Whatever happens to us, will be.

At dinner the headmaster speaks for a while, updating us on stuffand then the food appears, we start catching up with Remus and he does seem to be healthier. “Guys, tonight we’re going to play truth or dare, but.. with a lil something more” i pull out the box and i open it a little bit and their eyes widen as i put the box away “is that veritaserum?!” james whisper-shouts I nod with excitementSirius is looking quite nervous “i mean are you sure we should use it? Isn’t it dangerous?” he said and Remus looked at him with a weird look “what, you scared?” He instantly shook his head and looked back at him with a challeng-y look “good, cause i’ve been stuck in that damn infermery for too damn long and I want to have fun with my best friends” he said laughing lightly and so did we. I finished my dinner quicky and told the boys i’d head up to the dormitory earlier and then i went directly to the bathroom to clean myself up and to have a hot shower too, just to feel a little bit better, which worked as alwasy, and then as I got ready for bed, Sirius got into the room while i was taking my trousers off. What a great timing. We both yelled and i basically threw at him my trousers because they were the thing i had in my hand and the shirt because it was the closest thing i had near me and the fucking bastard took them, and closed the door.

Now i was without pants and shirt and the door is locked.

From the outside.

Sometimes I wonder about my love choices and about how stupid they are.

I knock on the door “sirius, i need my stuff, can I have it back?” i can feel his smile in his tone “why?” “sirius for fuck’s sake, i need my clothes!” “okay fine fine, don’t get so heated huh?” he opens the door a tad and slides his hands through with my clothes and I took them but he grabbed my wrist and opened the door, then he pulled me close and our bodies were pressed onto eachother quite firmly and we just stared into eachother for a while. The tension was insane and my body was starting to heat up, i could see strings of emotions floating into the air, i could feel the sexual attraction too and it wasn’t only from me. I felt like i was holding my breath and he was staring right into my eyes, not budging. I sharply inhaled and trying to get some voice out of me, i whispered “what are you doing..?” he got closer and whispered into my ear “meet me in the broom closet and..maybe we can do something about that blushing of yours” and then he let go of my wrist and went back into the dayroom, closing the door behind him. I took my clothes and sat down. The ear he whispered in was super red and hot, and so was my body. The freckles were more visible going in contrast with the blushed skin and i was profoundly speechless. I couldn’t think and i was very very confused.. What were those mixed messages? Why did he pretend to not know what we did on the balcony and what the fucking hell was that he did just now! So many questions and not a single answer.

I get dressed and head down stairs, directly ignoring the invite at the famous kissing spot and find james and remus chatting in front at the fireplace and sirius wasn’t there. I shook it off and called my best friends to the room so we could start to play. James asked lily to come too which she gladly accepted, and invited over another friend of hers, Marlene. It was my first time actually knowing Marlene, but Lily told me that she’s very much like Sirius, so i’m sure we would get along. Us boys get in the room and we tidy up a bit before the girls arrive whilst listening to one of the discs that Remus brought as long as his vynil recorder, and we sat on my and remus’ bed. I placed my nightstand in the middle so i could put the box on and i took out of my trunk a shot glass. My dad sneaked it into my trunk before coming here to school he told me “for when you’ll have fun with your little friends and for when you want to drink alone” winking. I smile at the memory and then i explain the game, while organizing the components of the game “So you all know truth or dare, just this time, we have the temporary veritaserum. It won’t last as long as the normal one and i will keep a watch so no one will lie about the effect still being on. We all take a shot with bubble juice cause veritserum is really nasty and then we have a truth and a dare that we can skip. Also it’s basically two truths one dare. So, let’s begin.”

I sit and take my shot and my sip of bubblegum juice. Then i passed it to james and james passed it to lily, lily passed it to Marlene, marlene to remus and remus to sirius, who haded me the shot glass and the empty bottle of bubblejuice, that i put next to me. “Fine now we choose with the bubblegum bottle, we’ll let it spin and the person who lands on has to be dared or truthed, and the previous one shall dare or truth the chosen one. I’ll start first.” I let it spin and it lands on Lily “Lovely Lily, truth or dare?” “Truth” she says “Have you ever loved anyone apart from your friends and or your family?” “well, there is someone i like, but i feel like love is too much of a strong word to use in this situation” a little chorus of “uuh”-s was made and then she turns the bottle. It lands on sirius and we all snicker “truth or dare pretty boy” “dare” he says with a cocky smile “i dare to kiss the cute one that is next to you~” she dares and Sirius seems confused, then he turns to me and kisses me and i’m a bit shocked, but i kiss him back, calmly and he deepens the kiss, then he breaks away and kisses Remus, who is as shocked as I am. He finally stops and looks at marlene “you didn’t clarify which one ~” he said. My face is going on fire and Remus is really confused, but nevertheless Sirius spins the bottle and it lands on Remus who imediatly replies “truth” sirius sighs “is it true that you are a virgin?” “yes, it’s true, unfortunately” he said, a bit uncomfortable but he still turned the bottle that landed on james, who chose dare “i dare you to shut up for 10 minutes.” remus said and we all laughed “oh come on! You get kissed by sirius and i have to shut up? No fair!” he said while faking being upset “okay okay fine you big baby, I dare you to read into Marlene’s mind” and lily was a bit against the dare, and marlene too, so we skipped and it was someone else’s turn.

Marlene did turn the bottle and it landed on me and she smiled “truth or dare?” “truth” “there is a rumor going on about you being gay and in love with sirius. Is it true?” i instantly got pale “who’s saying that?” “basically everyone, but that doesn’t answer my question, are you gay and in love with sirius?” “I-I..” Sirius looked at me “what..? Are you?”my breath was cristallized into my lungs i couldn’t even think. “guys..” James tried to stop her but she silenced him “I...I am..it’s true” i said not louder than a whisper. Sirius got as white as casper the ghost and Remus was angry “Marlene. That is none of your fucking business. And Elias.. why the hell didn’t you tell us sooner?” “it’s not like i have to tell you every single thing bout me! Yes, I liked Sirius from the first moment i saw him four years ago walking down the stairs in the big hall!” I said trying to hold back the nervous tone because now i couldn’t even lie and i had nothing to lose. Sirius was shocked to his core “Elias.. I.. I didn’t know.. I-” “of course you didn’t know! You only care about yourself! Youre so selfish and sef centered, and you’re the worst! You didn’t know that i was dying behind every little sigh that i had daydreaming about you even having the remote possibility of noticing me!” I said. Now everything was coming out, including the tears i was so trying to hold back “And that fucking night. The night you tried to lie to me about forgetting because you were pissed drunk. I seriously thought of having a chance.” i said standing up and pacing in the room “what night?” Remus asked Sirius wasn’t even trying to defend himself. He was too ashamed to look anywhere besides his socks. “The night we won the quidditch cup. This asshole came to me to the balcony and basically pounced on me, and..and he kissed me! He didn’t only kiss me, he also took with him my fucking verginity. I thought he wasn’t going to be a fucking dick about it but what could i expect from you. You lied straight to my face and you hurt me once more. And-and just before now? What was that huh?! Are you going to tell me why the fuck you wanted me into the broom closet? Or- or why you pressed your body onto mine and stared into my eyes, whispered in my ear like that while holding my FUCKING CLOTHES?” I was getting angry now, my fists felt weirdly hot “WHAT?!” Remus shouted “Sirius what the FUCK are you doing? What game are you playing!” Sirius was now on the verge of his tears “What happened a whole year ago when I confessed to you and you kissed me on the astronomy tower!? Or when you asked me out to the fucking yule dance that is this year?” James was desperate Marlene was watching everything with a weird look, almost of amusement, Lily was trying to calm remus down but he kept interrupting her to argue with sirius I kept getting angrier and angrier not only because Sirius played with my feelings but also because he played with remus’ feelings too. My fists, clenched as my jaw but not in the normal way, they were as hot as a furnace, literally. I could have melted James stupid glasses by holding them in my hand. The heat was now starting to create little flames escaping from my hands.

I couldn’t think, it was like all the rage i had in me was building up and was about to explode. I could feel the attention on me Lily screaming, Marlene still silent and still with that look of amusement and James yelling trying to tell me to calm down and to get back in myself. I couldn’t understand what was going on , I felt so angry and so out of myself, like someone taking my place in my body. Chaos was swirling in the room, as the small fire that was starting to cover my hands. The temperature in that room was rising, the wood around me was strarting to get dark, they had no other option but to call a teacher but first they had to get out of the room James casted a water spell on me that disoriented me and made me regain conciousness for a split second, lowering the fire as i stumbled aside, they all rushed there to get out of the room and Sirius ran to call Professor McGonagall, that got there in split seconds “where is Azul?” she asked quickly “he’s.. he’s not himself professor.. he’s in pain..” James said shocked pacing in the dayroom. Meanwhile I realized that i hurt my friends because my emotions got in the way, and the pain got greater and greater, ending up with sitting on the floor while staring at my flaming hands, wailing in pain and the fire that I created was burning my hands, spreading upwards to my forearms. I remember Professor McGonagall barged in the room and casted a spell that i can’t remember because everything turned black when my head hit the floor.