No Greater Sin

“So…” James sits forward, burying his head in his hands. “So.” 

“So.”

“Voldemort is immortal?”

“Temporarily.”

“And you and Snape…”

Regulus blinks at him. “It’s a work in progress.”

James curses, lifting his head. “Snape is a traitor? Really?”

“Same as me.”

That in of itself makes James’s heart clench with happiness- or maybe relief. 

“How’d you find out?”

Regulus shrugs. “I put veritaserum in his tea.”

“Ah. How Slytherin of you.”

“Well. It worked out.”

“Why was he here anyway?”

“We were working on a potion for the Dark Lord together. Gas protection.”

“Oh,” James says. Then: “ Oh . That’s why Remus’s potion had no effect on you guys.” 

“I suppose.”

“That’s sort of funny actually.” He pauses. “Where’s Snape now?”

Regulus’s expression darkens. “I don’t know. I need to see him. The bastard has something of mine.”

They go quiet for a moment. “Does Dumbledore know? About the- about the Horcruxes?”

“Yes. I went to see him to get information.”

“And he just told you? Wait- so he knew you weren’t with Voldemort?”

“Yeah.”

“Why wouldn’t he tell us?”

“Dumbledore has been trying to get me to spy for the Order for longer than I can remember. After I told him the Order had a traitor, I assume he realized it wouldn’t be safe to release that information until he knew who it was. And Pettigrew has always been good at flying under the radar.”

There it is again.

“If there is a traitor, Peter isn’t it.” James says resolutely, because he isn’t. He can't be. It’s inconceivable. 

Regulus narrows his eyes at him. “I told you-”

“He would never do that,” James insists. “I don’t know what you thought you heard, or how you interpreted his words, but he’s a Marauder. He just wouldn’t.”

“Fine.” Regulus rubs his forehead. “Fine. I won’t push it.”

“I just- it seems dangerous for you to have your mind made up about this. The real traitor could be out there and here you are just dismissing all other options.”

Regulus frowns. “We’re getting off track.”

“Right. Horcruxes. So how many are left?”

“Three.”

“...Any ideas?”

“No.” 

“Maybe we should talk to Dumbledore.”

Regulus’s mouth twists. “I don't want to.”

“I know. But-”

“He would’ve told me.”

“Would he? That seems like an awful security risk.”

Regulus sighs, obviously bitter. “I’ll figure it out. I-”

He’s interrupted by a knock on the door. Regulus sends James a sharp look and rises, opening it slowly. “Oh. Good.” he pulls it the rest of the way open, revealing Snape on the other side. James narrows his eyes. 

“So,” Snape drawls, pushing in. “you took in Potter.”

Regulus shuts the door behind him. “They were going to kill him.”

“I don’t see why that’s such a big issue.” Snape sneers.

“The Order needs him alive.”

“Since when do we care what the Order needs?”

James raises his brows. “So it’s true then. Snivilelus is a traitor.”

“Something you should really be grateful for,” Snape intones drily.

“I don’t need your help.”

“Yes you do,” Regulus cuts in. “You need any help you can get.”

James crosses his arms, huffing. “I don’t see why you can’t just let me out a window.”

“Wards,” Snape and Regulus say at the same time, and James decides he hates this particular duo. 

“Also,” Regulus adds. “There’s no way you’d get out a window with me letting you out. And that compromises all of us.”

“Well. Not me.” Snape adds unhelpfully. 

Regulus looks at him. “Yet.”

“Yet?”

“Potter watched you and Lupin talk civilly. If he’s caught and the Dark Lord sees that in his memories, you’ll at least be called in for questioning if not an examination.”

“Plus, you know, the Horcruxes,” James comments. 

Snape snaps his head to look at Regulus, furious. “You told him about the Horcruxes?!” 

Regulus sighs. “He found the Basilisk Fangs. I promised- I swore to the Dark Lord that I hadn’t taken any. I’m already dead if that gets discovered. Plus, I figured that it wouldn’t matter. And maybe he could help.”

Snape collapses into the chair next to Regulus’s bed. James finds himself mildly surprised at the ease in which Snape and Regulus settle into the space, as if they’ve spent many hours here together. He supposes they have. “So I’m in this now.”

“You’re in this now.” Regulus confirms.

“And we have to get him out.”

“...Yes.”

“Fuck.”

“Sorry my existence is such a burden,” James grouses. Snape and Regulus both glare at him. 

“I told you not to come to the beach.”

“I couldn’t very well just sit by.”

“You could’ve, in fact. We’d have avoided this whole mess.”

“So what’s the plan, then?”

Regulus sighs, taking a seat next to him on the bed. James tries and fails not to flush at his proximity. “I talked to Lupin and my brother. I told them where you are and the time frame they have to rescue you.”

“So we just wait for them to show up?”

“We have to have a plan b,” Regulus says. “There’s a very slim chance they’ll pull this off. Additionally, the Dark Lord could return at any time tomorrow. We don’t have the luxury of trusting them on this. Shit, I wish Kreature was here. He could get you out without aggravating the wards.”

“So I can’t escape,” James says slowly, thinking it over. “Can we fuck with what the Dark Lord will find when he looks in my mind?”

Regulus shakes his head, biting his lip. “There’s not nearly enough time to teach you Occlumency, and it can’t be done by another person.”

“Wait,” Snape says, sitting forward. “As loath as I am to admit it, Potter may be onto something- for once in his life. What if- and hear me out- we just take away the memories he’s trying to find? Just the dangerous ones?”

Regulus goes completely stiff next to James, who sits up a little straighter. “Wait- yeah,” He says excitedly. “What if you obliviate me?”

“No.”

“But I think it would work,” James says quickly. “Just the important stuff, as Snape said. Just you telling me about the beach and the fangs and basically everything since.”

Regulus pushes forward on the bed. “ No .”

“But-”

“It’s too dangerous. Messing with your head that much-”

“But it wouldn’t be anything big, nothing determentale, just what's necessary.”

Snape smirks. “Plus if he comes out the other end any more of a blithering idiot than he already is, the world won’t be losing anything special.” James flips him off, a gesture Snape promptly returns. 

“No,” Regulus says again, voice deathly cold. James is taken aback by the icy resolve in his eyes. “It’s too dangerous.”

“What's too dangerous is Voldemort finding out everything I know about the Order and that you two are very much traitors who know his biggest secret.” 

“We can find a way to reverse it, if that’s what you're worried about.” Snape waves a hand. “Some talented Legilimens can bring memories back, especially if it hasn’t been too long.”

“But-” Regulus looks at James quickly. “Obviously they’d assume it was me who did it. How would that fix anything?”

“Shit,” Snape mutters, sinking back into his chair.

“Also, there’s no way to remove specific memories. It’s all or nothing.” 

“That’s not true,” Snape says, and James almost doesn’t catch the glare Regulus sends across the room. “There are some books on it. Your father might have some, actually. His library is surprisingly extensive.”

“I said no,” Regulus insists, standing. Snape rises too, gesturing at James. 

“I’m not worried about his bloody mental health, Black. I’m worried about us making it out of this alive. If he’s caught, it’s over. I think it’s worth the risk.”

“Reg,” James tries, voice soft. “Just-“ 

“Snape, give me the stone.” Regulus cuts him off, taking a few steps forward. “You took it off me when after the shack, didn’t you? Before you brought me back?” 

“Yeah. But-“

“Don’t push me on this.”

James has no idea what either of them are talking about, but he lets it go in favor of watching silently. 

“Is it the best idea… so soon?”

“I need it. Now, Severus.” 

They stare at each other, eyes locked. Something James doesn’t quite understand passes between them. Eventually Snape heaves a sigh. “I suppose you do, don’t you.”

He fishes something out of his pocket, handing it to Reg who grabs it quickly. “Okay,” He says, letting out a deep breath. “Okay. I need a break. I’m going to go… do something. Don't kill each other or yourselves.”

“Where are you going?” James asks, shifting towards the edge of the bed. Even stronger than his desire not to be left alone with Snape is the overwhelming need for Regulus to stay.

“Just- away.” And then the door shuts behind him, and James and Snape are left in suffocating silence.

“Well,” James says finally.

“Don’t talk to me.”

“He’s being difficult. Is he normally like this?”

Snape shoots him a scathing look. “How should I know?”

“But it’s a good idea, isn’t it?”

“My good idea.”

“Definitely not. Why is Reg so dead-set against it?”

Snape’s lip curls. “ Reg ?”

“Regulus. Whatever.”

“I have no idea. He’s very stubborn about certain things. They don’t always make sense.”

“But it’s a good idea. It's our only idea.”

“He most likely has a point. Besides, they’d know immediately that one of us obliviated you.” 

James grimaces, looking away. The greasy bastard has a point. Unless… “Unless I did it myself.” 

Snape stares at him, leaning forward slightly. “Especially if you did it in front of them.” 

“I’d need my wand.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s just in his desk drawer,” Snape says, then pulls it open to prove it. “We can give it to you to hide until you need it. The Dark Lord could come anytime tomorrow.”

“ We ? Regulus doesn’t seem quite on board with this plan.”

Snape tips his head. “Maybe we don’t tell him, then.”

Everything in James immediately protests. “But-”

“Black may be a little peculiar about some things, but I would much rather stay alive than go against his wishes. He isn’t in charge.” 

“He should be. He is. This is his house- his room-”

“Oh, I’m sorry, maybe I should call the Dark Lord and he should kill us all right now. Get it over with, you know?”

“Fine. Fine .” James glances towards the door, filled with bottomless guilt. “How long do we have?”

Snape’s expression darkens, just slightly. “I don’t know. Long enough, if things go well for him. I’m going to go get books on memory charms. Hopefully Black stays occupied.” 

“What’s he doing?”

“None of your business.” 

“Fine.” 

“Fine.”

The door slams behind him. 

---

Regulus spends about ten minutes pacing back and forth across his attic floor before he caves and pulls out the stone. Spends another ten staring at it.
Finally he turns it three agonizing times between his fingers. Nothing happens, and his stomach sinks.

“Oh,” Says a voice behind him, and Regulus whips around, heart jumping. But it’s just Harold, looking around with crossed arms. Regulus lets out a long breath, taking a few steps back.

“It’s you.”

“Hoping for someone else?”

“Always.” Regulus moves to a dusty trunk, sinking on to it and resting his head in his hands. “I wish I could choose who appears.” 

“Who did you want this time?”

Regulus just shakes his head, biting his lip and attempting to fight off tears. It’s difficult to breathe through the wave of disappointment that threatens to drown him. “I just thought- I thought he’d come.” 

“Who?”

Regulus wipes his eyes furiously, blinking fast at the ground. He doesn’t want Harold. He never wants Harold. He isn’t Evan. He isn’t Saskia. “Just go.”

“You have to drop the stone.” 

Regulus’s fingers tighten around it instinctually. It stays firmly in his grip. 

“Did something happen?” Harold asks, his voice getting closer. 

A few wet tears trace their way down Regulus’s cheeks. He squeezes his eyes shut. He’s so sick of crying. “I thought he would come,” he says again, voice breaking. 

Harold goes quiet for a minute, just watching. “Your friend.”

Regulus snaps his head up. “You’ve seen him? He’s there?”

Harold’s eyes soften slightly. “Sometimes.”

“How- how do you know he’s my-”

“He feels like you. Just a little. Like your soul has brushed his in passing.” Harold laughs hollowly. “I don’t really know how to describe ghost logic to someone still alive.”

“Is he alright?”

Harold’s smile falters. “He’s dead. He’s seventeen. I don’t think anyone could be alright, considering.” 

Regulus lets out a harsh breath, sitting back and wiping his cheeks with his sleeve. “Right. Okay.”

“I wish I could tell you more. I have no real idea how the stone works. Neither do you, I don’t think.”

“I’m wondering…” Regulus stares down at dusty wooden floorboards. “If I give it to someone who maybe knew him better, do you think he would come?”

Harold considers. “There’s a definite chance. What was the… nature of their relationship? I imagine that would matter. I mean, Merope only came when you were talking about her son.”

Regulus opens his mouth, closes it. Hums lightly. “I don’t know. I don’t think they knew.”

“More than friends, then.”

“Yes. More than friends.”

Harold stares at him. “And you want to give the stone to him?”

“If… if it helps, yes.”

“You wouldn’t see me anymore.”

“No.”

“Do you know how the original story goes?”

“...No.”

There’s an odd look on Harold's face, slightly haunted and a little sad. “Well.”

“Are you gonna tell me?”

“No. You should read it on your own.”

“I don’t think I want to.”

“Then give your friend the stone.” 

“Okay.” 

Harold pauses. “You look tired.”

Regulus almost laughs. “My ex-boyfriend took over my bed last night.”

Harold blinks in shock. “Ex… boyfriend? What?” 

“No. Not boyfriend. Not ex either, really, since we never fully broke up.” 

“You broke up but you weren’t dating?”

“We didn’t break up. And- we weren't boyfriends. I don’t know what we were.”

“Like your other two friends?”

“No. More than them. More defined, at least.”

“And yet you have no definition to give me.”

Regulus just shrugs. “Whatever. It’s over now. Despite his best efforts.”

“Why is he here, then?”

“He got himself kidnapped.”

“And ended up in your bed?” 

Regulus sighs. “That was of his own volition.” 

“I see. You didn’t kick him out.”

“I’m weak. We know this. I do need to get him out before he gets himself and me killed, though.” 

“What are you gonna do?”

“I have no idea,” Regulus says honestly. “Fight everyone, if I have to.”

“You’re going to get yourself killed.”

“If I have to,” Regulus repeats, “I don’t care. I won’t let him die.”

“But-” 

“The door will be guarded, plus the entire house is covered in wards, so he wouldn’t even be able to run. With the Dark Lord’s return, the house will be swarming with Death Eaters. Snape wants me to obliviate him.”

“The pale boy.” 

“Yes.”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

Once is dangerous enough. Twice, though, on the same brain? James might be messed up beyond recognition. “I- ah. Um. Let’s just say it wouldn’t be safe. Also, even if he has nothing to offer, he’ll just be killed anyway.” 

“So.”

“So I’ll probably be joining you tomorrow.”

“Well,” Harold says after a moment. “I hope you don’t.”

Regulus lifts his head to look at him, taking him in for the first time. “Thought you hated me.”

Harold’s mouth twitches. “I do. I wouldn’t wanna be stuck with you for eternity.” 

“Right.” Regulus chuckles despite himself, standing slowly.

“Am… am I going to see you again?” Harold asks. “If you give the stone to your friend?”

Regulus moves to the door, throwing him a shaky smile over his shoulder. “Someday.”

Harold nods, eyes crinkling slightly. “My girls?”

“Still alive.”

“Regulus?”

“Yes?”

“You owe it to me- and them- to live.”

Regulus doesn’t look at him when he drops the stone back into his pocket. “I wish you were Evan.” 

---

Remus finds Effie in James’s bedroom, folding his clothes. “Hi,” he hums, knocking on the doorframe before sliding his hands into his pocket. 

Effie looks up sharply. “Oh- Remus. Hi. How’s everything going?”

“Fine.” Remus bites his lip, looking down. “Not really.”

“I figured. Come sit.” 

He makes his way over to James’s bed, sinking onto it and staring at the quidditch posters he has up on the far wall. “I’m worried about Sirius. I don’t like this plan.”

Effie nods, taking a defeated seat next to him. “None of us do, I don’t think. Moody and Dumbledore certainly hate it, but it’s basically our only option.”

“We need to do it tonight. Early. I don’t want James stuck there another second.”

“I know.”

“What if Sirius goes in too late? What if the Dark Lord’s already come and gone? What if Prongs is-” Remus shuts his mouth, deciding laying this all out on

James’s mother is maybe not the best move. “No, Regulus told us. If we go in any sooner we may risk messing up whatever plan he has going on.” 

“I’m not so sure he has one,” Effie says softly. “Sounds like he left that up to you.”

“He’s the worst,” Remus groans, tipping his head into his hands.

“He can’t be,” Effie says, “if he put himself in that much danger just to tell James about the beach and then you about this.” 

“Yes, well, he can still be the worst with a weak spot.”

A smile tugs at the corners of Effie’s lips. “James.”

Remus sighs, nodding.

“I thought it was interesting he helped with Monty’s potions. He was the reason he lived as long as he did, actually. That kid has talent.”

“Sirius still doesn’t know, does he?”

Effie shakes her head. “Not unless you’ve told him.”

“One day,” Remus mutters. 

“Should I worry about how Regulus will treat James?”

“Unfortunately, no.” Remus laughs bitterly. “From what I can tell, he’d burn the world down before he’d let your son get hurt. The amount of things they’ve both sacrificed…”

“So they were together, then?”

Remus bites the inside of his cheek. “...Yeah. At school.” 

“I figured. James used to talk about him more than he realized, I think. Plus, the potions…” 

“I wonder why he never told you.”

“He sort of did, in a way. But recently it’s been… off. He’s been off. He told me as much, so I know he sees it too. He’s just fuzzy.”

Remus resolutely doesn’t look at her. She catches on. “Remus? Do you know something?”

He says nothing.

“Did Regulus… does he have something to do with it?”

Slowly he nods, letting out a deep breath. “Regulus has the Dark Mark.”

“I know. I mean, I thought that was-”

“James knew.”

“...Oh,” Effie says after a moment, and he knows how she feels.

“He wouldn’t let Regulus push him away, wouldn’t let him… break up with him, for lack of a better term. He didn’t see- or maybe didn’t care- that their relationship was putting himself in danger.” He smooths out the comforter under him with a hand. “Regulus cared. A lot. He saw what was going to happen, long before it did. But as he tells it, James wouldn’t go, so…”

Effie just keeps watching him so Remus gives in. Enough secrets are out already. What’s one more? “He obliviated him. It’s drastic, I know. And insane. And dangerous. But as much as I hate to admit it, it makes sense. And it worked, for a while. I guess it wasn’t enough.”

Effie stares at him, eyes wide. “He obliviated him? Completely?”

“No. Just the memories of the relationship.”

“What- he-” 

“I know.”

“But-”

“I know. He’s insane.”

“That’s why James is so confused everytime I bring him up.” 

“Yeah, probably.”

Effie blinks at him, still shocked. 

“I know,” Remus says again in sympathy. “I can’t imagine what it’s doing to him, being trapped there.”

“Both of them,” Effie mutters softly. “Poor Regulus.”

“No. Not poor Regulus. He brought this upon himself.” Remus looks away. “He didn’t… he didn’t have to do that.”

“Sounds like he did, though.”

“Fat lot of good it did him. Look where James ended up.”

“Yeah, but that’s James’s fault, isn’t it? Regulus even warned him.”

Remus just huffs and stares at the floor. Effie rubs his back soothingly and he melts into her a bit. “I know you’re worried, sweetheart. We’ll get James back. Regulus will keep him safe for us until we can. Sirius knows what he’s doing. It’s a good plan.”

“It’s risky. I hate sending him back into that house.”

“He’s strong. He knows his limits.” 

“He’ll ignore them if it means saving James.”

Effie lets out a deep sigh. “He’s really got both the Black brothers wrapped around his finger, doesn’t he?”

Remus laughs lightly. “I don’t know how he does it.”

Effie ruffles his hair and stands up. “Let's go talk to Sirius. That might help, won’t it?”

“Maybe,” Remus concedes, rising with her. 

“So,” She says as they pass into the hall. “I’m guessing Sirius has no idea about any of this.” 

Remus just sighs. 

---

When Regulus opens the door, Snape quickly kicks the books they’d been reading under the bed and James slides to the floor to cover them. Regulus shuts the door behind him, eyeing them suspiciously. James blinks right on back.

“Any ideas?” Regulus says eventually, moving further into the room.

“No. Not really.”

Regulus lets out a breath and sinks into a chair. “Snape, will you be here tomorrow?”

“Hell no. If I can help it, I’m getting as far away from this place as I can in case we can’t get Potter out. I’m not dying for him.”

“Understandable,” Regulus mutters, resting his chin on his knees. 

“Did it work?” Snape asks then. “The stone?”

“No.”

“Oh. I’m-”

“Don’t.”

“Fine.”

James looks between them. “Er- Regulus?”

“Yeah?”

“...I’m hungry. It’s sort of dinner time.”

Regulus rolls his eyes but stands anyway. “Stay here. Both of you.” Then he’s gone, and Snape turns back to him.

“A little obvious, don’t you think?”

“What?” James says, confused. “I’m actually hungry. He hasn’t fed me since this morning.”

“Oh, I thought- nevermind. You’re an idiot.” Snape tucks his hair behind his ears, mouth twisting with distaste.

“Listen, just because we’re working together on this doesn’t mean we have to get along-”

“We aren’t working on anything together,” Snape hisses. “We're figuring out how to stop you from getting me and Black killed.”

“Can we focus?” James snaps. 

“Sure.”

“So you think just concentrating on the particular memories I want gone will work?”

“I have no idea, but that’s the gist of occlumency. I don’t see why it wouldn’t be the same. It’s like meditation. Just clear your abnormally large head and focus on everything you want erased.”

“What if I mess up? What if erasing only certain memories turns out to be impossible?”

“It isn’t. We read the same book, didn’t we?” 

“Fine.” James shifts uncomfortably. He doesn’t love the idea of fucking around in his mind, but what other option does he have?

“Do you need to go over the wand movement again?”

“No, I’ve got it. I- it’ll be fine.”

The door swings open and Regulus hands James a bowl of soup. “Turns out my mother is a shit cook. Enjoy.” 

“It’s fine,” James says. “My mum is trying to teach Lily how to cook- I think she’s always wanted a daughter, too many boys she says- but she can’t get past eggs. In her defense, eggs are horrible.”

Both Regulus and Snape go stiff at the mention of Lily, though James has no idea why. “She’s teaching Marlene too,” he says, in an attempt to fix whatever he did.

Regulus clears his throat. “Is it working?”

“Not particularly, no.” James pauses. “My mother may be a bad teacher.”

“Okay,” Snape interrupts, standing. “I’m not here for small talk. I’m leaving. I guess… contact me if you figure something out. If you don’t, no need. I’ll probably be dead.” He pauses in the doorway, eyes locked on James’s. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but good luck.”

James doesn’t move and Regulus nods silently next to him. Snape lets out a breath and shuts the door behind him.

“I hate him,” James says immediately.

“I know.” Regulus stares at the door. “Yeah.”

“This soup is… not good.”

Regulus raises a brow at him as James takes another bite. “You wish it was Evans’s soup?”

“I told you,” James says, swallowing his mouthful. “She can’t cook.” 

“Neither can Walburga.”

“Apparently.” 

“My mother did say something helpful. The Dark Lord is currently staying with Bellatrix at the Lestrange manor. He’ll visit in the morning.”

“Helpful, you say?”

Regulus rolls his eyes. “She also wanted to make sure I’m keeping you restrained.”

“You can restrain me anytime.”

Regulus makes a particularly rude gesture with his hand and James chuckles.

Neither of them speak for a moment.

“What are we gonna do?” James says eventually into the silence. 

Regulus lets his head drop back against the bed. “I don’t know. I don’t.”

Outside the window, the sun sets. 

“Why won’t you obliviate me?” James asks softly.

Regulus just shakes his head next to him. “It’s just a very bad idea.”

“Worse than letting Voldemort poke through my memories and kill us both?”

“I don’t know, ” Regulus says again, obviously frustrated. “It’s not a good option.”

James nods, mulling that over. Doesn’t mean he’ll listen to him, of course, but he doesn’t dismiss his opinion. “Why are you doing all this for me?”

“I'm not. I’m- I would be dead too.”

James stares at him. The dying sun casts a glow across his cheekbones, lighting him up like an angel. “Not that. Telling me about the beach. Giving me a cot and blankets. Giving me soup. Letting me into your bed.”

Regulus’s cheeks flush instantly. “That wasn’t- I- that was all you.”

James doesn’t look away. His head hurts. “Yeah, but you let me. I don’t even remember- I mean. I just woke up there.”

“I was asleep,” Regulus says, studying the carpet intently. “I didn't notice.”

“And telling me about the beach?”

“I told you. I’m a traitor. I’m trying to kill the Dark Lord. Helping you is in my best interest.”

“Mm.” James looks back out the window. “Okay.”

“Enemy of my enemy and all that,” Regulus says quickly.

“Alright.”

“Alright.”

They watch the sunset, neither moving.

James, as usual, breaks the silence. “What if I seduce your mum?”

“What?” Regulus nearly breaks his neck turning to look at him, eyes wide with horror.

James wrestles with a smile. “I don’t know. Maybe she’d let me out if I get in her knickers.”

Regulus shudders. “Don’t even joke about that.”

“Who says I’m joking?”

“Ugh,” Regulus says unhappily. 

“Maybe I should go for Orion then.”

“Please do not.”

“He’s got a sort of rich-imperial thing going on. I could make it work.”

“Stop.”

“I mean, it would take some convincing, but if it meant freeing the both of us…”

“Just don’t.”

“I bet he’d share my cot.”

“You won’t even share your cot.”

“Nah, I’d much rather share your bed.”

Regulus snaps his mouth shut, staring at him intently. “That was a mistake we will not be repeating tonight.”

“We?”

“You’re sleeping on the cot.”

“Come on, Reg,” James jokes, smiling and leaning in. “This night might be my last one alive, and you want me to spend it on a human-rights violating piece of fabric?”

At his words Regulus’s face falls and he bites his lip as he looks away. James’s own smile slips at his reaction. “Hey-”

“I won’t let you die, you know that, right?” Regulus says softly, still not looking at him.

James pauses. “There may be nothing you can do.”

“But I won’t- I won’t just let it happen.”

James watches him, letting those words sink into his bones and warm him from the inside. “I’ll fight it,” He says. “I’d rather die than let Voldemort see the Order’s- and your secrets.” 

“I know. I wish you wouldn’t.”

“This is what I’m talking about,” James says, crawling till he’s kneeling in front of Regulus so he can better look him in the eye. “That. Why do you do that? Why do you care about me?”

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

“James, we talked about this,” Regulus says, voice trembling, just a bit. 

“No, but this. I-” James flushes, but it may be his last night alive and anyway, Regulus deserves to know. His skin crawls with nerves. “Fuck it. I’ve sort of fancied you for the past few months. I know that’s- I know thats ridiculous- but-”

Regulus’s pupils dilate and he cuts him off. “You thought I was a Death Eater.”

“I know,” James whispers. “Isn’t that horrible?”

Regulus’s lips part and he sucks in a shaky breath. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I do, unfortunately. I’m not- I’m not telling you so you’ll do something about it, and I don’t expect anything, I just thought you should know.” 

Regulus shakes his head adamantly. “James, you’re doing this now? Also- no. You don’t… fancy me. You don’t know me.”

“Sure I do. And yes, now, because if we’re dead tomorrow I want you to know. Haven’t you picked up on all my flirting? Fancied is maybe a strong word, but something about you…” He hums to himself, trying to find the words. “You’re captivating.”

“You just like the taboo. You like being attracted to someone you can’t have. Isn’t that why you kept going after Evans, even once she said no?”

Another time, those words would sting. James brushes them off before they get a chance. “I got over Lily a long time ago. We’re just friends. And no, I liked her because she was beautiful and funny and so smart.”

A muscle in Regulus’s jaw clenches. He looks away, eyes angry. James sighs. “Listen. I don’t like you because it’s taboo. I like you because…”

“What?”

“I don’t know. I just do.”

“Exactly. James. Be serious for one minute. I thought we covered this.” He reaches for his arm, and James lets him. Regulus rolls up his sleeve to reveal the mark, and James stares, hating the sight but looking anyway. “It’s as I said,” Regulus mumbles, voice quiet. “You have no idea what you're talking about.”

James doesn’t like the look on his face. Hates it, in fact, and decides he needs it gone. He takes Regulus’s wrist gently, raising his arm and turning it left and right, examining the mark in the fading light. It’s dark and certain, marring his pale skin, but James doesn’t think it makes him ugly. Especially now, knowing he doesn’t mean it, James thinks it's more of a scar than a tattoo. Not a choice but instead a symbol imposed upon him, something he had to do, a mark of his commitment to the cause. Not the Dark Lord’s- the opposite, the rebellion, the fight. A necessary trial undertaken. Something survived. Regulus never should’ve had to take it, but it’s a part of him now, there’s no denying that. Which means, at least to James, it has to be beautiful. 

Slowly, so slowly, James lifts Regulus’s arm to his mouth and presses his lips against the black ink. 

---

Regulus can’t breathe, staring at the boy in front of him.

His heart hammers wildly in his chest, threatening to burst past his ribs. James has his forearm gently cradled by his hands, lips pressed against the grotesque mark sprawled across it. 

Now? Regulus screams in his head. You’re pulling out this terribly romantic and absolutely gut-wrenching gesture now? 

James pulls back, just slightly, and runs his thumb over the length of the mark. Regulus shivers despite himself, overwhelmed by the sudden onslaught of overwhelming emotion that’s currently pouring in from every angle. Half of him longs to rip his arm out of James’s grasp, to shove his sleeve down and continue treating it like a horrendous case of leprosy. The other half burns with the need to pull James closer, to kiss him with as much gentleness as he’s using on his arm, to prove that he too is something worth loving. 

But he doesn’t.

Because that would be fucking stupid.

And even if they’re both about to die tomorrow, James doesn’t want this for the same reasons he does. He wants the touch of skin, he wants someone warm, he wants to spend what he thinks is his last night distracted by another person. He doesn’t want Regulus . 

James lifts his head, stares at him, and Regulus forces himself to drag his gaze up to meet his. “What are you doing,” he murmurs, words catching.

“It’s just one night,” James whispers back, and they’re so fucking close Regulus can feel James’s words brush against his lips as warm puffs of air. “It’s just one night before the end of the world. What does it matter?”

“I’m not going to let you die tomorrow,” Regulus mumbles again. 

“I don’t know if that’s up to you.”

“You’re so stupid,” Regulus whispers, and then he’s choking and there are tears pressed against the back of his eyes and he tips forward, grabbing James’s shirt and pressing his forehead against his chest. Drops roll down his cheeks as he desperately tries to get himself under control, shoulders shaking. It’s embarrassing and childish but something inside him is beyond saving. “So bloody stupid,” he says again, and his voice tears and splits down the middle. “Why did you come to the beach?”

James goes still for a moment then closes his arms around Regulus’s back, pulling him in closer. “I had to, love. You know I never could’ve watched my friends fight without me.”

“Just this once. Just this once I wanted you to stop being a martyr.”

“I helped,” James whispers. “I helped people. I saved lives. I know I did. If I did it again, I’d make the same choice. Maybe I wouldn’t get caught, I’d hate to put you in danger, but…”

“I detest you,” Regulus says, and desperately ignores the way the words break into something embarrassingly akin to a sob. 

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

James pulls him back slowly, hands on his shoulders. He wipes his face with his sleeve, looking him over carefully. “It’s going to be fine. It’s going to work out.” 

“You don’t know that.” He sucks in a deep breath, holding the last shreds of his self control together. He wipes his eyes furiously, pressing the heels of his palms into them.

“Listen,” James says, pulling his hands back from his face. His touch is achingly familiar, and Regulus longs to lean into it. “We have a night, right? One night for sure. Probably more. Hopefully more. But for now, we have one night.”

Regulus shoves down another wave of tears to suck in a breath. “One night.” 

James stares at him for a long moment. “It’s just one,” he says again.

It’s stupid, it’s so stupid, everything about this, the fact that he went far enough to erase all the memories of their relationship and now they’re back where they started, the fact that everything he’s done has been pointless, the fact that every situation he’s gotten himself into has been avoidable.

Except, he thinks distantly, maybe this. Maybe the way James is looking at him, maybe the tug in Regulus’s chest, maybe this has always been inevitable.

Plus, they’re most likely both going to die tomorrow. 

And really, it is just one night.

It doesn’t have to mean anything, right?

---

James’s head is pounding, throbbing with pain that threatens to tip him over should he give in. It aches in a horribly familiar way, but burning and hurting like it never has before. 

Regulus is just watching him with those tear filled eyes, soft and wide and so vulnerable. 

James wants to shut off the lights and put a pillow over his head and wait till the pain passes, but he has a feeling that won't work this time. Regulus is right there, and so inviting, and James needs to be closer. 

He lifts a hand to Regulus’s cheek, running a thumb over his smooth skin, and before he can talk himself out of it, leans in.
Regulus lets out a small gasp and quickly lifts a hand to cover James’s mouth, eyes wide.

James feels his brows furrow as he looks up, confused. Because Regulus isn’t pushing him away, just sort of holding him there, pressing his palm against his lips. Regulus stares at him, chest rising and falling quickly, looking mildly surprised by his own actions. 

James tilts his head behind Regulus’s hand, a silent question. Regulus squeezes his eyes tight, gritting his teeth in frustration. Then he lets out a deep breath and sighs, nodding slowly.

James takes that and runs with it, pulling away from Reg’s hand and leaning in again, head lowered this time, one hand tilting Regulus’s chin up and pressing his lips against the smooth expanse of Regulus’s neck. 

Regulus gasps and the sound goes directly to his core, the last of James’s control slipping away. He moves closer, shuffling in, closing his arms around Regulus’s waist and pulling him forward and up until the other boy has no choice but to settle on his lap. Sorry, Sirius. Something inside James hums at the position and he makes a soft sound against Regulus’s skin, licking at the spot under his ear and grazing his teeth over it a moment later. Regulus’s hands tighten on his shoulders, and he shifts closer, pressing his chest against James’s and tilting his head back to give him better access. 

The ache in James's head is overwhelming, agonizing, consuming every inch of him. He’s dizzy and thinks he might be sick but doesn’t dare stop. The idea of not touching Regulus seems one hundred times worse than anything his own body can do to him. 

Yes , he thinks as he closes a hand around Regulus’s hip and pulls him in. Yes. This is right. This is so fucking right. 

Regulus groans against him and his hands tangle in James’s hair, tugging just slightly, and James makes an embarrassing noise before he can stop himself. He leans back and goes for Regulus’s mouth again, because he can’t help it, because he desperately wants to kiss him, but a sharp pull to his hair stops him and he blinks up at Regulus helplessly. 

Regulus gazes down at him through half-lidded eyes. “No kissing,” he murmurs. “Not on the mouth.”

“Why?” James all-but whines, squeezing Regulus’s hips. 

“Because,” Reg whispers, dropping his head to whisper against the skin of James’s cheek, so close to where he wants him but still so far , “That makes all this real.”

James ignores the sharp ache those words send through him in favor of putting his lips back on Regulus’s neck, just above his collarbone. He takes a hand and slides it up Regulus’s back, under his shirt, feeling the ridges of his spine under his palm. 

Regulus shivers and then does something fucking magical with his hips that has James gasping into his neck, and then he can’t take it anymore, looping both his arms around Regulus’s waist and lifting him entirely, standing shakily and maneuvering them onto the bed above them. 

He pushes Regulus down, crawling up him till he’s propped up over his head, staring down into his eyes.
Regulus’s lips part and he arches off the bed, closing his arms around James’s shoulders. “Please,” He breathes, and James pulls him closer, losing himself in the tangle of limbs and warm breath. He slides off his shirt, followed shortly by Regulus’s, running his hands up his shoulders and relishing in the heat stirring low in his gut. There are scars, he realizes, small and raised on the top of one of Regulus’s arms. He resolves to ask him about them later, when they’re done with all this and hopefully alive. 

His head spins and yet at the same time the pain recedes, and all he can think about is Regulus. Regulus’s hair, his face, his eyes, the feel of his fingers. It’s nothing like Fabian at that fancy gala. No, this isn’t something to get through but instead something to savor, to enjoy, to lose himself in. The thing that’s been haunting him for months recedes like a placated beast, and the gap in his chest, for the first time in ages, feels nearly full. He still doesn’t know exactly what he’s been looking for, but right now he feels like he’s so, so much closer to finding it. 

Then Regulus tilts his head back with a choking sound as James puts his hand to good use and suddenly he can’t think about anything at all. 

---

Regulus fucked up. 

Substantially. 

He lays on his side, staring at James’s face, utterly and entirely furious with himself.
How could he be so weak?

“What’s wrong?” James whispers, reaching out and brushing curls away from Regulus’s eyes. 

Regulus shifts away, avoiding his gaze. “I- we shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't have let you get this far.”

James frowns slightly. “Why?”

“It means that everything I’ve done,” Regulus murmurs. “Everything I’ve done has been pointless, because here you are anyway.”

“What have you done?”

“Horrible, meaningless things.” 

James sighs and Regulus can feel the air hit his face, soft and warm. “It is kind of ridiculous that we barely knew each other three days ago and now we’re like this.”

“...Right.”

James rolls on his back, resting a hand on his chest and staring at the ceiling. “Though, it doesn’t really feel like that, does it?”

“What-”

“I mean- I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it. Nevermind.” 

Regulus nods to himself, burrowing further under the blanket. It’s warm in here. Warm and safe and he doesn’t have to think about tomorrow or the boy in his bed or whatever he just did.

Until James joins him a moment later, arms circling around him and pulling him into a warm chest. Regulus allows himself three seconds of comfort before he pushes back slowly. “James.” 

“Please,” James whispers. “It’s just one night.” 

So Regulus allows himself to be pulled back in, closing his eyes and focusing on the rhythm of James’s heartbeat. Maybe, he thinks as he drifts, maybe he can trick himself into thinking that James means all this. It’ll be gone by morning. Maybe just for a night, it can be real. 

---

Regulus wakes to the sound of footsteps on the stairs. More specifically, the loud creak of the second to top one followed by a muttered curse. 

Before he can think about it Regulus kicks James in the stomach, shoving him hard and sending him tumbling off the bed onto the cot below it. James yelps but slaps a hand over his mouth when Regulus shushes him aggressively. 

The footsteps get closer and Regulus sits up, reaching for his wand on the bedside table. His parents never check on him in the middle of the night, and everyone else knows to leave him alone. Kneeling on top of the covers Regulus shakes the last of sleep from his head and moves towards the door. James, still on the cot, looks between the door and Regulus with wide eyes, sliding on his glasses.

Then the footsteps pause and the door creaks open carefully. Regulus stares. There’s no one there. He raises his wand slowly. 

“Hello?” James whispers. Regulus glares at him. 

Then the air shimmers and parts, and a head appears in the doorway. Sirius’s head. The rest of his body remains invisible, obviously hidden by the cloak. 

Regulus lets out a harsh breath and sits back on the bed, dropping his wand. “ Shit , Sirius,” he mutters. 

James scrambles to his feet and hugs Sirius tightly, throwing his arms around his shoulders. Sirius drops the rest of the cloak and hugs him back, burying his face in James's neck. “We thought you were dead,” he gasps.

James shakes his head. “No, I’m fine, see? You came for me! My knight in shining armor!” 

Regulus stands, stepping around them to shut the door quietly. He turns back to his brother, insides fluttering with a mix of relief and dread. “You showed up.”

Sirius sends him a look, still wrapped around James. “Of course I did.”

“Took you long enough.” 

“I literally came the same night you told us about James.” 

“Couldn't have come the same day?”

“No, because there would’ve been people awake and wandering around, idiot.” 

Sirius steps back, glancing around. “Wow. You really haven’t changed anything.”

Regulus crosses his arms, suddenly cold. “It’s only been a year. Long enough for you to forget about the second step, I guess.” 

Sirius shrugs and turns his attention back to James, ruffling his hair. “Are you alright? Did you get hurt?”

“No,” James says reassuringly. “No, I’m fine.” 

“How the fuck did you get in here, Sirius?”

Sirius turns to him, grinning. “That’s the best part. Those fuckers forgot to take me off the wards.”

“What?”

“I know! They burned me off the family tree but couldn’t manage to separate me from the magic surrounding the house. Well, of course they added some, and I had to break through those, but the innermost layer I just popped on through.”

“You broke through some of the wards?” Regulus asks, incredulous. 

“Yep. Took some time. Also took Moody’s expertise, but we figured it out. And it was significantly easier since my magic is aligned with the magic of the family.”

“You do realize that means that our parents probably felt that.”

“They’ll feel something maybe, but it’ll take them a while.” Sirius pauses, staring at them. “Why are you both naked?”

James makes a small sound and Regulus coughs. “We’re not naked.”

“Sorry, why are you only wearing pants?”

“This is how I like to sleep,” James tries. 

“No it’s not.” 

“Sirius,” Regulus snaps. “Focus. James, put on your trousers.” James immediately complies as Regulus does the same.

“Where’s Kreature?” Sirius asks, looking around.

“The Dark Lord took him.” Regulus bites his lip. “I’m a bit worried about that, actually.”

Sirius’s eyes widen. “Kreature’s gone?”

“Temporarily.” 

“Shit, that was like half of my plan.”

Regulus stares at him. “You didn’t think we would’ve thought of that?”

“I don’t know. You’re notoriously thick.”

“Hey!”

“Sorry Prongs, not you.”

“Just… Just take James out the front door. Get him back through the wards.”

“They’ll be notified since he isn’t keyed in,” Sirius says immediately.

Regulus nods. “But you’re already their enemy. It makes sense if you break him out. As long as it’s not me.”

“What if they look in your head?”

“I know Occlumency. I’ll be fine.”

“Shit. Fine. Let’s go.”

“But-” James looks to Regulus. “My wand.”

Regulus hands it to him, watching in fascination when James slips it into his sock.

Regulus steps forward. “Wait. Put on the cloak.”

James and Sirius exchange a glance and then Sirius swings the cloak over their heads, rendering them invisible instantly. “Good. Come on. And mind the second step this time.”

They make their way through the hall and down the stairs, Regulus leading the way. The house stays silent, save the soft tick of the clock. His heart pounds in his chest, nerves sending every inch of him tingling.

They reach the front door. Regulus turns around. “As soon as you get out, disapparate. Take him back to Godric's Hollow, get him inside the wards. I’ll reach out if something else comes up.”

The air shimmers and the cloak slips off their shoulders. James stares at him. “Reg-”

Regulus refuses to look at him. “Go. Now. While you still can.” 

Sirius clears his throat softly, stepping forward, and Regulus’s gaze snaps to his. “Regulus,” He says, voice soft and a little shaky. “I didn’t ask when I should’ve. I didn’t- so I’m asking now. Come with me. Come to the Potters. Let's escape together.”

Shock ripples through him and he takes a step back. Regulus sucks in a breath, staring at his brother. There’s a weird sort of warmth growing in his chest, spreading through him limb from limb. The tips of his fingers tingle. Sirius has to know it’s impossible. He has to know Regulus will refuse. But he’s asking anyway. He’s asking just to ask. 

“I can’t,” Regulus forces himself to say, but tries to make it sound at least a little kind. 

Sirius nods, and then reaches for the door.

The knob turns before he touches it. 

Regulus’s eyes widen and he yanks Sirius back just as it swings forward, opened from the outside. And there, on the steps of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, stands Peter Pettigrew, wet and wide-eyed in the rain. 

For a minute, no one speaks.

And then James makes a gut-punched noise.

Sirius, however, doesn’t know what James and Regulus do, so he takes a confused step forward. “Wormtail? What are we doing here? I thought- I thought we decided it was only me going in.”

Peter opens his mouth and then shuts it. Regulus growls. “Get in or stay out.” Peter finally stumbles through the door and Regulus reaches to shut it behind him. “Can I convince you to go right now? Like immediately?” He hisses to Sirius and James. Both shake their heads slowly. “Thought so.”

Peter’s eyes flick to Regulus, who raises his wand. “Do not.”

“Peter?” Sirius asks again. “What-”

“I take it you haven’t talked to Pettigrew about the depth of his allegiance.” Regulus says dryly.

“What are you saying?” Sirius takes a few steps. “Peter, what is he saying?”

Pettigrew doesn’t respond, so Regulus does. “He’s a traitor, Sirius.”

Sirius laughs, but it’s a little forced. “No, It’s Peter. He-”

“Sirius,” James says softly. “How did he get through the wards?”

For a minute, time stands still. 

“That’s not- I wouldn’t-” Finally Peter speaks up, voice wavering.

“Shut up,” Regulus hisses.

“No,” Sirius says softly. “No.”

James takes his shoulder, pulling him back, and Sirius stumbles a bit but goes anyway. “How could you?” James spits. “We trusted you. We all trusted you!”

“You didn’t trust me,” Peter hisses back. “Not enough to tell me things. Not enough to talk to me.”

“So- so you-” But both Sirius and James seem too far in disbelief and anger to form words. Given the nature of the situation, Regulus guesses this is something they’ll have to process another time. 

Peter whirls on Regulus. “You were helping him escape.”

“Yes, well, as I said, there are two traitors here.” 

“The Dark Lord-”

“Don’t fucking talk to me about loyalty. I’ll-” He raises his wand and Peter scampers back, reaching into his pocket. 

When he casts a spell, it’s not directed at Regulus. Instead, behind him, James falls to his knees. Regulus whirls around, shocked, as James’s eyes go wide.

“What-”

“It’s just-” Peter swallows, casting another spell that doesn’t seem to do anything. “It’s just a temporary paralyzer. James, I don’t want to hurt you, I-”

“You fucking bastard,” Sirius hisses, and Regulus disarms Peter before he can curse him too.

Regulus stoops down to grab Peter's wand and ignores the furious beating of his heart. “Sirius- take him and go before-”

“It’s too late,” Peter says from behind him. “Sirius, get out now. But James- the Dark Lord is expecting James.”

Regulus whirls on him. “What do you mean it’s too late?”

There are tears in Peter’s eyes, Regulus realizes. Shining and glistening with the light of the moon through the window. “Can’t you feel it?” he whispers, and Regulus’s arm explodes into pain.

He curls over, tucking it to his stomach and hissing through his teeth. When he yanks his sleeve up the mark turns and boils on his skin, snake slithering through the mouth of the skull. “Reg,” Sirius says, reaching out towards him, but the sense of overwhelming horror descending on Regulus blocks out everything else. 

“You bitch,” he hisses at Peter. “You called him here?”

“I don’t even have a mark,” Peter whispers. “But he taught me the spell.”

“What’s going on?” Sirius asks, and when Regulus looks at him he finds him kneeling by James, still on his knees on the floor. 

Regulus groans through another wave of pain. “Sirius- you have to-”

“He’ll be here any second,” Peter says, sounding scared yet determined. 

“Silencio,” Regulus hisses, watching as Peter’s mouth moves but no sound comes out. “Shut up. Shit. This is not good. This is very, very bad. Just- shit.” 

He turns back around. “Sirius, wait till someone else sees you and then put the cloak on, stand in the corner, and whatever happens, don’t make a sound. If you leave now James will have no chance, and I need you to be identified first.”

Sirius, eyes wide, nods and steps back. Regulus can see him shaking. Regulus kneels next to James, watching his lashes flutter, pupils dilated. “Hey,” He whispers, so softly no one else can hear him. “I told you, right? I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I promise you I’ll figure this out.” Above him, the stairs creak as someone comes down. “I’ve got you,” he whispers, pressing his hand against James’s arm gently, just once. 

He stands and steps back, looking to Peter. “I hope you burn for this,” he hisses, and means it. Then light floods the room and he straightens instinctively, turning towards the stairs.

His cousin, followed shortly by both parents, stands blinking at the scene in front of them. Narcissa’s eyes flick from Sirius to Regulus to James on the ground and Peter against the wall. As soon as they see Sirius he vanishes beneath the cloak. Orion makes an angry sort of sound, stumbling forward but obviously confused. The door swings open and then shut and Orion curses lowly.

“Sirius?” Walburga asks, taking a step forward. “Regulus? Explain this. Now .” 

Regulus sucks in a breath and reigns everything in. “I caught Sirius trying to sneak Potter out. He somehow managed to get through the wards, I think because his magic is still connected to this house. Peter showed up just on time and we apprehended Potter and called the Dark Lord.”

“I figured that much out,” Narcissa says, raising her sleeve to show her arm. “I imagine he’ll be here any minute.”

Regulus forces himself to stay calm, nodding. His father steps forward. “You didn’t think to apprehend Sirius?”

“No, I-”

His father moves further into the room, looking around. “Where did he go? Did he- what-”

“I have no idea,” Regulus says.

“You let him escape. Weak.”

Lucius comes down the stairs after his wife, and Regulus curses the fact that Grimmauld Place has become a boarding house for Death Eaters. “What’s going on? Why are we being called?”

“The Potter boy was caught attempting to escape with Sirius, who vanished out the door.” 

“Fuck.”

Regulus moves to stand behind James, watching his shoulders tremble slightly. He desperately hopes the spell wears off soon, and hopes further that James knows enough to not let it show. “Do-” 

And then the door opens again, and this time everyone knows who to expect. It’s as if the room grows colder instantly. The Dark Lord, tall and imposing, shoves through. His cloaks drip with rain, Bellatrix and her husband close on his heels. Kreature, battered and bruised, follows limping after them. Regulus’s stomach drops at the sight of the cuts covering his small body.

Voldemort steps into the middle of the room, looking around slowly. Below him, James goes stiff. The Dark Lord waves a cool hand and the pain in Regulus’s forearm dissipates instantly. “That’s enough,” he rasps, and everyone in the room goes completely silent. 

Bellatrix and Rodolphus fall behind him, spreading out across the room. Bella’s eyes gleam and Regulus forces himself to look away.
Kreature makes a weak noise and falls to the ground. Everyone ignores him. 

“Explain.” The Dark Lord rasps, eyes only for Regulus.

“My Lord.” Regulus nods. “I caught my brother breaking into the wards and attempting to free Potter. As I’m sure my cousin told you, we captured him after the battle on the beach.”

“Sirius?” Voldemort asks cooly. “Did he escape?”

“Yes, my Lord.”

Voldemort looks up, fixing his gaze on Walburga and Orion. “You didn’t think to block him from the wards?”

“I assumed that was automatic.” Orion says hesitantly.

“Well.” The Dark Lord tilts his head at James on the ground. “I appreciate you saving him for me.”

A shudder goes through Regulus at the words. “Of course.” 

“Why isn’t he moving or speaking?”

Regulus’s eyes find Peter, by the looks of it currently trying to fade into the back wall, and clears his throat. “I er- I paralyzed him, my Lord. In order to halt his escape.”

“I see.” Voldemort looks James over slowly, taking his time. “Interesting.”

“My Lord,” Bellatrix says, stepping out from behind him. “Might I suggest we loosen him up first?”

Voldemort says nothing and Bellatrix tries again. “Last time he was very receptive to a crucio.” 

“I think not,” Voldemort says thoughtfully. “After we get what we can from his head, you can have free reign, Bella.” 

She nods, placated, and the Dark Lord turns back to James. Regulus glances down, doing his best not to react when he sees James’s hand twitch and then oh so slowly reach towards his sock, hidden from Voldemort by the angle he’s positioned his body. 

“Should we wait till the paralysis wears off?” Regulus asks carefully. “Perhaps his mind will be-” 

“No, I think now is a good time,” Voldemort murmurs, moving forward. Regulus stiffens, reaching into his pocket and closing his hand around his wand. He can’t fight everyone in this room. There’s no possible way. 

But he will.

“Did you know it was one of our own that poisoned your father?” Voldemort asks, speaking directly to James. “I’ll admit, he lasted longer than we thought he would, but by the time your mother goes I imagine the point will be made.”

Regulus sees James stiffen and watches as his fingers close around his wand. Don’t be stupid, Regulus begs inwardly. Please, please, do not be a brash Gryffindor right now.

“Shall we see what you know?” Voldemort whispers, raising his wand.

And then there’s a flurry of motion and then James has his own wand out, pressed to his temple, and Regulus realizes what he’s about to do a second too late. “No-” 

“Obliviate.”

James slumps forward, bracing himself on all fours.

For a minute, no one in the room moves. And then Voldemort curses, straightening and stepping back. His eyes raise slowly to Regulus’s. “You let him have his wand?”

“No- no my Lord, of course not,” Regulus stammers, backing up. “He must’ve stolen it back while I was asleep.”

“He wasn’t restrained?”

“Of course he was. But when Sirius broke in he freed him.” Regulus looks back down at James. His chocolate eyes have gone all fuzzy, and the worst part is this isn’t the first time Regulus has seen that look on his face. Voldemort raises his wand again. Shit. Shit shit shit-

“Legilimens.” 

---

James can’t remember anything.

Well, obviously. That was the point.

At least he thinks that was the point.

Anything may be a stretch- he knows who he is, he knows where he is- he just has no idea why. He knows he should be somewhere else. He knows he’s in danger. He knows there’s something he’s not supposed to know. 

He knows Regulus.

No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know anyone except himself. 

Some moments he thinks he has something, a memory, a face, but then it’s gone again. Why did he do this to himself? 

And then suddenly he knows that there’s someone else in his mind, poking around and prodding at all his little corners. It’s a horrible feeling, violating and itchy and something James needs gone right now. 

They’re looking for something, that much is obvious, but James genuinely has nothing to offer. He thinks distantly that that’s a good thing, and a small thrill of victory runs down his spine.

Then the horrible presence is gone and Voldmort moves back, evidently unhappy. He lowers his wand and James gags, shivering.

“Nothing. The idiot- I can’t get anything from him. Narcissa, this is your specialty. You try.”

“My Lord, some obviated minds can’t be-”

“His is fresh. And don’t think I haven’t done my reading- I know minds are easier to recover when it’s only a partial wipe.”

Then the woman is stepping forward, and the boy- Regulus- walks around till he’s facing him. He looks scared. Really scared. Narcissa, assumedly, raises her wand, and James grits his teeth as he prepares for another invasion. 

She’s in his head in a second, but she doesn’t take the same approach Voldemort did. Instead she follows the thread of things James does know, and that’s a lot more terrifying. She traces the lines of memories down, connecting the dots until she finds the point where they come to a stop. And then… 

And then she pushes. 

Her magic turns sharp, pressing, like a knife put to the edges of his mind. He flinches back, distantly aware of the drag of his knees on the carpet. She presses harder, her essence white hot and blinding, and James feels the layer of distortion he cast over himself start to split. No no no no-

The knife of her magic cuts through him, cutting harder and harder, and soon enough memories start to flood through. He cries out in agony, fingers digging into the threads of the rug beneath him. The Order, Dumbeldore, Sirius, Regulus-

Her magic comes to a halting stop. 

Narcissa’s eyes widen, mouth parting slightly. He watches her gaze flick towards her cousin next to her.

Fuck.

Now memories of Regulus are pouring forth. Him telling James about the beach, rescuing James from the claws of Bellatrix and keeping him safe, explaining the nature of his allegiance.

Narcissa makes a soft sound and James watches Regulus’s face go white as a sheet. The cousins stare at each other, and every last bit of hope inside James crumbles to dust.

Then she’s looking back at him and her magic shifts, changing, following the train of thought. He groans and tips his head forward in pain. More paths. More barriers. Maybe he isn’t very good at memory charms if they’re this easily broken. She has access to anything she wants- and all James can do is sit there and let her in. 

She explores, looking through distant thoughts and whatever tucked away secrets James has. Then she goes back to Regulus, his betrayal, his loyalty, and follows that path as far as she can. 

That's when something interesting happens. 

He feels her hit another wall. A wall he didn’t even know was there. It’s solid yet undefinable- halting all further progress. 

But as soon as her magic touches that lack of memory- that blank space- James’s insides erupt into fire. That ache, that foreign and horrendous feeling that’s been infesting him for months, comes back with a vengeance, and it’s suddenly the worst it’s ever been. James can’t breathe through the pain, through the confusion, and it’s all he can do to keep Walburga’s terrible soup down. 

Narcissa’s eyes widen before narrowing in on him, and she takes a step closer. 

She presses harder against that horrible spot, and James cries out before he can stop himself. Her magic narrows and focuses, preparing to strike, and James doesn't think he’ll ever be ready.

But-

But. 

But somewhere, past the pain and confusion and agony, he knows this is it. 

He knows this is what he’s been missing. 

He knows this blank space in his head is the same as the one in his chest. 

And it hurts, it does, it hurts like nothing he’s ever felt before and yet- 

And yet he needs to know. 

He needs this to end, one way or another. 

So when she presses forward, ripping through a barrier that feels like it’s the skin around his ribs, around his heart, around his skull, he lets her.

And-

---

“Leave.” 

“Somehow that’s how you’ve started every one of our little interactions.”

“Wonder why. You’d think you’d get the hint.”

“You don’t own this broom closet.”

“What did you just say?”

“I mean- I’m pretty sure that all broom closets in the school are open to student use. All students. And I’m a student, last time I checked, so-”

“Get out.”

---

“Why are you here?”

“Maybe I wanted to practice. Maybe I wanted to talk to you.” 

“Potter, it’s cold out. And past curfew.”

“I know. Your cheek- this morning at breakfast… it, like, flickered. I thought you couldn’t heal it. Did you glamour it?”

“Something like that.” 

---

“I… you can’t have come genuinely thinking I could make you feel better. I mean…me?”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. I do have an actual reason.” 

“What’s that?”

“I need you to find a cure for Dragon Pox.”

---

“Lucky for you, I brought us some bread pudding.”

“... Bread pudding? Like from dinner?”

“I went to the kitchens. The house elves helped me wrap it up.”

“Potter, this is not a picnic.”

“It’ll make you feel better. Besides, we need nutrition for healthy functioning brains.”

“I don’t think your brain can function. Ever.”

“Just eat.”

---

“You can’t save everyone, Potter.” 

“Ok.” 

“Ok?”

“I won’t try to save you.”

“...Ok.”

---

“You mean- he’s recovering?”

 “He’s something .” 

“It’s working?”

“It’s working.” 

“Oh.”

---

“We can’t tell anyone, can’t talk to each other in the hall, or look at each other during meals. This is all we get, James. We get the come and go room and locked classrooms, secret meetings where nobody can find us. That’s all we have.”

“It’s not fair.”

“It’s all we get.”

“That’s not true.”

“...What?”

“We get this. You get me. Every part of me.”

---

“You’re such a bad idea, Potter.”

“But?”

“But.”

---

“Regulus, I- thank you.”

“Hm? For what?”

“No one’s ever- I mean. No one’s ever wanted me before.” 

“...That’s because they’re all fucking idiots.”

---

“I… I don’t think I’m good, James.”

“You are.”

“I’m not, though. Sometimes- sometimes I feel like the devil’s greatest ally. Sometimes I think he’s trying to find me, to drag me back down where I belong.”

“If the devil is after you, he’ll want me just as much.”

“Why’s that?”

“I love you.”

“I suppose there’s no greater sin.”

“For you I would burn, Regulus Black.”

---

"Regulus-"

"I figured- I figured I was Icarus, in the story. I thought I was going to fall because I couldn’t get out of this labyrinth. But you- risking it all for me- I can’t give you wings, James. I can’t even let you build them yourself. Watching them melt would destroy me.”

“You’re the love of my life.” 

“Reg, wai-”

"Obliviate."

---

Slowly, so slowly, James drags his gaze up to meet Regulus's.

Their eyes lock.

And James remembers.