scene
Like you said before- it’s not your scene.
But, like always, Remus bitched and moaned to you all day that he’ll be alone if you didn’t go, that you know Sirius and James will go off on their own, please, mate, I’ll make it up to you. You made the mistake of looking at his ridiculous puppy eyes before rolling your own and agreeing to go to Sirius’s stupid party.
That’s how you end up here, squished into an armchair with Remus. His arm is slung around your shoulder so you can fit into the seat together; he’d sat down after you, handing you a cup of something that tastes like firewhiskey and sweets. He's lost his tie and undone the top few buttons of his shirt, his sleeves rolled to his elbows, looking loose and relaxed. You’ve been murmuring to each other between sips, his warm torso shaking with laughter against you. Your cup is already almost empty, and your cheeks ache from smiling.
The party’s in full swing- you can feel the music in your chest, and the room is warm with movement and conversation. It seems like all of the older Gryffindors are here, plus a few students from other houses. James is loudly singing along to a song you don’t recognize, twirling Lily around the floor, attempting to serenade her. Groups of friends dance together, drinks in the air. Couples sway in tangles of limbs, eyes half-lidded.
You knock back the rest of your cup and grab Remus’s empty one from his loose hand. You stand, stumbling a little. The shock of cold where Remus once was makes you frown.
“Easy,” he laughs, his hand flying up to your back to steady you. His accent is already thickening from the alcohol. “You alrigh' to make it to the table and back?”
You scoff in response, sending him a joking glare as you walk away. Shuffling through the crowd, you catch James’s eye and grin. He sends you a wink, blowing you a kiss over a familiar head of hair in front of him. Lily, your roommate, turns around to face you. Her green eyes brighten when they meet yours, freckled face flushed, and she pulls James over.
“Y/N! I didn’t know you came, thank god!” she yells over the music, grabbing your wrist and leaning close to your ear. Red hair brushes your face as she presses a friendly kiss to your cheek, warm and tipsy.
“Been over there with Rem!” you gesture behind you. “It’s too fuckin’ loud- I’m getting drinks, have fun, wear protection!” you yell, eyes flicking between James and Lily. She smacks you, and James throws his head back with laughter. You duck away from her attacks, grinning, and manage to break through the crowd to where the drinks are.
You set the cups down on the table, pouring carefully, swaying slightly to the music. Someone changed the record to a wizard artist you aren’t particularly fond of, but it’s loud and the bass shakes the floor under your shoes.
Remus has been drinking more than you- he always gets a bit impulsive the week before a full moon. He usually isn’t much of a drinker. You make sure to put a heavier pour of firewhiskey in your cup.
“Having fun?”
You jump, feeling a warm body lean against the table beside you. Head snapping over, you see Sirius there, grey eyes wandering over the party. His hair is loose around his shoulders, jaw stubbled, arms crossed tight. You can’t quite make out exactly what he’s wearing in the low, pulsing light- but you can tell it’s flattering and dark. Someone spelled multicolored lumos es around the room; a pink glow pulses above you, casting shadows across Sirius’s pale face. Your brow furrows when you notice his uncharacteristically pissy expression, and even more uncharacteristic lack of partner.
You shrug, looking back at your drinks and pouring even heavier into your cup, “Not half bad. You seem lonely.”
“Tables have turned, then.”
Scoffing, you roll your eyes, take a swig out of your cup, and pick up Remus’s to leave. A silver-ringed hand quickly grabs your wrist, drink sloshing onto your sleeve. You look up at him, brow furrowed and grimacing, and he blinks rapidly.
“Sorry, I-” Sirius says, eyes slightly panicked and unreadable. He fumbles to use the end of his shirt to dry off your wrist. His hands are a warm contrast to the spilled drink. “Sorry, I really didn’t mean...”
Confusion stirs hot in your gut as you watch the previously level-headed, confident playboy stutter on his words in front of you, hands on your skin, shirt pulled up to expose his lower stomach.
“How drunk are you, Black?” you say, unbelieving. You can tell his cheeks are flushed even under the blush light, and his hair is all over the place. He’s still fumbling to dry your sleeve, grabbing some napkins off of the table to replace the hem of his shirt.
“Only a little,” he laughs, seeming to regain a bit of usual confidence. He meets your eyes, his gaze light and heavy at the same time. You clear your throat, glancing away, silently hoping Sirius will just forget this entire interaction in the morning- you wish you can already forget the warmth of his skin on yours. He drops your wrist, taking an unsteady step away from you and handing you the napkins awkwardly.
“Did you get most of the potion out of your hair?” you ask, raising an eyebrow, continuing to try to dry your sleeve. He scoffs.
“I’m still sneezing orange. Why do I think you had something to do with it?”
“Maybe you’re just clumsy,” you shrug noncommittally, giving him a smirk.
He rolls his eyes, his gaze raking down your figure for a moment, eyes half-lidded. You turn away quickly, busying yourself with refilling the drink he’d spilled. You’re suddenly aware of how underdressed you are- you’re just wearing your school uniform skirt, but with a knitted sweater instead of the uniform button up. You hadn’t really thought about changing. You wish you had. Why do you wish you had?
“You and Remus look like you’re having fun. It’s cute,” Sirius derides, snapping you out of your haze. You shake your head, screw the lid back onto the firewhiskey, and put it back on the table with finality.
What is with this obsession of his? You and Remus are friends- he’s your best friend, really, the only one you’ve ever had- and you won't let Sirius’s schoolyard teasing ruin that. You know Sirius is just trying to joke with you, or he’s just bored, or just trying to get on your nerves so you’ll react- but is he really? Is he joking? He isn’t smiling. Your head feels foggy, and your sleeve is still damp.
“We are. Where’s your pick of the week?”
It comes out of your mouth without warning, lips loose from alcohol. You can’t bring yourself to care that his eyes flicker in anger. You drink deeply- it’s too loud, too bright, too confusing in here for you to enjoy it when you’re anywhere near sober. You’re barely tipsy enough to talk to him like this.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he snaps.
“I mean, did that Ravenclaw finally come to her senses?”
“She went to the loo to vomit after seeing you and Remus all cozy together.” Sirius’s gray eyes are fiery on yours. He sounds like he isn't joking.
You look Sirius up and down, lacking the usual knot in your gut that pulls your eyes away from him. He’s stiff, awkward, uncomfortable- the absolute opposite of his normal self. He gnaws on his lip, arms crossed tightly across his chest.
“What’s wrong with you?” you ask, exasperated.
“What's-” he runs a frustrated hand through his hair, clenching his shadowed jaw, but you cut him off.
“Why are you trying to talk to me, when that’s all you have to say?”
Silence hangs heavy between the two of you despite the thumping bass. He just stares at you, face slack, mouth trying to form words.
“Just leave me alone, Black.”
Your voice comes out more defeated than you would’ve liked- small and almost caught in your throat. You don’t look back as you push through the crowd, embarrassment creeping up your throat. You push it down with firewhiskey.
Throwing yourself back in the chair next to Remus, you mindlessly push a cup into his hand. His arm wraps around your shoulder again, and you lean into him heavily. The warm line of his torso is comforting.
“Wsswrong?” he says, brows furrowed.
“Nothing,” you smile up at him, trying to forget the conversation you just had, “just Sirius being stupid. Don’t worry about it.”
“He’s probably just drunk and mad you’re havin’ fun,” Remus says, and takes a glug of his drink. Taking a sip of yours, you realize you’ve given him the wrong cup- fuck.
“You feelin’ alright?” you ask, looking over Remus’s flushed face. He grins at you, eyes half-lidded.
“Lovely.”
“You’re going to be a mess in about thirty minutes.”
“Already am.”
You snort, and Remus lets out a laugh that shakes you both. You grin over at him.
“Why does Sirius hate me? Has he ever said anything to you about it?” you ask. You blink once you realize what came out of your mouth, face falling, “Actually, ignore that, I don’t know why I said that, I’m just-”
“He doesn’t hate you, love,” he interrupts, smiling at you sadly. He rarely calls you pet names- only when he’s drinking or when you’re upset. You bite the inside of your cheek.
“Could’ve fooled me,” you laugh dryly, taking a sip of the weak drink that was meant to be for Remus, eyeing the one in his hand.
“It’s… It’s complicated. Sirius doesn’t hate you. He’s just… mean. ‘M too drunk to explain it right,” he slurs, brow furrowed. You smile at him gently.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not a big deal.”
“It kinda is- he makes you upset, doesn’t he?” Remus tries to take another sip, but you quickly grab your cup and replace it with his. His brow furrows, but he shrugs, drinking anyways.
“No. Not really. Well- maybe,” you sigh, gnawing at your lip before drinking deeply. Remus tries to nudge your shoulder with his own, forgetting his arm is around you, making the two of you rock in place. Drink dribbles down your face with the motion. You laugh, wiping off your chin with your already damp sleeve, and he lights up a bit.
“There. Better,” he says, and drinks again.
You look back at the crowd, trying to find something interesting to talk to Remus about. Abbott and Brown are all over each other- no surprise. Lily and James are trying to do some complicated partner dance that has Marlene and Dorcas laughing. Sirius has a girl you don’t recognize up against him, a sly smile on his face, eyes closed and head thrown back as they move to the beat. You can’t help but stare; the way the colored light flashes against his skin is oddly mesmerizing. His eyes open, and your stomach flips when they immediately find yours. He raises a brow at you, his smirk crawling even higher, making his dimples show. You quickly look away, downing your drink completely.
Thirty minutes later, exactly as you said, you’re pulling Remus up the stairs to the boys’ dormitories. His weight leans heavily on your shoulder, making your knees buckle with the strain.
“C’mon, up you go,” you groan, arm under his. His head lolls into the crook of your neck.
“Sorry, mate. Didn’t mean to, uh- drink so much,” he slurs.
You laugh lightly as you finally make it to his dormitory door, “Don’t worry about it, Rem, it's okay.”
Swinging the door open, your shoulders drop in relief at the sight of the empty room. You’ve been in Remus’s dorm a handful of times, but you’ve always felt a bit awkward being around James’s pristine desk and Sirius’s wrinkled sheets. It feels too intimate to see; it’s a side of their lives that you aren’t supposed to be a part of.
The door swings shut behind you, muffling the music downstairs. Remus stumbles onto his bed, flopping face down with an oof. You chuckle, nudging his shoulder over so he’s on his side. He nuzzles into the pillowcase.
“Thanks, love. You’re the best best mate.” Remus murmurs, his large hand swinging up to clumsily pat your cheek. You smile at him and grab his arm, laying it down beside him. You don’t think he’s ever called you that before- best mate. It makes your heart ache.
“It’s nothing,” you dismiss. “Can you take your shoes off?”
The only response you get is a mumble of nonsense followed by a snore. You roll your eyes lightheartedly before easing the dress shoes off of his feet and pulling a blanket over him. You silently conjure some water and some pepper-up potion to sit on his bedside table. Taking one last look at him, you notice how odd it is to see him so peaceful- no crease between his brow, no slight downward turn to his lip.
You’re about to turn to leave when the door slams open with a flood of music. You spin on your heel to face the noise. A flurry of limbs pushes through the door, a heavy-booted foot kicking it closed- Sirius and a Hufflepuff girl are lip-locked and groping, practically molded together. Sirius turns the girl against the door, pressing her against it with ease; her neck strains as his lips slip down the vulnerable skin of her throat. Her eyes are tightly shut, dark lipstick smudged, eyebrows furrowed, breathing heavy. Sirius’s back flexes underneath his shirt, arms caging her in. You gape for a moment before loudly clearing your throat.
Sirius barely pulls away, and the girl’s eyes fly open with a squeak of surprise, meeting your own. You smile and wave uncomfortably at her, feeling your cheeks run hot.
“Oh my god- I'm so sorry!” she cries, pushing Sirius away. He slowly turns over his shoulder, eyes full of passive, tipsy annoyance before they meet your own. They widen in surprise, flicking between you and Remus’s sleeping form.
“Huh. Didn’t mean to interrupt,” he drawls with smirking lipstick-smeared lips, and you suck on your teeth, crossing your arms in front of you tightly. Your stomach coils with discomfort.
“Rem drank too much and needed help getting upstairs. I’m leaving. Sorry, could you, uh…” you say, gesturing to the door where the pink-faced girl is currently pressed. Sirius’s lip twitches in disdain before pulling her off of it. She stands awkwardly against Sirius as you pass.
“Sorry, again!” she says genuinely. You give her a small smile, opening your mouth to respond-
“Have a good night, L/N,” Sirius drones.
You don’t bother with a response before Sirius slams the door behind you.