Getting on with it
The rest of his free period wasn’t too bad. Sirius and James wandered around the ground floor, looking for Peeves to antagonise or some unsuspecting first years to practise their levitating charms on. Other than having to concentrate at times to stifle winces and gasps from sudden shocks of pain, Sirius thought he hid his predicament quite well.
Before too long, the free period ended and it was time for James and Sirius to meet up with Peter and Remus and head for the sixth and seventh floors. As they all climbed the stairs together, Remus, James and Peter making light conversation, Sirius couldn’t help but let his mind wander. The group had reached the top of the staircase, but with Sirius not concentrating he didn’t notice and tripped on the top step, consequently grabbing onto Remus’ robes to stop himself from falling, and causing a stab of pain to travel up from his knee.
“Woah, there Pads! Careful where you’re walking” Remus exclaimed, grabbing onto Sirius’ elbows to stop him from falling in a pile on the floor.
“Sorry, Sorry Moony, wasn’t looking where I was going. In a world of my own!” Sirius replied, standing back up and brushing himself off. He tried to cover the pain in his knees with a friendly smile.
“Yeah no kidding, you’ll do yourself an injury, mate!” Remus teased.
“Ha ha yeah thanks Rem” Sirius responded in kind.
In all of the kerfuffle, Sirius didn’t notice the look of concern James and Remus shared, both having noticed Sirius’ increased clumsiness and zoning out in the past few weeks since getting back from the Christmas holidays.
Sirius barely managed to hide the grimace from the shooting pains flying up his leg for the rest of his and Remus’ trip to the sixth floor for their Ancient Runes class. They said goodbye to the other two boys, who continued to the seventh floor, and made their way into the classroom.
“Are you sure you’re alright Pads? You took quite the tumble back there?” Remus asked as the pair sat down in their adjacent seats.
“Yeah, Yeah moons don’t worry about me, I’m good at bouncing back” Sirius could feel his cheeks growing hot and red as he scrambled to hide his embarrassment.
“You’ve been more clumsy recently, what’s that about?” Remus asked, disguising his worry with teasing curiosity.
“Alright mate shush, I only tripped the other day because Wormtail didn’t tie his laces properly, and the time before that was Fab’s fault, I swear he leaves his bag right in the middle of the common room on purpose!” Sirius replied, defending himself.
“Yeah yeah definitely” Remus’ Welsh lilt was dripping with sarcasm
Before Sirius could reply the class fell silent as the professor walked in already monologuing about whatever they were supposed to have read up on over the weekend.
Other than the few furtive glances Sirius made towards Remus, and the concerned glances Remus sent towards Sirius, nothing particularly exciting happened for the rest of the lesson. Unless you count the professor's twenty minute long rant about misclassification of symbols in academia, Sirius was able to somewhat relax.
As soon as the Professor had concluded her lesson, students began to file out of the classroom, Sirius and Remus with them. The skull splitting pain in Sirius’ head had thankfully abated to a dull ache, and the intense shooting pains in the rest of his joints had, by this point in the day, been soothed to a low level soreness that Sirius could ignore with a little effort.
“How’s your essay going Pads?” Remus enquired as the pair walked down towards the great hall for lunch.
“The Runes one? I tried to start it for ages during my free period earlier but I didn’t get a word down, You?” Sirius replied, hoping Remus might be able to help him out of his writer’s block.
“I’m not much better, I’ve got like two paragraphs but I don’t really know where it’s going” Remus responded before adding, “How’s your knee, I saw you rubbing it in class, did you hurt it when you tripped earlier?”
“Oh, yeah, I must have jarred it on the stairs, it’s ok, just a bit sore.” Sirius replied, hiding the truth, he actually spent most of the Runes lesson trying to massage out the intense throbbing in his right knee that was sending agony down his shin.
“Are you sure it's just that, I saw you had a bit of a limp before you tripped, did something happen at quidditch practice or something? I can give you some of the salve Marlene gave me for near the full moons?” Remus wouldn’t back down as easily as James did earlier.
“Oh, did I? I didn’t notice, maybe I had something in my shoe, I don’t know. Thanks Rem, but I’m okay, don’t worry about me.” Sirius smiled up at Remus. As he looked he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful his hazel eyes looked peeking out from under his overgrown Auburn curls. Shaking off that thought, Sirius refocused on changing the subject. “How are you doing since the moon in the holidays? Bet you missed us!” he said with a laugh.
“Oh yeah definitely, it’s so much better with the animals there, it’s like the wolf is lonely without them, and ends up taking it out on me, got a few new scars. It wasn’t too bad this time, but it definitely helps, especially with the recovery after, I ended up spending almost a week in bed after this one.” Remus replied, opening up to Sirius.
Remus’ mention of his injuries brought a painful memory to the forefront of Sirius’ mind. The image of Walburga stood over his body, lying on the dining room floor, blood running down his arm and between his fingers, unable to move, unable to escape his mother’s wrath. All he had done was mention Gryffindor’s end of term quidditch win over Slytherin, and now he was slowly losing consciousness beneath his mother’s gaze.
“Helloo, Sirius? Are you with me?” Remus called, snapping Sirius out of his thoughts. “You away with the fairies? Careful or you’ll properly injure yourself this time.” Remus playfully remarked, not knowing how close to the truth he actually was.
“Sorry, sorry, I was just thinking about what’s for lunch. Come on slow-poke” Sirius managed to pull himself out of his spiral and began to take the steps two at a time. Maybe he’d regret that choice when his hips ached like nobody’s business later on, but that’s a problem for future Sirius.
James and Peter were already sitting at the table in the great hall with Marlene, Dorcas and Lily when Remus and Sirius reached them, taking their seats next to their friends.
"Alright boys, what took you so long? Stopped for a quick snog in a broom cupboard?" Marlene teased. Rushing blood raced into Sirius' cheeks, stifling his voice, luckily Remus came to his rescue.
"Shut up Marlene, just because you and Dorcas are together doesn't mean everyone is dying to get off with their best friends." Okay so, not so luckily, Sirius practically felt his heart sinking in his chest, every idea that he could have a chance with Remus suddenly disappeared without a trace.
“Okay, Okay, but I know deep down you’re jealous that I’ve felt the touch of a woman before you” Marlene retorted with a laugh.
“You know nothing about me Marlene, for all you know I could be the Casanova of Gryffindor tower!” Remus joked with a dramatic gesture.
“Settle down girls, I’m sure you’ll all find someone to touch you soon enough.” Lily joined in, “anyway, they were only five minutes later than the rest of us, I know Remus needs at least ten to stop blushing and stuttering!” she added.
“Shut up Lils, I’ll have you know I happen to be a great lover. Many women swoon at my feet!” Remus finished, to a chorus of laughter from the rest of the gang.
They settled into separate conversations as they ate their lunch, Remus and Lily discussing their Prefect duties and whatever way James has most recently embarrassed himself, Marlene and Dorcas talking quietly to each other, Marlene’s hand resting on Dorcas’ thigh as they giggled. Sirius turned towards James and Peter who had just begun to discuss Gryffindor’s tactics for beating Ravenclaw in their next Quidditch match.
“If Gid and Fab manage to make the same genius moves they did in the last match we’ve got it in the bag, the Ravenclaw seeker doesn’t have anything on me so I don’t need to worry about her.” James theorised.
“Yeah but the Ravenclaw chasers are bloody brilliant, you’ll have to be careful not to let them get too much of a lead on goals before catching the Snitch!” Peter replied.
“Don’t you worry Wormy, I’m not planning to let any of their speccy-loser throws through my goals!” Sirius joined in, happy to be able to think about something other than school work or his aches.
“You’d better get to sleeping better then Pads, the way you look right now, you’re not getting on a broom, let alone playing in a match, you’ll fall asleep on the pitch” James replied, worry evident in his voice.
Sirius sighed, uncomfortable with the change in subject, “I’m fine Prongs don’t worry, I’ll be in tip top condition by next Saturday.”
“Better be, we don’t have a backup keeper, not since Rakepick graduated last year.” James replied.
“Oh boys! Did you hear about the new chaser Hufflepuff has?” Peter asked, changing the subject back to quidditch, much to Sirius’ relief.
“Yeah, he’s huge! We’re gonna have to rearrange our formations if we’re going to have any chance against them in June!” James replied
Bored of the conversation, Sirius allowed himself to zone out, looking down at his food. He worried about what Remus had said when they had just arrived. He never truly thought he’d have any chance with the taller boy, but he had been holding out some small hope. That hope had been completely dashed by Remus’ comments. Of course he would never like Sirius in that way, he isn’t even gay, let alone into one of his best friends.
Just as Sirius resolved to attempt to get over his feelings and move on, Mary walked in, face of thunder, and sat down next to Dorcas.
The group turned away from their conversations to look towards the new arrival.
“I’m officially swearing off boys!” she exclaimed, before adding “Never again will I ever trust one of your species!” pointing accusatively towards the boys sitting at the table.
“Dearborn dump you?” James asked bluntly.
“No! I dumped him actually” She retorted stubbornly.
The girls at Mary’s end of the group jumped into a lively conversation, gossiping about whatever it was Mary’s most recent conquest had done to scorn her. Sirius turned away disinterested and began to push around the food left on his plate with his fork, appetite non-existent.
After a few minutes, Remus stood up away from the table and made his way down to the other end of the group, clearly just as interested in Mary’s drama as Sirius was. As Remus sat down next to him however, Sirius felt a sudden urge to run away, he was sure he couldn't stand being so close to the man, not if he was going to successfully push down his feelings for him.
Without warning, Sirius stood up, plate untouched, picked up his bag and began to walk away at a fast pace.
“Hey, Sirius, where are you going?” James called after him, confused by the sudden departure.
“I just realised I’ve not finished my essay due next period, I’m just going to to finish it quickly” Sirius supplied, unable to think clearly with the panic racing through his thoughts, walking as quickly as he could out of the hall.
The boys left at the table shared a look of confusion.
“Don’t we have divination next?” James asked Peter, “We don’t have anything due for that until next week”
“Since when has he cared about homework anyway?” Remus mused.
“Something is up with that boy, and I don’t just mean his hair in the mornings” James concluded, the other two friends nodding along.