A not that broken heart.
“Oi! Regulus, wait!”
I turn around and see Potter running towards me, almost tripping over the bushes around the greenhouse, “What?”
His face is a bit red from running and Evan pokes me in my ribs, “Looks like he will not let you go mhm?” He is smirking and I roll my eyes at Evan.
“Hey Regulus so uhm I kinda feel bad for dropping your books and just running off like that, so I was thinking of making it up to you. Would you like to get a drink with me this Saturday while going to hogsmeade? My treat of course!”
Everyone is silent. No one is laughing, no one is talking, it even feels like everyone is holding their breath.
“You- Uhm I- What?” I just keep blinking at him.
“Would you like to grab a drink with me on Saturday,” He repeats, while grinning. I feel my face getting hot. What do I do?! I’m not prepared for this shit! Fuck Potter and his stupid plans, just randomly comming over here like I made a whole senerio for situations like this!
“Regulus?”
“...No-” I turn around, leaving him with a face full of confusion and somehow he also seemed a bit sad.
I walk fast, needing to get the fuck away. I stop at a tree and sit down with my head between my legs.
“Reg, are you okay?” I recognise Dorcas her voice.
“What the fuck was that?”
I hear some leaves get crushed, which means the others are here too.
Pandora speaks now, “I think Potter just asked you out.”
“But he is dating Lily Evans?” Barty sounds confused.
I look Barty dead in the eye, “Wow really? I didn’t notice!”
“I just meant that he thought he was asking platonically, I think.”
“It didn’t fucking sound platonic.” Evan tells us.
“And it also didn’t look like it, did you see him smile?” Pandora says.
“I can assure you that he doesn’t smile like that at Evans Reg, I spent quite a lot of time with Lily since Marlene and her are such good friends and I have never seen Potter smile like that to her.”
“Why did I do that?”
“Why did you do what?” Pandora shuffles closer to me and I can feel her hair on my shoulder.
“I said no, while I have been dreaming of going out with him for years! I’m so stupid!”
“You didn’t prepare for a situation like this, that is not your fault Reg.”
“You just need a plan for the next time he asks.” Evan tells us.
“Why are you so sure that he will ask again?”
“Because it’s James Potter, he never gives up until he has what he wants.”
“An ego the size of a lake, but a heart to match it.” I say softly.
~~~
“What do I do Prongs?!”
“What the fuck do you mean Pads? It’s literally 3 AM.”
Sirius their wand is blinding me and shining right in my eyes, “Mate come in and put out the light.”
Sirius comes in my bed many times, but 3 AM doesn’t happen a lot.
“So, what do you mean?” I ask him.
“How do you break up with someone?! How do you tell them that you don’t feel the way you are supposed to? How?!”
“Okay, first of all calm down, second, try to say it gently, not in a way she would feel guilty or very sad.”
“When do I say it to her James? Every place is bad and every moment is wrong.”
“Why don’t you take her outside tomorrow, go on a little walk and try to explain to her how you feel.”
“I don’t wanna lose her, she is one of my best friends.”
“If she really is one of your best friends then she will understand, just give her some time.”
“Mhm”, he signs, sounding very tired, “Can I stay here?”
“Of course you can, come here.” They shuffle under the sheets and whispers, “Thank you Prongs.”
“No problem mate, no problem.”
It's silent for a long time and I thought Sirius was already sleeping but then they say, “Moony looks so cuddly, I wish I could hug him all the time.”
I look at their face but Sirius their eyes are already closed and it looks like they have fallen asleep.
~~~
“Goodmorning my most beautiful girl in the world! Rise and fucking shine!”
My bed curtains get ripped open and bright sunlight blinds me. “Marlene what the fuck?!”
“It is quidditch match today Mary, get up!” Marlene crawls into my bed and starts jumping on it.
“Come on get up, sleeping beauty!”
“Can’t you bother Lily?”
“We both know that instead of planning to take me back you would be planning my funeral then Macdonald. Now chap chap, we don’t have all day!”
I sigh in defeat and get up, walking into our bathroom. I planned to break up with Sirius today at breakfast, but breakfast is getting dangerously close now. I made a whole script in my head about everything that I will say, everything Sirius can say, backup plans, … But still I’m fucking terrified.
Someone is knocking very hard on the door. “Hurry up Mary, I wanna wish James good luck before the match!” Lily yells.
“Yeah, sorry!”
I splash water in my face and get ready. While walking out the dorm I tell her, “Give him a kiss for me yeah?”
~~~
I get woken up by the sounds of trumpets.
“What the-” The curtain around my bed gets ripped open and I see Sirius and James standing on 2 chairs while playing their trumpets, which they can’t play good at all.
Now a different voice is speaking, “Prongs, Sirius, what in Merlin's beard is wrong with you guys?!” Peter says.
James stops playing and says, “Gentlemen, Sirius and I have an announcement to make.”
I snort, “What? Are you guys pregnant?”
“Aww how cute, how far along are you James?” Pete jumps in.
“Very funny but no, it’s way more important than that.”
Sirius stops playing now too, “It’s so important, we will die if you guys say no.”
“Hm Peter, do you know your answer?” I ask him.
“They fucking woke us up with trumpets, I think it’s pretty clear what my answer is.”
James starts talking, “Oh Peter, you have always been my favorite Marauder-” He gets thrown 2 pillows to his head, one from Sirius and one from me. “-And I wanted to ask you this for like forever so,” James jumps off his chair and goes on one knee in front of Peter, grabs a little black box out of his pocket and opens it, there is a golden snitch in it. “Peter Pettigrew, would you like the honor of being my biggest supporter?”
Everybody is laughing their ass off and Peter can barely answer, “Yes, 100 times yes!!” He says dramatic.
Now Sirius jumps off their chair and turns to me, “Remus, I need to ask you questions. Can you clap your hands?”
“Uhm, yes?”
“Can you yell my name at the top of your lungs?”
"Well we never shagged before but if you wanna know then pop right in my bed sweetheart."
They grin but still continue, “Are you,” Sirius holds the dramatic pause, “A good supporter?”
“I am.”
Sirius jumps on my bed and stands at my feet, “Oh Moony, my Moony, do you want to be my biggest supporter?”
I roll my eyes and smile, “Yes Sirius.”
“Yes!” They launch themself at me and give me a very big hug. We fall backwards, at the same time I feel their curls on my shoulder and my face gets really hot.
“Thank you Moony! Okay I’m gonna get ready now!”
“Yeah me too, thank you lads!” James says.
As soon as they are gone Peter turns to me, “First of all, if they ever wake me like that again I’m gonna hex their balls off. Second, is there anything you wanna tell me?”
“Huh, what do you mean?”
“You are blushing idiot.”
“So because I’m gay it automatically means that I have a crush on my best friend? That is such a stereotype Wormy.”
“I’m just saying that there could be some cute teenage romance.” He shrugs his shoulders.
“Sirius has a girlfriend.”
"Mhm, sure."
Sirius and James walk back in, “Oi, quit the chit chat and hurry, we have a match to win folks!”
~~~
“James!” I get up from my chair in the great hall and run into his arms.
“Hey Lily, what are you doing here so early?”
I wanted to wish you good luck before the match, so, good luck love.” I give him a small kiss on his cheek and he grabs my hand.
We go sit at the table again, still holding hands, in the meantime Remus, Sirius and Peter also arrived. I see Sirius staring at Mary nervously, and Mary her leg is shaking. Sirius sits down next to her and there is a painful silence.
“Sirius, could I talk to you?” Mary says after a while.
They only nod and stand up, leaving the great hall.
~~~
Mary and I walk in an empty classroom and she closes the door. We glance at each other with knowing looks.
“Sirius, I think we should break up.” She says.
“I think so too.”
“I’m so sorry because you deserve someone great and you deserve someone that loves you, but I don’t think that I’m the right person to do so.”
I stare at her for a while before answering. “Mary, I love you so much but I think I'm doing it wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
I go sit on the ground, leaning against the wall, she follows my lead. “I think that because we are such good friends, and you are basically the girl version of me, I always loved you like a friend, like a sister. I think I mixed my feelings because you are the perfect girlfriend for me but, I don’t think I want a girlfriend at all.”
Mary leans against my shoulder, “I think I get what you mean. You are literally the other version of me and we get along so well that I kinda gaslighted myself into thinking that that is what love feels like, and I wasn’t completely wrong because I love you so much Sirius, but in a friend way.”
“I understand that.”
We stay quiet for a while, just processing what just happened.
“Nothing will change between us, right?” I ask her.
“I promise Sirius, everything will stay the same. I’m not going anywhere.”
I grab her hand and squeeze it softly.
~~~
I see Sirius and Mary walking back into the great hall, they look very relaxed.
“There you are mate! Come on, we have to leave!” James says.
The girls and us go separate ways, so we grab our change and can ask what happened.
“Sirius, what was going on with you and Mary?” I ask gently.
“We uhm well we broke up.”
“Oh no, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I wanted to break up with her today and she apparently had the same plans so we didn’t actually hurt each other.”
“Why did you two break up?”
“We just weren’t really doing the love thing right. I see her more as a friend and she also sees me as her friend. And I think I’m not attracted to girls if I’m honest.”
I stop walking and stand still in the middle of the hallway.
Sirius Black likes boys.
Sirius likes boys.
Padfoot likes boys.
“Moony?”
“Yeah sorry, that is great you figured that out Sirius! I’m so proud of you!”
We walk to the stadium and Pete and I walk a bit behind. He whispers in my ear, “Now he doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore.”
I playfully push him to the side, “Fuck off Wormtail.”