Day Two
Having a hangover around Pansy is hell. Being her maid of honor is a whole other story. I’ve been running around all day since the break of dawn. Helping her with the finishing touches. Finally an hour before the wedding, I’m sitting with all the girls getting ready. I can’t help but let my mind wander to last night's events. I can’t believe him. Who gave him the confidence to tell me he’s not over me? Draco is the one who refused to commit to me. Refused to even talk to me about kids. Then when I finally forced him to talk he screamed. Lost it. Told me he never wanted kids. That Marriage was just for show. The thing that broke me was when he said his job was the most important in his life. That marriage and kids would just be a burden. Now I have to walk down the aisle with him at Pansy and Blaise’s wedding, dance with him, and pretend like nothing happened. Worst of all I then have to return to our fucking shared room.
Once my makeup and hair are done, I slip my bridesmaid dress on. I have to admit Pansy has great taste. It is a silk emerald green floor-length dress, with a slit going up one side. The top is a flattering v-cut with spaghetti straps. The fabric hugging me in all the right places.
“You look beautiful.” I look up at Draco through the mirror.
“I assume if you’re here it's time to go?” I turn to face him fully. He nods a strange look on his face. I walk past him to the hallway, refusing to touch him until I have to. We hook arms as the Chapel doors open. Smiles grow on our faces for show. I love Pansy and I am so happy for her, but it's hard to be outwardly happy when I’m walking down the aisle with the man I love, but can’t marry. It gives me a glimpse at a future I will never have.
The rest of the ceremony goes off without a hitch. I stand proudly at my best friend's side as she marries the man she loves. Then at dinner, I cry giving my maid of honor speech. Reminiscing on our days in Hogwarts when she and Blaise first got together. Then the moment I’ve been dreading finally comes. Dancing with Draco. We take our place on the floor, the rest of the wedding party making a circle around the newlyweds. Draco's hands feel so natural on me. Our hands interlinked, another resting warmly against my waist. The music starts playing and we fall into step with perfect precision.
“One day it's going to be me dancing at your wedding,” Draco whispers to me.
“Who said you’re invited,” I growl under my breath.
“I’d hoped it would be our wedding.” Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him. I can’t even scream at him, I’m trapped. Of course, he would take this as his opportunity.
“You made your choice.”
“I regret it.”
“You’re not allowed.”
“But-”
“Marrying you was all I wanted, and you shut it down. You made your bed now lie in it.” The song ends at the perfect time. I take my leave, as everyone else is filtering onto the floor. Draco disappears into the crowd. I lock myself in a bathroom stall and finally let the tears fall. This is all so fucked up. We were together for seven years. Then we hated each other for three years and all of a sudden he’s spouting bullshit. I can admit to myself I still love him. That I still imagine a future with him, but I also know it's wrong. That I can’t just run back into his arms after he hurt me. I can’t fall for his cheap words.
Once I have cleaned myself up I return to the wedding. Mingling and dancing with my friends. Letting myself get lost in the warmth of the people I love most. I only catch glimpses of Draco the rest of the night. Both of us avoid the other, refusing to ruin the day any more than we already have. More than he already has. Around three am Pansy and Blaise take their leave. I follow their lead disappearing to my room. Our room. God this whole thing sucks. When I open the door Draco is already there. Sitting on the edge of the bed. His overcoat hung on the desk chair. The sleeves of his white shirt rolled to his elbows. The emerald green tie hanging loosely around his neck. I ignore his existence while I maneuver out of my dress. I hang it gently in the wardrobe, getting into comfy clothes. Finally, I turn to face him. I want to scream, cry, and throw something at him, but before I can do anything he’s pulling a small box from his pocket. A lump forms in my throat and I can’t speak.
“I bought this after our first date.” He cracks the box open revealing a stunning sapphire engagement ring. “I knew from that very moment you were the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with.” Tears gather in my water line, but I refuse to cry.
“What are you doing?” My voice is weak, lacking any anger.
“I was scared, I didn’t think I deserved you.”
“You deserved me before, now I’m not so sure.” He stands walking over to me. He gently places a hand on my cheek.
“I don’t think I’ll ever deserve you, but that doesn’t mean my heart doesn't long for you.” I finally let my tears fall.
“My heart has been yours since the day I met you Draco, but you broke it.” My heart shatters further as a tear slips down his cheek.
“My heart hasn't beat since that day. I feel so lost without your light guiding me through the darkness of life.” I brush his hand off my cheek.
“I’m not doing this with you right now. Goodnight.” I brush past him settling into the bed. He dutifully turns the light off shrouding the room in darkness. I silently cry for what feels like hours. Finally, I snap.
“Are you awake?” I whisper.
“Yea.” Draco responds from his bed on the floor.
“Come up to the bed you dolt.” I say a sad smile etched onto my face. I can’t see much in the darkness, but I hear his blankets shuffle before the mattress shifts under his weight. I reach out blindly till my fingertips find his arm. Without words, I pull myself against his chest. I didn’t even hear him change his clothes. He's only in a pair of sweatpants. “What are we going to do?” I whisper into his chest. His arms wrap around me.
“The only thing I know is that I messed up. I ruined the one good thing in my life.” He speaks against my hair.
“I know I keep acting like I don’t want you, but it’s all a lie. I just don’t know if I can trust you with my heart again.”
“I don’t expect you to just drop everything and come back. I think we need to slowly work on it.” I laugh softly
“That’s the smartest thing that has come out of your mouth in three years.” His chest rumbles with his laugh. He presses a soft kiss to my hair.
“Goodnight, love”
“Goodnight, Dray.”