House Of Cards
Another week down. Hope 2024 has been treating you right. Lord knows it hasn’t for me, different year same depression, lol. Anyhoos here’s another chapter for ya! Foreshadow city ahead.
How long can you chase a dream before it becomes a nightmare?
-unknown
——-
The second task came and went. It wasn’t until one warm day in early June that I encountered Fred alone.
I was sitting down by the lake. I was doing some homework when I heard them talking. I was wedged in between some rocks with a tree hanging pretty low. I was probably completely hidden from most angles. Fred and George were standing by the waters edge talking to a random man I’ve never seen before.
“Please tell us you have any information.” George said. There was anger in his tone.
“I do have some news. Bagman has been a tricky bastard. He’s locked himself up so good I couldn't get to him. But I got some news from the ministry this morning. Ludo is going to be a judge at the third task.” The man smiled.
“That’s brilliant!” Fred cried, clapping his brother on the back.
“You two better not let him get away once you have him.” The man pointed at them.
“Don’t worry that bastard isn’t going anywhere. He owes us a lot of money.” George replied.
“Yes, well he owes a lot of people a lot of money.” With that the man walked away.
Fred and George turned to each other smiling. They both looked relieved. It wasn’t the first time I noticed the dark circles under their eyes. They both looked tired and worn down.
“We might actually have a chance to open the store now Freddie.” George said.
“We might, let’s not get our hopes up. First we gotta catch the fucker.” Fred said. He turned to look out at the lake.
“Right, well I’ll see you later then. I’ve still got that date with Angelina.” George replied. When did those two become a thing? I must have missed that at some point. Fred only nodded to his brother. George left, leaving Fred alone.
He stood facing the water and stared into it for a minute. He turned and looked around. I ducked my head hoping he didn’t see me. I wasn’t trying to spy on him. I just couldn’t help myself from looking at him.
“What are you doing here?” His voice rang out. I looked up from the books I was looking at. He looked angry.
“I uh, I’m doing schoolwork.” I gestured at the books around me.
“Down by the lake?” He gave me a dubious look.
“Yes I like to study down here. It’s peaceful and nobody ever comes down here.”
I held my chin up. Usually nobody comes down here. Apparently I just had bad luck.
“Doesn’t matter, what you heard-“ I cut him off.
“I’m not going to say anything to anyone, I’m not that type of person.”
We looked at each other for a minute. He shrugged and pulled himself into the rocks. He stretched his legs out. He covered the entire area. His feet pressed against one rock and his back on the other. He laid his head back against the rock and closed his eyes. I watched him for a couple seconds before turning back to my work.
We sat like that for a while. I worked keeping my eyes on the pages. I noticed him looking at me from my peripheral vision. I couldn’t help the heat creep up my neck and face. My hand trembled a bit as I dipped my quill into some ink.
“Don’t!” He said softly. I looked up at him in surprise. I gave him a puzzled look.
“Don’t act like I affect you.” He looked pained. I looked down slightly embarrassed.
“The problem is you affect me too much.” I said back in a whisper. This is why I had avoided him like the plague. Once I was near him I remembered what it was like to be in his arms with his lips on mine. It was impossible to think near him. He sucked in a breath at my words. I set my quill down and hugged my knees to my chest. My robes piled around me.
“Why then?” There was a bit of desperation in his voice. I wanted to touch him so bad. To put my hand on his face and tell him everything would be ok. I bit the inside of my lip and gripped my knees tighter.
“Why what?” I looked towards the wall. Away from him.
“Why break our hearts?” He pushed his hands through his hair. “If I affect you a lot assuming that it is the same amount you affect me. Why ignore it? Why start dating luican? I see you two together, I see that way you react to him. You shift away, you will look at him and realize who he is and flinch. I’ve seen it, Audrey. It’s been driving me mad. I thought after the Yule ball I would be able to move on. It’s only gotten worse. Especially watching the way you react to him vs me.” He was breathing hard but his voice remained level.
“I don’t know why, ok. I had thought I made the right decision. That it would be easier, healthier, that we both would be happier. Like the way it was before.” I still refused to look at him.
“You never even gave it a chance. We both made mistakes mostly on my part. There is no going back, not now..” he took another deep breath.
“Up until the moment George said we should use the swamp on you, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. More specifically after you slapped me.”
I smiled thinking about it now. I finally looked at him. His hair had grown out a bit, it curled around his ears now. I should have told him that I didn’t feel the same way so he could actually move on. It wasn’t fair, I wasn’t being fair.
“For me it was detention. I couldn’t stop thinking about you after that day.” He shuffled closer. He held out his hand. I reached out to take it but drew it back.
“I can’t. I’m with Lucian now.” I pleaded with my eyes.
“Just answer this one question.” He set his hand back into his lap. “Do you want to be with him?”
I looked away. I'd been honest with him when I shouldn’t have been. I should lie now. Set things right. Tell him I’d moved on. Those were my feelings but not anymore. I should have said those things but I couldn’t. I looked back staring into his eyes.
“No, I don’t.” He sucked in a breath. His eyes widened. I imagine he thought I would lie to him. “But it doesn’t change anything Fred. I’m so sorry.” I looked down at my hands. There were some ink stains but mostly they were soft and delicate.
“Well I’m not giving up. There is no possible reason for us to feel this way and not be together.”
He was right, always so right. Maybe that was the problem. It was too much. We were a blazing wildfire together. He was exciting and violently himself. He never hid who he was. When I’m with him I want to burn as bright. To stand next to him is like standing in the sun. But I was his opposite. If he was fire, I would be ice. Winter and summer. I mean everyone already calls me a stone cold bitch. I’m mean and lash out constantly. I even turned my back on my own house. I hated everything gryffindor and he was everything gryffindor was. It was hard being an introvert in gryffindor.
Yet, and yet we were the same. Bold, honest, emotional, intelligent. Our bodies fit perfectly together. That’s what hurts, is when I focused on how we would work. Thinking about how well our lips fit together. He makes me feel things no one else has. It’s easier to deal with the negatives. I can rationalize my feelings when I’m thinking that way. Right now I’m teetering on the edge. If I let myself go and fall completely for him I’ll only get hurt when that fire goes out.
“Please fred, please don’t.” I stared into his eyes.
“I have to, I’m also sorry but I can’t give you up.” This time he had the pleading look. I sighed, rubbing my eyes with the palm of my hands.
We were super close in this space. We stared at each other. I studied him like I would never see him again.
When the sun started to set I realized just how much time had passed. I packed up my school stuff. We shuffled out of the little space. As soon as he wasn’t blocking me I rushed away from him.
“I’ll see you later Audrey!” He called after me.
I rushed up to the castle. I stopped and leaned against the wall, trying to breathe. I started walking. Maybe all of this will be trivial and one day I will think I was ridiculous but right now I felt like I was falling apart.
I walked into the great hall feeling nauseated. I sat next to Lucian who put his arm around me kissing my cheek.
“How did your studying go?” He asked, leaning his head to the side. He brushed a bit of my pale hair out of my face.
“Good, I got a lot done.” It wasn’t a lie I just hadn’t gotten as much done as I hoped I would. He shook his head, smiling softly.
“You work too hard. You should have been in ravenclaw.” He said to me. Noah pointed his finger in our direction.
“Maybe not. We might be known to be studious but it’s a curse actually. Me and a few ravenclaws sat in the common room last night researching snidets. We had an argument about it that led to a four hour long research session. Not for homework just to prove who was right.” He glared at the ravenclaw table.
“Who won the argument?” Maddie asked.
“That's the thing no one won because we forgot what we were even arguing about.” He said between bites of food.
“Then it really was all for nothing.” Maddie said leaning back.
“Everything is for something.” Noah said back.
“Not sure what that even means.” Maddie flicked him.
I shook my head as they argued the importance of the study session. I picked through some food without really eating anything.
Luican still had his arm around me. I leaned into him. With the sickening thought that I wished it was Fred I stood up.
“I’m off to bed. See you tomorrow.” I waved to them before hurrying away.
I looked down as I ran out the great hall doors. I turned towards the grand staircase.
I ran straight into Draco. We both stumbled back. He grabbed a hold of me to steady us.
“Oh hey Draco, I guess I should pay more attention.” I laughed a little unsteadily.
“It’s alright Audrey. What’s the rush for?” He asked me. His hair was slightly in his face.
“Just tired, have a good dinner.” I patted his shoulder as I passed. He turned and watched me go.
—
That night I had a weird dream.
I stood on an empty dirt road. It was a clear day, not a cloud in sight. I could hear bugs buzzing in the distance. Nothing for miles in any direction, just empty fields and this lonely stretch of road.
The sun beat down on my skin. I could feel the heat burning me. I looked down at myself. Plain blue shirt and shorts. My sneakers were untied but I didn’t reach out to tie them.
I looked around some more before heading forward. The road was long and felt never ending. My shoes continued to kick up dirt as I shuffled along. The scenery never changed but continued its emptiness.
I was covered in sweat as I walked along. The sun steady in its assault on me. Desperate for any change I started running. I ran until my lungs burned than I ran some more. I ran until my legs gave out. I went crashing to the ground. I could feel the rocks digging into my hands and knees. It hurt. I pushed myself to my feet slowly.
As I looked up everything was different. It was night and the road was now forked. I stood in the crossroads staring. It was silent. Completely different from the hum of bugs earlier.
It wasn’t reassuring, it made me want to scream. I tried to look behind me but couldn’t. The only way out is forward. Both paths looked the same. Silent dark dirt road. I took a step forward then another. Until I was walking a path.
Walking again down a nothing road to nowhere. Until I came back to the same crossroads as before. I stopped looking around.
Everything is the same down to the blood on the ground where I fell. I start towards the other path.
It’s the same.
I end up back at the crossroads. The silence, it is driving me mad. The road is making me mad. I scream into void.
It doesn’t answer back.
I start running again. Back again. Back again. The same road, same eerie silence. I fall over and over again. My knees and hands are shredded. I scream and scream. No answer.
All at once or maybe not, but paths are all around me. In the middle I kneel. I can’t see what any of the paths lead to anymore. A thick fog replaces the endless fields. I’m not sure which is worse. I feel claustrophobic.
I continue to scream into nothing.
The void continues to not answer.
—
I woke up to someone shaking me. I was covered in sweat. The blankets on my bed were kicked off and thrown to the side. I was freezing and hot all at the same time. My hair was stuck to my clammy skin. The dream was unsettling. I looked at the girl next to me. Concern written on her face. I saw the other girls also looking at me. Tips of wands lit up pointing in my direction.
“Are you alright? You were screaming.” Gwen, I think, said.
“Yes, I’m alright now.” I put my hand to my heart feeling my heart beat slow. My voice came out all wrong. It sounded like I had been screaming for hours. It was barely even there. Her frown only deepened.
“You kept saying something over and over again.” Her brows furrowed. “I’m not sure what it meant it wasn’t in English.” Gwen looked behind her.
One of the other girls cleared her throat, finding her voice.
“It was Latin, I’m certain.” She had a look of concentration as she formed the words. “Mors certa, hora incerta”
A feeling of cold dread crept down my body. Of course I understood what it meant. My father is a professor. He made me learn as many languages as he could manage. Latin, Greek, Gaelic even, gobbledegook, and any language a wizard might have used in ancient texts.
Mors certa, hora incerta. Death is certain, its hour is uncertain.
Of course weird dreams about crossroads would bring out cryptic Latin phrases.
I got out of bed, dressing quickly. The sun was just starting to come up. I threw my hair up into a ponytail as I pounded down the stairs. I ran through the corridors. I didn’t stop until I got to the divination classroom. A lot of witches and wizards didn’t believe in divination but I did. My parents raised me to believe it. I live in a world with magic. Anything is possible. I was halfway up the ladder when the door swung open. Professor Trelawney looked down at me.
“Come on up quickly.” She said before disappearing into the room.
The room looked the same it always did but weird in the early morning light. All soft purples and blues. A few candles came to life as I entered the room. I made my way to where Trelawney sat.
“I hope I’m not interrupting your sleep.” I said. It was to help me steady my breathing more than anything. My voice still sounded a little rough. She waved her hand. She was pouring some tea.
“Nonsense dear child, I’ve been waiting for you.” She placed a cup into front of me as I sat across from her. I drank it down to the dregs. I handed it back and she studied the cup.
“Tell me about your dream.” She said after setting the cup aside. I told it to her as I remembered it then what the girls told me after waking up. She nodded her head.
“Yes I see, Your tea leaves are also muddled. But what I can make out is that there will be great difficulties in your future.”
I sat back and looked at my hands.
“Everyone’s future is uncertain with difficulties. Why would it show me that now?” I looked up at her.
“I can’t tell you why, for I don’t know myself. The universe is a mystery and I am but her fickle servant.”
“I wish the universe wouldn’t be so cryptic.” I thought about the crossroads and running. “Read my tarot, two cards for each time slot.” I sat up and looked at her.
She got up and retrieved her tarot cards. She started shuffling them before she even sat down again.
She held them out to me and I picked the past first. I had no hesitation as I grabbed those. My hand shook on the present. I really concentrated when it came to the future. Closing my eyes, really feeling the cards. I opened them as she set them in front of me.
She flipped past first. The fool, it was facing up. I didn’t think too much about that, childhood innocence and recklessness filled my past.
The sun, upright. I had a happy childhood and despite not wanting Gryffindor I still had a lot of happy memories of hogwarts.
She flipped the present.
Two swords, upright. Difficult choices, indecision, stalemate. This card only confirms my dream. It only adds to the confusion which is ironic because that is what the card means.
The next one stopped us both in our tracks. Death. This card has so many meanings. But I couldn’t help stare at those letters. It could just mean the ending of something or literally death. It seemed to almost glow. It did go with the uncertainty and feeling of never turning back.
I cleared my throat, “next.”
Professor Trelawney turned over the last two cards. The first one fell from her hand landing sideways. Eight of swords, my heart fell further. I took it as a sigh that I would feel both sides of this card. Trapped, restricted, paralyzed, helpless, powerless, and imprisoned. What could this mean? I thought about the other side. Freedom, release, survivor, facing fears, and empowerment. How could I be trapped and free? I guess that was for future me to know.
I looked at the other card. I almost wished I hadn’t. Five of cups; Grief, loss, disappointment, sadness, discontent, and mourning.
My eyes shot to hers. Her lips were firmly pushed together forming a frown.
“I’m afraid for our future. Not just yours or mine but for everyone. I’ve been seeing similar things in everyone’s future. I’m afraid the wizarding world is going to see a lot of loss and pain in the near future.” She said, her eyes going glossy.
“Mors certa, hora incerta.” I said again. It felt like an omen.
She stared out the window. Thinking to herself.
“We can only hope Harry Potter is enough to save us all.” Her eyes remained glossy. Her hair was coming out of its braid. She looked back at my cards.
“I have a feeling these ones in the present are also for your future.” She frowned looking at them. We both pondered them. I got the urge to grab another card. I reached out before stopping myself.
“Go ahead Audrey, it’s calling to you.” She whispered.
I grabbed the card on top. It felt red hot in my hands. Nearly burning me. It is the nine of wands. She smiled at the sight.
“Ah there we go. Nine of wands, no matter the challenges you will make it through.” She nodded to herself.
Persistence, grit, resilience, and perseverance. Things to get me through. This card is a representation of my past, present, and future. Meaning no matter the situation I can make it through to the next one.
“I can only hope it’s enough if my reading is right.” I looked at the card praying it’s enough.
“Keep it, as a reminder.”
“Are you sure?” I looked up at her sharply. She looked tired suddenly.
“Yes I’m quite sure. It chose you.” She got up and moved to stand next to the window. I got up also. putting the card into my pocket I moved to stand next to the exit.
“Thank you professor.”
She didn’t say anything as I left. How do you respond back after telling someone that they are going to suffer in the future? I wouldn’t know what to say.