Candy Store
Sirius had long since realized the difference between family and family. Your family - the ones you were born to, the ones who are responsible for your existence - they were stuck with you and you were stuck with them, not by choice but by blood. No matter how hard you tried, you could always be traced back to them. They were supposed to love you, to care for you, to raise you. They were supposed to do a lot of things but the unfortunate truth was that it wasn't always the case. There are a lot of things people are supposed to do but some just- don't.
Sirius had been stuck with a family like that. Walburga and Orion Black had never really cared for him. No, what they cared about was the heir he could be, the heir they wanted him to be. They wanted him to turn out like them- cold, driven, cruel. They wanted him to be the best, to have his name plastered all over the world. They wanted him to win Oscars, wanted him to work with great names only to out-shine them. They wanted him to take the Black fortune and multiply it, feed it as if it wasn't already far too much money anybody should have access to.
But Sirius hadn't been like that. In third grade, when Walburga and Orion relocated from Montréal to some weird ass town in Ontario(really, what kind of name was Godric's Hollow?), closer to Toronto, Sirius had met James Potter. Sirius had been- well, when they started at Hogsmeade, they had been a nobody. They were the new kid, sure, but everyone was only interested in them for about a day and then moved on to the next thing. Sirius had never been nobody. Even tucked away in their Montréal residence, they were never nobody. The concept of people simply not knowing who they were, or even who their parents were, was unimaginable. Maybe their teacher had known but Sirius doesn't really remember. What they did remember was how insignificant the concept of actors and directors was to a group eight-year-olds. Their accent probably didn't help. Sure, Sirius knew perfect English but, well, their accent didn't just vanish.
Sirius had been a new French kid that not everyone could understand, which drove most people away. But most people weren't James Potter and Peter Pettigrew.
Apparently, Peter had been the one to point Sirius out to James on her third day in Godric's Hollow. Ever so observant, Pete, but also always suspicious of anyone new. So, he had brought her up to James and James had been the one to approach her. That had been the day that helped shape Sirius into the person she was today.
Peter - quiet, mischievous, fucking smartand sometimes a little concerningly violent - and James - bright, loud, energetic and equally as mischievous - were the first people who helped Sirius re-define the word 'family'. James' easy acceptance and ability to match Sirius' enthusiasm and Peter's sharp eyes and endless heap of gossip were the first hints of warmth, trust and love Sirius had found outside of Reggie.
Their group didn't say like that forever. Slowly, more and more people wormed their way into Sirius' life and curled around their heart.
Marlene, a childhood friend of Peter and James. Apparently, their mothers were in a book club together and all lived on the same street. They'd been friends since diapers. Sirius had instantly got on with Marlene McKinnon. She was sharp, all dirt and mud and grass stains. She was loud, her cackles reaching the treetops everytime Peter, James or Sirius made a fool of themselves. She was so unapologetically herself and would fight anyone who tried to shove her into a little box. She scratched at everyone who suggested she be a bit 'girlier', who tried to take her shorts and force her into a skirt, who tried to do anything more with her hair besides a ponytail or the very occasional braid. Marlene hated the constraints of society, hated that everyone had to be a certain way to be deemed 'normal'. She hated that people expected her to change herself to be more likeable, to be able to get a husband(not that she was interested in one in the slightest) and have children and a house with a white picket fence.
Sirius had resonated with that deeply. She wasn't what Mother wanted, wasn't what society accepted. Marlene and Sirius bonded over that, chipped black nail polish and a fascination with electric guitar. In fact, when Sirius had found out she was genderfluid, Marlene had been the first person she came out to(aside from Reggie, of course).
Mary Macdonald came with Marlene as a package deal. The two of them had met in junior kindergarden and had instantly clicked. Mary was witty, brave and didn't take shit from anyone. In grade six, she was sent out of class more times than Sirius can remember for backtalking(in her defence, that asshole of a human being had had it out for her). Mary knew when to speak, when to stay quiet, when to intergect. She was either the brightest person in the room or a mere shadow on the wall. She knew everything and was the only person who could keep up with Peter on the gossip vine. At some point, Sirius had been convinced that they were in love with Mary. In seventh grade, the two of them had dated for the better part of three months before Mary broke up with them for a reason she wouldn't say at the time, only shaking her head and saying 'you'll get there eventually'.
(For the record, the reason was that Sirius was very much into men and yes, she did get there eventually, even if it took her another three years)
Lily Evans had pranced into Sirius' life in fourth grade. She had always been around, of course, but she mostly kept to herself and her two best friends(both of whom hated the other with their entire existence but had remained at least a little civil for Lily's sake). Though, when Mary had partnered with her for a health project, she and Lily had become friends. Through that, Lily had been dragged into their friend group, bringing her best friends along with her.
Severus Snape hadn't stayed around long. He hated them, they hated him. Simple. He hated James most of all, probably due to Severus'- or Snivellus, as Sirius had so brilliantly coined - unhealthy infatuation with Lily and James' massive crush that lasted six years. Severus had been paranoid that James was going to 'steal Lily from him'(he did, but that's besides the point. Lily was never Snape's in the first place) and had been a right asshole to James for it. Well, more of an asshole than normal. Snape wasn't nice to anyone. But, just before summer that year, Snape had called Lily a bitch in front of the entirety of their grade. It was safe to say they weren't friends anymore.
Lily's other best friend though had stayed and Sirius would forever be grateful for it. Remus Lupin, Lily's neighbour, was a bookish, intelligent, god of a man with a secret mischief streak and a bit of a temper. Sirius lived and breathed for Remus Lupin and would continue to do so for the rest of his life. His heart beat simply for him to see gentle amber eyes, messy brown curls, adorable fucking freckles Sirius just wanted to trace and scarred flesh from a secret no one got to know.
All of them - James, Peter, Marlene, Mary, Lily and Remus - had all helped Sirius re-write the definition of 'family' in their own personal dictionary. Family was more than just who you shared blood with. Family was more than your birth parents.
Family made you feel safe. Family was there when you sobbed in the hospital bed because you were forced to leave your brother behind. Family was there to hold your hand as you take the first steps towards recovery. Family was there to bear your weight when you didn't have the strength to hold yourself up. Family was there to share your burdens when your shoulders grew tired. Family was there, fueling the constant fire in your heart. Family was the reason you get up every day, the reason you push past your struggles, the reason you lend out your hand because of all the times they did so for you.
Sirius had spent the whole summer with her family and now they braved Hogwarts Secondary School for their fourth and final year before graduating.
"Ah, there it is. The constant smell of sweat, axe body spray and teenage depression," Peter said with a sigh. "Do you think we'll miss it?"
Mary snorted. "I, for one, will not. The moment I won't have to deal with this shit anymore, I'm throwing a party."
"Wishful thinking," Remus drawled, fingers tapping repetitivly on Sirius' chest where his arm was draped over his shoulder. "I don't think it'll ever go away. Just add all nighters and utter exhaustion into the mix and I bet that's the stench of college and uni."
"More sleep deprivation?" Sirius asked, tilting their head up to look Remus upside-down in the eyes. "I barely get three hours as it is!"
"That's because you get up at four AM to do your hair and spend all night watching dog TikToks that you don't go to sleep 'till one." Lily pointed out.
Sirius glared at her from across the little circle the group made under the half-dead tree in the Hogwarts courtyard. "My hair is very important, Evans, you simply cannot rush the process."
Remus sighed and ran a hand through Sirius' hair. She instantly let the topic go, relaxing back further into Remus' grip. "We know, my stars."
"Oi! Longbottom!" Marlene called, looking over Peter's shoulder and waving him over.
Frank smiled as he approached. "Hello, everyone. "
"You looked a little lost there," James observed. "Regretting your decision?"
Frank shrugged. "Not really."
"I can't believe you actually wanted to stay another year." Sirius said, wrinkling his nose.
Frank laughed. "Yeah, it may seem like that now. Give it a few months and you'll see."
"I know what you mean," James murmured, kicking at a rock in the ground. "I already don't want to leave."
"I wouldn't want to be left behind though," Peter said. "I'd rather go on to post-secondary education then be the only Grade 13."
"Eh. 'S'not like everyone went to the same school," Frank explained. "Hell, not even Gid and Fab stayed together. Alice went to the University of Toronto, King went to Western, Gid went to Laurentian in Sudbury and Fab is going only god knows what in the States. I still have no fucking idea what I want to do with my life so I stayed an extra year. Besides, I have superiority over everyone as the oldest student in the school."
Peter frowned. "Still gotta hurt, feeling behind."
Frank shrugged again. "Sometimes, yeah, but it's perfectly valid. It just takes longer for some people."
James shot the stone out of the ground with a particulairly hard kick. "Does everyone here know what they're doing?"
"Music." Marlene responded instantly.
"Literature." Remus said.
"Theatre and film." Sirius answered.
"Healthcare." Lily replied.
"Teaching." said Mary.
"Botany." Peter answered.
James swallowed. "Oh."
"What about you, Prongs?" Sirius asked.
James smiled and shrugged. "Not sure. Got a couple of ideas, though."
"What are they?" Lily inquired, knocking her shoulder with his.
"Tryna uncover my secrets, Evans?" James said teasingly.
Lily rolled her eyes. "Fine, be mysterious. We all know you're terrible at keeping secrets, you'll tell someone eventually."
James gasped. "I can too keep a secret!"
"I bet ten bucks on it being two weeks." Marlene said with a smirk.
"Really?" Mary scoffed. "You have that much faith in James? We're talking about the same person, right? A week, max."
Peter made a disapproving noise. "Oh come on, he has some restraint. A month."
"Three days." Sirius announced with confidence.
"Three days?!" James squawked.
"You tell me everything, Prongs! If you can keep a secret from everyone for a great period of time, it's because you got it out of your system by telling me!"
"He can do better than three days," Lily said with a roll of her eyes. "Three weeks is a more accurate guess."
"I say two months." Remus intergected before James could retort.
"Frank? What's your guess?" Marlene asked, waggling her eyebrows.
"Hm. A month and a half." Frank said.
Lily held out hands, a ten dollar bill already cradled between her palms. "Pay up, everyone."
"Are you actually doing this?!" James asked, voice high and waving his hands around rediculously.
Marlene narrowed her eyes. "Why do you get to keep the money?"
"Because she's the most responsible out of all of us." Mary replied, slapping a bill in Lily's hands.
"What about Moony?" Sirius said.
Lily scoffed. "Please, he's as bad as you three, if not worse. He'd probably spend it all on whatever prank you do next."
"Nuh uh!" Sirius said defensively. "We've already bought the supplies."
Remus' palm fell over Sirius' lips. "You heard nothing."
Sirius licked his hand, trying to free their mouth. Remus looked down, amused. "I've had that tongue in my mouth, my stars. That's not going to work."
Peter wrinkled his nose. "Get a room, Jesus."
"Um- Sirius?"
Remus let his hand fall away from Sirius' mouth as she turned to look at Marlene. "Yeah?"
Marlene nodded to somewhere across the courtyard. "Isn't that your..."
She trailed off and Sirius followed her gaze, tracing it all the way back to a group Sirius was very familiar with, even if he's never personally interacted with them.
There was Dorcas Meadowes, a girl in their year who had an eye for design. There was Evan Rosier, a guy a year below who could often be seen glaring at literally anyone who looks at his friend group wrong. There was Pandora Rosier, Evan's younger sister, who floated around Hogwarts without a care for the whispers that follow her around. There was Barty Crouch Jr., a chaotic, mess of a human being fascinated with the arts. And there was-
Sirius sucked in a breath as she spotted her sibling- her brother. Dressed in grey jeans, a Ghost t-shirt and a dark flannel as opposed to leggings Walburga surely put him in and the baggiest fucking sweater he could probably find. Hair cropped short, lips turned up more than Sirius had seen in a long fucking time, eyes without a hint of heat behind them. Reggie stood there and knocked shoulders with Barty, each hit growing harder until Barty fell to the ground. Sirius could hear Reggie's cackle as he ran circles around Evan, Pandora and Dorcas, staying just out of reach of Barty at all times, who had begun to chase him. Pandora giggled at every curse Barty sent Reggie's way and Dorcas and Evan both rolled their eyes in an exasperated manner.
A strange sense of pride swelled in Sirius' heart, emanating from the hole in which Reggie resides, a hole that Sirius typically ignores. It's been six years since Reggie told him that he wasn't a girl. It's been six years since Sirius told him that he wasn't entirely a boy, either. It had taken Sirius five years to show the world who he was. It's taken Reggie a year longer, but Sirius was so, so, proud that he had finally taken that step, to be the wrecking ball against the built up facade and step out of those ashes reborn.
Reggie had always reminded Sirius of a phoenix. Not in the sense that his tears healed open wounds and he died in a ball of fire every month(though, after he had hit puberty, he seemed like it), but more personality wise. See, phoenix's are strong. They're determined. They're passionate, resilient, compassionate. Sirius has never met anyone who's checked off those boxes better than Reggie. James may be passionate, but he's never seen Reggie around animals, who would refuse to kill even a bug that had infiltrated his room(expect mosquitos, Reggie hates mosquitos). Lily may be determined, but she's never witnessed a pissed-off Reggie, who would burn down the world if it so much as dared to stand in his way. Peter may be compassionate but life hasn't thrown him around as hard as it has to Reggie, who has danced with darkness. Mary may be resilient but she hasn't had to learn to pick up the pieces of herself before anyone even realizes they've shattered for fear of them being sanded down to the point where they won't fall into place anymore.
Regulus is a phoenix and Sirius is so proud that he's letting his flames burn.
But, Sirius feels like they shouldn't get to be proud. They weren't there, holding Reggie's hand as he took the first steps. They weren't there to share the burdens Reg must be quaking under. They weren't there to feed the fire in his heart. They weren't there to hold Reggie up when he buckled under the stress of coming out. They weren't there to hold him, protect him from the demons invading his mind and the ones he'd sure counter for being himself. Sirius wasn't there, because Sirius had left. They left, and they no longer held the title of older sibling, no longer held the title of family. They had left, Reg had stayed, their bond had broke and that was that.
Barty finally caught up to Reggie, trapping him in a head lock and messing up his hair. It wasn't until Reggie had bit his arm that he let go, abandoning Reg to hang himself off Evan, looking so ridiculously in love it made Sirius want to vomit because surely, she didn't look at Remus like that, did she?
Dorcas fussed over Reg's hair, brushing the strands back into place as he rolled his eyes. Over her shoulder, Reggie met Sirius' gaze. Even though it probably meant nothing, Sirius cracked a small smile and nodded his approval before turning back to the group.
"My brother," they announced, finishing Marlene's sentence. "My brother. Shall we go inside?"