Chapter 4
Regulus must have been around eight at the time his brother taught him what to do in case of getting kidnapped.
“First of all,” his brother had said, “avoid ever being alone. You're a prince, after all.” A childish smirk and a flash of white teeth behind crimson lips. “Second of all, if you should happen to end up in such a tragic situation, just scream.”
Regulus had frowned, trying to keep up with his brother, who was strolling the halls of the castle at an incredible speed for a nine-year-old with no actual destination to reach.
“Yell. Fight. Anything. It’ll scare them off, trust me. Just make as much noise as you can, attract attention from strangers, anyone who can help you really, and if there isn’t any, then you fight. Hit 'em.” Sirius punched the air in front of him, and Regulus could almost imagine the action scene playing out in front of them. Sirius fighting off all danger and the bad guys fleeting with their tails between their legs. Another victory on King Sirius’ part. “Hit 'em hard, Reggie. Don’t be afraid to use all your power.” Sirius punched the air again, making a show out of it, and Regulus suppressed a small giggle.
Sometimes it was hard to not find Sirius’ stunts amusing. He had a talent for entertaining and a cool attitude that even Regulus felt himself drawn to.
“Oh, wait, I almost forgot!” Sirius stopped abruptly and turned to face him so suddenly Regulus almost collided with his chest. Despite Regulus’ small grunt and surprised expression, Sirius didn’t notice, too absorbed by whatever he was thinking about. “A good friend once told me that if I ever got kidnapped, I could never let them move me to another location. The second I’m where they want me, Reggie, the game’s lost. It’s over. Done. Finished.”
Regulus nodded, pulling his brows together to make himself look as grave as possible.
“The second you are where they want you, Reggie,” Sirius held a pause and, though Regulus knew it was merely a suspense trick, it still worked, sending uneasy shivers down his spine. “You’re dead.”
Sirius shrugged unapologetic, a sad smile plastered on his lips. When he wanted to, Regulus knew Sirius could be just as cold-hearted as their mother. But while their mother was cold-hearted towards Sirius and Regulus, Sirius would never act mean towards Regulus. He could be as arrogant as he wanted to, as cruel and rude, but never with Regulus. With Regulus, Sirius was never mean.
Or so Regulus had thought. In the end, Sirius showed him just how mean, arrogant and cold-hearted he could be – especially towards Regulus.
Currently it doesn’t matter, though. It was years ago that Regulus had seen Sirius, and Regulus wasn’t the same anymore. He was no longer naive enough to believe he had meant anything special to Sirius, and he had become just as cold-hearted as his brother, if not more so.
Regulus had moved on with his life, had made new friends, got himself into and out of new problems perfectly fine without Sirius’ help. He didn’t need Sirius in his life, didn’t need his ideas or rules on what to do in case of getting kidnapped. Regulus would find his own way to save himself. Sirius advice was stupid anyway.
Though he wouldn’t admit it, Regulus knew it was a sorry excuse for why he had broken all three of Sirius’ rules in less than a few seconds during both times he had been subjected to kidnapping: avoiding being alone, screaming and fighting, and not letting himself get moved.
The first time, there hadn’t really been much to do. Suddenly, he had been alone in a dirty alleyway, and suddenly, he wasn’t as alone anymore. But the second time…
There had been a lot of opportunities to do something. When he and Marlene had run through the labyrinth of narrow streets, it would’ve been so easy to just stop running, turn around, and disappear. Or afterward, he could’ve vanished into the crowd, wrenched his wrist free of her grip. Or even later, he could’ve used those minutes on the ship in between James’ arrival and their departure to find a second to slip away. He could’ve thrown himself overboard and swam to land! That would, of course, take knowing how to swim, but come on, how difficult could it be?
There had been so many moments when Regulus could’ve acted, and yet, he did nothing but watch from underneath the deck as Euphemia left the harbour.
In all honesty, Regulus was a liar.
He was still just as naive and in just as much need of help as he was ten years ago.
—
Being kidnapped a second time wasn’t as horrible as being kidnapped the first time. First, he had yet to be hit in the head with a bat, and Marlene had stayed away from him with that intimidating axe of hers.
Second, he wasn’t starving, and there were no shackles and no rope. After having a minor panic attack in the cabin under deck due to the increasing amount of water between Euphemia and the harbour, the redhead joined him. Regulus had been prepared for a new blindfold, and he had already scanned the cabin for door handles to get it off with, but it wasn’t gags nor blindfolds she was carrying. It was food. And medical supplies.
Without a word, she sat down next to Regulus with a calm expression on her face, as if she and Regulus were friends and not kidnapper and kidnapped. She waited for Regulus to say something, and in the end, Regulus’ stomach won against his defiance.
“Who are you?” he asked hesitantly.
“My name’s Lily.”
It wasn’t what he had meant, and Regulus knew Lily knew. Lies were thickening the air, making it harder to breathe than it already was.
“I brought you food.”
Lily finally lifted her gaze from the floor, training her gaze on his with a neutral expression and almost cold demeanour. Yet, she didn’t look lifeless; far from it. Regulus wasn’t sure how to describe it. The green in her eyes almost looked like it was a living creature on its own, shining and reflecting any sources of light coming too close. If someone told him her eyes weren't eyes, but emeralds, Regulus wouldn’t have doubted them for a single second. Lily looked like a magical queen – especially next to her fairytale ship.
Regulus nodded cautiously, not daring to break eye contact.
For another few seconds, neither of them said anything, and Regulus was surprised to see that Lily didn’t back away from his stare. Sirius used to tell him how Regulus needed to stop frowning and starring or someone would mistake him for a serial killer.
“You hungry?” Lily asked. Her gaze momentarily landed on the tray she had put down on the floor, and though she was the first to look away, it didn’t seem as if she was trying to dodge his gaze. More as if she was simply better and had no need to prove it. Not to him and not to herself. As if she was confident in herself in a way that Regulus could never dream of ever achieving.
Regulus cast a sidelong glance at the tray next to him, contemplating if eating it really was worth it. Because, yes, his stomach was hurting, but the signals it would send... Accepting the food equaled to saying, “I surrender”, and if there was anything his mother and Sirius had ever agreed upon, it had been that. To never surrender.
As if summoned, his mother’s voice instantly sounded.
You’re better than that, Regulus. You don’t need to eat that trash. You have been and will be subjected to far worse.
Regulus clenched his jaw, breathing in through his nostrils. His stomach didn’t agree with his mother. Not the slightest. It did, in fact, need to eat that trash. He still wasn’t sure how long it had been since the initial kidnapping, and the fact that he wasn’t dead yet was probably more of a miracle rather than his own competence’s merit.
“Yes,” Regulus croaked, his voice hoarse.
He needed all the help he could get, even if it meant surrendering.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, a disapproving voice sighed, and Regulus knew he should feel ashamed because in the end, he wasn’t better than that, as his mother had put it. But he wasn’t ashamed.
He was just tired. Endlessly tired.
Gently, Lily pushed the tray closer to him, and Regulus ate without offering up a second thought to either of his mother and brother. They could screw him if they had any further objections. Which they – of course – had, as stubborn as they both individually were.
After Regulus had finished his food, Lily helped him tend to his wounds. She made sure to keep her distance, giving Regulus the space he needed which Regulus would never admit to but appreciated exceedingly. And however trifling it sounded, Regulus would like to think he repaid her favour by not sneering or opposing her work. If she had known him better, she would’ve known his absence of cruelty meant he was grateful and possibly didn’t hate her company completely.
Lily worked in silence – another thing Regulus secretly appreciated – and Regulus was surprised to find that the silence wasn’t tense or awkward in the way he would’ve expected it to. But it just wasn’t awkward. It was easy. The whole interaction with Lily was simply easy. Regulus was offered food, medical care for his wounds and bruises, and in the end, a place to sleep.
Lily showed him around both above and underneath the deck, ending at the cabin filled with hammocks and randomly thrown clothes and blankets all over the floor. Neither of the hammocks were occupied for the moment, but the curtains were blocking out any light and would’ve left the cabin in complete darkness if it hadn’t been for the old-fashioned castlesticks placed all over the room. It looked as if someone had recently awoken and then left the cabin, too lazy to do anything about the mess quite literally everywhere.
Stepping over something that looked like a dress covered in fringes, Lily stopped in front of a hammock and turned on her heel to face Regulus again. She sighed to herself before plastering an exhausted smile on her face and patting the pole the hammock was attached to.
“This,” she said,” will be yours to use, for the next…” Lily shrugged, crossing her arms in a careless manner. “Yeah, I’m not really sure, if I’m being honest.”
For a second Lily seemed to zone out, her gaze locking on the wood beneath her boots, but then she quickly shook her head, looking up again.
“Sorry,” she said, laughing to herself. “Anyways, I’ve gotta go. You can either stay here and do whatever or come help on the deck, but no one really expects that from you, so yeah. Wish it was me. However, I have to go and make sure those assholes don’t tear each other apart.” Lily made an annoyed grimace that wordlessly said something along the lines of, like, come on, what’s wrong with them? and shook her head again as if she really couldn’t imagine anything more draining. Her hand patted the pole one last time, and then she wearily made her way past Regulus to the door leading to the deck.
“It’s tempting, you know; to let them kill each other. Would make everything so much easier,” she muttered more to herself than to him before disappearing through the doorway. The door slammed close behind her, leaving Regulus alone with the much-needed darkness and silence.
Regulus stayed under the deck, and though Lily had assured him no one would come to look for him, he was still relieved to see that she had spoken the truth. That he indeed was left alone to do whatever he pleased.
“Whatever he pleased” turned out to be sleeping. Not even a minute passed before Regulus got tired of the silence and lack of people and toppled over into his hammock. Relatively, Regulus knew it was dirty and worn out, that some smelly man or woman most likely had used it not that long ago, but currently, the hammock might’ve been the best thing ever created in Regulus’ completely unbiased opinion.
It felt like he could sink so far into the hammock, he just as well could have been woven into the material so soft it had to be made of cotton wool. There was no pillow, but Regulus found that he didn’t need one since the hammock instantly adjusted to his shape, making it as comfortable as floating or flying. Regulus couldn’t decide which described it the best. Probably neither; it felt even more heavenly.
Maybe he had died. That would explain it. But if this was dying, then Regulus wouldn’t mind yielding to the sleep.
The first thing Regulus realised when he awoke was that he wasn’t alone anymore, the second thing being that the hammock wasn’t as flawless as it had been when he had fallen asleep. It was way too clammy and itchy now, claustrophobia welling up in him like a vehement wave.
Regulus sat up, gaze immediately scanning the room for any potential danger. His heart was beating fast, considering he had been asleep mere seconds ago, and his head instantly started throbbing, filling his mind with thudding and ringing. He wasn’t sure if he could stand straight without faltering.
Cautiously, Regulus raised a hand to his lip, feeling the raw crust under his fingertip. He’d have to watch out not to make sure the wound didn’t tear open again.
Even though Regulus wasn’t alone anymore, the room was silent – or almost, at least. The low breathing and snoring of sleeping people filled the room with a relaxed atmosphere, and lumps in the hammocks revealed that they weren’t empty anymore. Here and there, an arm or a lock of hair poked out from underneath the moth-eaten blankets, and the candlesticks had been put out at some point. Sunlight failed to pour in through the windows due to the curtains, still drawn, and instead, the light lined the black material with streaks of white along the edges.
There was no reaction to Regulus’ sudden movement, and Regulus concluded that no one was awake. He was somewhat alone. For a second, Regulus contemplated going out on the deck, but since he didn’t know when the others would wake up or if someone was out there, Regulus decided against it, staying where he was in the hammock.
An axe, Regulus definitely had seen before, stood leaned up against a pole, to which three different hammocks were attached, and a cascade of blonde hair poked out from the one nearest. Judging by the sounds coming from the hammock, Marlene was sound asleep. Still, Regulus didn’t dare to approach the axe. It would be smart of him to get his hands on a weapon, so he could somehow threaten his kidnappers to release him, but there were several problems with that plan.
First of all, Regulus didn’t know how to wield an axe, and second of all, if Marlene’s axe stood unguarded so close to him, they clearly didn’t expect Regulus to be much of a threat – even with an axe. They probably also had other weapons lying around that Regulus didn’t know of, so he’d need another plan.
Hopefully, something more discreet too, so he wouldn’t have to fight his way away.
Regulus sat looking around the cabin for another few minutes before he carefully laid down again, pretending to be asleep.
For now, he’d wait. Later, he’d act.
It took a long while before the others began to stir, but Regulus kept his eyes closed and back turned, nonetheless. He wasn’t about to accidentally make eye contact with someone and would definitely pretend to be dead for as long as he could. He’d just pretend to not exist. Just like he always did when he was younger.
Regulus didn’t recognize the voices of the first people to wake up, but he listened cautiously to their whispered conversation anyway. It wasn’t anything serious, though, and Regulus barely understood what they were talking about, due to the names and earlier interactions between them they kept on throwing in. In the end, the door closed behind them as they disappeared onto the deck together, and Regulus knew just as much as he had at the beginning of the conversation.
From there, it took another few minutes before someone groaned loudly and got up, not caring to keep quiet. The person loafed around in a slow and clumsy manner that clearly said lazy before they stopped up.
A second passed, and the curtains were drawn. Several groans came from several hammocks, but Regulus stayed where he was, pretending to be unfazed.
Always pretending, pretending, pretending. Basically, his whole life was pretend.
“Oh, shut it, asshats,” Marlene’s voice cut through the complaints. Her footsteps sounded again, moving around the room in a circle, and then her chirping voice came again. “If y’all aren’t out of here in ten, I will personally drag you out here and throw you overboard.” In the next second, the door slammed behind her, far louder and less considerate than the two before her.
Regulus tensed, counting the seconds passing by in complete and utter silence.
Was someone going to acknowledge him? Or would they rather just pretend too?
A loud sigh, and someone who moved over in their hammock, but nothing else. Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen.
Maybe he just had to do something himself? Get up and leave. Find a small corner to hide in.
“I don’t know about you, but she means it, and I – personally – don’t feel like taking a morning swim.” Regulus recognized that voice too. He wasn’t sure he could ever forget it.
Yeah, I’m sorry. But I can’t really let you do that.
Despite his words, James made no indications of getting up. Neither did anyone else. In the end, a girl’s voice answered him, flatly.
“Maybe consider getting up, then?”
“I am.
“Considering?”
“Mhm.”
“Well, you got around eight minutes to finish your considering.”
“I’m working on it.”
After that it got silent again, and Regulus made the decision to get up. He didn’t know if Marlene’s threat had also been directed at him, but he most definitely wasn’t getting himself a morning swim, as James put it, so better to be on the safe side.
Making as quick a process out of it as possible, Regulus swung his feet over the edge of the hammock and kept his back to the others as he crossed the floor to the door. No one tried to stop him or talk to him as he opened it, but it felt like the silence had eyes and minds of its own, following and judging him in every movement. Like a monster resting its palms on his shoulders, telling him go, go, go, only to haul him back the second he obeyed.
Regulus closed the door behind him, wishing he could leave the monster behind, but feeling its presence loom in his thoughts and gnaw at every anxious thought until it was red and aching and impossible to ignore.
The deck was covered in sunlight and almost empty, lifting a heavy weight from Regulus’ chest. A short boy and a dark-skinned girl stood on the other end of the ship, holding a conversation while readjusting the knots on long thick ropes that Regulus had no idea what were used for. The girl averted her stern gaze to Regulus shortly, but after a few seconds, she looked back to the boy before her.
Regulus took that as a sign that he hadn’t done anything too bad – not yet, at least.
Slowly, he started sauntering across the deck to the railing on his left. It was surprising how much louder the water was when you were close enough to see it. The waves crashed against the smooth surface with such force Regulus was convinced luck was the only reason Euphemia hadn’t tipped over yet.
Despite the danger, the ocean was beautiful and inviting. Regulus suddenly understood why sirens were water-living creatures and why they were associated with temptation and lust when the vicious waves were such a pretty shade of dark blue. Regulus had come across a variety of ocean paintings, but none quite managed to capture the way the sun glistened on the top of the clear water. Like a sliver of glitter and silver strewn all over the blue canvas, except it didn’t lay still. It disappeared, to reappear a metre to the right. It surfed down every crest and followed the curve of the water to the letter.
“Pretty, isn’t it?” Regulus hadn’t noticed Lily approaching, and though she was relaxed and at a distance, the flinch was an automatic response – one he could thank his mother for. Fortunately, Lily’s gaze was fixed on the ocean, so Regulus supposed she didn’t notice his startled jerk. Her red hair was tied up to prevent the wind from playing with it, yet the sun wasn’t stopped by a single elastic. It got itself stuck in the red strands, transforming them into pure gold and making them dance in the same way the silver glitter on top of the waves did.
Pretty, indeed.
“Yeah,” Regulus breathed, his voice barely there.
If Lily heard him, she didn’t show. Slowly, she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath in through her nostrils and looking calmer than ever before. With the sun shining down on her, Regulus couldn’t help but watch enthralled as her chest rose and fell in a steady and sedate tempo.
“It’s so peaceful,” she said, not opening her eyes just yet.
Regulus turned his gaze back to the water, eyeing it in the same way he had looked at her. Peaceful wasn’t the word he’d use for the raging waves beneath them, but he presumed different people had different opinions on the meaning of peaceful.
“The nature, undisturbed by insignificant humans like you and me.”
Some part of Regulus wanted to laugh at that word. Insignificant. Oh, he wasn’t insignificant, not in the slightest, except...Well, if you looked at it in the way she was describing, natural and unpolitical, the waves wouldn’t give a damn if he was the crown prince, an abandoned brother, or a lost kid. They’d swallow him up whole and leave no body to weep over. Ruthless, yet considerate. Better to move on, rather than having tea with ghosts from your past.
“And those sleepyheads in there,” Lily continued, chuckling to herself. Her eyes were still closed, and Regulus wasn’t sure if the calmness she wore was faked or not. Was she waiting for him to attack? Steal the dagger by her side? Or did she truly trust him not to push her over the railing and into those peaceful waves, as she called them?
“Gotta admit it. Sometimes I contemplate smothering them in their sleep, so they won’t wake up and disturb...” Regulus turned his attention back to Lily to find that she had opened her eyes and was now squinting against the sun. She sighed out loud, not meeting Regulus’ gaze just yet because her own was scanning the countless crests. “Well...this.”
She made a sweeping gesture towards the glistening ocean ahead, clearly at a loss for words at the view. Regulus understood what she meant perfectly fine.
“Also.” Finally, she made eye contact, offering a small and assuring smile. “I trust that you don’t tell them I said anything. It would make them beyond offended.” Another low chuckle, barely audible over the roaring waves.
Regulus knew that he, in principle, was taken hostage, that he couldn't, nor shouldn’t trust anyone, that he didn’t owe it to promise anyone anything, but in the small hours of the morning, he found that the waves were loud and furious. Screaming and yelling loud enough the drown out a small “okay” that, surprisingly, was sincere. If nobody heard his chat with Lily, nobody could confirm if he had promised her anything, and Regulus trusted that Lily wouldn’t go around giving away his poor promises that made absolutely no sense. Why did he trust a stranger, one may ask? Why not, may the answer be.
“Wanna go get breakfast?”
---
Regulus had been right about his assumptions about Lily. She – as far as he knew – wasn’t using him for anything, since she always let him come to her. Of course, there could be a secret dark motive behind their mutual trust – Regulus wouldn’t call it friendship, because that wasn’t what it was – but so far, Regulus was apparently very good at falling for that exact type of deceit, so he supposed it wouldn’t matter if he did it again. Also, he was already trapped on a massive ship. There was quite literally nowhere to run, thus no reason to try and deceive him again.
Regulus had simply decided that he didn’t care. They weren’t abusing him in any way, so Regulus had no problems with staying on Euphemia for now until he came up with a plan for getting away. He was getting fed and had a place to sleep. There was fresh air whenever he needed it, and always a secluded spot to relax in, whether it be in the cabin or in the stern.
It felt nice.
Lily also introduced him to the others onboard, and Regulus learned that Lily was Euphemia’s official captain, whom even someone as self-righteous as Marlene would bow to. Through stories told by the others, he learned that many of them owed her their lives. She had, on several occasions, saved them from vehement storms and other pirate ships.
Yes, other pirate ships.
When Marlene had made a small comment along the lines of “ever seen a hotter pirate than me?” Regulus had choked on his water, because...
Pirates weren’t real. They were myths and good stories, but not real. Anything but real.
Yet there she was. A bandana around her forehead, soiled blonde locks falling into her intense brown eyes, and her earlobes adorned with piercings she had most likes stolen. There was no denying it, and Regulus was surprised he hadn’t come to the conclusion earlier.
He had boarded a pirate ship and was now surrounded by them.
Barty would’ve been so jealous.
It was also through Marlene that Regulus learned that the ship belonged to James and not the respected Captain Evans. One day during lunch, she had mentioned a Euphemia, and Regulus had realised the ship was named after an actual woman.
“Who is she? Regulus had asked without really thinking, and even Marlene was startled to see that he had spoken. “Euphemia, I mean.”
Marlene had eyed him, then answered with a shit eating grin. “James’ mom. A lovely, lovely woman.”
It was then Regulus had asked why the ship was named after James’ mom if Lily was the captain, and he had been told the story of the two of them. Apparently, Lily and James were exes, and while their love story was rough and didn’t have a happy ending, they still got along – as friends, though. So much so, James would let Lily sail Euphemia wherever she wanted. Blindly, he would bow, offer her the rudder, and let her lead.
Regulus wasn’t sure why, but he decided to store that piece of information, should it ever become necessary.
Besides those three, there was Dorcas. The dark-skinned girl who seemed to constantly wear a poker face in the same way James constantly wore a smile. She looked neither happy nor mad, and Regulus couldn’t really decipher where he stood with her. However, she was nice company since she seemed to share Regulus’ opinion on small talk.
A waste of breath, intelligence, and time.
So, Regulus had no problems being around her and her silence.
Then there was Peter, who Regulus really wasn’t sure how to feel about. He was in charge of the food, and while it wasn’t phenomenal, he was clearly the best cook out of them all.
The thing about Peter was that he constantly seemed to change. One second, he was stuttering, unable to form a coherent sentence, with blue eyes nervously flickering to the floor. However, the next, he was making the most inappropriate joke ever. He was a shapeshifter and changed personalities depending on who he was around. It was quite fascinating.
Despite changing appearance and mood every few seconds, Peter also seemed to be very codependent, consistently following someone around the deck and helping them with whatever they were doing for the moment. Usually, the victims were either Marlene or James, but Regulus found that Peter would attach himself to whoever was closest – as long as it wasn’t Regulus, though, it seemed.
Peter had a partiality for turning around and walking away whenever Regulus came too close, and the funny thing was that he didn’t even seem to be aware of it. Like it was his body reacting on its own and not his mind issuing orders.
Regulus really didn’t mind it, and in all honesty, he wished the last member of the crew, Mary, would learn something from Peter. If Peter was introverted, Mary was extroverted, and if Peter didn’t like strangers, Mary loved them.
Mary was charming, outgoing, and beautiful, and she knew it. She would strut across the deck with her head held high, exuding an aura of “look at me”. Everything about her was elegant and confident, from her round tanned cheeks to her big curly hair, and the curves she wasn’t afraid to show off.
Mary knew her own worth, and that only made her more priceless.
She was also a big fan of gossip and extremely cunning. During meals, she would mention something scandalous she had either heard or seen, igniting a massive argument that even calm Dorcas couldn’t help but participate in. Mary would strike a match, light the fuse, and then sit back and watch it explode with an unapologetic smile on her plush lips.
Sometimes the whole chaos ended up with Lily yelling at Marlene or James to shut the fuck up, and sometimes it ended up with swordfights on the deck. Sometimes a table got flipped, and sometimes not completely harmless threats were thrown around. However, in the end, no one actually got hurt. The table got set up again, and Marlene and James dropped their weapons and resorted to fistfights instead, as it was less dangerous. The smiles on everyone's faces showed that no one was actually mad at each other, and that it was all for entertainment. When a sword or an axe brushed an arm, Dorcas would stay where she was with an uninterested look in her eyes because she knew, just like the others, that no one would get hurt.
In the end, it was all a way to show affection for each other. When Lily yelled “I’m throwing you overboard” she actually meant “I don’t want to ever lose you” and when Dorcas sent Marlene a death glare, she actually meant “without you, my life would be boring”. All of them had their own way of communicating their love. Peter would rant about the most random topics, Mary would smirk knowingly at someone when they weren’t looking, and James would randomly touch someone’s arm or brush a strand of hair behind an ear.
It reminded Regulus of the way Barty and Evan acted around each other. I tell you, you’re dumb, but it’s only because you don’t realise how much I love you.
It was like a dance. If your partner dips, they won’t tell you to catch them. They’ll expect you to watch them, just like you expect them to watch you. Create your own unique dance, but make sure it fits with those you love and care for. Make sure your lives intertwine.
---
Four days. Four days was how long it took Regulus to come up with an escape plan. While living on Euphemia wasn’t exactly bad, Regulus couldn’t stay. He had a life waiting for him back at the castle.
Despite the nice surroundings, he was still held hostage. Regulus could watch the crew’s happiness from a safe distance and still long to go home.
So, while he pretended to slowly find his place, Regulus looked for a way out. He spent every moment alone, along with the nights in his hammock, and those moments where he could zone out trying to find a loophole. Which, at last, he did.
He didn’t know when and where the ship would dock, and after studying the so-called play-fights with actual lethal weapons, Regulus concluded there was no way he could overpower them on his own, meaning...
There had to be found another way.
It was on that note that Regulus got stuck. Where was he supposed to go if he had no way of getting Euphemia under his own control?
In the end, the answer shouldn’t have taken him so long to realise, because in all honesty it wasn’t a very intricate plan.
Regulus had no experience with launching lifeboats, but really, get in the boat, pull a few strings, and it was in the water.
Right?
Regulus didn’t know. But he was going to learn. A part of him wanted to try it out before putting the plan into action, but he wasn’t about to risk getting caught doing something like pulling at the security ropes attached to the lifeboats in front of his kidnappers. He didn’t need anyone to get suspicious of him, so he just had to wing it on the first try.
He also had to be fast.
Every night, someone stayed up to make sure Euphemia didn’t drift off in the wrong direction. There was no way Regulus could convince his kidnappers to not guard Euphemia throughout the night, which meant he had to be fast and silent.
He reckoned that once the lifeboat was in the water, the darkness would hide him and thus allow him to reach safety undetected. Once he reached that part of the plan, there would be very little, close to nothing, left to stop him.
Slowly, Regulus got up from his hammock, making sure to be as silent as possible, yet still loud enough to not be suspicious. He hoped that if anyone were still awake, they’d think he went for a piss or something.
The deck was cold and deserted, but Regulus wasn’t fooled by the silence. Not in the slightest. Back home in the castle, Regulus had been faced with situations just like this one, having to be both smarter, faster and more silent than death itself. This type of dangerous Regulus was used to. Those he knew how to navigate.
The rudder stood atop of the cabin Regulus had just emerged from, meaning that the guard was most likely up there. Of course, Regulus couldn’t be sure, but he was going to take a risk and not check, because it could potentially ruin his plan if someone caught sight of him.
Fast and silent, he reminded himself. No shortcuts and no nonsense.
Regulus crept along the wall, keeping an eye and an ear out for unwanted motions and loud noises.
The lifeboats hung along the sides on Euphemia, and those closest to the cabin were invisible from where the rudder stood, which should give Regulus the cover he would need to figure out how to free one. There was also the problem of in which direction he should sail, since he had no idea of where he was, but he would focus on that once he was actually free. He knew how to navigate by the stars and could therefore somewhat determine the direction to land. Once he then reached land, getting back to the castle wouldn’t be a problem.
There was no clouds present, and Regulus was happy to find that his brother was visible in the night sky. Regulus didn’t believe in any kind of superstition, but a part of him took the visible star as a sign. Sirius was with him, and he was going to make sure Regulus got home safely.
A wooden board creaked behind him, and Regulus’ head whipped to the side in an instant, his heart stopping completely for a second. Regulus’ palms were sweaty, and his right hand was clenched around a dagger he had found abandoned in a corner under the deck. It wouldn’t be of much use, but it made Regulus feel safer to have something to cling to.
Despite the sound, there was nothing on the deck. No one was threatening him to get back into his hammock or pointing at him with a sword, but Regulus’ heart was still hammering as if there were.
The thing was, Regulus wasn’t afraid of the actual hit from his mother, nor was he afraid of the anger simmering on her face when she believed he had done something wrong. No, he was afraid of her when she didn’t show her real emotions, when she smiled and approved, and when Regulus couldn’t tell if she was mad or not. He feared those moments where he wasn’t in control, where he didn’t know what was to come, where he was trying to appease her but didn’t know if he was failing or not.
There wasn’t a lot that scared Regulus, but not being in control was definitely one of the few.
Regulus forced himself to take a few deep breaths and tried to ignore the roaring voice in his head telling him he didn’t have the time to stop.
Stay calm, keep going. Stay calm, keep going. Stay calm, keep going.
The deck was empty. No one knew what he was doing. He was safe for now.
He just had to be fast and silent. Fast and silent.
After another second of silence, Regulus continued across the deck, staying flush with the wall. Every muscle was ready for whatever lay in store, and Regulus was surprised to find that his hands were steady and not shaking. Yet, his mind was roaring with a deafening silence that could eventually drive him insane.
Stopping at the corner, Regulus turned to look in both directions before venturing out of the shadows and onto the open deck. The nearest lifeboat was only a few metres away, and Regulus’ eyes scanned for a way to free it before his hands even reached the ropes.
Regulus had already surveyed it from a distance, mentally noting different ropes and knots to manipulate. However, in the darkness, he couldn’t make out what was what. Everything appeared to be identical, and panic began to rise rapidly. It felt like every heartbeat was a ticking clock, counting down the time until someone would catch him.
Regulus desperately wished he knew what number his heart had reached.
The waves were raging beneath him, preventing Regulus from climbing onto the railing to access the knots and strands of rope further up. He was already in danger enough as it was. The knife in his hand didn’t make his mission any easier either, but there was no way Regulus was going to let go of it.
Maybe, his mind supplied, he should stop fussing and just cut it down?
“Regulus?”
Regulus froze.
Froze as if he could simply pretend he wasn’t there. He didn’t exist. He was nothing but another shadow in the dark. He was an imagination, not real, didn’t exist, didn’t-
“Regulus.” James’ voice was more insistent this time, and maybe that was what did it. That James knew he was there, that Regulus was real and attempting to steal a lifeboat right in front of him.
Regulus whirled around, knife lifted to defend himself. His back hit the railing, securing him on that front, and he locked his eyes on James’ frame illuminated by the faint starlight. James’ sword hung from his belt as it had when Regulus first met him, but even though his sword wasn’t drawn yet, Regulus knew he still had to watch out.
A shadow passed over James’ face, and Regulus hated that he couldn’t discern if it was anger, disappointment, sadness or something completely different. He hated that he wasn’t in control, and he hated that he was afraid.
“Let me go,” Regulus sneered, wishing he could back up even more, wishing there was somewhere to run, somewhere to go. But there wasn’t, and despite Regulus’ words, James took a careful step closer. His eyes were calm and calculated and undeniably warm and inviting.
“Don’t,” Regulus warned helplessly, trying to keep the shake out of his voice. “I’ll kill you.”
James paused as if he needed a moment to contemplate whether Regulus meant it or not. His brows furrowed in concentration, and after a second, he took a step forward, likely coming to the wrong conclusion that Regulus was bluffing.
Regulus lashed out, fast and precise, and James hissed as he was too slow to dodge. The dagger sliced James’ forearm and wrist, causing him to pull back in an instant, his uninjured hand instinctively reaching for his sword.
Regulus quickly retreated. He felt like a hunted animal.
“Regulus-”
“I will kill you. Don’t you fucking underestimate me.” As Regulus carefully began walking backwards, James wasted no time following, keeping a little distance between them. He didn’t draw his sword – not yet – but his hand remained on the handle, a clear warning to Regulus.
Slowly, the panic flooded to the surface again. He wasn’t in control. James had a sword. He could call the others for help. Regulus didn’t know how to launch a lifeboat. He was alone. He needed assistance, he needed air, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t-
“Stay,” Regulus gritted out, “the fuck away from me. Do you hear me?”
Regulus waved the dagger. He was nearing the stern of the ship, where the railing curved in the opposite direction. While he could try to follow it around the ship, he wasn’t sure James would let him pass.
“Regulus, put the knife down.”
Oh, how Regulus hated how calm James sounded.
“No.”
“Regulus-”
Regulus back hit the railing, signalling that he had reached the stern, and just as he had anticipated, James instantly cut off Regulus’ only escape by placing himself between the two inwards-curling railings that connected behind Regulus.
“Okay, listen,” Regulus hissed. His right hand still held the dagger aloft. However, the other left it to grip the railing behind him. “If you let me go, I won’t tell anyone anything about any of you, just... Let me go.”
James had stopped trying to get closer, probably because Regulus had nowhere to go now. But Regulus wished he would stop looking pitiful and just move on. Do his job, put Regulus in shackles or kill him. It didn’t matter as long as he stopped gazing at Regulus apologetically, as if he really felt bad for him.
“Regulus,” James sighed, once again as if he knew a secret Regulus didn’t, and Regulus really couldn’t help but snap.
“Quit saying my name like that!”
James opened his mouth before closing it again and looking down at the floor. Slowly, he drew his sword, and though Regulus tensed up, a small part of him felt excited in that morbid and manic way. He could work with a sword; he could fight it in a way he couldn’t fight a sorry smile. Despite the danger, the comforting sense of control slowly returned to Regulus.
James tossed the sword to the ground a couple of metres behind him, and as Regulus fixed his gaze back on James, every sense of control crumbled under James’ intense stare.
“Regulus, I’m gonna need you to give me the knife,” he said, offering an outstretched hand to Regulus, who shook his head repeatedly. “You know I can easily disarm you, so, please, let’s not make this any harder than it has to be.”
Regulus didn’t stop shaking his head, pressing himself into the railing behind him. “No.”
“I’m giving you a warning, Regulus, just-”
“No.”
James was upon him in less than a second, and this time he had no problems avoiding Regulus’ dagger. His hand grabbed Regulus’ wrist with the knife, twirling it out of the way, and he gracefully slid into Regulus’ space from behind. Regulus detected the attack too late, and his attempt at elbowing James was useless. The dagger was wrenched from his hand, landing on the floor with a loud clatter, and James’ foot instantly kicked it out of reach. His other hand grabbed Regulus’ other wrist, and with a swift spin, James had Regulus pinned to the railing, both of his hands trapped between his back and the black wood behind him.
It reminded Regulus of their first meeting.
“Regulus, stop fighting.”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” Regulus hissed back, desperately trying to pull his shoulder out of James’ stone grip. It was tight enough to be painful, but there was no way Regulus was going to mention that to James.
“Regulus.” If James didn’t hurl him into the cold water behind them soon enough, Regulus would do it himself – and he’d drag James with him. “Regulus, listen!”
The last word rang through the night, and James’ hands tightened just a tad as he shoved his face so close to Regulus’ that Regulus could feel his ragged breath. This time there was no pity to track on his face, no apology, no anything, only firm annoyance and calm anger. Regulus glared back coldly, but he stopped fighting against James’ grip, nonetheless. He hadn’t seen James this angry yet, and Regulus took it as a win that he was able to get James to seethe this much. However, the victorious feeling quickly subsided, replaced by fright.
James had pressed him so far back against the railing that Regulus’ upper body was practically hanging over the edge, and Regulus knew it wouldn’t take much before he actually fell over. A part of him almost wanted James to do it.
Push, push, push, that psychotic voice in his head chanted.
“Regulus,” James said, his voice underlined with a lethal anger. “I’m not going to let you go.”
Regulus kept his face neutral. He let James scan his face for emotions and gave him absolutely nothing to go off. If James wasn’t going to give Regulus what he wanted, there was no way Regulus was going to give James anything at all.
He was a hostage, not a friend. Despite how James clearly wanted things to be, Regulus was still kidnapped.
As James continued, Regulus kept on scowling and glaring coldly.
“You can’t bribe us into anything, so don’t try, and trust me when I say, you won’t ever get a chance like this again. I’ll make sure of that.”
Regulus didn’t care. He didn’t care. James’ words didn’t make an impact on him, and he showed absolutely nothing on his face.
He didn’t care.
James sighed.
“I don’t want to have to tie you up, to lock you in the cabin, Regulus. That shouldn’t be necessary, but I will do it if I have to. Can’t you just...”
Slowly the anger left James’ face again, replaced by the pitiful grimace.
“Can’t you just cooperate a bit?”
Regulus’ scowl vanished in less than a second, his jaw dropping. Seemingly, James had calmed somewhat down, but the anger was definitely simmering in Regulus.
“Cooperate? You’re holding me hostage! What the fuck do you expect?” Regulus yelled. The railing was pushing down on his wrists, but Regulus barely registered the pain.
“Would you rather I tied you up, huh?” James yelled back, the anger quickly resurfacing. “Would you? Because sure, I can do that. I just thought being able to do whatever the fuck you want was nicer, but sure, I clearly don’t know shit.”
“Whatever the fuck I want?” Regulus repeated in disbelief. “Whatever the fuck I want? Is that what you wanna call it? You wanna know what the fuck I want, James? I want to not be trapped on a damn pirate ship.”
“I’m trying, okay! I’m trying to make this as easy as possible for the both of us, but it isn’t easy. That’s the thing.” James closed his eyes, taking a deep breath in as he did so. “I don’t want to have to kidnap you, to hold you hostage like this, but there’s things I have to do. So please don’t fight it.”
James opened his eyes again, and Regulus hated that he felt guilty for the pained look in them.
“Regulus, I know you don’t trust me in any way, but I’m going to ask you to anyways, and in return, I’ll promise you that no one and nothing will ever get to harm you as long as you’re with me.”
Somewhere in the back of Regulus’ head, he was aware that the pressure on his arms had been reduced and he thus easily could wrench himself free, but Regulus didn’t dare to move. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to.
Regulus had always been amazed by James’ big brown doe-eyes, but seeing them from a distance was completely different from staring directly into them. Not only were the brown irises filled with threads of gold creating a pattern that looked like a flower with the pupil as the middle, but the gold also formed a net surrounding the petals and lightening the brown furthest away from the pupil. Up close, James’ eyes looked like lightning, like a painting, like sunflowers and a deep pool of endless brown, brown, brown.
Regulus had to remind himself to breathe.
In. And out.
Never once since they had met had Regulus trusted James fully. He had never blindly believed James’ words and had constantly doubted his motives, but now, with James looking into his soul, promising to protect him – and oh, how Regulus hated how weak his knees felt – now, Regulus couldn’t understand how he had ever questioned James’ sincerity. Regulus knew now. Oh, he definitely knew. James meant every single damn word, and Regulus was pretty sure he himself was one second away from fainting.
“Why?”
The word was barely even a sound and more of an exhale. James heard him, nonetheless.
“I have my reasons to act as I do, love, and you have yours.”
James had practically confessed he was being paid to kidnap Regulus, which meant he had to know who Regulus was, and maybe that should scare Regulus, make him want to fight James, but in all honesty, Regulus felt safe.
I’ll promise you that no one and nothing will ever get to harm you as long as you’re with me.
James was a pirate, he was a criminal, but Regulus believed his words, his morals. He may have ended up around the wrong type of people, doing dirty work, but deep down, James had a moral code to follow, a heart. Regulus had seen that in James’ eyes, and he believed in James’ sincerity, so if James said he was safe, he was. With James, no one and nothing could harm Regulus.
You’re a fool, Regulus, his mother’s voice sighed, and for once Regulus didn’t agree with her.
He wasn’t going to follow James blindly, he wasn’t going to stop fighting his kidnappers anytime soon. He wasn’t going to give in and fall in love like he was the main character in a sappy and unrealistic love story. No, Regulus was still a fighter, and he was going to find a way back to the castle, back to his friends and his life. He wasn’t caving in any way; he was only accepting a bit of help from a genuine soul to make things easier.
James would keep him safe until Regulus found his way home.
“I don’t think anyone has noticed anything,” James said, his gaze flickering to the empty deck behind them. Regulus wouldn’t admit to it, but he secretly dreaded that James broke their eye contact and thus took away that comforting sense of protection. “If we’re lucky, they’re all still asleep.”
James’ gaze returned, and his grip on Regulus disappeared as he gave Regulus a half-smile. Regulus couldn’t help but think he looked like a tired and innocent boy.
“Regulus, if you promise me this is the only time you try to pull a stunt like this, I promise you I won’t tell anyone about tonight. It’ll be a secret – a mistake that won’t happen again, okay?”
Promises. It seemed James liked those. The nagging voice in Regulus’ head couldn’t help but ask what the next promise would be about, the next little secret.
Stop it, Regulus cut in. He wasn’t doing that. James was helping him, and that was it.
That was all there was to it.
“I promise,” Regulus lied.
James was kidnapping him, but he was genuine, and a good soul with good intentions, a flair for helping others, and a sweet smile.
Regulus, though, wasn’t a good soul. He was going to take advantage of whatever help James would offer.
“Good, now get back in the cabin and get yourself some sleep before someone realises you’ve been gone.”
Regulus nodded, mumbled a small “goodnight” and didn’t even try to pick up his dagger on the way back into the cabin.