Chapter 11
Narcissa Malfoy
Draco,
Is it true that the Contraception Potion is absolutely safe? Would you notice, if it was brewed incorrectly? Would the taste be different or the colour?
Love,
Your Mother
Mother,
It depends. If brewed correctly, it is indeed absolutely safe, but some mistakes cannot be seen or tasted from the finished potion. For example, if the amount of dandelion root powder differs only slightly from the recipe, the potion becomes less effective. It’s not completely useless, but there’s still a possibility of conception, even if it’s small. Is that a theoretical question or did one of you screw it up?
Love,
Draco
„What are you thinking about, love?” Narcissa looked up from Draco’s letter and at her husband, who sat down next to her. “What is it? You’ve been so quiet lately.” His voice was gentle and she heard the concern.
It was time to tell him. It was the second time her monthly bleeding hadn’t set in. It was usually quite regular and there were other symptoms, too. The occasional sickness, not as often as with Draco, but still. And her breasts felt more sensitive. All in all, she was quite sure. Which one of them had, as Draco had put it, screwed the potion up, was hard to tell. They both lacked their son’s talent and dedication when it came to brewing and they both had prepared the potion since they had been under house arrest.
They usually bought it, but other than Draco they were not allowed to receive packages. They had been able to order Christmas gifts per letter and had them send directly to their recipients and they were allowed to send packages, like the food the house elves still insisted to send to Draco or the book Lucius sent to Hermione, but the only things that got into the Manor was the food the house elves were allowed to buy once a week and letters. No papers, no magazines, and no packages, except for things that had been in the Manor before, like when Hermione had sent the book back.
It was an additional punishment and the only reason this did not apply to Draco was that such spells couldn’t be laid on Hogwarts without applying to the students as well.
Luckily, Draco had a very well-equipped potions lab and they had used it. She had thought they had done well. As far as she had been able to tell, the potion had been the same as when they had bought it, in smell, taste and colour.
“I need you to stay calm.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “You are making it sound pretty bad. It can’t be about Draco, I just got a letter from him.”
“It’s not about Draco. He’s fine.” Small mercies.
“So? You are not ill, are you? I’m sure Shacklebolt would send a healer, if necessary.”
“I’m not ill, but a healer would not be a bad idea.” She took a deep breath. Lucius would blame himself, she knew that. Her first pregnancy had been hard and she had almost died giving birth to her son. The healers had predicted that it was unlikely that further pregnancies would be easier. While many men of Lucius’ status would have cared less about her health and safety and more about having more children, Lucius had, even while holding Draco for the first time, stated that he was perfect and he would be enough. He wouldn’t risk losing her for the sake of having more children and while it had made her a little sad that Draco would never have a sibling, she had been and still was grateful that he had never changed his mind about that. There had never been any indication that one child wasn’t enough for him, there had been no direct or subtle blame. Other than his own father, Lucius had loved his son and had never been anything but a good father and husband. Even when their past mistakes had caught up with them during the Second War, Lucius’ only focus had been to keep them safe.
That was why it had been so hard for him to let Draco go when he had clearly not been doing well after the War. And it would be hard for him that his wife’s life would be at risk and keeping her safe would be out of his control.
But he had to know, he would soon notice on his own.
“I’m rather sure I’m pregnant.”
As expected, he froze.
“It was one of the potions I prepared, so don’t even start blaming yourself.” She didn’t think that was true, although she couldn’t be sure. It didn’t matter. He would never have done it on purpose and she did not want him to blame himself more than he already would.
“I’ll write to Shacklebolt immediately. How far are you along?”
“Around two months.”
“It’s not too late to …”
“No.” She put her hand on his and looked into his eyes. “Write to the Minister, have a healer come, but I will keep the baby, if possible.”
“Narcissa …” His voice was almost pleading.
“I could not live with myself.”
He closed his eyes for a moment. “Alright. We’ll have Healer Durham here and we’ll see what he says.”
She leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Thank you.” Adrian Durham was one of Britain’s best healers and had treated her during her first pregnancy.
He snorted bitterly. “I should have kept my hands off you when all we had was self-brewed potions.”
She smiled at him. “I did not want you to keep your hands off me. I wrote to Draco, according to him small mistakes can’t be detected in the finished potion but they lower the efficiency nonetheless. I thought I would be able to smell or taste the difference, if something was wrong.” She smirked. “Maybe I should have asked him before.”
“I’m sure our son was thrilled to have his mother asking him about Contraception Potion.”
“He asked if it was a theoretical question or if one of us screwed it up.”
He sighed and pulled her closer. “I can’t lose you, Narcissa.” She knew that she was the only person in the entire world whom he allowed himself to be vulnerable with, like now.
She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest. “And you won’t. It went well with Draco and at this point I was already feeling miserable when I was pregnant with him. I feel fine this time.”
“Hmm … I wouldn’t say it went well.”
Alright, the birth hadn’t been pleasant and it had taken two days for Durham to tell them that she was out of danger, but still, she had been fine in the end and so had Draco.
xxx
“You heard him, you are going to take it easy.”
Narcissa sighed. The next few months would be a trial to her patience. Lucius had nothing to do but fuss over her, nowhere else to go and no one else to try to get some of his attention, except for the occasional letter from Hogwarts. She would have to ask Hermione to send him some questions that would require extensive research.
Shacklebolt had of course not refused to send a healer and Durham had been there only hours after Lucius sending the owl. He had examined her and confirmed the pregnancy. Two months had also been a good estimation. She was healthy for now and so was the baby, but it was still a risky pregnancy.
“What exactly do you think I’m going to do while being locked up?” He just looked at her and she couldn’t help but smirk. “Darling, it’s a little too late to keep your hands off me. Also, I happen to find that quite relaxing, so we’re not going to stop that. But if you wish to be a little more careful than we usually are, I can live with that. Am I still allowed to write letters? Because except for the occasional walk outside and reading, that is the only thing I’ve done for months.”
“Alright, alright. Just …”
She sighed as he broke off and got up. She knew he was scared and she regretted teasing him. Gently, she hugged him and smiled as he pulled her close. “I promise I’ll be careful and I’ll let you know, if I’m not feeling well. Don’t worry.”
xxx
Draco,
It was not a theoretical question. Today, a healer was here and confirmed that I am pregnant. You’ll have a little brother or sister soon. You always wanted one to play with when you were younger, I hope that hasn’t changed.
Please don’t worry about me, I’m doing perfectly fine and the healer will check on me regularly and in case of emergency, he can be fetched by an elf and enter the Manor at any time.
I do not know which one of us ‘screwed it up’, but if your father ever mentions it in front of you, it was me.
Again, please don’t worry. I will be fine and you will be the best brother this baby could hope for.
Love,
Mother
She had just brought the letter to the Owlery when an unfamiliar owl flew straight to her and landed on her outstretched arm. It was long-eared owl, she hadn’t seen one of those for a long time. She took the letter and went back to the Owlery to give it a treat. It then flew off and she read the letter on the way back to the Manor.
When she saw the handwriting, she recognised it immediately, although she hadn’t seen it since she had been a teenager. She would have recognised it everywhere.
Narcissa,
I hope you are doing well. According to Draco (I sent him a small Christmas gift, I hope you don’t mind), you may like to hear from me. I hope this is so. I miss you, dear, I always have.
How are you doing? Is that husband of yours getting on your nerves? He would certainly drive me mad, if I was locked up with him for a year.
Narcissa laughed and a tear escaped her eye. Even before her sister had married a muggle-born, she had constantly bickered with Lucius. The two of them had never been able to stand one another and she didn’t even want to imagine a scenario in which they would be locked up together.
Teddy, my grandson, keeps me quite busy. I’m sure you heard what happened to my daughter, her husband and my husband during the War, so I’m raising him. I don’t know what I would have done without him.
I’m doing better now, though, and I would love to reconnect with the family I still have, not just for my own sake, but also for Teddy.
I wish we could meet, we have so much to talk about, but I’d be willing to settle for letters for now.
I cannot wait to hear from you.
Love,
Andromeda
She couldn’t even imagine her sister’s pain. The fear of losing her husband or son had been constantly there during the War and this fear had become reality for Andromeda. She had lost everyone but her grandson. She wished she could meet her, be there for her. She had thought of her often lately, but she hadn’t quite dared to write, not knowing, if it would be welcome, considering they had been followers of Voldemort, even if they had stood against him in the end.
But she was glad Andromeda had reached out. She had missed her, too. She remembered all too well all the nights she had cried herself to sleep when their father had disinherited her sister. Bellatrix had of course approved and although she knew that Lucius had, too, at that point at least, he had never said it out loud to her and while they had never gotten along and he had often complained about her before, he had never uttered another bad word about her in Narcissa’s presence after she had lost her.
She went inside and joined Lucius in the library.
He looked up from his book and smiled at her. “Did you send your letter?”
“I did. I received one, too. From Andromeda. She wants to get back in contact.”
Silence, but then he nodded slowly. “If this is what you want, I will not stand in your way.”
That she had not doubted. He may even have kept his silence, if she had done so before the War and she was sorry she hadn’t. She may have been able to meet her niece.
“It is what I want.”
Draco
“You’re distracted. Bad night?”
It was the Friday of the first holiday week and Draco was spending the morning with McNair. While they were brewing some potions for Hospital Wing they were discussing their new theories regarding their joint project.
But it was true, Draco was distracted. Yesterday he had received a letter from his mother and he had been worried ever since. That had caused him to have a bad night’s sleep as well, with the nightmares always acting up when he was stressed; in the end it had been so bad that Hermione had not returned to her own bed and had proceeded to hold him for the rest of the night. He wished he could have enjoyed it more, but he had been able to find some sleep.
“Yeah, that too.” He hesitated, but then decided to tell his teacher. They had talked about a lot while working together, school, some private topics and when they had become more familiar with each other, Draco had even started to open up about how he was doing at the moment, and even about the War. “My mother wrote to me yesterday. She’s pregnant.”
McNair hesitated. “And is that not good news?”
“She almost died when she had me, that’s why I don’t have siblings. The healers said, another pregnancy would be just as dangerous for her as the first one.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Draco nodded and kept mechanically working on the potion. It was just Pepper-Up, nothing that really required his attention, but it did keep his hands busy. “But the Ministry did send a healer, right? They can’t refuse that.”
“Yes, my father wrote to the Minister and he approved regular visits from the healer who mainly treated her last time. And he can come at any time, if there’s an emergency.”
“Well, that’s good. I’m sure she’ll be …”
“I should have brewed the potions they may need while I’m gone!” Draco interrupted him, voice rising. And that was what had really bothered him ever since he had read his mother’s letter the day before. While he had told Hermione everything else he had just told McNair, he had left that out, because it bloody hurt. But it had just slipped out now, he hadn’t been able to keep it to himself any longer. “I knew they both suck at potions, I knew they wouldn’t be allowed to receive anything but letters and instead of brewing some potions they may need while being locked up for an entire fucking year, I decided to wallow in self-pity for weeks after the trials and because I couldn’t get my shit together, my mother may die!”
When had he started crying? And how was he even talking to McNair? Ashamed, he looked up, but the older man didn’t seem angry. Instead, he calmly put the knife he had cut ingredients with aside and went over to Draco, gently put a hand on his shoulder and led him to the sofa where they sat down.
“I’m sorry,” Draco said quietly.
“No need to apologise. But you know it wasn’t your fault, right? You did not wallow in self-pity, you were struggling with post-traumatic stress and you can’t just switch that off. And besides, you can’t always consider everything that might come in handy later. It’s not your fault and I can’t imagine your parents think it is.”
Of course they didn’t, even Draco knew that, but if anything happened to his mother, he would always know that he could have prevented it.
“I may never see her again,” he said so quietly McNair had to lean in to understand it.
With a quiet sigh, his teacher drew him into a one-armed hug. “Of course you will.”
xxx
They had not resumed brewing today, at least Draco hadn’t.
When he had calmed down McNair had told him to take the day off, spend some time with his girlfriend. He hadn’t thought people had noticed already, but apparently he and Hermione hadn’t been as subtle as they had thought.
That was another thing he hadn’t even considered yet. Could he tell his parents now? He didn’t know their current stand on him being together with a muggle-born. Being friends with her was obviously fine, but they had both taken pride in their long pureblood line, he didn’t know, if that had changed and although he had no intention of keeping his relationship a secret, he didn’t want to upset his mother right now.
He would write to his father, he decided. Even if Lucius didn’t like it, he would do nothing to risk his wife’s health. If there had been anything Draco had been sure of his entire life, it was his parents’ love for each other.
When he entered the common room, it was empty and so was the room he shared with Hermione. Since he usually spent some hours with McNair, she had probably decided to spend some time in the library.
He sat down on his desk and Crookshanks jumped into his lap. Absentmindedly, he stroked through the cat’s thick fur before starting to write.
Father,
This is probably not the time for a letter like that and I understand if you’re angry. But please, if you think mother would be upset, don’t tell her.
I promised not to keep important things secret anymore and this is more important to me than anything has been for a while. But please, if it upsets you, and at this point I honestly can’t tell if it would, write angry letters to me and don’t upset mother. If you want to disinherit me, do it after the baby is born and we are sure mother is alright. That’s all I’m asking.
So, let’s get to the point, shall we?
Hermione and I are a couple and though it is pretty fresh, I do believe that it may last. I’m not sure whether it’s too soon to speak of love, but I’m certainly on the way there. She’s everything I could have dreamed of in a partner. She’s smart, kind, we have so many common interests, we can talk for hours and for some reason she wants to be with me although I am carrying the mark of madman who wanted her and those like her dead and turn into a wolf once a month.
Of course there’s no guarantee of it lasting, but I will do my best to make it so.
This is it. You know I love you both and I hope that even if you decide I can no longer be your heir, it does not mean that I will lose you as my family.
Please take good care of mother. I hope she’s feeling as well as she claims.
Draco
Lucius Malfoy
“You were right, you know,” Lucius said dryly as joined his wife in the sunroom.
“I usually am. What exactly are you talking about now?”
He gave her a wry smile and sat down next to her. “Our son has a flair for the dramatics and he may have that from me.”
“Oh really?” Narcissa gave him an amused look, her beautiful eyes sparkling. He loved that woman so much and he was terrified of losing her, but he pushed that thought aside for now.
“Yes. Remember when we talked about your theory of him and Hermione possibly feeling more than friendship for each other?”
“Of course I do. Is that another thing I was right about?”
He chuckled. “Yes, my dear, it is.”
They had talked about it in lengths, but they had come to the only possible conclusion – if Draco decided that she was right for him, they wouldn’t object. He had been forced to make so many choices based on their misguided believes, and he now had to live with that for the rest of his life. He shouldn’t have to consider their feelings when it came to his choice of a partner. And if they were honest, they didn’t even mind so much. It was hard to completely leave all the convictions of a lifetime behind in such a short amount of time, but Hermione was everything they had been raised to believe muggle-borns couldn’t be. She was a brilliant young woman and magically more talented than many purebloods. If it wasn’t for her blood status, any of the old family would see her as an asset to their line. Would that exclude them from the Sacred Twenty-Eight? Certainly, but it wasn’t like they needed that title. The Malfoys had always been among the most powerful, magically and politically, they didn’t necessarily need that additional title.
“I can’t say I’m surprised.”
“Me neither, to be honest.”
“And how was he dramatic about it?”
Lucius smirked. “Well, he mentioned the possibility of being disinherited twice and he didn’t want me to tell you, just in case it upsets you too much.”
Narcissa rolled her eyes. “He really must believe me to be terribly fragile.” She looked him in the eyes. “I do hope you wrote to him already. It sounds like he’s worried about our reaction.”
“Of course I have.”
Draco
When the eagle owls dropped letters on their table the next morning, Hermione took hers rather unconcernedly – Draco hadn’t told her about the letter to his father yet. He probably should have. Who knew what her letter contained?
He watched her worriedly as she read.
Even McGonagall, who was sitting at the joined holiday table, noticed and looked at him questioningly. Draco ignored that right now.
When Hermione noticed, she looked at Draco in confusion. “What is it?”
“Is everything alright?” He absolutely didn’t come across as casually as he was trying to. Everyone looked at them now.
“Yes. Why wouldn’t it be? It’s from your mother. I congratulated them yesterday. She seems to be doing well.”
“That’s good.” He took a deep breath and opened his own letter.
“Draco, what is it?”
He read the letter and let out a sigh of relief before smiling at her. “Nothing, all is well.”
He didn’t know, if she wanted the teachers and other students to know about them yet, so he just handed her the letter.
Draco,
Your mother says we both have a flair for the dramatic and of course you have it from me. Please stop proving her right.
No one will be disinherited and your relationship does not come as a surprise. Again, your mother detected that weeks ago from both your and Hermione’s letters. If you continue to confirm all her suspicions, she may become rather smug about it.
Anyway, we do not disapprove. Many of your decisions in the last few years were forced on you based on the bad decisions we made before you were even born. I am more sorry about that than you will ever know. Please make your own choices now and I will trust your judgement enough to know that they will be what is best for you and the family. And if you do want my opinion: If Hermione and you remain a couple, I think she will be an asset to our family. I do want you both to know, however, that there will be backlash from the old families and of course there is a lot Hermione will have to learn. But if you are both willing to face this, Narcissa and I will stand with you and all backlash will pass eventually, we’ve had enough of that throughout history and we are still here.
For now, enjoy what you have and see if it is what you both want. Future plans can be discussed in person when the year is over.
As to your mother, she is fine for now and I promise we will keep you informed.
Still your father, in both blood and title
Hermione broke out in a fit of giggles and if it hadn’t been the case before, everyone was certainly looking at them now.
“Narcissa is right, you’re both so bloody dramatic. What did you write anyway? ‘Father, I am dating Hermione, even if it means disinheritance, poverty, damnation and an early death caused by starvation due to the lack of house elves’?”
He tried very, very hard not join in on her laughter, but he couldn’t supress a grin. “You know, very few people would just call my father dramatic.”
“Well, we’re already over that. I called him that to his face like two weeks ago … well, in letter, anyway.” Draco’s eyes widened. “I can happily show you his letter concerning our discussion about creature rights and you tell me that’s not pure drama.”
“You’re something else.”
“Good of you to notice.” She smiled and looked at the current letter. “But in-between the drama, it’s actually rather sweet.”
Draco returned her smile and they both turned to McGonagall as she spoke up. “You know, I have now learned that Lucius Malfoy apparently approves of his son’s relationship to a muggle-born and heard said muggle-born call him both dramatic and rather sweet. Is there more you want to throw at us before breakfast is over?”
“Don’t interrupt them,” McNair looked accusatorily at the Headmistress. “This is the best entertainment I’ve had for quite a while.”
Hermione chuckled and turned to Draco again. “Besides, your mother hinted weeks ago that if there was more than friendship between us, they wouldn’t disapprove. That was quite a while before we got together, so I didn’t say anything then. But why do you think I was so unconcerned? If you had just said that you were worried, I could have told you.”
~tbc~