Week 3
It is during the third week of brewing the polyjuice potion that attention, patience, and detail is critical. Even the slightest misstep will ruin the potion. Proceed with caution.
These are the instructions that I read aloud to James as we study in the library, working on our project. He hums quietly in acknowledgement but is otherwise silent. I look over to him and he’s merely staring at me.
I wack him slightly with my book, “You’re not even paying attention to me are you?”
He grins sheepishly, “would you feel better if I lied?”
I roll my eyes at him and scoff, “you’re lucky you’re pretty you know.”
“You think I’m pretty?”
I roll my eyes, “it’s not a compliment.”
“So if I called you pretty you would be insulted.”
I try to ignore the heat creeping up my neck, “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“But you’re p-“
“Don’t finish that sentence James, or I will make sure our potion blows up on you.”
“But then you’d fail. I think you would die if we failed.”
“I’m not a Ravenclaw for Merlin’s sake.”
He smirks, “should’ve been, you nerd.”
I stick my tongue out at him, “whatever pretty boy. Now do your work, we need to get this essay done on time.”
“See, nerd.”
“I swear to God, Potter.” I threaten, raising my book again.
He holds his hands up in surrender and points to his book, “okay, okay.”
I stand up and gather my books, “I’m going to start on the next step of the potion while you start the essay. See you in a bit?”
He nods.
*****
On the following Friday as I head to Potions, I feel my heart racing. Though at this point I spend more time with James than anyone else, he never ceases to make me nervous. Still, I am determined to be as normal as possible around the boy. I am surprised on entering the room to find that he has already taken his seat at our shared desk.
“You’re early.” I tell him.
“Or perhaps you’re just late.”
I give him my best, “be serious” look. Before taking a seat. As I pull out my supplies, I’m overwhelmed by the smell of, I take a deep whiff, cologne? The scent is so strong I barely cough out, “Merlin, James, how much cologne did you put on this morning? I can barely breathe.”
He sniffs his shirt with confusion, “I don’t think it smells that strongly. I only did a few sprays.”
“Maybe you’ve just burned your nose hairs off from chemical overload.”
“Can’t be when all I can smell is your perfume. I think you’re the one with the real problem here.”
Before I can respond and tell him that he's crazy, I ran out of perfume yesterday so I’m not wearing any today, Slughorn walks in and begins class.
“Today, class, we’re going to be learning about a particularly dangerous potion.”
He motions towards a cauldron in front of him, “I’ve brewed a sample here. Come up and take a look. And, perhaps, take a sniff too.”
We all move towards the cauldron to find a bubbling, bright pink potion. I inhale deeply but still can’t smell anything over James’ cologne. He really does have a problem.
Once we all return to our desks, Slughorn asks, “can anyone tell me what this potion is?”
James, who is usually quiet in Potions, raises his hand.
“Mr. Potter?”
“That potion, Professor, is amortentia. It’s the most powerful love potion in the world. It is known to smell like whatever attracts a person. For example, perfume or… cologne.”
Shit.
I stare straight ahead, ignoring the boy beside me.
“Very good Potter, ten points to Gryffindor. Now…”
Slughorn begins to drone on about the properties of amortentia but I can’t bear to listen. Instead, my mind is spinning and my heart is racing. Although Potter can be a lot of things, unintelligent is not one of them. He definitely knows now that I like him. Shit, shit, shit. This is not good.
But. He did say he smelled my perfume, and I’m not wearing any….
No, no, no. He likes Lily. I’m being ridiculous. I just want to think that he likes me because the reality is far too unbearable.
When class is dismissed I jump up from my seat and speed out of the room, hoping to put enough distance between me and Potter so that he can’t catch up to me.
*****
In the evening I head to the third floor bathroom to check on the poly juice potion. We’re approaching the final week of brewing so it’s important that we take extra care. I arrive earlier than James and I’s usual meeting time so as to avoid any interaction with him. I get so lost in my work that I don’t notice when I’m joined by another person.
“Couldn’t wait for me?”
I jump a mile. Refusing to look at the raven-haired boy, I keep my head down as I tell him that I went ahead and completed our work for the week. I collect my things and try to walk past him but, of course, he doesn’t let me.
“Y/n” he says in a low tone.
“James, please move.”
“No, we need to talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
He lifts my chin, “you know that’s not true.”
I begin to back away and shake my head. Tears cloud my vision, “No. No, James, I can’t do this.”
He steps towards me and tries to grab my hand.
I pull away quickly, “don’t touch me.”
“Y/n,” he pleads, “Please, just hear me out.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m crazy about you.”
At this point, tears are streaming down my face, “No, you’re not. Don’t say that.”
“Y/n…” he says, his voice trembling.
“Don’t lie! You don’t care about me. You love Lily. You always have and always will. I’m just a distraction, someone that will give you attention until she finally gives you the time of day.”
“No, I used to love Lily. But now I don’t. I only care about you.”
A lump forms in my throat as I try to fight back more tears. “Even if that’s true” I tell him, my voice shaking, “we can’t be together.”
“Why not?”
“Because!” I shout, “I can’t have my heart broken again.”
Barely above a whisper he replies, “But what if you’re breaking mine?”
I stare at him for a moment. The beautiful boy I’ve grown to care for the past few weeks looks totally and utterly broken. His clothes are disheveled and his prefect badge askewed, different from that fated day in potions 3 weeks ago.
I take a deep breath and wipe the tear stains away, “I’m sorry Potter, the answer’s no.”
I collect my things that I must have dropped at some point and tell him, “I’ll finish up the potion next week, while you finish the essay. Then, after we turn it in, I’ll ask Slughorn to change our partners. I walk towards the door and, this time, he doesn’t stop me.