(04) Finishing Conversations
The morning sunlight filtered through the windows of Hotch’s house, casting a warm glow over the kitchen. The scent of freshly brewed coffee lingered in the air as Spencer sat across from Hotch at the breakfast table, absently stirring a spoon through his scrambled eggs.
Jack was with Hailey until later that afternoon, leaving the two men alone in the quiet house. Spencer had barely touched his food, a sure sign that his mind was elsewhere. Hotch, ever observant, let him sit in silence for a few minutes before deciding he couldn’t wait any longer.
“Spencer,” Hotch said, setting his coffee cup down. “I need to ask you about Z.”
Spencer’s fork hesitated mid-air before he placed it back on his plate. He let out a slow breath, rubbing the back of his neck. “Hotch, I—” He sighed. “There are things I can’t say. Not because I don’t trust you, but because it’s not my place to say them.”
Hotch nodded, unsurprised but still slightly frustrated. “I understand that. And I won’t push you to betray that trust.” He hesitated before adding, “But I would like to know if you’ve heard from them. If they’re safe.”
Spencer’s expression darkened slightly as he shook his head. “I haven’t.”
Hotch’s face hardened in immediate concern. “You—Wait, Spencer, you don’t know if they’re okay?”
Spencer sighed again, but this time there was an edge of resignation to it. “I would love to tell you that this is unusual, but it happens more often than I’d like to admit.”
Hotch stared at him, horrified. “Spencer, that’s—” He stopped himself, unsure of how to phrase his concern without making it sound like he was doubting Spencer’s choices.
Spencer gave him a small, understanding smile. “I know how it sounds, Hotch. But I promise you, I’m fine. Worried, yes, but fine. What Z does is dangerous, but so is my job. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to wait, and it won’t be the last.”
Hotch still didn’t look convinced, concern evident in the way his brows furrowed. “That kind of stress—combined with the stress we get from our job—it's not something anyone could live with.”
Spencer shrugged slightly. “Z started working dangerous jobs long before I did. We had time to talk through everything, to adjust, to prepare ourselves for these kinds of situations. It’s not easy, but it’s what we do.”
Hotch studied him carefully, then finally gave a small nod. “I admire the way you look at it. But still, it must be hard. Look how Hailey and I ended up and I was the only one working a dangerous job.”
Spencer smiled, a flicker of appreciation crossing his face. “It is. But I trust Z. And I know they’ll reach out as soon as they can.”
Hotch leaned back in his chair, considering his next words carefully. “I’d love to meet them one day. Someone this important to you—I’d like to know them, when you’re both ready.”
Spencer’s smile softened. “You’re first on my list of people to introduce Z to. But right now… they’re going through something personal, and with their injuries from the last job, I don’t know when that will happen.”
Hotch nodded again, this time more slowly. “I get it. Don't worry, I won’t push. But whenever the time comes, I’ll be here.”
Spencer gave him a grateful look, picking up his fork again. “Thanks, Hotch.”
Hotch simply lifted his coffee cup in response, taking a sip as the morning sun continued to warm the quiet space between them.