You’re my Candle

"Sweetheart..." Remus prodded gently, unsure if Kayda could hear him over the sound of her own spew hitting the bottom of the bucket he'd handed her the second she gagged. "Are you doing alright?"

She gargled again, another load exiting her body. "No-" She spat. "I've been throwing up for two fucking days straight."

Her Uncle sighed at her use of language, to which she stuck up two fingers over the cushion of the sofa she was half falling off of.

"It will pass, I'm sure." He tutted, walking out to the kitchen and returning with a rustling in his hands. "Here, have some chocolate." He'd pulled the wrapper back and was holding it out towards her with his lips curved upwards.

She looked at it for a second - and instantly retched again.

"I'll pass, thanks...Moony."

He sat down beside her, snapping a piece for himself and letting it melt in his mouth as he watched her head fall against the soft sofa, her eyes lightly closed.

"Will you be alright on Sunday?" He asked quietly, almost afraid to bring it up again.

"Will you, please, shut up about Hogwarts, Remus." She responded, heaving for air with her eyes still shut.

He groaned, "Kayda, you have to go."

"No, I don't." She opened her eyes slowly and stared at him. "Stop bringing it up. I am not going."

"You are." He insisted, his voice growing stern. "If you don't; you'll regret it."

She didn't even acknowledge that he had spoken.

A few hours passed and Kayda was asleep. A blanket pulled up over her shoulder after Remus turned her over onto her side to prevent her from choking if her body decided it longed to expel any more of her insides.

If she wasn't throwing up - she was crying. Remus didn't exactly know how to deal with that either, it was another chocolate situation, which in turn, probably wasn't helping with her sick situation.

While she rested, he lit a candle, got a vile of ink, and wrote a letter. He wrote to Minerva McGonagall.

'Dear Minnie,
I know this is rather late notice; but Kayda will be arriving at Hogwarts in a state which should be seen to by Pomfrey as soon as possible. She appears to be showing some sort of response to the Time-Travel, I don't recall that Dumbledore mentioned any consequences, but I am certain this is from that and even more certain that there will be more than just this. I know that you will look after her, I do hope she gives you less trouble than she did the first time.'

The owl didn't take long to return.

'Mr Lupin,
I understand. I will have Poppy see Miss Black as soon as she arrives. I assume some form of her condition will have something to do with the grief and trauma she has recently experienced as well - be patient with her, Remus. I shall also speak to Albus about anything else we need to expect. It is my honour to teach Miss Black for a second time, no matter how much strife she gives me.'

─ « ⋅ » ─

Sunday morning came quickly and certainly a lot faster than Remus had hoped. He was still in the middle of convincing his stubborn Niece to even get out of bed, let alone get on a train to a castle she didn't long to see.

"I said before; I'm not fucking going." Kayda's voice was getting louder and louder every time she had to repeat herself to him. She was doing better, though, throwing up less and she actually managed to sleep the whole way through the night. "You can't make me."

Turns out; he could make her.

She didn't say a word in the car as he drove to King's Cross Station. For a moment, Remus put the stereo player on, the CD turned loudly before the first few beats of an unintelligible Queen song echoed through the speakers - Kayda's hand flew out and ejected the disk before Freddie could even sing the first word, it didn't matter - they both knew it regardless.

"Sorry. It just- makes me...it reminds me of him." Kayda croaked, clearing her throat carefully.

Remus glanced away from the road to watch Kayda, sniff and wipe her sleeve under her eyes.

"Me too."

The car creaked as Kayda pulled her case out of the boot when they'd arrived. There was not a single word spoken between the two of them as they walked into the Train Station until they'd walked through the stone wall and were witness to many teary goodbyes.

Kayda stared at the Hogwarts Express with a completely blank expression. The thing that caused her eyes to shine like that of every parent in the room - was spotting a head of bushy, untamed brown hair boarding the train, pulling his suitcase behind him with immense difficulty.

"James..?" She whispered, her hand covering her mouth as it filled with saliva. Remus' neck could have snapped at how fast his head spun to follow Kayda's line of sight.

"Christ." He mumbled, his expression resembling Kayda's now. "It's their son."

Her hand fell from her face, swinging at her side where she disregarded it. "Fuck, he looks-"

"Just like his father." Remus finished with a heavy breath. His gaze switched to her, a slight smile gracing his lips. "I wonder who else that reminds me of."

Kayda looked up at him, her mouth fell agape when she realised what he meant and her eyes swelled quickly. It wasn't unheard of that the Black family gene's were strong - but Remus had raised Kayda telling her she looked just like Sirius.

Remus went on to very quietly remind Kayda that nobody could know anything about her past, nor what she was. She repeated that she understood.

It was then that Remus grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her tightly into a hug. His arms surrounded her head protectively, one running his fingers through her hair, the other pressed against her shoulder blade. "Goodbye, sweetheart."

She sunk into him with a long breath. Her arms raised from her sides to wrap around his torso and squeeze. "Goodbye, Moony."

─ « ⋅ » ─

The trolley arriving at their compartment door was something that Kayda hadn't experienced, and she thought she had it all figured out. The lady, who was much older now, apologised profusely, and mentioned that two boys further down the corridor had simply bought the lot.

Which meant that once again, Kayda was peering through the glass of compartment doors - this time looking for heaps and heaps of sweets. If it weren't for the fact that she needed a distraction, she'd have just stayed in her compartment, but the sudden flashbacks were getting to her.

During her search, Kayda stumbled into a pair of perfectly white-haired twins. Who not only looked incredibly alike - but were obviously related to none other than Lucius Malfoy.

"I can walk by myself, Freya!" The boy shoved his sister's arm off of his own as he spat at her, it was futile as she just grabbed his wrist instead. His hair was perfectly straight and fell just over his eyes, he was forced to shake his head every other second to remove it from his vision.

"Go on then, you dumbass." Freya retorted, she laughed loudly whilst ignoring his poorly phrased request for her to let go of his wrist as she dragged him along behind her.

"Father said: you're not to call me that, Freya!" 'Dumbass' replied aggressively, he spoke with a very whiny voice as he tried to yank his arm back, but Freya appeared to be stronger than him.

"Well, Father isn't here. Is he?" Freya cackled this time, yanking at her brother yet again.

The pair of them pushed past Kayda without any sign of hesitation or regret - there was no apology, or even a glance to show that they acknowledged her being there. She watched as the pair continued down the corridor, treating anyone else they came across with the same manners.

She found the compartment containing the contents of the trolley, and immediately stepped away from the sliding door - sat inside, was Harry. She'd pushed herself up against the window opposite, part of her was begging it to smash so that she fell out.

With a long breath, she pushed herself away from the window and hit her knuckles against the window, drawing their attention.

"Sorry-" She mumbled after pulling the door back. "I just wanted...something off the trolley, and,"

"Of-course," Harry laughed, gesturing to it all beside him and his friend, "I had some leftover birthday money, and Ron and I couldn't decide what we wanted. Take your pick."

Kayda couldn't take her eyes off the boy. His messy hair, and perfectly circular glasses. She quickly snapped herself out of her trance and snatched up a Chocolate Frog from the seat beside Harry - dropping a few coins in its place.

After muttering a quick, "Thanks." She was gone. Out the door and rushing back to her compartment with the box shaking in her hands as she went.

Despite the fact that the corridor was completely empty, Kayda still felt as though she was being forced to push through people as she hurried down it. Her breathing was out of time with her pace and her mind was running faster than she was able to keep up with.

She knew she was getting closer and closer to her compartment, she had to force every memory out of her head that Lillian couldn't see. Without any hesitation, she slid the glass door open and strode in with a fake smile plastered on her face.

She shouldn't have bothered to clear her mind - because Lillian wasn't in the compartment she'd walked into.

Lillian wasn't in the compartment with 'MARAUDERS' carved above the door.

Kayda may have slammed the door shut behind her, she may have also dropped her chocolate frog that she'd just 'bought' on the floor of the compartment too - she wouldn't know. The entire process of leaving the compartment full of older students was not done consciously. She had no idea if she'd apologised for barging in or if she'd merely left.

It didn't matter now, she just set back on her original mission of returning to her compartment. Yet, much like everything else that day, it didn't go how she wanted it to.

"Wait," called a voice, with a rather thick Scottish accent. Kayda halted suddenly, her shoulders tensing. She was the only person in the corridor, but perhaps if she ignored him; he would- "hold up, you dropped your chocolate!" Never-mind.

He was getting closer by the second, she didn't need to turn around to know that the boy was walking towards her.

"Uhm," he coughed slightly, "are you alright?" He wasn't practically shouting now, his voice was a lot softer and Kayda could tell that there was a smile on his lips.

Kayda inhaled quickly and turned around with a low smile, "I'm ok." She looked up at her pursuer and her fake smile fell slowly as her eyes observed him without a second thought.

Looking down at her was a boy with short, light brown hair that was sticking up in every direction it possibly could. He smiled without his teeth, the creases beside his mouth more prominent with the line his lips made. His eyes were a dark brown, almost black. Kayda couldn't see his pupils within them, but she could see the black outline in between the brown and whites of his eyes.

"Alright, liar." He chuckled, smiling wider before running his tongue along the bottom of his top teeth, a slight smirk on his lips as he looked at her. Kayda scoffed, softly smiling. Genuinely, this time. "Like I said," he lifted his hand up, within it sat her chocolate frog, "you dropped this."

"My saviour." She sighed, rolling her eyes and tilting her head as she looked back up at the boy with something tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"'Didn't want your purchase to be a waste of money, see." He laughed, his accent rolling off his tongue pleasantly.

It seemed he'd intended for Kayda to take the box from his extended hand- when she didn't, he reached down and grabbed Kayda's wrist carefully, lifting it to meet his hand before placing the chocolate in her own gently.

Kayda's face had fallen the second she felt his fingers against the cuff of her hoodie, she'd instantly stared down at what he was doing before swallowing hard and thanking him silently with an awkward smile.

He laughed again, before his smile fell to a slightly more nervous one. He was very obviously about to ask something, the expression made Kayda breathe a small laugh.

His lips parted, and closed.

"Kayda." She spat out quickly, apparently taking it upon herself to speak this time, "my name- uhm, Kayda." She hadn't really expected to blurt her own name to him, and was trying to act as relaxed as possible.

His eyes creased as his mouth curved, clearly noticing her cheeks as they reddened.

"Well, Kayda - I'm Oliver."