dear ol’ dad
Remus was left on his own in his classroom after Kayda decided to go for a long walk outside of the castle. He offered to join her, but he had ordered a Grindylow that was meant to be arriving within the hour.
The birds squawking above her made Kayda consider joining them in the sky, but she'd have to have gone further from the castle to do that without terrifying someone to death.
Instead, she stayed on her feet, wandering through the few trees on the very outskirts of the Forbidden Forest. These were the trees that people often carved their initials into, many of them too afraid to actually enter the forest itself.
Kayda read them all, until she came across a tree that made her completely freeze. On it were only five sets of initials, but she knew there were so many more on the other side and further up—at a height that could only be reached if they'd been sat on someone else's shoulders. She could remember the day they'd carved them as she traced her fingers over each one.
'S.B.', J.F.P.', R.J.L.', 'K.F.B.', 'P.P.'
She felt herself laugh gently at the last one, Peter hadn't had a single day where he didn't hate his initials–he'd begged them all to let him carve 'Pete' or 'W.T.' instead, but James insisted on them all having the same.
The wind picked up as Kayda rose to her feet, with it came a strong scent that suddenly had her scrunching and covering her nose.
"Merlin–" She groaned to herself, it smelt like something had died. In a second, she'd turned away from the tree, desperate to get away from the smell but an even stronger breeze hit her back, blowing her hair in front of her face and forcing her to hold it out of the way so she could see.
With that breeze came another smell, one that had been hiding beneath the other.
There was no doubting what it was either–Sirius.
She turned slowly to see a ragged man standing beside the tree, his hand brushing against the bark and his gaze locked on the same carvings.
"D-dad?" Her voice didn't work initially.
Sirius looked up at her. His eyes were empty.
It was hard to know that it was him–his hair was shaved close to his head and he was covered in dirt and, what smelt like, blood. He was a different man. The clothes draped over his shoulders were torn and ripped so much you could see almost all of his tattoos—along with every old scar and fresh cut.
His eyes softened. It seemed, he hadn't recognised her at first either.
"Oh, my darling girl..." His gaze was suddenly fixed on her. The voice that left his mouth wasn't his—it was gravelly and unsteady. "I-I wasn't sure–"
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Kayda prayed her voice to be commanding, but it wavered and shook like her balance.
He blinked rapidly, lips clamping shut. He shifted backwards, with desperation lingering in his eyes. The weight of regret was evident in his retreat. "Kayda–?" He muttered, she could hear the anguish in his tone. She didn't catch the urgency.
"How stupid can you be?" She gritted her teeth, her frustration punctuating every word as disbelief overtook her—she'd been wishing for him to come and find her, but never in a million years thought he would be so idiotic as to actually come that close to Hogwarts. "Did you even think this through?!"
"Baby, I need your help–" he took a hesitant step forward, coughing. The lines on his face etched with weariness, "and I needed to see...you."
She remained motionless, her heart pounding in her chest. Her eyes stung as he drew nearer, her guard slowly crumbling the closer he got—she couldn't let him be found. She was terrified.
"You," the words died on her lips, "you need to leave."
"Kayda–" He begged, he sounded like he was on the verge of breaking down.
"Go. Now."
Sirius was staring at her as the tears began to fall from his unblinking eyes, but he didn't seem to bother wiping them away—Kayda wondered if he could even feel them running down his cheeks.
His heartbeat was getting louder, she couldn't take her eyes off the broken man as he walked closer to her with incredible caution.
"You think it was me...don't you?" His face was contorting with every breath he took, his eyes reddening.
Kayda's voice shattered. "What?"
"It wasn't–I didn't do it," he wept, his voice cracking as he fell to his knees where he stood, "it wasn't me. I swear it. Baby, please, it wasn't me. You have to believe me. I didn't–I didn't mean,"
Kayda walked to him, kneeling in front of him and taking his shaking face in her hands. His own hands grabbed rashly at her arms, his skin was even colder than hers. He kept repeating his words over and over again.
"Sirius, stop it." She could feel her eyes stinging but urged the tears threatening to fall to evaporate instead.
He kept sobbing, and leaning further into her. "I tried to...I didn't mean for it to happen! It wasn't me. Tell me I didn't kill them...I wouldn't hurt him."
"I know, I know you wouldn't...dad." Kayda whispered, holding the back of his head to her shoulder. His arms lifted and wrapped around her body loosely.
"You–you know?" He sniffed loudly, but stayed where she held him.
"I never believed what they said about you." She said firmly. Sirius' heart wasn't pounding as loudly in his chest anymore, his sharp breaths were more even too.
"What about Remus?" Sirius barely got the words out loud enough for her to hear.
Kayda didn't respond right away, and Sirius pulled back slowly—his cold hands never let go of her. He knew his answer from her silence.
"He always did think I was the traitor."
In a second, Kayda had stood up and begun stepping away from him just as quickly as she'd rushed to hold him. "Dad, you still can't be here–"
He cut her off quickly. "It was Pete."
The feet that were carrying her backwards seemed to get stuck in drying tar. Kayda could do nothing but stare at him.
"The traitor...was Pete." Sirius' eyes were on the floor. "Not me."
Kayda felt her chest rising faster with every second she watched his face grow harder.
"That's what I need your help with, Kayda," Sirius sniffed, but his voice was flat when he spoke now–nothing but determination lacing his words, "I'm going to kill that rat."
She was stunned, locked in place. "You're going to have to explain a little bit more than that, dad." It was all she could muster.
"Pete was the goddamn traitor. What more do you need?" He stood up suddenly.
Kayda didn't respond to him, only stared at the tall man that was walking towards her again—anger fuelling him this time.
"He told The Dark Lord everything, all the stuff we talked about at Order meetings—he relayed it all to our enemy. Little, innocent Pete."
"And nobody suspected him..."
Sirius shook his head, "we were all too focused on the Black and the werewolf to notice how he disappeared. I s'pose in a way, it's our fault we didn't notice."
"It was war, Pads."
Sirius looked up quickly—his lips curved slightly.
"Nobody's called me that in years." He laughed lightly. "Thanks...Mousetrap."
Kayda smiled, only for a moment. Until something clicked in her head. "How'd the Dark Lord even find them? You were their secret keeper. I know you'd be dead before giving that information up, even to Pete."
Sirius' face fell to the floor again, "that's the thing, I wasn't the secret keeper." He muttered, his fingers digging into his ripped pockets as he did.
"But—" Kayda started.
"I switched with Pete, last minute. I thought, 'everyone'll expect it to be me–James' best friend, the Godfather of their son.' I was right, with that at least." Sirius wasn't looking at her now.
Kayda looked around, suddenly realising they were on school grounds still. "We're too exposed here." She said idly.
"I told James that Pete was less obvious, that it should be him instead," Sirius' expression was cold, no sign of remorse, "how happy Wormy must've been to tell The Dark Lord he knew exactly where the Potters were."
"Dad, people could see you here." Kayda walked to him, grabbing his upper arm and pulling him. Sirius let her drag him deeper into the tree line, but he stopped and forced her to look up at him once he deemed them hidden enough.
"Are you even listening to me, baby girl?"
"Yes, dad." She sighed. "I'd have thought the same, had I been there."
Sirius' voice cracked. "I basically killed them."
Kayda shook her head quickly. "No, you didn't. Pete-Pettigrew did." She corrected him.
"It was my idea." Sirius grabbed a hold of her hand tightly.
"You're not going to be able to convince me it is your fault they're dead." Kayda yanked his arm down when his eyes drifted from hers. "Stop trying."
"I'm gonna kill him." His tone was flat.
Kayda matched it. "I was told you already tried that."
Sirius nodded, "he got away that time. He turned into that fucking rat and ran down into the sewers. Y'know, he cut off his own finger?"
"Yeah, that was all that was left of him—or so they thought."
"That's all that will be left of him." Sirius was cold, both his skin and his eyes. "He's in the castle, bet you didn't know that."
Kayda's eyes narrowed, her brows furrowing tightly. "How?"
"He's Weasley 'pass-down'." Sirius clicked his tongue. "For the stupidest of us, he sure is smart sometimes."
Kayda stuttered. "He's still in his animagus body?"
"For twelve years." Sirius confirmed. "We're wasting time, we have to do it now."
"He'll be in Hogsmead with Ron, dad." Kayda turned away from him slightly, her hand running through her hair.
"Where's the map?"
"You think I have that?" She laughed, disbelievingly. "James hid that in Filch's office, I suspect it's still bloody there."
"You get that...and I'll break into Gryffindor Tower." He ordered.
"Dad," she gasped, unable to think of what to say that would change his mind, "this isn't smart."
"It's my only chance, baby girl. Most of the students aren't in the castle right now, I can get in and out unseen." Sirius had taken a few steps away from her, but upon seeing that she didn't follow, he walked to her and grabbed her shoulders. "Are you gonna help me, or not?"
Kayda sighed, eyes drifting away from his face. "I've been told a million times how similar I am to you, Sirius," she looked up at him again, "what do you think?"
For the second time, the corner of his mouth rose again-but in his eyes, joined a glint of something new.
"I think you're your father's daughter."
─ « ⋅ » ─
"You're getting me in and out of the castle," Sirius whispered to her very quickly before , "you can't be seen helping me, or they'll send you in too, alright?"
Kayda nodded sharply. Sirius smiled and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead right before landing on four paws.
"Pads, try to remember you're a dog. All that training with James is about to pay off." Kayda shook her head in one final moment of silence objection. He barked, then trotted alongside her as she walked, hanging his tongue out of his mouth.
Kayda's heart was pounding—as long as they didn't run into Dumbledore or McGonagall, they'd be fine. She had to keep repeating the words over in her head to convince herself. Padfoot, who could probably hear her beating chest, brushed his body against her leg, his head curving up by her stomach to get her attention.
"I'm fine, Pads," she smiled down at him, her hand scratching the top of his head as they walked past a Ravenclaw student, who gave her a narrowed look but switched it to a smile when Kayda made eye contact.
They walked through the corridors, acting their best like Padfoot was just Kayda's equivalent of a rat, owl or frog until they arrived at the Grand Staircase.
"Goodluck, dad." She whispered and Padfoot went bounding up the stairs immediately, his claws clipping against the floor abruptly before he stood right in-front of the Fat Lady.
As Kayda walked down the corridor, in the direction of Filch's office—she could still hear the Fat Lady talking to what she thought was just a black dog.
"Oh?" The Lady giggled, "aren't you a sweet little thing—" the Lady fell silent before letting out a sudden scream.
"For Merlin's sake, Sirius." Kayda whispered to herself, turning around instantly. She could hear her father desperately trying to convince the terrified woman to stop shouting and to just let him inside the common room.
"WHAT!?" She yelled in response. "YOU THINK—I'M GOING TO..?"
The next thing that Kayda could hear was yet more screaming accompanied by the sound of sharp claws scratching against wood and canvas.
She ran up a few of the stairs and could see that Padfoot had leapt at the portrait—clawing at the ancient paper and tearing it aggressively.
The Fat Lady squealed and vanished into the next portrait to get away from him. Several of the other portraits around them began shouting and exclaiming.
Sirius barked and landed back on the floor on all fours—the portrait door didn't budge.
"What you barking for, it isn't open." She called quietly to him, throwing her hand out towards the destroyed portrait. "C'mon, we gotta get you out of here."
Padfoot barked again, more quietly before running off into the corridors that sprouted off the staircase. Kayda followed him through the halls immediately and buried her face in her hands when he stopped right in-front of the One-Eyed Witch.
"Oh yeah, that's real smart," Kayda sighed, rolling her eyes, "we'll just pop out right into Honeydukes, is it?"
Padfoot, being a dog, couldn't make very many differing facial expressions—yet he always seemed to manage.
"No." Kayda shook her head. "The Whomping Willow is a better call, and you know it."
Padfoot stomped his front paw on the stone floor.
"Uhm, Flea?" A low voice called from further up the corridor. "And dog I've never seen before?"
Kayda coughed and turned around quickly, meeting eyes with Graham. "Monty! Wh-what are you doin'?" She smiled forcefully. "I thought you'd be, y'know, in Hogsmead."
He smirked, walking closer to her and Padfoot, who had taken to sniffing around the base of the statue in front of them.
"Why'd you care, Flea? You up to som'in?"
"No." She said, quickly.
He chuckled. "Alright, tell me why you're staring at this old statue then." Graham walked closer to her, his arm almost going to rest on her shoulder before Padfoot dashed between the pair, his head budging against Graham's hip.
"It's a statue, Monty," she smiled, her fingers falling to scratch behind Padfoot's ears, "nothing special. I think Pads was just looking for somewhere to piss."
Graham looked down at Padfoot, whose own eyes were looking up between the pair.
"So, you were recommending it to him?"
"What'd you care about my dog, anyway?" Kayda scoffed, trying to act as calm as possible. "Something wrong with having a pet?"
Padfoot began a low growl in the back of his throat. Kayda shot a glare down at him.
Graham rolled his eyes, still smiling. "I'll see you 'round, Flea. Stay out of trouble, kid." He put his hand on the side of her head for a single moment, shoving it to the side slightly and messing up her hair.
As he was walking away, he glanced back and met Padfoot's eyes. To Kayda's surprise, he gave him a subtle nod.
─ « ⋅ » ─
"That boy knew." Sirius sighed, brushing at the dust and dirt that'd fallen on Kayda's shoulders when they crawled into the tunnel beneath the Whomping Willow.
"There's no way he knew, he has no idea you're an Animagus." Kayda pleaded, Sirius hadn't stopped talking about Graham since he had a mouth that spoke english again. "Trust me."
"Plan didn't work." Sirius sniffed, his hands falling from her shoulders after squeezing them gently. "You were probably right."
"Probably?" Kayda grinned. "I've been living with Remus for my whole life—'course I'm right."
He laughed, his hands falling to his side. "We'll try again. Besides, I reckon I've got someone else who can help."
"Dad," she sighed, knowing there was nothing she'd be able to say that would convince him otherwise, "I want Pettigrew dead as much as you do—"
"We'll talk about it more soon, baby." He snapped.
Kayda blinked a few times, then nodded. "I should get back anyway," she sniffed, "Uncle'll probably have noticed I'm missing by now."
Sirius hummed, his pupils dilating slightly, "alright, I'll—you come to the shack in three days, same time."
"Yeah, ok." Kayda wrapped her arms around his torso, burying her head in his chest. She could feel Sirius nodding as he put his own arms around her.
They stayed like that for a while—neither one wanting to let go just yet.