Showstopper

"Take a bow."
The song flows through the air from the radio on top of the kitchen island.
"You got everybody fooled, I got you figured out. Now you're choking on your words, oh, you should spit it out." The vocals are deeply pained and angry as the song continues on. "Know that I gave you the world, and you just gave me hell. And you gave me hell." James Potter is sat staring at the small sound system as the song fills the room completely and it feels like he can't breathe, absolutely flabbergasted on what he could have possibly done for his ex-lover Regulus Black to write and publish this song inspired by yours truly.

"Felt like a hundred punches, too many tough pills to stomach, I watched you making it public. Lights, camera, fuck it." Each lyric was specifically picked, but why? He's not even sure what he could have possibly done in order to upset Regulus in such a way. He continues to ruin every interaction through his mind trying to find where he went wrong, what he did, what he said. What he could've done differently as the next lyrics ring through the apartment.

"You're a showstopper. A bad liar, homie hopper, drama starter. All my friends are fucked, we all got you in common. You're so fake, and everyone should know about it. All the things I hate about you, yeah." Each lyric is like a punch to the gut. Homie hopper? James has always been loyal and Regulus knows that, not once has James given him any reason to believe otherwise. He knows that their relationship was secret, that not another soul knew of them but he made sure that anyone he interacted with publicly or privately could only ever be seen as friendly. Because to him, Regulus is everything and anything he could ever want. Why would he ever look at another when he already had his star. His one true light. The lyrics continued to wash over him and make his stomach turn and curl as if he might throw up if he continued to listen, it would truly make him sick. He instantly turned the radio off causing the apartment to go into a heartbreaking silence. How could Regulus break up with him with no explaintion and then text him a link to this fucking song and say "This is dedicated to you." What could he have done to piss Regulus off that badly? To change Regulus's perception of who James is? To make Regulus believe that he would ever betray him in such a way, as the words spin through his mind James's phone rings.

With shaking hands he picks it up to see who could possibly be calling right now, it's not Regulus it's Sirius.

Sirius instead of giving any actual greeting says instantly "Have you seen the photos of you circling the internet yet? Everyone is going CRAZY!"

It causes a surprised laugh to escape James as he replies softly "What photos?"

Sirius springs into his explanation sounding excited for whatever reason. "The photos of you and Lily. Looks to be in some cafe, most of them are just of you two ordering and then sitting down to talk but there's one of you reaching across the table to hug her, it kind of makes people are starting to ship you two!”

"When was this posted and why haven't I seen or heard of it until now?" James snaps as he stands up and starts to pace around in his kitchen before saying softly "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that. I'm just kind of sick of the fact I can't just go out for coffee with a friend and be even slightly close to them without it being turned into something completely different from the truth! You and I both know I was just excited that she had agreed to be featured in our upcoming album! She never works on albums with anyone else like this."

He hears Sirius sigh quietly on the other end of line before replying with what sounds like a smile in his voice, probably a sad one given the topic. "I know, and to answer that so lovely worded question about a week ago? Maybe longer, not really sure. It's all over twitter. Everyone is shipping the bloody hell out of the two of you. They all seem to think that there is some secret relationship between the two of you, how they got that idea I'm not sure. Plus if you were seeing someone I would be the first to know! Even if it was secret. To think I wouldn't know? Insane."
As the words slip from Sirius and into James ear he has this sinking guilt that decides to rear its ugly head.

"Uh.. yeah exactly Pads." The words feel like they are strangling James as he says them, knowing it's a lie. Maybe if it had been anyone other than Regulus it wouldn't have been a secret from Sirius. But of course life couldn't be that easy and he just had to go and fall in love with his best friend's baby brother.

The next words to come from Sirius were like acid being poured into James' ears as he says "Anyway, did you see the new song that Reggie's band came out with? Wonder who pissed him off this badly. Maybe I'll give him a call! Not that he'll tell me anyway, if he did it'd be like pulling teeth to get the answer and I'm not sure it's worth it."

James instantly goes silent as he tries to shake this dead feeling inside him as all the dots start to connect themselves. This. This is why Regulus had gone radio silent and had broken up with him, the lyrics all make so much sense now. But why hadn't he just talked to James about it, why hadn't Reggie given him the benefit of the doubt and talked it out with him.. Was he really that bad of a boyfriend? That it was even imaginable that he could have done something like this to his star? The silence feels too overwhelming and that's when he realizes he's still on the phone with Sirius who is growing increasingly impatient the longer it takes him to reply.
James shakes his head trying to clear it as he replies voice sounding like he hadn't used it in weeks as he tries to keep his emotions in check. "Sorry, what was that?" He hears the slightest groan from the other end of the call and shrinks into himself a little as he feels guilty for having ignored Sirius, even if it was only for a few minutes regardless. To James it was so much more, he was always trying to be perfect, to be the best version of himself and right now he felt like the complete opposite.

But before he could sink further into his spiraling thoughts Sirius repeated himself "I said, do you know anything? About Reg, I mean."

This could not have gotten any worse, how was he supposed to tell Sirius the truth? He couldn't not yet, but he felt absolutely distraught at having to blatantly lie to Sirius. Because this time was different, it wasn't just something he was avoiding telling him. He was going to have to actively lie?! He felt like his entire world was flipping upside down, no collapsing. Because they'd never lied to one another, ever. He feels his hands start to shake slightly as his anxiety rises and he finally says as strongly as he can when he feels as if he's sinking. "No, sorry. But I wouldn't suggest calling him either, you know how he is. You might just end up arguing instead, you know? And that would just put you both into a bad mood, it definitely wouldn't help him in any way either you know?"

He waits for what feels like eternity for Sirius to say anything afterwards but in truth was probably less than two minutes, eventually he hears a small chuckle as Sirius says "You know, you're right. I'll leave it and let him reach out to me if he wants to. I'll make sure to let him know the song is great though, maybe a tweet? So he doesn't feel obligated to answer right away you know?" At his response James takes a small breath seeing as the conversation seems to be taking a turn in the right direction, meaning away from the song and Regulus's story behind it.

He has no clue what he'd do if Sirius figured it out this way, in a way that makes James look as if he was hurting his baby brother even if that's not true. He knows how protective Sirius is with Regulus and it wouldn't matter if James was his best friend, no one hurts Regulus without Sirius having a say in it and getting justice for his baby brother. "A tweet might be the best way currently, yeah." He says quietly. "Anyway Pads, I'm going to go. Got some stuff to work on, okay?" He prays that Sirius doesn't ask what that could be because he has no idea how to explain how he's feeling or what he's struggling to fix and a million questions would only raise his anxiety right now.

"Sure thing Prongs, love you mate talk soon." He says without any further information. James hears himself say "Love you too Pads." as if he isn't even himself at this point, like he's watching as someone controls what he says and does as he hangs up and sets the phone down. Before staring down at it, unsure of what to do next.