Beautiful
The House of Black was a den of snakes. They were ambitious, determined and cruel. Cunning was apart of their DNA, passed down between generations. They were as dark as their name said and grew even darker still the farther you go down the line. A curse of insanity loomed over each generation, fate playing a dangerous game in choosing who to doom.
Sirius had been different. He wasn’t a snake, not at all. No, Sirius Black had been a lion fighting the slithering bastards keeping him trapped in the den.
Sirius was ambitious, sure. But they weren’t cruel, weren’t dark. They were loud, unafraid to be themselves. They were bold, forcing the words past the scaly noose around their throat. They were absurdly loyal, devoted for life. They were so fucking brave, standing up to Mother even when they knew they’d suffer for it anyway.
The House of Black was a den of snakes, Sirius Black was the lion in their midst and Regulus felt like a fucking lizard.
He wasn't brave like Sirius, he just- took whatever was thrown at him. He was cowardly, bending over backwards to avoid Mother's disappointment. Though, that being said, he wasn't exactly a snake either. Was he ambitious? Yeah, sure. Was he cruel? Absolutely. Was he dark? Yes, it was in his name after all. But he wasn't exactly what the House of Black wanted. He could try, and try, and try but could never quite live up to the expectations set for him. He wasn't cruel enough, wasn't a deep enough shade of Black.
Regulus wanted to be. He wanted to be a snake, just to see if Mother's 'soft' act could actually become reality, if she would be proud, if only he tried hard enough. He wanted to be brave, he wanted to be bold, to be loud, to be enough for Sirius. He wondered if he had been what Sirius had always wanted, his little partner in crime, would Sirius have stayed? Or would he have gone with him? If only he was enough, enough, enough.
He wasn't, though. Regulus wasn't a snake. Regulus wasn't a lion. No, the closest he would come to that would be his name- his chosen name, which had been the reason he chose it at all. Regulus, the brightest star in the Leo constellation, the heart of the lion. Though Regulus had long since vacated his home in Sirius' heart - whether he left or she evicted him, Regulus wasn't sure anymore - he could still dream. He could hope. He could try as hard as he could and, through his name, he would reside in the heart of the only lion Regulus would ever care about.
And he wanted people to know.
Regulus wasn't brave but that didn't mean he couldn't be.
When the opportunity arose, for once in his pathetic life, Regulus decided to be brave. For Sirius. For himself.
It was nearing the end of August, about two weeks before Regulus would begin his third year of high school, when he had received the news. Walburga would be leaving on a business trip, longer than any one she's ever taking before. She'd be leaving for four months, returning in December just in time to see whatever musical Hogwarts was to put on(Regulus still didn't know, Minnie had been oddly quiet about it).
Regulus would be alone for four months. Four months to be himself without anyone breathing down his neck and forcing expectations on his shoulders. And he'll be damned if he doesn't take the opportunity in all it's potential.
Walburga had barely even pulled out of the drive of 12 Grimmauld Place before Regulus was sprinting up to his room. He was glued to his laptop for maybe four hours, researching, and researching, and researching.
He had come down eventually and was hit with the realization that he would be alone for four months. He'd have to do everything himself. Laundry, general cleaning, cooking, shopping- everything.
It wouldn't be too much of an issue. Regulus did most things himself - except for maybe shopping and general cleaning, Walburga had always hired people for that. Money wouldn’t be a problem, he had access to all his family bank accounts. No, it was the sheer amount of responsibility that had him momentarily overwhelmed.
But Regulus took a deep breath, grabbed a pad of paper and a pen from one of the kitchen drawers. He planned things out- made grocery lists, printed off a calendar from his laptop and stuck it up on the fridge, delegating days he would do things.
He felt like such an adult, it made him a bit giddy. Ridiculous, he knows, but- well, he’s never been able to do things himself, without people telling him to do it first.
He fucking loved it.
It was a Saturday when Regulus took the first step in his master plan.
During Regulus’ internet scour, all glowing reviews about anything relating to hair pointed him to one place- or to one person.
"Alright, love," said Caradoc Dearborn, flashing him a brilliant smile through the mirror, pulling Regulus' hair back. "What can I do for you today?"
If you looked at Caradoc Dearborn and couldn't see that they were fine as hell, Regulus would recommended a visit to the optometrist. Shoulder-length, crimped golden blond hair pinned back on the one side with a hairclip of the non binary flag, a light stubble coating a truly criminal jawline, twinkling blue eyes and a sense of style that any sane human being would fucking die for- hmm. Regulus was very much a gay man.
"I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for, all I know is I want it gone. A good thirteen inches at least. I don't know any farther then that. This has been a...spur of the moment decision. Though, I read you're the person to go to for lost trans individuals so here I am and, from what I saw on your social media pages, I trust your judgement." Regulus rambled.
Caradoc cupped his jaw and tilted his head backwards to meet their gaze. An amused smile tugged at their lips. "Do you, though?"
"Not really," Regulus admitted weakly. "But I have no choice so if you could just..."
Caradoc grinned, letting go of his face. "Of course, love. I have the perfect idea for you."
Thirty minutes later and Regulus nearly cried at the sight of himself. He probably would have, if not for the fact his tits took away from the whole thing. But, that doesn't matter. That would be fixed soon enough. For now, he stared at himself and tried not to bawl like a little baby. He wasn't entirely there yet but one little bit at a time, the features of Regina Black were chipping away and Regulus was beginning to shine through.
His long hair had been replaced by elegant, gentle curls. At their shortest point - his face-framing pieces - stopped at his cheekbones and increased gradually until the curls at the back of his head reached the nape of his neck. And- oh fuck- it was much better than whatever image his brain could have ever conjured up.
"Up to your standards?" Caradoc mused.
"I am so glad I trusted you." Regulus whispered.
Caradoc laughed. "Yeah, that seems to be the general reaction. Now listen up while I tell you how to take care of them."
Phase two of his plan arrived in the mail three days later.
Regulus had been so excited, rushing down the stairs fast enough to nearly slip and whipping open the door before the delivery woman could knock.
But now, he sat on the floor of his room and stared at the unopened package and felt, strangely, consumed by terror. What if it wasn't what he thought? What if it didn't do what he hoped it would do for his mental health? What if it didn't do what it was meant to physically? During his research, the biggest cause for low reviews was the product simply didn't work.
It had taken hours of digging to find one that was safe and had all customers happy, but still. What if, what if, what if.
Don't be a fucking lizard.
Regulus shook off his anxiety and ripped open the package.
His hands trembled as he pulled the binder out then, as if some sort of barrier had been broken, Regulus couldn't change fast enough. In his frantic stripping, he tore the seams of his shirt but he could care less. He fumbled with the clasp of his bra and flung it across the room without a care for where it landed. Much more delicately, Regulus slipped the binder on and his torn shirt after.
Regulus did cry, then. Aside from his voice - though Regulus was fortunate to have a fairly low voice, by feminine standards anyway -, Regina Black was a crumble of dust at his feet, gone. She would never live again and Regulus could not be any happier.
He may not be a snake, he may not be a lion but he does know he sure as hell wasn't Regina Black.
Ring, ring.
"Hello, this is the administration desk of Hogwarts Secondary School. How can I help you?"
"I'd like to change the name of someone in your system."
"Ch-change the name of someone in the system? Do you mean you want to add someone-"
"No. I wish to change their name."
"Can I ask why?"
"It's not their name anymore."
"...alright, fine. Who? And what do you want to change it to?"
"Change Regina Black to Regulus Black."
Intelligent Fuckers(and Barty)
What are you assholes doing this afternoon?
Trash Panda: why the fuck is this still the group chat name
Dora the Explorer: nothin y do u ask reg
Dork: the last time you said that you were freaking the fuck out about the fact you couldnt find your converse
How the fuck was I supposed to know Barty hadn't stole them?
Trash Panda: hey!!!!
Ring Around the Rosier: by...looking? they were under your bed for god's sake, reg
Why would I have thought to check under my bed? My mother would've *killed* me if shoes had managed to get past the foyer.
Trash Panda: HELLO????? WHY IS NO ONE GETTING MY MESSAGES????
Dora the Explorer: we r
Dora the Explorer: we r just ignoring u
Trash Panda: WHY?????? WHAT DID I DO??????
Dork: what did you need reg
A new wardrobe.
Ring Around the Rosier: how are we supposed to help with that?
Dora the Explorer: by going w/ him obvs
Trash Panda sent a link to the song 'Sound of Silence' by Simon & Garfunkel.
Barty.
Trash Panda: yea
Shut the fuck up.
Trash Panda: 😭
Trash Panda: 😭
Trash Panda: 😭
Trash Panda: 😭
Trash Panda: 😭
Trash Panda: 😭
Trash Panda: 😭
Trash Panda: 😭
Trash Panda: 😭
STOP!
Dork: STOP
Ring Around the Rosier: stop for the love of god
Dora the Explorer: stop pls
Trash Panda: oh so NOW you pay attention to me
Attention whore.
Trash Panda: bitch
Useless son of an arsehole.
Trash Panda: human embodiment of depression
Daddy issues.
Trash Panda: mommy issues
Pourquoi je te parle.
Trash Panda: OI!!!!! Don't pull that croissant bullshit!!!!!
Trash Panda: I also have access to a translator so fuck you
You wish.
Ring Around the Rosier:you wouldn't be able to do it hard enough to please him
Dora the Explorer: 😳🤢🤮
Dork:yknow sometimes sharing isnt caring
Trash Panda: my house is empty
Trash Panda: get over here my rose
Ring Around the Rosier: omw
EVAN ROSIER DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE THAT FUCKING HOUSE!
Dora the Explorer: 2 late
Ring Around the Rosier: it is, indeed, too late
Fine but don't take to long at Barty's. We're going to the mall.
Dork: i dont remember agreeing to this
Don't act like you don't want the excuse to go.
Dork:1 i dont need an excuse id go anyway 2 im trying to avoid the mall im fucking broke
I'll pay.
Dork: ill be there
Dora the Explorer: me 2! ive barely seen u all summer
Ring Around the Rosier:Barty and I'll be there, we'll just be a bit later
Trash Panda: who said i was going?
Ring Around the Rosier: me
Trash Panda: going i will be
Ring Around the Rosier:that's what I thought
You two are disgusting. Stop it.
Trash Panda: no <3
Regulus sat on a bench within view of the mall's entrance and waited, thigh bouncing. He didn't usually care for other people's opinions but he'd be an idiot to say he didn't care about the opinions of these specific people.
It'd be alright, right? Of course it will. Regulus' friends have never been anything less than supportive. He came out, they responded with acceptance, they called him Reg when he asked(he had already picked out the name 'Regulus', then. He's had it picked out since he was eleven), they did everything they could to make him feel safe and included. Why would that change now that he's taken the steps to look how he feels on the inside? He did what they'd all hoped he'd have the courage to do eventually so why would they take it back? It didn't make sense. That just wasn't the people they were.
But, well, Regulus still had his worries. He still had his anxiety, his insecurities.
Don't be a lizard.
Regulus stayed where he was as he watched his friends slip into the mall one by one. First was Dorcas, who took a quick look around before going to sit at another bench, across the room from Regulus. She sent a quick text through the group chat and Regulus answered, making up some excuse about the bus driver being slow as fuck. He sat and he watched, waiting for the push he needed to get him out of his seat.
He watched Pandora come floating in next. She spotted Dorcas first and bounded over, braids swaying. She sat down on the bench and made quiet conversation.
Barty and Evan came in together, hand in hand. Barty's hair was ruffled and Evan had scratch marks on the back of his neck that quickly disappeared down the fabric of his shirt. Regulus tried very hard not to look into what that meant.
He watched as they created a small group and waited a bit longer, growing increasingly restless as the moments ticked by.
It was Pandora who called him when they had started to get worried.
"Reg?" She said through the phone. She had gotten up and started pacing a little bit. Regulus felt a twinge of guilt but shoved it back.
Don't be a lizard. Don't be a lizard. Don't be a stupid fucking lizard.
"Hey, Dora."
"Where are you? Are you alright?"
Don't be a lizard. Don't be a lizard. Don't be a lizard. Don't be a lizard. Don't be a lizard. Don't be a lizard. Don't be a lizard. Don't be a lizard-
"Dora, I've been here. Look around a little harder."
Instantly, Pandora whipped around, nearly smacking Barty with her braids. Regulus watched as her eyes tracked over every person in the near vicinity, calculating as she turned in a slow circle. She froze when the two of them locked gaze, her eyes growing comically wide.
"Is- is that-"
Regulus gave her a small smile and a little wave.
The line went dead against his ear as she sprinted across and tackled him into a bone crushing hug. Regulus chuckled as the two of them fell off the bench and tumbled to the floor.
"Hey, Dora." Regulus said again, amused.
Pandora leaned away, capturing his jaw in her hands and turning his head from side to side. "Oh my god! You look amazing!"
Dorcas, Barty and Evan trailed slower behind and once he was close enough to see the magnitude of the changes, Barry’s mouth dropped open. “Where’d your tits go?!”
Dorcas elbowed him sharply. “That’s your first thought?”
“I chopped them off and fed them to a stray dog.” Regulus said dryly.
A woman who looked to be in her thirties gaped at him as she passed, sending the group into laughter.
“Good on ya,” Evan said with a nod. “You’re looking hella fine.”
Barty hummed in agreement. “If I wasn’t already taken, I’d hit.”
Evan smirked. “As we’ve previously established-“
Pandora smacked him in the chest before he could finish. “So- is there a name change? Can we still call you Reg?”
Regulus’ lip twitched up, a giddy feeling rushing through his veins that he finally gets to say this. Well- he said it to the receptionist over the phone and to Caradoc but that hardly counts, he didn’t know them and they didn’t know him. His friends do. “Name change, yes, but Reg still works. My name is Regulus Arcturus Black.”
Pandora beamed, testing the name on her tongue. “Reg-u-lus. I like it, it suits you.”
Regulus hummed. “I think so, too.”
“So,” Barty drawled. “A new wardrobe you said?”
“Mhm. Where to first?”
“Bubble tea,” Dorcas said instantly and Pandora squealed in delight. “Drinks first, shopping second.”
“You could probably walk this place in your sleep so lead the way.”
“Fuck off.”
Shopping was perhaps the most chaotic experience Regulus has ever endured. He shouldn’t be surprised - he brought Barty along for fucks sake - but he didn’t think I’d be that chaotic.
First, they’d spent at least twenty minutes in the bubble tea shop because Pandora kept changing her mind, Dorcas had to be physically dragged past the shoe stores so she wouldn’t somehow manage to blow the Black fortune, Barty and Evan had spent a concerning amount of time in the back of Spencer’s, Evan had forced Reg to buy himself seven different band t-shirts(half of which he didn’t know and would have to listen to later so he wasn’t that person), Barty got himself permanently banned from La Vie en Rose(don’t ask why he was in there, Regulus still doesn’t know) and Regulus had cursed out men in three different languages for having literally no ass and, therefore, not being able to find proper men’s jeans in his size.
In the end, everything had been fine. Regulus spent roughly a grand on new clothing(he has no fucking idea where he’s gonna put all this shit but that’s an issue for later), Pandora ended up having both bubble teas she was stuck on thanks to theft of Barty’s drink, Dorcas did get a pair of shoes(blank white converse she planned to embroider), Barty wouldn’t be able to walk later, Evan was content on ‘educating’ Regulus on good music and Barty was still permanently banned from Le Vie en Rose.
Most important, Regulus, for the first time in a long time, felt truly happy.