For him

He stared at the door,LUPIN, Lupin, the werewolf,was at his doorstep.He didnt even know how Lupin had managed to get his address, the only people who knew where he lived were Lucius malfoy and the headmaster. Snape looked back through the peephole Lupin was unfortunately still there now that he looked looked at him more clearly he realized Lupin looked very scruffy, his clothes looked very old and worn his hair was very long,and he looked very tired he didnt seem to have that same unbearbily over confident gait he used to have around potter and pettigrew.Snape realized he would have to do something he couldnt just ignore him, plus Harry was now probably scared to death in his room before he could think of anything to do a big puff of smoke came out from the fireplace and the headmaster appeared in Severus’s living room.

Severus sighed heavily and pinched his nose,he didnt have the energy to deal with all of this today

“Severus my boy! why don’t you let dear lupin in?” cheerfully chimed the headmaster as he had yet another lemon drop. It's a wonder he still has teeth; his diet consists almost solely of sugar.

Snape shot a glance full of daggers at the headmaster.
“Im sorry, I must have misheard you headmaster, as I refuse to believe you are so senile as to think it was a good idea to send that damm werewolf to my house” said Severus through gritted teeth.

“Now, now severus,Lupin was going through a very difficult time you see with the law the ministry recently introduced regarding werewolves he was struggling to find a job and you had already voiced me the concern of how you were supposed to manage raising Harry meanwhile maintaining your responsibilities at Hogwarts I believe remus could stay with you and help you to raise Harry,he was a very nice young man he was also extremely close to James as you were to Lily he could maybe tell Harry more about his parents ”

Snape scoffed,in what world would it be a good idea for Lupin to live with Snape ?
did Dumbledore forget what Lupin and his little group of friends had done to him when he was in school or the fact that man was an actual werewolf?

The headmaster was still there looking at him, his blue eyes twinkling as he grasped his beard.
“ I know you will always do the right thing,Severus “ commented Dumbledore with a small smile accompanied with a look of pity.

Severus sighed very loudly and pinched his nose as he often did . He walked towards the door and sighed again as he reluctantly opened the door.

“Hello Severus,” said Lupin, looking slightly tense.

Severus simply stared at him and pointed to the headmaster,Lupin skeptically walked inside the house and went towards the headmaster who stood in the middle of the living room with a bright smile.

“Hello Remus, it has been quite some time since I last saw you,” the headmaster cheerfully commented as he extended his hand for Lupin to shake.

Lupin shook the headmaster’s hand “ yes, it has been quite some I dont believe I ever saw you after leaving Hogwarts' 'lupin said tersely,the atmosphere was so tense you could Lupin shook the headmaster’s hand “ yes, it has been quite some I dont believe I ever saw you after leaving Hogwarts' 'lupin said tersely,the atmosphere was so tense you could cut with a knife,Severus couldnt care less he just wanted those two to get out of his house as soon as possible.

“Would you like a lemon drop?” animdely asked the headmaster.

Remus politely declined,he stuck his hands in his pockets and looked around the small living room with curiosity.Severus stood still at the farthest point possible from Lupin,not wanting to get any closer to him than necessary.
holding both his hands at his back

The headmaster noticing Severus’s growing impatience decided to start solving the problem he looked towards Lupim “Well,I think it's best to get down to the matter at hands,recently Harry was rescued from his abusive relatives and brought to spinners end by Severus,as Severus is a teacher at hogwarts it would be difficult for him to combine his teaching duties with raising Harry therefore I thought it would be a good idea for Lupin to stay here and help you Severus”

Lupin gave a small nervous chuckle, in complete disbelief of what the headmaster had just proposed.

Severus scoffed again.
“There is no way i'm letting that beast stay at my house” He muttered under his breath, he didnt want to say it but he was also worried for harry he was still very knew to the magical world and still remained somewhat fearful of Severus,safe to say adding a werewolf to the mix was not the best idea. what he was most afraid to say was that he was afraid Harry would prefer Lupin over him,because he was probably funnier,kinder,happier how again he would be left alone, he feared he’d lose the only thing that gave him a will to live although harry had not been with him for even a full day he couldnt bear losing him.

Severus still didnt understand how it was possible for a potter to like him.A nagging voice told him Harry deserved someone better.

“Severus be reasonable, all of this is for Harry” added the headmaster.

“No”coldly responded Severus.For harry, for Harry, but what about me? what if dont want to live with a man who bullied me throughout my teenage years?Who almost killed me?although he knew Dumbledore had never really cared for Severus,if he did we would have done something when he saw Severus was clearly in paim.
Severus stood still in the corner of the living room facing lupin his mouth drawn into a tight white line he held his hands behind his back.The headmaster was pacing the small living room in circles looking at lupin who was sitting on the couch crouched into a small corneras if he wanted to be invisible from the rest of the people in the living room.

After a few tense moments of awkward silence,Lupin timidly looked up at Severus.

“Maybe we could reach a compromise ?” he meekily asked Severus.

“Unlikely” said Snape without even looking at Lupin, his voice dry and completely devoid of any emotion as usual, Dumbledore seemed to cheer up and gave Lupin a small smile which Severus wrinkled his face in disgust.

Lupin continued “As Harry has been living with you for a short time i dont think it would be a good idea for me to move in so soon, as Dumbledore mentioned you are teaching at Hogwarts during the year I could come here to tutor and care for Harry while you are at school and then floo of,that way you wouldnt even have to see me.”

As severus listened, to Lupin’s proposal he had to agree it was not a terrible idea Harry would be cared for throughout the whole day and he wouldnt have to interact with Lupin, but he wanted to make sure knew who was in power here.
“ The proposal is adequate however there are some l rules I want to state : for mine and Harry’s safety you are always to take the wolfsbane potion, as you mentioned you were going to tutor Harry you will first send all of your lesson plans for me to evaluate and approve every week you will give me a detailed report of Harry’s progress if i'm not convinced with the results you will not tutor him any longer.It is of utmost importance you comply with all of these rules if you want to stay here and care for Harry.”

Lupin suddenly looked extremely sad and disappointed “ I'm sorry, I don’t think I will be able to care for Harry” he muttered he seemed completely devastated,his face looked completely devoid of joy it was as if life had been sucked out of him.

“For whatever reason, my boy ?” asked Dumbledore looking utterly puzzled, he was grasping the end of his long white wispy beard.

“I cannot afford the Wolfsbane potion,the prices have been going up since the war and they will probably continue to rise ” he said looking down at the floor his hands in his pockets.

Dumbledore remained quiet he appeared for once to be lost for words.

“ I will prepare it for you “ said Severus,his face as expresionless as usual yet a slight hint of emotion could be detected in his monotonous drawl.

“ Thank you so so much Severus,I don’t know how I will ever be able to repay you! I look forward to spending time with Harry and hope we will someday improve our relationship”said Lupin, his eyes were bright with emotion he looked euphoric.

Severus for once in the whole conversation,looked at him “ I hope we never get past mutual indifference” he drawled.

“ wonderful, wonderful! Now it's best to get going lupin we dont want to intrude on Severus’s hospitality for too long” as Dumbledore said this he gave Snape a small pat on the back.

Dumbledore gave Snape a small smile and then said in a voice thick with emotion.
“Severus im innmensely proud of what you have offered to do for lupin despite your troubled past”

Snape gave a small nod in response.

“How is Harry doing my boy?” asked the headmaster, visibly concerned for the boy’s well being.

“Harry is adapting well,however it is clear those muggle relatives left him severely damaged he struggles with eating and often flinches when I come close to him I domt understand how you ever thought it was good idea to leave him those despicable muggles, Petunia had always been despicable to Lily ever since she found she was a witch.

The detail that bothers me deeply was that he knew nothing about his parentage or magical ancestry he believed his parents were “drunks” who got into a car accident,he had

no knowledge about the dark lord, it was only this morning when he found out the true reason for the death of his parents.”Severus commentend,his voice acid and clearly full of despise for those despicable muggle relatives.

“It was a disgrace what Harry had to live through as a cause of my own ignorance,yet I am certain that the best decision I ever made was sending him to live with you after you rescued him from the durselys”

Snape gave a curt nod in response,he was still angry at the headmaster for being so negligent and taking so long to remove Harry from the Durselys as he thought this,Dumbledpre waved goodbye and He then accompanied Lupin to the chimney(who had been sitting awkwardly at the edge of the couch) and they both disseapared in a puff of smoke.

Relief ran over Severus’s body, he was not one for visitors and especially unannounced visitors during lunchtime. He went towards the kitchen table where he had left the lunch he had prepared that morning.The food had gone cold he cast as heating charm on it he sighed and pinched his nose as he went towards Harry’s bedroom annoyed that he had been forced to leave the boy alone in his room..He knocked on the door not wanting to disturb him but also to give him a sense of privacy which he clearly didnt have in his last home seeing as he slept in a cupboard.there was no sound, severus gave another knock which was also ignored he angerdely opened the door yet Harry was nowhere to be found,Severus grew worried had he escaped when he had not been watching?,had he been kidnapped, ? as his mind quickly ran through all the possible situations he heard a soft whimper come from inside the closet.

“Harry ?” he asked somewhat sternly.

the crying increased,god I am just brilliant this arent I ?

Severus slowly opened the closet door, inside he found Harry crouched beneath a shelf full of neatly stacked clothes his face was bright red and a bit wet, possibly from the tears,he was hiding his hands behind his back.

“Come out of the closet, Harry,”(Who knows if this phrase will be applicable later in his life? He laughed internally) he said, slightly softer than before.

Harry obediently came out the closet, yet his hands remained hidden behind his back.Snape wondered, had he stolen something? broken something? was he afraid Snape was going to hit him?

“ Show me your hands harry” he said firmly yet not angrily.
Yet Harry kept his hands behind his back.His body was trembling slightly, his breaths were shaky and uneven, his sleeves were covered in snot.

annoyed that he had to resort to begging, he softly said.
“Please”

Finally harry conceded very slowly he brought out his hands from behind his back, now Snape understood what he was hiding, he had bitten his nails to the point they had started to bleed.Harry was sniffling, tears falling over his bright red cheeks.Snape was not aware of the extent of Harry’s anxiety and was concerned of the destructive coping mechanisms harry was using.Severus
went towards a small cupboard in Harry’s room where he kept a small magical first aid kit for emergencies,he grabbed some disseninfectentants and salves.

He first disinfected everything and brought out a healing salve and gently applied it over Harry’s small frail hands softly not wanting to hurt him, he them brough out a small flannel to wipe and clean the small droplets of blood.after he finished cleaning up Harry’s hands Harry stayed quiet his gaze fixed on the floor as if he were afraid to meet Snape’s eyes his lower lip quivered and his breaths grew shorter, his body trembled slightly he hesistsntly looked up at snape and asked

“Are you angry?”

“No,im not angry at you Harry” Snape replied,as he continued to assemble the disinfectants and healing salves.

“ I'm sorry”in a soft voice.

Snape looked down at Harry who barely reached his hip, he crouched and lowered his head to Harrys height.

“You dont have to be sorry,when I wrongly shouted at you and left you alone in your room you started to get anxious. Anxiety is difficult and often when dealing with anxiety people often use coping mechanisms such as biting their lips or nails, It can be difficult to get rid of these habits yet it is not impossible” he said in a firm voice, he didnt know if Harry understood everything he said yet he hoped by talking to him like an adult his vocabulary would grow and expand he doubted the Durselys had even talked to him.He wondered how Harry’s relatives acted when harry bit his nails or displayed clear signs of anxiety.

“I'll help you ” he said, his voice filled with certainty as he sat there crouched for a while,making sure Harry felt protected and cared for determined he never felt uncared for or in any way similar to how he felt with his relatives.

After some time,Severus slowly got up and patted Harry’s head“ it's time for lunch” Harry slowly got up and rubbed his eyes,they then both walked into the small cramped kitchen.

On the table there were two bowls filled with soup,Harry’s bowl was slightly smaller as he knew the boy was not used to eating three full meals therefore he thought it would be easier to start with smaller meals.

The boy sat down,his toes barely reached the floor so they dangled below the table,it was quite a comical site to see.

“don’t move your feet so much,”he lightly scolded.

Harry quickly stopped.

Snape looked at the boy,he tried to find some area of conversation yet his mind went completely blank he wasnt the most talkative person and after living almost in complete isolation the task of making conversation with a child felt completely foreign.

“So,what do you like to do Harry? " he asked , attempting to engage the boy in conversation,but getting the feeling he was failing catastrophically.

Harry looked puzzled at the question,gazing at Severus with a befuddled face as if he had never been asked that before but he answered.

“Um, when I lived with my relatives I didnt really have a lot of free time cause of all the chores they made me do, but um when I did I loved to read, when I read I dreamt I wasnt there anymore,I dreamt I was free”

Severus was shocked at how well spoken Harry for being 4 years old,however the fact that his favourite hobby being reading reminded too much of his own youth, of using books as an escape as a way to forget his life, to forget everything,to travel in that world where he felt understood, even as an adult he still used books as coping mechanism,becoming obsessed with every singel detail spending hours and hours reading so he didnt have to face his actual life.

“Well, reading is an extremely good hobby and I believe it will help you significantly throughout your life both personally and academically, if you want I can recommend you some wizarding books”

Harry stared at him wide eyed,a wide toothy smile spread across his face
“That would be amazing, thank you so much!”

Snape responded back with a small nod,and returned to eating accompanied by Harry’s obnoxious slurping.Once lunch was done, Snape cleaned the plates Hw decided it would be a good idea for Harry to have a nap mainly for the boy’s rest but also to be able to have a minute to himself to plan out the afternoon and Harry’s schedule.

“Harry after you have washed your teeth,you should have a nap”Snapw commented.

Harry looked at him,as if he wanted to speak his mouth was open yet no words came out.

“You don’t want me to do any chores sir?”He then asked as if he did not really even believe in what he was asking.

“No potter, no chores” I answered back as I placed a hand on his back guiding him back to his room.

“Now Harry, I think a one hour nap should be sufficient, you can change into some more comfortable clothes in your closet”I confirmed.

“Yes sir”Harry answered, I winced, I coudlnt keep the boy calling me sir forever but for the love of merlin and morgana there is no way he is calling me Severus,or Sev as Minerva has now unfortanenly taken up to calling me.

Harry kept looking up at Snape as if he was expecting something.

“Harry if I want to speak please just speak instead of communicating through those unreadable facial expressions of yours”

“Um,do you have anyteddybears sir?” he asked at an unintelligible speed.

“repeat the question Potter, and this time at least try to ennunciate your words” Snape drawled.

“Do you have any teddybears sir?” he asked again, his cheeks growing a brighter shade of red.

“Teddybears” I repeated,making sure I hadnt suffered a concussion, I knew the child didnt have the most extensive experience with adults,but how on earth did he reach the conclusion that an adult he wore exclusively black, and was the wizarding equivalent of a chemistry teacher would be in possession of teddybears.

Funnily enough I did have a teddybear.

“Follow me mr Potter” Severus commanded.

We walked into the living room,in the far right of the living room there was an extremely old cupboard made of dark almost black wood, as Severus opened the cupboard door the a large cloud of dust drifted out into the living room most of the objects in the cupboard were covered in a concerning amount of dust or thick shiny grimy substance however there was a teddeybear it stood in the far left of the shelf inmmaculately clean,Severus gently got ahold of the teddybear and gave it to Harry, he dreaded having to think about Lily and his childhood but he knew he couldnt keep it from Harry .

They sat on the living room couch in complete silence except for Harry’s finger tapping ,
he looked expectantly at Severus.

Severus started in his usual dry monotonous tone.
“This teddybear was a gift from your mother,when I was child my family wasnt very well off so for most of my birthdays I didnt really have any presents,when we became friends and Lily found about this she was determined that I would have a present for each of my birthdays,this bear was actually on my eleventh birthday on the first hear of Hogwarts.Ever since I got that teddybear from your mother I absolutely treasured it,and I hope you will too.”
Severus omitted the fact that he used to sleep with this teddybear well into his late teens he also used to smell it (god he was weird), he managed to cast a spell on the teddybear so it was invisible as sleeping with a teddybear at the ripe age of 16 would not be well received at the syltherin dorms or in any house for that matter.Even after the mudblood incident Lily kept her promise,each birthday he would receive a package from Lily he kept all those presents in perfect condition attempting to persevere any tiny thing that reminded him of her,after her death those presents became a painful memory, another reminder of everything Lily had done for Severus and what Severus had done in return.

Harry seemed euphoric, he did something completely unexpected he wrapped his bony arms around my waist.

“Thank you sir,thank you so much”He shouted.

“Your welcome child” Severus replied despite Harry’s apparent efforts to strangle him with that hug.

Severus then guided Harry back to his room and left him to have his nap,meawhile Harry had his hour long nap Severus had some tea, and began to plan Harry’s schedule he would have to start to tutor the boy in magic and common wizarding knowledge so he was not a disadvantage at Hogwarts and knew how to get around the wizarding world.As He began to plan of all these things, the hour passed by and it was time to wake Harry up.
He knocked on the door,and as expected no response as he got closer to the door he could hear Harry’s snoring,which more than coming from a child seemed to come from a 55 year old truck driver. He opened the door,and found Harry still sleeping and gripping the teddybear at a concerning intensity,unfortunateky he was also drooling all over the bear.

I promise Lily, from now on not a single person will harm that boy.