The Patronus
Harry knew that Hermione had meant well... ever see it again.
"It felt like being back at the Dursleys," Harry said with a little more confidence now. "Having my things taken away from me. I felt like I had no control over it."
"Your control was stolen from you," Claudius said understandingly. "It must have felt like a breech of trust."
Harry nodded. "And I didn't think I'd get it back. The Dursleys never gave me anything back."
"I'm so sorry, Harry," Hermione said. "I had no idea."
"I know," Harry said. "It's okay."
He was positive that there was nothing wrong... subjected to all sorts of anti-jinx tests?
"But you didn't know!" Hermione huffed.
Harry grinned at her. Obviously he didn't. But he had been thirteen and relatively stupid.
Ron was furious with Hermione too... nothing less than criminal damage.
Some of the adults in the chamber looked like they agreed with him. They understood the need for caution however and so they said nothing.
Hermione, who remained convinced that she had acted for the best... persuade her to come back.
"So, you both just stopped talking to her?" Sirius asked. That didn't sound like the Harry he'd read about. "You didn't try talking to her?"
"She wouldn't discuss it," Harry said softly. "Just kept insisting that she was right. She didn't give me a chance to tell her how I felt. Well, actually, her and Ron didn't really give me a chance. Every time they saw each other they'd start arguing again."
All in all, they were glad... we can't afford you to - well -"
Minerva looked ready to pounce on Oliver for that. The young man in question did look slightly guilty.
Wood broke off... I really didn't want to lose you as Seeker, Harry.
George glared at Wood now. "We'd have lost for sure without Harry!"
"I know," Oliver said with a sigh. "I was in a tight spot."
George shook his head, clearly unimpressed.
And have you ordered a new broom yet?"... a real Firebolt?"
Sirius frowned. Why was everyone else sticking their nose in? Harry should have been the one to tell his captain that. Especially seeing as how there was a real chance he might not get it back.
"Don't get excited, Oliver,"... "Jinxed? How could it be jinxed?"
Minerva opened her mouth but Draco Malfoy beat her to it. "The firebolt is one of the safest brooms out there because of all the jinx proofing they put into it. It's a professional broom - in fact, it's the best pro broom there is."
"Sirius Black,".... famous murderer was after his Seeker,
That earned Oliver several foul looks.
Wood said... buy a broomstick?"
Several of the adults laughed. That was perhaps the most naive thing they'd heard this book.
"Polyjuice," Tonks said.
"The imperius," Moody suggested.
"Owl order," George added with a shrug.
"I know," said Harry,... A Firebolt. . . . "
"That won't end well," Remus chuckled.
Classes started again the next day... white-hot logs.
Hagrid smiled at hearing that his lesson had been enjoyable.
The first Divination lesson of the new term... the shortest life line she had ever seen.
"I wasn't lying you know," Trelawney said.
"I know," Harry said with a sigh. He had died at seventeen after all. It wasn't completely impossible that she'd been right.
It was Defense... Dementor into the castle to practice on. . . . "
Several people paled at the idea of that.
"Still looks ill, doesn't he?"... "What d'you reckon's the matter with him?"
Mrs Weasley smiled at how caring her son could be.
There was a loud and impatient "tuh"... "Nothing," said Hermione in a lofty voice,
Mrs Granger sighed. These two were ridiculous. And Hermione was certainly not helping herself. Harry was right, he had been caught in the middle.
heaving her bag... a look of maddening superiority.
Mrs Granger tutted. "If you've worked out what is wrong with your professor you would do well to keep it to yourself and not taunt your friends with your knowledge."
Hermione sighed. "I was fourteen."
"Fourteen or not, I thought I raised you better than that," Mrs Granger said.
"If you don't want to tell us, don't,"... "She's just trying to get us to talk to her again. "
Sirius sighed. When Harry needed his friends most, after finding out what he'd learned in the three broomsticks, they'd pretty much forgotten all about how he felt, they were so busy arguing.
At eight o'clock on Thursday evening... there's a cupboard under my desk he'll like. "
"Oh, now that is clever!" Albus said with fresh anticipation. He was concerned how well Harry would do in these lessons. The patronus was a very complex piece of magic and a small percentage of his core had been blocked at the time.
"Okay,"... good substitute for a real Dementor.
"It's okay to be nervous, Harry," Remus said softly. "Especially when facing your fears."
The mind healers all nodded in agreement.
"So. . . " Professor Lupin had taken out his own wand... a guardian that acts as a shield between you and the Dementor. "
"It's very difficult though," Remus said. "And it is dark magic so those with light cores tend to struggle more. Even with a grey core, at that age, you'd have struggled."
Harry had a sudden vision of himself ... Many qualified wizards have difficulty with it. "
Several people laughed at the idea of a Hagrid patronus but the youngerClaudius smiled. "You must really trust Hagrid, Harry."
"I do, yeah." Harry grinned at the half-giant.
"To be honest, I'd be amazed if you got any results at all before the end of the year," Remus said.
"What does a Patronus look like?"... Dursleys' was going to do.
Sirius scowled. He was still seriously considering murdering the Dursleys.
Finally, he settled on the moment when he had first ridden a broomstick.
"That won't work," Remus said gently.
"Right,"... "expecto patronum. "
Everyone leaned forward. Potter's patronus was almost as famous as he was, after his fifth year.
"Concentrating hard on your happy memory?"... it looked like a wisp of silvery gas.
"That's brilliant, Harry," Sirius said.
"Did you see that?"... moving into the middle of the deserted classroom.
Several people looked apprehensive. Sirius took Harry's hand in his.
He tried to keep his mind on flying... or did he?
"It's understandable if you did," Claudius said. "It was the first time you heard her voice after all."
Severus blinked, forcing tears away. He hated this. Harry should have grown up knowing his mum's voice and it was all his fault he hadn't. Well, almost all his fault. Even if the young man himself seemed to think otherwise.
Lupin grasped the lid... A wave of piercing cold broke over him -
Harry closed his eyes. He didn't want to remember this. He wished he could just block it out and never think about it again.
"Expecto patronum!"... stand aside, girl -"
A couple of the witches blew their noses.
"Harry!"... sweat trickling down behind his glasses.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Sirius murmured.
"Are you all right?"... in fact, I would have been astounded if you had. "
Remus nodded his agreement and Madam Pomfrey was relieved he'd been given some chocolate.
"It's getting worse,"... I will more than understand -"
"I couldn't just give up!" Harry said.
"I do!" said Harry fiercely... If we lose this game we've lost the Quidditch Cup!"
"There are more important things than Quidditch!" Hermione said but several people - basically everyone who played quidditch - glared at her.
"All right then... That one doesn't seem to have been strong enough. . . "
Claudius frowned. Harry was at a real disadvantage here. Not only was it dark magic, his core was partially blocked and he had a very limited number of happy memories.
Harry thought hard... definitely qualified as very happy.
Remus sighed. That wouldn't work either.
He gripped his wand tightly again... Expecto Pat -"
"He shouldn't be doing this," Mrs Weasley cried. "It's too advanced."
White fog obscured his senses... I'll hold him off -"
Several people gasped. "You heard James?" Sirius asked, tears in his eyes now. It was awful hearing his best friend - his brother's - last moments. He could only imagine how difficult it had been for Harry.
The sounds of someone stumbling... to give my mum time to run for it. . . "
Sirius wondered if Remus would finally tell Harry that he knew his parents.
Harry suddenly realized... so that Lupin wouldn't see.
Multiple people in the chamber were crying now.
"You heard James?"... you didn't know my dad, did you?"
Sirius sat forward.
"I - I did, as a matter of fact," said Lupin.
"Why didn't you tell me before then?" Harry asked Remus even though he knew he probably couldn't answer. It had always been something that bothered Harry. People never told him anything. But he'd have expected his parents friends to tell him about them. Or at the very least admit to knowing them.
"I'm not sure," Remus admitted. "Perhaps because I thought you were safer away from me. What with me being a werewolf. I might have thought I couldn't be the stable influence you needed in your life - coming to work at Hogwarts would have been a dream come true. I imagine I was waiting for it all to just disappear."
Remus couldn't help but feel disappointed in his older self. He'd allowed his own fears to affect a relationship with the last of his family - his cub.
"We were friends at Hogwarts... he didn't know what was. . .
Remus looked unconvinced but he hoped Harry was right.
Concentrating very hard on how he had felt... though for how much longer, he wasn't sure. . .
The entire chamber erupted with cheers. "That's amazing Harry!" several people shouted all at once.
"Riddikulus!"... "Excellent, Harry! That was definitely a start!"
"Better than I'd have expected from a third year," Remus said. "Better than I'd have expected from a seventh year too for that matter."
"Can we have another go?... He handed Harry a large bar of Honeydukes' best chocolate.
Madam Pomfrey smiled. She was glad Remus hadn't given in. Casting new spells like that was draining on the core. Not to mention that this particular lesson had been emotionally taxing too.
"Eat the lot, or Madam Pomfrey will be after my blood.
Poppy nodded. He wasn't wrong.
Same time next week?"... "What gives you that idea?" he said sharply.
Sirius chuckled as Remus gave him an apologetic grimace.
"Nothing... Harry, it's getting late. "
"That's it?" Sirius looked disappointed. Where was the uncle nephew bonding he'd been looking forward to? Remus had doted on Harry as a baby.
Remus sighed. Yes. He was very disappointed with his older self. He promised himself that he would do better this time.
Harry left the classroom... even though he was so full of chocolate.
"That's to be expected," young Poppy said.
Terrible though it was to hear his parents' last moments... if he half wanted to hear his parents again . . .
Albus sighed. What a horrible choice to have to make.
"They're dead,"... if you want that Quidditch Cup. "
They all tried not to stare at Harry. He wouldn't appreciate that. But they couldn't believe how hard this had been for him and yet he never complained about any of it.
He stood up... Harry had just one night a week to do all his homework.
"That is not sufficient," Minerva said crossly, glaring at Oliver again.
Even so, he was not showing the strain... snapped when she was interrupted.
"So, it wasn't just that you weren't talking to her?" Sirius asked.
"No. I tried a couple of times," Harry said with a shrug. "I didn't try particularly hard though. I could have tried harder."
"How's she doing it?"... she's never missed one of them either!"
Bill chuckled. He still didn't understand why Hermione hadn't just told her friends. Sure, you weren't really supposed to but everyone did.
Harry didn't have time... this time by Wood.
Minerva tutted loudly.
"Bad news, Harry... Told me I'd got my priorities wrong.
"You think," George said, rolling his eyes.
Seemed to think... as long as you caught the Snitch first."
Oliver's eyes widened. "Did I really say that? I didn't actually mean it."
Harry shook him off. He wasn't bothered by it. He understood what he meant. He just wanted to win. Harry had felt the same way.
Wood shook his head in disbelief... Malfoy thinks is good," said Harry flatly.
Draco looked momentarily offended. His broom was brilliant, thank you very much. It might not be a firebolt but it was still an exceptional broom.
January faded imperceptibly into February... Now, please stop badgering me. "
"In fairness, you did tell him you'd keep him informed," Sirius said. "Did you?"
"What?" Minerva asked.
"Keep him informed," Sirius said. "Did you walk him through what you would test for and how you would do it? What the risks were to the broom, any damage that could be caused?"
"No. I did not," Minerva admitted.
"Then I think he had good grounds to badger you," Sirius said pointedly.
To make matters even worse... guilty about his secret desire to hear his parents' voices again.
"Nothing to feel guilty about," Sirius murmured.
"You're expecting too much of yourself,"... You aren't passing out anymore, are you?"
Everyone in the chamber seemed to agree with this assessment.
"I thought a Patronus would... long enough to get back to the ground. "
"Which is what matters most," Minerva said pointedly to Wood.
"You said it's harder... "Yeah, I like that stuff!"
Sirius hit himself on the head. "You're not very good at keeping secrets, Harry."
Lupin raised an eyebrow... back from Hogsmeade," Harry lied quickly.
Severus laughed. No one would believe that. While it wasn't impossible, the lie was obvious in the delivery.
"I see,"... "What's under a Dementor's hood?"
"You don't want to know," Amos said softly. He felt for the boy. He'd been unkind to him. Hadn't actually appreciated what had happened during the match or how hard he worked to overcome it. He was made of strong stuff, Harry Potter.
Professor Lupin lowered his bottle... and suck out his soul. "
Someone actually screamed and both pairs of Grangers looked ready to vomit. "You allowed my daughter near soul sucking monsters for a whole year?"
The teachers frowned. It wasn't like they wanted the dementors at the school. "It was the ministry's decision."
"That better not happen again," Mr Granger said. "I'm sure it won't be too difficult to get a wizard lawyer to take a case for child endangerment - even if I'm a muggle."
Lucius grinned. "I'd happily represent you, Mr Granger."
"Thank you, Lord Malfoy," the man said with a nod.
Harry accidentally spat out... And your soul is gone forever. . . lost. "
Everyone stayed quiet. No one quite knew what to say.
Lupin drank a little more butterbeer... "He deserves it," he said suddenly.
Harry couldn't meet his godfather's eye. He was surprised when the man released his hand only to pull him into a hug. "It's okay, Harry. I understand."
"You think so?"... for some things. . . "
The people in the chamber considered that. Did anyone deserve the kiss?
He would have liked to have told Lupin... wouldn't be very impressed by that.
"I'd still have listened," Remus said with a sigh. The boy had clearly needed an adult to talk to.
So he finished his butterbeer... you've got a very good friend somewhere, Potter. . . "
Everyone grinned. Harry had his broom back!
Harry's jaw dropped... it looked as magnificent as ever.
"See, we didn't damage it," Flitwick said. "While I admit we should have considered speaking to the manufacturer."
"I can have it back?"... as Professor Snape was kind enough to remind me only last night. . . "
Severus grinned at that. He enjoyed his little quidditch rivalry with Minerva.
Speechless, Harry carried the Firebolt... Tomorrow?"
Sirius rolled his eyes. It was easy to guess who that was.
"Yeah. . . She was only trying to help. . . "
Sirius looked approvingly at Harry.
"Yeah, all right,"... "But I must've dropped them somewhere!"
"Wait!" Minerva said. "You warned the portrait that you'd lost the passwords?"
Neville nodded.
"I'm sorry, Mr Longbottom," Minerva said. "If I'd known that I probably wouldn't have been quite so angry with you. The portrait should have recognised the security breech."
"A likely tale!"... now I don't know what I've done with them!"
"So you all knew about the missing passwords?" Minerva asked with a sigh.
"Neville was always losing something," Ron said. "Thought it was in the dorm somewhere."
"Oddsbodkins,"... and at last, she looked up.
Sirius smiled. Harry was a good boy.
"I got it back,"... "I mean, at least you know now that it's safe!"
"She's not wrong," Remus said softly and Harry nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, I suppose so," ... she looked almost as tired as Lupin.
Hermione's parents frowned at that. They understood how much their daughter loved to learn but she shouldn't do it at the expense of her health.
"Why don't you just drop... "It's my favorite subject! It's --"
Harry smiled. Hermione was so weird. He couldn't imagine enjoying arithmancy.
But exactly what was wonderful about Arithmancy... shaking the sheets in her face.
Sirius sighed. So much for making up.
"Ron, what... ginger cat hairs.
"Oh, dear," Mrs Granger said.
"Did he fake his own death again?" Sirius asked suspiciously.
"I guess that's us finished for the day," Remus said. "It's nearly time for dinner."
Harry frowned. They were having their history class today.