A Love for the Sun

CRACK

Regulus's scream echos through the tall pine trees as James's body falls backwards. He's too late again.

The confederate soldier points his musket at Regulus but doesn't bother to take a shot when he notices the heart shaped medal on Regulus's blue coat. It's an identification card, a warning sign to just walk away, or better yet, run. Vampires are ruthless in this war, enough on each side to be evenly matched.

Regulus stumbles through the crunching leaves, normally graceful and poised, he's too desperate to say goodbye this time.

"James- Jamie?" Regulus crashes to his knees at the bottom of the hill, if he could bleed, they'd be bloodied and bruised. "Jamie please."

Regulus shakes the other boy, sobs when he doesn't move. The hole in James's chest goes all the way through, even if he wasn't dead right then, there would have been nothing anyone could do to keep him alive. Three days was up two hours ago.

Regulus grips the blue vest anyways, letting blood run over pale fingers as he pushes down, trying to stop blood that no longer flows.

"Please, please, no." Regulus sniffles, sobs and throws his head onto James' chest. "I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. It's all my fault."

Devastation wraps her familiar fingers around Regulus's throat, squeezes screams from his mouth and drags sobs through his lips the same way dark, loving hands would coax pleasure out of every crevice in his body. With fervor, like Regulus doesn't have at least a hundred years yet to sit by James's side and mourn the love of his life. 

He's already lost everything too many times. Once was enough to shatter his heart, twice to shatter any shell of the person he once was. It's the twenty sixth time and Regulus feels like broken glass under someone's boot, being crushed to dust, scattered to the winds. He's sure he can't fill his cup with any more sorrow, that he'll run out of tears to shed. Yet the cup overflows and the tears spatter against James's bloodied chest for three sunsets before he's interrupted.

"Regulus."

Regulus shoots off the carpeted ground with a gasp, clutching for his own chest, wanting to claw past his skin and bone to rip out the heart that won't even beat. Tears drip freely down his cheeks and Regulus doesn't bother to wipe them.

He's faced with red hooker boots and groans, trailing his eyes up slowly, over black ripped jeans and a tight red corset to match the boots. Sirius has very extra face makeup on today and normally Regulus loves it, but today, it hurts his head to look at so many colors swimming on a pale face. Red, gold, silver and black dance across Sirius's eyelids in patterns Regulus doesn't recognize.

"When was the last time you ate?" Sirius asks, crouching down and grabbing Regulus's face in both hands, turning it side to side while frowning. Regulus let's his head be held, sinks his eyes shut.

1969 was the last time Regulus consciously fed on anything, after that he'd let himself go hungry until the craze set in and his body hunted without his mind. 

"I don't know." Regulus mumbles, letting his head go slack in Sirius's hold until he inhales, and his eyes open slowly, nose twitching as he breathes in deeply. Something metallic coils around his senses, his eyes scattering around the room and landing on a tall blonde, Regulus's mind vaguely supplies that this is Remus, Sirius's boyfriend. He tolerates Remus, probably, but right now Remus smells like dinner.

Regulus swallows thickly and opens his mouth enough for sharp fangs to poke against his lips and his head tilts at Remus.

"Why's he looking at me like that?" Remus asks, shifting back. "I feel like a five-course meal- and a little aroused?"

Sirius grips his face harder, and Regulus licks his lips.

"Are you hungry, Reggie?" Sirius coos gently. "Remus, you smell very good right now, so I'm gonna need you to toss over Reggie's snack."

Sirius keeps his voice even, knowing the lightest thing will set Regulus off right now.

Regulus bobs his head as Remus nods. Hunger thrums through his whole body, telling Regulus it's likely been about a year since he last went on a feeding frenzy, as Sirius calls them. He's close to snapping, is thinking up a million and one ways to get out of his brothers hold and across the room to Remus when a red bag flies through the air and Sirius catches it.

The red bag takes all of Regulus's attention, the aroma spilling from it is more heavenly that any five-course meal he's ever smelt, Remus no looks appetizing compared to this.

"Hungry." Regulus manages to get out, reaching for the bag and Sirius yanks it away, pulling a growl from Regulus's lips.

"Hold on, you possessive bastard, I need to get the straw thing in or you'll make a fuckin mess of your carpet."

Regulus growls again and reaches for the bag, this time Sirius lets him, then shoves something in his mouth, watching as he sucks on it. The ache in his stomach he didn't even realize was there settles, he can feel the burning in his throat sooth, the stabbing pain in his fangs release as he bites into the rubber attachment on the straw. Sucks until the bag makes a stuttering noise and pops the straw out of his mouth, letting a lone drop of red curl at the edge of his mouth and drip past his chin, down his throat, staining the edge of the white button up shirt he's wearing.

"Better?" Sirius asks, patting his shoulder.

"Yes." Regulus tosses the beg onto his coffee table and uses the edge to pull himself into a standing position, stumbling when his head spins, righting himself and wiping the blod from his neck and chin. "Sorry Remus, you know I'd never come near your disgusting dog neck, right?"

Remus scoffs and Sirius stands just to punch Regulus in the arm and make eyes at him that scream be nice.

"Yeah I know."

"As long as you're aware, I'm glad actually, that you have the competence for a simple concept such as that considering your tiny mutt brain doesn't seem to comprehend much else." Regulus sneers at Remus where he stands close to the door, snatches the empty bag off the table and marches through his house to the kitchen, slamming the bag in the trash then washing his hands. He ignores Sirius calling after him.

Regulus has never liked Remus, and it's no fault of the other boy really. Regulus has led Remus to believe it's because he's a werewolf, though he really couldn't care less about that. Had tried to convince Sirius of the same thing but the older boy had just stared at Regulus until he'd given the real answer.

Regulus hates Remus because the man embodies everything Regulus can never have. Light, love, forever. Remus can give Sirius everything, and does every day, no matter that he's not from a rich family. Sirius could have all the material things he wishes for, without anyone's help. What he needs is someone like Remus, who will be there to pick up Sirius's broken, ragged pieces and glue them together with patience and love, and Remus won't break the pieces once they're glued together, he'll display them, take Sirius and dance around a living room until the end of time itself.

With every new version of James, the pieces of Regulus Black get crushed further into dust. He wonders bleakly if he'll simply cease to exist soon.

Regulus splashes his face with cold water, turns the faucet off and grips the counter tightly as water drips from his chin into the sink.

"Reg..." Sirius slides behind him, draping himself across narrow shoulders, wrapping thin arms around an unhealthily skinny waist. "How are you?"

"I feel as though I'm dying." Regulus tips his head back, lets Sirius take all of his weight, allows himself to be cradled. "I'm so cold, Sirius. All the time."

Sirius hums, sways Regulus gently, plants a kiss to his temple. Regulus can feel the red lipstick it leaves behind.

"I love you." Sirius says.

"It's not enough." Regulus whispers.

"I know." Is the reply.

They stand in the kitchen for a long time, Sirius supporting all of Regulus's weight, combing thin fingers through tangled curls. Regulus is glad to have Sirius, loves his brother deeply, would do almost anything for him. He wouldn't have been this coherent, this close to okay without Sirius by his side, breaking into his apartment and forcing him to eat, forcing him to go to the closest grocery store for food that Remus can eat because-

"Hey me and Rem need to stay a few days." Sirius mutters and Regulus hums, expecting it. "Could you run to Tesco? Get some food, some water bottles. I'll text you a list."

"I don't have a phone." Regulus hums, opens his eyes.

"Seriously? What year are you even living in right now?" Sirius is teasing, Regulus knows he is. It doesn't stop the anger from rising in his chest though.

"1969." Regulus shoots back, yanking himself away from Sirius and glaring at the taller boy as all traces of teasing leave his body. "Yeah, so fuck off. I'll go get your dumb ass boyfriend some food and water, and some bowls he can lick it out of."

Sirius rolls his eyes and Regulus shoves past him to grab the keys to his apartment and wallet out of the green bowl by the door. Turns to Remus, who's standing to the side, looking out the window.

"Hey Sirius." Regulus calls, keeping eye contact with the taller man across from him. "Don't let your bitch get fur on my couch."

Remus's eyes flash with anger and his nostrils flare, it makes Regulus feel good, to be the one holding the blade rather than the one being stabbed. He slams the door on his way out.

Tesco has changed in the past couple of years, there's a lot of options, a lot of colorful packaging, and the flashing signs declaring deals make his head hurt. Regulus doesn't care enough about Remus to know what kind of food he eats, and he briefly considers just buying dog food and going home. Scratches that idea when he realizes Sirius would probably be upset. So, Regulus stares at the meat section.

Werewolves eat meat, right? But what kind? Can he have fish? The only real food Regulus has ever consumed was Oreos.

"Come on, Reg, you've seriously never had a hot dog before?" James asks teasingly, grabbing an ugly looking package with dark hands. Regulus rolls his eyes and holds out the basket.

"I don't eat stuff like that, I'm a blood sucking monster and you should be afraid." James laughs and sets the package in the basket, reaching forward to wrap an arm around Regulus's waist.

"Ooooo, I'm very scared. You know you love Oreos baby, maybe even more than me with how quick you demolish whole sleeves of 'em." James pulls him close; their noses bump and Regulus pulls away to look around frantically.

"Jamie- we're in public-"

"I just want to kiss you." James mutters and Regulus melts. He always let's James have whatever James wants, so he lets the taller boy press peck after peck to his lips until they're both giggling, and Regulus pulls away to throw the hot dogs back into the refrigerated area it came from.

"I won't allow you to eat that nonsense." Regulus shakes his head and turns on his heel. "You are disgusting for ever thinking processed meat is an acceptable form of protein."

"You love me though." James chuckles, following Regulus like he always does.

"Apparently, I love Oreos more."

James's laugh echos through Regulus's mind and he stares at a package of hot dogs with tears in his eyes.

"If those hot dogs are bothering you, I can take them out back and teach 'em a lesson." A voice like honey pulls Regulus from his thoughts and Regulus lets his eyes sink shut. It's so soon, he isn't ready yet.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it worse." A gentle hand touches his forearm and Regulus opens his eyes, brings a hand up to wipe away a tear and sniffs before turning to James with a smile.

All words die in his throat when Regulus sees James. In every life James has always had the same eyes, the same mouth and lips and nose, but he's always been different in something else. Skin, hair, height, build. Not this James. 

This James is a perfect copy of the original, so much so that Regulus feels his vision split. He sees half a busy supermarket, hears a child screaming for their mother, and half a beach, with a bonfire, dancing nymphs and loud music. The only difference is the round golden glasses that sit on this man's nose. And the overall lack of being dead. 

Everything is the same right down to the mole under his left eye and the white T-shirt he wears. He blushes the same too, all the way up to his ears.

"You couldn't ever make anything worse, tu es trop jolie (You're too pretty)." Regulus mumbles, entranced by James yet again. He wonders how many times he has to fall into the river of James's eyes before drowns.

James blushes harder and rubs a hand on the back of his neck with a shy grin. Regulus wants to get on his tip toes and bite those lips until they bleed, wants to fall forward just so James will catch him. Just to feel warm again.

"That's... wow that's like so smooth with the French and everything." James shakes his head and licks his still smiling lips. "So, what'd the hot dogs do to you?"

"Oh." Regulus hums, rocking on his feet. "Well, they stole my love and kicked my dog, obviously."

James has the same loud laugh in every form, like being small or quiet isn't something he knows how to do.

"No, my brother and his stupid boyfriend are having an extended stay in my home." Regulus glances to the meat and back up to James. "He's a werewolf, and I'm not sure what to buy. I don't eat this kind of stuff, you see."

"Your girlfriend doesn't either?" James tilts his head and Regulus doesn't know what he's talking about until James gestures to his own temple and the collar of his shirt.

"Oh." Stupid Sirius, Regulus hates him so much right now. "No, the lipstick is my brothers. He says he's too pretty to conform to gender norms or something like that. This is blood."

Regulus touches where his collar is still tinged pink, realizes he probably looks like an absolute mess. His hair luckily never looks bad, but he's got to be pale even for a Vampire, his clothes are wrinkled, and blood stained. Regulus wrinkles his nose and shakes his head.

"I usually look more put together than this." Not since 1969. For James though, he does normally look much better.

Regulus looks back up to James, and the taller boy is giving him a funny look. Face a little scrunched up, narrowed eyes.

"What?" Regulus can't help being amused, conversation with James always proves to be stimulating, fun even.

"You're a vampire then?"

"I thought the blood and fangs were a dead give-away." Regulus deadpans, raising his eyebrows at James. He revels in the way James's mouth twitches.

"It's just that... you said the boyfriend was a werewolf. That's not why you don't like him right? Like you're not prejudiced or anything?"

James seems sincere and Regulus considers lying to him, pushing him away so it takes longer, so Regulus can enjoy James longer. Unfortunately, Regulus has never been very good at lying to James.

"At least take me on a date before getting into the deep stuff." He jokes instead, always chasing after the light blush on James's cheeks. "No, I'm not prejudiced or anything. I suppose you could call it jealousy."

"So you like the boyfriend?"

Regulus is deeply amused. He knew he'd fall for this version of James with the same depth and quickness as every James before that, knows James down to his core, knows that this man will always be curious and just dumb enough to make his absurd questions always sincere. He just wants to understand the situation, loving is knowing, and James always wants to know.

"No, not that kind of jealous. Moreso of... finding a love like that, that lasts forever. I have a habit of falling in love with Mortals." Regulus shrugs a shoulder and winks at James, fighting a smile.

"Well, I think if you keep doing it, a part of you loves each one right? My mom used to say that all love lasts forever, even if the recipient isn't around to receive it anymore." James bites his lip with a wince, like he's trying to keep himself from talking too much. Regulus wants to pull that lip out from his teeth and listen to his smooth voice forever.

"Your mother sounds very wise, I hadn't thought of it that way." It's true though, his love will last forever, for one Mortal until the end of the world. After that even, when they've turned to dust whatever is made from his remains will love James still. "I know this is terribly rude, and you have no obligation to participate but I hope you'd help me find some things to bring home?"

James lights up from the inside out, shining brightly with his smile and nod. Talking to James is easy and falling for James is even easier. Regulus lets James lead him through the isles, chatting happily, smiling at people as they pass. A long time ago, Regulus would have done the same, would have trusted in humanity the way James does. Now, there have been too many wars, too much prejudice, too much anger and hatred. Regulus doesn't see humans as harmless anymore, he's learned the hard way how ruthless they are. How quick to discriminate, to kill.

Regulus picks out blood bags too, for him and Sirius. Wants to grab enough to eat for a week at least, loves that refrigerators were invented so that he doesn't have to make daily trips. James winces and looks away as Regulus looks them over. 

"Squeamish?" He can't help to ask; James hasn't ever displayed that trait before.

"No, not at all. I just think it's... like I just- I feel like selling blood in plastic bags is so rude? Like isn't blood meant to be warm? It's like forever eating cold meals- like craving steak and only having popsicles." James waves his hands around, gesturing wildly and obviously quite passionate about the subject. "Plus, there used to be blood banks, right? Where mortals could be paid to give up enough blood to feed Vampires, like what happens if you really like someone's blood, and it came in a bag? Wait can you even taste the difference? How does that work?"

"Yes, everyone tastes different." Regulus says, amused to no end. "Kind of like how everyone smells a little different, I suppose you wouldn't... okay. Every person has pheromones, right?" James nods, listening intently. "Well, I can smell that. It's how I can tell if someone will... taste good, I suppose. Every Vampire has their own taste, I prefer earthy tones, savory kinds of smells. Cinnamon, pine, etcetera. Everyone tastes like the way they smell, the difference between eating steak and... popsicles, I guess."

He picks up a bag and turns it over, pointing at the description. Cinnamon, dirt, nectar.

"The bags have a description of scent, so we know what kind to get. And the blood type, iron levels, all the things we need to know." Regulus tosses the bag in his basket, it sounded good. "You're right though, drinking straight from the source is always better, but now it's seen as kind of an intimate thing. Something lovers do."

James seems to think this over, tilting his head and watching Regulus intently this time as he picks out flavors he knows Sirius likes. Disgustingly sweet and mouth numbingly salty.

"Is it rude to ask what I smell like?" 

Regulus raises an eyebrow; he wasn't expecting that question really. He doesn't have to breathe in to know what James smells like, it's the same every time, Regulus's favorite.

"Cinnamon, pine, eucalyptus and sometimes peppermint." He turns over a bag in his hand, puts it back. James blinks and Regulus watches his brain connect the dots from when he said he prefers exactly what James smells like. It sends warmth rushing to the taller boy's face, Regulus allows himself to inhale now, letting the smell of warm cinnamon take over, closing his eyes.

He imagines sinking his teeth into the pulse of James's neck, feels his mouth water and has to snap his eyes open, reminding himself it's not the time nor place.

"Ready?"

James nods and Regulus follows him while he finishes his shopping. It's his 25th birthday, Regulus already knew, and he's having a party with some old friends, he invites Regulus to come. He declines, though he misses the time when the idea of parties set something buzzing under his skin instead of writhing and biting in his stomach. Too many terrible things have happened at parties for Regulus to ever want to go to another one in his life.

They stand in line, Regulus unloads his groceries and pulls out his wallet.

"Put yours on too." He tells James. "I'll pay."

"Que? (What?) No, you won't." James shakes his head. "That's expensive."

"Please." Regulus rolls his eyes. "I'm disgustingly rich, and I'd like to pay you back for helping me."

James bites his lip, looks Regulus up and down. It sends shivers down his spine, makes him wish for those tan hands to reach out and touch.

"Take me on a date instead." He says boldly, Regulus isn't surprised, James is always bold. "I want to see you again."

It's a bad idea. Regulus should be distancing himself as far as he can, should be buying time for James to live as long as possible. But Regulus is selfish, and he loves giving James whatever he wants.

"Okay." Regulus watches the woman scan all of his things, flashes her his ID with a bright purple capitol V next to his name and swipes his debit card when she hands him a tote bag. "I want you to meet me out front in two days, 5pm sharp. Do not be late."

Regulus looks James up and down and smiles teasingly.

"Wear something formal." He pauses, steps closer to James so he has to tip his chin up to hold those eyes in a stare. "I think you'd look beautiful in a suit and tie, mon soleil (My sun)."

James blushes brilliantly and Regulus can't help himself this time, he pushes on his toes and leaves a gentle kiss on James's cheek, darting his tongue out to lick the flavor off his lips as soon as he's pulled away.  

Regulus almost groans at the taste and has to turn around and force himself to walk away quickly or he's going to ravish the poor man right then and there. He curses himself for acting like a slobbering dog over James, tells himself to find some goddamned self-control. He can't stop smiling though, James always puts him in a beautiful mood, having that bright smile shine on him causes a guttural, basic instinct of happiness to unfurl in his chest. 

He opens the door and doesn't even care that Remus is sitting on his couch, just leans over the back of it, bags still tucked in his arms to smack a loud kiss to Sirius's cheek, grinning when he pulls away.

"Miss me?" He asks flippantly, standing up straight. "Hello, Remus. I hope you enjoy Cheerios- the heart shaped ones obviously."

Regulus feels on top of the world when Remus stares at him with his mouth parted, stunned. Seeing James again might have been the cause of his good mood, but fucking with Remus will be the reason he keeps floating.

"What the fu-"

"Actually, I don't care." Regulus laughs, shakes his head and glides towards the kitchen. "You can deal with it- don't bite the hand that feeds you, yes?"

He hums as he unpacks, tries to ignore the look Sirius and Remus trade on the couch before Sirius stands and makes his way into the kitchen. Puts everything away according to James's instruction, smiles at the package of Oreos as he tosses them on the counter with a sticky note claiming them as his.

"I was thinking we should go shopping tomorrow, Sirius." Regulus smiles at the almost mirror copy of himself as Sirius leans on the counter, concerned. "I want to get a new suit, tailored of course."

Sirius hums. "Why?"

It's said in such a way that Regulus pauses, licks his lips and swallows. Sirius has a way of reading him that he'll never truly understand, something that comes from years of not only watching and observing but also raising him. Sirius knows the mind of Regulus inside and out, knows what every tense muscle means, every twitch of his lips or eyebrows, knows something that simply resides in his soul.

"You know why." Regulus mumbles, flattening the front of a steak package.

Sirius blows out a long breath and shakes his head.

"Tell me anyways."

"He was there, at the store. Helped me pick out the food for Remus-"

"Ah, that makes sense. I thought you would come back with like a bag of dog food or something."

"I was definitely thinking about it." Sirius nods and rolls his eyes with a sigh, sliding his body into the stool across the kitchen counter. "But he took me through like half the store- we talked about so much, he has a dog you know? A pitbull- because the way they're treated makes him sad, which is just so James that I... ugh. And he's a nurse at a children's hospital, wants to go back to school and get his doctorate, isn't he so sweet?"

Regulus pauses long enough for Sirius to nod with a small sad smile.

"What?" Regulus asks, Sirius isn't happy, normally he's excited when James comes back.

"What, what?" Sirius shoots back, and Regulus narrows his eyes. Sirius is deflecting, obvious enough for Regulus to catch on. "Okay, I just... I'm a little concerned about your mental health-"

Regulus rolls his eyes and turns away from Sirius with a groan, he hates when Sirius tries to bring mental health into the equation. He thinks it's stupid to think anyone could have a sane mind after five thousand years, especially not him, who has been put through unimaginable turmoil 27 times in as many centuries.

"I'm serious Reg! When he shows up it's amazing, you're amazing, happy and talkative and sometimes James even convinces you to be kind to Remus and it's so good. Then he... and you cry and scream for days, months sometimes if he lives especially long and it's like a total blackout after that, you don't leave whatever hole you crawl into. You don't keep up with the times- you don't even have an actual TV! That thing is so retro it still has fucking antennas. Antennas, Reg." Sirius gives him a very deadpan look when Regulus turns around.

"You don't eat, you know police are actively hunting you right now, and I know it's you because you do this every time. I'm not saying you can't grieve, and I'm not saying you're doing too much grieving but... at least let me help you more, let me be there-"

"I did, Sirius." Silence falls thickly, that dark thing they don't talk about clawing its way into the room and forcing its fingers down Regulus's throat, making it break when he speaks again. "I begged you, on my fucking knees for you to stay. Begged you to help me and you are the one who left. You are. I needed you."

He closes his eyes and shakes his head against the onslaught of tears threatening to pour over his eyelids. He's still holding a package of deli meat, and he sets it on the counter gently. Regulus is tense in every muscle he can feel. Talking about things that happened in the past makes them real, and when you live so long you live through many different lives, become many different people. Immortals as a collective don't talk about things that happened in the past unless it's from a historical standpoint and is used for education. Most Vampires refuse to do even that though, especially the oldest ones, who have been around since the creation of man itself. No other race of Immortal has been around as long as Vampires.

Regulus takes a deep breath and exhales slowly through rounded lips. "I'm going to go get a phone and buy a new TV. You are always welcome to stay for as long as you want, but please don't criticize the way I've made do in your absence. I'm doing my best."

Sirius stares down at his clasped fingers, gold and red glittering on his eyelids. He'd changed while Regulus was at the store, into sweatpants and one of Remus's jumpers. Regulus hates it. It's not Sirius at all, Sirius is punk, with graphic band tees and glittering makeup that alters his face so much Regulus wouldn't be able to pick him out in a crowd. Sirius is loud and crazy, it almost hurts to see him so subdued and calm. Regulus knows it's not just Remus, that it's his fault too, for not forgiving Sirius.

Regulus just can't. He's tried, he wants to. But he can't forgive Sirius for what he did. So instead he leaves again, to buy a phone and a TV. Leaves to throw money at the problem and pretend the wound doesn't bleed like it used to.

Regulus's heart is so covered with wounds, he can't tell which one's bleed anymore. He hopes he runs out of blood soon; knows he has an endless supply.

----

Regulus is deeply amused. 

He wasn't nervous, to show up in front of a Tesco with a newly bought car in a tailored suit, he knew James would be there. He even let Sirius smudge deep green eyeshadow in the corner of his eyes and water line, giving him an almost cat eye effect.

Usually, it's Regulus who ends up staring in amazement at the way James looks, smells, speaks. This time it's James who stands in front of Regulus with wide eyes and parted lips.

"Wow." The taller man breathes out, shaking his head slowly but not blinking or moving his eyes. "You look... I think I could look at you forever."

"You're one to talk." Regulus retorts easily, dragging his eyes over James's body. James is wearing a suit as well, not tailored and the shirt is a little too small. Regulus is not complaining, wishes it was a little smaller. Wants to watch James pop the buttons off, rethinks that, wants to pop James's buttons off himself. "You're more beautiful than anything I've ever seen, my eyes were made only with the goal to see you."

He smiles at James' blush and offers his arm. Regulus may be shorter by almost a foot, but he will always be a gentleman. James takes his arm and slips his warm hand down to entwine their fingers.

James doesn't even flinch at how cold Regulus is, like holding hands with stone. Just bites his lip and blushes.

"I've been very nervous the last two days." James smiles, adjusting his glasses and Regulus gently starts to lead him down the road to the car. "You said formal wear, and I don't really go places that require that. Luckily I got paid recently so-"

"You won't be paying for anything." Regulus means to say it offhandedly, and it does come out that way but James gives him a very scrutinizing look.

"Why not? Do you think I can't?"

"I think you deserve to have everything handed to you on a platter made of 24 karat gold. Plus, I asked you on a date, didn't I? I do believe that means it's my responsibility to pay." Regulus smiles, loves the way James' eyes flick down to his lips, almost loses all self-control when the taller man licks his own.

"So where are we going?"

Regulus stops at the car and opens the passenger door for James, who stares at the car like it's a pile of money someone left on the ground.

"Holy shit how rich are you?" James trails his fingers lightly over the door as Regulus laughs.

"Rich enough to not understand your amazement, I didn't have a car so this was a bit of an impromptu purchase. I don't even know what it is, my brother ordered it for me online." James stares at the car then at Regulus, who just shrugs and gestures to the inside of the car.

"You bought a Bently." Regulus doesn't know if that's accurate, but James seems sure, so he nods. "Just so you could drive us to...?"

"Le Gavroche. It's French, I think you'll like it."

James' jaw drops and his hands fly up to run through his hair. The tan boy turns around to pace a few steps away before walking back with his hands clutched together in front of his mouth.

"I don't even know your name and you're taking me to the most expensive restaurant in London? Why? What's your play here?" James sounds less sincere in wanting to know and a little more accusing. 

"I'm sorry, I completely forgot to introduce myself, I'm Regulus Black." Regulus thinks maybe he shouldn't have listened to Sirius's advice about where to take James, should have braved the internet and looked up a place that was fancy but not too fancy. "Um, I'm not sure what you mean by 'what my play is' but I assure you the only intentions I have are to know you better. We don't have to go anywhere you don't want to. I'd be happy to take you to a McDonald's if you'd rather, truly."

James stares, Regulus is an open book though, still holding the door open and fully prepared to close it and walk to a closer, cheaper restaurant. It was absolute hell getting reservations at Le Gavroche, but that doesn't matter even a little bit if it's going to make James uncomfortable.

"How did you even get reservations there?" If Regulus could blush, he would, he thinks the younger boy might not like his answer. A little funny, that James seems to read his mind.

"Ah... well I called, they said no, so I made um... a charitable donation." Regulus bites his lip. "But I'm really serious- we can go wherever you want, anywhere. You sound Spanish, have you ever been to Spain? I can get us there in two hours-"

James stares harder and Regulus thinks now is a good time to walk it back.

"I mean, or we can just go to a drive-in. Do those still exist? No? I'm terribly outdated when it comes to all of this-"

"Regulus." James takes a deep breath and smiles, setting his chin on his clasped hands. Regulus shuts up and swallows. Maybe he is a little nervous. "We can... we can go to Le Gavroche but please, please." James steps forward and takes Regulus's hand, holding it gently between both of his, Regulus will agree to whatever comes out of that beautiful mouth with zero hesitation. "Next time, let me plan our date, okay? I don't need all of this fancy stuff to like you."

A dopey grin blooms on the Vampires face.

"There's a next time already?"

James blushes fiercely and drops their hands. Regulus imagines someone waving an apple in front of a starving man, thinks it's got to be a similar feeling. James finally gets into the car and Regulus shuts his door gently before jogging around the other side and climbing in.

"Okay, so I haven't really driven much since somewhere around 1969. Any new traffic laws I should be aware of?" Regulus looks to James, who's jaw is dropped again and he's staring like he's scared.

"Ha! Kidding!" Regulus flashes a grin and turns back to the wheel, hoping to God there aren't any wildly new traffic laws. He was not kidding.

The car ride is mostly quiet, Regulus focuses very hard on the road, he wouldn't ever forgive himself if he got them into a car crash. Eventually, James starts light conversation, and Regulus has to force himself from finding a shady spot to park and just jumping his bones. Warm caramel eyes keep following his lips every move, and it's deeply affecting him. 

Regulus missed the turn twice because he was busy listening to James talk, distracted by the honey tones and gentle lull of the man's voice. Everything about James is alluring and wonderful, he almost forgets how painful it is to go without when he has James laughing next to him, letting his dark curls mesh against the headrest and showing his teeth with every grin. 

They finally pull into the valet space and James grabs his arm as he moves to get out.

"Wait I- I need to tell you something." James bites his lip and Regulus quickly shuts his door again, holding a hand up to the valet.

"Have you changed your mind? Would you rather go someplace more austere?" Regulus wouldn't mind if he did, he's always caved to whatever James wants with zero shame.

"No, no- well, you might want to when I- no. It's okay, my friend made me aware that I have to tell you before we go any further or you spend any money on me." James seems very serious and Regulus thinks it's not the right time to point out that without James, he would be starving himself in his two-bedroom apartment and moping on the carpeted floor. Instead, he'd spent more money than he's ever had to touch before just so James could have a ride and a dinner, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

"Alright." Regulus mumbles, starting to catastrophize.

"I have cancer." A bomb drops on Regulus's catastrophizing, destroying any of his whimsical, borderline joyful, ideas of disinterest. "It's stage four, and the life-expectancy for me is about five years if I start following the health regimen my doctors made me."

Regulus just stares at James, memorizing the lines of his face, the pretty curls that fluff up and curl around dark ears. 

"I- I get it if you don't want to date a cancer patient, it wouldn't have been my choice three months ago either." James's mouth quirks up in an attempt to lighten the mood and Regulus reaches a hand forward to touch it, thinking if he feels it under his fingers that he might be able to remember it longer.

His middle finger brushes against the corner of full lips first, then his first, and his thumb rubs greedily along the boys' bottom lip. Regulus isn't sure how far technology has advanced, or how treatment could go, but he knows he's going to lose James. It's never changed how he's felt about the man, never will change the love that writhes under his fingertips as he guides James closer.

"I want to." He whispers gently and leaves the last of the space for James to close.

James searches his eyes for hesitance or fib, when he finds none his eyes light and burn with adoration. He closes the distance with a firm press of his lips to Regulus's, strong hands sliding up to cup a cold jaw and grip lowly into his green suit jacket.

Kissing James is like soaring the sky on wings made of feather and wax, everything feels clandestine, and the view is nothing but sparkling seas and an escaped prison behind you. It's nothing more than a dry rub of lips together but it feels like coming home to a warm bath and glass of wine. Everything clicks into place and the world feels so right for ten seconds.

Pulling away from James feels like wax dripping down his back and feathers dislodging, fluttering down to sea. 

"Are you sure?" James rubs his thumb over Regulus's cheek.

"James." Regulus says firmly, making sure their eyes meet. "I will stay with you, of course I will."

James's eyes flicker between Regulus's as his eyebrows draw together slightly, and that's when Regulus catches his slip.

"You haven't told me your name yet, have you?"

"No." James says, jaw tense under Regulus's fingers. "I haven't."