Change (In The House Of Flies)
Regulus had noticed Sirius's absence at meals, originally he thought nothing of it, his brother was older than him and could take care of himself. However, when Sirus was absent from every meal for a month straight, Regulus became worried about his brother. He began to keep a close eye on Sirius, but there was nothing to see, he looked just like he did before. Either, he was good at charms, or there was nothing wrong at all and Regulus had no reason to worry. Sirius noticed him following not long after Regulus had concluded that something wasn't right with his brother.
Sirius was fed up with his brothers meddling in his business, so pulled him aside in the library when he had a chance.
“Reggie, could you stop following me around, I'm begging to think that you are reporting my every move to Mother.”
“Should I be?”
“She wouldn't care.”
“The Potters would, what's stopping me from writing them and telling them of your bad eating habits.”
“I eat,”
“Do you, I haven't seen you at a single meal for over a month.”
“I go to the kitchens to eat, it's quiet and I can finish my work while I'm there.”
“What about your group of friends, you haven't pulled a single prank, that is nothing like you, with or without your stupid companions.”
“Haven't felt like it, what do you want me to say?”
“To tell me the truth! You are lying right to my face and I know it.”
“Why do you care, why do you care at all?”
“Because you, my brother, and I can't stand to see you like this Sirius, I want to know, I miss you.”
“I'm fine Reggie, I'm fine,”
“How long will you let this go on?”
“Until I graduate probably, there is nothing left here for me Reggie.”
“What about me?”
“You will move on to greater things.”
“But I need you too, don't you get it.”
“I'll survive. So will you.”
“You are going to be alone for two more years?”
“I will figure it out.”
“Will you, or will you be dead before you turn 17, because right now, that seems very likely.”
“Regulus, this is none of your business, you may be my blood, but I don't need a brother,” He pauses, Regulus stares at Sirius with a sad look on his face. “Just leave me alone.” Sirius grabs his bag and walks out of the library, leaving Regulus to be an only child all over again. The rest of the year before Christmas break went by very quickly, and Sirius had to decide on where he should go over the holiday break.
Hogwarts was lonely and cold over the holidays, most people went home, leaving only a couple of kids in each house at Hogwarts for the holidays. Months ago, all of the Marauders decided that they would be staying at Hogwarts, the Potters were taking a long holiday to celebrate their 20th anniversary over break, and James had decided to allow his parents to be alone, Peter was staying because James was, and Remus hated going home when a full moon fell over break, so he stays most holidays. Sirius never wants to go home over break, however this time he would rather face his mother, rather than face the Marauders again. When the day finally came for him to finalize his choice, Sirius knew he had to stay, he just had to, he couldn't bear going back to that house, even if the possibility of running into his old friends was high, he would rather not see his parents until the summer holidays.
Sirius went to McGonagall's office to submit the form allowing him to stay at Hogwarts, all it needed was the head of house signature.
“Good afternoon Mr. Black, do you have a form for me?” She held out her hand to receive the piece of parchment.
“Yes Ma’am,”
“There is one thing I would like to add Sirius, it has come to our attention, that you are getting food directly from the kitchen, and you are not spending your nights inside of your dorm room. This could be a cause for detention, possibly a suspension, you, along with all other students Mr. Black, are required, without exception to sleep in their dormitories, some exceptions can be made however if you feel unsafe or unwanted inside of your dormitory.” McGonaglle was stern but forgiving, she was tender, her words laced with understanding.
“I do not feel unsafe professor.”
“Unwanted?” Sirius stares into her eyes but says nothing, “I understand that after what has happened you and your friends are no longer speaking with you, however, I want to encourage you to understand that this is no excuse to sleep in a different part of the castle Sirius. If I hear any rumors of you not staying in your dorm again, I will be forced to find an action of punishment, and on top of the detentions you already have, that would be very unfavorable for both of us Mr. Black. I encourage you to gather your things and bring them back up to your dormitories immediately.”
“Who told you, professor?”
“The house elves, say they witnessed you walking into a strange room on the 7th floor, while I encourage you to explore this room, it is not your dorm and as your head of house I must insist that you stay in your dorm, no matter how wonderful your Room of Requirement may be.”
“Yes ma’am, I understand.” Sirius was confused, angry, and scared. To most people, this would have been a so what moment, that sucks but you will be fine. However, to Sirius, this used to be his family, the people who were his only family. Sirius knew that this was not going to be easy, so he decided to make it take way longer than needed. Instead of heading straight to his room, he took the long way to the seventh-floor corridor, instead of packing, he took an hour-long nap, and by the time he finally gets the courage to walk into the Gryffindor common room, he feels like a first year all over again, the nervousness was almost crippling, and he was not ready to face it all alone, just like he did when he was twelve.
The dorm room was empty, and Sirius thanked whatever god there was for the small semblance of peace that he was given. He unpacked his things into the dresser, he put his toothbrush into the bathroom, and for a moment he felt like the world was whole again, at least until the boys came back, he could pretend that everything was fine. Sirius decided to finish his homework, even if the readings weren't due until after break, there was no point in letting them sit until the last minute.
To be perfectly honest with you, James Potter had not thought about Sirius Black for a while now, he honestly had moved along from everything, he didn't need Sirius anymore. So when he walked into the dorm, expecting the room to be untouched, seeing Sirius sitting at his desk, reading, James almost said something to him. Something that normally would have come naturally, but James didn't recognize this boy, it was like he was twelve all over again, staring at this boy he didn't know, a boy that he was scared of. James didn't stick around for long, he stared for a minute turned right around, and walked down to the common room.
“Remus,” James sits next to the boy who had his nose in a book, “Remus, he’s up there.”
“Who?” Remus asked the question, even though he knew exactly who he was talking about.
“Sirius”
“I mean, it is still his dorm.”
“I know, I just wanted you to know, so that when you go up there it isn't a shock I guess.”
Sirius was shocked when James walked out without a word, it's not like he said anything either, but the way he looked almost disappointed, made Sirius think he should have just taken the detentions and went with it. When James closed the door behind him, Sirius immediately got up and closed himself inside his four-poster bed, he decided that this was a better time than ever to catch up on some sleep, and he stared at the curtains for hours. He fell asleep hoping that when he woke up, all three of the boys would miraculously have left on the train home and that he would wake up alone.
But Sirius Black didn't wake up alone, he woke up to the noise of the four boys laughing and talking, this was two hours after the train had left, and Sirius knew that this was going to be one lonely Christmas. Luckily, he was able to get some much-needed time outside, usually, he would never fly when it was this cold out, but McGonnagle had permitted him to go out flying again. He wasn't super overjoyed at first, but when he was up in the air, he felt free, he missed being free. This is how Sirius spent most of his free time. The break went by faster than he would have liked, and it was finally Christmas, and he had no gifts this year, not one. This wasn't his first Christmas with no gifts, but it hurt to think even Reg didn't get him anything. Sirius sent his gifts to Reg last night, he even got Regulus’s friends a small gift from Honydukes. He ordered them a while ago and kept in mind what they might like, Sirius didn't know them at all, but he wanted to be kind, maybe he could try to be more kind.
When Regulus saw the gift from Sirius under the tree, with a note that said, TO REGGIE
FROM YOUR FAVORITE BROTHER SIRIUS <3. He cried. Then when he saw small packages for each of his friends, he smiled. The slitherns thought maybe it was a prank, that they would all turn green, or worse red and gold, but none of them cared, if it were a prank the whole school would be way less on edge. So when they all bit into their candies and realized that it was just really good candy from Honydukes, they decided that there was something seriously wrong with Sirius Black.
Regulus didn't want to open his gift in front of his friends, but they all were way too curious to let it go. When he opened up the package to find a picture, one that he and Sirius had taken on the train in his first year, he remembered not knowing who to sit by, so he sat by Sirius, even if his parents were too happy with his brother, he always would take his side, along with the picture was a muggle book called The Edge Of The World by Shel Silverstein, he loved this book when he was a kid, he loved all of the silly drawings and the poems, him and Sirius used to talk about it for hours, they would laugh at the silly alligator getting his teeth cleaned, or the girl who sat on the edge of the world, and the dog who was to close to falling. He had no idea where they had gotten that book from, but when their parents found it, they burnt it in the fireplace and left them without dinner. Sure they knew better, and that their parents wouldn't like this muggle fantasy, but they were so in love. Inside to book Sirius wrote an apology, for what he had said, and signed his name at the bottom. Regulus cried for a second time that day, and for the first time, he cried in front of his friends.