29th August 1971 - Summer before First Year
It was late at night in the Lupin household and Remus was wide awake reading the book him and his father had gotten in Diagon Alley.
When he had walked into Flourish and Blotts with Lyall a month previous, he was in awe of all of the books in different shapes, sizes and colours standing on rows and rows of bookshelves in front of him. He could’ve browsed for hours there if his father had allowed it.
There were so many books that it got quite overwhelming for Remus to choose one. He did eventually settle with Tales of The Beedle and The Bard. Yes, it was a children’s book but he’d never had it as a child and it looked very interesting. So, he chose it.
In the book, he read about a pot with legs and a warlock that cut out a girl's heart. Some of them didn’t seem like children’s fairy tales at all. Remus was confused on how this was considered a children’s book, with all those terrifying tales. However, Remus still enjoyed it. It was a book, after all.
His father had told him of Hogwarts having a massive library and Remus’ excitement doubled in size. He could read as many books as he wanted, and they were all for free!
He couldn’t wait until September 1st. He was counting down the days. There was only two days left until he got on the Hogwarts Express and left for a world he’d barely been part of.
Remus finished the chapter on an evil fairy-like spirit that took money from rich purebloods, and put down the book. He looked over at the clock hung on his wall across from his bed. It was three in the morning. He’d better get to sleep.
He sighed, put his new favourite book on his bedside table, and closed his eyes. Slowly, he fell into a deep sleep, with only dreams of Hogwarts to keep him company.
—
“Remus, sweetie! Breakfast!” Came the chipper voice of Remus’ mother from the kitchen.
Remus awoke with a start, drenched in sweat. He’d had the nightmare again. The same one as always. It was like his brain didn’t want him to be happy. How could he be when he was brought back to that terrifying moment almost every night?
He ran a hand through this now wet hair, and called back to his mother,
“Just a minute, mum!”
He sighed, stood up, and made a beeline straight to the bathroom down the hall to take a shower.
Turning on the hot water, he tried to shake all the thoughts of the worst night of his life away from his head. He’s going to Hogwarts the day after tomorrow, and he wouldn’t let his head ruin it for him.
He tried to think of all the things he was going to do and have when he came to Hogwarts. Lessons, professors, food, books and hopefully, friends.
Remus’ father had told him to be careful talking to kids his age. He told him to try not to make friends and if he did, not let them get too close.
“You never know who could say something about you, son.” Lyall had tried to reason with the eleven year old. But Remus didn’t agree with his father in the slightest. “No. I’ll find good friends. I’ll find friends that won’t let me down.” Remus had sternly replied. He sounded like he couldn’t care less about what his father had said, but honestly, a big part of Remus still couldn’t let go of his fathers’ words. What if he finds friends that he becomes too close with? What if they find out about his secret and hate him for it?
His father had eventually given up trying to convince Remus to completely keep to himself and instead warned him not to tell anyone about his lycanthropy.
As if he would.
Remus had actually scoffed when his father brought that up at the dinner table a few days previous. He wanted to have friends, and no one would be friends with a freak . No one would want to hang around a monster . Even if the people he made friends with didn’t mind, Remus would rather die than have them pity him.
“Remus! Your eggs are going cold!” Hope called out to her son.
Remus awoke from his trance of thoughts, and realised he had been in the shower for over fifteen minutes. The water had turned colder as all of the hot water ran out.
“Yeah, coming!” Remus shouted. He got out of the shower and dried himself off. He got changed — a big grandpa sweater that had a rip on the side, his fathers’ old corduroy pants, and mismatched socks, one with a hole in it — and hurried to the kitchen.
His mother was there, as usual, listening to the radio while she cooked. This morning the radio was playing My Sweet Lord, one of Hope’s many favourites. She was humming along to the tune.
Really want to go with you
Really want to show you, Lord
That it won't take long, my Lord
His mother eventually noticed Remus had entered the kitchen when she turned around to face table.
“Oh! There you are!” She smiled at him and gestured to the table. “Sit down, I’ll bring you over your breakfast.”
Remus pulled out the chair closest to him and sat down at the kitchen table. Hope went back to the counter to grab his food. She also turned to the radio sitting on the window sill above the sink and turned the volume down, presumably so she could talk to Remus a bit.
“What were you up to for so long?” His mother questioned him, bringing forward his big plate of eggs and a piece of toast.
“Took a shower.” Remus responded, already stuffing his face with eggs.
His mother deemed that answer satisfactory and simply nodded while walking over to the stove to finish on Lyall’s and her own breakfast.
For around five minutes there was a comfortable silence in the kitchen. All that could be heard were the sounds of the rashers sizzling on the pan and Remus’ fork scraping against his plate as he took another portion of eggs.
Hope suddenly spoke up, not looking away from the stove. “Remus, have you finished packing?”
“Yeah.” Remus answered, swallowing a mouthful of toast. He took another bite. “I’m not packing all of my books though, I might read one or two on the train.” He said with his mouth full.
“Don’t speak with your mouth full, Remus.” His mother lightly scolded and them smiled gently. “But that’s good. You don’t want to get bored during the journey.”
Remus swallowed and nodded, then turned back to eating his breakfast.
Hope and Remus continued what they were doing for a short while until Lyall came into the kitchen.
“Morning.” He greeted both his son and wife. Hope held out a plate of rashers and fried eggs and started to walk towards him but Lyall held up a hand making her stop in her tracks. “Sorry Hope, but I’m late enough as it is. I’ll have to skip breakfast unfortunately.”
Hope looked a bit dejected but brushed it off quickly. “No worries, darling. I’ll see you later.” She gave him a kiss to his cheek and he was off.
A few seconds after Lyall left the kitchen the mother and son heard the front door slam and, like clockwork, every single day, Hope turned back around and started cleaning up.
Remus’ father had always been distant with the two of them. But more so with him. He had assumed that it was because of his lycanthropy. And he was probably right. Could Remus even blame his father though?
He pushed his chair back and stood up to go to his room. He wanted to sort out what books he’d pack, which ones he’d leave, and which ones he’d bring in his bag to read on the train.