You’re my Candle

ESCAPE FROM AZKABAN!
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WIZARD?
APPROACH WITH EXTREME CAUTION!

A child who has lost everything will sit on the doorstep of a house that is no longer there and the daughter of a wounded Father will never not place him on a pedestal he is destined to fall off of.

The parchment was shaking too vigorously in her hands for Kayda to even try and read any of the smaller print – her eyes were locked on Sirius Black's face anyway.

There was an owl hooting at her from the windowsill, impatiently waiting for her to give it a treat for delivering the mail. Kayda hadn't even had a chance to see that there was a pile of letters about to fall into the sink, the Daily Prophet had been in her hands the second she saw her father's face.

She didn't sob or wail yet. She'd been grieving him as if he had died since she learnt how to walk without holding his hand – how odd it was to be haunted by someone who was still alive.

"No...no, he can't–" She whispered to nobody as her blurring eyes scanned the page a million times, flipping as quickly as she could to where it said there would be more information. She was worried the pages would rip by how hastily she was tearing through them.

'Prisoner 390, SIRIUS BLACK, the notorious killer – has ESCAPED FROM AZKABAN. Take immediate caution and DO NOT engage this man. DO NOT attempt to use magic against this man. Any information leading to the arrest of this man shall be duly rewarded. Notify, immediately by owl, the Ministry of Magic.'

The page shook more and more as she sunk to the floor, her back against the old kitchen cabinet that she lent against. Her breathing was suddenly rapid and uncontrollable. She sobbed and wailed. She gasped for air, her knuckles whitening with every second she gripped onto the parchment in her hands. She re-read the words, not truly believing them. It was when the first cry left her lips that she was suddenly pressing her hands tightly over her mouth so as to not wake her resting Uncle.

The owl above her, however, only grew louder – his demand for treats getting desperate as he saw Kayda make no effort to even open the cupboard containing them.

The Daily Prophet had fallen onto the floor by her feet, which were pressed as tightly to her body as physically possible, without her noticing. Her knees were drawn up to her chest, her elbows wrapped around them. She could feel her skull pushing hard against the wood behind her.

Her blurred eyes found Sirius' face again– his hair was a matted mess and she knew he'd hate it. His striped robes were covered in dirt and what looked more like blood than anything else, it was ripped so much that she could see the majority of his tattoos.

Remus had been stirred awake by the owl. Kayda didn't really notice. The only thing she could hear was her own heartbeat in her ears, her cheeks stained red and soaked wet the longer she stared at the moving picture of Sirius yelling.

"Sweetheart?" He groaned as he walked into the kitchen, seeing the owl first and sighing before noticing his Niece sobbing on the floor below it. "What's happened?" His tone changed – spilling over with concern as he knelt at her side instantly, his hand finding her shoulder and squeezing it tightly.

No words left her mouth when she parted her lips, so instead she just kicked her foot at the parchment on the floor, telling him to pick it up. He lifted it with confusion plastered on his face – and then he froze just like she had done.

"He's–" She cried, staring at Remus' blank face. "Moony...he's back." The words barely left her mouth.

"He can't hurt you, darling." Remus grumbled, not looking at her.

She felt her face contort, not even attempting to hide her bewilderment at his words.

"What-? I– I'm not afraid of that."

"You should be." He spat back quickly.

Kayda swallowed hard, gripping the edge of the cabinet behind her and pulling herself to her feet.

"No." She wept. "He– you know that he wouldn't!"

"No, I don't. Not anymore." Remus was standing too now, still refusing to look her in the eyes. He threw the Daily Prophet onto the table and stepped around Kayda as she stared at him – completely unable to take her eyes off her Uncle.

She stuttered over her words, unable to convey them the way she wanted to. "You cannot seriously believe he...killed– Remus!"

Remus responded by merely sighing.

Kayda scoffed in disbelief, tears slipping off her cheeks and into her open mouth before her lips pressed together tightly. She swallowed as the blood began to pound louder in her ears. Her eyes locked onto the back of his head as her own shook from side to side. It was one step backwards at first, until it became a stumbling sprint out the door and into the woodlands just outside their house. She could feel her body thudding with her heart, jolting her balance the faster she ran.

The worst part was she already knew Remus thought Sirius to be guilty – she just hadn't expected him to be so certain that her father would harm them.

Her face was in the sharp ground before she could even think about what led to her being there. After lifting herself up onto her elbows and looking down to her feet, she realised that she had tripped over a tree root. Her arms gave way and she was once again laying with sticks and stones digging into her body. Kayda just allowed herself to stay there for a moment, feeling the sweat drip down her arms and face the longer she did. The dizziness hadn't stopped when she opened her eyes again, the world felt just as unstable as her legs.

Remus found her moments later propped up against the base of a tree, sitting completely still – her face expressionless but covered in dirt.

He breathed quietly, "Kayda?"

"Go away." She spat. He sat down beside her regardless. "That's the opposite–"

"I know. Shut up." He tried smiling at her. She ignored his curved lips, but noticed that, in his hand, was a bar of chocolate. "Have some? Please."

With a long breath, and a poor attitude, Kayda took some of his chocolate and ate it – not once looking right at Remus.

"I want to apologise, sweetheart." He kept leaning forward to try and get into her line of sight every time she turned her head further away from him. "Can I do that?"

"Am I stopping you?"

His hand rubbed his face in what appeared to be exasperation, a way to calm himself perhaps. "I'm sorry for suggesting that Sirius would hurt you – the Sirius that you know, wouldn't even think of it." Remus held out the chocolate again when he noticed Kayda's jaw stop moving. "He changed during the war. You have to understand that."

Kayda looked at him now, her expression softening slightly.

"After Regulus died, and you were born – he was an entirely different man. He was bitter, and quick to anger." Remus was staring at the tree roots between their feet now, his hand reaching to pick at the twigs laying beside them. "The only time that I even...recognised him, was when he was holding you."

"I just miss him."

"I–" Remus took such a deep breath that Kayda saw the exhale blow some of her hair across her face. "I miss him too, sweetheart."

Kayda sat up a little straighter, turning her body slightly. "I miss everyone." Her head hit the trunk of the tree beside her, with her eyes staring directly into Remus' – except his were bloodshot.

After a long hour of nothing but silence, Remus returned to their cabin. He was, understandably, exhausted from the full moon the night before.

The second her uncle was gone, Kayda clambered up the tree she'd been leaning against, being especially careful not to snag the crimson Quidditch jumper that was far too big for her frame on the snapped branches as she did. Remus was often finding her either running in the woods or sitting up in one of the million trees in the forest. It didn't matter if it was raining, whatever the weather – there would always be a tree she could hide in.

It was about a month before she'd be returning to Hogwarts for her third year, the first two hadn't gone as smoothly as she'd been hoping.

Contrary to what Remus had told her to do when she left, Kayda found herself arguing with the Malfoy twins the second she was given the opportunity. It drew attention to her, as their reputation was directly linked to their faces, whereas her own was singularly tied to her name as she'd been hidden from sight her entire life.

Their animosity didn't last long, at least not with Freya – especially when Kayda had to settle into a bed only five feet from the blonde girl.

Wandering into the Slytherin Common room, like many of her ancestors before her, was one of the things Kayda had not been expecting when she got on the train that morning.

─ « ⋅ » ─

Days later and their owl was demanding more treats for delivering several letters all addressed to Kayda – it was her friends. They'd clearly seen the Daily Prophet and, knowing Sirius was her father, wrote to her.

She sprinted upstairs with them gripped tightly in her hands, it wasn't like she'd not been in contact with any of them – but Kayda desperately needed something to distract her busy mind.

'Kay, oh-my-Merin, I just had to write to you. I saw the Prophet earlier and immediately grabbed my pen! You must be chuffed, you were only saying last year how much you missed him– he had to have heard you. Draco and I have already said we'll escort you to King's Cross. I doubt your Uncle feels like leaving the house until Black is caught, right? I know I wouldn't. Anyway, I'll see you soon girl. Take care, luv Freya x'

Kayda smiled at the girl's perfect, cursive handwriting. It was almost like Freya was here, Kayda could only read the words in her voice. She set it aside, to reply to later, and tore open the next one.

'To Kayda,
How are you feeling? I suspect you're rather shaken up after the news – I really did not expect that to happen before term even started. It's an incredible accomplishment, truly is. Sadly, I don't think the Ministry is ever going to give up catching him. Hopefully, you'll get to see him before they do, right?
I’ll see you on the train, Daphne.'

Daphne was always one to use proper grammar when writing. Kayda placed the perfectly creased letter on top of Freya's as she picked up the next one.

She recognised his handwriting immediately. Oliver.

'Hiya love, Im really shootin in the dark by guessin youve seen the daily prophets most recent article, yknow, seen as youre in the middle of nowhere in that cabin of yours (sarcasm by the way). Seriously though, I hope youre alright – and I'll be seeing you soon, so theres always that to look forward to if youre not. Im gonna take another wild guess and assume that youre wearing my jumper while reading this (mum wasnt happy she had to buy me a new one). Dont you worry about writin back, darlin. Love, Oliver x'

Another thing that instantly told Kayda it was from him, was the complete lack of punctuation. Daphne had found one of the letters from him once, and almost passed out. The corner of Kayda's mouth lifted as she scanned over his words again and again before she held it close to her chest – knowing damn well she'd be writing back.

She was mid-writing when Remus' voice echoed up the stairs, calling her for dinner. After finishing her sentence, she jogged downstairs without any hesitation, rubbing any ink on her hands off on her trousers.

"That's a bad habit." Remus laughed, noticing.

"Oh yeah? Well, I get it from you, Moony."

He scoffed, smiling gently as he sat down, "believe me, I know."

They ate in silence for a moment, conversation refusing to stick due to the bitter ending of their last one.

"Freya suggested that the Malfoys take me to Kings Cross," Kayda said suddenly, stuffing food into her mouth as she did. Remus looked up quickly, eyebrows furrowed, "they figured you wouldn't wanna leave the house, y'know, with Sirius 'on the loose'."

"Oh right," he tutted, "they think we're enemies."

"You're not?"

He sighed again, "no, Kayda. I don't believe that Sirius has broken out of Azkaban just to come finish me off."

Kayda smirked. "He's gonna, what now?" She stifled a laugh.

"Seriously?" He smiled, putting his fork down.

Another hidden chuckle behind her hand.

"There is no doubt you're his daughter." Remus hummed, scooping another mouthful.

Kayda sat up a little straighter, doing the same. "Now, is that my worst or best quality?" She pointed with her fork, leaning forward with a grin on her face.

"Worst. Definitely." Remus couldn't help but smile back at her. "Explain what this arrangement would be with the Malfoys, then?" He took a sip of his drink.

"I'd go to Malfoy Manor a few days before school starts and they'd take me to Kings Cross when they go."

"It's up to you, sweetheart."

"I think it'll be nice to see Frey."

"And Draco?"

She blew a jet of air between her lips, pulling a face. "I mean, he's alright. Not as bad as– hold on," she paused, staring at her grinning Uncle across the table, "you have only ever referred to Draco as 'Lucius' frog-spawn', you don't know his name."

"Well, I can't exactly call him that in class, now can I?" Remus chuckled, scraping at his plate to get the last of his food off it. "Lucius would have my bloody head."

"What the shit are you on about?" Kayda leant back in her chair, staring at Remus, her brows drawn together. "Class?"

"Oh, right...Dumbledore contacted me. You are looking at your Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor." He smirked, tilting his head.

Her eyes widened, her brows shooting up in contrast as her jaw fell open. "No shit. You're messing with me."

"I am not." Remus held back a laugh, which made him look even more quilty.

"You so are!"

It took some convincing, but eventually, after getting up and showing Kayda the letter from Dumbledore – she believed him.

"Prongs was sooo right." She cackled, grabbing handfuls of his jumper as she shook him gently. "He bought you that goddamn suitcase with 'Professor Lupin' engraved on it." Kayda was laughing rawly now, her cheeks beginning to hurt by how widely she was smiling. "He just knew."

"Oh, obviously." Remus beamed. "Probably had a time-turner of his own, crafty bastard."

"Ew, I have to spend every-day with you now." She tutted, pulling a face and falling down into her chair again.

Remus laughed in shock, hitting her shoulder when she sat down. "Oi–"

She gasped suddenly, "even more ew; all my friends are gonna know you." She purposefully strained her voice to make sure he knew she was messing around. "Daph's gonna love you."

Remus sat down opposite her again. He grinned, running his tongue over his bottom teeth. "I get to finally speak to that boy of yours."

Kayda's face dropped. "Don't you fucking dare."