a winterbluegreen star

The December moon was a tough one. Remus wondered vaguely if Snape had been right and the dosage was slightly off, but he thought it was mostly likely the worrying he'd been doing about Sirius. Since the Christmas presents, he'd been alternately obsessing over the risks Sirius was apparently taking in organising postage, and what his intentions might be. Surely, surely, a cursed broomstick wouldn't be his modus operandi, but then what would? Betraying all his friends and blasting an entire street to smithereens?

Minerva had taken the Firebolt initially, and Filius had checked it over too. Remus had also examined it but couldn't find any trace of dark magic. As far as he knew, was now wIth Rolanda undergoing a final work up.

Harry was, of course, thoroughly fed up about it, and it was the first thing he asked when he arrived for their first post-Christmas Patronus lesson.

'I think it's nearly ready Harry, as far as I know nothing unusual about it so far.'

'Oliver's on my back about the Ravenclaw match,' said Harry. 'I need to have it by then or we don't stand a chance.'

'Well, hopefully it'll be ready by then,' said Remus, gripping the lid of the packing case. 'Now, let's make sure you are ready too.

The lesson was good. Harry was now producing Patronuses regularly and without exhausting himself. They were still pretty much just clouds of vapour, but stronger and denser and sometimes they did sort of look like they might have edges. Remus was very pleased with the progress.

'This really is very impressive Harry. Have you been practising in between sessions?' Remus asked as he tapped the kettle and dug around in his desk drawers for mugs and chocolate.

'A bit,' Harry said vaguely.

'Are you feeling ok? The tea will be ready in a minute.'

‘What’s under a Dementor’s hood?’ Harry asked suddenly.

Remus paused, slightly taken aback. ‘Hmmm...' he said, 'well, the only people who really know are in no condition to tell us. You see, the Dementor only lowers its hood to use its last and worst weapon.’

‘What’s that?’ said Harry, reaching for the chocolate.

‘They call it the Dementors’ Kiss,’ Remus said, ‘It’s what Dementors do to those they wish to destroy utterly. I suppose there must be some kind of mouth under there, because they clamp their jaws upon the mouth of the victim and – and suck out his soul.’

Harry froze, the chunk of chocolate that had been halfway to his mouth, forgotten. 'What – they kill –?’

‘It's much worse than that, Harry. You don't die - you can exist without your soul, you know, as long as your brain and heart are still working. But you’ll have no sense of self any more, no memory, no … anything. There’s no chance at all of recovery. You’ll just – exist. As an empty shell. And your soul is gone forever … lost.’

Remus realised he was gripping the handle of the kettle very tightly, and turned his back to Harry as he released it, watching the blood flow back into pale fingers. He picked it up to fill the mugs and then said, almost involuntarily, ‘It’s the fate that awaits Sirius Black. The Ministry have given the Dementors permission to perform it if they find him.’

‘He deserves it,’ Harry said shortly.

Remus dropped the teaspoon he'd been using, it clattered against the table. ‘You think so?’ he said, trying to keep his voice light. He dipped a hand into his trouser pocket and ran his thumb over the stone he'd taken to carrying around with him. 'Do you really think anyone deserves that?’

‘Yes,’ said Harry defiantly. ‘For … for some things …'

Remus swallowed hard, and turned, mugs in hand to find Harry looking up at him, waiting for his reaction.

'So,' Remus said, sitting down and handing him a mug. 'What is it exactly that makes this broom so special?'

*

Harry had spoken so excitedly about the potential of the Firebolt, that by the Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw match, Remus was almost enthusiastic about attending. He hadn't even bothered with bringing a book this time, at the very least so that he could be on the alert for restless Dementors.

Gryffindor made a strong start and Remus suddenly found himself cheering as Katie Bell scored another goal. He looked around, a little embarrassed, to find that no one had noticed and that Minerva was actually standing on the bench, waving her scarf. Perhaps he didn't need to worry. His eyes found Harry, high above the other players, searching for the Snitch, he was drifting slowly, this way and that and then, suddenly he dived! The Gryffindor crowd roared and Remus found that he was up on a bench too, craning over the barrier to see where Harry had gone but - the crowd groaned - the Snitch had got away. Harry gradually returned to his vantage point, the Ravenclaw seeker on his tail, and then again suddenly, he dived. She followed, the crowds screaming, and he pulled up very suddenly, leaving her hurtling towards the grass.

'Blimey, he can fly,' Remus said aloud, to no one in particular.

Minerva turned and smiled smugly at him. 'Remind you of anyone?' she asked before the crowd's roars turned her back to the game.

Harry was diving again, this time at an incredible speed. He had seen the Snitch for real this time and the Ravenclaw seeker had too. They were racing each other towards it when - gasps from the crowd, students pointing from the stands - Remus looked away from Harry in the direction they were pointing, and there, in the centre of the pitch were three Dementors. Remus looked back at Harry in panic, but Harry had not hesitated, wand out, he sent something enormous careering towards them while he remained in pursuit of the Snitch and seconds later, Madam Hooch's whistle was echoing through the stands. Remus watched for a few seconds, as the huge white form galloped across the pitch and vanishing as it reached the other side. Well, of course, he thought to himself.

Remus made his way down the steps towards the pitch which was full of Gryffindors intent on congratulating the team. Off to one side, Minerva had collared the 'Dementors', somewhat traumatised by Harry's defensive measures and was giving them an almighty dressing down. Remus spotted Harry extracting himself gradually from the pile of his team mates.

'That was quite some Patronus,’ he said. 'Did you see the shape?'

'I wasn't looking,' said Harry, 'I just fired it off! It was incredible - the Dementors didn’t affect me at all! Why? Was it was recognisable? What was it?’

‘It was a stag,' said Remus, without further explanation, 'and - er - they didn't affect you because they weren’t Dementors.' He steered Harry around the crowd to the edge of the pitch.

They watched for a moment as Minerva continued her tirade, Harry's face was a picture. Perhaps a future Patronus memory, Remus thought, amused.

'Well,' said Remus, smiling, 'I'd better leave you to it - I expect you've got a party to get to.'

*

Supper that evening was a quiet affair, particularly at the Gryffindor table. As Remus finished his shepherd's pie, he imagined them all, up in the common room full of Butterbeer and snacks provided gladly by House Elves always eager to please. That was one thing he had enjoyed about Quidditch: the post-win parties were always good fun. James in an armchair in the middle of the room, enjoying the attention, he and Sirius secreted somewhere in a corner, sometimes arguing, often... not.

Back in his room, he showered and changed and settled himself into bed with a book. The January chill had gotten to him at the match and he was tired. He opened the book and started to read but very soon he was drifting off to sleep.

'Why are you hiding?'

Remus looked up to find Peter leaning over the record player, peering down to where he sat, on the floor, sorting through albums.

'I'm not hiding, I'm just making sure something is ready for when this one finishes.'

'You know there's a spell for that...'

Remus huffed slightly and turned back to the records, 'You know music and magic don't mix.'

Peter climbed round the speakers and squeezed in next to Remus, knees up to his chest. 'He's looking for you.'

Remus didn't look up, 'He looked pretty busy to me five minutes ago.'

'Want me to send him this way?'

'No.' Remus said it too quickly.

Peter smiled. 'I'll give him a hint,' he said, slipping back from behind the speakers.

'Moony?' Sirius' voice was getting closer. 'Moony? Are you down there? Remus?'

'Remus? Remus!'

Remus woke with a start. Someone was knocking loudly on his door. He glanced at the clock, it was a little after two in the morning. He sat up abruptly and the book he'd taken to bed with him slid off his chest and onto the floor with a thump.

'Remus!' The knocking was louder. He grabbed his dressing gown and stumbled over to the door.

'Poppy!' he said as he opened it, 'What's going on?'

'Its Sirius.' she said.

*

Half an hour later, Remus was back on the same second floor corridor as he had been at Halloween, opening and closing the same classroom doors. He had to admit, when Poppy had made the revelation, out of breath, at his door, he had thought Sirius might actually... Be here.

He chewed at his lip as he moved onto the next room. This time it sounded pretty bad: Sirius had apparently found his way up to Harry's dorm, armed with a knife, and that idiotic knight had let him in through the portrait hole. What was he doing though? He'd opened the curtains, seen it was Ron and made a run for it? Why? Why not just deal with him and move onto the next bed? Remus just couldn't work out what it was he was doing. It did sound pretty unhinged though.

It must be the tree, he thought. Either that or he's in the forest, but it's cold, even for a dog, even in a cave. He wondered how long it would be before Dumbledore summoned him again.

But the answer to that question did not become immediately clear. Remus spent the next week on the edge of his seat, sometimes quite literally at mealtimes, with Dumbledore sitting just a few seats away at the teachers' table. Perhaps he was doing it on purpose, to psych Remus out, he thought. But then what did Remus actually know that he didn't? Albus was aware of the passageway under the tree - he'd created it! Aside from the whole illegal animagus thing - obviously.

By Saturday morning he was almost ready to go down to Hogsmeade and just knock on the shack door, but the stream of students descending the front steps on their way to a lovely day out was enough to bring him to his senses. Instead he went back to his room, tried unsuccessfully to do some work, picked at some lunch in the hall and then found himself reluctantly participating in a game of staff room chess with Filius.

'Are you sure that's where you want to move to?' Filius said, not for the first time that game.

Remus paused, studying the board.

'To be perfectly honest, Filius, not really,' he said, 'chess isn't really my thing...'

'Talk about stating the obvious.' said a low voice from beside the fireplace.

'Have you got any advice to give, Severus?' Remus replied, without looking up.

'Rather a lot if you're asking, although I doubt you'd like hearing it.'

Remus rolled his eyes, 'I meant about the game-' he began, but was cut off by a fervent knocking at the staff room door.

'Professor Snape! Professor Snape! Are you there sir?'

Severus rose and stalked over to the door. It swung open to reveal a very filthy looking Draco Malfoy, mud was caked into his blonde hair, and the snow it had been mixed with had melted, creating great drips down his face. Severus stepped into the corridor and pulled the door to, Remus could only just catch snippets of the conversation: 'Hogsmeade... Harry Potter... Head appeared out of nowhere...'

A memory surfaced of James' head, floating in the middle of their dorm room one evening in first year. 'My dad gave it to me...'

'Surely not', he thought. He went to the door, but both Snape and Malfoy had vanished.

'It's your turn again, Remus', Filius said, and for want of a better idea, he sat back down.

Three moves later he had lost the game and was sitting anxiously at the board while Filius went through his various mistakes.

'It really is just a matter of practice,' he was saying, 'but I've got some excellent books I could lend you if you're interested,'

'Erm, yeah maybe-' Remus began, when suddenly the fire burned green and Severus' head appeared, flickering in the flames.

'Lupin!' he called sharply, 'A word in my office please.'

'Ah,' Remus said, nodding towards the fireplace, 'I'd better attend to that. Good game though Filius, a rematch sometime?' he smiled and walked across the room to dip his hand into the pot of powder on the mantle.

A few moments later, he found himself stepping out of the fireplace in Severus' office. He took in the scene - Harry, looking slightly sweaty and very panicked was standing at the desk, an array of belongings spread across it. Severus looked almost apoplectic with range.

'You called, Severus?’ he said, mildly.

‘I certainly did,’ said Snape, he brandished a large piece of parchment at him. ‘I have just asked Potter to empty his pockets. He was carrying this.’

Remus moved closer and took the parchment, reading the shining words and turning it slowly over in his hands. There was no way? Where had Harry got it? How long had this been floating around Hogwarts...

‘Well?’ Severus snapped at him, 'This parchment is plainly full of Dark Magic. This is supposed to be your area of expertise, Lupin. Where do you imagine Potter got such a thing?’

Remus looked up. Severus was almost purple. He glanced at Harry, and shook his head very very slightly. 'Oh I don't think so, Severus, it looks to me as though it is merely a piece of parchment which insults anybody who tries to read it. Probably a Zonko's product.'

'You think a joke-shop could supply him with such a thing? You don’t think it more likely that he got it directly from the manufacturers?’ Snape was looking at him, eyes hard.

Remus tried not to react. Did he remember? Sirius hadn't exactly been discreet with the nicknames. ‘You mean, from Mr Wormtail or one of these people?’ he said. ‘Harry, do you know any of these men?’

No,’ said Harry quickly.

‘You see, Severus?’ said Remus, turning back to Snape, trying to keep his voice light. 'Just a childish product from a joke shop-'

Just then, Ron burst into the office, panting and sweaty.

‘I – gave – Harry – that – stuff,’ he choked. ‘Bought – it – in Zonkos – ages – ago …’

If he hadn't been so unnerved he might have laughed. Severus' face was incredulous, Ron was now bent double, wheezing.

‘Well!’ he said, clapping his hands together. He tried to smile but suspected he might not have quite managed it. ‘That seems to clear that up! Severus, I’ll take this back, shall I?’ He folded the map and tucked it inside his robes. ‘Harry, Ron, come with me, I need a word about my vampire essay. Excuse us, Severus.’

He ushered the boys out in front of him, and closed the door. Harry started to say something, but he shook his head and nodded for them to keep going. 'My office,' he said. 'Both of you.'

They climbed the stairs in silence and Remus held the door of his office open as the boys filed in.

'Professor, I –’ Harry began.

Remus cut him off. ‘I happen to know that this map was confiscated by Mr Filch many years ago. Yes, I know it’s a map,’ he said.

Harry and Ron were looking at him in amazement.

'I don’t need to know the ins and outs of where you acquired it, but I am very disappointed that you did not have the presence of mind to hand it in, particularly given what happened the last time a student left information about the castle lying around.' He looked at them, they were looking at their shoes.

'And I am also disappointed that you would go against direct instructions given to you to protect you. No matter how invisible you might have been at the time.' Harry looked up at him then and Remus raised his eyebrows. 'I will need to keep the map, Harry,' he continued, 'and I'm telling you now that I don't want to have to confiscate anything else.'

Both Harry and Ron nodded in understanding.

'Don’t expect me to cover up for you again, Harry. I cannot make you take Sirius Black seriously. But I would have thought that what you have heard when the Dementors draw near you would have had more of an effect on you. Your parents gave their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them – gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks.’

Harry looked close to tears. Remus wanted to take it back, put his arms out and hug him. What a hypocrite he was. Instead, he dismissed them and sat down wearily at his desk, pulling the map from his robes.

He unfolded it carefully, it was worn at the creases, but still in good condition. He wondered how long it had spent in Filch's filing cabinet before re-emerging into the hands of mischief-makers.

He lifted his wand and tapped the parchment lightly, 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good.'

The map unfurled before him, ink running from his wand point out towards the edges. Sprawling corridors drawing themselves, staircases swinging back and forth, tiny footprints running.

'So, how far have you got with it?

Sirius was leaning over his shoulder, their cheeks almost touching.

'Well, I've got most of the East side done and all the lower floors. No towers yet though, and the live tracker still isn't completely working.'

'Hmm..' Sirius mused.

'I think it's a little bit the wand movement, a little bit the intent, but I haven't quite managed it yet. Close though - look.'

He tapped a completed section of the map and tiny footprints appeared, moving down the corridors and hovering in rooms. 'There's just a bit of a problem between floors, we seem to lose people sometimes.'

Sirius was watching the footprints, 'Want to take the cloak and do the North tower tonight? James has practice and Pete's running chess club so it'll be just us.' He looked up from the map, a hopeful expression on his face.

'Sure,' said Remus, hoping he sounded casual.

They'd spent many evenings like that, roaming the castle under the cloak. James and Peter had helped too, of course, but often it was just them, exploring every tower, every chamber, every broom cupboard... And then it had been finally finished, The Marauders Map, they had dubbed it, the greatest pranking tool Hogwarts had ever seen! Remus remembered being sorry the project was complete - wishing he'd dragged out those evenings of exploration just a little longer.

He watched Harry and Ron trail back up towards Gryffindor tower, Hermione joining them just outside the portrait hole, before they all climbed inside.