Addison Montgomery-Shepherd
"You're trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?" Derek asked in that charming voice he always used, making Meredith melt a little bit more each time.
He helped her adjust her coat, and the smile Meredith gave him this moment was radiant, the kind of smile not many people received. But he had been on the receiving end of it more and more lately. He had worn her down, and she could feel her walls slowly coming down. She had told her about her mother for God's sake. She never told anyone about her mother. But she had told him because it was Derek. And Derek was... Derek.
So, she smiled at him like he held the sun in his hands and turned around to leave the hospital, ready to enjoy her evening by his side.
But when they turned, Derek stopped dead in his tracks to stare at a woman. He looked like he had seen a ghost, and Meredith suddenly felt dread engulf her. She didn't know why yet, but she had a bad feeling.
The mysterious woman walked towards them in purposeful strides, looking like a runway model.
"Meredith, I am so sorry." Derek said. She knew, then, that whatever came next wouldn't be fun. Not that her life was ever fun, but it had not been terrible in the last few days, and she would have preferred for it to last a bit longer.
But as the gorgeous woman stopped in front of Derek and stared at him, not even glancing at her, she knew the tentative peace of the last few days was going to end.
"Addison." Dereck said as Meredith kept staring at the mysterious woman — Addison— and her perfect red hair. "What are you doing here?"
"You'd know if you'd bothered to return any of my phone calls." Addison answered.
Meredith realized then that the woman's voice was as gorgeous as she was. She still had not looked at her once. And why was this woman even calling her boyfriend in the first place?
"Hi. I'm Addison Shepherd." The woman said, this time turning to her with a smile on her face and presenting her hand for Meredith to shake.
"Shepherd?" Meredith asked in a small voice as she shook the woman's hand. Was this Derek's sister? He had mentioned he had a sister; maybe Addison was one of them. She certainly looked as good as he did. Must be the Shepherd genes, she thought.
"And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband." Addison said conversationally, like her words weren't turning Meredith's world upside down.
Meredith stared at her, at a loss for words because she couldn't believe Derek was married. She couldn't believe Derek was the kind of guy who could cheat on his gorgeous wife with one of his interns. Derek wasn't that kind of man, was he? She looked up at him briefly, hoping he was going to deny everything that woman had just said; hoping that it was some sort of elaborate prank. But he didn't. He simply kept staring at her.
So, Meredith didn't look back and walked away, unsure of what to feel. Derek was married, and he hadn't told her. Derek was married to this gorgeous woman with the perfect red hair and the perfect burgundy lipstick, and he hadn't told her. She had been willing to call it quits after their one night together, but he had pursued her relentlessly until she caved. And he was married.
So she walks away and doesn't look back. She walks to the bar to get herself drunk on tequila because what else is there to do? She was falling for Derek, and Derek is married. So she's going to do what she does best: get drunk until she forgets.
And she tries, she tries but then Joe collapses and they end back at the hospital. The poor man hit his head on the fall, so of course neuro is called for a consult, and of course, Derek is the surgeon on call.
So, of course, she ended up in his presence again when all she wanted was to avoid him. But knowing her luck, she should have known that was not going to happen.
Then, Derek tries to hand over Joe's file for the standstill surgery, like somehow, he can make up for the hurt he caused with a surgery. Fuck him.
Of course, she refuses not only because she is drunk but also because it isn't that simple.
So when that doesn't work, he tries to talk to her, tries 'to explain' he says. Like, somehow, anything he could say could make up for the fact that he has a wife. That he lied about having a wife, and that said wife apparently wants him to come home.
**
The next morning, she can't get out of bed, she can't bring herself to go to work because the people she's trying to avoid will be there. And she doesn't know how to deal with her feelings. Meredith feels so much anger and hurt that she wonders how she hasn't exploded yet. She doesn't know how to direct her feelings.
She wants to hate Addison, but she can't because that woman is — of course — amazing. She is a double board-certified OB/GYN specializing in maternal-fetal surgery. She's among the best, if not the best, neonatal surgeons in the country, for God's sake.
The woman she wants to hate saves babies and makes miracles happen, and she looks gorgeous and put-together while doing so. That's just Meredith's luck. How can she compete against someone like that? Does she even want to?
Meredith can't bring herself to hate Addison, so she decides to hate Derek; he was the one who lied after all, who made her soft. So she decides to hate Derek, but still, it isn't enough. She is too angry and too hurt.
She doesn't know what to do with her feelings, so she gets to work and selfishly hopes that someone gets hurt so she can scrub in on an interesting surgery.
Except, when she gets there, Dr.Bailey wants to talk to her just to tell her that Dr.Montgomery-Shepherd requested her presence on her service today. The woman personally requested her presence on her service today. Because, of fucking course she did.
Bailey asks her if she has a problem with spending the day with Dr.Shepherd in her usual aggressive tone. Meredith doesn't want to give the woman the satisfaction, so she shakes her head and makes her way to the OB wing.
As she walks as slowly as possible, she braces herself to work with her ex-boyfriend's wife because that's her life now. Meredith is determined to be professional; determined to show she is a capable surgeon.
She finally finds Dr.Shepherd, and she's there with Dr.Burke and Derek. Great. Just great. Even though she had decided to hate him this morning, the sight of him still made her heart flutter, and it only served to aggravate her anger. Damn it, Meredith.
She pushes everything down and makes her way to the group.
Meredith makes her entrance by finishing Dr.Shepherd's sentence: "... intern you requested." She says, her voice cool and collected, betraying nothing of her inner turmoil.
She nods at Dr.Burke politely and proceeds to do the same with Derek. She nods like he is just another surgeon; like she hasn't seen him naked; like she isn't the dirty mistress.
Then, she meets Addison's eyes, expecting them to be cold and hard. Instead, her eyes are sparkling with an unspoken challenge. All right, Meredith could deal with that, she was usually good with challenges. So she holds Addison's gaze and nods slightly to let her know she's ready. Surprisingly, the woman gives a small smile; a smile that isn't unkind, which is more than she expected from the surgeon.
"Let's go, Dr.Grey." She says before turning around with a natural flip of her hair and a raise of her brow.
Addison turns around, and Meredith stays put for a few seconds, confused by the lack of hatred towards her. She expected the woman to hate her and not to hide it.
Instead, she is professional, and her red hair looks perfect. The woman is insanely pretty, and right now, it just aggravates Meredith's anger.
Nonetheless, she follows her into the patient room, trying to be the perfect picture of professionalism.
Dr.Shepherd asks her questions. She answers the first two but needs more time to answer the third one.
"I'd except you to know that, Grey." Addison says in a sharp voice as they leave.
She tries to tell her she'd have answered the question if given a few more seconds, but Addison doesn't seem to care.
"Don't worry, I'm this tough with everyone, not just the women my husband sleeps with." Dr.Shepherd says, her voice teasing like the situation amuses her.
She gives Meredith clear instructions before walking away like she owns the place. Damn.
**
Later, as she is following up with the patient as per Dr. Shepherd's instruction, the woman reprimands her for going after another woman's husband. Meredith clenches her teeth and doesn't tell her that it wasn't her intention, that she got her heart broken in that all story too. She shuts up and takes it because even though she didn't know Derek was married, she feels guilty.
So shuts up and continues examining her patient. Then she notices something is wrong and goes looking for her attending.
She finds her talking to Derek; to her husband. Great. Again. Just her luck. Meredith realizes she's more uncomfortable about being in Derek's presence than in Addison's and that is disturbing in itself.
They're talking, or rather arguing, but she interrupts them anyway, knowing Dr.Shepherd needs to check on her patient as soon as possible. So she tells Addison about the abnormalities she noticed, and she leaves with an authoritative "Let's go, Grey" without granting another look to her husband.
Derek tries to talk to her, but all Meredith says is "don't" as she tries to catch up with Addison. She doesn't understand how the woman can walk so quickly with those high heels when Meredith herself almost tripped trying to catch up with her. Jesus.
When Meredith finally catches up to her, she meets Addison's eyes, and the woman gives her one of those small smiles again. This time, she almost looks proud, like maybe she excepted Meredith to cave and let Derek win her back. But she didn't, and Addison gave her that tiny smile. It shouldn't, but it makes her a bit proud of herself.
The next thing she knows, they're back in the patient room, looking at the bilateral pleural effusion with evidence of subQ oedema. Dr.Shepherd is explaining to the patient that they've detected what looks like the beginning of heart failure. She tells the patient that there is no cause for alarm with such confidence that everyone would believe her.
She orders Meredith to book an OR, but she takes half a second too long to react, and next thing she knows, Addison is ordering her to "move" aggressively, like she is some stupid intern who doesn't know what they're doing. Jesus, that woman is intense. She doesn't take any time to recover and does just that: she moves.
It is not long before she finds herself next to Dr.Shepherd in the OR as she explains that she is just going to go in laparoscopically in a reassuring and confident tone.
Addison orders for the lights to be deemed and asks for a ten blade before she starts to cut. Meredith had never been in an OR with her before but is happy to find out that Dr.Shepherd explains everything she is doing out loud to make sure her students learn something from the surgery.
So Meredith stares at her as Addison expertly navigates her surgery. She stares at her and hopes to assimilate as much information as possible. She has this strange need to make sure she doesn’t disappoint the surgeon.
Meredith can't help but be impressed by the way the woman commands her OR, even though she is not familiar with the staff yet.
"How are you doing there, Grey?" She asks suddenly, her voice teasing but sincere. It seemed like she genuinely wanted to know if Meredith was learning anything.
Meredith was so surprised by the genuine interest the woman had in teaching her that she stuttered on her words. Dr.Shepherd nodded and went on with her surgery.
**
Later, Addison surprised her once again as they were in the patient's room delivering the news. She had defended her, quite fiercely, Meredith might add.
The patient had asked Dr.Shepherd to take Meredith off the case, like having slept with someone else's husband might make her less competent, and Addison had refused.
When their patient had spoken the words, Meredith had noticed Addison's jaw hardening and her gaze turning colder, the kind of cold she usually did not direct at a patient from what she had witnessed so far.
"Ms.Philips, I lack Dr.Grey's class and patience so, let me set the record straight." Addison had said with a dangerously menacing smile, her eyes getting harder by the second.
Meredith wondered if Addison was talking about another Dr.Grey because, really? Class and patience? Meredith? Well, she supposed she had been surprisingly calm with this patient, maybe because she still felt guilty for sleeping with Addison's husband. And since Addison wasn't showing any anger towards her, she had felt like she deserved the patient's anger directed at her.
"My husband didn't cheat on me, I cheated on him. So the wronged woman here: Dr.Grey." Addison said as she pointed at Meredith. "So, I think you owe her one hell of an apology." Addison had added, the word 'hell' laced with extra poison. Meredith wondered how the patient hadn’t burst into tears yet, she certainly wanted to.
Jesus, that woman was scary. And badass, definitely badass.
Meredith couldn't believe she had asked the patient to apologize to her of all people? She couldn't help but feel like she didn't deserve the woman defending her. She was grateful nonetheless and tried to let Dr.Shepherd know, but the surgeon stormed out of the room, seemingly still angry.
And what was that about Addison having cheated on Derek?
Meredith wondered if Addison having cheated first made what Derek did better. It didn't take her long to figure out that it didn't. Of course, it didn't. He should have told her he was still married when he had pushed to pursue a relationship with her.
Still, she decided to talk to Derek to hear his side of the story and maybe get some closure because she couldn't stand the pleading looks he was throwing her way anymore. His wife was right there for God's sake!
So she made her way to Derek's trailer, feeling strangely calm. She listened as he told her Addison had cheated on him with his best friend, how said woman had tried to explain herself by saying she was lonely and felt like she was being neglected. His words were laced with anger, and Meredith knew he was not over the ordeal. Which meant that he wasn't over her either. If it still hurt that much, it had to mean he still cared for Addison, it couldn't be just a bruised ego at having being cheated on. Well, knowing Derek, it could be, but she didn't think it was the case in this particular situation.
He finished recollecting the story of that night, told Meredith she was a like coming up for fresh air, like he had been drowning and he had saved her before sending her his best puppy dog eyes.
Damn you Derek Shepherd.
Meredith looked into his eyes and decided it was not enough, that it was time to put herself first. She was tired of getting burned, she was tired of hurting. She was just so tired.
She had spent the last two days with Derek's wife, for God's sake. The woman was perfectly pleasant and professional, but still, Meredith was tired.
She decided she was allowed some wallowing about Derek and his stupidly perfect wife. And who better to do that with than Cristina?
Once this was done, she promised herself that she would start getting over Derek and be a perfectly professional intern with Addison.