Mary
You are not like the regulars
The masquerade revelers
Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten
Saturday, August 31st 1989
They had all sat there in utter silence until each one of their cups was emptied. No one dared look at each other, so they busied themselves with whatever they had: Remus played with his plate, Sirius with his glass and Mary with her nails. Thankfully, the music kept on playing, so they sat and listened to The Weird Sisters until the vinyl stopped turning.
"Let’s clean this up, shall we?" Mary said, getting up, when the final song ended.
Everyone jumped up immediately. They gathered the plates and dishes and took them all back to the kitchen, where they got to washing them. No one wanted to use magic: not only was there the risk of getting caught by Mrs. Moore or one of the guests, but they also welcomed the labour as a distraction. They took their time until the entire room sparkled.
It was only when they were done that Mary checked the clock. At least an hour must have passed since Lily and Harry had disappeared upstairs, so perhaps they would have settled down. She notified Marlene and went to Harry’s room.
Mary rested her head on the door before knocking. She could hear their voices, and thankfully they sounded amicable enough.
"Come in", Lily responded.
Mary opened the door to find the two of them running around an open trunk, tossing things inside it. The whole room was a mess — all of Harry’s belongings were spread on the floor, not a single surface intact. She sighed in relief. Whatever had happened, they had made up.
"Can I ask what’s going on?"
"Mum’s trying to convince me to take Mr. Snuffles to Hogwarts", Harry said, rolling his eyes.
Lily hugged the old faded teddy bear. "He’ll miss you!" she protested.
"It’s a toy, mum."
"He has feelings!"
"No, it doesn’t. Not unless it’s been possessed by the soul of some dark, evil wizard."
"In which case", Mary intervened, "it’s probably best not to take him along."
"Or, it’s best not to upset him", Lily replied, kissing the plush’s face. "Don’t worry, Mr. Snuffles, I’ll take care of you."
Harry ignored her, organising a pile of books instead. Lily smiled and came to Mary’s side as they watched him.
"Everything okay?" Mary asked quietly.
Lily nodded. "Yeah. Thanks."
"Do you need anything?"
Lily only shook her head slowly, still watching Harry. She smiled faintly. "No", she muttered. "I think all there’s left is to finish packing and rest. It’s been a long weekend and… tomorrow’s a big day."
Mary put an arm around Lily and rested her head on her shoulder. "Okay."
"Thank the boys for coming, but…" Lily sighed. "I think it’s time for them to go."
She squeezed her arm. "I’ll tell them."
"Thank you, Mary."
"Of course. Love you, babe."
Lily chuckled. "I love you."
"Good night, Harry", Mary said before leaving. She met the rest of the group back outside, where they sat and listened to the sea in the distance. James and Marlene both stared at their shoes, though at least Sirius and Remus looked cosy enough in each other’s arms.
She smiled before joining them. She wished it wouldn’t be so difficult — how could they all love each other so much and yet still end up with so much tension? For a moment, during dinner, she’d allowed herself to believe that maybe it would all finally work out: Remus and Sirius had finally made up, she and Marlene were still going as strong as ever, and Lily and James were still just as much in love as they had always been. But then it all crumbled in a few seconds, and Mary’s heart shattered once more. Perhaps she was due for another eleven years of long-distance friendship.
"Mary", James finally noticed her. "Are they okay?"
"Yeah", she said, going to Marlene’s side. "They’re good."
James nodded. "Good."
"It’s been… so wonderful to be back together again", she said, and she really meant it. "But it’s late. We’re catching the first train to King’s Cross tomorrow morning."
They took the hint, and the three men breathed deeply and got up.
"Of course."
"Write", she commanded. "All of you."
"Yeah, and invite us over to your fancy London flat, will you, Black?" Marlene shot at him.
Sirius grinned. "Okay. So long as Prongs gets us tickets for the season. We can host afterparties and invite some of his teammates."
"Careful", Remus grumbled.
"You know three’s not always a crowd", Sirius’ smile had turned playful. "And one of the beaters happens to be quite your type, Moony."
Remus still looked suspicious, but they laughed.
"Alright, let’s not get any more ideas", Mary said, hugging Marlene protectively.
"Don’t worry, I am not condoning any of this", James said, kissing them both goodbye.
"Hey, you know what", Sirius said. "Night is still young. How about we all hit a pub? I’m sure there must be some place downtown still open."
James tilted his head. "Yeah, I’d have a pint or two."
"Yeah, I’m not saying no to that, either", Remus said.
Mary and Marlene looked at each other.
"We’re good", Marlene answered for them. Mary felt a surge of affection for her. Lately, she couldn’t be bothered to go to bars or anything that was still open past eleven; she’d much rather stay in and read a book from the comfort of her bed.
"But we’ll see you soon, okay?" Mary added. "We usually do roast chicken on Sundays. Come by any time."
They said their final goodbyes and the boys finally left. As she watched their silhouettes slowly disappear in the darkness, Mary sighed. She loved them, she really did. But the last two days had been a weight she wasn’t very eager to put back on her back.
"Hey", Marlene called softly. "Do you wanna go upstairs?"
Mary snuggled up closer. "Not yet", she whispered.
They hugged, watching the night sky, the crashing of waves still roaring in their ears.
"Isn’t it funny", Marlene said, "how, out of our friend group, we’re the least problematic ones?"
She laughed. "Yeah. Who would’ve thought, huh?"
"Well, I certainly didn’t, we were the latest of bloomers."
Mary shook her head. It was weird to think back to when they were teenagers, back when they barely understood what love was. She and Marlene had had their own hardships, and they definitely took longer to get together than the other two couples, but she wouldn’t change any of it. Even through it all, Mary couldn’t remember a time when Marlene wasn’t her favourite person in the entire world.
"That’s probably why", she answered. "We were a lot more mature when we finally did start dating."
Marlene grinned. "True. We can always count on teenagers to ruin it all, can’t we?"
Their smiles faded at the same time as they both thought of the same thing. Harry’s sudden outburst had shocked them to their bones. They’d known the kid his entire life, and rarely did he ever throw tantrums or fits. Not that they could blame him, of course — after all, it was a situation none of them could even imagine being in.
Mary’s chest ached as she thought of Harry leaving on a train by himself, the next morning. She remembered feeling so scared herself, when she had been his age.
"How old do you think Madam Pomfrey is now?" she said.
Marlene frowned. "What?"
"She’s probably close to retiring, right?" Mary continued. "Maybe you could apply for her position!"
Marlene made a face. "Sure. I do love being around teens."
"The hours are a lot better than St. Mungus", Mary pointed out.
"Of course. If I didn’t mind actually living at my workplace", Marlene retorted.
"We could rent a place in Hogsmeade. Oh, and I could actually open a shop of my own, instead of only selling via owl post."
Marlene reached her hand, smiling kindly. "That would be lovely. But we could plan for that without me actually switching jobs."
Mary sighed, pulled back to reality. "I’m just going to miss him so much."
"I know. So am I. But we have to let him go."
"You’re right." She shook her head. She’d already gone through all of those emotions when Harry had gotten the Hogwarts letter; still, it had come sooner than she realised. "Besides, Lily is probably the one who is going to need us most."
Marlene stared at her for a while. "We’ll be here for her", she finally said. "But you know it’s not your responsibility to take care of everyone, right?"
Mary straightened up. "I know", she replied, noncommittal. "I just worry about her, that’s all."
She looked away. Marlene’s stare had turned studious, as it reminded her very faintly of how her mum would sometimes look at her as if she could see right through her.
"Don’t think I didn’t notice how burdened you were in the bonfire party", Marlene said. "You know that none of what happened was your fault, right?"
Her words hit Mary like a fist to her stomach. That had been exactly what had been bothering her the entire day, the one thought she couldn’t shake away. And the unfolding of their dinner, that night, had only felt like an extension of her failure.
"I had promised Lily I’d take care of all of it", she muttered.
"Oh, darling", Marlene came closer and kissed her softly on her head. "You did more than enough. We’re all adults here, Mary. The only actions we can be held accountable for are our own. What happened at the bonfire party, what happened at tonight’s dinner… none of that was your fault."
"Kinda feels like it is, somehow."
"Well, it’s not. James and Sirius conducted themselves poorly at the party, even after you specifically told them to behave. And Lily… I love her to death, I really do, but she is a grown woman, too. Some of this is simply the consequence to her own actions. And she is a lot tougher than we give her credit for. She’ll survive."
Mary only let Marlene’s words sink in. She knew she was right, but it was still hard to shake the burden of responsibility off of her. She had known it her entire life: first with her younger brothers, then with the girls at Hogwarts, and now with her ageing parents. It was always too easy to embrace it as part of herself, too.
"Okay?" Marlene insisted.
Mary finally nodded, very slowly. "Okay."
"Okay", Marlene repeated, getting up. "Let’s go back inside, shall we? It’s getting chilly out here."
They locked arms as they made their way back to the front door, warming each other up. Just as they had reached it, however, they noticed the turntable and all of Sirius’ vinyls were still on the corner stool.
Mary groaned. "Of course he forgot his stupid music."
Marlene was already going through the records. "Not that stupid, actually", she mumbled as she selected one and placed it on the table. A very familiar song soon started playing. Mary felt the hair on her arms lift one by one as she recognised the tune, the beat, the words — it was the song that had played on their very first date, in that cruddy café all those years ago.
Before she could protest, Marlene had already gotten her wand out and cast a silencing spell around them. Mary heard the music reverb ever so slightly as it echoed through their invisible bubble.
"May I have this dance, miss?" Marlene asked, offering her hand in a curtsy.
Mary obliged, already giggling.
They swayed graciously under the stars, holding each other close as midnight settled around them. Inside their little bubble, they danced and cradled, nestling in their tenderness. Outside, the Gentian Inn and its guests rested peacefully while the first breezes of September arrived with the promise of spring.