Le Soliel (The Sun)
Honestly the staring can't be helped.
Lily Evans is just so pretty, and James wants to play connect the dots on her cheeks. She's got flaming red hair that's always a little messy, and sharp green eyes. Freckles dance across her slim nose and her thin, soft lips are always turned downward when she sees him. Chasing her smile is James' greatest challenge, but he loves a challenge, and he loves to chase.
"Stop staring at me, Potter." She says, scrunching her nose up and turning her head away from him. "You look like a drooling dog."
She's so pretty when she's mean, James thinks, then wonders what went wrong with him to think that.
"But you're so beautiful," James starts with a grin, sliding her the last ingredient to the potion they're making under the sharp eyes of their professor.
Lily scoffs and starts crushing the leaves in the bowl, James' eyes stray to Sirius, who looks totally lost as Remus talks to him and basically does the whole potion himself. Sirius had been getting help from his sister before the winter holidays and neither of them have had time the last two weeks to pick it back up again.
James shivers, Sirius' older sister scares the shit out of him and he doesn't want to think about her.
His cauldron makes a pop, which startles James out of his head and forces him to turn back to stirring dutifully.
"You're absolutely useless." Lily sneers and James just grins wider. It feels like a game, to him, like he's a bird in a cage and Lily is the cat sticking her paw through the bars. He wonders what it'll feel like when she catches him, hopes she doesn't get bored before taking a bite.
"I'm plenty useful! You couldn't stir and crush at the same time." He protests.
"You're hardly stirring." Lily points out and raises an eyebrow.
James stirs harder and leans against the pot.
"So, Lily-"
"No."
"You didn't even let me finish-"
"I don't need to, I don't want to talk to you."
James huffs. "I don't even know what I did for you to hate me so much."
Lily eyes him up and own, lips pursed before sighing in exasperation.
"Look," She says, adding the leaves. "I don't hate you, James, I just think you jump into things too fast. You don't think- and you're wildly impulsive. The first thing you ever said to me was a pick up line and we're eleven." She gives him a harsh glare when he opens his mouth to defend himself so he lets his jaw snap closed. "I know I'm pretty and for some reason you like it when I'm mean to you but I'm not going to date you. I'm not going to date anyone until I'm in my third year at least okay?"
James blinks at her, then lets a wide grin split his face.
"So I just gotta wait til third year huh?"
Lily sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. "That's not what I was saying James."
"Uh-huh. We can be friends though right? I think you and Remus would get along great, honestly."
Lily stares at him some more, and James hopes to god she takes his offer, he knows if he doesn't get to talk to her at least sometimes before third year that she's never going to date him and he's positive they're meant to be together.
"Fine." She hold up a hand. "But, I have conditions."
James nods, very seriously.
She purses her lips again and rolls her eyes. "No more flirting. You're terrible at it."
James gasps in mock offence. "I am not! You just don't set me up very well-"
"James."
He rolls his eyes but grins and holds out his hand to shake.
"Alright alright, no flirting, is that a deal?"
Lily reaches out to shake his hand. "And you introduce me to Sirius' sister, she's some kind of potions legend around here."
James sighs and shakes her hand. "You'd think that would make Sirius better- I'll see what I can do."
Lily grins and opens her mouth to say something but there's a loud boom sound and then Sirius is shrieking like a girl.
James whips his head around to look at what happened, finding Remus covered from head to toe in a purple liquid, eyes closed and lips pursed, shoulders tense with thinly concealed annoyance. Sirius is curled up on the stool next to him, peeking out of his hands and shoulders shaking with laugher.
"Merlin- Remus, I'm sorry!" He chokes out and lowers his hands, laughter obviously dying down. "I didn't know it was gonna do that."
Remus sighs and rubs both hands over his face as the professor walks over to talk to them.
"Yeah, I really don't know how someone can be so bad at just throwing stuff in a pot." James muses, watching as Sirius waves his wand, casting a simple cleaning spell on Remus, who thanks him politely.
"At least his sister's quite good, I wanted to ask her about the end of term essay, since it's getting close and she's already taken the class."
James hums and shrugs his shoulder half heartedly. "I can probably get you two in the same room and introduce you but she's kinda mean."
Lily laughs. "I thought you liked mean people."
"Not her kind of mean, you just throw insults which are more funny than hurtful," James shudders. "Ceres like actually looks for what makes you upset and actively does it, I think. Maybe just to me since I'm not her friend but still..."
Lily hums, and seems to think about it. James hasn't had a lot of interactions with Ceres Black, but the day back from break, she had pulled him to the side to talk privately, she made his head spin, every word out of her mouth felt like a carefully concealed threat, and every twitch in her face felt like a stab to the gut. The actual conversation was really just about making sure Sirius is studying properly before bed, but James left feeling lightheaded and concerned for his safety.
After that incident in potions, James notices Sirius has started up tutoring again and follows him to the library one day, needing to get some studying of his own done and Remus is in the hospital wing, he comes down with some kind of sickness at least once a month, the poor guy.
He spots Lily talking to a skinny guy with greasy hair and sharp features, remembers their deal and tells Sirius to wait for him for just a second before bounding over and grinning at Lily.
"Hey Lily," James says. "I just wanted to let you know that me and Sirius are about to go have a little study session in the library with his sister- if you wanted to come meet her."
Lily visibly brightens and starts to nod before glancing at the other boy, whose face is upturned into a nasty scowl.
James notes the hesitation and glances at the boy. "Oh sorry! I'm James, I didn't mean to interrupt." He holds his hand out to the Slytherin, who looks at it like it's offended him somehow, and does not take James' hand.
"Severus Snape. And you were interrupting. You can go now, Lily won't be joining you." The greasy boy turns on his heel and starts to walk away, leaving James to gape at his back.
"Sorry about him," Lily sighs and rubs her forehead. "He's just... he's not very good at making friends- I'll come next time okay? Thanks for inviting me!" She smiles at him and trails after Snape.
James stares for a little longer before moving back to Sirius.
"Who was that?" He asks, opening the library doors.
"Some guy named Snape," James huffs, trailing after the shorter boy. "He was a right areshole though."
Sirius grins. "Someone should hex his greasy hair to stand on end."
James laughs loudly and Madam Pince sends him a harsh enough glare for it to die in his throat.
Surprisingly, Ceres is a good tutor and even helps James with his work, instead of leaving him to fend for himself. James watches as she visibly softens all her hard edges around Sirius, when they walked in she seemed as cold and untouchable as a statue, but after an hour of Sirius cracking jokes and Ceres explaining the importance between stirring three times or four, she just seems like a sister who loves her brother.
"Do you know any potions to make someone's hair float?" Sirius asks innocently.
Ceres eyes him, but he keeps those big eyes on her and doesn't flinch. Ceres purses her lips and leans back a little.
"No," She says. "But there are charms that do that."
"Will you teach me one?"
Her eyes narrow and she leans forward, James is already sweating and that look isn't even on him, he glances at Sirius who's the picture of calm and relaxed.
"Why do you want to know one Sirius?"
"Just cus."
"If you don't tell me I won't teach it to you." She says, closing her book.
"So if I tell you, you'll teach me?"
This puts a stop to both their movements, Sirius holds eye contact with Ceres and James silently wonders how he manages to do that without crying or breaking down, he feels like a mother watching his child wade into war.
The staring match lasts about thirty seconds, and James has no idea who's winning, until Ceres sighs and tilts her head up, shaking it side to side as if to say 'why me?'
"Fine. Yes." She says, glancing at James.
"Some guy was an arsehole to James, we just wanna pull a harmless little prank is all." Sirius blinks at her, James watches as her eye twitches and that sharp gaze is back on him, burning with fury.
"Woah, woah, woah, woah," He says, holding both his hands up, palms out and pulsing with each woah. "I did not say we should actually do it- I just thought it was a funny idea."
Sirius pouts and grabs Ceres hand, which seems to soften her again, and when he turns big eyes at her, lips still pressed into a pout, James watches her resolve break like throwing a snowball at a wall.
"Please Ceres!" Sirius whines.
Ceres ends up, begrudgingly, teaching them the spell and Sirius has it perfected by the time they leave the library.
Four days later is when they strike, they don't just hex Snape though, that would be suspicious, so they hex half the Slytherin table. Evan Rosier falls backwards out of his seat laughing at the expression on Narcissa blacks face as her blonde hair floats around her head, Bellatrix jumps up and starts trying to swat at her sisters hair like a cat. Snape's face goes beat red and he tries to tame the locks down, getting redder every time they pop back up into the air. Some Slytherins think its funny, some are angry and demanding the culprit show themselves. As previously agreed, Ceres Blacks hair stays down in gentle waves against her back as a thank you for teaching them the charm, and she catches James' eyes, a tiny mischievous tilt to her lips.
James and Sirius are the first of the other houses to start laughing, but it causes a domino effect and soon every house in the Great Hall is laughing at the Slytherins, most of which are proper embarrassed, but none leave, that stubborn Slytherin pride keeping them seated as the other houses laugh.
At some point, a handful of mashed potatoes gets thrown at the roaring Gryffindor table. James heavily suspects the Rosier boy as the culprit, but chokes out a gasping laugh at Alices face, covered in potato and absolutely fuming.
This, of course, starts an all out food war that ends with bright grins and Mr. Filches unnaturally loud screeching.
James and Sirius grin the way to the showers, and the whole way back, already talking about the next great prank they could do.
-----------------------------------------------------
Getting ready for final exams was absolute chaos. The seventh year Gryffindors were scrambling around as it drew closer to one month left of school, getting letters of recommendation written, studying their arses off for the NEWTS coming up. Fifth year students can be seen in large groups, houses mingling and setting aside differences to study together for the OWLs, everyone just hoping to pass.
Frank and Alice, who are usually very fun and just as loud as the Marauders, have banished them to the lake this Saturday. He pushed all four of them out of the common rooms, told them to go skip some rocks or something and come back after dinner, then slammed the painting in their faces. James and Sirius cackled, had to hold on to each other or they'd fall, Remus and Peter seemed genuinely annoyed but trailed after the more boisterous of the four, a little further behind and out of earshot. Which was lucky, considering the first thing Sirius said would have got him punched in the face.
"Frank said to skip rocks?" Sirius asks with a head tilt. "Is that a mudblood thing?"
James' head whips around to stare at his friend with a gaping mouth, thinking for a second there's no way he just heard Sirius say that. Trying to convince himself that Sirius, who lays in Remus' lap and plays with his hair did not just use the nastiest slur in the wizarding world.
"What- why are you staring at me? Is it not a mudblood thing? Should I have known it was a mudbloo-"
"Stop saying it!!" James cries and slaps a hand over Sirius' mouth. "Oh Merlin stop saying it- that is so fucked up Sirius."
The shorter boys eyebrows pull together and he licks a firm line up James' palm, which has the taller boy yanking his hand away with a yelp and trying to shake the spit off.
"Stop saying what? Mudblood?"
"Sirius." James hisses. "That is not an okay word to use."
If it was even possible, Sirius looks more confused now, and James' head reels, does Sirius actually not know?
"What do you mean? That's what they're called isn't it?"
James shakes his head. "They're called muggleborns. Did you really not know that?"
Sirius shakes his head violently. "No- no, I didn't. Are you sure? My family has always called them the other word."
"Called who what other word?" Remus asks, having caught up to where the two stopped and glances at them curiously.
Sirius opens his mouth before James can stop him.
"James says that mudbloods are called muggleborns? And that mudblood is a bad word or somethi-"
James groans as Remus' expression hardens and his hand snakes out to smack Sirius across the face, which shuts the dark haired boy up so fast it's downright eerie. James thought for sure that Sirius would splutter, or fight back or start screaming, but he just straightens his shoulders and looks at the spot under Remus' left eye, taking the hit and basically opening himself up to another.
"Shut the fuck up Sirius." Remus seethes. "You have no right- what the fuck is wrong with you? Throwing that word around-"
"I don't think he knows!" James says, grabbing Remus' arm before he can hit Sirius again, but Sirius is just staring at Remus with wide eyes, mouth snapped shut and back ramrod straight. "I think it's that pureblood family stuff- you don't get it Remus, but my grandpa used to do the same thing before my Mum laid into him over Christmas. He just doesn't know any better- let me talk to him. You guys go on, he'll want to apologize as soon as I tell him what's wrong."
Remus yanks his hand back and sends a scathing look Sirius' way before storming off towards the lake.
"Sorry, mate." Peter squeaks, patting Sirius' shoulder before scampering after Remus.
"I'm so sorry," Sirius starts, tears welling up in his dark grey eyes. "I don't know what I said wrong- why is that such a terrible word? I don't know anything else."
James studies Sirius, who's curling in on himself now, the confident, curious boy gone the second Remus hit him. It's not normal for Sirius to have no verbal response to something so bold from Remus. Remus' palm connected with cheek and it's like it shattered the Sirius they knew, leaving a shell.
James gently grips Sirius' upper arms.
"Take a deep breath Sirius, with me." He takes a deep breath and waits for Sirius' lungs to fill to full capacity before letting it out, watching the tears fade as Sirius does too, he notes idly that he and Sirius breathe at the same time, in tandem with each other.
"Alright Sirius," James starts. "First of all, that word is called a slur- you know what that means right?" Sirius shakes his head. "Okay, um... that word was used throughout many generations in the distant past to look down on muggleborn wizards, to call them weak and like... subservient or something. Sorry, I'm trying to explain it how my mum did." Sirius nods and waits for James to gather his thoughts. "Okay, so you know how the n-word isn't something you call people because it's terribly rude and it's extremely offensive and packed with negative connotations against an entire race of people?" Sirius nods slowly, not like he's lying but like he's trying to connect the dots. "So the word we're talking about is kind of the same thing, we don't say it because it's extremely hurtful, and it's not like, politically correct anymore."
Sirius shifts his feet and tilts his head. "Is that why Remus hit me? Did he think I was calling him that?"
James winces. "Yeah probably- are you- are you okay? Getting hit like that must have been jarring."
Sirius blinks and tilts his head, like a dog that doesn't understand what you're saying. "What? No. I get slapped in the face all the time. I should apologize- and I won't ever say that word again I promise."
James' jaw goes slack once again and he grabs Sirius' arms tighter before he can pull away.
"What?" Sirius snaps.
"What do you mean you get hit all the time?" James gasps out, he's terrified of the answer and hopeful Sirius means little flicks on the cheek from Ceres or their mother.
Sirius shrugs. "You know, like when you ask too many annoying questions, or right before getting put in a closet for a couple hours for mouthing off. Remus didn't even hit me half as hard as my Mother does, really he was quite nice about it."
James finds himself gaping at Sirius for the second time, which obviously makes Sirius uncomfortable, shifting foot to foot and staring at James more and more confused.
"Why do you keep staring at me like that-"
"Your mum hits you?" James doesn't mean to whisper but he does. He can't imagine Effie ever raising a hand to anyone, and especially not to James, he can't imagine a mother ever hitting their child.
Sirius hesitates, seeming to contemplate whether or not to tell the truth.
"Yes," Sirius says at last. "Doesn't yours?"
"No." James whispers again, not meaning to but there's a lump in his throat at the thought of Sirius not feeling entirely safe with his mum, if Effie ever hit James he's not sure he'd ever forgive her or see her the same, and to learn that Sirius gets hit so often, locked in a fucking closet so often that he's positive it's normal squeezes at James' heart. "Of course she doesn't. Mothers aren't supposed to do that."
"What are mothers supposed to do?" Sirius whispers back, like it's taboo, like they shouldn't be talking about this, and maybe they shouldn't, maybe James should be asking more questions or trying to convince Sirius to get help but they're eleven, and James doesn't know what to do other than to tell Sirius what a good mother is.
"Mums hold you when you're sad and answer all your questions." James says firmly. "And- and they bake you cookies on Christmas and read your favorite books at night. They tuck you into bed with a kiss and rub your back when you're not feeling well. They take care of you when you're sick and always make sure you're eating good. Most importantly mum's are never supposed to hit, and aren't supposed to lock you up anywhere."
Sirius thinks for a long time, staring at James, whose heart is breaking for his friend.
"Do you have anyone like that Sirius? Don't you have someone to be your mum?" James pleads, hoping there's an aunt or a grandma or someone who shows Sirius Black the love and nurturing he deserves.
Sirius mumbles something and James has to force him to repeat it.
"Ceres." Sirius says, looking away. "Ceres does all that stuff for me."
James' heart soars and he grips Sirius' fingers. "Good, but please Sirius, come spend time at my house this summer, we'll hang out- you can get to know my mom, maybe she can be kind of like your second- er, third mom."
He contemplates it and nods. "Okay, I can try." Sirius tries to smile but it just bleeds into a grimace and James pulls him into a crushing hug, wrapping himself in the scent of peppermint and vanilla.
After a much needed, very long hug, they start to walk over to Remus and Peter. Sirius bounds forward, apologies and promises already spilling from his lips in tidal waves, begging to be forgiven.
James surveys the courtyard, gaze landing on Ceres Black as she walks briskly out of the castle and towards a group of Slytherins lounging in the grass. His lips tug down in a frown, remembering Sirius' words.
"Ceres does all that stuff for me."
James can't help but wonder if she has anyone who does it for her. The thought is shaken from his mind as Lily joins the Marauders with another first year, a Ravenclaw, Mary MacDonald. They spend the Saturday skipping rocks and planning pranks, excitedly retelling stories of earlier in the year and earlier in their lives.
"I can't wait," Sirius beams. "My little brother is gonna be here next year and you guys are gonna love him! He's so sweet, but he's a little sensitive so you'll have to be careful with your sarcasm, Remus." The shorter boy shoots a look at Remus and the blonde shrugs noncommittally.
"I'll do my best. Didn't you say he was a sassy little shit?" Remus raises his hands at Sirius' narrowed gaze. "Your words, quoted, not mine."
Sirius huffs and turns his nose up. "He is, but he's my little brother and I don't need you guys scaring him off. He's got a fragile heart and he overthinks way too much, if you say something mean he'll probably cry about it and then I'll have to fight you."
Remus tilts his head with a grin. "I think I could take you, Sirius."
"Do you think you could take Ceres?"
Remus' eyes trail over to where the Slytherins are still perched. "Physically? Yes. Magically? Probably not, she's two years ahead after all."
Sirius shakes his head with a laugh. "Nah man, she'd have you on your ass in two seconds, and she won't hesitate over Regulus. He's the baby of our family- we'd protect his baby face to the death y'know?" Sirius holds his hand out, gripped in a fist, miming pointing a sword at Remus' chest. "Beware ye- don't fucketh with my brother or I'll puteth a dog turd in you pillow!"
Everyone dissolves into a fit of laughter, hands jumping out and James can't place who says- "Dog shit? Really?"- from who says- "Don't be a coward, shit in his bed yourself."- though he expects the last one came from Lily, and it has them all laughing again.
When it all dies down and Mary is wiping her eyes with a grin, Sirius says. "Seriously though, I really want him to like you guys so please be nice next year? He's gonna need to know he can come to me if he needs me without being scared my friends are gonna bite him."
Remus pushes his left foot into Sirius's right. "Of course, we'll give him a warm welcome and help him acclimate. You have nothing to worry about, Sirius."
The shorter boy sighs and gives a shaky smile, seeming relieved.
Peter nods in affirmation and launches into a story about his youngest siblings. Lily adds into the conversation with talk of her muggle sister and Mary has a little brother, who isn't even potty trained yet that she calls Bing- Bing.
James grins at his group of friends and feels something warm settle in his chest. He leans on Sirius and sets his feet in Peters lap, tilts his head to the sky with his eyes closed, this is where he's happiest, surrounded by his friend's laughter and feeling emerald green eyes trace over his skin.