Cursed

As they cleaned up from supper, Jack considered the various ordeals that Ianto had endured over the past weeks, and he could well understand everything the younger man was saying.  It was obvious that the dragon blood had balanced out the unicorn blood in his system, so now his body would regulate as it should, and he was now comfortable and warm rather than constantly chilled.  

And there had to be a feeling of safety somewhere in there for having that balance established within himself, now.  Just as his wand helping him to anchor and manage his magic undoubtedly made him feel safe for the first time in a very long time, as well.

And loved.

Jack couldn’t help but smile, because there was no denying it; nor did he have any wish to do so.  The only thing left was to say the words, but they both knew.  And when the time was right, Ianto wouldn’t be ill or incapacitated or in a place where he had to wonder if was merely guilt or gratitude or pity on Jack’s part.  Then, and hopefully it would be one day very soon, those words would be uttered.  Jack wanted that moment to be just right, and he was fairly certain Ianto felt the same way.

But for now, what Jack could say was, “You are, you know,” and at Ianto’s curious look, he added quietly, “loved.”

Ianto’s smile lit up the room.  “As are you, Sir,” he replied, and then his smile morphed into a cheeky grin that made Jack laugh.

“So is it the wand that’s made you feel this way?” Jack asked, curious, wiping down the bench.

“It’s everything, I think,” Ianto said, looking thoughtful as he paused in putting food back in the refrigerator.  “Like each piece was part of a puzzle, but you couldn’t make out the picture until all of the pieces were in place.”

“I’m happy for you,” Jack said, folding the dishtowel and hanging it over the oven door handle before turning to face Ianto, taking him by the arms.  “And the fear will pass.  You’ll learn to trust this.  But just know, your magic is here to stay,” he took a deep breath before promising, “and so am I.”

“Jack,” Ianto sighed and moved into Jack’s arms, cupping his face in his hands and kissing him tenderly.  After several minutes of deepening passion, Ianto tore his mouth from Jack’s.  “I want you,” he breathed, and Jack felt him tense slightly at such a bold declaration.

He had come so far in a relatively short time, but the fear lingered.  It was only natural, but they had time, and Jack was determined to help Ianto overcome his fears regarding saying such things and initiating contact. 

“You’re safe, Ianto.  I promise you,” Jack reassured, leaning in for another slow, sweet kiss.  “Is there anything I can do, to make you feel safer?”

“I think I just need to get used to it,” Ianto said, his nuzzling along Jack’s jaw uninvited (but certainly not unwelcome) speaking volumes for his progress, already.  “It…” he hesitated, blushing.  “It helps for you to keep telling me, though.”

Jack quickly shook off the ugly thought that if he was saying reassuring things, that meant he couldn’t be saying abusive things.  That wasn’t what Ianto had meant, and Jack knew it.  “The curses are broken.  Tell me what you want.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized that he had just told Ianto what to do, effectively circumventing the curses’ backlash, had they still been in place.  Ianto now had no reason to fear it, but that wasn’t going to be the way to build his confidence.  But Jack recognized that baby steps might be the answer to helping Ianto feel safe.

“I want my mouth on you,” Ianto said, stepping back and looking at Jack hungrily.  “I want to explore every millimeter of your body.”

Jack’s mouth went dry, and he tried to swallow.  “You haven’t done that, before,” he rasped.

“I know,” Ianto replied with a wicked grin.  His eyes raked over Jack’s body.  “I see you rather like the idea, though,” he added with a smirk.

Jack decided he liked a smirking, sultry Ianto.  “Tell me,” he demanded, wondering what sorts of things Ianto might actually like, now that he was not constrained by the curses.

“You’ll have to bear with me,” Ianto warned.  “I may need to take frequent breaks.”

“Well, that just means we get to take turns,” Jack smiled widely at him.

“Maybe,” Ianto said coyly.  “But I’ve wanted to love on you for an awfully long time, now.  I may not be willing to give you a turn, this time.”

“You’re pretty clever,” Jack said as the thought occurred to him.  “I’m surprised you didn’t come up with a way to make that happen.”

“I was too afraid of it backfiring,” he said, deflating a little and staring at his toes.

“Hey,” Jack reached out and cupped Ianto’s cheek, bringing his face back up so he could look into those lovely blue eyes.  “That’s all in the past, now.  I’m yours,” he smiled as he watched Ianto’s eyes widen in surprise.  “Now,” he said, stepping back from the younger man and lowering his braces before working on his shirt buttons.  “I believe you mentioned loving on me?”

Ianto may have pounced.

And some articles of clothing may have been sacrificed to the moment.  Buttons would be found underfoot for quite some time, after.  Jack’s shirt and Ianto’s vest were definitely casualties of the day, their torn remains littering the floor along the hallway to the bedroom.  Ianto had to rush back to the kitchen for his wand, wanting to keep it close by, in case sex with Jack undid his magic as much as it normally undid him.

After placing the wand on the bedside table, He shoved Jack none too gently onto to the bed and admired his lover’s naked form as he sprawled across Ianto’s sheets, completely open to him.  Jack watched Ianto’s hungry expression, hoping the younger man would find safety in being allowed to take what he wanted. 

But once again, he found himself surprised by Ianto, who was not there to take; rather, his only wish was to give Jack every attention.  As promised, his hungry mouth devoured every millimeter of skin he could find.  He hummed his pleasure at Jack’s scent and taste, sharp teeth nipping and velvet tongue lapping at Jack’s skin, making him writhe and moan.

Predictably, Ianto did need to occasionally stop and rest, so he and Jack would snog like a couple of teenagers until he had rested enough to be ready to resume his exploration.  It took hours, but Ianto was in no hurry.  And Jack was a shuddering mass of needy pleasure, sensitive skin, and decadent cries by the time Ianto finally took him.

“G-g-goddess above, Ianto!  Nnngh!  You f-feel am-mazing!” Jack wailed as his body arched off the bed.

Ianto slowly pressed into Jack’s body, enjoying every sensation and savoring the experience as though it were their first time.  And in many ways, it was.  His body and mind and soul were no longer cursed or bound.  He was no longer in pain, and though the exhaustion lingered, the sense of freedom and release he felt far outweighed any discomfort he may have experienced around his body’s current limitations. 

Because despite his fatigue, he felt so good, and despite the emotional turmoil of all he had been through – including the healings – he felt happy.  His magic was restored, and for the first time since Neville Longbottom had been wrenched from his life, he felt secure, as though Ianto Jones had now finally, fully arrived.

The unicorn blood may have helped him to anchor his identity as Ianto, but it had always felt precarious, in some indefinable way.  Perhaps that was part of the curse or part of his uneasiness around being spellbound.  But no matter the origin of that precarious feeling, the balance brought by the dragon’s blood had eased it. 

Having his magic back and trusting that it was safely anchored also returned to him a sense of self he had resigned himself to never having again.  In a dark corner of his mind, he had been convinced that his magic was gone from him for good, and his only solace had been the knowledge that Torchwood would kill him before he suffered too much.  And his tin of potions had comforted him on the days it felt like Torchwood was taking too bloody long.

But those were things to dwell upon later.  He had better things on his mind now, as for perhaps the very first time, he was giving Jack what he considered a proper seeing to.  He had never been one for being passive in bed, but he had learned the hard way how to navigate the curse – first with Lisa, and then with Jack.  It had taken some trial and error, but he had made it work, though he had not been able to truly be himself in bed.

But now, he was unencumbered, and there was a joy in that newfound freedom.  He had learned plenty of things that he knew Jack liked, but there were so many more things that he wanted to try that he had been incapable of doing unless he had somehow been given the ability to take the initiative.

And so, that first night out of St. Mungo’s, he did his best to try as many of the things he had been fantasizing about as he could manage.  Jack indulged him, not really minding that Ianto was a bit all over the place, understanding the sheer joy of being able to explore.  And in giving his lover free rein, Jack was well rewarded.

With great care (and even greater force), Ianto indulged his desires, reveling in the ability to finally be fully himself with Jack.  He held nothing back, allowing Jack to truly see him for the first time.  And it was magnificent.  Jack was awed by Ianto’s power and humbled by the courage it took to show himself without any of his masks or armor.  It was a gift unlike any other.  And the only thing Jack could give in return was himself.

Ianto was more than fine with that. 

And all of a sudden, what was happening between them became so much more than just sex.  Psychic pathways blossomed and deepened along their bond, and slowly, softly, tentatively, they began sharing what felt safest and most obvious.  The bond quickly became saturated with the admiration, desire, and affection they held for one another, leaving them drunk on emotion and sensation and greedily hungering for more. 

With long, fluid strokes, Ianto mastered Jack in a way no one had in very, very long time.  It was taking every shred of control he’d ever imagined he possessed to hold back his own pleasure, which after so many weeks was clambering for violent release.  But Ianto had become adept at keeping a tight rein on himself, and Jack was babbling in at least three languages as Ianto took them higher and higher.

Jack wanted more than anything to see Ianto let go of that control, now that it was no longer needed to protect him from attack.  His undulating body began to move in harmonious counterpoint to Ianto’s powerful thrusts, and there was something exquisite about how the friction of their movements became even more complex and intense.

It was at this point in the proceedings that Jack discovered an unfettered Ianto liked to talk.  The most delightful filth began dripping from the younger man’s lips between kisses, licks, and – sweet Christ – bites, and Jack’s entire body began to shudder as an intense orgasm blanked his mind, for a moment.

Jack had never been a screamer before, but nothing could have stopped the howl of release that erupted from him as his body shook with wave after wave of ecstasy.  Distantly, he felt the vortex singing through his veins as the tight spasms of his body pulled Ianto over the precipice a moment later, and the younger man’s roar of completion held a brief note of surprise before he surrendered to it and rode out the powerful orgasm that wracked his body with overwhelming sensation. 

He felt his magic thundering through him and reached for his new wand in order to keep it from breaking loose and causing damage.  He barely caught hold of it before he collapsed onto Jack, shaking violently and sobbing for air as they both trembled through the aftershocks.

***