Like a dog
Sirius Black was 8 years old when them and their brother ran away from home. They can still recall the very day, as their mother believed as children of Hades they were mature,strong and old enough control the dead and call a whole army of dead on them with the cursed ruby the Black family had kept as a family heirloom for centuries. Because that’s just the kind of lovely family they were.
Shocked with terror themselves, they would’ve ran headfirst to fight them if it meant keeping Regulus safe, but one look at him,his terrified 7 year old self, as his eyes filled with many emotions at once.
Fear. Sirius saw fear in their brother’s eyes, perhaps at the horrible sight of dead men crawling from beneath the surface of earth all coming for him.
Betrayal. The difference between them and their brother was always the fact, that Sirius never tried shielding or defending or making up excuses to the horrible way their mother and father acted,whilst Regulus always clang onto the hope if he just did enough,was enough their parents would love them and then they could be a happy loving family. Sirius always knew this was not the way the Blacks worked. Walburga Black required the maximum and if you didn’t achieve it, you were doomed- left alone in a cold room without supper that night. If you as much as became independent or did something she didn’t consider the bast, she took out one of her lovely little tools to torture her children. Whips, chains or just putting on her largest stoned rings to punch you with.
Problem was, that whilst Sirius realized this was because of how horrible of a person she was,whilst Regulus? He solely believed they deserved it. Well. Sirius doesn’t know if their brother believed, they themselves deserved it, but he surely believed he did. No matter what Walburga sentenced him with, an hour later Regulus would tip toe into Sirius’s room to ask them “How can I make this better?”always yearning for perfection. For reassurance. And never getting it. Not from their parents and after a while they started considering Sirius’s words of affirmation a lie, because Sirius would never agree with their parents even if they were right.
But at that moment. Sirius saw Regulus’s face fall. They saw how Regulus realized that no, it was not him always mucking things up. It was just the way things were. And he didn’t deserve it. And Understandably Regulus felt betrayed. He gave everything to his mum and step father. Everything which is with the exact amount is more than he ever got back.
Sirius knows, that some fucked up part in Regulus’s mind still gets to those habits. He knows Regulus struggles with feeling worthy of the barest minimum, such as normal nourishment for a person. He struggles with always wanting to be perfect but will never accept even if he is, because he himself never feels as much and no one’s word is believable enough for him. Not because Regulus thinks people are lying to him,Sirius knows that, but because their little brother is still set to be the perfect for his parents and that is an impossible thing to achieve.
With all those thoughts playing in their head; Sirius took Regulus’s arm and bolted backwards. And they ran. They both ran, and ran until exhaustion wore them out and they passed it in gods know what place as neither of them recall. Next moment they were waking up with sunlight coming across windows and a group of people surrounding them.
And that was the moment Sirius first met James Potter. That was the moment Euphemia and Fleamont decided that the Black brothers were just as much their children as James was. They didn’t spend much time there, really the brief time they spent in that house was cut short to a breakfast and then Peter Pettigrew came barging in, his satyr senses ticking off and took them all under his protection as they started sprinting towards Hogwarts. Their journey took 3 days and they became very close. Peter was alright.Bit rough around the edges but then just as they arrived at Hogwarts and his duty was done, Peter kind of drifted away from them. James and them however? They were inseparable.
And hence that Sirius was in Apollo’s cabin, ranting to James about everything Remus Lupin.
“He didn’t even fucking say ‘oh wow Sirius that was actually good’”
“Well maybe you weren’t?” Sirius shots him a glare,like c’mon we both know that’s not possible. Not for the fact Sirius believed they were good, they lost their mind over thinking they’ll just come across as a 4 year old playing ‘twinkle twinkle little star’ and even then missing several keys , but James assured them they were good. “Freddie couldn’t have done it any better” that was rubbish and they all knew as much, Freddie was literally as magnificent as a god and played the piano like they were born from it’s music the way Athena was from thoughts. But to be fair that was enough to hear from James, James always wanted the best for everyone and could let you down so gently you almost felt like he was complimenting you, but he never lied and well James was a child of Apollo he would know all about music.
It wasn’t until Apollo himself barged in to camp for his usual random visit that James literally grabbed him by the arm, a god and James just fucking dragged him to meet Sirius so he would tell them they were good. And well, flabbergasted at first but Apollo did say as much. He was one of the few gods among with Artemis, Dionysus and Hermes who visited camp, out of whom which only 3 of them visited children during that time as well,seeing as Artemis didn’t have any children to begin with. And Sirius had to admit, Apollo was a great being to be around. And if anyone, the god of music will not lie to help a 17 year old’s ego about music.
“Wanna know what he fucking said?” They just rant on, dramatic as always.
“Oh Sirius my one and only please let me suck your cock for the great talent you possess” James mocks and Sirius chucks their shoe at him,which only results in James bursting out in laughter so bright he could light up the room with it. Which funnily enough,has literally happened.
“He fucking complained why I learnt Queen and not Bowie! Like please! Undeniably Bowie is to be worshipped but Queen is just something else. And their piano themes are much more difficult, so stupid me believed if I played a song complicated it will impress him!”
“Who said it didn’t though?” Sirius halts at that. Well Remus did not say as much but…
“I don’t know I just expected… I don’t know to be fair. Something! Anything!” James chuckles again and godsdamn him, this is a serious situation! A Sirius one at that! A serious Sirius situation ! Now is not the time to fucking laugh
“Honestly what was he supposed to do? It’s not like you talked about it, and both you and him wouldn’t talk about your feelings if someone tore them out with a crowbar from you “ Well, Sirius has to admit he was right. Defeated, they dramatically fall into bed next to James and shove a pillow to their face.
“I’m so stupidly and idiotically in love with him, James it hurts.” Their friend just takes the pillow away with a lime about getting eyeliner on it and such then cuddles Sirius.
“I know.”
“Helpful much really,Prongs thank you” They groan and James soothingly starts rubbing their arms.
“Look,just talk to him. I think playing for him was a great idea, truly don’t look at me like that! But I don’t think he’d care if you just played 2 chords and sing sang ‘Im in love with you please date me’, he would still appreciate it. So just play him his favorite. Or a song important to you both. Then don’t just look at him expecting as I know you did,but open your pretty mouth and talk to him” Sirius considers that and realizes they hate when James Potter is right. With a groan they push themselves from the bad and fix their eyeliner, marching out.
“Oi! Where you heading to?” James calls after them and throw over their shoulder to declare that towards the music room. A like of encouragement leave their friends’s mouth but Sirius doesn’t stop just starts walking.
And walking they are.
Straight into Remus Lupin in all his glory.
And Remus looks… Gods Remus looks so good from how they’re glancing up at Sirius from beneath their eyelashes, hazel eyes practically shining in the sunlight.
“Hi!” Remus calls and Sirius,as the master of conversations answers;
“Hi” Remus and them, had not seem one another since morning when the new girl arrived and proceeded to complete the prophecy of the century as they know it. Remus was quickly whisked away by Dumbledore seeing as the girl just confirmed the already obvious thing, that Remus was the one the prophecy was about. Now the rest of it was filled with things, very very not promising but Sirius knew two things; they will accompany Remus any and everywhere and if one of the two to fall to Tartarus will end up being their Moony, Sirius won’t take longer than a second to sky rocket down as a comet, following their moon into it as well.
“Right so, our darling dear camp director believes I will literally have to choose or recruit a team for my own which is a rather idiotic idea isn’t it? Like who am I supposed to bring along? My friends? “Oi mate,we are just so close I love you lots,you know, and hey you are in such luck because you won getting to go on a possibly murderous trip with me! Don’t you just love having me as your friend?” Sirius laughs at that and thinks, I’d still feel lucky to know you if I was bleeding out at your feet and you were the one twisting the knife. Instead they just say
“I’ll go with you” And Remus looks up into their eyes. And fuck if Sirius could only drown in them.
“Well, I kinda knew you would. For the record I would never endanger you as such, but also I’m pretty sure ‘me’ recruiting will be actually Dumbledore doing so” I’ll beg to Dumbledore if needed,can’t you see? I’m not letting you do this alone. But they don’t say that. Because words like that never come to the surface. Not when loosing Remus could be at stake with that. And having bits of him was better than nothing.
“Well Dumbledore’s a cunt and idiot if he as much as considers leaving me out of it. Anyway I was heading for the music room if you’d like to join?” They invite,because when listening to music with Remus it felt like their hearts were tied together with the lines of the sheets, the key-the treble cleff, locking them in place.
“I was actually thinking of going to the library because they finally got this book I’ve waited ages to arrive here as well and damn the fucking earth if your brother gets it before me.” Heart dropping a couple of feet downwards,but Sirius does smile at that. Regulus and Remus had been inseparable along with Lily basically the same way James and they were. Sirius knows for a fact that Remus was one of the greatest helps to Regulus when it came to him having to accept and embrace his gender and it makes Sirius want to just grab him and kiss him for being such a great,great fucking person.
“You could come along tho?” And Sirius does. Because they would literally follow Remus into Chaos himself, and the library actually seemed rather pleasant