love, love, love, love, love, love, love
Wednesday ,8th Setember 1976
Sirius was starting to like his brothers friends. Barty was funny and a little mean, Pandora was sweet all the time and Evan was the most quiet of them all. Dorcas only showed every once in a while, never telling where she spent the day, but no matter how he tried to distract himself, he couldn’t stop thinking about the full moon that night.
He already had a plan in his mind, while his brother was asleep, he would sneak into the hospital wing just to see how he was. When he skipped classes, he hung out with Barty anywhere in school where they could hide. He knew how the boy felt about Evan, everyone but them seemed to know it. But,after his brother insistence, he went to his classes, trying not to care about the strange looks he got when he walked inside of the classroom. The moment he stopped to think about the reasons why Remus didn’t come to class that day, he started to yearn for a cigarette.
He never wanted to be selfish, to always think about himself first, but that was how he grew up. Well, at least until he met Remus. Remus Lupin was the kind of person that didn’t understand that he was the greatest thing to ever exist. Everyone loved him, sweet, beautiful and smart Remus. The kind of person everyone falls in love with without even noticing. He is easy to love, differently from Sirius. That was because Sirius was a free spirit, kind of person either you love either you hate.
Once the classes was over, Sirius ran to look after his brother.
"Reg, what happened? You look like shit." he joked and Regulus rolled his eyes.
"Well, I guess you would know all about looking like shit, wouldn’t you Sirius? Barty was just causing trouble, as usual. And you? Is not that I’m trying to be mean, which I am, but you woke up the whole night and you actually look like shit."
Sirius considered for a moment before answering the question.
"I’m fine, just wish I could talk to them. Even after everything I’ve done and everything they’ve done, James is still my bestfriend."
In fact, James was his soulmate, but he wouldn’t tell his brother that. He had talked to Barty and Evan about the show on Friday and they agreed on playing together. Sirius would sing, Barty would play the guitar and Evan would be the drummer he is. They also said that Dorcas was a bassist and could play with them if they asked. Sirius was already daydreaming about it, he thought that maybe if he tried hard enough, singing would bring the old Sirius back.
Sometimes, in the darkness of the night , he thought about leaving everything behind. His so called family, his country, his friends, everything. But then again, who was Sirius Black if not a loyal dog? It was his destiny from birth, Orion’s dog, always running after him. He tried to pretend he isn’t the way he is, pretend that he’s independent and free, but he’s not. He didn’t think he would ever be.
***
Remus wanted to feel complete. He was being rude to every single person that dared to talk to him near the full moon, that happened to be that night. The third full moon without Padfoot. The wolf missed him, so he got even more hurt than the usual the last two times, feeling like a fucking train crashed against him the morning after. And, now that Sirius made new friends, he was even more mad. He knew he wasn’t being racional, but he didn’t really care. All he could think about was how he fucked everything up a few months ago and now that he’s back his all kisses and hugs with Barty.
James sat next to him on the library, taking of his glasses.
"Are you okay, Remus? You look even more mad than the usual."
"Yeah, guess I’m just stressed about everything that’s happening. It’s hard to forget someone like him."
James stayed silent for a while.
"I don’t think is possible to forget about him. Which is funny considering that he always bragged about how unforgetteble he is."
That was when Remus remembered about the tatoo, unforgettable. The same tatoo on his lower back that he kissed so many times. Well, there wasn’t a place on Sirius body that he didn’t kiss.
"Fuck."
That was the last thing Remus said before taking his things and leaving the library, running to the hospital wing just so he could stay alone for a while, he needed the silence. Madam Pomfrey was as kind as always, letting him stay there as long as he wanted too. After a few hours he heard steps coming inside of the room and then he heard a voice, Sirius’s voice.
"Hi Poppy, I just wanted to ask you if I could come here during the night,” he said, slowly “we’re not talking and I’ll just need to see how he’s doing. I know you’re still mad at me, but just this once, help me please."
There was a moment of silence before she answered him.
"Oh, honey," the doctor whispered " you really love him, don’t you?"
Remus didn’t hear the answer because he closed his eyes and silenced everything around. That was so confusing, to love someone that way. To know every part of him like the palm of your had. Bud remus did, and how he did. And when he thought about how Sirius felt the same, everything just seemed to get even more confusing.