He's imperfect but he tries, he is lonely most of the time
Most students were wondering why there were five Gryffindors in front of the Slytherin common room. Something had to have happened and that something had to do with Sirius Black. Everyone knew that the marauders were inseparable, but one morning everything changed.
Most of the students wondered why Sirius had lost so much weight, or why he always looked so frail. Why James Potter, who was close to Sirius, no longer spoke to him. Why did Remus Lupin, who was her boyfriend, simply give her looks of disappointment and hatred.
They also wondered why the supposedly brightest star in the sky was no longer shining as brightly.
****
"Barty, I'm begging you, tell me how my brother is."
"Sorry, Reggie, I can't do that. Go out, please."
"He's my brother! My damn brother! I deserve to know how he is!"
"Regulus, i said, get. out."
At that moment, Barty looked up when she heard the little one's sobs.
"You do not get it? He is my everything. It's all I have... I won't forgive myself if something happens to him and I won't regret it if I do something reckless, because I swear to Merlin that I'm going to murder those five."
"I know, Reggie, i know. I want to kill them too."
"Well, go and do what you want and let me see my brother."
"...Okay." Barty stood up and walked over to Regulus, handing him a small vial with a blue liquid inside.
"Just, if he wakes up, make sure he drinks this. I'm going to make a coat out of lion skin, excuse me." With that, Barty left the room, giving the brothers privacy.
Regulus put the bottle away and approached the bed where Sirius was. Sirius, who had once lit up the room with his presence. Sirius, who had once jumped up and punched someone just because they had stepped in Regulus's foot in their first year. Sirius, who didn't mind receiving the punishments that were meant for Regulus, just to keep his little star safe.
"Hey Siri... If you're listening to me, if that muggle movie shit is real, I'm begging you, open your eyes, wake up, please. I swear, I can't imagine a world without you. You have kept me safe all my life, I'm sorry I couldn't do the same."
Regulus didn't know when he had started crying, he could only feel the tears on his cheeks, the taste of salt in his mouth.
"Do you remember in my third year, that I wrote you a song? I told you that you would never listen to it, because it was not ready yet. Ok, I lied. The song was always ready and that was going to be your gift. I was planning to humiliate myself in front of all your friends just to see you smile."
Regulus noticed that Sirius's hair was tangled, he knew how much his brother would hate that. He took a brush from the nightstand and began to brush that black hair delicately.
"It's stupid, you know? Maybe you don't listen to me but... I think I can greenlight the song. Unfortunately I don't have a piano with me, but if you wake up, I swear to Merlin I'm going to sing it in the great hall."
Regulus took a deep breath, with his voice breaking, he began to sing a soft melody.
"It's not simple to say
Most days I don't recognize me
That these shoes and this apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them
It's not easy to know
I'm not anything like I used to be
Although it's true
I was never attention's sweet center
I still remember that boy..."
"He's imperfect, but he tries
He is good, but he lies
He is hard on herself
He is broken and won't ask for help
He is messy, but he's kind
He is lonely most of the time
He is all of this mixed up
And baked in a beautiful pie
He is gone but he used to be mine"
He didn't realize when he started crying, again, he was simply distracted by brushing his brother's hair and making some cute braids.
"Who'll be reckless just enough
Who'll get hurt
But who learns how to toughen up when he's bruised
And gets used by a man who can't love
And then he'll get stuck and be scared
Of the life that's inside him
Growing stronger each day
Till it finally reminds him
To fight just a little
To bring back the fire in him yes
That's been gone but used to be mine"
Once he finished singing and making those braids, he stood up, going to get some paper to wipe away his tears.
"Stop playing dumb and get over the damn time!" Regulus shouted, because he didn't understand how the Gryffindors thought they could trick him, Regulus Arcturus Black.
And sure enough, one by one, the Gryffindors filed into the room, looking tired and regretful. Good, Regulus thought, they deserve it.
"Reg... We are very sorry for how we treated Sirius." Remus said.
"That's all? One damn apology and they think I'll let them go back to talking to him like nothing? You guys are really idiots..."
Regulus was about to continue speaking, when he suddenly heard a soft moan. He quickly returned to the bed where his brother was and went to sit nearby.
"Siri... Don't worry, you're fine, you're safe."
"Reggie? Where I am?"
"In your bedroom. Your new bedroom."
Regulus smiled softly, causing Sirius to start crying, hugging his little brother.
It was surprising how the roles had been reversed. Before, Regulus was the one who clung to Sirius as if he were his only savior. After all, they only had each other.
"Reggie... They didn't come... And it was all Lupin's idea! From the person I loved most. The damage I did to him was unconscious, It wasn't my fault, but he decided to hurt me! Oh Reggie, you have no idea how much I hate them!"
Ok, there were a lot of emotions Remus had about that. First, Sirius called him Lupin. No Moony, no Remus, no Rem, Lupin. Second, Sirius had also just said that he hated him, not directly but it was understood. And third... He was right. Remus knowingly and intentionally hurt him. He had just shamelessly hurt the love of his life.
Oh, this was going to hurt more than any other moon.
Sirius became aware of the boys' presence when he heard a soft sob, he broke away from the hug and looked at the Gryffindors with fearful eyes.
"Reg, can you give us a minute?"
Regulus hesitated, but if it was what Sirius wanted, it would be fine. He nodded and left the room.
"Siri... We had no idea. We are so sorry."
"No, Potter, you have no right to call me that. It's Sirius from now on. They hurt me because they have no idea, they didn't let me explain what really happened, They even trusted Snape more than me! At Snape! Incredible. From now on, I don't want to see to none of you."
"Sirius..." Remus approached the bed, tears in his eyes, and rose to his knees. He took Sirius's delicate hands in his.
"I'm begging you, give me a chance. Just one. I'll fix everything, I swear. I can't live without you, my star. I feel like I'm going to die."
At that moment, Sirius couldn't help but hold back his laughter.
"...What's so funny about this?"
"Oh, nothing. Only I prayed the same thing that night, remember? And remember how you told me no and to go to hell?"
"Yes, I remember it. And I am willing for you to insult me and tell me whatever you want, Because that means I'll be able to hear your voice speak to me. It doesn't matter if it's just so you can curse me."
"Pathetic." Sirius removed his hands from Remus's, standing up and going to open the door.
"Get out."
"Wait..."
"If i said, get out, all of you, LEAVE. THIS. FUCKING. ROOM." Sirius screamed. The spitting image of Walburga Black at that time. His eyes only showed an indomitable storm.
The Gryffindors were stunned but began to leave. When Remus was about to leave, Sirius grabbed him by the shirt, standing on tiptoe so he could whisper something to him.
"One chance, Lupin. That's all I'll give you. Just as you asked me for space, I ask you for it too. But, if you want us to come back, we must first bleed again. Bleed and heal." He said with his voice clipped, giving him a soft kiss on his cheek and pushing him out of the room.
After all, they both knew that in life and in death, they belonged to each other.