It's My Party And I Cry If I Want To

Five months had passed since that moon. Five months since the Marauders gave Sirius the silent treatment. Five months since he took refuge with Reggie and his friends. Five months since all his friends and the love of his life decided to hate him. Sirius knows he deserved it, Regulus, on the other hand, no.

"I can't believe you never told them what really happened!" Regulus said.

"Reggie, don't worry, it wasn't that bad..." 

"Wasn't it that bad? Wasn't it that bad?! Sirius, Snape literally forced you to-"

"Regulus, lower your voice. Nobody can know that. Did you hear me? Nobody." 

Regulus didn't respond, he simply nodded.

"Anyway, what are we going to do today?"

"Today? I planned to study and..."

"You must be kidding. Siri, today it's your birthday!"

"My birthday?"

Oh it's true. Today is his birthday. After these horrible months, he hadn't even thought about that. Before, he loved this date. Moony always prepared surprises for him. This year no. 

"Right. Uhm..."

"Let's have a party!" Pandora said. The blonde girl joined them a few minutes later, with Barty, Evan and Dorcas. They had been his refuge during these months.

"A party?"

"Yes! After all you, deserve it!"

"I... I deserve It?"

"Of course my dear!" 

Sirius nodded. He said goodbye to the boys, promising to fix everything at lunch. A party... It didn't seem like such a bad idea. His first party without his friends... Oh, how it was hurting. He decided that he had had enough, so, Instead of going to class, he ran to his common room. To his old room. Because yes, he had been kicked out of his room after that night. Minnie had allowed him to stay with his brother, since she was aware of the situation (I would never say it out loud, but I had a certain preference for Sirius).

He opened his trunk, looking for some things he had bought so long ago, things he thought that at some point they would be useful. 

Sirius spend all morning making invitations. The invitations were on black paper, (Ironic, Sirius thought) Furthermore, the content was written in beautiful white cursive font, that glowed in the dark, It also had several stars and constellations as decoration.

Once they were all ready, he left that room, carrying the invitations.

He waited until lunch time and came over with his old friends (To Regulus' horror) 

"Uhm, guys? Can—Can we talk?" He looked very nervous, looking into his bag at those invitations.

The first thing he received was cold and hateful looks. Except for Marlene, despite everything, she was always with him. She was the only person at the table who smiled and nodded. 

"Please be quick and direct, Black." Remus said.

"Fine, thanks. Listen, I know we've had problems but... But today is my birthday and—and... I was thinking... And, I'd like to invite you to a little party I'm throwing, with the slytherin's. Reggie will be there, Pron—James." Sirius knew that James and Regulus were dating. But after the incident, Reggie stopped talking to James.

"Really, Black? You expect us to go to your party after all?" Lily said.

"Oh, It was just an idea..."

Unfortunately, Sirius didn't notice the evil smile that formed on his moony's lips.

"Sure, Sirius. We will go more than happy." Remus said

"Really? Thank you!" Sirius looked so happy and cute it hurt. With that smile, he give them the invitations. He thanked them once more and went to sit at the Slytherin table.

"What the fucking, in the name of Salazar, was that?!" Barty said.

"They said they would come to my party. Maybe it's a good opportunity to..."

"To tell you what REALLY happened, right?"

"...Yes, actually, yes."

"Oh, Sirius! I'm so happy for you!" Pandora said. She kissed him the cheek and continued eating.

"Well, rest assured, at least Marlene will come." Dorcas said, with a huge smile on her lips. 

"Yes yes, how nice. Are we invited?"

"Of course, Reggie!"

And so they began to talk calmly. Barty made sure Sirius ate at least a little more than he did yesterday. The two of them had developed a strange relationship, since, it seemed that Barty was the only one who knew how to control Sirius in his attacks, and he was the only one who had enough knowledge in medicine and potions to make sure he was okay.

As the Slytherins helped set up the venue for the party, Sirius was getting ready. He wanted to look pretty for tonight. Especially since in recent months he had looked so haggard and worn out. Without eating, without sleeping well, Sirius looked like a ghost. Just a few weeks ago he had regained a little weight, not like the he lost, but it was something.

He showered very well, putting on some of his favorite lotion, After all, it was his birthday so he was allowed to look pretty.

He put on a red corset-type shirt, tight leather pants, his boots and his leather jacket. Also, for the first time in months, decided to wear a moon necklace. He put on a little makeup and fixed his hair, looking in the mirror and smiling at his appearance, he was beautiful and he knew it, after so much fighting, he knew it.

Satisfied, he headed to the place of his party, There were still a few hours left but he arrived early to make a small detail for everyone. 

The place was beautiful, he would have to pay Dorcas and Evan too much. There were stars, lights, everything. 

"Oh, Sirius" Evan said.

"Hey Evan... And Dorcas?"

"She left a little early to get ready and look beautiful for Marlene, you know."

"She is very cute and Marlene definitely loves her... Anyway, you can go now. I will take care of the rest."

"What? No, i'm ok."

"Yeah yeah, whatever you say, go and be cute for Barty!"

"Sirius Orion!" Evan blushed up to his ears for that comment.

"Sorry sorry, but it's true. Relax, I'll be fine. I insist, go and get ready."

"Hm, ok, only because there was only one thing left to accommodate, but that's a surprise." 

After a while, Evan left, leaving Sirius. Sirius began to make that detail, which consisted of a flower crown for each of his friends, but with different flowers for each one. In addition, he added a little glitter and small stars.

While doing all that, he started to overthink. His friends were forgiving him... He would definitely give his best at this party. He would get Moony and his life back, but without leaving the Slytherins aside, They had become his world these months and he wanted it to be like this forever.

After about two hours, everything was ready and perfect. Pandora was the first to arrive, because of course, Pandora was always the first to attend somewhere, only too happy to show off her outfit and hairstyle. She looked beautiful, Sirius had to admit.

"You look gorgeous, Siri!"

"I think you look impressive. You should be the brightest star of all!"

"Aww, thank you!" 

"Here, I made this for you."

Sirius gave her the flower crown, which was made of daisies and small flowers of all colors. 

They sat down to chat for a few moments waiting for the others... Their talk turned into anxiety, since it was already late and no one else had arrived.

One, two, three, five hours had passed and nothing. Nobody had arrived. Nobody.

That is, until Marlene, Dorcas and Regulus entered.

"I'm sorry for the delay! James extended the practice and you know, I found baby Black and brought him, as well as my beautiful girlfriend... Oh no."

Sirius was sitting on the floor, finishing more wreaths, he didn't know who they were for now, because no one was coming, that was the only thing he knew.

"... Where the fuck is James Potter?! I'm going to murder him!"

"Reggie... It's okay, I should have expected it... After everything I did..."

"No, Sirius, no! None of that was your damn fault!" Marlene said.

"No, yes it was." Sirius said with his voice breaking and tears starting to come out of his eyes. "It was. Don't you see it? The only thing I do and the only thing I'm good at is destroying everything... I ruined everything. My birth, my friends, you, Reggie, Minnie, everyone knows. Sirius Black is a shitty person. Sirius Black just ruins everything. Sirius Black doesn't do anything useful. Sirius Black... He's useless."

"Siri..."

"And it's ok. It's ok. There is no need to say no, I know, everything I touch or everything I do is to bring sadness... I'm no good for anything. I'm—I'm" Suddenly, he felt like he was starting to lack air.

"Sirius!" Regulus and Pandora quickly knelt at his side, trying to calm him down.

"I am useless. I'm just in the way. I should die. Nothing I do is worth it. Nothing. I hate myself. I just want to die! I don't want to exist!"

"Marlene, go find Barty!"

"But..."

"NOW. LOOK FOR HIM NOW!" Regulus was angry. Worried, but more angry. I wanted to give a good deal to all those idiots who called themselves good people.

They heard how Marlene was running, but meanwhile, a note fell on top of them. It was a note on a simple piece of parchment, Sirius ignored the protests, because he recognized that handwriting. 

"You deserve it. —R.J.L."

That only made the attack begin to become stronger, as hundreds and hundreds of notes continued to arrive.

"Moony is not a monster, you are. —L.E."

"After all, you are a Black! —J.F.P."

"Identical to your mother. —P.P"

"You disgust me. —M.M."

Dorcas made sure that all the notes disappeared, but it was too late, Sirius had seen more than enough to start hyperventilating and wanting to hurt himself with something. He found a piece of glass and quickly grabbed it, starting to hurt himself.

"Sirius!" Pandora practically screamed, taking that glass away.

Dorcas grabbed him by the waist, trying to keep him under control while Regulus whispered nice and positive things to him, all through tears. They were definitely going to kill the Gryffindors (Except Marlene)

****

Marlene ran all over the castle, until she finally found Barty. I was with Evan, sitting in the great dining room while Barty was trying to do Evan's makeup.

"I don't know how the fuck Sirius and Marlene make this look so easy! Is not easy! Rose, stop laughing!

But Evan DID stop laughing, not because of Barty, but because of the group that had just entered. Barty watched where Evan looked and practically felt her blood boil. Sirius's friends. Everyone laughing like they made a big prank. Oh fucking no.

"Do you think I have enough with those notes?"

"My dear Lily, we can always send more. He deserves it, he's a Black after—" James couldn't continue, because someone had given him an punch. 

"Don't you dare talk shit about Sirius! You don't know anything! They are stupids! Only Marlene and Sirius are the only decent ones in that stupid house!" Evan was practically furious.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Rosier?!" James threatened to hit him, but before that happened, Marlene had pushed him away.

"Evan is right, Potter. They are idiots! They have caused Sirius to stop breathing!"

"What did you say?" 

"Just as you heard it, he's not breathing! He's having a panic attack because of you! Because they didn't come to the party, and instead they're here laughing and... What notes, Evans? SEND ME TO AZKABAN BECAUSE I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" 

"I wondered how funny this would be if they knew that Severus used an unforgivable on Sirius and then forced him to drink verisaterum, not to mention what he did to him afterwards. Want to know? Very good! Severus touched it. Saying that he didn't know why Lupin found "that attractive"."

"...No, Severus didn't... He didn't touch my bo—"

"You nothing!" Marlene said. She was about to hit Remus, when she felt someone lift her off the ground.

"Barty." Remus said.

"Is Crouch for you, Lupin."

"Oh, Barty! Fast! To the room! Sirius wasn't breathing when I left and with everything these morons said I don't know what happened to him..."

"Rose, please go to the room and bring me my equipment! Now! Marlene, take me to Sirius, quickly!"

The three boys set off on their way, Marlene and Barty being followed by the marauders and the girls. When they arrived, the view was brutal.

Sirius was practically bleeding, with Dorcas trying to hold him down. Regulus crying and Pandora trembling, when they saw Barty and Marlene they smiled, but as soon as they looked at who were behind, Regulus stood up and led them out of the room.

"You're idiots, all of you. They make me feel inexplicable disgust... I hate you! I want you dead and away from my brother! Especially you, Lupin."

"Reggie, please..." James tried.

"No! No, Potter, for you it's Black from now on!"

Regulus was going to continue arguing, but then he watched Evan enter with Barty's healing kit. He quickly followed him and knelt next to his brother, where Barty was also standing, trying to control the bleeding. 

The next few minutes were unreal: Barty yelling at Dorcas to help him carry him to the bedroom. Evan banning the Gryffindors from entering, of course, letting Marlene in, Pandora trying to calm him down. Everything was so unreal... 

And you'll wonder why no one had gotten up or why Filch hadn't found them... Well, that was because at lunch, they had put sedative in the teachers' and Filch's glasses.

After what seemed like an eternity, Barty left the bedroom and also the common room, going directly to the Gryffindors and giving them a look of hatred and disgust.

"Pray." Barty said. "Pray for him to wake up. Because I don't think it will happen tonight, the night of his birthday, by the way. Congratulations, lurkers, this was the best prank. This time, it's going to cost someone their life."

At that moment, Regulus burst into tears and cursed the Gryffindors. And the Gryffindors? Well, they were stunned and crying, wishing they could turn back time.

Because tonight, a star can die.