The space in-between

Two chapters on the shorter side. If you’re still reading this thank you so much. I’m trying my best.

If you’re going to make me a piece in your game, don’t be surprised if I decide to play.
-Unknown

——-

I spent the next few weeks perfecting everything. I needed it to be perfect. I was so nervous I could bring myself to eat on the day of the Yule ball. While I was plotting Fred was spending his time with Angelina. I broke a glass at dinner at the sight of them. He keeps looking at me anytime he’s with her and will just smirk.

He would lose that smirk anytime I did anything with luican. Even leaning towards him would send Fred into anger. We were playing cat and mouse, right now he thinks he’s the cat. I planned for all that to change tonight. I spent weeks on Lucian and my outfits.

My dress was all black that was covered with sparkles making me look like the night sky. It was tight with a low cut corset top. The skirt flowed down with a long slit down the side. It was so fitted at the top the slit exposed my whole right leg. A silver snake wrapped around my leg, the head resting against my thigh. I wore long black gloves with silver and diamond jewelry. I was all black and silver. My blonde hair curled and pulled back into a bun while keeping my bangs out. There were so many curls that fell loose. Even my makeup was black and silver. I was going for a siren or snake look. The only color on me was a deep red lipstick. It was the exact shade of red as Fred’s hair.

I smiled at myself in the mirror. The smile was devilish. Prepare yourself Fred Weasley. I'm coming for you. I thought to myself before leaving.

I left the bathroom and headed towards the great hall. I got a few gasps as I walked by. I was a bundle of nerves on the inside. But on the outside I was acting aloof like I couldn’t really care. my walk was more of a strut.

The doors to the great hall were wide open giving them a full view of me as I walked down the stairs. Luican spotted me immediately. He stopped frozen as he stared at me. He was in all black with silver accents everywhere. Little snakes were everywhere from his cuffs to his earrings. He caught his bearings before heading towards me. I continued to look around until my eyes rested on him. Fred had one of his arms draped over Angelina’s shoulder. He was saying something to her by whispering in her ear. Once he caught sight of me he stopped completely. He blinked a few times looking me up and down slowly. I tried to ignore what him just looking at me was doing to me. He looked good in his black dress robes. They weren’t fancy but he could probably make rags look good. I pulled my chin up. He started scrambling towards me. He left Angelina calling after him. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Lucian reach my side. He took my hand and I let him. I watched Fred visibly shake. I smirked looking away.

“Wow Audrey you look… beyond words really. Breathtakingly gorgeous.” Lucian said to me. I smiled at him.

“Thank you Lucian.” He walked over to where Maddie and Noah stood. Both had their mouths open.

“Oh wow ok! I thought there was no way you would pull this off when I saw those sketches. But you did so much better.” Maddie said, walking a circle around me. She was wearing a really cute light dress. It was short with puffy sleeves that hung off the shoulders. Her hair was straightened and hung down her back. It was clipped back in the front. Her makeup was light and playful.

“Thank you Maddie. You look so pretty!” We hugged each other. Noah hugged around us both.

“Guys share the love!” He cried. I pulled away and looked at him. I remembered the first time I met him. Noah is two years younger than me. He was sitting by himself down by the lake. He was crying and I remember his black hair being in his eyes. His little boy face made me sit with him. I told him as long as I would be around he wouldn’t be alone. We both grew up without siblings and in a way he’s become my brother. So as I looked at him now my heart couldn’t help at squeezing, he looked so grown up. He was wearing all black dress robes. He added a light blue bow tie and his normal dangling earrings.

“Oh of course! you look so handsome Noah!” I said. His green eyes sparkled and he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Thanks Aubrey, how about we dance?” He asked us.

“Great idea Noah. Audrey, can I have the pleasure of the first dance?” Lucian asked, holding his hand out to me. I took it as he led me to the dance floor. He twirled me around on the dance floor and I couldn’t help but laugh.

I caught sight of Fred. He was standing by the punch bowl. Angelina was talking to George next to her. She was also pretty in her deep purple dress. I didn’t hate her because I knew Fred only asked her to get back at me. I felt bad for her. Fred's focus was on me just where I wanted it.

I danced with as many people as I could. It was mostly with other slytherins. I danced the most with my friends. Finally I broke away and made my way to the refreshments. I made sure I was alone. I started to take a drink when he made it to me. I turned and looked at him.

“Yes, Fred?” I said in the fakest sweetest voice I could muster.

“Oh you're too good.” He looked down at me. He looked pissed before then pained as he stared at me. I fluttered my eyelashes at him.

“I don’t know what you mean.” I smiled a little. I looked around the room and noticed the teachers slipping out. Peeves was doing his job then, perfect!

“Would you like to dance, Fred?” I said, holding out my hand.

He looked at it for a second before taking it. I pulled him to the middle of the room. I saw the confused looks from my friends. I ignored them.

“I never really responded to your confession.” I stared up into his eyes. He opened his mouth but I shook my head.

“I would have said similar things but things…. escalated quickly. I would have said that I only wanted you.” I continued. His hands tightened on mine. His breathing was starting to slow down like he kept forgetting to breathe.

“But then you assumed the worst the next morning without even trying to work things out. Without letting me tell you everything, without letting me fix it. You just tried to get back at me for something you felt I did wrong. So now the only thing I’ve wanted is revenge.” I finished still looking up at him. We weren’t dancing anymore. Just standing in the middle of the room. Everyone was staring at us. I dropped my hands and stepped back. His mouth stood slightly agape.

I had my wand out before he could move. With the flick of my wand a bucket came down from the rafters and dumped its contents on his head. Another one followed for George. George started cussing but Fred stood there completely still. I walked back up to him leaning close.

“And so the king of pranks falls.” I said. I turned and started walking away. Peeves busted into the room and dumped a bunch of the same slime on people. The professors busted in after him.

“PEEVES That’s enough!” McGonagall called. It was the perfect cover up. When I told Peeves my prank he was all over it. He was the only one that knew. He laughed before flying away.

Before I got to my friends I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see my father staring at me. I gulped as he pulled me to the side.

“Audrey, what are you wearing?” He looked so angry.

“A dress, this is a ball after all.” I responded kinda shrinking into myself. I smiled nervously.

“I hope you know I also saw your little stunt just now.” He said shooting daggers at me.

“Just adding a little flavor to their lives.” I said sweetly. He shook his head.

“It’s a shame you weren’t in Slytherin. because of your inability to let anything go and do anything for revenge, Is such Slytherin behavior. But it’s with the boldness to enact your revenge in the middle of a huge school function that makes you a gryffindor.” He rolled his eyes at me.
“Now follow those boys and apologize.” He push me towards the door.

I looked back at my friends and waved at them. They started towards me. I shook my head and pointed to my dad. They stopped and I made my way up to the common room.

He wasn't there. I knew he wouldn’t be but I hoped. I ran up the stairs on the boy's side and caught him right before he went into the bathroom. I called out his name making him turn and look at me. Something I didn’t quite catch flashed in his eyes. His expression turned sour before he turned and went into the bathroom. I followed him in.

“Wait, let me just say something.” I held my hands up.

“Why haven’t you said enough.” He didn’t even look at me. He started messing with the water. I used my wand to get the slime off of him.

“I’m sorry, I let anger get the best of me. That’s all I wanted.” I turned to leave.

“Sorry? You're sorry? That must have taken a while to figure out and I’m not talking about the actual prank anyone could have done that. I’m talking about where you did it. A little ballsy, the Yule ball. And getting peeves involved now that is impressive.” He started stalking towards me.
“No, someone who's sorry wouldn’t go to those lengths. And this dress!” He stood in front of me now I had taken a few steps back. I was pressed against the sink.
“This dress was worse than anything else you could have done to me. Do you want me to grovel? Beg even? Because I would have. I was ready to do anything to tear it off of you.”

He reached up and grabbed a strap. Ripping it. My breathing got heavy.

“I’ve had to watch him touch you all night, while you wore this.” His hands roamed down my body, his breath catching. “This cruel punishment. I don’t think your sorry at all. I think you wanted me this flustered.” He leaned down to my ear. He still had an angry look but it was also desperate.
“As you said the king has fallen. Now I’m on my knees, what are you going to do?”

I looked up at him desperately. On one hand he made me so angry constantly. And Yet nobody made me feel the way he did. I knew that we were too toxic for each other but I needed him so bad. My mind went back and forth with itself. One last time I told myself. He started to pull away when I grabbed him, pulling him to me.

I kissed him with a longing desperation. He kissed me with anger and fury. He bit my bottom lip and I let his tongue into my mouth. His hands roamed every inch of my body he could reach. I pulled him as close as possible. He grabbed my waist pulling me up and setting me down on the sink. He pushed my legs apart to stand in between them. It wasn’t made for this kind of movement so it ripped up the slit seam. He started to kiss down my chin to my neck. I moved my hands to rest in his hair. I looked up at the ceiling, I felt tears slipping down my cheeks. I pulled on his hair, getting a groan from him.

I couldn't stop crying, I was going to break his heart. I had already broken mine. Kissing him was a mistake. I was only cutting our wounds deeper.
He kissed my mouth again. He gripped my thigh pulling my legs around him. I held on not wanting to ruin this for him. He reached up and cupped my face. He stopped immediately and looked at me. At the same moment George walked into the bathroom.

“What’s going on here?” George raised his eyebrows. Fred looked at me, realization spreading across his features.

“I could ask the same.” He stared at me, his hand still cupping my cheek. Silent tears continued to fall.

“I’m so sorry Fred. I can’t do this.” He started shaking his head. “We keep hurting each other. That’s not healthy. You deserve better then-“ I choked on my words. He started backing up and my hands fell into my lap.

“We are even now.” I said hopped down. I walked to the door before turning to look at him. My heart squeezed in my chest. He stood there in his dirty dress robes. His lips swollen and face red. He didn’t look at me.

“Goodbye Fred Weasley.” I could barely make out the words. I turned and exited the room, the door swinging shut behind me.

I leaned against the wall. I quickly used magic to fix my dress. I heard a mirror shatter behind me. I flinch hard. I made it back to my room as quickly as possible. I changed and magically cleared my makeup away.

I got into bed and cried. We weren’t even together. Why was I acting like this? I’m not going to let myself be hurt like this. I would give myself tonight to grieve, what could have been, then I would forget Fred Weasley.

——-

Things changed as the weeks went by. The gryffindors seemed to kinda relax around me. Or they stopped calling me names and giving snide comments. It was nice. A month after the Yule ball luican and I started dating. I felt guilty about it and if I’m being honest it’s just a distraction from Fred. Fred and I hadn’t spoken sense the night of the Yule ball. I do catch him staring at me sometimes. Unfortunately he also catches me, I try not to even look at him but I can’t help it.

I pretend to be normal, but it doesn’t fool them, Lucian or Fred. I felt like I was stumbling blind down a corridor. I don’t know why it doesn’t make sense. It would be easier if I chose the right options. If I did the right things. If only I could let go of all the pettiness inside me. I might be happier, I could learn to be who they wanted me to be. If only.

I fear I may never learn who I am.