Rising
James isn’t expecting Lucius to grab him. He certainly isn’t expecting Regulus to take his other arm a second later, fingers tight around his wrist as Malfoy apparates them away before James even has time to scream.
Panic flashes through him as the world drops out from beneath his feet and rejoins him somewhere else. His friends are still back there. He can’t just let himself get kidnapped - not while the fight’s still going.
Because that’s what this is. He’s being taken as a hostage.
He becomes acutely aware of that fact when his feet touch solid ground and he lands in the middle of what appears to be a front stoop, surrounded by Death Eaters.
Regulus, wet and shaking next to him, doesn’t release the tight hold he has on James’s wrist. Lucius, however, lets him go and grabs his wand, holding it under James’s chin.
The Death Eaters around them either watch or disapparate, obviously drained from the fight and using this as a waystation- a layover between the beach and their homes.
James assumes he’s in front of Grimmauld place. If Sirius’s numerous descriptions didn’t do the trick, the house number on the wall certainly does. Lucius opens the door and shoves James inside, moving quickly. Regulus leads him through the house, hand still closed around his arm.
A shrill rush of fear courses through him when Lucius presses the wand harder against his neck. “Get the Dark Lord,” he hisses to the nearest masked figure. They stop in the living room, backs to the large fireplace. Regulus’s fingers tighten on James’s wrist.
“He’s out currently.” Walburga steps into the room, dark black hair coiled into a tight bun on the back of her head. She glances over James with her usual disdain and James tries to fit as much loathing as he can into the look he gives back. He hates her.
“Potter. Fascinating. Good work, Regulus.”
James chances a look down at Regulus’s face. He’s staring at his mother, pupils dilated, lips slightly parted. His hair plasters against his forehead, clothes sticking to him at every angle. There’s a small damp spot on the carpet under where he stands. Regulus’s eyes flick to his, widening just slightly in a clear warning. I’ve got this, he can almost hear him say. Just stay quiet.
James immediately disobeys, thrashing against Regulus’s hold and Lucius’s wand. Lucius hisses and sends some sort of stinging curse through his body, subduing James.
James’s heart pounds in his chest as Walburga moves closer, studying him carefully. “The Dark Lord will be very pleased.”
“Where is he?” Regulus asks next to him, voice shockingly calm. A new miniature surge of anger tears through James at the betrayal. He shouldn't have expected anything else- Regulus has always been a Death Eater, and told him as much. He attacked Peter on the beach. Still, James thought… he thought there was still hope.
“Let me go,” he spits, still not recovered enough from whatever Lucius hit him with to truly struggle.
Everyone ignores him. Some cloaked figures hang around, taking off their masks and collapsing onto the couch. Most of them, though, move towards the door, and soon the room is mostly empty save the few that chose to stay behind.
“He’s on official business,” Walburga says cooly. “He took the elf.”
Again, Regulus’s fingers clench around James’s arm. “When will he be back?”
“In two days, though really it could be any time.”
“Can we get this over with?” Malfoy interrupts, jamming his wand further into James’s throat.
“What would you do, Lucius?” Regulus glares.
“Obviously Walburga should search his mind for anything useful and then kill him. It’s the only thing that makes sense.”
“You forget the Dark Lord asked for him specifically. How do you think he’ll react when he comes back to find his requested hostage already dead?”
Malfoy glares, blond hair glinting in the low light. James thrashes again, mostly recovered, and tries to evaluate his options.
He could run. Maybe. The door isn’t far, but between him and it there are about ten armed people who all want him dead. He needs to tell Sirius he’s okay- though maybe he should hold off on that one. Malfoy’s looking particularly murderous. He can feel his breath catch in the back of his throat. Now is really not a good time for a panic attack, he thinks, desperately trying to get his heart rate back under control.
“Maman, we can’t kill him. Not yet. Not before the Dark Lord gets back.” Regulus’s expression is blank, but then-
Then something interesting happens.
His thumb, pressed against the inside of James’s wrist, starts to move back and forth in little soothing motions. James shudders despite himself, trying to focus on the small point of contact. The gentle pressure over his pulse helps him concentrate, clearing his mind.
“I agree.” Walburga moves closer to James, sneering as she looks him over. “So just a mental sweep, then.”
“No,” Regulus says quickly. Her eyes snap to his. “I’m sorry, Maman, but the Dark Lord told me he wants to be the one to examine Potter. I think he wants to be the first to know whatever Potter has to tell us.”
James stares at him. Regulus’s gaze is fixed firmly on his mother, but James can see the shaky rise and fall of his chest. James is fairly certain he just pulled half of that out of his ass. Is he… protecting him? Is that what this is?
Lucius scoffs. “So what? We’re just supposed to wait? What do we do with him till then?”
“A good point.” Walburga says, turning back to Regulus. “Maybe we should stun him until the Dark Lord returns.”
“We’d risk muddling his brain,” Regulus says. “We need him calm and thinking clearly.”
“What would you suggest, then?”
Before Regulus can respond there’s a shriek and Bellatrix Lestrange enters the room, wiping blood off her cheek and grinning. “What a marvelous fight! Such fun. I can’t wait to-” She cuts herself off, eyes widening dramatically at the sight of James. “A hostage!” She cries, moving forward. “Oh, Reggie, good job.”
“It was me, actually,” Lucius pipes up on the other side of him, but nobody seems to pay him any mind.
Bellatrix pulls out her wand and James instinctually shrinks back. “Fuck off,” He manages, trying and failing to keep his voice steady.
“Bella.” Regulus lets go of his wrist and the sudden absence of contact somehow makes things ten times worse. “We’re waiting for the Dark Lord to return. He wants him first.”
“Surely he won’t mind if we have our fun before he gets back,” Bellatrix hums, closing in.
For the first time, James catches a hint of uncertainty in Regulus's eyes. He gives James the quickest look, pleading, and James gets the sinking feeling this one might be harder to get out of.
“We need his mind intact,” Regulus says cautiously.
“Oh, we can do that.” Bellatrix grins, pressing closer, and James backs up against the fireplace.
“Stay the fuck away from me,” He hisses, but knows if he actually fights back he’ll make everything much worse.
“I had so much fun in the battle, but I'm still in the mood for a bit of blood.” Her eyes flash, and fear sinks deep into James’s stomach. “Aren't you?”
Regulus steps forward. “Don’t-”
“ Crucio .”
And James falls.
It’s agony, pure and unfiltered, searing through every inch of him. He’s never felt pain like this before, and never will again. He curls into himself, making some sort of sound he doesn’t have the capacity to identify. Every nerve tears itself apart, just to rebuild and burn up all over again. He’s shaking, he thinks, as each of his limbs erupt in hurt.
He doesn’t know how long it goes on. He doesn’t care. He just wants it to end.
And then, miraculously, it does. The pain recedes to a harsh ache that settles into every bone, leaving him trembling and weak on the carpet.
“-enough,” Regulus is saying, standing above him with a hand outstretched, grabbing Bellatrix’s arm. “He can’t take it. The Dark Lord will be furious if we mess something up.”
“I hope you’re right. Otherwise you’ll be wasting such an opportunity.” Despite her protest, Bellatrix steps back, and Regulus breathes a small sigh of relief. “One’s enough for me,” she sing-songs.
James can’t move yet, can only squeeze his eyes shut as he tries to come to terms with the amount of pain that just surged through him. How did Sirius take that so often, he wonders blearily.
“What do we do, then?” Walburga asks, stepping forward and wrinkling her nose at James like he’s a stain on her carpet.
“Let me take care of it.” Regulus doesn’t look at him. “I’ll figure out something to do with him. The Dark Lord would trust me with this, Maman, you know he would. Let me handle it.”
Walburga stares at him for a minute, unreadable eyes locked on her son. James struggles to push himself up on his elbows, gasping for air. “Fine. I assume you know to take his wand off him immediately. Don’t let him roam around. Don’t let him speak to anyone.”
“Of course.”
“And if he says anything of importance, tell me immediately.”
“Naturally.”
“Now go. Get him off my rug.”
Regulus turns, bending down to pull James to his feet. He steadies him carefully, breath hitching as he moves them towards the stairs. “Regulus,” His mother calls behind them. Regulus freezes, forcing James to a stop as well.
“Oui?”
“Why are you dripping wet?”
James feels the shudder that runs through Regulus’s entire body, and remembers what he looked like kneeling over Rosier’s body in the sea.
Oh.
“The fight was on a beach,” Regulus says, voice empty. “I fell in.”
“Get changed. I can’t have you leaving puddles everywhere, especially when we don’t have Kreature to clean up after you.”
“Of course,” Regulus says, sounding hollow. James doesn’t dare speak. Then Regulus pushes him forward, up the stairs and down the hallway, into the last door on the corridor.
It’s his room, James realizes, looking around. There’s a twin bed on one side, a small desk on the other, tucked under a grimy window. The dark rug on the floor somehow does nothing to make the place look more inviting.
As soon as the door shuts behind him, Regulus shoves himself away from James, crossing to the other side of the room and taking a gasping breath. He presses his face into his hands, shoulders shaking. With what, James can’t tell.
“Reg-”
“ Don’t .”
Regulus braces one hand on the wall and sinks down, drawing his knees to his chest and making a small sound. Everything in James itches to reach out and help, to take him into his arms and make everything better.
But that’s not what they do.
His muscles ache as he lowers himself onto the floor, taking a few deep breaths of his own. He’s alive, at least. He somehow got out of that with all his limbs. And now he’s stuck in Number 12 Grimmauld Place as Sirius’s younger brother holds him hostage. The flood of adrenaline from whatever that situation just was slowly seeps out of him.
How the fuck did he get here?
The fight on the beach was violent and a lot more than he was ready for- too many spells flying in too many directions. The chaos immediately overwhelmed him and all James could do was focus on one thing at a time, running around and helping his friends. Remus’s plan- if that’s what you can call it- worked almost perfectly. He’d explained it to James only seconds before they left for the beach, shoving a protection potion into his hands and telling him to drink. Dorcas went down quickly but Marlene got her out almost immediately, dragging her behind a sand dune to patch her up. Rosier wasn’t so lucky.
James, still trembling from the crucio and too weak to stand, looks back at Regulus. The other boy’s still sitting with his head between his knees on the floor, obviously trying to regulate himself. James wants to tell him it’s alright, that he’s free to cry or scream or do whatever he’s very clearly trying to hold himself back from, but the words won’t come.
“Thank you,” He whispers instead, voice cracking a little. “For whatever you did back there. Thanks.”
Regulus lets his head thump against the wall behind him, letting out a long breath. “I need your wand,” he mutters.
“What?”
“Your wand, Potter. Just- please.”
James, in no state to argue, hands it to him with little protest. “So. Er. How is this gonna work?”
Regulus rubs his eyes. “I don’t know. You’ll- you’ll have to stay here. Just for a few days. I’ll figure something out.”
James blinks. “You aren’t going to let Voldemort have me?”
Regulus gives him a look. “Didn’t you just see what I got you out of? Did it seem like I wanted you to die?”
“Uh-”
“You’re more use to me alive, Potter.”
Oh.
Right.
“Prettier too,” James says. Too soon, maybe, but he can’t help it. Regulus just gives him a dry look.
“I guess I should be grateful Voldemort’s away. At least we have two days.”
“Two days.” Regulus mutters, rising to his feet and steadying himself against the wall. “I- I need to get out of these clothes.”
There’s blood on his sleeves.
James’s smile slips off his face when he remembers. “Shit, Reg, can I-”
“Just. Just stay here. I promise it’s in your best interest not to leave this room.”
Regulus grabs some clothes from his closet and shuts the door behind him, probably changing in the toilet. James watches him go, heart constricting. He wishes he could do literally anything to help. This, he feels, is beyond fixing.
He tips his head back against the bed, wondering what Remus and Sirius are thinking. Oh god, what about his mum? He needs to write them. Needs to tell them he’s okay. After a second of thought he dismisses the idea. He’d never be allowed to send out a letter.
Every inch of him aches, trembling occasionally with a leftover spasm. No wonder Sirius always looked exhausted when he came back from break, hands shaking and eyes tired.
His head hurts too, in a different way than the rest of his body. In the way it has been for months now, thick and ugly. He’s starting to suspect it may have something to do with Reg. Maybe it's James’s guilt surrounding his attraction to him manifesting in a physical way.
When Regulus comes back a few minutes later, he’s freshly showered and changed into clean clothes. James forces himself to his feet, swaying almost immediately. Regulus steadies him by grabbing his arm. He looks him up and down, wincing apologetically. “It’ll get better,” he says quietly. “Your legs will stop shaking in a minute. You’ll be sore for a while, though.”
James nods softly, watching him. Regulus’s lashes glitter as if he’s been crying. James wants to kick himself. Of course he’s been crying.
Regulus throws his clothes in the cabinet against the wall. “You should’ve listened to me when I told you not to come. This is entirely your fault.”
James softens. “I couldn’t have just watched my friends go off without me. What if they got hurt and I wasn’t there?”
Regulus looks away, eyes hard. “What if.”
“Reg.”
“Whatever. Just. You should’ve stayed home.”
James sits forward. “Aw, are you worried about me?”
“Always.” Regulus mutters.
James doesn’t know what to say to that. “Look at me, I’m fine.”
Regulus narrows his eyes at him. “You were kidnapped and tortured, like, half an hour ago. And,” he adds, falling into the chair by his desk. “And I have no idea how to get you out of this without blowing my cover.”
“Wow,” James says. “You really don’t want me to die, do you.”
Regulus just huffs a bitter laugh. “You know too much.”
“Is it because you told me about the beach? You think if he looks through my head he’ll see you give that away?”
Regulus shrugs. “That certainly doesn’t help.”
Outside, the stars glint in the sky. James can’t help staring at them through the grime of the window, wondering how he can still see them through the lights of the city. “Why’d you do that?”
Regulus shrugs. “I needed to warn you.”
“Why?”
Regulus ignores him, propping his chin on a hand. “I can’t teach you occlumency in two days.”
“You know occlumency?”
Regulus stares at him. “Yes.”
“Impressive.”
The other boy shakes his head. “Not really. It took a while.”
“So until the Dark Lord comes back, what then?”
Regulus rubs his temple. “Just… lay low. I can’t get you out, because there’s no logical way for you to escape. I’ll… I’ll talk to Remus. Maybe. I don’t fucking know. I’m so-” he cuts himself off, biting his lip hard and blinking quickly, looking away.
“It’s alright,” James says softly. “Don’t worry about it right now. You did everything you could. I’m fine, you got me through that, somehow. We can figure this out.”
“For the next two days, you won’t leave this room. You can’t. This house is crawling with people that want you dead, and I won’t always be there to help.” Regulus rubs his face. “God.”
“I can’t figure you out,” James whispers from the bed. Who’s side are you on?
“Few can,” Regulus responds.
“You attacked Peter.”
“And I’d do it again.”
“But you also told me about the beach.”
“Just-” Regulus frowns, turning to face him. “Can we- I need- let's talk about this tomorrow. I can’t do this tonight.”
“‘Course.”
“I’m…” Regulus’s eyes flick up to meet James’s. “I’m sorry.”
James nods to the window. “It’s late. You need to sleep. We both do. We have an interesting two days ahead.”
“You’re the hostage,” Regulus grumbles as he stands. “You’re not supposed to be giving the orders.”
James just smiles, deciding Regulus is right. Neither of them can handle anything serious tonight. No deep conversations about loyalties and allegiances or reflections on their current predicament.
Just aches and wounds and things that will be sore for a long time yet. “So. Where am I sleeping?”
Regulus looks around and curses softly. “The floor.”
“Surely not.”
“There’s a rug.”
“Can I get a blanket?”
Regulus stares at him for a minute and then sighs, hanging his head. “Fucking fine. Come on. We’ll take Sirius’s cot.”
So they move one door down the hall and push their way into Sirius’s old room. It almost looks lived in with his raunchy posters and photos stuck on the wall. There’s a large one of a motorcycle right above the bed, and James smiles at it softly. “He got one, you know,” he says to Regulus. “Just a few days ago.”
Regulus swallows, refusing to look at the poster. “Oh.”
They open the closet and drag a cot out that looks like it hasn’t seen the light of day in 50 years. James coughs as Regulus brushes dust off its army-green surface. “I guarantee I can fit comfortably in your bed.”
“No.”
“Please, Reg.”
“Begging won’t get you anywhere.”
“Oh, I bet it will,” James says, and enjoys the flush that creeps up Regulus’s neck.
“You’re sleeping on the cot.”
“Pretty please?”
James sleeps on the cot.
Well. Sleep is a generous word. James lays on the cot and stares at the ceiling, listening to the sound of Regulus’s breathing. The fabric under him is uncomfortable, digging into his back and forcing him to shift positions every five minutes. Every time he closes his eyes all he can see is flashes of the battle, of his friends, of Bellatrix’s face.
Technically the Death Eaters had retreated, right? Did that mean the Order won? Was there something to win, or just something to survive?
He wonders how many people got hurt. How many children his age. Rosier might’ve been on the wrong side of the war, James thinks, but he didn’t deserve to die. No one was supposed to get hurt.
Except. Except they were, weren't they? Because otherwise, what’s the point? Both sides were there with the sole purpose of exterminating the other.
Frustrated, he buries his face in his pillow, and focuses on his heartbeat.
Eventually his body wins out and he drifts into a dreamless land between awake and sleep, half conscious and sweaty. It’s almost like a fever, though he feels physically fine. Mostly. At some point, some hourless moment, he wakes enough to be aware of the sounds around him. Still muddled from sleep he can’t think clearly, thoughts jumbled and misplaced. Above him on the bed, he hears softs hitches of breath. Regulus is crying, he realizes distantly.
He pushes himself off the cot and shifts Regulus over without thinking, sliding into bed next to him and then pulling him back into his chest. James tucks Regulus’s head under his chin, acting purely on instinct. Regulus immediately melts into him, holding on and burying his face in his shirt. Why had he even been on the floor in the first place? They never had a problem sharing a bed before. This is what they always used to do after one of them had a hard day, James thinks sleepily. Regulus likes to hear his pulse. It feels good to have him back in his arms. Warm. Familiar. Maybe, if he holds him tight enough, he can stop him from breaking apart.
James isn’t awake enough to wonder how he knows all this.
And soon, with the warmth of Regulus’s body on his, he isn’t awake at all.
His last thought as he drifts off is that something must’ve happened to the constellations on the ceiling.
---
Remus steps out of the bath, toweling off his hair and slipping into some trousers. He makes his way into the living room, stomach tight. Effie hands him a mug of tea, eyes tired. “Sit. We’re discussing strategy.”
Remus sinks onto the couch next to Sirius, glancing at him wearily. The other boy has said very little since they got back from the beach. “Gotten anywhere?”
Sirius shakes his head, leaning back against the cushions. Effie sighs. “We’re working on it. I- he’s fine. We would know.”
“Would we?”
“He wasn’t on the beach, Sirius. Lily said she saw Malfoy and Regulus take him. He’s… with them.”
Sirius chokes. “Oh god, he’s already dead.”
Remus kicks him. “He’s fine. There’s a reason they took him instead of killing him. He-” Remus cuts himself off. He should never have let James fight. He practically knew what was going to happen. Regulus told him as much, way back when Remus found him in the astronomy tower that night. It’s the entire reason Regulus obliviated James in the first place- there’s been a hit out on him for a while. It’s all Remus’s fault. “Regulus won’t let anything happen to him,” he says eventually. Effie meets his eyes and nods.
“He’s done a lot for James. I just- I pray he’ll do this too.”
Sirius sits forward. “What the fuck?”
“Uh-”
“What has Reg done for James?”
Remus just sighs, shaking his head. “We’re getting off topic.”
“No we aren’t.”
“Sirius,” Remus snaps. “The fucking Death Eaters have Prongs. All that matters right now is how we’re getting him back.”
Sirius visibly deflates, letting out a breath. “Right- yeah. Shit.”
Effie gives Remus an odd look. “We need to arrange a meeting. Are they- is this a ransom thing, do you think?”
“I don’t know.” Remus looks up. “Can’t we talk to Dumbledore?”
“He’s on his way now.”
“Is he actually going to be helpful?”
“He’s our only option. I don’t see what else we can do.”
Sirius looks up. “I need to talk to Reg.”
“Is that really a good idea?” Remus asks at the same time Effie says “what?”
“He said he’s not with him. He said he doesn’t believe in blood supremacy. Maybe I can convince him. Apologize, beg, do whatever I need to do.”
“Sirius,” Remus says softly. “That’s not gonna be necessary.”
“It might. And if it is, I will.”
“I agree,” Effie says suddenly. “I think we need to find Regulus.”
Remus groans, dropping his head into his hands. There are a lot of secrets swirling around this room, and they’re closer to the surface than ever. Everything, he guesses, is about to go to shit.
---
Regulus wakes to the soft light of the morning sun streaming through his window and onto his face. He blinks slowly, trying to focus his vision. He’s pressed against something warm, and for a minute that drowns out everything else.
Then it doesn’t, and he pushes himself back. James is fast asleep, eyelashes brushing his cheeks as he breathes. He’s got Regulus tucked to his chest, arms wrapped around him protectively.
Regulus stares at him, head reeling. What- what the fuck?
Memories drift back to him in pieces. Last night- what happened? He was crying. And James had woken up, crawled into his bed like it was nothing, and pulled him into his chest. And Regulus…
Regulus had let him.
Why?
Why was he crying?
He makes a sound as the memory hits him like a punch to the gut. Evan. Evan, Evan, Evan-
Regulus grabs James’s shirt and pulls himself back in, smothering himself in his chest, every inch of him trembling. He doesn’t care anymore. Doesn’t care what James knows or doesn’t, doesn’t care if this can only end badly. He just needs him, desperately, all-consumingly.
He’d left Evan on the beach.
He shouldn’t have done that.
Maybe Barty got him. Maybe Barty came back, maybe he washed the blood out of Evan’s hair and took him somewhere better.
Somehow, Regulus doubts it.
And then Regulus had essentially kidnapped James. Or, co-kidnapped James. They’d materialized in front of Grimmauld place, and Regulus’s brain switched off. After that he was moving on autopilot, mind buzzing as he did everything he could think of to protect him. It wasn’t until they got to his room that everything came rushing back.
And now he has two days to figure out how to get James out of being tortured and killed.
It’s fine.
He gives himself five more seconds in James’s arms, counting down silently. He breathes in his scent and tries to memorize the feeling of James’s body on his.
When his time’s up he pushes back, carefully extracting himself and standing up. His chest aches. He rubs it absentmindedly, pulling on some clothes and trying desperately not to think.
When he leaves, he sends a locking spell at the door. He feels a little bad, but he really can’t have James wandering around.
His mother’s waiting for him in the kitchen.
“Good morning.”
Regulus nods at her, silently taking a seat at the table.
“Hungry?”
He shakes his head.
She puts her hands on the table, sighing. “Regulus, please. Be a little more responsive. We have a lot to discuss.”
“Do we.”
“The Potter boy. How did last night go?”
“Fine.”
“You took his wand?”
“Yes.”
“And there are no sharp objects in the room? Maybe we should put him in the guest bedroom.”
“So he can escape when we aren't watching? He needs to be monitored.”
She watches him carefully. There’s a pause. “I heard about Rosier.”
Regulus closes his eyes. “Yes.”
“It’s a shame. If he hadn’t been so brazenly-”
“Maman, please.”
She presses her lips together, staring at him with something almost resembling pity. “I don’t think I need to tell you not to make the same mistakes.”
“Where’s Snape?”
“I believe he went home. He’s not staying here anymore since you finished your potions.”
Regulus rises quickly, grabbing some fruit from the counter and slipping it into his pocket. “I’m going to go talk to Potter. I’ll be back later.”
He leaves his mother in the kitchen and climbs the stairs, knocking once before slipping into his room. James sits on the edge of the bed, bathed in sunlight, sliding his glasses on. He looks up as Regulus comes in, eyes widening. “Fuck.”
“Morning.”
“I was hoping it was just a bad dream.”
Regulus gives him a look, sinking into his chair. “You woke up in my room, in my bed.”
James sighs. “True. How’d that happen, by the way? I don’t remember.”
“I’m sure you don’t.”
“Not that I’m complaining,” James says quickly, and Regulus rolls his eyes. It’s too early for this.
He reaches into his pocket and hands James the fruit he stole from the kitchen. “Breakfast. Enjoy.”
James takes it and bites down without hesitance, looking up as he chews. “Thank you. Did you- I mean, I assume you already ate?”
Regulus glances away. “I’m not hungry.”
James’s eyes soften in that particularly horrible way. “You should eat.”
“ You should be focusing a bit more on your current predicament.”
“Right. About that. Did you lock me in?”
Regulus shrugs. “I did what I had to do.”
“I feel like you didn’t have to do that.”
“You would’ve left.”
“No,” James says indignantly.
Regulus narrows his eyes. “Then how’d you know the door was locked?”
“...I was just testing it.”
“Mhm.”
They stare at each other, and after a moment James winces. He touches his hand to his forehead lightly, just once, before flopping back on the bed. “So.”
“So.”
“Am I really being held hostage?”
“Yes.”
“It doesn’t feel like it.”
“That’s because I’m substantially kinder than the rest of my family.”
“Not Sirius,” James mumbles. “I miss him.”
“You just saw him, literally yesterday.”
James raises his head to look at him. “Yeah, but that was in the middle of a battle. That hardly counts.”
At the mention of the battle Regulus looks down, focusing on the carpet. He wants his chest to stop hurting. He wants James to hug him again. He wants to see Evan.
He wants a lot of things.
“You’re going to have to stay here while I figure something out,” Regulus says eventually. “I- you can’t leave this room.”
“Can I have my wand?”
“No.”
“Can I take a piss?”
“...Yes.” Regulus sighs. He didn't think this through. “Come with me.”
He opens the door and leads James down the hall to the toilet. “Go on, then.”
James winks and shuts the door behind him.
Regulus leans against the wall opposite, running his hands through his hair and contemplating his situation. He huffs a little laugh. He has to hold his ex, the boy he loved and then obliviated, hostage in his room for two days while he tries to figure out how to save him? While grieving the loss of his best friend? Fine.
James pops his head out a second later. “I need to shower.”
Regulus stares at him. “You’re going to go out through the window.”
“...no.”
He absolutely was.
“How am I supposed to trust that?”
James blinks at him with those wide chocolate eyes. “I have an idea.”
And that’s how Regulus ends up sitting inside the bathroom, head falling back against the door, while James showers. He’d resolutely shut his eyes when James changed out of his clothes, desperately ignoring his comments.
“Uh- so- I need to tell Remus and Sirius I’m alright. Also Mum.” James calls from behind the curtain.
Regulus sighs. The worst bit is he’s right. “I know.”
“They probably think I’m dead.”
“You might as well be,” Regulus mutters.
There’s a pause as the sound of rushing water fills the space. “...Really?” James asks after a minute.
“Not if I can help it.”
“Ah, are we going to talk about that yet?”
“No.”
“Lovely.”
“Almost done?”
“Might go quicker if I had some help. Care to join?”
Regulus throws a bar of soap at the curtain, relishing in the resulting yelp. “Stop.”
“Towel?”
Regulus hands one in, averting his gaze when James steps out with it wrapped around his waist. He makes his way to his feet, fully intending to leave, when James says “Reg?”
Regulus turns, sighing internally. “What?”
“I- Uh. I don’t know where I put my glasses.”
Regulus digs into his pocket and holds them out. He’d taken them as collateral, just an extra layer of precaution. James reaches out to grab them and Regulus becomes suddenly aware of their overwhelming proximity. The towel is slung low around James’s hips, showing off his torso and all its ridges for the world to see. Swallowing carefully, Regulus remembers when James walked into the wrong changing room at school and saw him shirtless and fresh out of the shower. He’s starting to think he understands why James couldn’t string a single sentence together.
The universe really must hate him.
“We need- go.” Regulus steps to the side and gestures vaguely at the door, pointedly ignoring James’s bemused smirk.
Once they’re back in the room, James yanks on some clothes and plops back on the bed. “Can we talk now?”
“About?”
“You. Us. This.”
Regulus falls into his chair, crossing his legs and casting a silencing charm around his room. Everything in him crawls with dread. He’ll tell James anything he asks, of course. They’ll both be blamed for the repercussions. “Fine.”
---
James smiles, stomach turning over with anticipation. He stares at Regulus, gaze piercing. Finally, he thinks. You’re letting me figure you out . “So.”
Regulus arches a brow. “So.”
“Why did you save me? Before the beach and last night?”
“I had my reasons.”
“I thought we were going to talk.”
Regulus heaves a bitter sigh, as if this conversation is physically paining him. “We are.”
“What about earlier, in the alley? You let Remus speak to you. And you told Sirius you don’t support Voldemort, but everything you do points to the contrary.”
“It’s …complicated.”
“So uncomplicate it for me.” James all but begs. “Explain. Tell me. I obviously have the time.”
“Honestly, have you not put it together yet?” Regulus sits forward, staring at him intently. James shifts under the weight of his gaze. “I told you about the beach. I’ve desperately avoided hurting you. I just saved your arse, like, three times over. I’m a traitor, James. I’m actively working against the Dark Lord. I’m a Death Eater in name, nothing more.”
James’s head swims with questions and then overwhelming relief. “Then… then why not join the Order? Why not take Sirius up on his offer?”
Regulus scoffs, fingers digging into his knees. “My brother has never once known what he’s talking about. And the Order-” Regulus cuts himself off, expression twisted into a simmering fury. “The Order can go fuck themselves.”
James stares at him blankly. “But… but I saw you attack Peter.”
Regulus rolls his eyes. “He’s the spy.”
“What?”
“Merlin, you really are kept in the dark. There’s a spy in the order, someone reporting to Voldemort.”
James raises his brows. “And you think it’s Peter?”
Regulus nods, looking so tired, curls falling in front of his eyes. James resists the urge to reach out and brush them aside. “I know it’s Peter. He revealed himself to me, thinking we were on the same side. It just… it just took a while for me to believe him.”
James snorts then, chuckling at first and then full out laughing when Regulus’s expression doesn’t change. “Peter? Wormtail? Not a chance.”
“He gave me the spell Remus made to get out of the lockdowns.”
James’s stomach drops out. No one was supposed to know about that. How the fuck did Regulus find out? “Who told you about that?”
“I just said. Peter.”
“No. He wouldn't've. So who-”
“James. He gave me the spell, but I obviously assumed it was a trap and didn’t use it. I gave it to Barty, and he used it yesterday to get out of a lockdown to come to the beach. It’s how he and- it’s-”
Regulus stops talking, staring at the ground. James can see his knuckles turn white where he’s balled his hands into fists. James kicks his foot out, letting his leg rest next to Regulus, calves brushing. It’s not much, but it’s all he can offer. The need to comfort him, to make him feel better, comes to him instinctually. It makes his head spin.
“We can come back to this,” He says softly. “There’s time.”
Regulus, not looking at him, nods.
“You’re really a traitor?”
Regulus smiles, a little sad. “Yeah. I’m surprised it took you this long to figure it out. I can’t believe I had to straight up tell you.”
“I just- I didn't know where you stood before. You’d never said anything explicitly, and you were still fighting for Voldemort, so…”
“I have a persona to maintain,” Regulus shrugs. “It's a lot easier to topple a kingdom from inside the palace.”
“So you’re a spy,” James says, watching him from the bed. This made everything so much easier. At least half of the guilt that’s been weighing him down evaporates. “Sexy.”
Regulus huffs a quiet laugh and James counts it as a victory. “Not a spy. I just have a vendetta I need to fulfill.”
“So what's the plan then, Mr. traitor? How are we getting out of here?”
Regulus gives him a look. “ You . You are getting out of here… somehow. I’m still working on that.”
“Won’t you come with me?”
Regulus’s eyes soften. “You already asked me that once.”
“At school,” James remembers.
Regulus nods. “My answer’s the same.”
“But why?”
“I told you. It’s too late. I know too much to be let go without a fight and it helps to have the cover I do now.”
James knows he pulls a face, but he can’t help it. “I don’t like that answer.”
Regulus rolls his eyes. “I forgot the world is supposed to bend to your will.”
“Absolutely it is.” James nods. “I- is it your mother?”
Regulus huffs a small laugh. “No. She… She’s manageable. So’s Orion. They aren’t the issue anymore. When I was younger the threat they posed seemed much larger.”
James pauses, a thought that’s been plaguing him coming back suddenly and with a vengeance. “Wait- is- did anyone get injured? Is everyone okay? I didn’t think the fight might’ve continued after we left.”
The soft look in Regulus’s eyes dissipates. “I don’t know. I left when you did. We’ve been together ever since.”
“But- if people died-” There’s a sharp edge of panic digging into James’s stomach.
“Of course people died,” Regulus snaps. “People always die.”
“But the Order-”
Regulus’s expression sours. “Because of course those are the only lives that matter.”
And James gets his point. Really, he does, but- “Sirius, Remus-”
“I have no idea, Potter.” Regulus squeezes his eyes shut. “I can’t help you.”
James stares at him, coming back to himself a bit. Potter . Regulus hasn’t called him that in a long time. “I need to know,” He whispers, stubborn.
Regulus holds his gaze for a long moment. “Yeah. You do, don’t you.” He sighs, standing up from his chair and stretching his arms over his head. “I’m going to talk to Lupin.”
“Remus?”
“I’m not very well traveling to Wales, so, yes, Remus. Who I’m mad at right now, by the way.”
James scrambles to the edge of the bed. “You’re going to Godric’s hollow?”
Regulus blinks. “I wasn’t, but thanks for telling me where he’s staying.”
“I’d tell you anything,” James says honestly. Now that he knows Regulus is on his side, his filter’s gone completely. Not that he necessarily had one in the first place, but still.
Regulus frowns at him distantly, eyes clouding with something complicated. James swallows against the need to fill the sudden silence. “He’s going to get a flat soon, but he’s living with us until he does.”
“Us being?”
“Me, mum and Sirius.”
Regulus nods slowly. “Right.”
“Tell Sirius I love him. And Moony too. And that I’ll be back soon.”
“Not a chance,” Regulus says.
“Can I come with you?”
Regulus stares at him.
“Sorry.” James says quickly.
“I’m locking you in here, just for that.”
“What if I have to piss?”
Regulus grabs his coat and opens the door. “Hold it. I’ll be back. Just- sit tight and don’t go anywhere.”
James leans back on the bed and gives him his flashiest grin. “I’ll be waiting.”
Regulus’s lips twitch into a faint smile as he shuts the door behind him. For the first time in two days, James starts to feel the stirrings of hope.
---
When Remus first feels the distortion in the wards protecting Godric’s Hollow, he grabs his wand instantly. He calls Sirius to the living room, Effie being out on errands, and peeks through the window.
The last thing he expects to see is Regulus Black standing in front of the house, staring at it with a rather unimpressed look on his face. “What the fuck?” He hisses.
“What?” Sirius asks, coming up to hover over his shoulder. And then: “Shit.”
Immediately Sirius pushes past him and throws open the door, crossing his arms and marching down the walk. “Regulus!”
Regulus looks up, taking a step back as Remus quickly follows Sirius and shuts the door behind them. “Oh, lovely.”
Sirius shoves Regulus hard in the chest, sending him stumbling. He has his wand out in the next second, pointed at the younger Black’s neck. “What the fuck did you do to him,” His voice turns cold, icy and cruel in a way it only is when it comes to James Potter.
Regulus narrows his eyes, going for his wand. Remus steps in, grabbing Sirius’s arm and pushing him back. “Pads- just- wait. Please.”
“He’s bloody fine,” Regulus spits. “If you’d let me talk-”
“Did you let him talk before you kidnapped him ?”
“Kidnapped is a harsh word, he’s just being held-”
“Held my ass.”
“-in a secure place. I’m trying to tell you.”
“Stop.” Remus says, raising his voice a little and forcefully shoving his way between the two brothers. “Regulus, is James okay?”
Regulus breathes out harshly, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah. Yeah, he’s fine.”
“Good. Why are you here?”
Regulus pinches the bridge of his nose. “...to talk.”
Sirius turns to stare at Remus. “You don’t actually think we should hear him out?”
“He has the power right now,” Remus hisses. “He has James. He knows where and how he is. We can’t risk that.”
“We need to at least call Dumbledore.”
“Absolutely not,” Regulus chimes in. “I’ll leave immediately. Maybe kill James while I’m at it.”
And Sirius, who doesn’t know their history, glowers and takes a half step towards him. Remus rolls his eyes and squeezes Sirius’s arm. “He’s joking.”
“How do we know that?” Sirius glances up at him. “We have no reason to trust him.”
Regulus squints at him. “What choice do you have?”
“Let's hear him out,” Remus murmurs.
“Here?” Regulus asks, glancing around.
“No. Let’s go inside.”
Sirius looks up, eyes wide. “We’re going to let him past the wards?”
“For now,” Remus nods. “For Prongs.”
“Fine.”
Once inside, Regulus looks around the living room carefully. There’s an unidentifiable expression on his face, clouding as he takes in his surroundings. “Sit.” Remus gestures vaguely to an armchair, sinking into the couch opposite. Sirius perches on the arm of the couch, wrapping his arms around himself. Regulus takes a few careful steps and sits on the very edge of the armchair, watching them both suspiciously.
“So?” Sirius demands.
Regulus blinks quickly. “Potter is fine.”
“Fine?”
“Alive. Uninjured, for the most part.”
Remus pauses. “For the most part? Expand.”
Regulus shrugs uncomfortably. “He’s… struggling, obviously. And there was a crucio, but just one. He’s alright.”
“A crucio?” Sirius and Remus ask at the same time, equally incredulous.
“He’s fine,” Regulus says again. His eyes find Remus’s. “I stopped it.”
“Why are you here?” Sirius asks.
Regulus heaves a deep sigh, running a hand over his face. “I need you to break James out.”
“What?”
“I can’t very well let him go, and he can’t escape, so I need you two to come and get him. Forcefully.”
Sirius stares at his brother. “You’re helping us?”
Regulus says nothing, face blank.
“Why?”
Remus wonders how he’s planning on getting out of this.
“If I tell you how to get James, I have a condition. You can’t ask me anything. I can’t… we aren’t there yet.”
Remus stares at him. “Really?”
“Really. I have an agenda here, but it isn’t yours.”
“I- just- whose side are you on?” Sirius asks, voice tearing slightly.
“That's a question.” Regulus says, shifting slightly. “No questions.”
“That’s so unfair.”
“I don’t care. I have James. You have to listen to me.”
Remus leans forward. “And when you says you have James-”
Regulus sighs. “I mean that he’s been entrusted into my care and is currently trapped in my room.”
“Ah.” Remus says, eyeing him. How convenient. Regulus must be loving this.
“What, so you two are just… hanging out?” Sirius asks incredulously.
“We’re not exactly civil. He’s actually quite the pain in the arse.” Regulus says, crossing his arms.
“I’ll bet,” Remus mutters, eyes narrowed. Regulus glares.
“Why the fuck are you helping us?” Sirius interrupts.
“I told you-”
“No questions, sure, but you have to understand this is so unbelievably frustrating.”
Regulus just shrugs, looking around. “Where’s Euphemia?”
“Out,” Remus says, leaning forward. “How’d you convince them to let you take James?”
“The Dark Lord is away on business for two days. I’m… holding on to him till he returns.”
“What, to kill him? Why do they need the Dark Lord for that? Why did they take him alive anyway?” Sirius slides off the armrest onto the couch, shoving Remus over.
“Not to kill him. Not at first. They think, because of Euphemia’s and Fleamont's role in the Order, he’ll know a lot. They want to search his mind. Which is ironic, because he doesn’t seem to know very much at all.”
Who’s fault is that ? Remus chokes back.
“Dumbledore hasn’t been telling him much recently,” Sirius relents. “He’s been… spacy. Off. Everything is on a need to know basis, and James just… doesn’t need to know. Which I guess is a good thing, in this circumstance.
“Well, good is a bit of an exaggeration.” Regulus looks tired, and way too stressed. Remus remembers him standing over Rosier’s body in the sea, and presses his lips together. It's only been one night. “I’m sure he knows too much, either way.”
Remus stares at him, suddenly indignant. “You’re just protecting your own arse, aren’t you?”
Regulus’s gaze flicks to his. “What?”
“You’re worried if they go looking through his head they’ll find something you don’t want them to.”
Regulus sits forward all of a sudden, and Remus can see the fear in his eyes. “I- sure. Yeah. I’m worried they’ll see how I helped him. Also that I told him about the beach.”
“About that-” Sirius interjects, but cuts himself off when Regulus sends him a particularly nasty glare.
“Regardless of my motivations, you need to get him out. I obviously can’t do it. And rest assured, he may be alive now, but as soon as the Dark Lord’s done with him that’ll be a different story.”
Remus itches to call for Dumbledore, but Regulus already ruled that out, so… “Can we at least ask Moody? He’ll have ideas.”
Regulus goes silent, eyes hard. “He’s alive, then?”
“Yeah,” Remus says cautiously, taken aback by the anger in his gaze. “Should he not be?”
“No. No he shouldn’t.”
“So can we ask him?”
“I’ll kill him the second I see him,” Regulus says cooly. “So it’s really your call.”
“No Moody then,” Remus relents.
“Probably for the best.”
“So do you have a plan?” Sirius interrupts.
“No.” Regulus looks back to his brother. “That’s your job. I’m just here to tell you he’s alive and in need of rescuing. I don’t know what time the Dark Lord will be back- maybe tomorrow, maybe the day after- but either way, there’s a time limit.”
“What are you suggesting? You think we should just appear in the living room of Number Twelve and ask Walburga to hand him over?”
“I don’t know.” Regulus rubs his forehead. “I don’t think I should know. That's up to you. If I see you- or if something happens- I’ll go with it. I want him out just as much as you do.”
“Well,” Sirius argues. “As much is a bit of a stretch.”
Regulus snorts. Sirius shifts forward. “Need I remind you,” he says, “you kidnapped him. We’re the one’s trying to get him back.”
“What's the point? You never tell him anything anyways.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Don’t pretend to know him.”
Regulus’s eyes flash and Remus decides to step in. “Listen. We’re his friends. Of course we’re going to do anything we need to get them back.”
“Some friends,” Regulus mutters.
Remus pauses. “What’re you talking about?”
“I told you the Dark Lord was looking for him specifically, and you still let him fight.”
Sirius blinks. “You never said that.”
“Really?” Regulus says, staring at Remus icily. “I could’ve sworn I mentioned it.”
Remus swallows. Guilt curls itself around his stomach, squeezing tight. “I… he was insistent.”
Sirius looks between them. “He told you? ”
“It was… a long time ago.”
“Not too long that you forgot, right?” Regulus says dryly.
“James was always going to fight,” Remus denies, though he knows he’s deflecting. There are only so many excuses he can give.
“Oh, and he’s never been a bit stubborn before.”
“Let’s focus,” Sirius interrupts.
Regulus looks back to him. “Fine. Do you… have any questions?”
“How’s James doing emotionally? Has he talked about me?”
Regulus rolls his eyes. “Yes. You two are so painfully codependent.”
“Hardly.”
Regulus crosses his arms. “Potter wanted me to ask- is everyone okay?”
Remus clears his throat. “Alania Dogberry was killed, but we didn’t know her. She was working out of Scotland. Also Bert Farnie, though I’ve only met him once or twice. And…” he takes a breath.
“The werewolves that were turned back… two of them were killed.”
“By Death Eater scum.” Sirius mutters.
Regulus zeros in on him. “Death Eaters? But the werewolves were on the Dark Lord’s side.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Sirius grits. “They’d cut down anyone that doesn’t serve them.”
“As if the Order is against killing,” Regulus shoots back, rising from his seat. Sirius and Remus join him.
“If they’re being actively attacked, yes, members of the Order aren’t against defending themselves-”
“With Avadas?”
Sirius takes a step forward and Regulus stands up straighter, eyes glinting. “Hardly.”
“Might wanna let Moody in on that,” Regulus hisses.
“Oh, so you’re talking about Rosier then.”
“Don’t say his name.”
“He took his eye out-”
“-something I imagine he very much deserved. Evan isn’t- Evan wasn’t one to injure without cause.”
Sirius scoffs. “He was a fucking Death Eater. He had the Mark. He obviously wasn’t opposed to pain.”
“You don’t understand-”
“I understand he was attacking Moody when he died. I understand Moody did what he had to.”
“He was standing still,” Regulus hisses. “He was injured. He was obviously done. When I saw him he was about to pass out-”
“He was a threat.”
“He was hurt.”
Remus shifts uncomfortably when Sirius moves even closer. Should he stop this? Could he? “He was still holding his wand.” Sirius grits.
“Moody could’ve stunned him. He could have restricted him. No one had to be killed.”
“Like you’re so against death.”
Regulus’s face is sharp, cold compared to Sirius’s burning one. Fire and ice. “Evan was cut down unnecessarily, sides be damned. He didn’t deserve to die.”
Sirius laughs, and even to Remus it sounds cruel. “Oh, come off it. He was a bad fighter and a worse person. Don’t idolize him just because he’s dead. He made his choice.”
Regulus’s face shuts down completely and Remus knows the look of danger when he sees it. He sneaks a hand into his pocket, ready to go for his wand if he needs to. Regulus stares at his brother, not moving a muscle. When he speaks, his voice comes out so low Remus almost doesn’t hear it. “He was standing still.”
Sirius takes a step back. “Reg-”
And then Regulus turns and shoves past them, throwing open the door and stalking down the front path to the street. He disappears as soon as he’s past the wards, disappearing into space.
Neither Remus or Sirius move for a moment, staring at the space he left behind on the sidewalk. Then Sirius seems to deflate next to him, letting out a long breath. “Shit.”
“You shouldn’t have done that,” Remus says softly.
“I know.”
“He… we were getting somewhere.”
“I know.” Sirius turns, pressing his face into Remus’s shoulder. “He just… he makes me so angry.”
“And you think attacking his recently dead best friend was the way to express that?”
Sirius lets out a small groan. “I don’t know. No. I- he has James. I just…”
“And he was telling us about it. He was being cooperative and helpful.”
"I shouldn't- yeah. That was not the right thing to do."
"Maybe not."
“No chance he’ll come back?”
Remus sighs, reaching up to rest his hand on the back of Sirius’s head. “I think that bridge may have burned. But it’s alright. We know a lot more now than we did earlier. We know James is alive, we know he’s under Regulus’s care. We know we have two days. We know Regulus is on our side, at least concerning this.”
We know he’d die before he lets James get hurt, Remus thinks but doesn’t say.
“We just have to figure out how to get him out.” Sirius mutters. Remus nods. “We will. Let's just be grateful he’s still breathing.”
“Why was he here?” Sirius whispers.
Remus ducks his head, and says nothing. He’s not sure, at this point, if it really matters if Sirius knows. It’s been so long. He has a sinking feeling he’ll figure it out soon enough. And yet, there’s an itching cloying little voice in the back of his mind that says it’s not his secret to tell. It’s James’s. And since James can’t, it’s Regulus’s. He wraps his arms around Sirius and says “I think Regulus is a bit more complicated than we’re giving him credit for.”
“I thought…” Sirius sighs. “I thought he did care, maybe. He visited Fleamont’s grave. He told James about the beach. He came here to help James.”
Before Sirius can find the common denominator between those things Remus clears his throat. “You said he told you he doesn’t support Voldemort. Maybe he’s finally taking action.”
“Why couldn’t he have taken action before? When it mattered?”
“It matters, Sirius. It matters a lot. He’s trying to save James.”
“I guess I meant- why-” Sirius shakes his head, pressing it harder against his shoulder. “Why now?”
“You’ll have to ask him.”
Sirius pulls back, leaning against the wall behind him and watching Remus cooly. “We’re calling Dumbledore, aren’t we.”
Remus smiles. “Right after Effie.”
---
Regulus doesn’t look at anyone as he moves through his house, slipping up the stairs and unlocking the door to his room quickly. He pushes it open, pausing in the threshold. James is asleep on the bed, above the covers. His glasses are still on, slightly crooked on his nose.
Regulus enters quietly, feeling at least some of the anger his brother left with him slip away.
He leans down, gently pulling James’s glasses off and brushing his hair back away from his forehead. He sets the glasses down on the side table, turning back to watch James sleep for a minute. There’s a small frown pinching his brows, and before he can help himself, Regulus smooths it over with a thumb. There’s no harm, right? Not when James is unconscious. He leans down, pressing his lips to James's forehead lightly before pulling back and finally moving away.
He sits on the edge of the bed just past James’s feet, staring at the opposite wall and trying to regulate himself. He shouldn’t have rushed into that conversation with Lupin and his brother. Remus he can handle. He’s logical, and Regulus sometimes feels as if they have a certain understanding of each other. Sirius… Sirius is a different story. Regulus has no idea how they lasted so long before blowing up at each other. It’s like he knows exactly what to say to get under his skin. But Evan?
Really, Sirius?
Regulus draws his knees to his chest and tips his head into them, biting his lip through the fresh pang of pain that shoots through him. He’s been running on adrenaline since the beach, every inch of him thrumming with false energy. Aside from that embarrassing moment last night, he hasn’t even let himself feel Evan’s loss.
Not yet, he tells himself. James is still here. James is still curled up in his bed, in danger and restless. He still has to get him out.
Well. That part is at least somewhat Remus and Sirius’s job. He told them what he could and hoped they’d figure something out. His position among the ranks is too good to risk- he can’t just let James go without at least some appearance of outside interference.
Shit .
He’d forgotten to tell Remus about Peter.
He’ll blame Sirius.
James shifts further down on the bed, making a small sleepy sound as he wakes up. “Reg?”
“Thought you were gonna sleep forever,” Regulus mutters, not looking at him. It still hurts too much, and this situation is confusing enough as it is.
“You were gone, what else was I supposed to do?” James sits up, propping himself up on his hands. “You saw Remus? And Sirius?”
“Unfortunately.”
“How are they? Is everyone okay?”
Regulus focuses straight ahead. “Yeah.” He lets out a breath. “Yeah, everyone’s just fine.”
“You look mad.”
“Sirius just- I hate him.”
“You don’t.”
Regulus looks at him. “Yes, I do. You didn’t hear what he said.”
“What did he say?” James scooches across the bed towards him.
“Just-” Regulus really should keep up the cold and calculating exterior. James should be given zero invitations to get close to him- especially after last night. But he’s never been any good at keeping secrets from him, and besides. The world’s already falling apart anyway. “Just something about Evan.”
“Oh Sirius,” James says softly, eyes turning gentle and sad.
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not.”
“I hate him.”
“No, you don’t.”
“You don’t know anything about me,” Regulus says, because really. James doesn’t. Not anymore.
James furrows his brows and reaches out, tucking Regulus’s hair behind his ear, thumb grazing his cheek. Regulus can’t help himself; he shudders, shoulders shaking as he resists the urge to lean into the touch. “What are you doing, James?” He forces himself to ask.
James frowns, lips parting slightly. His eyes are slightly clouded, unfocused yet searching. “I don’t… know.” And then: “My head hurts.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I bet it does. It’s fine. Just. Stay silent. I’m going to figure something out.” Regulus slips off the bed before he does something he’ll regret, sliding into his chair by the desk and pulling out a notebook.
He jots some notes down about the ring, wondering what the other three horcruxes could possibly be. There’s still a lot he doesn’t know. Too much, perhaps. He needs to talk to Snape.
---
James sits on the bed against the headboard, staring at Regulus’s turned back. “Can I have my wand at least?”
“No.”
James rolls his eyes. “I’m not going to attack you. I just want- I just want to know where it is.”
“I have it. It’s safe.” Regulus still doesn’t look at him, scribbling in his little notebook.
“Come on Reg,” James pleads, trying for familiarity. Regulus goes stiff at the nickname, though James doesn’t understand why.
“What?”
“It doesn’t have to be this whole captor-captee situation here. We can be civil, can’t we?”
“I think not.”
“I already said- I’m not gonna do anything. You said you wouldn’t do anything. You’re actively trying to rescue me. You’re Sirius’s brother, and besides, at school we were-“
Regulus turns to look at him then, grey eyes glinting. James finds himself unable to look away. “We were what?” Regulus asks after a moment. “Exactly what were we, Potter?”
“We were…” but again, James finds himself trailing off. The heaviness that’s been haunting his chest for the past few months comes back with a vengeance, pressing against his throat. Really, what was he going to say? They were mates? But they weren’t, were they. So what…
Thinking is becoming difficult and Regulus is still watching him with those eyes . Something thick and cloudy is starting to take over his head, thoughts becoming muddled and weighed down.
“Potter?” Regulus’s brows pinch in a hauntingly familiar way and James lets out a breath because really - what was he going to say?
Responding has gone out the window because he can’t think enough to get real words out. He can’t push past whatever is doing this to him, stealing his breath and making it hard to form a single thought. It’s thick and disgusting and James hates the way it feels, bending over slightly on the bed.
He hears a chair move distantly but all he can do is clutch his head in his hands, trying to expel the muddy fog that’s taken over. What was he saying? What was he talking about? His breaths start to come in short gasps.
What’s happening to him?
Why does he feel like he’s losing his mind?
There’s a weight on the bed and then hands are pulling his wrists with shocking gentleness. The touch is so familiar that James leans into it instinctively, letting out a soft whine.
“James,” a voice says, and instantly the muddy feeling gets worse. “James, breathe.”
James.
James.
James, mon soleil.
James, my love.
What?
Fuck.
James can’t- he can’t remember -
“Shit.” The hands on his wrists are suddenly gone as Regulus stands up. “Potter.” His voice stays cold, impersonal. “Potter, stop that. Get yourself together.”
And for some reason, that helps. “Keep-“ James cuts himself off, unable to form words. It doesn’t matter- Regulus seems to understand.
“This is ridiculous,” he says firmly.
James sucks in a deep breath. “I’m fine. I’m fine. I don’t- normally it’s not that bad.”
“That happens often?”
James closes his eyes, regulating his insides carefully. “Sometimes. Usually I can sort it out after a moment. For some reason you… you make it much worse.”
Regulus stares at him for a moment, and James wishes he could read those eyes. It feels like a language he used to be fluent in- whispers of emotion floating out at him, nothing substantial enough to piece together.
Regulus pulls back slowly, and despite the confusion he brings, James misses him immediately. “Wait-”
Regulus pauses. “What?”
“I want- I need you to-” He leans forward, shifting till he’s on the end of the bed. He has no idea what he’s doing, just that he needs to be closer to Regulus.
Regulus’s eyes go wide as his lips part and James thinks yes , he’s getting somewhere, because that isn’t dislike in Regulus’s eyes but something else entirely, something inviting and familiar that sends his head spinning again.
And then Regulus reaches down and rips up his sleeve and ah. There it is. The Dark Mark, bold and clear as anything on his pale skin. James flinches back instinctually, shutting his eyes against the sight.
“No, Potter, look.” Regulus commands, stepping closer. James forces his eyes open, wincing as the mark almost seems to grow darker right in front of him. “I can’t get this off,” Regulus hisses.
“There’s no spell that can undo it. I can’t cut it off, either, or I’ll bleed out instantly. So this is part of me now. This and all it represents. I may be a traitor, but I don’t regret this. I did what I had to do. I stayed here voluntarily. I let Sirius leave. I’m a Black, through and through. Don’t think that just because my allegiance may be different than what you thought that I’m suddenly someone worth knowing.” he takes a shuddering breath. “You should hate me. Even if I'm on your side, you should hate me, because you should hate this , and it’s a part of me.”
“I…” James swallows, insides twisting. He thinks he might be sick.
“You know you have to agree to get the mark, right? It has to be consensual. And I made that choice.”
“Because you had to,” James says, voice scratchy.
“So would you have done it?” Regulus asks, eyes sharp and searching. “If you were in my position, would you support him and pledge your allegiance like this? I’m bound to him forever now.”
“No,” James manages, because it's the truth. “No. I would’ve died first.”
Regulus’s eyes dim slightly. “Yeah. Exactly. So for all your useless… flirting , James, just remember who I am and what I represent. I have the mark. I’ll always have the mark. This is me.”
James moves back and Regulus nods decisively. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
“Reg-”
“I’m going to talk to my cousin. Don’t touch anything.”
And with that, Regulus shoves past the bed and out the door, locking it after him.
---
Regulus tries to clear his head as he moves downstairs, adjusting his shirt and sucking in a few deep breaths. He hopes that was enough to stop James, at least for now.
He finds his mother in his father's study, sitting behind her desk and adjusting papers. She looks up when he enters. “Regulus.”
“Maman.” He steps in. “Do you know where Bella is?”
“She’s in the spare room, I believe. After your friend Snape left, she took up temporary residence.”
“That’s why she came back here after the fight,” Regulus realizes softly.
“Mhm.” she glances up. “How’s Potter?”
“Fine.” He pauses. “Asleep.”
“Did you curse him?”
“...yes.” Best to have his mother thinking he’s keeping James subdued.
“Good. The Dark Lord is set to return around noon tomorrow.”
Regulus closes his eyes briefly. “Good to know.”
He turns and exits before she gets the chance to reply, heading up the stairs past his room to the next floor, where he knocks on the guest bedroom door. It slams open magically, revealing Bellatrix laying on the bed.
“Come in. Oh, Reg.”
Regulus shuts the door quietly behind him, eyeing her warily. “I had a question.”
“Well?”
“Tomorrow, when the Dark Lord examines Potter, will it be him casting the ligilimens?”
Bellatrix shrugs, sitting up. “I have no idea. You’ll have to wait and see.”
“And then he’ll be killed, yes?”
“If all goes well.”
Regulus nods, chewing his lip and looking down. “Okay.”
“Oh, your friend stopped by earlier. I sent him away.”
“Who?”
“Crouch.”
Regulus takes a few steps forward, heart clenching. “What? He was here?”
Bella shrugs. “I sent him away. He looked mad.”
“I-” Regulus swallows. “You should’ve let him see me. I would’ve liked to talk to him.”
“Was it about that Rosier kid?”
Regulus grits his teeth. People really need to stop bringing up Evan. “Potentially.”
Bella looks him over, eyes gleaming. “I don’t see the big deal.”
“He was his friend. He was- we were close.”
“Weak, if you ask me.”
“...What?”
“He died from an Avada. You know how avoidable those are?”
“He was injured.”
“Exactly.” Bella stands, stretching her arms above her head. “He shouldn’t have let it get that far.”
“Moody had used diffindos by the looks of it,” Regulus says, trying not to lose his composure.
“Avoidable,” Bellatrix says again.
“Not if you’re fighting.”
“Lets see,” Bella says, and before Regulus can react she has her wand out, pointed directly at him. He grabs his own just in time, throwing up a shielding charm that her white spell glances off, slicing into the wallpaper.
“Are you mental?” He spits, scrambling backwards. “Inside?”
She tips her head. “Wallpaper can be repaired. I’m experimenting.”
“On me ?”
“Who else?” She shoots another curse and Regulus scrambles to the door. “Stop running!”
Regulus grabs the handle and twists it just as she sends another curse. This one, unfortunately, hits its mark. A slice tears through Regulus’s side, sending a rush of pain through him so strong all his muscles turn to jelly for a moment. And then adrenaline kicks in and he shoves the door open, stumbling away from her room.
“Fucking hell,” he mumbles, pressing a hand to the wound and moving down the hallway. Why was everyone in his family literally batshit crazy?
“Come back!” Bella calls from her door. Regulus just flips her off and starts the laborious process of descending the stairs. His side aches. He’s fairly certain his shirt is at least half soaked in blood by now. Another wave of pain washes over him and he has to pause, taking a shuddering breath.
He finally gets to his door, shoving it open and pushing through, collapsing against it. “Shit,” he mumbles, sinking to the floor.
“What the fuck?”
Regulus looks up as James scrambles towards him, sinking down, eyes wide. “What the fuck happened?”
“My cousin.”
“You were gone for like two seconds!”
“Yes, well.” Regulus grits his teeth. “She happens to be clinically insane. This is why I do my best to avoid conversations with her.”
“This is so fucked up,” James says, but he looks so worried, and Regulus melts a little.
“It’s not bad. Not deep at all, just long. Don’t worry. She wouldn’t do anything that would actually hurt me.” Lie. “Look.” he lifts his shirt, showing James the wound. He’s right. It’s not deep at all. That doesn’t stop it from hurting like a bitch.
“I need… let me help you,” James says suddenly. “I need to help you.”
“Knock yourself out,” Regulus says, too tired to protest, even if he should.
James helps him slide his shirt the rest of the way off, examining the wound. “I need your wand.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Please, Reg, you need magic right now.”
Regulus rolls his eyes but hands it to him anyway, praying James stays a Gryffindor. James casts a cleaning charm, wiping the rest of the blood away. He touches the wound gently and Regulus hisses through his teeth. James looks up at him apologetically, scooching closer and running his fingers over the cut. “Episksy,” he murmurs, and Regulus almost wants to laugh.
“There are bandages under the bed,” he says.
He realizes his mistake a second to late, and when James the bedskirt to reveal the mess of blue fabric concealing the Basilisk fangs and vials of venom, he can’t help but curse lowly.
“What’s this?” James asks, looking back at him.
“Nothing. Just- Just focus, please.”
“But-”
“Sort of bleeding out here.”
“Shit, sorry.” James grabs the medkit and pulls out some gauze and bandages, tipping Regulus forward so he can wrap his torso. When he’s done he leans back to examine his work. “Good. I think.”
Regulus looks down at himself and nods. “Acceptable, certainly.”
“I can’t believe she cursed you.”
Regulus rolls his eyes. “She was testing out a theory.”
“On you?”
“That’s what I said.”
James sits back and pauses, glancing back towards the bed. “...Can we talk about the mysterious bundle now?”
Regulus sighs, closing his eyes and hanging his head. What the fuck. Why not. He already saved him and confessed to it- If Voldemort really looks through James's mind they're both dead anyway.
“Have you ever heard of a horcrux?”