Pilot
4 Pivet Drive, Little Whinging – 17:00, August 1st, 1995
As he wrote his final letter, Harry James Potter heaved a sigh of relief. He has spent 5 hours meticulously developing letters to those he considers necessary. His hands ache for his fingers are blistered, and his head hurts because his brain has been working for hours. he feels frustrated by his problems although he is well aware of how his efforts will be rewarded. Those letters would be his last interaction with many people; in some, he struggled to find the right words, while in others, he wished he had more time to address all his questions. He thinks of the Dursleys, what their reactions will be when they hear of his death while they are enjoying their holiday.
None of that matters now, as he lies there with an empty potion vial to his left and a custom-made dagger to his right. He prays to any divinity above that those he cares about understand and read the letters.
Spinners end, Cokeworth – 17:34, August 1st 1995
An owl pecked the chin of Severus Snape. His initial instinct was to swot it away, but he did not do so after seeing Harry Potter's owl.
“Potter’s owl.” Snape drawled. “What do I owe the pleasure of today?”
Hedwig positioned a letter promptly in front of the professor, as if she could hear him. The envelope seemed to have been extensively made by its author and appeared awfully muggle. The boy's horribly scrawled signature at the bottom was the only thing that indicated this letter had been written by his student.
“A letter, are you sure it is for me bird?”
Hedwig chirped impatiently at the man, pointing her beak to Severus' name, which had been written in bold on the envelope. He shook his head at her antics and started opening the letter as she flew away, most likely to her next drop-off location. Severus was startled to find that the handwriting on the letter wasn't as bad as usual, though he would never acknowledge it. He began reading after he had recovered from his disbelief.
Dear Professor Snape,
I can distinctly imagine your face as you are reading this, probably not expecting a letter from the student you loathe. Despite this, I trust that you will read the length of my writing thoughtfully, taking it all in.
From the moment I met you, professor, you have hated everything about me and to do with me. Back then, you probably thought I was too oblivious and pathetic to care, too focused on my perfect hero life. The truth is that your disregarding personality was all I ever knew, what I had been growing up with 11 years before.
My muggle relatives have probably come up in many of the order’s conversations, you may have noticed that Dumbledore refuses to say much about them, shoving off any questions about my overall well-being and safety while in their care. I am completely sure that you probably don’t care to notice, and I am perfectly okay with that, though I just want to inform you that those muggles have been abusing me for many years.
Starved, beaten, screamed at, the whole lot. I've had many bones broken by those I call family, many concussions, and many needed hospital trips that I never received. I was locked in a cupboard that I called a bedroom for many years, while my cousin had two rooms to himself. I was withheld food and needed essentials for days on end while my whale of a cousin was having feasts downstairs. My uncle would beat me for either accidental magic or messing up a meal at least twice a week, my aunty didn’t want my germs, so she resorted to using a frying pan instead. My dear cousin would chase me and beat me up with his lackeys after school from the age of 10, they called it harry hunting. I was forced to make 3 meals a day and clean the entire house by age 8. If I were to misbehave, I'd either receive a beating or be locked in my cupboard for days.
I could talk about them for ages, but I wouldn’t want to bore you. I showed many signs of my abuse and even informed Dumbledore somewhat of what they were doing to me, but no one ever noticed, no one ever helped. Your sunshine personality made it all better, your welcoming words, and your teaching. You were a joy!
So, I don’t get carried away, let's talk about Dumbledore. That old man has been manipulating me since I was just a child. He set me up to face the dark lord since the age of 11, letting everything happen around him while he watched me struggle to survive. He also failed to tell me that I am a Horcrux, yes you read that right, the dark lord's Horcrux. Not only does this make the prophecy clearer, but it also proves that he has been raising me to die.
There is so much more I could say, so much more I could complain about, but I no longer see the point. You have made your mind up about me, made it up long ago.
By the time you have finished reading this lengthy letter, I will no longer be there to answer all your questions. I will be in a place where I am better off, where I am safer, and where I can truly save everyone.
I'm hopeful that you comprehend, Professor, after everything we've seen and feared together.
I offer my sincerest apologies.
- H.J.P
Severus' realization came all too swiftly. His stomach clenched as air strained to enter and exit his lungs, his face growing pale as he marched towards the floo.
The boy sought to commit suicide.
12 Grimmauld Place, London – 17:35, August 1st, 1995
"Sirius! Hedwig just dropped off a letter for both you and me." Remus shouted as he entered the sitting room, taking a seat on the couch next to Sirius.
"Hm? From Harry?! He never writes during the holidays. Isn’t this a first?"
Sirius and Remus both laughed and ripped open their letters at the same time.
Dearest Sirius Black,
This letter is a goodbye, now before you close this to go and find me, please read the whole thing yeah?
You have been nothing but perfect and kind towards me, you have your flaws, but we all do, I couldn’t ask for a better godfather. I truly love you and that will never change, you are a perfectly lovable person and I understood immediately after meeting you, why my dad chose you as not only one of his best friends but my potential godfather.
Unlike you, my relatives have been nothing but cruel to me, abusing me physically and mentally for years. Neglecting me and making me do ALL the chores. I have been beaten more times than I can count and locked in my cupboard daily. It is safe to say that it has not gotten better as I have gotten older and has probably gotten worse.
Nearing the end of this short letter, I would like to make you aware that Dumbledore is a manipulative prick. Not only has he been manipulating me, but you as well. He knew about Peter, knew that you were innocent, and refused to save Lily and James. He made Snape become a spy and helped send you to Azkaban.
I am telling you this in hopes that you wake up and realize that the war is not black and white, Dumbledore is worse than Voldemort in many ways.
This is the end of my letter and when you have finished reading this I will most definitely be gone. In a better place physically and mentally. I can't even explain how excited I am to finally meet my parents!
I love you, Sirius, try to understand.
My sincerest apologies,
- H.J.P
Dearest Remus Lupin,
I am starting off this letter by informing you that I have recently come into contact with my parents’ will and last wishes. I think you'd like to know that you are my other godfather, along with Sirius and Snape. This information shouldn’t have changed the way I view you, but it really did, you were not only an amazing professor, but one of the only adults I truly trusted and cared for. I cannot express my gratitude enough for your teachings and the memories you have of my late parents. I know that you never expressed it, but deep down you really loved me, and I can now tell you that I feel the same way.
After you have completed this letter, I encourage you to read Sirius’ and he read yours, I think you’d appreciate the information you’ll find there.
I wish we had more time together, Remus, I really do. I would say I'm sorry that I must do this but I'm not, this will make everyone's lives so much easier, including yours. I love you, Remus, deeply.
My sincerest apologies,
- H.J.P
“S- Sirius...”
Remus’ voice was croaky, never had he thought Harry would do something like this or say such things. His words run deep through Remus, changing his beliefs in many predicaments. He needed to help Harry, he needed to know more. He practically snatched Sirius’ letter from the man's hands, reading just as Harry instructed.
Sirius was frozen, his hands trembling unmoving even as Remus snatched the paper. Harry, his boy, resorts to killing himself. The boy he loves and cares for, so full of life, is dead at this very moment. All he could think about was Regulus. They always feared his brother did the same, killing himself in fear. Harry wasn’t like Regulus, Regulus was scared, Harry is just really fucking tired.
Remus abruptly stood, leaving both letters on the couch. The man turned to look at Sirius, his eyes shallow, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks.
“Sirius, we need to go.”
They need to go, go save Harry, save Harry from himself.
“Sirius! Now, please.”
Sirius had never seen Remus so desperate, even when it came to the prank, or the full moon, he had never been so desperate as he is now. Sirius stood, grabbing both letters in one hand and Remus’ hand in the other.
“Let's go find Harry.”
Malfoy Manor, the Dark Lords suite – 17:37, August 1st, 1995
“My L-Lord.” Voldemort glanced up from his desk, welcomed by the sight of one of his followers, Lucius Malfoy.
“Lucius, do not stutter as so in my presence. Not only does it make you look unworthy, but it may also seem to others that I chose a coward as one of my closest followers.”
Tom could see that man’s lips tremble while he stared at the ground. His hands were gripping tightly around a letter, looking closer, the letter seemed to be addressed to Voldemort.
“My Lord, the potter boy sent you a letter. We have checked for curses, it seems to be s-safe-“
Lucius was cut off as the dark lord slammed his hands on the table, standing up swiftly.
“Pass it here or I may decide to punish you for not following my clear orders.” Lucius made the wise decision by handing over the letter while quickly and quietly leaving the study.
It was safe to say that Voldemort was curious. A letter from his greatest rival, no curses and no clear ulterior motive. Yes, he was extremely curious, so to cure his curiosity, he opened the letter and began to read.
Dear Lord Voldemort,
I am certain that you were not expecting a letter for me, I am even more certain that you had your followers to check for curses. To your obvious surprise, I sent this letter with no harm in mind, I know, shocking. You are one of the many people that I sent a farewell to, you do not deserve one, but you do deserve to know the truth.
I am going to end my life and as drastic as these methods are, they are necessary. You, Voldemort, made my life extremely miserable and I will never forgive you for that. I have spent years believing that everything that went wrong was all your fault, I have only recently found out that I was wrong.
As much as it pains me to write this, I am your horcrux. A piece of your soul that you accidently misplaced while trying to take my life. I am not happy about this, at all, but I have now accepted it. When I take my life, I will be doing a good deed by everyone, even you. Your soul will perish along with me, but you will no longer have to focus your bad doings on murdering me. I only ask that you don’t hurt my loved ones in the process.
Despite that, I highly encourage you to murder the fuck out of Dumbledore. That man has been controlling my life since I opened my eyes, yours as well. He could have stopped all bad if he wanted to, yet he encouraged it and allowed it to all happen around him. I will never forgive the man.
I can imagine you would like to find where I am and keep me safe as I am your horcrux, your soul. By the time you get there, I will be long gone.
My sincerest apologies.
- H.J.P
4 Pivet Drive, Little Whinging, London – if you’d like to pay a visit :p
…
“LUCIUS! We are going to London!”
The headmaster’s office, Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry
– 17:42, August 1st, 1995
It all happened awfully quickly, one-minute Albus was sucking on a lemon drop while reading the prophet, the next there was 3 furious men walking into his office.
“Sirius, Remus, and Severus. What brings you here on this fine day?”
All men began to talk at once.
“Albus! You complete imbecile, we need to go help, Harry!-“
“Where does Harry stay? We need to go there immediately!-”
“Give me the address Albus, this is crucial.-“
Albus let out a long sigh, standing from his desk chair. “That is enough! Let us calmly talk about this, yes?”
“The boy intends to kill himself. What is the muggles address?”
Albus stared at Severus for a long time, calculating his words, trying to keep his cool. He nearly burst a blood vessel when he realised that Severus was in fact telling the truth. Albus grabbed his wand.
“Let us apparate. Grab on my boy’s.”
Off they went.
4 Pivet Drive, Little Whinging – 17:38, August 1st, 1995
Harry is sad to admit that his plan is not working as well as it should, he should be dead, he is not. Harry lies half conscious and waiting for his body to stop fighting for life, for it to give up on the hopeless mission of reserving his health. His whole body aches while the potion slowly reacts, his limbs aching for relief. Harry will die knowing what it feels to have your most vital organs slowly shutting down, he nearly laughs at the thought.
The boy gets interrupted by two sounds, one he knows for certain is the front door being broken down, the second is an unmistakable sound of blood wards being shattered. How does he know this he has no idea, but he is sure of it. Harry frowns, quite disappointed that someone made it here before his death, someone who is proven to be Voldemort.
The bathroom door is flown open, a distraught Lucius and a raging Dark Lord are on the other side of the frame.
“Lucius. You are to call your wife, tell her this is a matter of upmost importance, no time is to be spared.” Voldemort spoke while holding a unreadable expression. Lucius politely nods and apparates away.
Harry watches closely as Tom bends down to his level, but he is not scared of the man nor what the man may do to him, he is scared that somehow for some reason Voldemort will pity him.
“My horcrux, my soul, all this time. If I had known.” Voldemort rants as he strokes Harry’s cheek almost longingly.
“T-that’s- you s-shouldn’t be he-here” Harry barely stuttered in all his agony.
Voldemort stared at Harry, stared at his Avada eyes, at the scar the man gifted him. His thin lips turned into a smirk, finding it amusing how Harry tried to speak, as he told Voldemort where he should and shouldn’t be.
“You hold a piece of my soul, something so dear to my being. We shall forget the past my horcrux for I know you are mine now.
Harry was going to respond, respond to his unbearable promise, tell the dark lord that he is not something to be owned but a pop echoed in the air.
Narcissa is a beautiful woman, elegant and gentle, Harry can tell this much by just one glance. He wonders what Draco would think of him right now, if he is happy that the chosen one finally set him free, gave him peace. Harry thinks he would be glad, but he doesn’t mind, Harry would be glad as well.
“Narcissa, perfect timing.” The Dark Lord rose from the ground to face the woman. “You are to heal Harry as if he is myself, the best you can perform.”
Lady Malfoy looks between Harry and Voldemort only once before she gets to work. Harry decides that he likes her quite a bit more than her husband. Harry is half asleep but he can vaguely understand her movements, as she wipes the blood from his chin, and as she performs spells to begin organ production once again. Harry will never admit this, even for years to come, but he is quite thankful.
Harry can feel his eyes slowly fluttering closed, he can’t stop them, even when he hears his godfather call his name from somewhere close.
4 Pivet Drive, Little Whinging – 17:38
Dumbledore looks carefully at the home where his most prized possession may be laying dead. That is not what attracts him the most though, it is the shattered wards Lily gave her life for.
“Black if you yell the boys name one more time you will no longer have a tongue, we just got here!!” Severus growled.
“Voldemort is here...”
The other three present turned to gape and Dumbledore as if it’s the most ridiculous thing ever said.
“Albus, why would he be here?.. Unless Harry wrote him a letter… merlin.” Remus stated, wobbling on his feet.
Sirius stormed in front of Albus, a look on his face that a toddler may have during a tantrum. His eyes as defiant as all Blacks, his mouth forming a well-deserved snarl.
“Albus!! You are the cause; you will get rid of Voldemort. I will not have my godson dead-“
“How kind of you all to join us?” Voldemort spoke as stepped out of the home, Lucius by his side. There is clear blood on Voldemort’s hands and knees, having many assume the worst.
“I swear to merlin if my godson is dead in there. -“
Voldemort shushes Sirius with his hand, clearly seeing him as irrelevant. “Down, mutt. He is safe and receiving the best care, no need to worry.”
Sirius runs to go inside but is abruptly stopped by Lucius flick of a wand.
“Therefore.” Voldemort snarled. “You may go.”
“Tom, give us the boy back. Enough of this.” Dumbledore speaks as Remus and Sirius both drew their wands. Severus stood there, looking conflicted and extremely uncomfortable.
Voldemort visibly sighs. “Severus, I am willing to forget you were present if you get your... acquaintances and leave. Now.”
“My Lord...” Severus went to speak but was skillfully interrupted by none other than Albus.
“The boy is not yours, Tom. Give him at once.”
Voldemort cackled, his wand arm shaking as he laughs. He smirks with utmost pride, pride in himself, pride in his power. “He is mine. My soul and my being. He is to remain safe with me until fate says otherwise. You are all out place.”
Everything happened so quickly. One second the order members were aiming their wands, the next they were back in the headmaster’s office, gasping for breath.
Albus then did something that shocked even himself. “I am going to murder that boy.”