En Constante Evolution (Ever Changing)
Ceres jolts awake to loud cheering and a door slamming shut. It's safe to say she's less than pleased by this and she sits up with a scowl, flicking her curtains open and glaring down her nose at the Slytherins she shares a room with.
As soon as they see her they snap their mouths shut and scramble to grab their things, folding robes, shoving toothbrushes back in trunks and subtly (not really) filing out of the dorm as fast as possible. Ceres sighs once everyone's gone and falls back onto her bed with a groan.
"Fuck this." Ceres lifts her head to stare at Evaline Greengrass, a Slytherin girl who Ceres considers a friend of some sort. Evaline is tugging on her tie in front of the bathroom, face twisted up. "I can't- shit!"
Ceres sighs, realizes the door slamming was probably the bathroom rather than someone leaving and stands, striding to Evaline and turning the taller girl to face her.
"You have to twist it like so," Ceres' nimble fingers work their way around the tie, tugging it into a knot. "or you'll end up with it uneven." She smooths it down politely and turns back to the room, grabbing the first pair of robes out of her trunk and beginning to dress. "Honestly Evaline, by now you should know how to do your own tie, you are a third year after all."
Evaline blushes and turns her head away from Ceres, trying to be polite, and also a little embarrassed, she should know how to do her own tie after all.
"My Dad does it for me the day before I leave and most the time, I don't even wear it."
Evaline's family is a powerful, not nearly as powerful as the Blacks but a good ally all the same. Evaline herself is a messy creature, very smart with gardening but terrible at charms, which makes her not useful in the long run, but Ceres enjoys her company more than the others so she's a little selfish with Evaline. Ceres does her tie every time Evaline asks, and always talks to her when she's present, since it's important to keep the Greengrasses compliant with the Blacks, but Evaline isn't a threat so Ceres doesn't spend a lot of time with her.
"Well." Ceres slides her wand away and fixes her tie without looking, brushing past Evaline to the bathroom, wondering what to do with her hair today. "Whenever you need your tie done, I'm happy to offer my assistance."
She decides to just leave it down, running a brush through it and using some gel to meticulously shape her curls into acceptable ringlets. Evaline thanks her and wanders out to the common room, leaving Ceres to stare at herself in the mirror.
She tilts her head side to side and briefly entertains the thought of just cutting all her hair off, taking scissors to the thick black curls until they fell around her face like Sirius, she tilts her head to the right and smiles a little at the thought of dyeing her hair a bright pink. That would give her mother a heart attack for sure.
Ceres frowns at her reflection, slides on mascara and lip gloss, tosses her hair over her shoulder and walks into the Slytherin common room.
Everything in the dungeons is dark, not particularly gloomy, more like being under the cavers with a flashlight and a book than wandering the Forbidden Forrest with only a Lumos spell to guide you. Green and silver drape across every surface, entwined with the rich brown of wood and harsh black of tile. Nothing is cozy about the elegant furniture and the fireplace looks like something you'd sooner sit in than burn wood but a fire roars anyways. Stone walls echo students voices and Ceres narrows her vision down to Narcissa, Andromeda and Bellatrix Black.
She glides over to them and sets a hand on Andromedas arm, giving a light squeeze.
"Good morning, mon cousines." She smiles politely.
"Good morning, Ceres." Narcissa, the eldest daughter of the three, the most put together of them all, she's cunning, ambitious and she doesn't let thing slip as easily as the other two. Her strength lie in potions and Dark Art Defense. She's the most diplomatic, and Ceres has found herself trapped in a verbal chess game, calling a cat scratch more times than she can count with Narcissa. Cissa will probably be married off to Lucius Malfoy in two years when she graduates.
"Good morning, dear." Andromeda, Ceres' favorite, the middle child. Andromeda has a strong head on her shoulders and is very aware of the part everyone has to play, she keeps up appearances but is unapologetically herself at all times. She's only one year ahead of Ceres but she's always shared her notes and given her tips to pass her classes, not that she needs them but Ceres is happy for the information none the less. Andromeda is not a threat in the least and she will probably become a blood traitor later in life, which will be so disappointing but Ceres likes her anyways. Andromeda succeeds in gardening and has a thing going with Ted Tonks, a mudblood.
"Rise and sparkle!" Bellatrix flashes a sharp grin and gets pinched in the side by Narcissa.
"Say a normal good morning Bellatrix," Narcissa snarks sharply. "you are not some mudblooded weirdo and you will not act as such."
Bellatrix scowls but mutters out an appropriate good morning, Ceres smiles politely at her. Bellatrix has always been a strange child, she was born of Amortentia, so she struggles with the concept of empathy and it's likely her father will marry her off to an older man who will break her spirit. It hurts Ceres, to see someone so much like Sirius, such a wild and burning flame, be beat into submission by a sister who is supposed to nurture it. Bellatrix Black is the youngest child and therefore has no true use to the family, Uncle Cygnus had been trying very hard for a son yet after three attempts it was simply embarrassing to continue. She's someone Ceres would prefer to stay on the good side of though, just in case the old man she gets carted off to is useful in some way. Bellatrix is a year below Ceres and has an embarrassing crush on Rudolphus Lestrange.
Because of this, as they are all walking to breakfast, Ceres pulls Bellatrix to the side and whispers,
"I thought that was quite clever, Bella, not weird at all." Bellatrix beams at her and links their arms together, pulling rather roughly at Ceres bicep.
"I know it was. Narcissa has no eyes or ear for art, don't you think?" Ceres hums noncommittally in leu of a response, if she says yes then Bellatrix could tell Narcissa that Ceres thinks she's incompetent, if Ceres says no then Bellatrix will see it as taking Narcissas side.
Breakfast right after the holidays is slow, and tedious, and no one really speaks at the Slytherin table, everyone enjoying being back rather than diving into the world of power grabs and bald faced lies in the attempt to keep and maintain the status quo.
Two weeks into the term however, holds no such relief against the aimed attacks against the House of Black.
"Did you know little Sirius has a 56 overall score in potions?"
Ceres pauses in her scooping of eggs onto her plate, glancing at Bellatrix. The Black sisters have no heir to that portion of the family, Ceres has not only an heir, but a spare as well, and after the Gryffindor fiasco, which Ceres is still shakily smoothing over, there are cracks in the foundation she's built her family. Cracks Narcissa eyes and sends Bellatrix to stab, because if Sirius and Regulus are discredited or disowned, them being women doesn't matter as much as keeping the Black name alive.
"Of course," Ceres' tone drips with poshy politeness as internally she's screaming, crying and cursing Sirius for not coming to her the second his grades slipped. "Do you believe me to be out of touch with him, Bella? I assure you I'm handling it."
Bellatrix opens her mouth to speak and Ceres turns to Rudolphus with the flirtiest smile she can muster, blinking up at him through her lashes and touching his arm. He looks down at her and grins back, glancing her over in a not-so-subtle way, making Ceres' skin crawl. Disgusting man.
"Rodolphus," Ceres drawls, running fingers over his arm and leaning closer, sensing Bellatrix tense and glare "be a dear and pass me the bacon?"
She pulls away as he does and glances at Bellatrix with a raised eyebrow, a silent challenge of are you done?
Bellatrix stabs at a pancake and drops her gaze, satisfying Ceres for the time being as she meets Narcissas assessing blue gaze, holding eye contact. Something passes between the two, a silent acknowledgement of how quickly they could ruin each other, and then both decide to stay silent.
Ceres finds Sirius later, by the lake during a free period and she marches up to him, not caring that he's with his friends, her lips tip up as she entertains the thought of calling him out in front of his little Marauders, but she knows she couldn't ever make a scene like that, lest it gets back to their parents.
"Sirius." She relishes instead in the way his head shoots out of the tall boys laps and he scrambles to his feet. Only the two boys from the train are her and she wonders where the shy one went.
"Ceres!" He grins nervously and shifts his feet.
Ceres turns her eyes to the boy on the ground, lanky and tan, with small scars glittering on his hands, she recognized Potter, he's a pureblood so he's fine. Ceres wrinkles her nose gently, purposely, if she doesn't know him then he must be a muggleborn, and they are not good company to keep. Before she can speak though, Sirius is pulling her off to the side and asking her what's going on.
"You're failing potions?" She hisses at him, leaning closer so they aren't overheard, his face goes pale and then bright red. "Why didn't come to me the moment you started getting confused?"
"Because! Remus is helping me-" Sirius shudders, relents "Well he's trying to, he says I'm impossible to keep focused, but he's lending me his notes and explaining some things and I haven't blown anything up since last week!"
Ceres stares at him for a long couple of seconds, Remus must be the mudblood then, and she takes a few moments to remember the other ones name, something to do with kitchenware she thinks. Panner maybe?
"Sirius, if Mother gets a letter from your professor that you've blown anything up or that you've started failing a class I won't be able to do anything to shield you short of throwing myself over your body." She thinks for a moment. "Which I would do, but I'd rather not. Let me tutor you in our free time. It will give me a chance to spend time with you, I've been looking for an excuse lately anyways."
Sirius tilts his head at her with a soft smile. "You don't need an excuse, Cer, me and my friends are happy to hang out with you."
Ceres scrunches her nose. "I'm not going to hang around the mudblood Sirius- and honestly you shouldn't either."
Sirius shrugs, "The mudblood is Remus, and he's actually pretty good at most things, he gets top marks and everything. I get it though- not all mudbloods are cool like Remus, and I don't make a habit of befriending them. Remus is just special, that's all."
Ceres glances to the Remus boy and sizes him up, he has reading glasses on and is looking down at a book, it looks like a muggle book though.
"Alright," Ceres says, not wanting to tear apart her brothers friendships- she's spoken to a few muggleborns that weren't horrible so she understands the though process. "It's Friday today, so I'll allow you the rest of your afternoon with your friends, but you'll meet me after breakfast tomorrow morning in the library."
Sirius blinks at her. "But tomorrow's Hogsmead stuff."
"You should have thought about that before you decided not to tell me you were struggling with potions. Tomorrow. If you don't show up I will write to Mother myself." It's an empty threat, they both know it, just like they both know Sirius will show up but he'll be late and pissy about it.
Ceres takes a step back, ready to walk away, but she hesitates and reaches out to pull Sirius into a hug, it's strange, now that he's grown so much. He'll be taller than her soon and every time she thinks about that she feels a lump in her throat.
"I love you Sirius." She says around the lump. "I want you to come to me if you're struggling, let me help you. I will always help you if you need it."
He wraps his arms around her and squeezes her tight for a few seconds before pulling away.
"I know, Cer." He says, smiling sadly. "I will, I just wanted you to focus on yourself, you've been kind of..." Sirius shakes his head and kisses her cheek. "I love you too, and I'll see you tomorrow!"
He bounds back to his friends and Ceres sighs, reprimanding herself for not being better about concealing her feelings in front of her brother. Tensions are rising, Walburga and Orion keep muttering about the comeuppance of a Dark Lord and Uncle Cygnus is fighting tooth and nail to get Sirius and Andromeda married, trying to lap up Walburgas success like a dog who haven't seen water in days. Uncle Alphard has gone missing, which isn't too unusual but this time he hasn't taken anything with him and hasn't accessed the family accounts since two weeks before he left, and it's putting everyone on edge.
Since the recent rise of this Dark Lord, Walburga has been breathing down Ceres' neck, forcing her to run like crazy, tasking her with finding weaknesses for all the pureblooded families, some are obvious. Frank Longbottom is in love with Alice Fortescue, and they don't have as much money as the Blacks. The Weasley's are useless, absolutely useless, they have very little money and very little influence so no one is worried about them. The Prewett's are a minor concern, they've got more pull in the wizarding world but Ceres has a scandal involving the Prewett twins that could tear them down at a moments notice. The Avery's have always been quick to roll over and serve whoever has the most power and right now, that's the House of Black so everything is fine, Ceres knowing that Avery Sr. is embezzling funds from the Ministry is just insurance. Crouch's son won't be at Hogwarts until next year and Ceres is hoping Regulus will be her eyes and ears when it comes to him. Nott, Olivander, and Shacklebolt all have little to no relevance and aren't worth the effort it would take to get them on the right side. Corban Yaxley is a coward of a man but that can be useful to Ceres, all it took was one lightly aimed threat at his mother and he was crumbling to his knees for her. Malfoy had a thing for Narcissa, which was good overall but absolutely horrible in the long run. If the Malfoys and the other side of the Black family team up before Sirius can inherit the Blacks throne then they'll be lambs to slaughter one by one. The Lestrange brothers were a conundrum Ceres couldn't figure out, Rabastan seems to be a little shit, but Rudolphus seems to be on their side, Ceres is sure they'll be with the House of Black by the end of their time at Hogwarts.
The Rosiers were... unexpected. Twins were already rare enough in pureblooded families, but for both of them to be albino as well? That first night Evan had sat next to her, gave her a once over, told her he was interested in being her friend if she would stay out of the drama of the houses and then promptly tuned her out the rest of dinner. Ceres knew nothing about the sister, wasn't even paying attention when they called her name and so she was completely in the dark.
Ceres vows to be more careful around Sirius, to not let him overhear any conversations with Walburga. She doesn't want him dragged into this elaborate chess game and even more doesn't want him involved with anything Dark Lord.
She vows to keep Regulus out of it too, he's always been too soft for things like this, he gets too attached too easily. She's sure he's going to be good at manipulating a situation or a conversation, but he's never going to follow through on the threats that count- which means Ceres will for him, because nothing in this world matters more to her than her brothers protection.
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The stress of managing so many relationships and forming so many allegiances, adding Sirius' tutoring- that child will not sit still- and his mudblood friend, had her inner monologue a steady stream of panicked screaming and alarm bells. So, two weeks before the winter holidays she sat in the astronomy tower, buried her head in her knees and let herself fall apart into gut wrenching sobs and shaking hands.
She didn't know how long she sat on the cold floor, with the light of the nearly full moon bathing her in silvery light she refused to look at, but it was long enough for her fingers to get cold and a Hufflepuff to wander into the astronomy tower and pause, staring at her with wide, knowing eyes.
She quickly straightened, not wiping off her face, he'd already seen- no use to drawn attention to it, and forced a scowl onto her face. The Hufflepuff was tall and thin, with mismatched eyes, his nails were colored purple and red and so were the tips of his hair.
"Don't you scowl little planet." He murmurs and crouches in front of her, making her eyebrows draw together in confusion. "So you're who needs me right now." His voice is like velvet, and the way he's poised in front of her makes her relax, he looks like he'd sooner hug her than strike her.
"I don't need you." She protests anyways. "I don't even know you."
The boy hums and pats her knee, sitting croos legged in front of her before reaching out and cupping her face in both his hands, she moves to wrench away but stops when he just wipes the tear tracks off her face.
"I hate itchy faces," He says. "They make me so sad." He drops her face once he's done but grabs her hands instead. "You need to let your face be itchy sometimes- but not too much or you'll scare them."
Ceres blinks at him, momentarily confused enough to lose all manners. "What did you just say?"
The Hufflepuff groans and rolls his eyes like Ceres is the one who doesn't make any sense. "You have to let them see you, Ceres, or they won't know your flame is dying."
Ceres sits silent after that, head reeling. Let who see her? She lets bloody everyone look at her, let's everyone stare and gawk and whisper. What does he mean her flame is dying? Who the hell is this guy? So many questions flying through her head like crazy, this is by far the most bizarre conversation she's ever had.
"I-" Ceres starts, closes her mouth, rethinks and spits out "Who are you?"
The boy blinks in surprise, but not like he's surprised at her outburst, more so that she doesn't know him. "Oh, do you come later then? That's alright. My name is Xenophilius and we are going to need each other on this path. I've seen it."
Ceres doesn't know what to say anymore, is he a Seer? But she'd know if a Seer went to Hogwarts, the whole bloody school would know. He seems to take her silence for acceptance and beams at her brightly, kisses her fingers and stands, patting her head.
"There, there my little planet," He sooths. "It's not our time yet, I'll find you when it is." And then he's gone, sliding down the banister on the stairs, leaving Ceres to the cold like he was never here to begin with.
For some reason Ceres feels lighter, and she attributes it to being so confused her mental breakdown decided to take the back burner for a bit.
She walks through the next two weeks so light that when she goes back to the astronomy tower the last day before break, hoping Xenophilius might be there to give her some answers, but knowing deep in her heart that any answers he would give her wouldn't even make sense.
It's a different blond that sits at the top of the tower, one with piercing blue eyes that look almost purple, white eyelashes that brush round cheeks and a whimsical stance about her.
"Oh." Ceres says, and the internal screaming continues, the Rosier sister blinks back at her and tilts her head, looking her up and down. "My apologies, I wasn't aware someone was already here." She smiles politely and the girl flinches.
"Don't smile at me unless you mean it, please." Her voice is airy, just this side of whimsical and she flashes a brilliant grin at Ceres, who is, admittedly blinded for a moment.
"I... yes, of course, my apologies."
The whisp of a woman moved closer, and for the second time in her life Ceres felt unsure of where she stood, as though she was three steps behind, rather than three ahead.
First, it had been Xenaphilius with his cryptic comments and gentle touch.
Now-
"I think our souls are tied to each other." Rosier says, twisting one of her locs around her pale finger. "I feel this pull to you- like you're calling out my name, I could probably ignore it but when my soul tells me something I always listen- are you good at listening Ceres Black?"
Ceres felt frozen, not quite from fear but from shock, no one outside of her immediate family has ever spoken to her like this, with familiarity, an open kind of trust. She couldn't find her footing because the woman in front of her was quicksand, there was no way to gain her balance or stand taller, she was sinking into Rosiers hands, and she was so beautiful in the moonlight, staring at her with almost purple eyes that Ceres almost didn't care.
"Um," Ceres wets her lips and glances to the stars. "I like to think so, yes."
Rosier shakes her head. "I don't mean listening to people, I meant listening to yourself." She pauses, hums and smiles. "Which you are not."
Ceres flinches and pulls on an annoyed face to conceal her panic, she's always hated people being able to read through her mask like its transparent. Hated being laid bare in front of someone, on your knees begging to be understood and only receiving the sharp sting of rejection.
"That's terribly rude." Ceres squeaks as Rosier moves even closer, hovering right in front of her.
"It's just the truth." She smiles softly. "No need to be so tense, my names Pandora, you're Ceres yes? Xenophilius is quite smitten with you."
Ceres blushes red to her ears, which is a new feeling, no one has caught her so off guard since Regulus called him Momma when he was three.
"Not romantically of course, that's my job, but he's positive you're going to need a good support system when it's all over. What it is I couldn't tell you but he sees much more than I do, much more than anyone, he sees people right down to their souls." Pandora pats Ceres shoulder and hums. "Alright well I'm off, but I'll be seeing you much more now that we're friends. Goodbye Ceres."
She bounces off down the stairs, leaving Ceres to gape after a cryptic blonde for the second time in as many weeks and wonder what the hell all that was about. She doesn't even have time to dwell on the fact that she didn't tell either of them her name because she's blushing violently over the realization that Pandora intends to be romantically involved with her.
Ceres' mind races, how does that even work? With two women? Can a marriage even be arranged that way? How would they produce a pure heir? Her mind conjures a picture of purple eyes and pale skin, pink lips roaming her body and slim fingers gripping black curls before she wrenches her mind away and covers her mouth in shock.
She's never felt this way, or thought this way about a man before, never about anyone before. She doesn't know what Pandoras done to her, or what Xenophilius has convinced her of, but one thing of which she's absolutely positive: her life just got so much messier.