"Simply Unprofitable."
Jen had woken up with an awful headache. Did she feel a little bad for storming out on Alice last night? Yes. But was she still angry at her? Well, sort of. It was hard to stay annoyed at someone so cute, and deep down she knew that Alice wasn’t really embarrassed of her. She’d noticed the girl’s nervousness whenever they were together, her self-deprecating comments, her persistent uncertainty. Jen knew that Alice was struggling with something deeper, but it still hurt to be shafted by the one who was supposed to love her.
And of course, just to top off her frustration, she had another shift at the cafe. Lilia was insisting they needed to put more hours in, and to be honest, Jen could do with something to take her mind off everything. She just needed a break, some time to think over what had happened, and then maybe she’d reach out to Alice.
After throwing her uniform on and suitably covering herself in jewellery, her gaze fell upon the pink crochet scarf that sat on her vanity. It still smelt like Alice’s perfume.
It felt wrong to put it on, but she’d grown used to its presence around her neck, especially now the colder months were fast approaching. She ended up throwing it on last minute before making a dash for the tube into central- it wasn’t as though she’d be seeing Alice today, what did it matter?
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“You wanted a word?” Agatha said, trying to maintain her usual bravado. One of her company’s largest investors had emailed her a couple of days ago—a message she had only just stumbled upon while skimming her junk folder for anything worth her attention. And this was definitely worthy.
She had managed to leave quickly enough for Rio not to question her departure and had set up her laptop in a cramped supply cupboard, which she hoped looked formal enough for the Zoom meeting. Agatha said a silent prayer that nobody would disturb her and clicked on the blasted link.
“Ah, Miss Harkness, thank you for getting back to us so promptly,” the blonde woman on the other end of the call said with a sarcastic smile.
“Oh, right. Sorry about the delay; business has just been so busy—”
“I’m sure it has,” the blonde replied pointedly. “But the numbers aren’t looking good, Miss Harkness. Our investment is becoming simply unprofitable.”
Agatha scoffed. Who did this woman think she was? Panic began to seep into her voice as she processed the woman’s words. In the last five years, she had seen her marriage, social life, and reputation crumble around her; this business was all she had left.
“Excuse me! I’m sure you’ve enjoyed scouring those garbage rags that have so much to say about me, but none of those are reputable sources. We are doing perfectly fine! Besides, I have a new collection brewing, a new collaboration, things are really looking up-”
“I’m sorry, Miss Harkness...”
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After a perfectly valid meltdown in the supply closet, and a smashed laptop screen, Agatha strutted back into the office looking completely unruffled. Just act casual. She told herself. Vidal didn’t need to know, and besides, their new collection would totally rejuvenate their sales. Still, her mother’s voice echoed in the back of her mind; ‘ failure, useless, disappointment.’
Her eyes, as always, found their way to Rio, admiring how she looked in those black cargos and cropped jacket. Another perfectly flattering piece that the woman had clearly made herself. It was a little messy on the sleeves, but the attempt was there.
The subject of Agatha’s not-so-subtle scrutiny was half-buried in reams of fabric and scrunched up papers, scribbling in her sketchbook with one hand and typing away on her phone with the other. Jeez, she was worse than Nicky.
“Love what you’ve done with the place” Agatha scoffed, kicking a roll of orange silk fabric with a grimace “God, who ordered that?”
Rio looked up from her perch on the floor, finally noticing the mess surrounding her; it was like being back home in her bedroom.
“It’s how I work best. ‘Embrace the chaos’, that's what you said.”
“I never said that” Agatha folded her arms.
“Yeah you did.” Rio insisted, looking Agatha up and down.
"Did not." The older woman retorted.
“Anyway, where’d you disappear off to?”
“What?” Agatha said innocently, "I never left darling. You must have just gotten so in the zone, huh?” She said with that obnoxious wink.
“Been here all day.”
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Saturday morning found Rio still awake, having spent the entire night sketching silhouette concepts for House of Harkness’s new collection. Her tarantula crawled up her legs, an oddly comforting companion to her creative frenzy. She hadn’t intended to lose herself for nearly ten hours hunched on her bed, mindlessly snacking on slightly stale chocolates that had lingered in her cupboard since Christmas. Yet, as her imagination flowed, time slipped away unnoticed. It was only when the sunlight began to filter through the curtains, almost blinding her, that she snapped back to reality and glanced at her cracked phone. 9:32. Sleep was pointless now; it was practically a new day, and after hours of confinement, she longed for fresh air. And by fresh air, she meant a trip to the café. She squinted against the brightness of her phone as it illuminated her face, shakily typing out a new message
‘Aliiii, you wanna meet at Calderu’s? I’m craving a coffee.” She typed out. As always, Alice responded
“I swear, Agatha’s gotten you addicted. Why don't we go somewhere else? The Starbucks in town will probably be cheaper”
“What? But we always go to Calderu’s on a Saturday morning. That’s the routine. Meet there?” was Rio’s reply, accompanied by some praying emojis.
“I don’t really fancy it hon, maybe you can ask someone else to go with you?”
“Who? You know you’re my only friend Ali. Come onnn. Jen will be there”
“That’s the problem”
Rio blinked. What the hell? Alice had been going to see Jen at least t wice a day since she’d first introduced them.
“What happened, did you break up?”
“We weren’t even properly together”
“Sure”
Alice’s text bubble lingered for a couple minutes before another message arrived
“Can we talk in person? If you come round to mine, I’ll make you a coffee way better than Jen’s”
“Alrighttt, I’ll be there in ten”
Rio sighed, pulling on some sweats and rushing down the stairs of her building . She tripped over her feet and almost flew down the final flight, but at least she managed to avoid knocking out any pensioners today. She grabbed her beaten-up bike and took of down the street.
When Alice opened the door, she was missing her usual eyeliner and dark lipstick, wearing a pair of baggy ripped jeans and an old pajama top that Rio remembered from when they used to have sleepovers. Rio breathed heavily, leaning on the door frame.
“Hey Ali-”
“Coffee is upstairs” Alice smiled, not quite meeting her friend’s eyes.
The pair sat up in the attic, sipping their coffees, which admittedly were definitely not better than Jen’s. Alice was sat on a beanbag with her legs crossed, her gaze not leaving her drink.
“Are you crying?” Rio said suddenly, her tone flat. She wasn't great at comforting others, and the thought that Alice might be even a little upset made her feel sick. Still, she’d try to offer as much comfort as she could manage.
“What? No, it’s just the heat from my coffee, y'know, steam” Alice muttered, her voice cracking a little and she blew on her drink. Rio awkwardly scooted closer. She’d have to cut to the chase.
“What happened with Jen? Weren’t you only just with her last night?”
Alice shrugged, sighing. “I- she got mad at me”
Rio frowned “What, why? What did she do?”
“No, I mean, it was my fault” Alice said, shaking her head. “I just...I don’t know what happened... I mean, we kissed the other night”
“Ha!” Rio beamed triumphantly “I knew it-“ she began, but seeing the distress on her friends face, she decided it was best to hold her tongue. She smiled sheepishly “Sorry. Go on”
“And then yesterday, when I rang you and said she was just dropping stuff off, she got really mad at me. Well, not mad, but like, disappointed. Like when that nice teacher in school used to tell us off”
Rio scoffed at the memory. “She was upset you didn’t tell me you’d been kissing? It’s not your fault if you were embarrassed to tell me. I mean, I would have taken the piss, so fair enough-”
“She kind of thought I was embarrassed about being with her.”
“Are you?”
“I-I don’t know. It feels wrong, but-“
“Wrong? Ali, you’ve been into girls since we were like, 12. Remember your obsession with that one girl, what was her name?”
Alice flushed, putting her head in her hands. “I was a kid, it was dumb”
Rio sighed, shaking her head at her friends lack of self awareness.
“So you don’t know if you like Jen, or you don’t know if you like women?”
“I like Jen” Alice said quickly, her blush growing by the second.
“Jen is a woman” Rio pointed out, suppressing a smirk.
“Yeah but- oh, I don’t know. Just, growing up my family was always going on about me getting a boyfriend, I feel like I have to. I mean, I’m 25 and I’ve not dated anyone yet. It’s embarrassing”
Rio sighed. She knew Alice’s family weren’t the most supportive people, but she also knew there was no way in hell she was going to let her best friend miss out on being with Jen.
“It’s not embarrassing. You can like girls hon, it’s the 21st century”
“I know, but still. I know it’s stupid, I just keep telling myself Jen and I are friends, and I guess it was showing in the way I treated her. Every time I get close to her I just hate myself more and more...” Alice trailed off, tapping on her coffee cup, the liquid now cold and neglected. Tears slipped down her flushed skin, illuminated by the fairy lights that hung from the ceiling.
Rio put an arm around her. “Alice. Don’t… don’t say that. It doesn’t matter who you like, as long as they treat you right and you love eachother. If you like her, you need to tell her properly Ali. Explain how you feel, maybe tell her a bit about your sexuality. She really likes you Alice, I’ve seen the way she looks at you. And you make a cute couple.”
Alice laughed a little at that, a small smile sprouting behind her tears. She sniffed. “She probably hates me now. She thinks I’m ashamed to be with her. I totally messed it up.”
“You didn’t mess it up babe. Everyone argues and makes mistakes. Hell, we argue all the time, but we are still best friends, yeah? Don’t stress. You just gotta explain how you feel”
Alice nodded, biting her lip.
“So, you don’t...you don’t mind that I like her?”
Rio raised an eyebrow “You think I’d care?”
“I mean, if you can have a crush on your 40-something year old boss, maybe it’s not so awful that I like Jen” Alice muttered, picking at a loose thread on her jeans.
“She’s my business partner now, not my boss. And I don’t have a goddamn crush on her!” Rio huffed.
“I know” Alice laughed, “I’m fucking with you, but you did get pretty defensive there. A little suspicious if you ask me” she said, wiping the tears that clung to her face with her sleeve.
“Right, let’s go to Calderu’s”
Alice blinked, hugging one of the pink pillows that littered the floor. “
Now? No way, I look a total mess.”
“Chill, you look cute. Jen’s gonna love it. Besides, you look way better than me” Rio pointed out, gesturing to her grey sweats which were covered in splotches of rogue paint.
“True.” Alice laughed.
“Hey!”
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Agatha had spent her entire ‘day off’ sat in her home office, a notebook infront of her as she tried to come up with some sort of positive figure for her finances. Maths was never her strong suit, and with the amount of pressure she was putting on her pen, purple ink began to blot and seep through her paper. She groaned, slamming down the lid of her laptop and putting her head down on the desk.
“Fucking stupid-” she began.
“Mami?” A faint, apprehensive voice echoed from the doorway. “Are you ready?”
Agatha cursed herself, feeling her heart clench at the nervousness in Nicky’s tone. Why did she scare him?
“Ready for what?” she mumbled, lifting her head up and running her hands through her crumpled hair. “Oh.”
Nicky was stood at the doorway, hopping from foot to foot. He was in his little red soccer kit and boots, a hopeful smile on his face and a ball in his hand, which he was throwing up and down.
Agatha resisted the urge to tell him to stop playing inside and sighed, “Can we give it a miss tonight kid? Mama is really busy.”
Nicky’s face fell, his gaze lowering. “Pleeaase, it’s the finals, I neeeed to be there so we can win.” He whined, bouncing his football with a little more aggression than before. “And you’ll get to fight with all the annoying moms. Pleeease?”
Agatha could never say no to him. She shoved her notebook into her handbag and threw a couple pens inside.
“Fine honey, let’s go”
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Agatha ended up on the bleachers trying to shield herself from the relentless downpouring of rain as she continued her work. She’d spent hours looking through the figures, her savings, business revenue, ad deals, everything. God how she wished she’d kept Vidal around as her assistant to do all this pointless crap.
At least the other moms knew to steer clear of Agatha; they’d swarmed together like pests on the other side of the field, sharing snacks and cheering on the kids. Still, she practically despised all of them; it’s a kid's soccer match, not a fucking world cup. Some of them would bring banners and everything, yelling and whooping every time their kid got so much as two feet away from the ball. They’d all stand there in their knock-off sportswear as though they were getting any exercise just standing around, and they always wore those stupid neon sneakers which never failed to make Agatha feel slightly ill. It wasn’t as though it was hard to walk over the field in Louboutin's- did these women have no sense of pride? It was just sad, and Agatha would rather join in with the soccer than talk to any of those creatures.
She nearly jumped out of her skin when the kids and parents alike began to cheer and scream, her purple pen slipping from her wet hands and falling through the bench into a puddle below. Great. She looked up, expecting to see that perhaps a child had actually managed to kick the ball in a straight line, but no, it appeared someone had scored.
Nicky was doing a little victory dance as he ran towards his mother, grinning.
“Mami! Mami! Did you see me score? We won! I won!” He yelled to Agatha, who was oblivious.
“What? Oh, yeah, that was so amazing baby!” Agatha tried to force a smile while internally berating herself. She couldn’t be a good wife, she couldn’t be a good businesswoman and now she couldn’t even be a decent mother. How could she have missed her baby's moment like that?
Nicky threw himself into his mother's lap, getting mud and grass and rain all over Agatha’s designer power suit. She grimaced for only a second before wrapping her arms around him, burying her face in his soft brown locks.
“Oh baby, you’re getting too big for this” she winced under his weight, laughing.
“No I’m not!” He insisted. “That was so cool. Wasn’t it amazing?”
Agatha nodded; of course, she didn’t have the heart to tell her son that she’d been busy working out non existant profits while he’d been winning his match, but he needn’t find out.
“Oh, Dad is gonna be so proud of me, he says I’m gonna be pro some day!” Nicky laughed, playing with his mother’s hair.
Agatha bristled at the mention of Ralph, sighing softly into Nicky's hair. “I’m so proud of you baby”
Eventually, he wriggled out of her grip, grumbling as his mother kissed his cheeks.
“Bye” He laughed, running back onto the field with his friends.
Agatha shot a smug look at the bitchy moms on the other side of the field. That was her son, winning, and their kids could hardly kick a ball. And if she couldn’t win, she’d make sure as hell that he could. She dumped her drenched notebook back into her handbag and stood up, stretching. The finance was hopeless, and if the collab with Rio didn’t sell, she’d be royally fucked. But hey, her kid did just score the winning goal.
“Come on Nicky, we gotta go celebrate!”
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It was midday when they finally arrived at Calderu’s, and as they approached the counter it became clear that their favorite snarky barista had been replaced by a bubbly redhead, who hummed as she served two coffees to an elderly couple.
Alice tugged on the sleeve of Rio’s sweatshirt, her eyes skimming the cafe apprehensively.
“She’s not here, we should leave it. I can just facetime her or something, it doesn't matter.” She mumbled. Rio shook her head.
“No way, we are sorting this out here and now. I’m not having you thinking you’ve messed up, and I’m not having Jen believe you hate her.” She said, marching up to the counter.
“Hey! What can I get y’all?” The redhead smiled, tapping away at the cash desk. “We got drinks on 3 for 2-”
“Where’s Jen?” Rio interrupted firmly, leaning toward the counter. She had picked up a few intimidation techniques from Agatha, and they seemed to be effective.
“Jen? Oh, she’s in the back. Wanted to work in the kitchen for some reason. Are you her friends or something?” she said, that same cheerful smile still plastered on her face. “Didn’t realize she had friends.”
Alice bristled, her gaze sharpening. “Why wouldn’t she?” she retorted, her tone sharper than intended. Rio couldn’t help but chuckle; her friend had an instinct for protection when it came to those she cared about.
The redhead faltered for a moment, then shrugged. “Well, you know, she can be a bit prickly. I’ll go fetch her for you right away.”
Jen finally emerged from the kitchen, dressed in her usual blue apron and stacked necklaces; her braids tied back. She scowled at the redhead.
“Lauren, I told you I’m busy, and I’m trying to keep a low profile—”
Her brown eyes narrowed as she spotted Rio and Alice waiting at the counter. Of course, they’d come just when she was starting to calm down. Washing dishes was therapeutic, and she didn’t want her paid self-care time interrupted by unwanted visitors.
Rio nudged Alice with an unsubtle smirk. “She’s still wearing your scarf~”
Alice stepped on Rio’s foot, willing her to be quiet for once. She awkwardly shifted her gaze to Jen, trying to smile normally, though it seemed she’d forgotten how to use her face “
Uh… hey.” Alice waved
Jen sighed, waving the other employee away with a tea towel. A hint of remorse seeped into her usually confident tone.
“Alice, I’m working. Maybe we can talk later, but I’m busy now. Just let me have some space.”
She turned on her heel and headed back to the kitchen. The redhead, Lauren, who had been watching the interaction with a mix of confusion and amusement, turned to the pair with a smile.
“Do you guys still want drinks?”
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