You’re my Candle

Kayda didn't say much for the rest of September. For a little over a week, she kept her head down, attended her several detentions for breaking Crabbe's nose in two places and ignored the comments from her peers and the gawking eyes of those too afraid to even breathe when she walked past them.

After a long night of staring out of the large window in the common room into the Black Lake, the sun rose above the surface and a hand rested gently on her shoulder.

"Hey," he spoke softly, "how're you doing, Flea?" His voice was deep and she didn't need to turn around to know who he was – Graham Montague. He was two years older than she was and had been looking out for her ever since Flint started trying to get her on the Quidditch team with them both. "Kayda?" He knelt down beside her when she didn't acknowledge his presence.

"Hi Graham." She still didn't look at him.

"Merlin– first name, something's really off." He laughed softly as he sat down beside her. "You can talk to me, Flea."

"I haven't slept in days." She admitted.

He didn't say anything for a while. "Y'know, I think you've been keeping me up too."

Kayda's head turned to look at him, and all she was met with was one side of his mouth curved upwards slightly. "How'd you figure that?"

"Well, in solidarity, I obviously had to stay awake too."

"You're an idiot." She shook her head, a laugh escaping her parted lips.

"You're the one not sleeping." He watched her pull her knees up to her chest and rest her chin on them. "Why?"

She hesitated to answer him, but after a quick glance to the older boy beside her – she felt her eyes sting and knew if she didn't say anything now it would just eat away at her until she was a rotting corpse. "Dad's been spotted in the villages nearby, every time he's getting closer and closer to Hogwarts, every sighting is screaming that he's coming to this stupid castle and I can't help but feel like it's not even for me."

"Kayda," he whispered, his hand reaching out and landing on her shoulder again, "he's risking getting caught by coming this close to Hogwarts– I don't see anything else here worth going back to Azkaban for other than you."

She smiled slowly, her eyes yelling at her that tears were going to fall and she let them. Instantly, he moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her tightly. He let her cry there until she wore herself out.

"Flea," he muttered after a while, "look at me, kid."

With several sniffs and a minute of blinking away any tears left in her eyes, she managed to look up at the boy holding her.

"He wants to see you." He spoke with all the conviction in the world, not a single doubt in his tone. "He might be scared too, y'know." He smiled at her when she laughed.

She shook her head slowly, "my dad isn't afraid of anything."

He hummed and scratched his chin with his finger, pretending to be deep in thought. "So, he's not afraid of, say...spiders?" He whispered the word as if a spider was going to leap out at him just at the mention.

Kayda shook her head again. "Not even the big ones."

"Woah, he really is fearless." He mocked. Kayda hit his arm gently. "Easy, easy," he laughed, "I've got Quidditch Practice today, you've gotta be careful with me or Flint'll throw me off my broom."

She rolled her eyes and hit him again, harder – just before getting up suddenly and running to the sofa. When he got up and did the same, she leapt over it and crashed into the soft cushions.

"I'll come watch your practice." She smiled up at him when he leant over the back of the sofa.

Graham shook his head, his own smile being replaced by a long sigh. "I think it'd be better if you stay in your dorm today, kid."

She sat up immediately, her smile dropping. "No. Don't parent me, Graham."

"Not trying to." He raised his hands in surrender. "I'm just saying, I'll get you some sleep pills from Pomfrey...and you can–"

Kayda objected to that idea even more. "Getting to sleep isn't this issue; it's the nightmares."

"Then," he nodded, smiling gently, "I s'pose, I'll have to get something to stop those. Won't I?"

─ « ⋅ » ─

A few weeks later, Kayda felt like she was slowly getting out of her slump. Whatever drugs Graham had scraped off Pomfrey for her had worked. Despite that, Kadya still didn't feel any motivation to involve herself in the conversation her friends were having that morning at breakfast.

"Kayda!" Freya clicked her fingers right in-front of Kayda's face as she spoke on the opposite side of the table, she could feel Daphne's hand on her shoulder shaking her gently.

"Hm? Oh, you guys ok?" She zoned back in, smiling at the three girls staring at her.

"We're all fine," Pansy started, "it's you who's not responding to our excellent questions."

"Oh, I'm sure they're, just...wonderful." Kayda joked, sticking her face back into her cereal and bringing the spoon to her lips slowly.

"Nothing on that, mate." Freya sighed as Kayda's lips closed around the empty silver spoon. The blonde girl put her face in her hands.

Kayda laughed, rather awkwardly, before looking down at her cereal bowl, which was just a bowl now. "When did I finish–?"

"Twenty minutes ago, at least." Daphne replied, a look of clear concern on her face. Kayda clicked her tongue and put her spoon down before pushing the bowl away from her.

"What's going on with you, Black?" Freya asked, her voice raspy.

Kayda's voice was quieter when she spoke again. "Just...tired, I think."

Daphne tilted her head, "you've not had any nightmares for the past few nights, I thought it was getting better."

Before Kayda could respond, there was a gentle tap on her shoulder and every one of the girls' eyes avoided looking in the direction of it.

"Hi Oliver." She chuckled.

She heard him laugh, "how'd y'know it was me?"

Kayda simply pointed to the girls around her when she looked up at him. "I'll see you guys later."

"You can always talk to us, girl." Pansy shouted after her and Oliver when the two walked out of the Great Hall together.

Oliver was in his Quidditch kit, the crimson colour sending Kayda's mind back in time without her body. He had to take her hand to stop her from walking when he had.

"They still off with you?" He asked, his brows narrowed.

Kayda shook her head. "Only when they remember you exist."

He laughed. "Ah, that's good, then."

"I got some sympathy points cause my nightmares got worse," she smiled, squeezing his hand, "so I'd say it's getting better."

His face fell. "I didn'...know they got worse?"

"No," she said quickly, stepping closer to him, "I didn't want to worry you."

"That's my thing, Kayda." He placed his hand on the side of her face. "I worry 'bout you."

She leant into his hand, the warmth of him shooting through her body from the contact. In a second she'd stood up a little straighter and closed the small gap between them and pressed her cold lips against his own. His hand moved from her face to the back of her neck in an instant and her arms wrapped up over his shoulders.

He pulled her waist towards him with ease when she pulled slightly away from him just to watch how he followed as if it were second nature.

"Been a while." He whispered, his mouth curved upwards.

"That's why I did it." Kayda traced her fingers along his face, following his cheekbones down to his jaw and then over his lips. He watched her expression the entire time, his eyes never leaving her. He didn't take any notice of her bruised and scabbing knuckles because he'd had the same a month ago.

His lips parted and a single breath left them, he blinked several times.

Kayda knew what that meant. "What?" She prompted, knowing he wanted to say something.

"I love you." The words were simple but they had never failed to make Kayda's body explode with warmth – the fire around her ribs and laced in her blood sparked. She suddenly saw her own eyes flash in the reflection of Oliver's. "And I love that."

Kayda used to hate the fact that her eyes would ignite for a split second whenever she heard those words from Oliver, she kept her eyes closed for five minutes after the first time he kissed her for fear that they wouldn't go out.

"I love you too." She breathed.

He kissed her forehead but didn't let her go. "You comin' to my practice later?"

"'Course I am."

He smiled widely before he leant down and kissed her quickly again, but with such force that she had to stick her foot out behind her to keep herself upright.

"I'll see you later, darlin'." And he ran back into the Great Hall, where she saw him tell Harry and the other Gryffindor's in their Quidditch kit to eat more – but didn't touch a single thing on the table himself.

After attending her first few lessons, Kayda made her way to the Quidditch Pitch – she could see it in the distance, until Flint stepped out from where he'd been sitting with his friends and forced her to stop walking.

"Where're you off to, Black?" He grinned down at her.

"Get out of my way, Flint." She spat.

His smirk only grew bigger. "Or what, babe?"

"Oliver isn't the only one capable of beating the shit out of you." The heat was growing in her pocket, and no matter how hard she dug her nails into her palm–it wouldn't cool.

There were several 'ooo's and fake noises from both Flint and his friends.

"I only asked where you're going," he laughed, "no need to get violent, honey."

A long breath left her. "There was no need for you to lie to your mates saying we fucked either." His grin vanished. "Look, Flint. I know you like me, but you need to learn how to distinguish what happened in real life from what happened in your dreams."

The silence was harrowing but Flint didn't move out of her way.

"If you'll please move?" She asked, not looking at his face when his eyes were locked on hers.

"No. I don't think I will." He pulled his wand from his pocket.

"Seriously?" Kayda rolled her eyes, "I have beaten worse men than you, Marcus."

The tip of his wand was at her neck before his name finished dripping off her lips – she didn't move.

"I'd lower that if I were you, Flint." A light voice came from behind them – Lillian.

He scoffed. "Why would I do that, Jones?"

"'Cause she's going to burn you alive."

Everybody in the castle knew Lillian Jones was a Legilimens, and everyone knew Kayda was a Fabeldyr – neither were something to be opposed from.

The cold wood left her skin, but did not fall to his side yet. He wasn't completely stupid – it helped that Lillian had read his mind before just to prove it to the boy though.

"Good start." Lillian laughed, walking to Kayda's side.

"You're lying–"

Kayda took her hand out from her pocket and the flame that had been warming it ignited half of her arm in an instant. Flint backed away immediately.

"Move," she said through her teeth calmly, "please."

He moved to the side slowly – Lillian laughed as they walked past and the fire around Kayda's hand and arm flickered out.

─ « ⋅ » ─

On Hallowe'en, there was an arranged trip to Hogsmead. Kayda hadn't planned on going, she wanted to stay with her Uncle at the castle – her friends nagged her so much the night before that she didn't think she'd had a say in the matter when morning came.

"Frey, no–" She groaned when the blonde girl tried dragging her out of her warm bed. "I will cook you, Malfoy."

Freya only laughed. She was wrapped up in her gloves and scarf already, a long cloak falling over her shoulders in preparation to go out into the cold. Kayda was yet to see any snowfall outside.

"Let her stay here." Daphne giggled from the bottom floor, she and Pansy were waiting at the door, also dressed in thick clothing.

"C'mon, Malfoy. I'm hungry." Pansy laughed.

"If she doesn't leave Black alone, you'll have something to eat," Daphne teased, "so–"

Kayda rolled onto her back and her hand fell just off the mattress – gentle flames licking at her fingertips.

"I will do it, Frey." She warned.

"Yeah, I believe that–" she laughed nervously, just before leaning over Kayda and placing a very light kiss on her forehead. "Don't kill anyone when we're gone, ok?"

Kayda laughed gently. "You wanna see it happen. I know, I know."

It was hours later when Kayda finally dragged herself out of bed and into some clothes that didn't smell like they'd been dragged through the Black Lake–the girl's had taken pretty much anything she'd worn several times that week to put in with their own, for the house elves to clean.

She made her way slowly to Remus' classroom, she knew he'd be there. He smiled at her when she walked in.

"It's lovely to see you, sweetheart." He rose from where he was sitting behind the desk at the top of the room and met her halfway. "We haven't spoken properly in days."

Kayda slammed into him the second she was close enough to wrap her arms around his torso. "I know," she mumbled into his jumper, "I decided you were more important than Hogsmead."

He laughed, stroking the back of her head gently. "How kind of you."

Kayda shrugged. Remus leant back, holding her face softly in his scarred hands. His expression fell, the smile fading.

"You ok, Uncle?"

He took a deep breath. "I just, can't look at you sometimes," his lips curved but the sadness was growing more evident in his eyes, "without thinking of him."

"You can say his name, y'know." Kayda found her own heartbeat getting faster with every second of silence that washed over them both.

"He's getting closer," Remus stepped away from her, returning to his desk and shuffling a few pieces of paper until he picked one up, "every sighting."

Kayda inhaled slowly, nodding. "I know. I can't pinpoint him yet, it's been too long since I've seen him."

It was a small sensation, almost missable if she didn't focus on it – but it was like she could feel Sirius' heartbeat pulsing through the floor beneath her feet. Almost as if he was in the castle itself.

"You've tried?" Remus dropped the prophet on his desk again.

Kayda's voice almost didn't carry to the other side of the room. "Of course I've tried."