lily, im sorry,im sorry I failed, i'm sorry I wasnt good enough,I'm sorry that I dont know how to care for Harry, i'm sorry that he had to live with your sister,I'm sorry that your dead, every day I wish that you were still here, that I could still see your green eyes, your red hair, to hear your laugh, everyday I wish that I had never called you mudblood, but most importantly everyday I think about the day I will be able to be with you again
I hugged harry harder while I gently caressed his hair the sobs began to subsidise.After a while he moved away from me and looked up fearfully “im sorry sir, its just I don’t have very good memories about cupboards, umm could we maybe leave, please?”

“Of course, child though I want it to be clear that while you stay with me I while never lock you in a cupboard or in your room, you are never to go into this cupboard without my permission,this is very important harry, you are never to allowed to go into here alone,do you understand?”

Harry nodded looking slightly less afraid, as harry looked more closely he realised this cupboard was very strange, it was crammed full of different sized jars jars containing a variety of things: jars full of dried leaves, viscous substances others were filled with flowers or plants that Harry had never seen there were also some jars which held brightly coloured liquids.Harry noticed all of the jars were labelled in a very scribbly and spidery cursive handwriting as he tried to read the names he realised they were even weirder :asphodel,bezoars,fluxweed, he had spent hours cooking and cleaning in the Dursely’s kitchen and he had never seen any of these ingredients.

“Has something caught your attention?” Asked snape realising the boy’s amazement at the potions ingredients

“Yes sir, I have never seen any of these ingredients, are they magic?”

“Ah, ha yes I havent told you yet, I am a potions master and the potions professor at Hogwarts,I have a lab and I also keep many potion ingredients at my house, as many times I make potions for myself,or work with other potioneers to develop and improve potions”

“ Are potions sort of like medicine ?” asked Harry, his eyes full of interest.

“ Yes, potions are somewhat like medicine, though most potions work faster than medicine,they contain different ingredients and they are not only used for illnesses,If you have more questions ill be happy to answer them in the afternoon, I want to show you a room that I think you will enjoy much more”

What harry didnt know was that this cupboard was no ordinary cupboard,I pushed one of the jars in the wall and it slid to the side,reavealing a secret corridor I went in and Harry followed close behind.The corridor was very narrow and very dark at the end of corridor was a large room,it was full of plants and flowers some hanging from the ceiling others were growing on the floor,the walls were bustling with books,there some books on shelves but many books were just piled on top of the floor. there were two large windows which looked on to the small garden, but by far the best part of the room was the ceiling which was charmed to look like the sky similar to the great hall in Hogwarts it had been ages since severus had gone into this room as child while his father was working his mother would take him into this room to teach him magic,many times Severus would spend all day inside hiding from his father and the neighbourhood kids.As he grew older this room became a sanctuary, an escape, a place where he could relax him and feel safe.Harry looked around the room in complete awe and disbelief.

“ Do you like it ?” Severus asked, half smirking.

“It's amazing !! I have never seen anything like it before, did you build it? Have you read all of those books? Why do you have so many plants ?”

Severus kept quiet he didnt realize the boy would have so many questions “ I knew you would like the room, I adored it when I was younger as it was one of the only places where I could experiment with magic freely.Now to answer your questions, No I have not yet read all of these books and dont itend to , many of them are extremely old and hard to read,quite a lot of them are not written in English but rather in very old and ancient languages which we no longer use today such as latin and sanskrit all of these books belonged to my mother who was an avid reader and lastly I think the plants give a nice atmosphere to the room, I dont know if you have noticed but this is not the nicest area”

Severus walked over to a large couch situated in the middle room and gestured for Harry to come sit, harry came running towards the couch at a concerning speed

“ dont run inside the house “ I firmly reminded harry.
He brusquely stopped running and sat down on the couch looking down.
“Look up please”
harry didnt look up.
I placed two fingers under his chin “Harry i'm not going to hurt, but please try to look up it is of good maners to look at a person when they are speaking “

Harry looked back up at me.

“Now,Harry I wanted to give you a thorough explanation of the magical world as you appear to have no knowledge of it whatsoever”
Harry gave a small nod.
_
“ As I told you yesterday both your parents were wizards, they were both Aurors, similar to muggle police”

“What were their names ?”interrupted Harry timidly.

“pardon ?” I replied.

“What were their names, sir?

“Your relatives never told you their names ?”I struggled to keep my anger from rising, I couldnt believe they hadnt even told him their names,his parents had died when he was a baby and they itended for him to know nothing of them that was beyond cruel.

Harry shook his head.
I pinched my nose and sighed.
“Their full names were James fleamont potter and Lily potter evans “ I said.

“ Thank you, for telling me, I managed to remember my mom’s name cause I heard it when I have the nightmare with the green light,“Harry said, his voice thick with emotion.

“You dont need to thank me child, I need you to know that what your relatives told you was completely false, your parents were certainly not drunks, your parents they …,”

Snape steeled himself,he knew it was necessary for the boy to know the truth yet the memories were close and painful.
“ they were murdered by the dark lord,He intended to kill you as well however you survived, In the wizarding world you are extremly famous and very recognisable because of your scar many people refer to you as the boy who lived, but you should not let fame influence you “

Harry was in shock, him famous, that was impossible, how could he be famous if he didnt even know magic existed until yesterday ?

Snape continued “In the magical world wizards refer to non-magical people as muggles,although many wizards come from old wizarding families there are many wizards that are half-blood meaning one of their parents is a wizard and the other is a muggle, there can also be wizards which are muggle born meaning both their parents are muggles.In the wizarding world you will encounter many people which are prejudiced against halfbloods and muggleborns believing they are less capable than “purebloods “ or are not “pure” However these ideas completely false and a very dangerous as they can turn into supremacist ideologies you must never believe any of these prejudices you will certainly hear.

Harry listentend intenly soaking up every word Snape said.

snape explained
“In magical britain all children attend Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardy starting at age 11, in Hogwarts there are four houses,When you arrive at hogwarts you are sorted by the sorting hat : Hufflepuff for the loyal and hardworking, founded by Helga Hufflepuff its mascot is a badger and is represented by the colours yellow and black ,Gryffindor for the brave and courageous, founded by Godric Gryffindor its mascot is a lion and it is colours are red and yellow,Ravenclaw for the smart and witty, founded by Rowena Ravenclaw its mascot is an eagle and its colours are blue and bronze, and finally (saving the best for last, thought Severus)Slytherin for the ambitious and cunning founded by Salazar slytherin,its mascot is a snake and its colours are green and silver”

Harry seemed thrilled by Hogwarts, his whole face lighted up, "In which house
are you in Sir?”he asked innocently

“ I am the head of slytherin and I also teach potions at Hogwarts”dunderheads the whole lot of them, I wonder how potter will be… thought Severus.

“ And, um my-my parents, which house where they in sir?” he asked timidly

“ Gryffindor, both of your parents were in Gryffindor” replied Severus calmly trying not to let his emotions run free.

“ Oh, cool, '' replied Harry nonchalantly.

cool indeed, Severus looked at the clock. It was already 1, it was time for lunch.

“ It is already one, so it is time to have lunch, we will continue in the afternoon”

“ Oh, okay”replied Harry as he got off the couch.

Severus then led Harry through the corridor, holding his hand when they arrived at the cupboard Harry gripped snape’s hand painfully tightly, Severus gave Harry a small nod to show him It was okay.

when they reached the kitchen,severus told Harry “ Meanwhile I prepare lunch you can either rest in you room or read, I have left some books on the couch in the living room”

“ Okay, thank you!!” said Harry as he ran towards the couch.

“No running inside the house, remember Harry” Severus reminded Harry.

“ oh, yes, sorry, I won't do it again, “ apologized Harry.

yeah right, I won’t do it again,thought Severus as he began peeling the carrots, he wasnt sure if Harry could read properly yet so the books he had left for Harry where baby books with barely any writing.As he began dicing the tomates,the door rang,Snapes blood ran cold,no one had his adress execpt Dumbledoe and he would always Owl him first, or come through the floo ,he thought fast “ Harry go to your room, right now! he shouted.worried of who may be at the door.

“ wha- what happened?”

“ I said go to your room”The minute he said this Harry ran into his room and shut the door.

Snape went towards the door and looked through the peephole, he couldnt believe what he was seeing, Lupin was at his door….