Chapter 8
Unlike the week before, Remus Lupin was first to get to the library that evening. After the morning's events, and his 'temper tantrum' (James' words, not his), he'd been anxious to speak to Y/N and find out what exactly it was that Dumbledore had said to her. She hadn't been in any more of his Monday classes, and at lunch and dinner she was nowhere to be seen. Of course, by the time dinner eventually rolled around, the entire school was well aware of Y/N and Bellatrix's little mishap. It was all anybody could talk about - including Remus' display of objection to Slughorn's punishment.
"Fucking hell Moony, bit unlike you to go storming out of a lesson. Was it really that big of a deal?" James had asked that evening as the Marauders and the girls sat munching away on a rather delicious array of sausages, mashed potato, and seasonal vegetables.
"The headline of the day; 'Moony - The Protector of Justice'." Peter had joked, holding his hands in the air as if he really was a journalist for the Daily Prophet. Remus had been suffering from his friends constant teasing all day, but for the first time in his life, he failed to see the funny aspect of it. It was just as much a mystery to him as it was to his friends.
"Just leave it." he'd said to them all, rolling his eyes in the process.
"I think it was good of you to speak up for her, Remus," Lily had tried to console from across the table. Her eyes were sympathetic, as was her smile, showing the young werewolf that at least one person understood why he was so cranky about the whole ordeal, "And James, I have no idea why you're making fun of him. If you'd heard what Bellatrix was saying to Y/N and Alice, you'd be just as angry."
"I don't even want to know. That girl's been a cunt since the day she wriggled out of my aunt." Sirius had added, casting a look over at Remus, who had his eyes forced on his plate and nothing else. Sirius, although arrogant towards most, always had been the total opposite when it came to Remus Lupin. Unlike James and Peter, who'd grown up in loving homes, the two of them had lived quite the contrasting childhoods. Thus, when something was clearly eating at his friend, he had a knack for approaching it tentatively rather than jovially. Sirius made a mental note in his mind to speak to Remus that night.
When Remus had arrived to the library half an hour earlier than Y/N had scheduled, he'd been silently hoping that he'd already find the witch in there, scribbling away amongst a tower of books. To his dismay, she wasn't. But at least it gave Remus a chance to pull himself together. It had been exactly a week since he'd found himself enthralled in the mystery of Y/N L/N. He'd thought about her every night for seven consecutive days, but had made little effort to understand why. Of course, with the full moon rising in only two weeks, his senses were getting keener every day - that explained why he was so quick to notice her smell and her voice. But it was incredibly unlike him to become so suddenly preoccupied by anyone, let alone a girl, and what was worse was that it seemed to get more and more intense with each passing day.
The boy actually found himself looking forward to his next transformation; at least after that perhaps he would stop hyper-focusing on the girl.
It was bang on 7 o'clock when Y/N made her entrance. She was wearing a long black skirt, layered with a loose-fitting jumper that almost drowned her. Her hair was wrapped into a bun, and although she appeared to be her normal self, her eyes seemed a little distracted.
When she walked into the empty library, Remus stood up.
"Y/N." was all he could say. What he really wanted to ask was 'Where the fuck have you been?' But of course, who was he to demand an answer like that?
"Hello. I'm sorry, I didn't know you were already here." she apologised, walking over and taking the seat opposite him across the table. She noticed that although he was sat here, none of his books were out - maybe he'd only just arrived himself.
"No, don't worry. It's just, no one had seen you all day, I thought if you'd be anywhere, you'd be in here," he replied, watching her every move, "Are you...okay?"
Y/N was placing her books and notes out neatly on the table, avoiding his eyes as much as she possibly could.
"I am. I'm sorry about this morning, I didn't mean to cause anybody any trouble. I shouldn't have lost my temper the way I did." she said. In actuality, Y/N was embarrassed. She was fully aware that the school would be discussing the events of the morning, and hated the fact that it revolved around her anger. It was humiliating.
"Of course you didn't. Everybody knows you didn't do anything wrong. Was Dumbledore angry about it?"
For the first time since that morning, Y/N's eyes met Remus'. She saw the earnestness in his face, and realised that perhaps she should've gone to Lily, Alice, and Remus to explain that she had been let off the hook.
"He was actually very understanding. I have a feeling he might've already known about the whole thing before I even got to his office."
Remus smiled, feeling relieved that she hadn't gotten into any trouble - the Headmaster really did never miss a trick.
"I mean, it's Albus Dumbledore. What doesn't he know?" he replied, emitting a small chuckle from the girl opposite him.
"True," she said, "Anyway, we should probably get started on this assignment."
And just like that, the topic was forgotten, and the two students turned their focus towards Amortentia. As they made notes, discussed, and queried over their chosen potion, Y/N couldn't help but get lost in the boy's ambiance. She loved how his mind seemed to work alongside hers, and his questions were rarely stupid (which was rather rare in comparison to the rest of the Hogwarts population). There was no denying that the pair worked well together, now they had gotten over their prior dislike for one another. It seemed like a million years ago that Y/N would actively avoid anything to do with Remus Lupin - now, she revelled in his intellect. Of course, there was something else about him that Y/N was engrossed by, something a little deeper than just a regard for his academia. Whether it was his soft voice or tender characteristics, she couldn't quite put a pin on it. But regardless, she couldn't stop herself from staring at him when he wasn't looking. It was truly foreign for her to notice somebody this much, and also a little distracting.
"Have you...had anymore thoughts on brewing the potion?" she asked, navigating the question cautiously. His reaction to the idea last week had been anything but enthusiastic, yet her own stance on the matter remained strong. After all, how were the two of them supposed to truly understand the enticement of Amortentia without experiencing it themselves? Remus looked up from his parchment with one eyebrow raised.
"I really don't understand what makes you think it would be such a good idea." he replied. Y/N pursed her lips.
"Is it not obvious? Our assignment will be ten times more detailed, even if we only attempted to make it. The recipe doesn't call for anything too drastic - obviously, I would have to break into Slughorn's office-"
"Break in? God, Y/N, sometimes it's as if you're actually going mad. Even if we did get the ingredients, and somehow managed to make it, what then? Drink it?" Remus wasn't quite sure what to expect when he asked the question, but it certainly wasn't the stern seriousness that plastered Y/N's face as he spoke. She really was full of surprises.
"The effects would only last a few hours if that..."
Remus Lupin wasn't quite sure what to make of the proposition. It was foolish, and dangerous, not to mention they could both get expelled if they were caught. Of course, he had no doubt in his mind that Y/N would've carefully thought through the plan before he even agreed, yet he wasn't certain whether that made the idea less disconcerting, or more so. But the last thing he wanted to do was let her down. He knew that if she wasn't working with him on the assignment, she would've already tried and tested the potion by now, and would probably already have her project neatly written on thirty pieces of parchment in her school bag.
On top of all of that, there was his own problem to deal with. How would his lycanthropy react to such a powerful love potion? And if he was to take it too close to the cycle, what would happen? Could he put Y/N in danger? There was also something else to consider...
"We have no idea how either of us could react to Amortentia, Y/N. If we brew it wrong, we could - hell, we could end up killing ourselves," Remus argued, "And if we did make it properly, what then?"
"We won't mess it up, if that's what you're asking. And as for what happens after we take it, only one of us would have to actually take it. The other one just, y'know, makes notes and makes sure we don't end up running off and marrying someone." Y/N giggled as she said the last part of her plan, but Remus wasn't blind to her solemness.
"And where exactly do you think all of this is going to happen, huh? The Room of Requirement? The Three bloody Broomsticks? Y/N, it's too dangerous. Something bad is going to happen, I just know it." By now, Remus was almost pleading for her to see reason. He knew he shouldn't have been shocked that the girl would do anything in the pursuit of academic achievement, but even for him (who had been dealing with James and Sirius for the past 5 years), it was too risky.
"The Shrieking Shack."
She had said it so plainly, as if it was obvious. The Shrieking Shack: Remus' 'safe haven' every full moon, the place where once a month, he would double over in excruciating pain whilst his friends - in Animagus form - would watch on and wait for the wolf to make his dazzling appearance. If only Y/N knew what went on in that house, perhaps she wouldn't have even brought it up. And why, for the love of God, was she not terrified of it like the rest of Hogwarts?
"No. Absolutely not," Remus snapped, "That place-fucking hell, it's haunted, Y/N. It's home to the, well, the unknown. Who knows what sort of shit happens in that building at night?"
"Lupin, please, even you are not stupid enough to know that all of that is folklore. Stuff to scare kids. You don't really think it's haunted, do you?" Y/N spoke humorously - she hadn't expected her potions partner to believe in such nonsense, but his reaction was nothing short of entertaining. He'd gone pale in the face, making his scars far more prominent, and his eyes were wide with fear. It was truly a sight to behold, in Y/N's eyes.
"I think you're being ridiculous. And, I don't think any bloody project is worth what you're suggesting," Remus said angrily, standing up suddenly and packing his bags, "There's too many things that could go wrong, and I never took you as reckless. Maybe if you were partnered up with Sirius, you'd get to carry out your silly little plan, but unfortunately for you, I don't think this is worth risking my life at Hogwarts, and neither should you. So, goodnight, I'll see you next Monday."
Y/N sat there silently, unable to convey Remus' sudden rush of irritation and minutely wounded by the way he was speaking. In that moment, she felt exactly the way he described her - stupid. Although she had a fully fool-proof plan, and never had doubted herself before, as she watched him turn away and head to the library, his words somehow got to her in a way nothing had before. She swallowed, and stood up quickly.
"I've been there before." she called out. The boy stopped, and turned on his foot slowly.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I've been to the Shrieking Shack. A few times, actually."
"How?" asked Remus, failing to hide how stunned he was that she'd actually entered his hiding space and never knew about it.
"There's a passage, underneath the Weeping Willow. I found it in my second year. It takes you straight there. I've brewed quite a few forbidden potions in there," Y/N said, gazing at him from the door where he stood, "And, it's not haunted. In fact, it's quite the opposite. It's just...damaged."
Remus looked at the girl curiously. He felt far more naked than he'd care to admit - she had stepped into his monthly prison cell, yet had no idea what kind of pain and torment he went through every time he entered it. She knew the Marauder's secret entrance, and she'd sat on those wooden floorboards he often found himself curled up to after every full moon...she knew everything, and yet nothing at the same time. For the teenage wizard, it was terrifying.
"Like I said," he said slowly, "You're being ridiculous. Goodnight, Y/N."
And with that, Remus Lupin made his exit, and left his dear Potions partner standing alone in the library.
...
Sirius Black had been sat on his own in the Common Room for quite some time before his dear Moony ran in. He'd been staring at the fireplace, listening to some muggle band called 'Bon Jovi' on the Gyrffindor record player, and wondering why Remus Lupin had seemed so distressed for the past few days. Of course, the events of the day led him to believe (rightly so) that the cause of his anguish was none other than pretty little Y/N L/N herself. Why she was bothering him so much, he had no idea, but it got the young pure blood thinking. He considered the fact that she was simply annoying his friend, but despite her over-achieving tendencies and sharp tongue, he couldn't imagine that Remus would let himself get so riled up over something so small. He pondered over the possibility that he was stressed out because of the Potions assignment, but it was frightfully unlike Moony to get bogged down with school work - he was far too clever for that. Then, there was the prospect of attraction.
Sirius Black was no stranger to attraction himself. He'd fucked half the girls in his year already, and been in a few relationships over the past year or so that always ended in him breaking somebody's heart. James was obviously in love with Lily Evans, meaning that he clearly understood the pressure of attraction too, and although pitiful, Peter Pettigrew was prone to fancying girls just as much as anyone (albeit less well-known for ever doing anything about it). Sirius toyed with the idea that perhaps his best mate was growing an interest in Y/N beyond the tribilations of Advanced Potions. Sirius could understand why that might be the case - Y/N was strangely alluring, with her innocent face and wicked wits. If he could, he'd have already had her by now. But if Remus wanted her, well, that was a different story entirely.
Remus was too notorious for pushing away that girls that liked him. It was his attempt at honourably 'protecting' these girls from anything bad ever happening to them under his hand (or paw). He'd shagged a few, obviously, but never let anything happen but that. Sirius was fully aware that Remus never let himself get too close to anybody besides the Marauders because of his lycanthropy - which is why it made perfect sense that the werewolf's tense aura the past few days could be caused by a sudden developing crush for Y/N. And, Sirius knew it had to be Y/N, if anyone, because he'd never reacted this way over any other girl they knew. It made perfect sense.
As if on cue, Remus Lupin suddenly made his entrance.
"Sirius, help me." Moony gasped, throwing his bags and books onto the floor and running over to his friend. Sirius stood up in panic, immediately worried by his friend's terrified expression, and grabbed his shoulders.
"Fucking hell, what's wrong mate?"
"It's Y/N..." the werewolf gasped, "She knows. And, she's going to figure it out. And she wants us to go there, and - FUCK! - she'll destroy me with it!"
Sirius struggled to make any sense of his friend's frightened rambling, and could do nothing but try to calm him down. He encouraged him to take a seat on the Common Room sofa, and watched in utter confusion as Remus put his elbows on his knees and held his forehead in his hands in fear. It was confounding.
"Okay mate, I'm going to need a little more info than just 'she'll destroy me with it.' Start from the beginning." said Sirius once Remus' breathing had slowed down a little and the boy had leaned back.
"She...She wants us to brew Amortentia. For the project. She's made this brilliant plan, has the whole thing sorted. But, when I asked her where she wants to carry it all out, she said the Shrieking Shack." Remus breathed. Sirius' eyes widened.
"Amortentia? What's she trying to do, get you all loved up? And the Shrieking Shack? Isn't everybody like, shit-scared of it?"
"Exactly!" Remus groaned, closing his eyes in exasperation, "She said it's for academic reasons, which knowing her is definitely true. But it's worse, Pads."
"How could it be worse?" asked Sirius.
"She knows. She knows about the passageway to the Shack. She's been there. A few times, to brew potions that are forbidden in school. She knows all of it. And if she knows all of that, it's only a matter of time before she knows about me, too."
Sirius mulled over the information for a few seconds, trying to make sense of it all. He had no idea how Y/N knew of the secret tunnel that lead to the Shrieking Shack, let alone how she'd managed to get in there without any of them seeing her on the Map. He knew why his friend was so worried, and couldn't quite find the words to resolve the situation. He resorted to thinking out loud.
"Okay, so she knows about the tunnel, and she's been to the Shack. She wants you both to sneak there so you can brew some forbidden potion without getting caught, and you're worried that she'll figure out your...condition...and tell everybody about it?" Remus only nodded to Sirius' rundown, "Well, what's the problem?"
Remus was stunned. How could Padfoot not understand him? Was he speaking another language?
"What do you mean, what's the problem? She's going to figure it out!"
"But she hasn't, has she? And if she hasn't yet, then she never will. And yeah, I'm just as surprised as you are that she's so bloody rebellious and managed to hide it behind her 'Miss Perfect' facade, but it's really not that bad." Sirius said, shrugging his shoulders and watching his friend's face fall as he dwelled over what he'd said.
"She's too clever not to realise sooner or later." Remus argued.
"If she was, then she'd already know and we'd have a fifth Marauder running around with us every full moon trying to keep you from killing yourself. Moony, you know it's not that big of a deal."
"What are you trying to say, Sirius?" the werewolf asked, trying to get to Sirius' point but feeling apprehensive to his conclusion nonetheless. He already knew what Sirius was going to say.
"I'm saying you should do it," said Padfoot casually, "If she wants to, and her plan is good, do it. It'll stop her from being too curious about why you hate the Shrieking Shack so much, and after that you won't have to worry about being the main suspect in her mind when she does eventually start wondering why that house gets more and more trashed every month."
Remus Lupin was speechless. A few minutes ago, he'd been so uncontrollably frightened that he couldn't speak straight. A few minutes ago, he'd been worried for his life that Y/N would ruin everything for him. But as Sirius spoke, he realised that actually, it wasn't so bad at all. In fact, it was good - she knew all about the Shack, she knew all about the secret tunnel and the false allegations about the 'haunted' building, yet she was still completely oblivious to the fact that Remus was (for all intents and purposes) the tenant of it. Guilt rushed over him as he pictured the witch sat alone, studying for their project after being walked out on by her partner.
"You really think it's a good idea?" asked Remus, meeting his best friend's eyes with deep sincerity.
"Honestly, I think it's a great one. It'll be fun. Plus, you get to see what she's really like. I'm just bloody jealous it's not going to be me in that house alone with her." Sirius grinned, notioning towards the idea of making love to a Amortentia-infected Y/N. Remus grimaced, but nodded slowly.
"Okay. Alright. I'll do it," he said, "But if this goes wrong and I end up fucking expelled before I've got my OWLs, I will kill you Padfoot." Sirius smirked at the threat, knowing full well that any plan of Y/N's was never destined to fail.
"I'll take my chances mate."
...
Y/N lay in bed later that night, biting her lip and fighting off a headache that plagued her temples as she thought over the events of the past few hours. She still hadn't quite gotten over how Remus had snapped at her. It was quite unlike her to be so bothered by words, but Remus' had truly gotten to her. She hated the idea that in his mind, she was a silly little girl who wanted to rebel. She despised the thought that he would be laughing with his friends right that second, probably telling them all about how stupid she was being. It made her regret everything that had happened over the past few week - her opening up, coming out of her shell, even developing friendships with the girls. Y/N vowed to herself that by tomorrow morning, she would crawl back into her cave of books and quietness, and never come out of it again.
It was just as she settled down to sleep when a small piece of parchment flew into her room from the open window next to her bed and landed softly onto her lap. It was so dark in the dorm that Y/N could hardly see through the curtain of blackness what it was that had brushed against her legs, but as she groped for her wand and cast a small 'Lumos' charm, her heart beat raised involuntarily.
Written on front of the small square of parchment read 'To Y/N' in familiar handwriting. The ink was still a little wet, and it smudged over her fingertips as she folded the note open to read its contents:
'I'll do it. 30th September.
We can plan next Monday - R'
Y/N smiled to herself as she read the words, and couldn't stop when she dropped her head against her pillow.
Perhaps she wouldn't crawl back into her shell just yet.