Evan shifted in bed, trying to get comfortable. He had woken up from a dream and he couldn't get back to sleep. He'd been awake for an hour already. Or five minutes, he couldn't really tell.
He shut his eyes, trying to block out the silence that was keeping him up. He could hear Regulus moving in his bed. Evan wondered if he was awake.
He lay there quiet, for a moment, waiting for another sound out of Regulus. He was surprised to hear a muffled laugh.
“Wow, Regulus, what beautiful eyes you have. The stars would envy you.”
Barty?
Regulus giggled.
𝘎𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘭𝘦𝘥?
“It’s dark, you loser. You can't even see my eyes.”
“Their beauty shines even through the darkness.”
“Shut it,” Regulus ordered, but there was fondness in his voice.
𝘍𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴?
What is happening? Evan thought maybe he was still sleeping.
“You know, you’re the most beautiful boy I’ve ever laid eyes on,” Barty crooned.
“Shush,” Regulus laughed. “Evan will hear you.”
What!? What’s that supposed to mean?
“It’s just Evan.” Barty dismissed. “It’s not a big deal.”
He thinks it’s not a big deal? He thinks Evan isn’t a big deal?
Evan shuffled in bed, instantly shutting them up. Barty whispered something he couldn’t hear.
He felt the mattress dip under Barty’s weight as he climbed in next to Evan. The nerve of this guy. He wrapped his arm around Evan, snuggling closer. Evan shifted away from him, not able to move very far.
He wondered how Barty could lay beside him after he had just been with Regulus. How could they do this to him and act like it's nothing?
Evan could hardly sleep that night. As soon as he heard Barty’s soft snores, he slipped out of his arms and into Barty’s empty bed.
When Barty woke up, Evan was gone. He asked Regulus if he’d seen him.
“He left earlier. He seemed mad. Are you guys okay?”
“I think so,” Barty answered. He tried to rack his brain for anything he might have done to upset Evan. He couldn’t think of anything.
But Evan didn’t sit with them during breakfast. He avoided Barty all day.
Evan had been avoiding Barty as best he could while he tried to figure out what to do about his situation. He was pretty sure his boyfriend was cheating on him with his friend, who also had a boyfriend.
That’s when it hit him. That’s what he should do. If Barty and Regulus wanted each other, then Evan would take James.
Not for real, of course. Evan didn't actually want to date James, he just wanted to get Barty back. He was sure when he told James he'd feel the same way.
Evan found James and his friends sitting in the courtyard. He approached their group, grabbing James by the arm.
“I need to talk to you.”
“Uh, alright,” James answered as Evan was already pulling him along.
Once they were away from the others, Evan whispered, “Regulus is cheating on you.”
“What?” James looked at him hesitantly.
“With Barty.”
“Is this a prank?”
Evan crossed his arms. “No, it's true. I heard them together last night.”
James's eyes widened in horror.
“Not like that,” Evan quickly dismissed the thought, “I just heard them talking.”
James was quiet for a moment, taking it in.
Eventually, he asked, “Are you sure?”
In his head, Evan replayed what he had heard.
“Regulus giggled,” he told James. “I'm pretty sure.”
“Oh.” James stared at his shoes, shifting from side to side. He said nothing.
“Hey,” Evan clapped a hand on James’s shoulder. “Don't get all mopey on me, we’re gonna get revenge.”
“I don't really want revenge,” James said.
“Well, I do. And I need your help.”
“Okay…”
“Come on.”
James let Evan drag him along to a seemingly random hallway. Regulus and Barty were standing down the hall together.
Without warning, Evan grabbed James’s face, smashing their lips together. James gasped in surprise, but he didn't pull away. His hands gripped Evan’s wrists.
James looked behind Evan at where Reg and Barty were standing. His eyes met Regulus’s wide-eyed stare. He kept watching as Barty dragged Regulus away.
James pulled away from Evan. “They left,” he informed him.
Evan looked back as if to confirm for himself.
“Did Barty look upset?” he asked.
“Uh, I was looking at Regulus,” James admitted.
“Whatever, I'll find out later.” Evan walked off, leaving James by himself.
James was still processing what had just happened. He kind of wanted to cry. Or scream. And he really needed a snack.
***
Regulus spotted James and Evan down the hall. Weird, he didn't think he'd ever seen them together like that. It was sort of nice, in a way, seeing his friend and boyfriend get along. Or it was nice until they started kissing.
Regulus’s eyes widened in utter disbelief.
What the hell?
He stood unable to move. James’s eyes found his, and he couldn't break their gaze. His boyfriend was literally making out with his friend and staring him in the eye.
He felt Barty tug him along as he walked away. He said something, but Regulus didn't hear.
They stopped abruptly, and Barty grabbed Reg by the shoulders, shaking him.
“Mate, are you good?”
“No, I'm not good,” Reg snapped. “Sorry,” he winced.
Barty shook his head. “What the actual bloody, motherfucking hell was that?”
“You saw that too?” Regulus asked. So he wasn't hallucinating.
“What? Yeah, that was…I don't know what that was.” Barty still had his hands on Reg’s shoulders. Regulus could tell his mind was spiraling.
Regulus wanted to hide in his bed and never come out for the rest of his life. Barty’s eyes sparked with anger. He wore the look he got when he was creating a plan.
“What are you thinking?” Regulus asked.
“Well, we've gotta get them back, don't we?”
“Okay…” Regulus didn't know if he wanted to do that. He was still grappling with the fact that James was cheating on him. With 𝘌𝘷𝘢𝘯.
It dawned on him that Barty must be feeling absolutely awful right now. How could Evan do that to him?
“Yeah, okay, what do you have in mind?” Regulus asked him.
***
Evan entered his dorm room to find Barty and Regulus sitting in bed together.
Hmm.
“Hey, guys,” he greeted, leaning against the bed. He smiled sweetly at them. They shared a brief glance.
“Hey, Evan,” Regulus greeted back.
Their eyes flitted back and forth between each other. No one said anything, letting the silence fill the awkward space between them.
Finally, Evan spoke up. “Well, I was gonna go meet up with Pandora,” he said.
He bent over Barty, bringing their faces close for a kiss. Barty kissed him back quickly, eyeing Regulus out of the corner of his eye. He couldn't believe Evan could kiss him so sweetly with the same mouth he had kissed James. 𝘑𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴. How could he do that to Regulus?
Barty wanted to confront him right there, but he knew it'd be better to stick with his plan. So he let Evan leave thinking Barty was oblivious to what he'd done.
***
The four boys skirted around each other all week, trying to catch the other couple together.
Barty and Regulus found Evan and James kissing outside the Great Hall before dinner.
Evan and James witnessed Barty and Regulus in the courtyard, all cuddly and smiley with one another.
Regulus and Barty had decided they would pretend to be cheating on their partners as well. Assuming they wouldn't take it well, beating them at their own game.
Of course, there was still the fact that their boyfriends were lying to them, but that was a problem for later.
Evan noticed Barty and Reg always sneaking off together. It drove him mad, but he contained himself by doing the same thing with James. Except Barty was doing it for real, but he'd confront him in time.
Evan wished Barty would confront him first, confessing to what he'd done and begging Evan’s forgiveness. Although Evan wasn't sure he could forgive this.
The next time he saw Barty and Reg together, he wasn't even looking for them. It had been getting harder to sneak around them, but he still caught them quite a few times.
This time they were wrapped up in a hug, Barty pressing his cheek against Reg’s head.
Evan crept closer, making sure he was out of sight. Not they would have noticed him. They were too absorbed in each other.
“You actually deserve so much better than that clown.” He heard Barty say.
He couldn't hear what Regulus said, but it resulted in a pained smile from Barty.
Evan started to wonder if James had done something shitty, and that's why Reg was cheating on him. That would make sense. But why Barty?
***
Barty and Regulus were becoming fed up with this charade. Evan and James were acting more and more distant from them. But they didn't crack. Nothing was happening, and they were just running around like fools trying to win a game they seemed to be playing with themselves.
Barty had barely spoken to Evan lately, and he didn't want to admit it, but he missed him. He also hated him at the same time. Of course, he managed to lose his boyfriend and his best friend. The fates really hated him.
Barty was lying in bed contemplating his life when Evan walked in.
Evan regarded him with a sneer.
“What’s your problem?” Barty returned his rude look.
“My problem?” Evan snorted. “You’re such a prick, you know that?”
Barty stood up to be face-to-face with Evan.
“Well, you're a horrible friend, a horrible boyfriend, and,” Barty quirked his lips in a smug smile, “you're a bad kisser.”
“Bad kisser?” Evan gasped. “Well, I'm sure you like kissing Regulus a lot better.”
Barty rolled his eyes. “You’re such a fucking loser, Evan,” he said sharply. “You can't possibly be mad at me when you're the one who stole your friend’s man. Who does that?”
“I didn't do that until after you guys did,” he shot back.
“That's literally impossible.”
“Don’t lie to me!”
“I'm not lying, dumbass, you cheated on me first. I saw you!” Barty ran a hand through his hair in frustration.
“I hate you!” Evan yelled.
“Okay? I hate you more!”
“Why don't you go tell Regulus about it?” Evan shouted.
“I'm not dating Regulus!” Barty threw his hands out in aggravation. “You're so dense.”
“You're not?” Evan asked, all the anger leaving his voice.
“Of course not. We were only pretending we were to get back at you and James for cheating on us.”
“But James and I were only doing that because we thought you guys were cheating on us.”
Barty blinked at him, utterly confused. “Wait, what made you think I was cheating on you with Regulus?”
“I heard you talking one night. You were in his bed. And he giggled. I kissed James after that.” Evan admitted.
Barty’s puzzled gaze was fixed on Evan. “I don't know what you're referring to, but I definitely wasn't sleeping with Regulus.” Barty racked his brain for any memory of whatever Evan was talking about.
“Sometimes he has bad dreams, so I get in bed with him, but it's not whatever you're thinking.”
Oh. Oops.
“But you sounded like you were-” It had sounded like Barty was flirting, but Evan was starting to think maybe he was joking. That's just how Barty spoke to everyone. But-
“Regulus was worried I would hear you two?”
“I’m assuming you were asleep.”
Oh yeah. And maybe Barty didn't care if Evan heard because they weren't flirting.
“I'm so stupid.” Evan covered his face with his hands.
“Yeah, you are.” Barty pulled Evan into a hug.
“Next time you think I'm cheating on you just punch me or something. That would be more bearable than seeing you make out with James Potter.”
“Oh god, I need to talk to Reg.” Evan groaned.
“You can do that later,” Barty said, scooping Evan up in his arms. “Right now, you're gonna make it up to me.”
He carried Evan over to the bed, tossing him down before throwing himself on top.
***
James was tired of running around Regulus. He wanted a straight answer. So he approached him for the first time in a week.
“Can we talk?” James asked.
“Oh, sure,” Regulus said with an icy tone. “Cause I'd love an explanation.”
“Uh, yeah, so would I?” James countered.
“Is it something I did? Cause you could just say something, you know.”
Regulus looked at James like he had said the dumbest thing Regulus had ever heard.
“Are you mental?”
James was extremely confused. “You cheated on me.”
“You cheated on me first.” Regulus accused.
“I did not! I was only pretending to cause you were cheating on me.”
“But that's what I- wait, what made you think I was cheating?” Regulus asked.
“Evan told me.”
“Why would he do that?” Regulus had no idea why Evan would believe he was cheating on James. And why would he confront James instead of Regulus?
“I knew he was punking me,” James said more to himself than Regulus.
Regulus thought if Evan had been punking James then he would have been in on it. Was Barty in on it? That'd be odd if he weren't. The situation seemed odd either way.
“I can't believe you kissed Evan.” Regulus frowned.
“Well, you kissed Barty, so we're even,” James said.
“That's fair,” Regulus agreed.
“Sorry about that, by the way,” James apologized.
“It's fine, it was Evan’s fault anyway,” Regulus said.
“What are we gonna do about that?” James asked.
Regulus shrugged. “We'll kill him later.”
Regulus threw his arms around James’s neck. James hummed in agreement, wrapping his arms around Regulus's waist.
***
The four boys sat together, having a terribly uncomfortable but much-needed conversation. To make sure everything was explained so they could put this behind them.
“I'm still kind of peeved you kissed my boyfriend,” Regulus told Evan.
“Yeah, sorry, but you kissed mine too. And you guys snuggle so-” Evan put his hands up in defense.
“We do not snuggle!” Regulus protested.
The other three boys just laughed. Evan leaned over and kissed Regulus on the cheek.
“There now we've all kissed.”
Regulus scowled at him, wiping at his cheek.
“Actually Barty and I haven't kissed,” James corrected.
“Please don't,” Regulus begged.
Barty grinned wickedly at James, who scooted away slightly. Barty tackled him to the ground, rolling on top of him. His knee pressed into James’s side. James wriggled between his legs, but Barty held him down.
He planted a sloppy kiss on James’s cheek. James managed to get one arm free and shoved Barty off him, sending him tumbling onto Regulus.
“You haven't been properly initiated into the group until Barty slobbers on you,” Regulus told James. Regulus looked down at Barty whose head was in his lap. He squished his cheeks, earning him a smooshed glare.
James was still lying on the ground, his head resting on his arms. He smiled up at his boyfriend. He was happy to be ‘properly initiated’.