Ever since Sirius had met Barty Crouch Jr. at thirteen years old, he had a strong hatred for him. His hatred began the moment Barty was sorted into Slytherin the same year as Regulus and sat right next to his little brother. He knew Regulus was going to be sorted into Slytherin. Hell, he had even told his little brother to beg the hat to put him there if needed to avoid what had happened to Sirius after his sorting. Sirius knew it was irrational. Regulus was bound to make his own friends in his house. It didn’t make it any less painful to see Regulus smile at his new friend, a first step in the breakdown of Sirius and Regulus’s close-knit relationship.
Barty knew that Sirius disliked him early on. He could feel Sirius’s glares from across the Great Hall and in the corridors. It was the same look Regulus gave James when he and Sirius would walk together. Barty had never thought much of Sirius outside of being Regulus’s troubled brother. Of course, there was talk of the blighted Black heir, and he wasn’t fond of the company Sirius kept. Although Regulus had told no specifics, Barty had an idea of how Sirius was treated at home. He just wanted to keep Regulus as far away from that as he could.
Barty was unaware of the details surrounding the incident that had put Severus Snape, James Potter, and Remus Lupin in the hospital wing. He knew that Regulus was worried about his brother and that Sirius had isolated himself from his usual close-knit group of friends. He would often see Sirius walking quickly down the corridors with his gaze down, avoiding eye contact with anyone. This was severely out of character for him, as Sirius was normally the loudest person in whatever room he was in and naturally drew attention to himself. This was a completely different Sirius. When he tried to ask Regulus what had happened, even he wasn’t completely aware of the situation. Barty told himself to keep a closer eye on the elder Black since Sirius’s distress was beginning to transfer to Regulus.
—
Barty darted out of the Great Hall trying not to make eye contact with anyone, leaving his half-eaten lunch abandoned on the table. Evan had called his name but knew better than to follow him out. The letter he received from his father had put a sour taste in his mouth and he wanted nothing more than a smoke to clear his taste buds and mind. There was usually a group of people behind the greenhouses with cigarettes, so he headed there to bum one as he had forgotten his pack in his room. What he didn’t expect to find was Sirius Black leaning against the side of the structure, inhaling smoke deep into his lungs with his head held back and eyes closed, with several cigarette butts surrounding his feet. Barty stopped in his tracks, but Sirius had heard him coming and glanced over. Barty couldn’t help but notice the redness around his dead-looking eyes as Sirius quickly wiped away what Barty assumed were tears from his eyes.
“The fuck do you want?” Sirius said as he was trying his best to ensure his voice didn’t shake but failed.
“Just came to smoke,” Barty replied.
“I don’t see any cigarettes on you.”
Barty sighed because it was true. He then stepped closer and reached out his hand toward Sirius’s half-smoked cigarette. At first, he was taken aback at the sudden closeness of his brother’s best friend and his audacity at the assumption Sirius would be willing to share. After a couple of seconds of recovery, he sighed and handed Barty the cigarette. Sirius watched as Barty inhaled the smoke, how his eyes closed with a sense of relief as he held it in his lungs, and watched his mouth as he exhaled. When Barty went to hand back the almost used-up cigarette, Sirius just shook his head and pulled another one from the pack in his jacket pocket as well as his lighter. He could feel Barty’s gaze on him as he lit the end and took his first pull.
“You look like shit,” Barty said quietly.
Sirius couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh at that.
“I’m sure I don’t look worse than normal to you, Barty,” Sirius replied.
“Yeah, alright pretty boy,”
This made Sirius look back up into Barty’s eyes, looking for a sarcastic grin. Instead, he saw Barty smirking at him, as though he knew he was being purposely flirtatious.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Barty asked quietly.
Sirius almost dropped his cigarette as it was going towards his mouth. “What?”
“I asked if you wanted to talk about it- why you’re out here all alone crying instead of with your annoying ass friends in the Great Hall.”
“I was not crying,”
“Listen, I don’t give a fuck if you want to talk or not. It just seemed like something I should say”
“Barty Crouch caring about my feelings?”
“Oh god no, but I know when someone needs to let off some steam. So, I'll ask you again- do you want to talk about it?”
Sirius turned away from Barty again and brought the cigarette to his lips. If he was honest with himself, he did want to rant. He wanted to break down right now and tell Barty the unspeakable thing he had done to the love of his life. How he had betrayed all of his friends’ trust and how he was finally, unwillingly, living up to the Black legacy for which he was born. He also wanted to scream about how he was also failing his little brother as he felt Regulus drift even further from him. “Not really,” was all that came out of his mouth.
“Need something to take your mind off of it?” Barty said a little too quickly. He internally cursed himself, but still took a step forward until he was only about a stride away from Sirius, whose back was still pressed against the side of the greenhouse.
This time, it was Sirius’s turn to smirk. Barty had to bite down hard on his inner cheek to keep himself from letting a slight blush escape. “What did you have in mind?” Sirius asked with a knowing look in his eyes, putting the cigarette between his lips again.
‘Fuck it,’ Barty thought as he took that final step towards Sirius, grabbed the cigarette out of his mouth, and replaced it with his lips. He felt Sirius slightly flinch back at his touch, and he immediately let go, ready to stop if Sirius didn’t want this. Didn’t want him. Sirius looked right into Barty’s eyes with that same dead expression, but with a slight glimpse of mischief in his eyes that had been missing for a while. Sirius then grabbed Barty’s hips, turned him around, and slammed him into the greenhouse before Barty even realized what was happening. He wasn’t sure if he was expecting SIrius’ fist or his lips to make contact with him next. He probably deserved the first, but was glad when it was the latter. Sirius kissed him with a fervor, while slightly biting Barty’s lower lip. He kept his mouth slightly open, allowing Sirius entry with his tongue, which Sirius eagerly accepted.
After a couple of seconds, Sirius withdrew and asked, “Are you bleeding?” Barty just smiled and said that he had bitten his cheek a little too hard only minutes before. Sirius just sniggered and kissed Barty even harder. It seemed as though his tongue was searching for the blood in Barty’s mouth. The thought made Barty let out a slight involuntary groan. He felt Sirius slightly smile against his mouth as his lips left Barty’s mouth and attached to Barty’s neck. He let out a slight whimper at the loss of contact but was quickly brought back to releasing slight moans as he felt Sirius leaving marks in the crook of his neck just below his jawbone. Sirius felt a slight satisfaction at pulling those noises out of Barty.
He slowly worked his way back to his lips and felt completely in charge until Barty grabbed Sirius' sides tightly and slammed him against the greenhouse. He felt Barty’s knee slip between his legs as he started attacking Sirius’s neck with bites that brought out sounds he had never made with anyone else. The sting of Barty’s teeth followed by the softness of his tongue brought shivers to his skin. He managed to work Sirius’s jacket off without removing his mouth from his neck. Barty lifted his shirt and began working sloppy kisses down Sirius’s chest and stomach. When he reached the top of Sirius’s pants, he whispered, “Can I?”
“Please, yes god, please,” Sirius managed to sputter out before he felt his belt buckle being undone.
—
Sirius and Barty had started smoking together nearly every day behind the greenhouses, threatening anyone else around so they could have their privacy. In between cigarettes, they would share long, passionate kisses that had them both gasping for air afterward.
Sirius felt more content than he had in days when he was with someone like Barty- someone who understood the rot inside himself. Someone who didn’t try to make Sirius a better person. He accepted him for the traitorous and broken person he thought he was. He may not have known what happened that night, but Sirius was sure Barty knew he did something terrible to lose his best friends. He didn’t deserve Remus, James, or Peter, and Barty never mentioned them. He never questioned Sirius’s isolation or took pity on him. It was a breath of fresh air to not have concerning eyes boring into him all the time. Barty seemed to want to use Sirius exclusively for his body, and Sirius was more than willing, considering he didn’t feel like he was worth much more anymore.
Barty had never considered pursuing Sirius before that day at the greenhouses. He had always felt an attraction to him, sure, but he assumed that had more to do with his feelings for Regulus than anything else. But, Barty craved touch and affection just like Sirius did. He saw an opportunity and he took it- nothing more, nothing less. What would be the harm in indulging himself if this was going to be a casual fling?
They also began sneaking out of their rooms to spend the night in the Room of Requirement together. Sirius had been sleeping there since ‘the incident’, therefore Barty was the only one who had to dodge probing questions from his fellow dormmates. They all assumed he was sneaking out to shag someone, but they never were able to guess who. Barty refused to tell a single soul. He didn’t want news getting back to Regulus that he was sleeping with his brother, as he was still attempting to sort out his complicated feelings for the younger Black. He also didn’t want the news to somehow reach his father, who had not been so accepting of him dating a boy before.
And so, Barty began confiding in Sirius. He found Sirius to be a great listener, and if he could keep their relationship a secret, why not burden him with some more of his baggage? He talked about his father- his unrealistic expectations, the way he treated Barty and his mother, and his coping mechanisms. “You’re one of them, actually,” Barty explained.
“What, a coping mechanism?” Sirius replied.
“Yep. Sorry, Black, you’re not my first.”
“Well, maybe that’s a coping mechanism we have in common.”
The more Barty opened up to Sirius, the more Sirius found himself telling Barty about his own home life. Of course, he left out major details, but it felt nice to rant to someone who understood his situation. Someone who wouldn’t just apologize and ask if he was okay. The only sentiment Sirius received from Barty about his traumas was a silent gratuitous comment from Barty: “Thank you for protecting Regulus all of these years.” In that moment, all the previous hate that Sirius had felt towards Barty for being close to his brother faded. He understood how much Regulus meant to Barty. He wanted to thank Barty for being there for Regulus, but couldn’t seem to quite get the words out.
—
Though their relationship was developing, they couldn’t help but argue every time they were together. Whether it was about classes, drama about other students, or quidditch, they could never agree with each other. Sirius and Barty both knew to aim where it hurt when it came to insults. They would nitpick at anything the other would say and would argue until it ended with them desperately kissing and touching each other.
“I hate you so fucking much,” Barty would say when he went up for air in between kisses.
“Good, because I hate you too,” Sirius would reply.
They never apologized to each other for these fights and insults. They knew that the other was unpredictable and that their relationship was built off of lust. They never explained their actions to each other and never asked for an explanation.
—
“Why don’t you leave? Run away?” Barty whispered one night as Sirius was lying on his bare chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.
Sirius looked up at Barty with a confused look in his eyes. “I can’t leave Regulus alone in that house.”
“He’ll survive. You won’t.”
Sirius let himself consider that for a long moment. Finally, instead of burdening himself with this never-ending train of thought, he turned the question back on Barty. “Why don’t you leave?”
Barty just gave him a smirk and replied, “Don’t worry, I have a plan.” Sirius didn’t ask him to elaborate.
—
As time went on, Sirius began talking more and more with his original group of friends. The original animosity over what had happened seemed to have simmered. He and Barty were still meeting up, but Sirius began to show up behind the greenhouses and at the Room of Requirement less and less frequently. At first, Barty ignored the hurt in his chest he felt when he realized Sirius wasn’t coming to meet him every day.
Barty never imagined he would have ever developed true feelings for Sirius. When he saw Sirius and Remus talking a little too closely one day, a sudden feeling of intense jealousy and possessiveness overtook Barty. At that moment, he wanted to break Remus’s jaw to ensure he would never be able to smile at Sirius the way he was at that moment. ‘Fuck’ he thought as he smoked alone, trying to get thoughts of Sirius out of his head. It was evident that Sirius’s love for Remus had not diminished in their time apart. If anything, Sirius looked at Remus with more adoration than he ever had. It was then that Barty realized he needed to break it off immediately. In no universe could this end well if Barty decided to give in to his feelings for Sirius. And the longer he allowed this to drag out, the worse it would hurt.
So, the next time Sirius arrived in the Room of Requirement, Barty allowed himself to kiss Sirius one last time, his tongue lingering on his lips a second longer than usual, trying to soak up the taste of Sirius so he would never forget it. Then, he told Sirius that he was ending things.
“Why?” Sirius whispered. He didn’t look surprised, but it was impossible to miss the disappointment in his eyes- those piercing gray eyes that Barty had become too used to.
“Because I fucking fell for you, and you love someone else. I can’t keep this up knowing you will inevitably go back to him. I don’t want to get in too deep. This would only end badly for the both of us.”
Sirius sighed with understanding and nodded his head. He glanced at Barty’s lips and looked as though he was going to kiss Barty one last time. But, he averted his gaze, which left Barty partly relieved. If Sirius had kissed him again, he wasn’t sure if he would be able to quit. Sirius turned and left the room, leaving Barty alone with his thoughts and Sirius’s lingering touch that would follow him for a little while longer.